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[00:00:20] Ellie: I think we've all been there. You're using your go-to behavior strategy, maybe proximity, a private redirection or maybe a behavior chart, and the student either ignores it, rolls their eyes, or doubles down.

[00:00:36] Brittany: It is frustrating for sure and it's happening more often. Traditional classroom management tools are no longer effective with some middle school students.

[00:00:47] Ellie: So what do you do when the old systems don't cut it? Welcome to the Teaching Toolbox Podcast. I'm Ellie, and I'm here with my co-host buddy Brittany,

[00:00:56] Brittany: Hello.

[00:00:58] Ellie: and today we're talking about why your tried and true behavior strategies might be falling flat and what you can do instead. We'll cover shifts in student needs and we'll share some practical, compassionate strategies to reset the tone in your classroom.

[00:01:13] Brittany: Well, let's start by acknowledging something. We are definitely not teaching in the same world we were five or even two years ago.

[00:01:24] Things drastically changed after COVID and middle schoolers today are facing a different set of challenges and those change how they respond to behavior systems. So let's take a second and think about what all has changed. There are post pandemic effects. Many students missed out on critical social emotional learning and structure during their formative years. And now they're in middle school, but they may still have the regulatory skills of younger children. There may be some increased trauma and anxiety. Students may be carrying more emotional weight with family instability, mental health concerns, and community stressors, which often show up as defiance, avoidance, or shutdown.

[00:02:21] Ellie: There might also be over exposure to negative reinforcement, like constant reprimands either in school or at home, which can make traditional consequences feel meaningless.

[00:02:32] Some students are used to being in trouble, so some consequences no longer motivate change. Then there's a mistrust of authority. Students might not comply simply because you asked them to. They're more likely to respond to adults they trust, not ones who demand obedience. So some of the tried and true strategies like clip charts, phone calls home, or lunch detention, might feel performative or punitive, primarily if they don't address why the behavior is happening.

[00:03:05] Brittany: So let's talk about what to do when your go-to strategy fails. These ideas aren't flashy, but they are powerful and often underused. So number one, let's shift from compliance to connection. Use short one-on-one conversations outside of discipline moments to build rapport. Something like, Hey, I have noticed you seemed frustrated in class lately.

[00:03:34] Is there something getting in the way for you?

[00:03:37] Look for micro moments of connection. Notice new shoes. Ask about an activity they enjoy. Follow up on something they shared. You know, like

[00:03:48] how was the football game the other night? Did you enjoy it?

[00:03:52] Ellie: Or even like, I love your t-shirt.

[00:03:54] Brittany: Yeah, I love your t-shirt. Did you check out the music awards last night?

[00:03:58] Did you see that dance?

[00:03:59] Once the connection is built, redirections feel less like power struggles and more like support.

[00:04:06] Ellie: All right. A second idea to try is that you might rethink consequences with the idea that they should teach, not necessarily punish. Instead of saying you're staying in for lunch, you could reframe it as let's talk during lunch about what happened and figure out how to avoid it tomorrow. And instead of saying that in front of the whole class, you might wanna catch the student in the hallway or stop by their desk while the other students are working

[00:04:31] so it's not so obvious and it doesn't give them the opportunity to publicly react to that. You can create restorative tasks like apology letters, reflection forms, or helping repair a disrupted classroom environment. If a student disrespects materials, assign a role involving caring for classroom tools, if they're disruptive, let them lead a small part of class with support.

[00:04:57] It could be risky, but it might be worth a try.

[00:05:00] Brittany: You can use co-regulation strategies. Model some calm body language and tone. Even when you don't feel calm, your nervous system impacts theirs. Give students space to regulate. Offer a cool down spot or let them take a short walk before rejoining class. You know, I would give students like a little note to take to a fifth grade teacher.

[00:05:30] To just say like, Hey, how you doing? You know, say hi to Jimmy and then have him bring this note back to me.

[00:05:38] Ellie: Mm-hmm. Make sure you staple the note or tape it

[00:05:42] Brittany: I would tape it together, staple it together, and she would just read it and then send him back. And that would give Jimmy enough time to just calm down and relax.

[00:05:52] Ellie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:05:54] Brittany: and then normalize language around regulation.

[00:05:58] Let's all take a breath. Wanna try a reset before we continue? And if you address it to the whole class, it's not as obvious that someone in particular needs some work.

[00:06:13] Ellie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:06:14] Brittany: And this type of breath work or calming is beneficial as a habit for the entire class. We talked about stress management in episode 57 for both teachers and students, and sometimes the best strategy is just stepping away from the moment entirely.

[00:06:32] Don't escalate. Say we'll talk about this later. That gives you time to think and gives them time to cool off.

[00:06:41] Ellie: And again, when you step away, especially if it's something in front of the whole class, then the class sees that you're not escalating. The class sees that you're stepping away and taking a moment to think rather than the opposite. So you're modeling that and they see that that's something that they can do.

[00:06:58] Brittany: Yes.

[00:06:59] Ellie: So let's move on to preventative moves that can shift the classroom culture long term. And this isn't just about managing behavior, it's about building a classroom culture where students want to be engaged and respectful. Prevention isn't perfect, but it can reduce the moments where nothing seems to work.

[00:07:18] So first off, teach expectations as skills, not as rules. Model and practice what it looks like to participate, transition, ask for help, and disagree respectfully. I don't know about you, but part of our routines in the first week of school was to teach how those things are supposed to look and actually practice them so that they understood what it was supposed to look like.

[00:07:38] It's a skill. It's not a rule, but it's just the way we do things. You can use role play, anchor charts, and even humor to teach the behaviors just like you would with any academic skill. And then revisit and reteach those things, especially after breaks or when the class vibe starts to slip.

[00:07:56] Brittany: And then give students agency and voice. Let them help create classroom norms and reflect on how well the class is living up to them. Use check-ins and pulse surveys, like, what's working for you in this class? What's one thing we could do differently? When students feel heard, they're more likely to respect boundaries that they help set.

[00:08:20] I have some activities to help with these tasks and we'll link them in the show notes.

[00:08:24] Ellie: Oh, awesome. And then recognize progress, especially the quiet kind. Acknowledge some small wins. I saw you pause before reacting today. That was huge. Use private praise to avoid embarrassment, like sticky notes or a quick whisper as they leave the room or a message home. And then spotlight the growth mindset moments.

[00:08:45] You used a strategy instead of blowing up. That's self-control in action. Great job.

[00:08:51] Brittany: And this part matters. Students behave better when they feel like they belong.

[00:08:57] So if we want less defiance, we need to build more community. If you want more about classroom culture. Check out our very first episode establishing a positive classroom culture in your classroom.

[00:09:13] Ellie: That one's still so popular. So when behavior strategies stop working, it doesn't mean we're failing. It means it's time to adapt. These students are complex and so are their needs.

[00:09:24] Brittany: The goal isn't control. It's connection, consistency, and growth. When we stop trying to fix students and start supporting them differently, everything shifts. We hope you've heard some new tools to add to your teaching toolbox. We'd love to hear about you and your students and what you have found that helps even in a small way.

[00:09:50] Ellie: Send us a message and let us know how it's going. Have a great week.

[00:09:54] Brittany: Bye.