1 00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:30,585 Welcome back to the Wedding Lounge podcast. This week, it's a relatively short episode. 2 00:00:30,585 --> 00:00:38,505 You know, we like to keep it to the point when it's not talking about food or we're on a rant. 3 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:43,785 But today, we just wanted to discuss quite a big issue. I think that happens. 4 00:00:43,785 --> 00:00:48,185 Couples and planning, they're wedding. And just to make you realise that you're not alone. 5 00:00:48,185 --> 00:00:54,665 So today, we are talking about decision for the exhaustion you feel when planning a wedding. 6 00:00:54,665 --> 00:00:59,865 And you just have to make so many of these decisions. Because let's face it, whether you've got 7 00:00:59,865 --> 00:01:04,985 a humongous budget or a small budget, whether you're having 20 people or 300 people, 8 00:01:04,985 --> 00:01:11,225 there are a lot of decisions that need to be made. Yeah, 100%. And I think the key is to tackle them 9 00:01:11,225 --> 00:01:15,385 one at a time. Yes. And not to kind of tackle everything all in one go. 10 00:01:15,385 --> 00:01:20,265 When we spoke to Kelly from Creative Brides, she, if you were saying about having like 11 00:01:20,265 --> 00:01:26,665 how a wedding planning session. Yes. So finding that time, it's just three hours where you sit down 12 00:01:26,665 --> 00:01:31,305 and then it's worth just highlighting a few topics you want to discuss within that time 13 00:01:31,305 --> 00:01:36,105 and keeping it at that. Yeah. It's to reduce the amount of time that you are spent 14 00:01:36,105 --> 00:01:41,785 worrying and thinking about everything. I think the real issue is the fact that we have 15 00:01:41,785 --> 00:01:47,145 access to so much more, so many options that even when I got married, I know obviously the internet 16 00:01:47,145 --> 00:01:52,025 was a thing back in 2018. But I just, I don't remember trawling the internet so much. 17 00:01:52,025 --> 00:01:56,825 There were a lot more physical wedding magazines that you picked up at venues or 18 00:01:56,825 --> 00:02:03,465 locally. Yeah. And I feel like you looked at those, maybe spoke to people rather than trawling 19 00:02:03,465 --> 00:02:07,545 the internet and just googling things and Instagram. And I think there are so many places where 20 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:13,705 you can find and research supplies that it becomes too much. Totally overwhelming. I find with 21 00:02:13,705 --> 00:02:20,665 my couples when I'm sourcing supplies for them, I put forward the maximum of three options to them. 22 00:02:20,665 --> 00:02:25,465 And I think if you are planning and you are doing the research yourself, you need to stop at some 23 00:02:25,465 --> 00:02:32,345 point as well. Find five, maybe, or three that you really like, speak to those people that 24 00:02:32,345 --> 00:02:37,225 quotes from those people. And then if you don't like any of those, go back to the drawing board. 25 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:42,105 You cannot keep going through, but if I miss something, what if I miss something? That just isn't 26 00:02:42,105 --> 00:02:46,585 going to help. It's just going to wear you down. And when you think about doing for every single 27 00:02:46,585 --> 00:02:55,065 supplier, it's just going to be exhausting. I think with suppliers like caterers, band and photographer, 28 00:02:55,065 --> 00:03:01,225 and videographer, they're a clear sort of styles that you could start your research down. 29 00:03:01,225 --> 00:03:06,585 So before you start researching, think about what sort of music you want. And then focus your 30 00:03:06,585 --> 00:03:12,745 search on that type of music. Think about what style of food service or actual cuisine you want 31 00:03:12,745 --> 00:03:19,705 served. And then Google, look for caterers who fit that and then start your research. Similarly, 32 00:03:19,705 --> 00:03:24,665 photography, videography style. Listen to the episodes you've had with Luke Bachelor Productions 33 00:03:24,665 --> 00:03:30,825 and Katie Rogers photography. They really give you an insight into how to choose your photographer 34 00:03:30,825 --> 00:03:36,265 and videographer based on the sort of edit you want and the impact that they have during the 35 00:03:36,265 --> 00:03:42,825 actual day. I think as well, it's important to set yourselves a timeline as well. So rather than 36 00:03:42,825 --> 00:03:50,265 it being like suddenly, we need to put all the suppliers, concentrate, break it down. So write down 37 00:03:50,265 --> 00:03:56,265 all the suppliers that you need and then decide, write on the first week of the month, we're going to 38 00:03:56,265 --> 00:04:02,185 look at our venue, our caterer and our bar. Yes. Don't look at any others. Exactly. And then three 39 00:04:02,185 --> 00:04:07,385 weeks later, when you sit down and you decide to look back into your wedding party again, look into 40 00:04:07,385 --> 00:04:13,545 your next ones. Yes. And just go through them methodically and think about the order of importance 41 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:18,825 and the impact they will have on your day and the time you need to because the other thing that 42 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:24,425 happens is as a supplier, we've got ghosted a lot. Yes. And I think that is because people are 43 00:04:24,425 --> 00:04:29,865 contacting and contacting and contacting many people. They run out of, they can't keep track of 44 00:04:29,865 --> 00:04:34,985 who you're spoken to, who they haven't spoken. Yeah. So it's best to kind of like pull yourself back 45 00:04:34,985 --> 00:04:40,665 and just limit yourself, definitely. And I think like you said, about having set planning time, 46 00:04:40,665 --> 00:04:46,025 that decision doesn't necessarily need to be made that evening. You know, some I'm very 47 00:04:46,025 --> 00:04:51,385 decisive. My husband needs a bit more time to think things through. So it would be good to have that 48 00:04:51,385 --> 00:04:56,905 session where you're both aware of what your sort of roles are. And if you haven't made a decision 49 00:04:56,905 --> 00:05:02,585 at the end of that session, say, right, we'll just have a quick catch up. Like Sunday evening, 50 00:05:02,585 --> 00:05:05,865 you've got the weekend kind of think about it, you know, maybe just have a little scroll in bed or 51 00:05:05,865 --> 00:05:11,705 something and look, but we'll come back and try and form a decision then because you need to give 52 00:05:11,705 --> 00:05:17,785 yourself deadlines. I, yeah, I was the worst at university the night before a deadline was due and 53 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:21,465 I'm not a night person. I'll be in the library doing it because I'd have all this time that I would put 54 00:05:21,465 --> 00:05:28,985 it off. If you give yourself deadlines, yeah, then it helps. And like Natasha said, there are 55 00:05:28,985 --> 00:05:32,985 supplies that you need to put earlier on in the process because of the importance, you know, 56 00:05:32,985 --> 00:05:38,025 your venue or marquee, your catering, your bar, then you want to think about like videographer, 57 00:05:38,025 --> 00:05:46,265 photographer, florist, musicians like entertainment, dress, dress needs a long lead time. But there are 58 00:05:46,265 --> 00:05:51,065 other suppliers who you won't need to think about straight away, especially if you have a long 59 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:55,945 long engagement or a long time that you're planning your wedding. Yeah. And I just think that you can 60 00:05:55,945 --> 00:06:02,185 utilize that time. And that was quite a pre-COVID thing as well as you wouldn't necessarily hear from 61 00:06:02,185 --> 00:06:08,665 couples until they were ready to book. Whereas just after COVID, it was suddenly a, we need to book 62 00:06:08,665 --> 00:06:17,145 everything so that everyone is locked in and actually that isn't necessarily right. And things might 63 00:06:17,145 --> 00:06:22,265 change. Yes. Yeah. People, if you're spending two, three years planning a wedding, like we said in 64 00:06:22,265 --> 00:06:29,785 a recent episode in our Q&A session, how long, when do you need to start planning? We said that actually, 65 00:06:29,785 --> 00:06:36,745 if you only have six months, you will make the decisions. If you're planning to be saving and 66 00:06:36,745 --> 00:06:40,425 getting married a lot further in the distance, set a date when you're starting your planning, 67 00:06:40,425 --> 00:06:46,825 and then work from there. Basically, you know, if you've got a good length of time to plan, 68 00:06:46,825 --> 00:06:53,785 you, you, you will have space in between sorting out supplies. Yeah. But just take things in chronological 69 00:06:53,785 --> 00:06:59,625 order and take your time and give yourself a break as well. I think that's really important to remember, 70 00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:04,825 is not every decision needs to be made immediately now. It's okay. Keep your supplies updated. Like, 71 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:09,145 if you're contacted three caterers and you're still trying to work through it, email them and say, 72 00:07:09,145 --> 00:07:14,905 look, we're still deciding. We're still talking about it. Don't overwhelm yourself. No, exactly, 73 00:07:14,905 --> 00:07:19,545 because it is overwhelming. If you think about the sheer number of supplies that are involved on 74 00:07:19,545 --> 00:07:25,225 a wedding day, if you're getting married at a venue that may cover catering and bar, linen, 75 00:07:25,225 --> 00:07:29,705 crockery, chair height, if you're getting married in a marquee or a dry high venue, you're going to have 76 00:07:29,705 --> 00:07:35,625 a lot more supplies to select from. And I know you've said it before with photography and videography, 77 00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:40,585 is if you pick a photographer you like, see which videographers they've worked with, they work well 78 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:46,505 with, they recommend. I mean, recommendations are the best way to go. It saves a lot of research. 79 00:07:46,505 --> 00:07:50,905 I mean, if you haven't got a planner who's doing the research for you, ask friends and family, 80 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:55,705 even if you don't want the exact band that someone had, you go actually, we've really liked how they 81 00:07:55,705 --> 00:08:01,065 had that slow band of an evening. So we want that slow band. So that's after your research done, 82 00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:06,345 you know you're focusing on slow band. It's just trying not to get overwhelmed. And it is tricky. 83 00:08:06,345 --> 00:08:12,345 You're bombarded with planning timeline templates. Wedding related stuff will be popping up on 84 00:08:12,345 --> 00:08:17,945 Instagram the whole time. You'll have a Pinterest board with hundreds of pins on, you'll have relatives 85 00:08:17,945 --> 00:08:22,265 saying, oh, have you done this or have you thought about your florist or is auntie 86 00:08:22,265 --> 00:08:27,065 lessening going to make the cake? And you've got all these people who want to know at the end of the 87 00:08:27,065 --> 00:08:32,905 day, it's about you to your decisions and coming to those decisions in a way that works 88 00:08:32,905 --> 00:08:40,985 for you without feeling pressure. So I think to sum it up, you need to have a clear plan. Yes. 89 00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:46,025 You need to break it down into segments and to not look too wide. 90 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:50,585 Tackle little and often. Yeah, exactly. A little bit at a time. 91 00:08:50,585 --> 00:08:58,745 Keep your, we've contacted people like keep your options to a minimum. So just help you reduce that 92 00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:04,025 decision fatigue. Yeah. Otherwise, it does just become overwhelming. You'll swamp to 10 quotes from 93 00:09:04,025 --> 00:09:08,665 photographers, which if you're looking at a photographer within a certain start, the quotes are 94 00:09:08,665 --> 00:09:12,585 only going to be ever so slightly different. Yes. Yeah. You need to base it off conversations with 95 00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:16,745 them. There's only so much time that you can spend talking to people. Yes. I mean, we even said with 96 00:09:16,745 --> 00:09:21,465 Luke about looking at videography, about looking at how they've worked in different lights, different 97 00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:26,745 venues, different settings. If you're doing that research, you can't do that with 10 different 98 00:09:26,745 --> 00:09:33,065 videographers. If you're really researching properly, you need to narrow down and then focus your 99 00:09:33,065 --> 00:09:37,865 research and do a bit more intense research. I'm a big believer of going with your gut as well. 100 00:09:37,865 --> 00:09:43,945 You know, go with your gut. Sometimes you overthink things and whilst you do want to consider 101 00:09:43,945 --> 00:09:50,505 your suppliers, if you really gel with someone and you always like to their work, that someone else 102 00:09:50,505 --> 00:09:54,505 is very similar and you're like, "No, it's picking." I've seen couples with their nitpicking 103 00:09:54,505 --> 00:09:58,825 between makeup artists. I've sat there with couples where we're scrolling through someone's 104 00:09:58,825 --> 00:10:03,625 Instagram, literally going, "Oh, but that lipstick's a bit bright red. They did that there." And I said, 105 00:10:03,625 --> 00:10:09,625 "Bride my mouth for that." You know, you can... You need to like that. Yeah, you can nitpick too 106 00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:14,585 much. And I think that's the point is you just have to get the feel for someone like them and trust 107 00:10:14,585 --> 00:10:20,825 them. Exactly. Look at their reviews. Yes. Look at their whole portfolios. Overall, don't pick up on 108 00:10:20,825 --> 00:10:25,865 the small money details like lipstick colour, because that will be the choice of that bride. Yeah. 109 00:10:25,865 --> 00:10:31,785 And just be mindful of people's social media, because it's just a small insight into what they do. 110 00:10:31,785 --> 00:10:37,625 And yeah, and have carefully curated insight. Yeah. But I think the main thing just from this 111 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:43,545 little episode is just remember that you're not alone and it can be overwhelming. Yeah. 112 00:10:43,545 --> 00:10:48,905 Just got to break it down like Natasha says and take it step by step. Yeah. And I think dedicating 113 00:10:48,905 --> 00:10:53,865 that time really, really helps trying to do it around your work on your lunch break. Yeah. 114 00:10:53,865 --> 00:11:00,585 Yeah. It's tricky. Yeah. So just make sure you set aside time who be able to 115 00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:05,865 dedicate to your wedding planning. And just to finish off like with what Kelly said the other week, 116 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:11,305 also set aside time for you, so that not the only time you've got together isn't just thinking 117 00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:15,705 about weddings because you're more than just your wedding. You're a couple. You've got to sustain a 118 00:11:15,705 --> 00:11:20,505 marriage. Yes, one time or one wedding weekend. Yeah, remember what it's all about. Exactly. 119 00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:25,225 I think people get swept up in that, don't they? In trying to make everything perfect. And actually 120 00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:28,985 it wants to be a day of celebration, not a day of stress. Exactly. 121 00:11:28,985 --> 00:11:36,585 Brilliant. Next week we are joined by a lovely guest, a new guest I believe. Yeah. 122 00:11:36,585 --> 00:11:40,166 from Blackbird Entertainment. See you then! Bye!