Have you ever thought about creating a mantra? I guess I haven't really thought about it until the State Mothers of the years shared their mantras. Stay tuned with me today and find out what they have to share.

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Thank you for joining me at the American Mother's Mom to Mom podcast. I am your host, Deanne Taylor, and welcome. Have you ever come up with the word or phrase it inspires you or motivate you? I have had some opportunity to attend classes and to create personal affirmations, and those have been helpful to complete a project.

I hadn't even really thought about how many mantras or sayings I used in my life growing up with my family. A mantra is the same thing as a short statement or a positive affirmation. It's a phrase that you can say to yourself to help motivate you or boost your self-confidence or self-esteem. The purpose of a mantra is to release the negative feelings or the stress that you might be feeling at the time.

Actually a mantra can be a lot of things. It can be a word, it can be a phrase, it can be an affirmation. Anything that means something to you. It's your mantra. You make it your own. Maybe you recognize some of the examples that I know you've heard. You can do anything you set your mind to. The only way to fail is to give up, and follow your heart.

You get the idea. Earlier this year, several of the 2023 State Mothers of the Year were asked this question during an interview. What is your personal or family mantra? The responses were all different, And even though many of them touched on the same areas of personal life or family life, you might be inspired by some of the mantras that you hear today, or you might want to adapt something you hear to something that's more personal and helpful for you.

Each of our guests will give her full name and which state she is from. Our first four state mothers share their mantras that guide their parenting and the relationships with their children. We'll be hearing from Jenny, Melissa, Aisha, and Joy.

Okay. I am Jenny Cullumber and I am Mother of the Year for California. I would say that my parenting mantra is that the parent-child relationship needs to be the number one in their lives. So as far as when something amazing happens, or someone's heartbroken moments or whatever, I wanna be the first phone call. I wanna be the person that my kids turn to, because if they don't have that with you, they're gonna turn to a peer or someone else. My relationship with my children is really important to me. We spend a lot of time talking and communicating, and I really hope that that parent-child relationship is the most important one in their lives.

Hi, my name is Melissa Schmaltz and I'm from North Dakota. I go back to so much of how I was raised. I know not everybody has had the ability to have a good life growing up or positive role models and parents and stuff like that. But, oh man, my parents are just like, they're amazing. And so just to be able to pass on, to do as I was taught kind of thing. Because I was taught well, and I just think for me it's like this amazing ability that I was given from my parents that I have to hold and pass on to my own kids. You talked about, the compassion piece of it. Because I just want them to be really good, really good humans, really good kids. Teenagers, be compassionate, be kind and respectful to others.

I am Aisha Krista Atkinson, and I'm representing the Lone Star State of Texas. I would just, you just love. Love who he is now, and love who he's going to become later. I think we all have this vision of what we want our children to become one day. My dreams were he's gonna be a football player for Texas A&M, and he's gonna go into engineering and he's just gonna be this phenomenal athlete with this amazing mind that's going to contribute to Society. I had it all planned out. And when Aries was born and we learned that he had hydrocephalus and then later on cerebral palsy, epilepsy, autism. As these things, uh, these so-called challenges kind of came into our lives, I learned to let go of that fantasy and learn to live in the reality of who is my son and what are his gifts? What is it that he can contribute to society? Because everything that he gives is a gift. Just the fact that he's here is a gift alone. And so I have learned to love him for who he is now and who he will become no matter what. That's my mantra.

This is Joy Kimara. I'm from Hawaii. Parenting mantra, I'm gonna say to make the most of every moment is my mantra. What I realized was that, everybody tells you this, but when it really hits you, it's kind of surprising when you're going through it and the kids are young. You think, oh my goodness, I'm so tired. How am I gonna get through this? And then in a blink of an eye, they're grown up and they're going off on their own. And what I learned is that There's a fine line when it comes to love between floating on and letting go, and I had to experience that with letting my daughter go away to college. So, I have to keep reminding myself even when I'm tired, I still have one more son and he depends on me. And I have to make the most of, every moment, even though I'm tired, just enjoy it. Just enjoy the ride because the ride, I mean, it's never over, but my time with them or they need me and, you know, the older they get the less they need you. So I just have to really enjoy it.

These four mantras emphasize the importance of being there for your children to nurture and help build solid family relationships.

It's important that your children know they can depend on you. A statement we had in our family was, get the job done. This applied to homework, housework, picking up their toys, whatever. Just get the job done. Just do it. We tried to help them learn that if they have an assignment, it was their responsibility to get it done and to complete the task.

We also tried to help them see if they did it right away, they'd have more time to play or do whatever they wanted, and it wouldn't have to be, remember, get the job done. Truth be told, I wasn't sure how well they'd learned that as they were growing up. You know, they never wanna do what they're supposed to be doing. But I'm happy to report.

I am very impressed at how well they have as adults completed their tasks and they're still teaching the same mantra to their children. So mothers, there is hope. Krystal, Courtney and Catie share their thoughts on how to help children get through difficult times.

Hi everyone. My name is Krystal Sherrod and I am Mother of the Year for the state of Colorado. Ooh. I believe this mantra goes with everything that's happened in my life from the day I was born was sometimes you have to go through the darkness to appreciate the light. When you're just given everything, everything always works out for you, sometimes you forget how to treat it with respect and how grateful you are, but when you hit rock bottom in your life, And you have to climb back out.

When you do see that light, like above, you appreciate it a lot more. You realize that life is too precious and that you want to achieve everything. You never wanna give up. And there are days that even with me still that gets me down and sometimes I think I'm not good enough. But then I look at my son and I realize, well, I am because I'm his role model and I cannot be weak for him. I don't want him to see that. Cuz then if he sees me trying to give up, then he'll use that as an excuse. And I never want him to use that as an excuse. My mama didn't do it with me and she had a rough time. Like, oh my gosh, she deserves to be Mother of the year. Truthfully too. She is my everything and I wouldn't be here without her.

So I'm Courtney Mais, I am from Michigan. I am the 2023 Michigan Mother of the Year. Oh man. I think a lot of the time I say this too shall pass. Cuz every time I think of when everything just gets so overwhelming and you're just battling that day today, just trying to get through Monday to Friday, get to the weekend. I always remember that I'm not the only one that's dealing with this right now, and I'm like, it's gonna pass. I think, all the time, this is, exactly who I was as a kid. And I was like, my mom dealt with it. She dealt with me and now I'm getting product of the own example. I think a lot of the time I say that this too shall pass. And a lot of time people think that it came from the Bible and then it actually wasn't from the Bible and everyone just kind of like, thinks it's like scripture. Um, but I think that's like one of the ones that I say a lot, um, in that I try to say to a lot of my single mom friends, I'm like, it's okay. This too shall pass. We all go through it and we're all doing it together. Mm-hmm. And just like remembering and reminding all these people that, you know, you're not doing it alone all the time is, I think, important.

I'm Catie Lumpkin and I'm from Alabama. My biggest thing is just repenting before my kids, because I want them to see that they're gonna mess up and the place where they will flourish and grow the most and build true authentic relationships with other people is when they're quick to repent and ask for forgiveness and then to hope and, and a growing from that. And that's been a long journey. You kind of learn that in relationships, whether it's your first college roommate or marriage, but then continually. We're in a unique place now cause we have a kindergartner, but then I have my freshman in college as well as a freshman in high school, and making sure I've built that relationship of vulnerability so that as my children leave, We're parents so much longer to adults than we are children, you know, Lord willing. And I want us to have that pure relationship where we're pouring into each other's lives. And that takes vulnerability on my part throughout those childhood years, if that makes sense.

I really like the thoughts these moms shared. It's important to let our children understand that we as parents and adults do have hard times, and we have to have ways to get through those.

We shouldn't hide it if we make a mistake because we show our children that we aren't perfect. And that we have to use techniques and skills to help ourselves move forward and get through to where we want to be. Mothers are known worldwide for supporting their children no matter what. Have you ever been called a Mama bear? In case you're wondering, that isn't a bad thing. That's what mothers are for to protect their children, but is also what is the best way to support your children. Lisa and Meg have some ideas.

Hi, my name is Lisa Newell and I have been selected the 2023 Mother of the Year for the State of Maine. So I would stand behind the underdog. I would fight for them, advocate for them. Sometimes no is not an answer for me. The only time is if I've exhausted every avenue. So I guess I would say no is not an answer. If there's a way to explore something in a gray area, everything's not black and white. But I would definitely explore the gray area to make sure that it was in their favor, not against them. You know, not doing anything illegally or unethically or honestly, but if there was that small chance that you could do something, I would explore it. So, yeah, I would say I'm a bulldog as far as that goes. Full forward. No stopping anything. Unless it's beyond my capabilities and then I have to reach out to someone else to help me out, you know, navigate through. I would say that would be my mantra, I guess. That and Just be kind. that's always been my thing is I am kind to people and trust me, I've run across people who have tested my every essence of patience, but I still treat them the same way. Whether they were upset with me and they got me upset, I would still, if they asked me for help, I would still help 'em. And I still do today.

I am Megg Thompson, and I am the mother of the year from New Hampshire. Be loud. I have a lot of moms that say, oh my gosh, they just did this with my kid, or, I don't agree with this, or I need help with this. Okay, who do we have to talk to? What kind of information do you need to support you? What kind of other moms do you need to come with you? Because me, by myself looks like Mama Bear, but me with you and maybe somebody else. Now we have three. And we all believe the same thing and we're going in together. So I think I am naturally loud. I am comfortable in being loud. But we need to be loud for our kids. So my hashtag on all my social media is be loud for love. You can't go wrong with love ever. When are you ever gonna be loud for another human being? It's when you're a mom almost every time. Like I'll be mama bear for my kid. Always. If you have seven kids, you're gonna be mama bear for all seven of your kids. My parent mantra is be loud.

Did you get any ideas from Lisa and Megg about how to help your children? That does. Okay. Maybe their techniques are different from how you would do it, but it is important to help our children when necessary. There are times they need to work it out on their own, and we can support them through that and give them encouragement, but sometimes they have to learn to resolve their own issues. The Mama Bear in us might wanna step forward, but we need to allow our children that opportunity to grow themselves. Next we have Julie and Deborah, and they have some short but powerful mantras.

Hi, I'm Julie Cangelosi from Washington DC. Let go. You know, there are moments, right? Like we all have those moments, but my kids are not perfect. I'm not perfect, right? No one's perfect, but there's all those moments where they may not be doing something that you would really be happy about at that moment or having, whether it's having a tantrum because they're having this other need that they need, or the house is messy. I'm sure if I flip my camera over into the living room, you will see the piles of laundry that I'm still in the middle of folding, but you know what? You have to let go. It's OK to have those messy moments. It's because those messy moments, I'm able to be present with them and I fold laundry when they sleep. It's okay. So I have learned that I have to just let go. And I always joke saying I'm A minus personality, not an A personality because don't ever wanna really admit it, but sometimes you just have to let go.

I'm Deborah Earl and I'm representing Nevada as Mother of the year in 2023. I would say mine would be focus on the good. And especially in our times of challenge and we all have those every day, it's really easy to get down on ourselves and feel inadequate. But I think when we focus on the good we end up seeing blessings and advantages in our lives that maybe we wouldn't have. So I think just really being positive in that way is something I try to do.

I bet we can all adopt either one of these mantras. I prefer looking for the good in most everything, and everyone I meet. Usually I'm not disappointed. On this podcast, we have often emphasized that you need to love yourself for the wonderful and amazing person that you are. None of us is perfect, so we need to accept that.

So we need to accept the idea of giving ourselves grace as we progress to become better, but not perfect. Remember, it's progress and getting better every day. And sometimes we need a mantra to help us remember that. Think about it. I like the way that Teresa and Kate express this.

I'm Teresa Wright Johnson. I am Georgia Mother of the year for 2023. My parenting mantra is just be you. Just be you. Be authentically you. My other thing about parenting mantra is understanding that they're not your replica; they're their own person. So it goes with just be you. You are more than enough. You are great enough, and you being you is good enough.

My name is Kate Boydston and I'm from New York. So that is something that I put on my personal website. It's a quote that I live by that really touched me going through therapy, was you are able to make yourself your main character in your story. So instead of my setbacks Taking the role of the entire story, it was about me and everything that I did to get to this point. So really being able to take your story and make yourself the main character and decide what your outcome is going to be.

Good counsel. Be yourself and accept yourself as the main character in your life story. You are building your life as you support and elevate those around you. Remember that you are important and have so much to share. Nothing says that you can have only one mantra.

There are many things that we experience during a lifetime. Earlier, I talked about get the job done, one of the mantras we had in our family. When our children were growing, but especially when they're getting to their teenage years and heading out the door and doing activities and whatever, I would always tell 'em, have a great time and remember who you are. Then they'd look back and smile and roll their eyes and go out the door. The full phrase is remember who you are and what you stand for. We didn't have to tell 'em the whole phrase, because they knew the whole thing. This is a way we hoped that they would remember the wonderful qualities that they were developing in their lives that would help them throughout their lives. Honesty, integrity, value who they are as a person, Kindness, consideration of others. Remember who you are and what you stand for. Lynette and Karen both have some very brief mantras, so listen closely or you'll miss them.

Hi, my name is Lynette Lamp and I am the mother of the year for Maryland. Let go and let God.

Hi, my name is Karen Connell and I am representing the state of Wisconsin for 2023. Well, the first thing that came to mind, I'm just gonna go with that, is you can do it.

I hope you've enjoyed our session today on mantras. I think we had some really wonderful ideas from our Mothers of the Year, and maybe you heard one that you can adopt or adapt or be inspired to create one of your own. Your mantra doesn't have to be totally original. Whatever works for you to help you and your family move forward, it's really important. Do you have a personal or family mantra you'd like to share with us in American Mothers and with other mothers across the country? Be sure and engage in our American Mothers Facebook page and share your mantra and how it has helped you or your family.

We love your stories and we hope you feel comfortable sharing them with us to help other mothers as we journey together. Well, take care and I'll see you next time on The American Mother's Mom to Mom podcast.

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