Today we're talking about something every new mom thinks will be simple until she's actually in it, and that is leaving the house with a newborn.

And I promise you this episode is going to save your sanity, settle your fears, and help you step.

Outta that house confidently with your calm mama energy.

Even when everything feels so brand new, your booty is leaking, your boobies are leaking, and you feel overwhelmed.

Hey friend, it is Trish, and if you're listening today with a baby sleeping on your chest or tucked in the car seat next to you, or you're still pregnant, just know that I see you.

You guys know we're preparing for my.

Sweet little granddaughter over here at Labor Nurse Gigi's house.

I've been exactly where you are seven times over, so even as a labor nurse, as a mama, as now a Gigi, with all of my experience leaving the house in those early days still brought me a mix of excitement and straight up.

Fear.

So before we dive in, I'm gonna give you guys three things today.

One, the real truth that not a lot of people talk about.

A boundary script that stops strangers from touching your baby.

And a grounding technique if you feel like you're losing it when you're out.

And this works under 30 seconds when you're overwhelmed in public.

The last one.

It saved me more times than I can count.

So stay with me and let's talk about what no one tells you.

The emotional load, the invisible prep work that you have to do before you step outside that door, and the overwhelm and the subtle pressure that shows up the moment you crack open your front door.

When you imagine that first outing, you're probably not thinking, what if I'm afraid?

You're probably picturing something sweet and simple.

A target run with your sweet little baby.

A quick coffee pickup.

Or maybe even just a slow walk around the neighborhood, and then reality hits.

Suddenly you're juggling schedules.

You've got spit up, your boobs are leaking, cluster feeding, car seats, diaper explosions, intrusive thoughts, and the pressure to look like you've had a shower and look like you've had it all together.

And nobody really prepares you for the mental load of just leaving the house with a newborn.

So here's what I want you guys to hear.

Nothing is wrong with you.

I don't care if it's baby number one or baby number seven.

Like when I had Grayson.

This is totally normal.

This is mommyhood in real time, and your nervous system is adjusting.

Your hormones are shifting, you're sleep deprived, and you're stepping into this new identity while running on almost no sleep.

And you've never had to leave the house with anyone but you maybe, or maybe this is your second baby and you have a toddler, and of course, leaving the house feels huge.

That does not mean you're doing it wrong.

It means you're just a normal.

Mom and something wild that I didn't realize until baby number three is the fear of leaving the house isn't just about logistics.

It's like part of like your identity, your mourning, that version of yourself who could just grab the keys and run.

And that grief is real and I wanna honor that.

We're going to honor that while also helping you step back into.

The world and outside of your little bubble.

Fear is one of the biggest reasons new moms stay at home longer than they want to, and it could be fear of something going wrong, fear that something might happen that is bad, like a car wreck, and some of that's part of those intrusive thoughts.

Fear that the baby will cry and everyone will judge you.

Fear that your boobies will leak all over your shirt.

Fear that you're gonna forget something important.

Fear that you won't handle it.

Well fear that the world is just too stinking big and too unsafe.

And mama, this is where we're gonna take a breath, because the truth is confidence doesn't show up before the outing.

It shows up after you step out that door.

Just like labor, the momentum builds when you take the first steps.

And I really would encourage you.

To take small baby steps, right?

Maybe it's just for a coffee run or the pediatrician's visit.

I'm gonna tell you guys about one of my students and we'll call her Sally.

You know that's my name.

I love to make up.

Sally didn't leave her house for four weeks, not once she went to that first baby appointment, but she was terrified that her baby would have a meltdown in public 'cause she was dealing with a lot of crying and she was just afraid that she would freeze.

So we practiced on our Ka mama society postpartum hangout, some like, you know, two minute outing preparations, walk to the mailbox, count one 20, come back.

Some of the things that we did, she was crying because, not because it wasn't too hard, but because she realized she needed like someone to hold her hand and do these baby steps.

This is so normal, and I say this all the time, the reason they use sleep deprivation and prisoner of war camps is because it works.

You can't think straight.

So even if walking to the mailbox feels overwhelming to you right now, you're not abnormal like.

This is so normal, or maybe you are just fearful.

So I want you to have a mindset reframe.

You know, I love these things around here.

So instead of being like, what if something goes wrong, flip it to, if something happens, I can handle it.

I'm prepared and I know what to do.

Here's the thing, you don't need to be perfect.

Who cares if your baby cries?

I mean, some of those moms that are listening are like, oh, I want a newborn.

They're not judging you.

You have to have a little self-compassion for yourself, some realistic expectations and a simple plan.

So say this with me right now out loud.

I'm allowed to have a life and to have a baby say it three times.

I'm allowed to have a life and to have a baby.

And I know it sounds cheesy, but give yourself permission because that calms your nervous system faster than any logical thought ever Will.

Now we're gonna talk about some practical prep, and this is where we can turn your fear into a little bit of a structure, and then your structure will help you feel more confident.

I don't know if you guys are like me, but I'm a checklist gal, so I'm gonna give you guys the diaper formula that gets shared in all of my groups.

So listen close.

We're gonna talk about packing pack light.

Most moms are like throwing all the things in.

They are overpacking.

I call it compulsive packing disorder, not strategy.

So here's a list.

One or two outfits for the baby, an extra shirt for you if you're breastfeeding, one extra onesie.

And now for your diapers, here's the formula one diaper per hour, you'll be out.

Plus two.

So one plus two per hour.

Gone, one hour, three diapers, gone, four hours, six diapers.

This protects you from the triple poopy blowouts, right?

And it also keeps your bag from being a literal storage unit.

Wies, a portable changing pad, a swaddle or a blanket, a burp cloth if you're using a pacifier.

If you're feeding with a bottle, bottle feeding supplies and some sort of like breast pads, if you're breastfeeding.

Your wallet, your keys, your water, that's it.

You do not need the entire nursery, I promise you.

I love to keep a go bag by the door.

So have that bag ready and then restock it with that list every night.

That way if you have to leave.

Quickly if you have to go on a short little errand.

This removes the mental load of like, what am I forgetting?

And this could be your partner's job.

This could be your mother-in-law's job.

This could be your mom's job and that's gonna cut your leaving , the house fear in half.

I promise you.

The other thing is don't time outings between naps and feeds go immediately after a feed.

This gives you the best 45 to 90 minute

window of calm.

Timing is everything, and this one shift will change the game for you.

The other thing, like I said before, is start small.

Your first trip doesn't have to be a full on grocery run.

It could be a walk, it could be a drive, it could be a coffee pickup, it could be a 20 minute grocery run, and you're gonna build with those small wins and give yourself so much more confidence, I promise you.

Take it.

Small baby steps.

The other thing that I wanna talk about, because a lot of my members, talk about this, is getting really nervous, like starting to sweat because the baby is crying.

Babies cry, girl.

Your job is not to prevent crying.

Your job is to respond to your baby.

You're not being judged, I promise.

Even if you feel like someone is side eyeing you, that is their problem, that is not yours.

And most people in public are so wrapped up in their own stuff, they're not really paying attention to you.

Even if they look at you, they're probably not paying attention and the judgment that we feel as moms.

Is usually our own fear.

Projected outward.

You are doing such a good job and it's okay if your baby cries.

I want you to say that out loud.

It's okay if my baby cries.

Now, the other thing I wanna talk about is what do you do if people want to touch your baby?

This is a big one, and a lot of people don't warn you.

How intense that protective instinct feels when you walk out with your baby in a store or wherever when you're with your tiny little newborn.

And suddenly people think they need to put their hands in your baby's face.

And I've even had elderly women try to kiss my baby.

No ma'am, this is not gonna happen.

So a boundary script that I want you to use.

And this is the one that literally goes viral every time I share it.

The, there's a couple, and we give a couple is number one, we're keeping her hands off until she's a little older.

And remember, as I always tell you guys, when you're setting boundaries with words, put your hand up, like, stop.

The other one is, oh, thank you so much, but I'm protecting her immune system.

So no touching right now.

And the last one is, thank you for being so excited.

I know newborn babies are so enticing, but we're keeping space with her right now.

These are firm, they're kind, and they're non-negotiable.

And remember, put your hand up to say, stop.

That's a universal sign of stop.

If you struggle with confrontation, which I know a lot of mamas do.

Here's your shift.

You're not being rude.

You are being protected of this baby that has been placed in your care and your baby's safety matters more than someone else's feelings.

It's not your responsibility how they feel seriously.

I promise.

So say this out loud.

Practice it so when the moment comes, you'll be ready.

And if someone reaches out towards you, step back slightly.

Put your hand up again gently, like a stop sign while you say the script that feels best for you.

Body language plus words equals a boundary portrayed.

Okay.

So the other thing I wanna talk about that I think a lot of people don't talk about is overstimulation and anxiety when you're out and about.

So if you're out and you suddenly feel overwhelmed, here's your grounding plan.

I want you to take 30 seconds and I promise you, I promise you at the beginning of this, this episode, that this would help you.

I want you to pause, if you're watching the video, can do this with me.

Put your hand on your chest.

And that actually signals your nervous system to settle down.

And you're gonna take slow breath in for four.

If you've been following me, if you did calm labor, confident birth bundle, then you know this in for four out for six.

So we're gonna do it together.

Okay?

So we're gonna do it three times in a row.

We're gonna do it once for the podcast, but you can pause and do it four, three times in a row.

So ready do this in for four.

So in.

This activates your parasympathetic nervous system and tells your body that you're safe.

So mama, if you're at Target, if you're at the store, if you're in the car.

Put your hand on your chest and do your in for four out for six, and that will tell your body that you're safe and it's also training your child to do the same later on.

Okay?

When you do that, you can also think in your head or when you're done, whisper to yourself.

I am safe.

My baby is safe, and I am calm now.

If that doesn't work and you're still feeling a certain way, go home.

Leaving is not failing.

That is using your intuition to say, I've had enough.

I, I've had to.

Now this was more with toddlers pitch and fits.

I've left a grocery cart full of food in the middle of the aisle and I've walked outta coffee shops.

With my children.

And here's the thing, celebrate the fact that you listen to your body and to your intuition.

It's okay.

You will win this another day, I promise.

Because here's the thing, you got outta the house.

You did the thing, you're building your confidence.

And here's what I want you to do.

Every single time, every outing, no matter how it went.

I want you to say one thing that you did well, I packed my bag.

I didn't forget a diaper.

I got to the car.

I stayed calm when the baby was freaking out and stacked those wins.

I really want you to celebrate the small wins because they are gonna build into your mom confidence.

every first time, mom, every mom has moments where the outside world just feels too big and scary and too fast.

But I promise you.

Trust your instincts.

Trust your intuition.

Your baby does not need a perfect mom who does it, all right?

Every time.

Sh your baby needs you.

So every time you walk out the door with your newborn, you're building that new mama identity, that calm, that confident, that capable mom who trusts herself.

That's how you build momentum step by step.

Don't compare another mom's like 10 years in with your 10 minutes in.

You know, there's things that nobody tell you.

One, the version of you right now is braver than the version that stayed home yesterday.

You are not the same woman you were before you gave birth.

You're stronger, you're more intuitive.

You are a mama, and your identity is building in these small, little courageous steps one day at a time.

Mama, we are here to support you.

We adore you.

Like I absolutely have such a heart for each and every one of you.

I hope you know that.

I wanna give you real talk and guidance and a community of women that are walking this exact journey with you.

As always, I invite you if you are already delivered to join Calm Mama Society.

It's $19 a month, and so we're here for you.

We talk about everything newborn, to boundaries, to sex, to postpartum emotions, feeding, healing, birth, trauma, all of it.

You don't have to figure it out alone.

I'm also always here a DM away, so you can always send us a dm. We answer all of our dms.

Sometimes our bot goes a little crazy, so bear with us, but just be, you know, persistent.

If you love today's episode, take a second to rate it, review it, share it with a friend who's about to head out the house with a tiny little baby, and tag me in your stories.

When you take that first outing, I wanna hear about it.

We read everything that you guys send us, and we love cheering you on.

As a mom of seven and a Gigi almost.

To two babies.

I'm here with you.

You've got this, mama.

Now grab your keys, girl.

Take a deep breath and step out of the house.

With that calm mama energy, you are more ready than you think.

As always, I will see you again next week.

Bye for now.