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So you're getting things done.

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You're showing up, you're answering texts,
you're making dinner, but underneath

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all of it, you feel activated, but
flat and far away, like you're watching

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your own life through a foot of glass.

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That's functional freeze.

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And today I want to walk you through
what it is, why it's there, and some real

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small ways to start coming out of it.

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I'm Justin Sunseri, a therapist,
self-regulation coach, and Polyvagal

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Institute editorial board member.

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You're listening to Stuck Not Broken.

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Welcome.

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This is, of course, not personal
life advice or therapy and nor

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should it replace those things.

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Let's start with what freeze is because
I, I see it getting mixed up out there.

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Um, freeze is not its own
separate, distinct autonomic state.

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Freeze is a mixed autonomic state.

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A mixed state is what you get
when two of your primary autonomic

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states are running at the same time.

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There are three of them.

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Play is safety plus mobilization.

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Stillness is safety plus shutdown,
and freeze is mobilization

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plus immobilization, or
flight or fight plus shutdown.

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They're both active at the same time.

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So freeze combines
mobility and immobility.

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It's like having the gas pedal and
the brake pressed at the same time.

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There's mobilization running,
that's the gas, um, your sympathetic

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branch revving you up, ready to act.

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And there's the shutdown, uh, running
at the same time though, and that's the

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brake, your, your dorsal vagal branch
pulling you toward immobility and

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numbness and disconnection and drained.

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Both of those at once,
that's what freeze is.

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So what does the word functional add?

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It describes the severity,
not a different state.

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Functional just means you can still get
through your day while you're in freeze.

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A functional freeze can be mild,
um, like tension, but manageable.

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Or it can be severe with chronic panic,
uh, overwhelm, rage, or fear running just

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like underneath everything that you do.

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So same state, but just
a different intensity.

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Let me quickly separate functional freeze
from a few things it gets confused with

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as well because the mix-up can send
people toward the wrong kind of help,

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and we, we need, we need clarity here.

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Functional freeze is different
but connected to burnout,

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depression, and shutdown.

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Burnout is depletion.

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It's running on empty, uh, over
time, and it might be the result

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of a functional freeze, something I
hear from my clients pretty often.

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You manage and manage and manage
the freeze, crash into burnout, and

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then you recover just enough, and
then you go right back into your

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freeze baseline and do it again.

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Depression is a clinical diagnosis.

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Uh, low mood, low energy, low
motivation, uh, most days for weeks,

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maybe longer, months and longer.

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Uh, through the polyvagal lens, the
underlying mechanism is dorsal shutdown.

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It's a biological mechanism.

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So that's burnout and depression.

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The third one is shutdown.

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Shutdown and freeze
are not the same thing.

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Shutdown is collapse.

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It's the brake without
the gas, the collapse.

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It's the numb and disconnected.

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Freeze is the brake and the gas together.

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People cycle between the two, um,
freeze while they're managing and

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then shut down when they crash.

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But they're different states, or freeze
is… Uh, shutdown is a part of freeze,

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but shutdown is its own thing as well.

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Uh, so they're different states, and that
matters because what actually helps them

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is slightly different, though overlapping.

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I don't think burnout and shutdown are
necessarily the same thing, but those

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two things might be connected as well.

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Here's what it looks like
from the inside, though.

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Picture, I don't know, a normal Tuesday.

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Your inbox is handled.

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Good job, by the way.

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Your kids are picked up.

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That's important.

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Good job.

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And a quick, you know, "Yeah, how…
Good. How you doing?" to your neighbor.

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But inside, your experience, you
can't taste your food, something

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funny, you know, happens in a group
chat, and you just stare at it.

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You overthink your reply, and then
you move on without even replying.

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There's this, like, low hum of,
"I should be doing more," but that

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never actually turns into doing more.

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You're smiling maybe on the
outside, but, uh, internally

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you're, like, wired and far away.

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You're not broken.

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Hopefully you know that.

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Your gas and your brake are both on.

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Stuck, not broken These
signs tend to cluster.

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Wired underneath the flatness, on
edge for no clear reason, feeling far

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from people, even the ones you love.

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Panic or rage or overwhelm or fear just
as an undercurrent underneath it all.

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Tension that won't dissolve,
uh, breath that stays tight

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and shallow in your chest.

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It's a revolving door of tension and
collapse, and it gets hard to start

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things, hard to care about things you
normally care about or to act on it.

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So why does this happen?

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Your nervous system has one very
old simple job: keep you safe

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when… or protected or alive.

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When something feels like too
much, it shifts into defense.

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Fight or flight is the
mobilized one, like the gas.

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But when fight or flight isn't
possible, when you can't run and you

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can't fight, the body reaches for an
older defense and slams on the brake.

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That's the shutdown.

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And freeze is what you get when the
brake, uh, comes on, the shutdown, but

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the flight fight gas is still pressed.

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So it's not a malfunction.

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It- it's protection doing
exactly what it evolved to do.

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Freeze evolved to be temporary.

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It's like going immobile as a danger
passes by or bracing for impact,

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coiling up like a spring and then
releasing when it's possible to release.

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The trouble is that we humans tend
to get stuck in it and freeze.

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Stuck, not broken.

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And that's where the benefit gets lost
of freeze and life gets a lot harder.

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So what do you do about it?

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Well, first, what not to do, because
the two obvious options can backfire.

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The first is to push through it.

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Yeah, you can push, you know, to
get through a meeting, uh, but

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pushing kinda takes whatever gas
you have all the way down to E.

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Pushing is maybe needed to deal
with life and, and that's fine.

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But it doesn't deal with the
underlying stuckness freeze problem.

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Push long enough and you can tip
yourself over into full shutdown.

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The second is just to
check out and do nothing.

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You might call it rest, and
rest does matter for freeze.

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Genuinely, it's important, very
important, but it depends on how.

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Not all rest is equal.

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Collapsing on the couch and
disappearing into a screen for

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six hours, that's not actual rest.

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That doesn't count.

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So we'll call that, uh, faux rest.

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And faux rest tends to deepen the
problem, setting up a loop where

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you faux rest, feel worse, ignore
your problems, faux rest some more,

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and then feel worse and on and on.

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The rest that actually helps is the kind
where you're present within it, mindful

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of the moment that you're actually in.

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So if it's not push harder and it's not
check out and faux rest, what is it?

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It runs in a specific order,
and it depends on how much

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access you have to safety.

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Safety has to thaw the freeze first.

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When your body picks up enough small
safety signals, uh, the brake of

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shutdown, that immobility can come off.

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And once the shutdown immobility
lifts, the mobilization that was

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frozen underneath can finally
start to move instead of just

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sitting there stuck or frozen.

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Safety thaws the freeze.

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The brake releases, and then
the stuck, uh, flight-fight

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energy can move through and out.

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But your safety has to hold
while that happens, which means

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it has to get stronger, which
means this is not a one-time fix.

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It happens in small doses
over time with patience.

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So here's one small way to start today.

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It's a quick orienting and
small movement exercise.

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Don't worry about doing it
perfectly, just follow along.

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You can start wherever you
are a- and however you are.

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There's no, you know, right
way to, to, to sit or stand.

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You can sit, stand, lay down, walk.

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It doesn't… You can walk if you want to.

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It doesn't matter.

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I want you to let your eyes
go where they want to go.

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Don't direct them.

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Just let them drift and follow them.

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As they move or not, notice a few things.

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Notice something that's moving, like
the leaf on a branch or shadows from

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the tree outside swaying on the wall.

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Notice which colors
your eyes are drawn to.

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Notice light and dark.

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Stay with that for like thirty
seconds or longer if you want to.

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Then after you do that, take one
bigger breath in on purpose and let

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it out slowly if it's comfortable.

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Don't force it.

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And then let your next couple of
breaths, uh, happen on their own.

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Don't control them.

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Just be with them.

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And then briefly acknowledge the
freeze that you have underneath it all.

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If you have the capacity, feel
it directly at a very low level

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and keep that part pretty short.

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And then after you do that,
do one small movement.

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Wiggle your toes, make
a fist and release it.

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Roll your wrists or your ankles or
your shoulders and then genuinely

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tell yourself, "Good job." Let your
eyes wander one more time and take

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one more intentional breath in and
out, uh, to finish everything up.

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And that's it.

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Really simple little practice and
y- something you could totally do

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on your own for a minute every day.

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Let your eyes lead and be
drawn to what they like.

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That's a cue of safety.

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The small movement is gentle mobilization.

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You're not trying to feel amazing.

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You're giving the brake permission
to come off a couple of millimeters

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and then letting a little bit of the
stuck energy potentially start to move.

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That little practice will not cure
your freeze, and I'm not going to

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pretend that it will, especially if
you're new to these type of practices.

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What it does though, in small doses
over time, is build the foundation.

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A little more safety, a little
more presence, and maybe

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a little bit less defense.

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Over time, with reps like that,
you might notice small signs

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of your system letting go.

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A shiver or a tingle moving
through you, a bigger breath

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that arrives on its own, a yawn.

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Those are good.

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That's regulation happening
spontaneously, not forced.

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One more thing also.

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Functional freeze is common and
workable, and for a lot of people,

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small daily practices plus real mindful
rest are enough to start shifting it.

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Of course, seek a
professional if it's severe.

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So here's what I want you
to leave this episode with.

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The freeze is not a character
flaw, and it's not a failure,

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and it's not brokenness.

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It's your gas and your brake both
on at the same time for reasons

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that once made complete sense.

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You're not broken, you're stuck.

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And stuckness can move.

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It's not permanent.

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If you're not sure which stuck state
you're in, don't worry, that is common.

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I have a resource just for you.

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Head to stucknotbroken.com/stuck.

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This, uh, free resource will help
you identify your experiences

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and give them some language.

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It might help you to narrow down
your own stuck state, whether

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that's freeze or something else.

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Stucknotbroken.com/stuck.

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Thank you so much for listening.