Good morning, Mel. Good morning, Bess. How are you today?

I'm good. You've got your cards again. We've both got flowy hair. I hope we've

got my hair down, but we both seem to have quite flowy hair today. Flowy

hair, muted tones, glasses on today because we've

been squirreling away this morning on my

laptop doing all the fun stuff that you

don't like to do. I actually, I just had them on my desk and I

picked them up to move them, and then my hands just instinctively go to

shuffling them. And the cards I have on my desk, these are one of

my daily, almost daily

pulls that I. They give me a really

sharp, sweet, clear

message. Don't have to go interpreting them. I put them

on my altar, and they are Kyle

Gray's raise your vibration cards. And they're really nice.

They just have a little saying on it and some really quirky

artwork. And

when I've just pulled a card, two have come out stuck

together, and they're very

nice. So the first one says, you

are worthy. And it's a

picture of a jug, a yellow

jug on a green, starry background pouring out.

Looks like it's quite a full jug, because it's not, is it? And it

is pouring out this abundance of water, which

kind of looks a bit goddessy. I'm not sure if it's meant to,

has those kind of curvy curves. So I love

that. Now, the message it came with is, the world

is blessed to have you. And it's

a world globe with a sun. Sun

coming up just behind it in a darkened,

starry sky. The

world is blessed to have you, and you are worthy. And

I think that this is such an important message for all

of us, because we often just go through life, right? We just go

through the things and we don't know what we're doing most of the

time. And it can be quite easy

to just think, what's the point? Does anyone care?

Especially when you've got kids and you're like, I must have said three times

this morning, can anyone hear me?

Am I speaking into a void? Hello? And

messages like this just remind you, or remind me anyway,

that the fact that we are here on this earth at this

time, in any moment, right. Is actually a

miracle. Absolutely. Yeah.

If you think of the odds, the odds of

actually your parents meeting

and. They'Re falling and their parents meeting and. Then their

parents meeting and surviving, and then the

whole conception thing, like the actual likelihood of

that, the rights sperm with the right egg at the right time

under the right stars signs and the right

conditions and the right nutrition and the right. And then

actually childbirth and being born and then

actually just being here. Like, the chances of

it are actually really slim. And if you've ever held

a newborn baby in your arms, you know

what a miracle life really is?

The world is blessed to have you. You are worthy. The

fact that you are here and that you're listening to something like

this tells me that you're here for

something great. Yeah, absolutely.

And you're the only one that can do it. And I love

these cards of affirmation because it's a reminder of that.

Like, we forget. Yes. How

amazing we are, how perfect we

are. Imperfect imperfections.

Our perfect imperfections. And yeah, sometimes we need to be reminded of how

worthy we are, how good we are, how amazing we are, how unique

we are, what makes us stand out,

what makes us a nice person,

what makes our quirks, make us who we are thing. And that we

are all worthy and that we are all deserving of nice things and

wonderful things. And people

are blessed to have us in our lives. Lucky them. Lucky

them. Because we do. Sometimes we don't hear that appreciation

goes a long way, doesn't it? But sometimes we do. I think as mums

shouting into the void, we don't always Mother's Day. We've just had Mother's day. And

yes, it's nice to have that day to day. We don't always get that recognition.

We're just, we're going with the flow. We're doing all the things, we're doing all

the hard work. And so sometimes we need to be the one that gives

ourselves those words of affirmation to remind ourselves.

I have on my phone, I have. You are worthy pops up at random

times throughout the day or the year, different things. And it's actually quite

interesting when they do pop up like different messages. It's not all about being worthy,

but sometimes it'll be like time to go to bed or

put your feet up kind of thing. But it's amazing how those messages pop up

at exactly the right time when you want to hear them. So I love that

reminder today that we are all worthy, that we're all here as

little miracles with work to do, but also with

lots of blessings to come our way as well. Yeah. But then our work

can be our blessing. And like I said, I've been this

morning squirreling away on my laptop,

doing the admin things, which, it's a means to an end,

but when I'm doing it and I'm writing these words and

I'm thinking, actually, maybe this word is going to come and inspire somebody.

Maybe this word going to help somebody

realize just how worthy they are. And I.

And actually, it's not just that the, they're blessed

to have me and my email land in their inbox. It's

also I'm blessed to have them reading that. Absolutely. Yeah. And

being there is allowing me to live my purpose, or

not allowing supporting me and living my purpose and sharing my

dreams. And, you know, you said about this perfect

imperfections and all of our quirks. I think that through

our lives, we're often. We can be led to believe

that our quirks should be toned down. Yeah.

We should just fit in. We'll just be like everyone else. And this is

what's normal, and this is what's usual, and this is where we should

be. And anything else that doesn't fit in this box is just something that

can be hidden or only expressed in certain times.

And actually, one of the benefits of

having this spiritual journey, of really knowing

yourself, of coming into that acceptance, is that

allowance of my quirks. And then

more than that, it's my quirks that actually

are the things that go around touching

others, that might inspire others, that might give others

someone else permission to be themselves and to feel they're

worthy. So, yes, the world is blessed to have you exactly as you are.

But if I want to take that further, the world is blessed to have

you exactly as you truly are.

Yeah. The world's even more blessed if you can

show up and actually be all of you, with the

craziness, with the shyness, with the

doubts and with the fears and with the. The wacky

things that we like sometimes at home, I just do the weirdest

things and my husband just starts. He's just, what you doing? And I'm

like, I don't know. I am just expressing this

energy that wants to come out.

Is it always in the kitchen? It's often in the kitchen, yeah. That's where I

do my crazy things. Like a bit of a wiggle, like my leg wants to

do a little bit of a dance. Chicken dances, like,

weird songs. And you, I think you and I, we have the same thing that

we make up words to songs. Yeah. Based

on. I don't know. I don't know the words to any song ever,

literally. Just make all of them up. Right. It's just one of those things.

And I think it, and my kids see it and they look at me like,

oh, mummy's, gone mad again. But I think it gives them permission that it's

ok. You don't just have. When they're at school, they have to be a certain

way. It's at home sometimes it's irritating, but at home,

like, this is your place, and how can we bring that out into the real

world? And for me, that was probably one of the most

freeing things that happened. When you come out and I speak about the

things that I'm passionate about and that I love, which I always

thought was just weird because people I remember

once, years and years ago, when I'd first started, I just learned

Reiki, and I was really getting into

the mind and the philosophies and all this stuff.

And I remember reading this thing in a book

about a pencil, right? And that we are all a pencil. Have you

heard this? I'm going to match this

pencil. And that sometimes we have to be put into

the. Into this. Into a. What's the word?

A contraction and be sharpened so that. Okay. And that the

more that we're used, that sometimes we can start to

feel like we're getting smaller. But actually, the more we

actually use ourselves, the more that we are expressed. And there was all of this

stuff, and it was really deep and it was. And I was like, mind blown.

And I remember writing on my face, I am a pencil. And my

friends, who in those days, my

corporate friends, like my normies, yeah. As

we might call them now, were like, Melissa, what on earth is

wrong with you? And I was like,

oh. And I think there was something, God, in me then. I quite my, like

this thing that's wrong with me. Yeah. I'm gonna find that pencil

quote. I love that. I

love that you did that. Shall I share the card that I've got? Yeah, please.

It's. Welcome the new.

Welcome the new butterfly. Look at that. So it's from the

butterfly oracle card deck for life changes. Welcome

the new. And as I'm thinking on this, it's almost

not just welcoming the new,

it's welcoming that which already exists

within you that is maybe new to other people, but isn't

really new to you. Because if we think about our superpowers and our

uniqueness and our weirdness, that's not new to us.

But expressing it outwardly might be new to other

people, or it might be new to us to be able to

express it openly without feeling that we're having to dim our light

or that we're having to dim it down so that we fit in.

So for me, this is about welcoming the

new version of you, but maybe the version of you that already

existed just hasn't yet been let loose in the

world. And that when we're on this spiritual journey, like you said, when

you start putting things out there that were maybe a little bit different to how

some people with different hats on when you've got a different hat might have viewed

that. But I think a lot of people who are going through on this spiritual

journey, who are going through transformation, who are going through growth, feel

this often. And it can often feel, I

suppose that's where the growth is. A lot of the time when we allow ourselves

to be more of ourselves, but it can also feel

quite, I don't know if difficult is the right word, but it can

feel like this is so different to how we

were before. And a lot comes up with that. A lot maybe stuff

that needs healing, a lot of beliefs and things start to come up with that.

And I know that I talk sometimes about how it took me a

while, even though I was always spiritual, even though I was

visualizing from four years old, even though I had a very spiritual family and I

was able to, in my own home be

myself and express and do past life regressions and all these weird things with

my mama, which aren't really weird. The outside world would have been viewed as that

if I just rocked up at primary school and started saying, this is what we

did at home last night. But it took me a

while in my thirties to merge what

I thought was my corporate everyday Beth

with spiritual Beth, all the while

not fully realizing that I was always both of those people and it

was just about integrating them. Like I hadn't changed in that

integration and me feeling comfortable with who I was.

I hadn't really changed as a person. It was just my perception of who I

was showing up, as if that makes sense. And I think a lot of people

who have worked in the corporate world or some other, it is that you

do and then move into this spiritual sector and either you wanting

to create a business that's more spiritual in nature, or you just want to bring

more spirituality, bring more rituals and habits that support

your spiritual growth, then it can sometimes feel a little bit like,

how do I merge these two together? And sometimes we

don't need to merge them. Sometimes we're already merged. It's just the acceptance of

that. And it was fascinating

to me when I started to welcome in the new of who I

was to the world, how people started, the

reception that I got from people who I thought would see me as

in a different light. One of my very first clients was somebody who I'd

worked with in the corporate world, and I would never have thought

that they would be interested in anything that spiritual Beth had to say, but yet

they've become one of my lifelong clients. And

when I said what was it that attracted you to me, it just made sense.

Like all of the things I knew you were good at in corporate land, I

didn't really understand how you were able to manifest and

do a lot of that stuff. I didn't know how you were able to fill

events. And now I understand it was through the scripting and the visualization

and your approach to project management, which is different

to what other people might do in terms of project management.

So I think we're always, we always are those people. It's just

how we change our perception

of that and how we allow ourselves to welcome in that version of us and

move through that. But it's not an easy path. But it's not a hard path

either. We talked about this another show, didn't we? That kind of

pushing a boulder up a hill conversation we have. I think mostly

it's quite scary. Yeah, because it's new and

we really genuinely care what other people think of us, right? We genuinely do. And

that's good because that's helped us survive this long, and it's helped us have

the relationships or maybe the successes,

but also this

story that you've just shared with your client, by you

showing up and being all of you, by you just going, okay, I'm going

to show them how I managed to fill

events and how I can do this. Actually, it's inspiring them into

another way of thinking. Now, you could have done this in a hundred different other

ways, which may be more

textbook, but would they have had the experience and

the realizations that they've had? And so by you showing up fully

as yourself and going, okay, if you want to work with me, then this is

what I, this is who I am, this is what I offer, this is

my beliefs, these are my values, these are my skills, these are my

experiences, then you are always going to

invite in the right people all of the time. So many of

us go through life feeling

and like, it's hard work, right? And, oh, and people don't

understand me and all of this, and I've certainly been

there. But when I look back in retrospect, it's the people that don't understand

me are the people where I felt like I had to put an act on

in order to be there. Of course they didn't understand me because I didn't give

them a choice to, a chance to understand me. I

was being this version of me that I thought that would

be acceptable. Yeah. However, as

I've become more of myself, as I've understood myself better. Yes.

There have been people who have fallen away, people who were like,

Melissa, who do you think you are with the pencil comment?

I speak to maybe two of them now.

Yeah. But you know what? That's okay. Yeah. Because I don't have

to be somebody who can't talk about these

things for fear of rejection. I can be the full version of me.

And just whoever's listening to this podcast, you've come to

me and to Beth for a reason.

Because where you understand there's a resonance there and

we can only truly find our true tribes, our

true soul families and

real relationships that are supporting and loving and

affirm this. You are worthy if and

when we are on that road, at least to being fully

ourselves. Yeah. So I would invite everybody

to welcome in the new

and be

a bit quirky, allow yourself to have the dance in the

kitchen and.

Dance in the. Kitchen and see what that brings in, what

laughter that brings, what kindness that brings. I

think you've got to feel safe with it. So start there. Start with somewhere

that it does feel safe. So for me, I

had my people and I behaved. And it wasn't like I

was always putting on this mask, but it was certainly there. And then

it was actually when I started sitting in circle,

I'm like, oh, okay, I don't need to be. It took a little while

because I felt I needed to be something else. I don't know.

But then I realized, okay, these conversations are quite

normal. When I'm teaching in soul school, in the

Akashic records training, one of the things that I'm, that we

do in there is we have these posts and we're like, explain

your journey, talk about your journey, talk about your questions, talk

about the experience so that this becomes

normal. So you start to find the words, so you start to see,

okay, look, I can speak about this and nobody is going

to go and burn me on a stake because that is a lot of

our perception. At least I'm going to be able to pull a

card in soul space in my inner community. It's okay, we can pull cards,

we can ask the cards for our guidance. And we make this normal. We

make this usual and we begin to find the language around it.

And every time we do that, it proves to our psyche.

Okay, look at that. I did that. No one died. This is

good. It's great. Yeah. So it

starts to build up that acceptance of self.

So find somewhere that you can go and express

that. A sharing circle, an online community, a

friend, whatever it is,

your spirit team, they're always there. And

for me, another one of the biggest gifts I think that

spiritual practice gave me was this.

Knowing that I am worthy and that I'm here for a reason

and that I'm okay and that I'm allowed. And it's

that reassurance that

allows me to keep on pushing these

boundaries of, okay, what is normal? What's my

normal? What can I do and be and have and all of

that. What is normal? We've got these

ideals, right? But what is that? We're all different, right?

My world. It's interesting because last night I was teaching,

I'm teaching a group of holy fire Reiki

teachers at the moment, and we were

speaking last night about the role of

the three selves that they identify in the

holy fire system, and they talk about this culturally

created self. So the culturally created self is that part

of us that feels that it needs to be accepted

by who we are. So this is the programming that we had

come in. This is the. Oh, look at that. I see colors

around people. Oops. That freaked everybody out when I

mentioned that. Or when I told my auntie

that there's going to be a baby, and then it turned out two weeks

later that she was pregnant or that, whatever. And

we're like, oh, I better not. And we start to

create this version of ourselves, and it's so deep.

It's so deep in our psyche, we don't even know. We think it's

us. Oh, I am lazy. I am

an accountant. I am.

Whatever it is, it's so deep that we don't know that it's not

what we are. If I ask, if I asked 100 people to describe

themselves, they'd probably tell me what they do and some

of their attributes, but that's not

who they are. Not in truth. And the

holy fire system starts to heal. Not let go,

not dismiss, not separate, but starts to heal this

culturally created self so that it allows more

of this other self, which is the authentic self,

to come in. So this is the part of us that is driven by

our true desires and our true wants and

this knowing, I suppose,

that when we do have these challenges and these experiences

that we need to move through, that this is part of our soul's plan. Yeah.

We are here to move and grow and evolve.

And then as we begin to work on these

aspects, the authentic self needs healing

too, because it's been hidden, it's been told, no, you're

not allowed, you're not allowed. You can't be here. You're not allowed.

Wait at the door and said, I. Come back for you. So it needs some

meaning too. Yeah. And then it begins to awaken what they call the dormant

self. And this concept is quite

fascinating. It's almost like the visual I get when I think of

that is this little bit of us that sits, like, inside, you know, where is

it? In my solar plexus? And it keeps peeking out, going, is it safe?

Is it safe for me to come out yet? And it's the part of us

that's our potential. It's the part of us that gets us to, for

example, sign up to these things, right? And be like, yes, I can do this.

Then you get there and you. I'm not sure. Yeah, better not. I've got a

hundred other things to do. I'm not going to. I'm not going to do it.

It's the part of us that gets us booked onto something or

makes us start to write down these ideas or have these

dreams, and then it's a little mouse looking for its

cheese. It's, oh, better not come out. But as the

culturally creative self receives its healing and its understanding of,

okay, I develop these traits, these

experiences, these habits, these beliefs, because

they help me be accepted. They stop me being thrown out of the tribe, which

is a, which is an ancient survival

mechanism, so that the authentic self can be like,

oh, okay, look at me, look who I am, look where

I want to go, look where something is driving me to. And then

this dormant self, which I wonder if maybe we

installed in ourselves before we were born, we're like, this is who you're becoming.

This is who you're going to be. Do you think the dormant self is the

whispers? Or do you think it's different? Because I feel

like maybe it might be your impersonation of the dormant self that is making me

think, because I think whispers is more, is stronger, it's

more confident in who it is. Whereas the dormant self, as

you described it, they don't. Oh, your voice described it was a little bit more

timid of wanting to come forward, but. Or do you see it as like, the

same thing? One of the same thing. I kind of wonder if, when it actually

comes out, if it's actually really a big lion

with the courage that it needs. Do I think so? Possibly. I sometimes

get guidance and I think maybe we'll have a one of our

episodes about our guidance team. But I think part of

what it is that guides us is this future self.

Yeah. And maybe the dormant self

is that part of that future

most aligned self of ours that sits

within us. It's. This is where we are now. And I'm just wait. I'm

waiting for the moment. And maybe

its doorway into that is coming into this

authentic path of ourselves. Which means the

truth of I know who I am. I

know what I want, or at least I think I do.

And then questioning and exploring and being

curious about where my values

and experiences and wants actually truly

lie. And I think alongside that, we've

got this ego that is maybe trying to keep us safe

and maybe trapped a little bit, like not time yet. Stay back.

It's not safe. It's not safe out here just yet. Yeah,

our egos are amazing. I think it's part of this culturally created self.

Its job is to keep us safe. Yeah. And the only thing it knows is

what it knows. And so I've got this far. I'm still alive.

Let's not do anything to rock the boat. I think that's it. I think it's

making friends with our ego because there's a lot of books

and commentary around, actually.

Ego is the negative and the soul is the positive.

But if we can make friends with the ego knowing that

it's doing a job, it's trying to keep us safe, it's trying

to stop us jumping off cliffs and hurting

ourselves, that it's that friend that we can

choose to listen to or go. Okay, I appreciate

your advice, ego. However, I'm

still going to do this thing. We can inform it. It's

another thing, we speak about this in the holy fire training as well, that our

ego isn't something to be dismissed. It's again,

it talks about the healing of the ego because the ego is what

makes us, or part of what this human experience is.

That if we didn't have an ego, we'd probably not be in a

body or at least we wouldn't be an adult yet. It

helps us in so many ways. However, it's just

been misinformed. And I do believe that our

job, this generation, and again, I don't mean

that in age, I mean our generation of these

awakening beings, is to help us

heal those parts of ourselves so that ego can feel

safe in exploring and doing these things.

I don't know about you, but I found certainly for me that

my ego is less

activated now than it used to be. It used to

just be in control. Yeah. And now it's

there. Of course it's there. And it shows up in all funky

ways. Let's not, let's not lie

about that. But it's just less activated.

It's just, ah, listen to me, because I think I've proven to

it time and time and time again. It's all right, we got this. It's

gonna be okay. Come with me. You've got a job. You've got a really

important job to do with me today. Ego. Hold this clipboard.

Yeah. This is gonna keep us safe. Can you be in charge of that?

And it's, oh, okay, yeah, I can do that. And it's very clever and

cunning and it often shows up in ways like this admin

I was talking about, which I was meant to do two days ago

and three days ago, but actually ended up me buying

clothes for a photo shoot, doing something else, which I

need to do anyway. The 25 other things that,

because there's a part of me that's when I put this out there, then it's

the stories we tell ourselves. So make

friends with the ego. Another question that I think just dropped

in was, as children, is the

ego as developed

or. Because if you think, as children, we're just going to. I'm just going to

put this in my mouth and I'm just going to throw myself down the

stairs on my little buggy. So is the ego

there? Or is it just that we're not attuned to it? Or is it that

as children, we've not been conditioned by society and cultural

norms and all of this stuff? All of that? Yeah, I think the ego

is being informed the whole time. I think it's there. I don't know what

the psychotherapy this is, but

my feeling is our ego's there.

It's being informed in all of these early childhood

experiences. Zero seven. And I can see, I have a seven year old

in my house, bless him, and I can see it. I can

see the ego coming into play.

And with my nine year old, I can see

how the ego can often control

him in that. It's like, oh, I better

not. He's quite quiet, my

nine year olds, and I can see it's like, oh,

everyone's looking at me and that's an, that's an ego

thing, isn't it? Because you don't feel safe in there. So, yeah, I think that

it's there. It's just not in charge. And

at some point it gets brave. It doesn't have to, maybe

doesn't ever have to be in charge. Maybe the next generation of children and the

generation after that, there will be more of this balance and God

help me, I'm. It's hard even knowing that as a

parent trying to bring up children in this way. If we do the work

with our kids and then they'll start and then they'll start and

maybe in two or three generations it will be something very different.

Maybe it's good that we have an ego. It's

good. Yeah. And don't get rid of it. We need it. We're human.

Yeah. I think it's just how we, like you say if

lots of people, lots of parents are all

different spiritual

inclination, then maybe the children of the future will

approach things slightly different. It's an interesting

concept. You know what it is. Comes back to the

card. Maybe what it is allowing our

ego to know, yeah, I'm worthy. Yes, the world

is blessed to have me. Yeah. Maybe when it really knows that.

Because there was always that kid at school that you're like, oh, they've got a

really big ego. They love themselves so much and it's, oh, that's the worst thing

ever. But the truth is, and I see this in retrospect now,

that those ones that walked around, oh, they loved themselves so much and

they, who do they think they are? Probably were the most insecure

people. Yeah. They had to keep up this appearance. They had

to be, it's like the, like the mean girls in, in

the movie when you actually look beneath it, they're the ones that are really

insecure and the ones that don't feel safe being them. And

so they're trying to be in control of the situation.

Exactly. So it's like their ego is on high

alert all the time. It's, I need some, this culturally created

self needs to be there because that's the only thing that I know how to

be. And so maybe if what we're feeding our

ego naught to seven and then now it's not like we have to wait for

the next incarnation to do this. Let's get clear. We have control

over that now, we have impact on that now. But maybe

it's how we inform it. You know what? You are worthy and the world

is blessed to have you truly. Not the world is blessed

to have you because you can, because you've got the right

outfit on or because you can speak these certain words

or that you're always with the computers or whatever it is

that we've been. That we've been prizing, but truly, just because

I'm here. Yeah. The world is blessed. I say to

my son, my nine year old, like, quite often, he's

quiet. I'm like, I love hearing your words. Your words are really

important. Make sure he even writes really

tiny. And he writes small, but your words are

important. We want to hear them. Yeah.

So, I don't know, maybe that's feeding this ego so it feels

safe. And when it feels safe, it doesn't need to

act with these destructive behaviors that it's so known

for. Interesting. So I love

today's episode. Yeah. That we're all worthy, we're

all good enough and that we can welcome in that version of us

that the world needs to get to know. I'm a

pencil. I am worthy.

You're a pencil, I'm a penny.

Oh, it's very safer to be a pen.

But then once you run out. Yeah. We could have a whole

stationery debate, couldn't we? Pencils and pens and just. I

got Mother's day, so. Oh, nice. I'm

very happy restocked. I love a little bit of coloured pens

and. Well, maybe for another time,

but, yeah. All of you listening, just know that whatever it

is that you are, and even if you feel

that you have things that

could be improved, that could be better, that could be more accepted, that

could be. It could be born in you. The world is blessed to have

you as you are and we need you as we are. And

just contemplate on that journal on that, be reminded

of that. Maybe this is your sign from spirit, that, yes, you are worthy.