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 Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge podcast. Today we are talking

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 about seating plans. Now I hope you have your drink ready as we recommended last week because

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 seating plans can cause a bit of a headache. So what is a seating plan? Seating plan is basically

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 where your guests are going to be sat during your wedding first, your main meal. If you're having

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 a formal or informal but the sit down meal, quite often you will tell your guests where they're

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 going to be sat or what table they're going to be sat on. Now when you come to plan your seating

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 plan, I cannot stress enough that it is not quick task. You really need to set aside a time when

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 you've both agreed you're going to be dealing with it. We're in the right headspace and you've just

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 got time basically to do it because even if you're only having 30 people you still need to work out

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 all the logistics of who's going to be sitting where and by who and and it can sort of make or

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 break your wedding breakfast. Yeah because you don't want people, the next people they don't know,

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 you don't want people sat next to someone they know really well they're going to exclude other

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 people. There's lots of things to consider. There's so many options and you just want to have a nice

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 mind together and make sure that they're all having, and the other thing is you can come back to it.

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 Yes, you don't need to do it all in one go, take it step by step and just do little bits at a time.

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 So my advice will be to work out some basic rules and to start small. So don't try and tackle

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 all your guests in one go, don't try and you know look at it as a big picture, you need to break it

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 down into small sections. So I always start off by taking the singles, the men and the women and

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 coupling them up with people that you think they'll go well with. You need to set up some ground rules

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 first. So do you want to have couples sitting next to each other or do you want to split couples up?

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 Do you want to have tables of mates altogether or do you want to mix the sides? I think that really

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 depends as well on how long you guys been together and how well you know each other because I think if

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 you know if you met at university all your friends are from university and then there's a few school

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 friends most of you guess they're going to know both of you rather than one or the other. Yeah.

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 And then are you going to alternate men and women? Are you going to put all the girls together,

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 guys together, the groups together? You need to set some ground rules before you then start

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 tackling the table plan. And then I would take it right back like I said earlier and start from

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 the very basics. So put the ones into twos and put twos with another two. And then once you put all

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 your pairs into fours then look at the fours and put your fours with another four. Yeah, that's

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 a really good piece of advice. Instead of trying to tackle a whole table build up. Yeah, build up

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 in steps. Got your groups there, your groups of eight people which most tables are tables of 10.

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 It's quite a nice easy way to use this as you've got a table there without having to put too much

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 thought into it. Definitely. And especially if you're planning on mixing sides, the nice thing is

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 you could look at say you've got Joe and Bill on this side and Joe is a lawyer and Bill is a teacher

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 and then you've got Fred and Emily on the other side and Fred works in accounts law or something.

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 But you can then pair them together because they'll have mutual things to discuss or they both

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 like riding or they both have dogs can find some mutual ground that hopefully when they're sitting

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 next to each other, that'd be a common conversation would just appear. And I also think when you're

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 building up these groups of people, it is always important. I think no matter how you've decided to

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 set your rules, it is important to make sure they know someone on the table if they know someone at

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 all. Yes, split up families. I think sometimes, you know, I don't know, you can fall into the trap

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 of having a family table but you might have cousins with like aunties and uncles and it's like

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 cousins might actually get on better with some of your friends and the aunties and uncles might

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 get on better with some of your parents friends because they might know them. Yeah. Or if you've got

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 the vicar coming, for example, the vicar could sit on a table with like the older generation.

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 It's good to, you know, don't be so rigid on family must all sit together or all my school friends

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 because as you say, they might make some great friendships to people if they've got other interests

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 with your friends from the different sides. Exactly. Another nice thing to do as well is if you're

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 not having a formal top table, you could have or if you've got divorced parents, you can have a

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 table for each of your parents and yeah, their friends as well, which is quite a nice way to do it.

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 And depending on what you're planning to do if you're having a formal top table, obviously kind of

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 alleviate that problem. But who are you going to sit with? Yeah. As well. Who do you really want to

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 sit near on your day? Do you want to, you know, sit with your parents? Do you want to sit with your

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 buddies? Where do you want to be in all this? As well. And then once you've decided on this and

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 you've got your groups together and you've got a rough idea, it's also a good idea to think

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 about if you're having speeches, who is making speech. It is important, but it isn't, but it's just good

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 to consider in advance where they are sat because if you want them to stand up and say the speech

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 from their seat, while they're going to be seen by a lot of the room, or will they have their backs

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 to people? If you want them to move, are they sort of relatively near where the microphone's going

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 to be? If you've got a microphone on stage or microphone at the top table, don't have someone

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 making a speech right at the back, because it's just awkward, they've got to walk all the way through.

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 And as well, your videographer, your videographer's going to change a setup, like it's so much

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 easier to find one place for your speeches to happen than them have to sit those people in like a rough

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 area. Likewise, if you're having children at your wedding, just think about where children will go,

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 prams, high chairs, don't have them in the middle of the room because they're just going to take up

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 space. I'm not saying put them in a corner, but when I've been at a wedding with my young son,

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 it was handy. We were sat on the outside of our table so that we could have the pram behind us.

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 If he was upset, we could get up, get up easily and walk around. We weren't trapped in the middle

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 and having to squeeze past people. And likewise, if children in high chairs don't have them, unless

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 they're like key family members, don't have them right by the speech makers. If it's distracting,

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 you have them far away with the colouring pack. I'm going to give him granny some more,

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 easily, so that's what glue. Yeah. And also, I think the fun tables, there's always one or two

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 funton tables and it's where do you put them? Do you put them as far away from the bar as possible?

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 Do you put them near the bar? Yeah. You need to work that one out. Are you planning on having

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 drinks on the table and enough drink on the table? Or are they going to be going up to the bar toward

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 their drinks in which case you don't walk you past all the other guests? Unless you want to slow them

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 down. Unless you want to slow them down, and have them further away from the booth.

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 Make it a real obstacle. Yes, they're not bothered about getting up and draining the free bar.

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 And then you've got to consider your dietary requirements. Yes. And how is your caterer going to know

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 how this is? I put together a nice seating plan. I liked all my dietary requirements, so I put it

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 in order of the guests going around the table. Yes, me too. Or in lines, depends how you're

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 positioning people. And then I highlight them in different colours and have like a key code,

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 essentially. So when you've got whoever's running the front of house, they can come out and they

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 can be like, right, this person has a dietary requirement. They can double check with that person,

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 but it just alleviates that. Who's the vegetarian on this table moment? Oh, it's me over here.

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 It just will make everything so much smoother and so much easier for both you and your catering

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 team. Unless noticeable for the guests. And they're not sort of having to raise their hand,

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 as you say, to identify themselves. Someone can just come to them, have a quiet word to say,

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 "God, a vegetarian meal for you." Fine, they don't have to make a big song and dance about.

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 Unless your guests has managed to move their place. Yes. Which can happen. And it's not something

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 that you can really do very much about. And it's not something to get stressed over. Neither.

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 Like I think if that happens, unless you've got an entire table of guests trying to move themselves

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 in which ways to have a word with either your wedding planner or your catering, be like,

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 "I can see this going on and that's not right. Just let one or two guests be." And as a guest,

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 just respect where you're waiting for that. Please. Yeah, it's a time and energy and conversations.

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 And it's not easy when you're doing your seating plan. There's going to be people that are upset.

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 Like you can't please everyone. Everyone can't sit next to absolutely everyone that they want to.

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 But you know, it's just for the meals. They've got all day or evening to talk to people.

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 Yes. And I think the key thing here is really consider whether you're going to tell your guests

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 in advance. Not formally tell them because no one does that. But just conversationally let them know

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 who they're sat with because sometimes they can then share their opinion. And if you've decided

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 something, just let them deal with it on the day. Yes. Like if you say, "Well, actually you're just

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 talking to your dad or something or your mom." And you're like, "Well, I've put your sister, you know,

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 my auntie over here. She's going to be with them and not them." And then they go and tell her, she's like,

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 "Well, I would rather sit next with my son and daughter. I don't want to sit with, you know, these people."

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 Then just let them deal with it on the day. Don't keep it secret, but don't necessarily tell people

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 where they're sat. Yes. Give them a chance to have an opinion. Yeah. Exactly. We don't want opinions.

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 And make sure with your plan when you're doing it, you have it as a working document.

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 Yes. Something that you can change in order because things happen.

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 Friendships change, people fall out. So you want to be able to move people right up until the very last

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 moment when you've got to send it off to the printers. You need to be able to edit that document easily.

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 Whether or not you pipe post it notes on a dried clothes paper or digitally on an Excel document,

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 whatever, just make sure it's easy to edit. Because you know, as you say, relationships will change,

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 guess it's might drop out. If they've some reason got it child care suddenly or something,

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 then they might know well in advance. And I just think if you are going to do it physically,

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 like with a big piece of paper and post it notes, it might be a good idea just to sort of the end

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 of every seating plan session, maybe just take a quick snap on your phone. So that if some reason

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 the cat walks over the paper or something or if it's just a wind, then you haven't lost all your hard work.

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 Well, because you imagine like the tears and the touch of your face. Oh my goodness.

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 Like that. It's not worth it. No, it's not. We've spoken about the bigger picture of getting all your

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 guests together and working out who's sitting on what table. But then it's kind of trying to figure out

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 where everyone's sitting on that table. And I think with that, you need to take it as one

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 table at a time. Yes, like size pieces. Interestingly, the real popularity at the minute is to have

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 long tables and tables or straight lines of lots of people linear roads. That is much harder to

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 work out where everyone's going to sit than around table. So when you're coming to table plan,

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 if you're choosing to have long tables, bear that in mind because you've got a lot more guests to

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 try and see next to each other and work out who's going to be speaking to. Whereas with the around

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 table, you've got 10 to 12 people and that is your limit. Would you recommend people if they've got

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 long rows of trestle tables to take it sort of treat one or two trestle tables as a table and work

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 it out or look at it as a whole. What would you do? So I think yeah, you can start small, but you've

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 got to make sure those people cross over. Yes. So the people sitting on the end of one line

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 get on with the next line. So maybe what you need to do is take it as chunks of six. Yeah.

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 So have each individual trestle table and then pair the six with a six and then pair that six

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 for another six. And then that way you can kind of like slowly build up. I think that's the key,

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 isn't it? Building up slowly. Don't try and think you're going to sit there and just do the whole

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 thing and work it. Yeah, because it will not work like that. And then on the day, you obviously need

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 your seating plan there for your guests to see. I always recommend to people to have the seating

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 plan out in the drinks reception. There's no point waiting until your guests are walking into the

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 dining area, whether it's the marquee or at your venue to finally see where they're being sat.

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 If you can tell them in advance and then it speeds up the whole process of seating people.

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 People are nosy. They want to have a look. If I saw the seating plan out while I was having a drink,

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 I'd be like, who am I sat with? Where am I sat? So although I've not been in the marquee,

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 when I walk in, I know I'm looking for table 10 or I know that I'm looking for Sarah because she's on

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 my table and she's already gone in. So if you've got the budget as well as worth having a couple of

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 copies, definitely. Just so you can position them around. Or if there is only one space, you can have

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 it when you walk into the venue or the marquee, you can have two copies so you can have twice the

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 amount of people looking at it in one go. Because it is quite a slow process. I also don't tend to

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 appreciate the amount of time it takes you to seat all your guests. And that's if your guests

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 start seating when you've told them to. Yes. Which doesn't happen anyway. No. I've got a party coming up

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 this summer with 500 guests and I've just said we need to have the seating plan was played numerous

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 places throughout the drinks reception and also in different ways. So I think we're going to have

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 it by table. So people can see by table but also alphabetically. Yes. Because of that number of

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 people, they need to go to their surname find Barker and then look there's Sarah. It says that she's

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 then all night table seven. I tend to print out an alphabetical order. Yes. And have it with me

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 on the day. And I also give it to a couple of either catering staff or ushers. Yep. And tend to position

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 them near the table plans so that they can kind of go XYZ person. Here you are and they can help

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 some because some people really struggle to find their names. Yes. On the way that the table plans

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 up. So you need to think about that as well. Like how are you going to display your table plan?

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 Are you going to display it alphabetically or are you going to display it by table and then how

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 are you going to display the names on each table? Are you going to display those alphabetically

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 or where they're sitting? That's a good point. So once you yeah if you're having it by table and you've

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 got table 10, is it alphabetical by surname or to do it alphabetical by surname on the table.

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 And then when they get to the table they can just find their C table. I suppose again it depends if

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 you've got really long tables and you're calling like two or three tressel tables long. So that's 80,

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 so say you've got three tressel tables is table corn or something. Yeah. Then it is slightly easier

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 to have them where they're sat. So at least especially with tressels because then you know which side

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 you're going up, whereas around I think you're right. You can have it alphabetical under the table

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 and you can easily just see on around table where you're sat. But I think if you're having long

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 rows of tressel tables it is helpful to give people a bit more guidance before they walk in there

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 and other people don't know. So we did we did two lines so you kind of knew which side you've grown.

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 Yes. Yeah. So there was like table it was a ski resort so we had like a table what was one of

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 the runs Jerusalem. Yeah. The left side and the right side. So then you knew which side you're on.

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 Yes. But it was still alphabetical because then it kind of broke it down even more but guess

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 but it is just having those those thoughts and considerations on how easy it's going to be for

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 your guests to try and find their name on the table. You obviously want it to be aesthetically

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 pleasing because that's what it's hard. The decor isn't it having the table plan. I love

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 escort tables I'm I quite like that idea. You know I do you quite like that idea and I think it depends

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 on all of them. I think it depends on the guest numbers. I think they work if you've got smaller

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 numbers like they seem really cute ideas where you have like a little flower pot just play on a

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 wall like you know a little herb in and you have your name and then you turn it around and it says

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 you're on table seven. Yeah. Then what would you do have that strictly alphabetical order?

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 Yeah. I think if you're having escort you have it alphabetical. I'm appeals to my OCD needs.

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 Yeah. I would definitely have to have it alphabetical. I mean I've done it before where you have like name

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 cards. Yeah. But I would just think if you're going to do an escort table do something a bit exciting.

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 Yeah. But I guess if you're having if you're having 160 guests you won't necessarily want 160

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 planets but it's a really nice way to include some personality like on all of books where you know

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 everyone gets a vintage book from a charity shop and on the spine it's got your name and your

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 place you know yeah you know something different. I did um it was a style shoot and that it

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 wouldn't necessarily work on a big scale but if you're having an intimate dinner we had hand carved

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 eggs as you're looking at me blank as an escort eggs. How does that work? So there's fabulous lady

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 hatchfully yours and she creates hand carved eggs so they're real eggs and she extracts the middle

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 from them and she coves them. What you've used to do as a child but you blow the oak out? Yeah I think

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 yeah that's a bit like that but she creates my beautiful intricate designs like she etches into

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 them details designs adds like pearls finishes paints them and we did it for the shoot where they were

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 on clear little stands on each guest because it was only a shoot we had about 18. Each guest had

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 their egg and they had a little hook at the top and then we had a kligger for Charlotte from

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 blissfully yours created little name places so you had dandling in the middle of your egg was your name

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 and on the back it said what table you're on and I just think they were displayed on a beautiful

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 like bureau and I just think if you're planning a smaller guest camp you can do something a bit more

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 interesting like that and then obviously that's the key to say then there was beautiful things. What's

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 the good point to get your favours in those? Yes yeah or another good way is to use your place names

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 as well but but yeah I think escot tables you know you can do a bit more personality or I don't know

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 if you're Harry Potter fan you could have a wand or like a champagne wall. Yes yeah the ribbons

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 tied around really simple but so then you take your toasting drink to the table your ribbons says

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 your name in your way you're sat and then you've got your glass as well and I'm just going to

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 do your glass and I think there's loads of different ways to include it and that's the fun part

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 but you need to do the hard part first yes and it is hard so don't think you're going to manage it

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 in all of our 15 minutes together it's going to be an evening in front of the telly with a couple

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 well maybe not the telly but it's up with glass of wine not too many you know you take away

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 yes make an occasion of it yeah and have some fun whilst you're doing it because it can really

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 yeah it's a big job and it is only a job that you can do no one can do this for you even as

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 planners we can't do it because we don't know the intricacies of everyone's like family relationships

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 no we did have our tip for the episode but it's such a good tip that we have said it about three

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 to nine minutes and felt the episode so I am going to reiterate it because I think it is worth

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 reiterating and that is come back to it have a go set some time aside there's much as you can but if

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 you're getting a headache you're knocking heads over it because you just can't agree on something

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 just take a breather start this process as soon as you've got your RSVPs back

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 give yourself plenty of time the majority of you are RSVPs back so you don't have to wait for

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 all your guests you can just start the ball rolling and then slot other people in as they

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 it is a working document so you know you could get the majority of it done beforehand but we have

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 mentioned that numerous times throughout the episode because it's so important it is important

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 to know that just come back to it yeah exactly you've got tons of time most of your caterers won't

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 need to know until four weeks out and you tend to have your RSVPs in a while before that exactly

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 with love yes and remember to listen to the wedding lounge podcast in the back round whilst you're

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 tackling your decent man for more tips next week we will be talking about just the wedding breakfast

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 in general won't we we are indeed have a good week see you then bye