Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge podcast. Today we are talking
about seating plans. Now I hope you have your drink ready as we recommended last week because
seating plans can cause a bit of a headache. So what is a seating plan? Seating plan is basically
where your guests are going to be sat during your wedding first, your main meal. If you're having
a formal or informal but the sit down meal, quite often you will tell your guests where they're
going to be sat or what table they're going to be sat on. Now when you come to plan your seating
plan, I cannot stress enough that it is not quick task. You really need to set aside a time when
you've both agreed you're going to be dealing with it. We're in the right headspace and you've just
got time basically to do it because even if you're only having 30 people you still need to work out
all the logistics of who's going to be sitting where and by who and and it can sort of make or
break your wedding breakfast. Yeah because you don't want people, the next people they don't know,
you don't want people sat next to someone they know really well they're going to exclude other
people. There's lots of things to consider. There's so many options and you just want to have a nice
mind together and make sure that they're all having, and the other thing is you can come back to it.
Yes, you don't need to do it all in one go, take it step by step and just do little bits at a time.
So my advice will be to work out some basic rules and to start small. So don't try and tackle
all your guests in one go, don't try and you know look at it as a big picture, you need to break it
down into small sections. So I always start off by taking the singles, the men and the women and
coupling them up with people that you think they'll go well with. You need to set up some ground rules
first. So do you want to have couples sitting next to each other or do you want to split couples up?
Do you want to have tables of mates altogether or do you want to mix the sides? I think that really
depends as well on how long you guys been together and how well you know each other because I think if
you know if you met at university all your friends are from university and then there's a few school
friends most of you guess they're going to know both of you rather than one or the other. Yeah.
And then are you going to alternate men and women? Are you going to put all the girls together,
guys together, the groups together? You need to set some ground rules before you then start
tackling the table plan. And then I would take it right back like I said earlier and start from
the very basics. So put the ones into twos and put twos with another two. And then once you put all
your pairs into fours then look at the fours and put your fours with another four. Yeah, that's
a really good piece of advice. Instead of trying to tackle a whole table build up. Yeah, build up
in steps. Got your groups there, your groups of eight people which most tables are tables of 10.
It's quite a nice easy way to use this as you've got a table there without having to put too much
thought into it. Definitely. And especially if you're planning on mixing sides, the nice thing is
you could look at say you've got Joe and Bill on this side and Joe is a lawyer and Bill is a teacher
and then you've got Fred and Emily on the other side and Fred works in accounts law or something.
But you can then pair them together because they'll have mutual things to discuss or they both
like riding or they both have dogs can find some mutual ground that hopefully when they're sitting
next to each other, that'd be a common conversation would just appear. And I also think when you're
building up these groups of people, it is always important. I think no matter how you've decided to
set your rules, it is important to make sure they know someone on the table if they know someone at
all. Yes, split up families. I think sometimes, you know, I don't know, you can fall into the trap
of having a family table but you might have cousins with like aunties and uncles and it's like
cousins might actually get on better with some of your friends and the aunties and uncles might
get on better with some of your parents friends because they might know them. Yeah. Or if you've got
the vicar coming, for example, the vicar could sit on a table with like the older generation.
It's good to, you know, don't be so rigid on family must all sit together or all my school friends
because as you say, they might make some great friendships to people if they've got other interests
with your friends from the different sides. Exactly. Another nice thing to do as well is if you're
not having a formal top table, you could have or if you've got divorced parents, you can have a
table for each of your parents and yeah, their friends as well, which is quite a nice way to do it.
And depending on what you're planning to do if you're having a formal top table, obviously kind of
alleviate that problem. But who are you going to sit with? Yeah. As well. Who do you really want to
sit near on your day? Do you want to, you know, sit with your parents? Do you want to sit with your
buddies? Where do you want to be in all this? As well. And then once you've decided on this and
you've got your groups together and you've got a rough idea, it's also a good idea to think
about if you're having speeches, who is making speech. It is important, but it isn't, but it's just good
to consider in advance where they are sat because if you want them to stand up and say the speech
from their seat, while they're going to be seen by a lot of the room, or will they have their backs
to people? If you want them to move, are they sort of relatively near where the microphone's going
to be? If you've got a microphone on stage or microphone at the top table, don't have someone
making a speech right at the back, because it's just awkward, they've got to walk all the way through.
And as well, your videographer, your videographer's going to change a setup, like it's so much
easier to find one place for your speeches to happen than them have to sit those people in like a rough
area. Likewise, if you're having children at your wedding, just think about where children will go,
prams, high chairs, don't have them in the middle of the room because they're just going to take up
space. I'm not saying put them in a corner, but when I've been at a wedding with my young son,
it was handy. We were sat on the outside of our table so that we could have the pram behind us.
If he was upset, we could get up, get up easily and walk around. We weren't trapped in the middle
and having to squeeze past people. And likewise, if children in high chairs don't have them, unless
they're like key family members, don't have them right by the speech makers. If it's distracting,
you have them far away with the colouring pack. I'm going to give him granny some more,
easily, so that's what glue. Yeah. And also, I think the fun tables, there's always one or two
funton tables and it's where do you put them? Do you put them as far away from the bar as possible?
Do you put them near the bar? Yeah. You need to work that one out. Are you planning on having
drinks on the table and enough drink on the table? Or are they going to be going up to the bar toward
their drinks in which case you don't walk you past all the other guests? Unless you want to slow them
down. Unless you want to slow them down, and have them further away from the booth.
Make it a real obstacle. Yes, they're not bothered about getting up and draining the free bar.
And then you've got to consider your dietary requirements. Yes. And how is your caterer going to know
how this is? I put together a nice seating plan. I liked all my dietary requirements, so I put it
in order of the guests going around the table. Yes, me too. Or in lines, depends how you're
positioning people. And then I highlight them in different colours and have like a key code,
essentially. So when you've got whoever's running the front of house, they can come out and they
can be like, right, this person has a dietary requirement. They can double check with that person,
but it just alleviates that. Who's the vegetarian on this table moment? Oh, it's me over here.
It just will make everything so much smoother and so much easier for both you and your catering
team. Unless noticeable for the guests. And they're not sort of having to raise their hand,
as you say, to identify themselves. Someone can just come to them, have a quiet word to say,
"God, a vegetarian meal for you." Fine, they don't have to make a big song and dance about.
Unless your guests has managed to move their place. Yes. Which can happen. And it's not something
that you can really do very much about. And it's not something to get stressed over. Neither.
Like I think if that happens, unless you've got an entire table of guests trying to move themselves
in which ways to have a word with either your wedding planner or your catering, be like,
"I can see this going on and that's not right. Just let one or two guests be." And as a guest,
just respect where you're waiting for that. Please. Yeah, it's a time and energy and conversations.
And it's not easy when you're doing your seating plan. There's going to be people that are upset.
Like you can't please everyone. Everyone can't sit next to absolutely everyone that they want to.
But you know, it's just for the meals. They've got all day or evening to talk to people.
Yes. And I think the key thing here is really consider whether you're going to tell your guests
in advance. Not formally tell them because no one does that. But just conversationally let them know
who they're sat with because sometimes they can then share their opinion. And if you've decided
something, just let them deal with it on the day. Yes. Like if you say, "Well, actually you're just
talking to your dad or something or your mom." And you're like, "Well, I've put your sister, you know,
my auntie over here. She's going to be with them and not them." And then they go and tell her, she's like,
"Well, I would rather sit next with my son and daughter. I don't want to sit with, you know, these people."
Then just let them deal with it on the day. Don't keep it secret, but don't necessarily tell people
where they're sat. Yes. Give them a chance to have an opinion. Yeah. Exactly. We don't want opinions.
And make sure with your plan when you're doing it, you have it as a working document.
Yes. Something that you can change in order because things happen.
Friendships change, people fall out. So you want to be able to move people right up until the very last
moment when you've got to send it off to the printers. You need to be able to edit that document easily.
Whether or not you pipe post it notes on a dried clothes paper or digitally on an Excel document,
whatever, just make sure it's easy to edit. Because you know, as you say, relationships will change,
guess it's might drop out. If they've some reason got it child care suddenly or something,
then they might know well in advance. And I just think if you are going to do it physically,
like with a big piece of paper and post it notes, it might be a good idea just to sort of the end
of every seating plan session, maybe just take a quick snap on your phone. So that if some reason
the cat walks over the paper or something or if it's just a wind, then you haven't lost all your hard work.
Well, because you imagine like the tears and the touch of your face. Oh my goodness.
Like that. It's not worth it. No, it's not. We've spoken about the bigger picture of getting all your
guests together and working out who's sitting on what table. But then it's kind of trying to figure out
where everyone's sitting on that table. And I think with that, you need to take it as one
table at a time. Yes, like size pieces. Interestingly, the real popularity at the minute is to have
long tables and tables or straight lines of lots of people linear roads. That is much harder to
work out where everyone's going to sit than around table. So when you're coming to table plan,
if you're choosing to have long tables, bear that in mind because you've got a lot more guests to
try and see next to each other and work out who's going to be speaking to. Whereas with the around
table, you've got 10 to 12 people and that is your limit. Would you recommend people if they've got
long rows of trestle tables to take it sort of treat one or two trestle tables as a table and work
it out or look at it as a whole. What would you do? So I think yeah, you can start small, but you've
got to make sure those people cross over. Yes. So the people sitting on the end of one line
get on with the next line. So maybe what you need to do is take it as chunks of six. Yeah.
So have each individual trestle table and then pair the six with a six and then pair that six
for another six. And then that way you can kind of like slowly build up. I think that's the key,
isn't it? Building up slowly. Don't try and think you're going to sit there and just do the whole
thing and work it. Yeah, because it will not work like that. And then on the day, you obviously need
your seating plan there for your guests to see. I always recommend to people to have the seating
plan out in the drinks reception. There's no point waiting until your guests are walking into the
dining area, whether it's the marquee or at your venue to finally see where they're being sat.
If you can tell them in advance and then it speeds up the whole process of seating people.
People are nosy. They want to have a look. If I saw the seating plan out while I was having a drink,
I'd be like, who am I sat with? Where am I sat? So although I've not been in the marquee,
when I walk in, I know I'm looking for table 10 or I know that I'm looking for Sarah because she's on
my table and she's already gone in. So if you've got the budget as well as worth having a couple of
copies, definitely. Just so you can position them around. Or if there is only one space, you can have
it when you walk into the venue or the marquee, you can have two copies so you can have twice the
amount of people looking at it in one go. Because it is quite a slow process. I also don't tend to
appreciate the amount of time it takes you to seat all your guests. And that's if your guests
start seating when you've told them to. Yes. Which doesn't happen anyway. No. I've got a party coming up
this summer with 500 guests and I've just said we need to have the seating plan was played numerous
places throughout the drinks reception and also in different ways. So I think we're going to have
it by table. So people can see by table but also alphabetically. Yes. Because of that number of
people, they need to go to their surname find Barker and then look there's Sarah. It says that she's
then all night table seven. I tend to print out an alphabetical order. Yes. And have it with me
on the day. And I also give it to a couple of either catering staff or ushers. Yep. And tend to position
them near the table plans so that they can kind of go XYZ person. Here you are and they can help
some because some people really struggle to find their names. Yes. On the way that the table plans
up. So you need to think about that as well. Like how are you going to display your table plan?
Are you going to display it alphabetically or are you going to display it by table and then how
are you going to display the names on each table? Are you going to display those alphabetically
or where they're sitting? That's a good point. So once you yeah if you're having it by table and you've
got table 10, is it alphabetical by surname or to do it alphabetical by surname on the table.
And then when they get to the table they can just find their C table. I suppose again it depends if
you've got really long tables and you're calling like two or three tressel tables long. So that's 80,
so say you've got three tressel tables is table corn or something. Yeah. Then it is slightly easier
to have them where they're sat. So at least especially with tressels because then you know which side
you're going up, whereas around I think you're right. You can have it alphabetical under the table
and you can easily just see on around table where you're sat. But I think if you're having long
rows of tressel tables it is helpful to give people a bit more guidance before they walk in there
and other people don't know. So we did we did two lines so you kind of knew which side you've grown.
Yes. Yeah. So there was like table it was a ski resort so we had like a table what was one of
the runs Jerusalem. Yeah. The left side and the right side. So then you knew which side you're on.
Yes. But it was still alphabetical because then it kind of broke it down even more but guess
but it is just having those those thoughts and considerations on how easy it's going to be for
your guests to try and find their name on the table. You obviously want it to be aesthetically
pleasing because that's what it's hard. The decor isn't it having the table plan. I love
escort tables I'm I quite like that idea. You know I do you quite like that idea and I think it depends
on all of them. I think it depends on the guest numbers. I think they work if you've got smaller
numbers like they seem really cute ideas where you have like a little flower pot just play on a
wall like you know a little herb in and you have your name and then you turn it around and it says
you're on table seven. Yeah. Then what would you do have that strictly alphabetical order?
Yeah. I think if you're having escort you have it alphabetical. I'm appeals to my OCD needs.
Yeah. I would definitely have to have it alphabetical. I mean I've done it before where you have like name
cards. Yeah. But I would just think if you're going to do an escort table do something a bit exciting.
Yeah. But I guess if you're having if you're having 160 guests you won't necessarily want 160
planets but it's a really nice way to include some personality like on all of books where you know
everyone gets a vintage book from a charity shop and on the spine it's got your name and your
place you know yeah you know something different. I did um it was a style shoot and that it
wouldn't necessarily work on a big scale but if you're having an intimate dinner we had hand carved
eggs as you're looking at me blank as an escort eggs. How does that work? So there's fabulous lady
hatchfully yours and she creates hand carved eggs so they're real eggs and she extracts the middle
from them and she coves them. What you've used to do as a child but you blow the oak out? Yeah I think
yeah that's a bit like that but she creates my beautiful intricate designs like she etches into
them details designs adds like pearls finishes paints them and we did it for the shoot where they were
on clear little stands on each guest because it was only a shoot we had about 18. Each guest had
their egg and they had a little hook at the top and then we had a kligger for Charlotte from
blissfully yours created little name places so you had dandling in the middle of your egg was your name
and on the back it said what table you're on and I just think they were displayed on a beautiful
like bureau and I just think if you're planning a smaller guest camp you can do something a bit more
interesting like that and then obviously that's the key to say then there was beautiful things. What's
the good point to get your favours in those? Yes yeah or another good way is to use your place names
as well but but yeah I think escot tables you know you can do a bit more personality or I don't know
if you're Harry Potter fan you could have a wand or like a champagne wall. Yes yeah the ribbons
tied around really simple but so then you take your toasting drink to the table your ribbons says
your name in your way you're sat and then you've got your glass as well and I'm just going to
do your glass and I think there's loads of different ways to include it and that's the fun part
but you need to do the hard part first yes and it is hard so don't think you're going to manage it
in all of our 15 minutes together it's going to be an evening in front of the telly with a couple
well maybe not the telly but it's up with glass of wine not too many you know you take away
yes make an occasion of it yeah and have some fun whilst you're doing it because it can really
yeah it's a big job and it is only a job that you can do no one can do this for you even as
planners we can't do it because we don't know the intricacies of everyone's like family relationships
no we did have our tip for the episode but it's such a good tip that we have said it about three
to nine minutes and felt the episode so I am going to reiterate it because I think it is worth
reiterating and that is come back to it have a go set some time aside there's much as you can but if
you're getting a headache you're knocking heads over it because you just can't agree on something
just take a breather start this process as soon as you've got your RSVPs back
give yourself plenty of time the majority of you are RSVPs back so you don't have to wait for
all your guests you can just start the ball rolling and then slot other people in as they
it is a working document so you know you could get the majority of it done beforehand but we have
mentioned that numerous times throughout the episode because it's so important it is important
to know that just come back to it yeah exactly you've got tons of time most of your caterers won't
need to know until four weeks out and you tend to have your RSVPs in a while before that exactly
with love yes and remember to listen to the wedding lounge podcast in the back round whilst you're
tackling your decent man for more tips next week we will be talking about just the wedding breakfast
in general won't we we are indeed have a good week see you then bye