Welcome back to the Wedding Lounge podcast. This week, it's a relatively short episode.
You know, we like to keep it to the point when it's not talking about food or we're on a rant.
But today, we just wanted to discuss quite a big issue. I think that happens.
Couples and planning, they're wedding. And just to make you realise that you're not alone.
So today, we are talking about decision for the exhaustion you feel when planning a wedding.
And you just have to make so many of these decisions. Because let's face it, whether you've got
a humongous budget or a small budget, whether you're having 20 people or 300 people,
there are a lot of decisions that need to be made. Yeah, 100%. And I think the key is to tackle them
one at a time. Yes. And not to kind of tackle everything all in one go.
When we spoke to Kelly from Creative Brides, she, if you were saying about having like
how a wedding planning session. Yes. So finding that time, it's just three hours where you sit down
and then it's worth just highlighting a few topics you want to discuss within that time
and keeping it at that. Yeah. It's to reduce the amount of time that you are spent
worrying and thinking about everything. I think the real issue is the fact that we have
access to so much more, so many options that even when I got married, I know obviously the internet
was a thing back in 2018. But I just, I don't remember trawling the internet so much.
There were a lot more physical wedding magazines that you picked up at venues or
locally. Yeah. And I feel like you looked at those, maybe spoke to people rather than trawling
the internet and just googling things and Instagram. And I think there are so many places where
you can find and research supplies that it becomes too much. Totally overwhelming. I find with
my couples when I'm sourcing supplies for them, I put forward the maximum of three options to them.
And I think if you are planning and you are doing the research yourself, you need to stop at some
point as well. Find five, maybe, or three that you really like, speak to those people that
quotes from those people. And then if you don't like any of those, go back to the drawing board.
You cannot keep going through, but if I miss something, what if I miss something? That just isn't
going to help. It's just going to wear you down. And when you think about doing for every single
supplier, it's just going to be exhausting. I think with suppliers like caterers, band and photographer,
and videographer, they're a clear sort of styles that you could start your research down.
So before you start researching, think about what sort of music you want. And then focus your
search on that type of music. Think about what style of food service or actual cuisine you want
served. And then Google, look for caterers who fit that and then start your research. Similarly,
photography, videography style. Listen to the episodes you've had with Luke Bachelor Productions
and Katie Rogers photography. They really give you an insight into how to choose your photographer
and videographer based on the sort of edit you want and the impact that they have during the
actual day. I think as well, it's important to set yourselves a timeline as well. So rather than
it being like suddenly, we need to put all the suppliers, concentrate, break it down. So write down
all the suppliers that you need and then decide, write on the first week of the month, we're going to
look at our venue, our caterer and our bar. Yes. Don't look at any others. Exactly. And then three
weeks later, when you sit down and you decide to look back into your wedding party again, look into
your next ones. Yes. And just go through them methodically and think about the order of importance
and the impact they will have on your day and the time you need to because the other thing that
happens is as a supplier, we've got ghosted a lot. Yes. And I think that is because people are
contacting and contacting and contacting many people. They run out of, they can't keep track of
who you're spoken to, who they haven't spoken. Yeah. So it's best to kind of like pull yourself back
and just limit yourself, definitely. And I think like you said, about having set planning time,
that decision doesn't necessarily need to be made that evening. You know, some I'm very
decisive. My husband needs a bit more time to think things through. So it would be good to have that
session where you're both aware of what your sort of roles are. And if you haven't made a decision
at the end of that session, say, right, we'll just have a quick catch up. Like Sunday evening,
you've got the weekend kind of think about it, you know, maybe just have a little scroll in bed or
something and look, but we'll come back and try and form a decision then because you need to give
yourself deadlines. I, yeah, I was the worst at university the night before a deadline was due and
I'm not a night person. I'll be in the library doing it because I'd have all this time that I would put
it off. If you give yourself deadlines, yeah, then it helps. And like Natasha said, there are
supplies that you need to put earlier on in the process because of the importance, you know,
your venue or marquee, your catering, your bar, then you want to think about like videographer,
photographer, florist, musicians like entertainment, dress, dress needs a long lead time. But there are
other suppliers who you won't need to think about straight away, especially if you have a long
long engagement or a long time that you're planning your wedding. Yeah. And I just think that you can
utilize that time. And that was quite a pre-COVID thing as well as you wouldn't necessarily hear from
couples until they were ready to book. Whereas just after COVID, it was suddenly a, we need to book
everything so that everyone is locked in and actually that isn't necessarily right. And things might
change. Yes. Yeah. People, if you're spending two, three years planning a wedding, like we said in
a recent episode in our Q&A session, how long, when do you need to start planning? We said that actually,
if you only have six months, you will make the decisions. If you're planning to be saving and
getting married a lot further in the distance, set a date when you're starting your planning,
and then work from there. Basically, you know, if you've got a good length of time to plan,
you, you, you will have space in between sorting out supplies. Yeah. But just take things in chronological
order and take your time and give yourself a break as well. I think that's really important to remember,
is not every decision needs to be made immediately now. It's okay. Keep your supplies updated. Like,
if you're contacted three caterers and you're still trying to work through it, email them and say,
look, we're still deciding. We're still talking about it. Don't overwhelm yourself. No, exactly,
because it is overwhelming. If you think about the sheer number of supplies that are involved on
a wedding day, if you're getting married at a venue that may cover catering and bar, linen,
crockery, chair height, if you're getting married in a marquee or a dry high venue, you're going to have
a lot more supplies to select from. And I know you've said it before with photography and videography,
is if you pick a photographer you like, see which videographers they've worked with, they work well
with, they recommend. I mean, recommendations are the best way to go. It saves a lot of research.
I mean, if you haven't got a planner who's doing the research for you, ask friends and family,
even if you don't want the exact band that someone had, you go actually, we've really liked how they
had that slow band of an evening. So we want that slow band. So that's after your research done,
you know you're focusing on slow band. It's just trying not to get overwhelmed. And it is tricky.
You're bombarded with planning timeline templates. Wedding related stuff will be popping up on
Instagram the whole time. You'll have a Pinterest board with hundreds of pins on, you'll have relatives
saying, oh, have you done this or have you thought about your florist or is auntie
lessening going to make the cake? And you've got all these people who want to know at the end of the
day, it's about you to your decisions and coming to those decisions in a way that works
for you without feeling pressure. So I think to sum it up, you need to have a clear plan. Yes.
You need to break it down into segments and to not look too wide.
Tackle little and often. Yeah, exactly. A little bit at a time.
Keep your, we've contacted people like keep your options to a minimum. So just help you reduce that
decision fatigue. Yeah. Otherwise, it does just become overwhelming. You'll swamp to 10 quotes from
photographers, which if you're looking at a photographer within a certain start, the quotes are
only going to be ever so slightly different. Yes. Yeah. You need to base it off conversations with
them. There's only so much time that you can spend talking to people. Yes. I mean, we even said with
Luke about looking at videography, about looking at how they've worked in different lights, different
venues, different settings. If you're doing that research, you can't do that with 10 different
videographers. If you're really researching properly, you need to narrow down and then focus your
research and do a bit more intense research. I'm a big believer of going with your gut as well.
You know, go with your gut. Sometimes you overthink things and whilst you do want to consider
your suppliers, if you really gel with someone and you always like to their work, that someone else
is very similar and you're like, "No, it's picking." I've seen couples with their nitpicking
between makeup artists. I've sat there with couples where we're scrolling through someone's
Instagram, literally going, "Oh, but that lipstick's a bit bright red. They did that there." And I said,
"Bride my mouth for that." You know, you can... You need to like that. Yeah, you can nitpick too
much. And I think that's the point is you just have to get the feel for someone like them and trust
them. Exactly. Look at their reviews. Yes. Look at their whole portfolios. Overall, don't pick up on
the small money details like lipstick colour, because that will be the choice of that bride. Yeah.
And just be mindful of people's social media, because it's just a small insight into what they do.
And yeah, and have carefully curated insight. Yeah. But I think the main thing just from this
little episode is just remember that you're not alone and it can be overwhelming. Yeah.
Just got to break it down like Natasha says and take it step by step. Yeah. And I think dedicating
that time really, really helps trying to do it around your work on your lunch break. Yeah.
Yeah. It's tricky. Yeah. So just make sure you set aside time who be able to
dedicate to your wedding planning. And just to finish off like with what Kelly said the other week,
also set aside time for you, so that not the only time you've got together isn't just thinking
about weddings because you're more than just your wedding. You're a couple. You've got to sustain a
marriage. Yes, one time or one wedding weekend. Yeah, remember what it's all about. Exactly.
I think people get swept up in that, don't they? In trying to make everything perfect. And actually
it wants to be a day of celebration, not a day of stress. Exactly.
Brilliant. Next week we are joined by a lovely guest, a new guest I believe. Yeah.
from Blackbird Entertainment. See you then! Bye!