Hello and welcome to the Choosing Happy podcast.

We're on today three of our Breaking Patterns week.

And it's all part of the international coaching week.

And this is kind of my gift to you.

So yesterday I said that we'd, we'd begin changing those beliefs.

And yes, we will, but not in the way that I suggested.

I suggested reframing today.

I want to go really powerful.

I want to ask you some questions that, that might just rock your very foundations of that pattern that maybe you've had for all of your life.

So stay tuned for this episode of the Choosing Happy podcast.

Foreign welcome to this pattern breaking Choosing Happy podcast episode.

It's day three and I want to go really deep.

I.

I sat back this morning and I thought about how I was going to present this.

I already had a script, but I've thrown the script to one side because I think they're is a deeper place we can go that will really help you.

I ask you to grab a pen and some paper and find a space where perhaps you can, you can be alone, that you're undisturbed because these questions are very, very powerful.

And I'd like you to get into a state where your unconscious mind is willing to play along and to release anything that comes up for you.

I'd like you to take a deep breath and to really center yourself today and to ask your unconscious mind if it's willing to come up with some of the answers to begin to loosen this pattern and if it's okay for that to happen today, I'd like you to take some deep breaths and just center yourself and just become aware of the space around you and become aware of how you're feeling in your body.

Think about that pattern that you've been running and just notice your body if there's anxiety or fear and where that is in your body now, now, we've done this over the last couple of days, so you should be really practiced at noticing this problem, this pattern that you're running.

I want you to ask yourself, ask your unconscious mind and just go with the very first answer that comes up.

What is the benefit of holding onto this pattern, this problem?

All patterns and problems are there because your unconscious mind believes there's a benefit, there's a positive to having it, to running it.

It's not always in our awareness.

If you were to know what is the benefit of having this pattern and this problem, how is it serving you?

Write it down and be willing to go with that first answer whether you like it or not.

Now, the next Question is, what would your life be like if the pattern or problem no longer existed?

I want you to write down again the very first things that come to mind.

Not always what we think comes to mind.

You know, you might think that the first thing that comes to mind is released, but maybe what actually comes to mind is how fearful life would be without this problem.

Maybe in some way we've had this problem so long, we can't even imagine what life would be without it.

And that's one of the reasons it keeps repeating the pattern.

When I run coaching Sessions, I ask three questions before I accept someone as a client.

1.

Are you ready to be coached?

So if you've answered these questions, you probably are ready.

You've taken the time your unconscious mind is in a place where it's ready to release the pattern.

Are you able to to be coached?

Are you able to release this pattern?

Is it safe for you?

Is this.

If from that first question, your unconscious mind was saying that it's keeping you safe, just check in with that.

Ecologically, how is it keeping you safe?

Is it literally keeping you safe in the environment you're in?

If that's true, then it may not be time for you to be coached.

And are you willing.

Are you willing to be coached?

Are you willing to let the problem go and you just check in with your unconscious mind?

Is it willing to let the problem go?

Go with the first answer that comes up for each of these questions, and you can take a moment to explore a little bit further to see what the reason is.

If some of those answers are no, you need at least two of those to be yeses before you go into a coaching agreement or attempt to release the problem and the pattern.

Now we can reframe to help loosen the pattern.

We can work with your unconscious mind so that it knows that it is safe to release the pattern and remind it that one of the prime directives of the unconscious mind is to help keep you safe and help you thrive.

And if this pattern is no longer keeping you safe and is actually causing you harm and illness, then that goes against the prime directives of the unconscious mind.

So what is this pattern costing you?

If you think about perhaps the things it's preventing you from doing, if it's stopping you from working, if it's keeping you in lack, what is the cost of holding on to this problem?

And does the cost outweigh the benefit?

Are you at a point where the cost is greater than the benefit of holding onto it?

And is it time to let it go and what will it be like in your life and your business and your work if in six months time you haven't released the problem, you're still running the pattern, Are you ready to let it go?

Taking all of the above into consideration, are you ready to let it go On a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is no, definitely not.

And 10 is absolutely, I'm ready to let it go.

And if you sink into the weight of that problem, how tired are you?

I know for me I've had patterns where I'm just so exhausted.

I've been trying, I've been doing all of the things, I've been doing all of the personal development.

But there's some truths that I wasn't aware of that kept me in pattern.

And one of them is that your thoughts and feelings aren't real.

And we actually have to recreate the problem.

We have to rethink the problem in order for it to exist.

We have to rethink the problem and recreate the feelings.

Now I will as a side note, say it's different with trauma.

So if what you're experiencing is trauma, then there's a different way of dealing with it.

That's not what we're talking about today.

We can talk about that and explore that.

If you wanted to join the three month coaching program I'm offering at the moment for breaking patterns, let's begin to free up the problem a little bit.

First of all, if you're still in that relaxed state, remember a time when you forgot to run the problem, when you forgot to run the pattern, when you felt absolutely alive and free and were joyful, you were in the moment, you were flowing.

What was it like?

Really feel it.

And ask your unconscious mind if it's okay for you to live like that more often.

And remember that in the moment when you're truly present, you can't have the problem.

Because the problem, anxiety is about worrying about the future.

And worry really doesn't add anything.

When was the last time worry helped you out or anxiety helped you out?

But if we can stay in the present moment as much as possible, recognizing that right now where I am is safe and this problem actually doesn't exist in this very second, then we can let it go.

And the same about the past, bringing up problems from the past and worrying about the past, the past does not have to predict your future.

We can change in any moment.

Just sit in this now moment and breathe and release and let everything go.

Just release.

Just feel that release.

And what I recommend is that you do this as much as possible.

You take time out during your day, you set an alarm and you just sit in the now moment, in the present.

You feel into your body, you feel a feet on the floor, you scan the room and name five things in the room that you really love, name five things in the world that you love, notice your breath, notice how you physically feel, notice what you hear, notice what you smell and really bring yourself into the present moment and then just let everything go.

Give your mind permission to take a rest.

We go into this, as I say, more deeply in the three month program and it's easier to loosen up problems when I'm working with you.

One to one Hope Today has been as impactful and helpful as I want it to be because I really would like you to begin experiencing life without your pattern and without your problem and at the same time become aware of what it's costing you and how really your problem isn't real, it's a belief.

It's something that you run constantly and we can loosen it, we can change it.

And one of the first things to do is to begin to imagine life without it and spend quite a bit of time imagining what it would be like at least 10 minutes, three times a day, imagining what it would be like to be that problem free.

I hope you've enjoyed this episode and I will see you again tomorrow for day four of International Coaching Week and Pattern Breaking.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this week's episode.

If you enjoyed it or think it would be valuable to others, please do share.

And if you really enjoyed it, please please leave me a review.

It really helps the podcast.

All of the links are in the show notes and I look forward to seeing you next week on the Choosing Happy Podcast.