I'm taking you all for a walk with me. Let's do a little walk and talk, which I haven't done in a long time. If you've been a long time listener, and by long time I mean a year and a half. Then you know that I used to do a lot of walk and talk podcasts. I used to be pushing Aubrey in a stroller and walking through the neighborhood or what not and just recording my thoughts and this actually brings me to why I wanted to press record is because I've been just doing a lot of, I guess reflection and introspection and I don't even know what the right word is, just like, zooming out I guess, and looking at the bigger picture of my life. Looking at the context of where I've been, where I am, where I want to go and in all honesty, like, I've been in a funny place in my life lately where there's been More self doubt than usual, and more anxiety than usual, and more fears around being seen, or fears around just other people's perception. And it's not even so much this fear of like being misunderstood, but this fear of being wrongly accused. And so I've been Yeah, just exploring those things. And being a radical and compassionate, non judgmental witness to those things. And even before coming out for a walk, I had kind of set the intention that I wanted to record something today. And I was laying in bed at cycle day three. So, I'm basking in all the blissful glory of being a bleeding woman. That means for me being as horizontal and curling up in bed as much as possible. And yeah, I was just like, no, like I need to move. I need to walk. I need to let this energy that I'm feeling move through me and I went down a trip down memory lane and listened to the first episode on this podcast, which was recorded in April of 2023, which really doesn't feel that long ago, right? That was only like a year and a half ago. And there was so much medicine for me in that episode. So I encourage you to listen to it too, if you haven't been with me that long, or if you have, go listen to it again, because damn, that version of myself was funny. And. I just am so inspired by her innocence and her playfulness, and the intentions that I set for this podcast still remain true. So it was really, really humbling and encouraging to tap back into that energy. And then I also listened to, I think it was episode 28, where I announced the rebrand of this podcast from Not Just a Mom to what it currently is, Rewild and Free, and share the conception story on that name and like the meaning for me. And so that was also really inspiring. And I'm laughing at myself saying that out loud because it's like, how can I be like inspired by myself? But I am. And in the reflections that I've been making the past couple of days, weeks, months, And noticing this increase of, like, self doubt and anxiety and bitterness, so much bitterness. Recognizing that that's my not self theme in human design. Bitterness is my not self theme. So, it's an indication and communication to me that I am not living in alignment. And so, coming back to those episodes truly was an inspiration. And An invitation to come back into alignment and to tap back into those values and those intentions that still remain true for me today, as well as all of the, like, added evolutions that I've been experiencing and the added life experience and the Potentially small shift in values that I've experienced in this year in particular. And. Anyways, I'm beginning to ramble as I do. My intention for this podcast episode was actually to give you a little behind the scenes on my offer creation process. It's something that I don't hear a lot of other creators talking about and I notice even as I'm in the middle of it, I, like I said, I've just felt a lot of self doubt and a lot of anxiety and a lot of fear creep in and some of that is because I worry that, like, I'm not doing it right, or I'm not doing something enough, or there's a, there's a loud flavor of not enoughness in my life right now that I'm also tending to. And, like, a common thread or a through line in my journey the past couple years has really been about Breaking up with hustle culture and specifically in business, like boss babe culture, bro, bro marketing with a dress on it, let's call it. And as I've kind of tapped deeper into the spiritual world in the past year or so, that has been especially true because I'm seeing a lot of I don't know. The word that's coming to mind is like a dissonance. Like there's, there's a lack of integrity that I'm noticing and I've spoken about this before and maybe I'll try to find more words to actually create a whole episode on it. Because I do think it's being felt collectively and people are just having a hard time finding the language for it. Just like I am in this moment. But there's, there's a gap and there's like a dysfunction and a a recalibration that is needed. Where. Basically, like, heart and business need to be married in some way, and I'm just not seeing that in a lot of places. So, anyways yeah, my intention for this episode is to share a bit about the offer creation process that I'm, I've been moving through, and just reflect out loud and share this process, because I think it can be really helpful if you are also a coach, or healer, or doula, or online someone, someone who creates something in any shape or form, right? Whether it's a course, or a group program, or a frickin book, or a podcast, or mentorship, like whatever it is, like I still think this can be really helpful for you. So, it's funny, like when you're walking, I'm trying to like also be present with nature and my surroundings and I'm also noticing not so much anymore because now I'm down in a park but when I was still walking on my street I like did not want to be seen by my neighbors and I did not want to engage in like any small talk and I don't want to make eye contact and I don't want people to see and hear what I'm talking about and that is just such a. Mirrored to kind of what I've been feeling in my life lately. Anyways okay. Coming back to this. So yeah, if you have been following along, you know that I took a little sabbatical over the summer. So I was mostly off social media from May to what was it? I think like beginning of September. And so. The past couple months have been me kind of re emerging and I'm, I'm realizing now that after listening back to those previous episodes where there was that like innocent, playful energy, I And like, again, tapping into this, not self human in human design, bitterness, like I was not bitter in those moments in that season of my life. And I've just been reflecting on like the difference. And I think one of the differences is like last, last year. So basically between like April and October I truly was in this like, Give no fucks kind of energy, but also like deeply giving a shit about whatever it was that I was passionate about in the moment. And I've kind of lost that and I don't know where it went or maybe I do. And that could be for a future episode, but I'm wanting to call that back in wanting to claim it as mine and really, yeah, just reemerge with that energy because it hasn't really been there the past couple of months or weeks. And so, That includes bringing you for a walk with me as I record a podcast. And I can already feel a bit more pep in my step. And the sun gorgeously shining on my back. And my, my feet. Throat feels more open, so here we go. Thanks for hanging out this long if you've made it this far into the episode. Here's the actual juice and the, the part that I wanted to talk about. So, yeah, if you've been following along I think basically a month ago, I announced that I was going to impromptly host a full moon. workshop and the intention behind that workshop was all around transmuting the big fiery energy that comes with emotions like frustration and anger and resentment and actually glean the wisdom and the communication from those emotions and turn that like fire into fuel. And in that moment that felt really Really alive for me. It actually was inspired by a workshop that I attended and had my own kind of transformation. And, and, and that moment I was like, Oh my God, I need to share some of this with my community. And so it felt like it was moving through me, like, like almost like word vomit, like, Oh my God, I just need to like, let this out. I need to like give this to someone. Which is interesting because Part of my offer creation process includes being very, very connected and aware of my, what I kind of call like my cycles of creation. And that includes being mindful of like where I am in my menstrual cycle and where I am in just my overall like well being, how much I'm resting, how much time I'm actually. Making for pockets of like creativity or open channeling to occur, basically like how busy is my life? How full is my plate? How much capacity do I actually have? Also being aware and kind of connected to the cosmic energy and like full moon, new moon, that kind of stuff. I really don't know that much, but I'm like learning each day. lunar cycle a little bit more and so all of that really helps me to hone in on my own like cycles of creation and understanding that like creation much like nature and things in nature and like the seasons there's like a rise and a fall and there's I mean like the four parts right like you spring is like kind of new beginnings seeds are planted you nurture those seeds so like you With the idea of like creation, it's like you get a new idea and you're kind of like protecting that idea and sitting with it for a bit. Maybe you're nurturing it, you're kind of in that liminal space of deciding, like, are we going here or are we just going to like sit on this one for a bit? You're probably very protective of like who you even share that idea with because it could get squashed by someone. And yeah, you're just kind of protecting that seed. And then summer is coming into that more full bloom energy. So often that looks like actually launching the thing that you've just created. And that obviously requires a lot of energy. Launching is. often dysregulating to the nervous system, and you are highly visible and I mean, you probably know this by now, but like that spring and summer energy isn't sustainable to be doing all the time and society has kind of perpetuated this belief or conditioned us to think that we should be or could be tapping into like spring and summer energy all the time and that's simply not true. So within the cycles of creation, we also have fall and winter. And so fall being that time for kind of like debriefing, whatever it was you created, maybe refining, deciding how you want to make it better. You're also like harvesting whatever came out of it, and that could be good or bad. Really it's just like this, this time to be begin to get introspective and turning inwards and then winter being that like time for I don't know, voidness is the word that's coming to mind. I don't even know if voidness is a word, but like that, that void, that true liminal space where you're kind of in this like sacred pause, you're not necessarily creating anything. But maybe you have seeds that you're thinking about planting. You're also still. introspective and like reflecting back on what's worked and what hasn't and you're kind of just gathering all that information and resting and like regenerating to get ready for the next season. And I would say that that fall and winter season is the hardest part of creation. It's uncomfortable. It's when, for me at least, like the self doubt Creeps in it's when it feels like nothing's working. Sometimes it feels like I'm just like spinning my tires and things aren't, aren't actually happening. Like it has, it feels slow. There isn't like that outwards growth. So when we think of like society's definition of success, those outward metrics likely aren't being met. And yeah, I find it can be really easy to feel like. Something's wrong or that like, not enough ness energy. You're doing something wrong and that perpetuates this. this urge to do more. And that's actually the exact opposite of what we should be doing. And so, coming back to this full moon workshop that I was trying to create, looking back, I realized that was a seed that was planted and I probably Acted too fast. I was excited. I was really riding the momentum of coming back online and filling up my zoom room with people because sharing that space and Holding space for others really does light me up and fill my cup up and Basically within like the two days of me announcing I was doing that workshop and like it was impromptu. It was, I think I literally announced it on like a Thursday evening and I was going to host it on a Sunday. I realized, oh no, this thing is way bigger than just a little like live full moon ceremony. I need to like put the brakes on this, give myself a little bit more space, actually allow this to breathe and become what it wants to. And so I pivoted. I announced that that workshop was going to be canceled. It was transforming and evolving into I then declared a prerecorded training. I thought I was just going to essentially like record everything I was dreaming up and plop it into a little podcast series or some sort of like prerecorded training. And. This is where the story gets really funny because I was already internalizing a bit of shame or judgment for myself in changing my mind and like not following through on something and so I told myself to commit or like be devoted to seeing this thing through because this has been another pattern. I haven't actually seen a creation of mine through to its entirety since like last April. And obviously when I zoom out and look at the context of my life that makes perfect sense, but in the moment I was really just Being quite mean to myself and then you're like, you never finished what you started and like, you keep abandoning and jumping ship on like your offers. And so you really just need to see this one through. And so I committed to myself that I would get this prerecorded training done. And I also had one person purchase it. So I had like that external validation and external motivation to. Keep me going. And what's interesting is as I continue to create it and as I continue to stay devoted with the Entity of this offering it continued to get bigger and bigger and bigger and it continued to Ask me for more space. It asked me for community and it asked me for I think a detachment to timelines and I was so resistant to that because I did have that one sale and I was quickly noticing like my very old and familiar people pleasing tendencies creep in and want to complete this thing for that one person and it honestly like gave me a really loud choice point of like, okay, I can continue to following this old pattern of kind of forcing things. to completion and doing things because I don't want to let someone else down and in doing all that basically bypass my own inner wisdom and the communication my body was giving me or I could make a different choice this time and really honor that like inner wisdom and the wisdom that the entity of this offering was also giving me in the sense of wanting more space and wanting community and so I did that. I granted myself a permission slip to pivot once again and kind of held space for and didn't let the voices in my head that were telling me that I was being flaky and not falling through and all those things gave them space to be there because I know they're just protecting me but also didn't let them take driver's seat in this situation. And ultimately, as soon as I gave myself the space to pivot once again, this thing has, like, just evolved in the most, extraordinary way. And I've been able to, get so clear on who this is for and why I'm creating it and just, what it's turned into. And so, I guess before I share some of that, I just want to say that, like, Everyone's cycle of creation is going to be different, and each like cycle of creation for each piece of creation you're creating is also going to be different. And that's where it gets really, really tricky because we, I think as humans, really, really like to cling on to patterns because patterns feel familiar. And so I guess the wisdom here that I want to share is to just constantly be in connection with like the inner. Wisdom within and the wisdom from your business and like allow those two Two entities to like co create together and This is all by the way in the matter of like a two three week period and while because I did I 85 90 percent done recording for The pre recorded training that I thought I was creating and the whole time I was recording it I felt this disconnect and I felt like I don't know this this would be so much more potent if I was like teaching this live and actually having space for integration and yeah it just wasn't it wasn't becoming what it was supposed to become and I actually Like I said, it was like 85 percent done and my intention was to have it as like a little private podcast series and so I had The first couple episodes plugged into like uploaded to the podcast and I Wanted to listen to it from like a listener's experience. So I listened from my phone as if like I was the person that had just like purchased this and as I was listening, I'm like, oh my god, this is not it. Like this is not what this was supposed to be. And so there was this moment of like not feeling proud of what I created and again, I could have kind of let that Really spiral into like, oh, I'm just being a perfectionist and like done is better than perfect and like it's okay to be messy, which all those things are true, but it wasn't actually my perfectionist that was like saying I'm not proud. It was. This, this lack of pride was because this was out of alignment for me. And it was feeling like something I didn't even want to talk about anymore. It was feeling like something that even if I did follow through and finish and, and give access to the person that purchased, it, it, yeah, it wasn't something that I was proud of. And that's not how I want to build my business. And so, long story short, I've obviously like messaged that person and I have given her different options of how we can proceed. But that in itself was a really hard decision for me because that isn't modeled to us, right? Like, nobody talks about what they do when they pivot with an offering that they've potentially already done like a pre sell for and now they have to decide like if they're offering refunds or if they're granting like free or discounted access into like the thing that it's evolving into and like so that was that was that was tricky and I'm I'm proud of myself for what I decided to do but just naming that like entrepreneurship continues to have a lot of moments of loneliness in it and The thing is, is we're not actually alone. We just need to start surrounding ourselves with people that we can have these like conversations with. And yeah, I guess that's why it's important to me that I actually share some of this stuff out loud. So anyways, now that I've given myself that giant permission slip, and this was all kind of unfolding like last week. So now that I've given it space and I've allowed it to evolve into what it wanted to evolve into, things like I have never felt. This much clarity and even saying like, I have clarity in my business feels so unfamiliar. There's like construction going on, so I'm going to turn around. It's also kind of crisp outside, so my nose is starting to run. I apologize for the sniffles. I'm also walking by like, I guess it's like a Beaverdam? I don't even know. It's kind of weird to like be on a walk and talk but you can't see what I see. Podcasts are weird. You might be like driving or maybe you're doing the dishes or maybe you're like half falling asleep and not even listening right now or maybe you have like a kid pulling on your pant leg saying they pooped their pants or something. I don't know. So anyways, yeah, I've given this thing some space and I'm just really, really excited for what it is becoming, what it's like evolving into. And so I obviously don't have all of the pieces laid out, but I would like to share what I have so far. And that is it's going to be a group program. I don't see it so much as a training anymore. I actually see it evolving into what I'm going to call a retreat. Because I think we all need more rest and rejuvenation in our lives and we don't need more strategy and we don't need more things to just kind of fill our minds. We need opportunities to be in community. We need opportunities to untangle some of the threads that we are probably feeling alone while trying to untangle ourselves. We need to be witnessed by others. like hearted women and we need to also witness others because I have been in so many circles and group spaces where there's so much medicine in witnessing myself through witnessing someone else. And so I'm reminded of that all the time and I think that was the biggest disconnect that I was feeling when I was trying to make this into a pre recorded training is like the community aspect and being able to Hold space and give space, like set the pace for integration, because when it was just the prerecorded training, it was something that would have been bingeable and likely something that people would have listened on like 2x speed. And like when we're consuming in that way, we're just really bypassing that, that opportunity for deeper integration. So anyways, yeah, it's going to be like this, this virtual online retreat. I plan to still include all of the stuff that I already had prepared for the prerecorded training. And spiraling off from the first iteration of this when it was just a full moon workshop, I'm still including kind of what I'm now calling emotional alchemy. So really giving space for some of those big fire emotions like frustration and anger and resentment and Ultimately, creating safety in our bodies so we can actually, raise them, and then express them, and then glean the wisdom from them, and like, see the communication that's there. And also just give language to, like, the water we swim in, the societal conditioning around. emotional regulation and like emotional alchemy. And then from there really getting into like identity work. And this is where it was starting to feel so big and this is where I stopped it from just being a full moon workshop. Cause I'm like, oh wait, this isn't it anymore. This has nothing to do with the full moon even. And this is where like the community aspect I think is going to be so, so potent. And so the identity aspect being. So often that like spinning tire energy that comes with like frustration and anger and like, I don't know, almost all the things that I've been working through. This is the other thing is literally like every time I create the universe reflects back to me stuff to deepen my embodiment with. So it's no wonder I've been feeling all of the things that I shared at the beginning of this episode because it's all an invitation to. step into or like reclaim a more alive and embodied identity. And I, I like using the analogy of like things are not fitting anymore. And so like you've outgrown an identity. And so those emotions like frustration and anger and resentment might be coming up because whatever it is you're doing, whatever you're trying to do in business or in motherhood or, And your whatever relationships, like, simply aren't working. And so when things aren't working, we need to try new things on for size. And so Yeah, this identity piece feels really really big and I'm still finding the language on how I actually want to market it and like express and Articulate the energy that I'm feeling with it But the next piece that also was feeling too big to just have in like a pre recorded bingeable podcast series was what I kind of see as Something that nobody's talking enough about and that's like the nervous system frequency attunement that needs to happen to like step into that new identity, right? We can We can kind of call in wherever it is we're trying to go, but oftentimes the action steps and like the change in behavior and the change in mindset that needs to happen feels so unsafe to our nervous system. So we're constantly experiencing like this. This pushback or this like, well, ultimately like often experiencing freeze and that might look like procrastination And what's really happening is like, we aren't attuning the frequency of our nervous system to widen our capacity to hold space for that next embodied evolution of ourselves. Like we are. Mentally, mentally, we're increasing capacity and we're holding the vision and kind of expanding who we want to be, but somatically in the body, the body isn't being tended to, to match where the mind is trying to go. And so there's this like mind body disconnect. And this is in my opinion where like nervous system work is so, so potent and really not talked about enough. I feel like everyone and their dog is talking about like quantum leaps and timeline jumping and like, just like, step into like the, your most like confident coach air, whatever it is. And like, just like embody her. And it's like, okay, cool. Logically, I think we can all kind of get on board with that, even though we can also see where we might be like, caught in our own shit. But somatically, the body needs to be supported through that too. So, long story short, this little retreat isn't so little. It's probably going to be like an 8 or 12 week experience where we get to Just tend to all the things I just mentioned. And yeah. I don't know, I feel like I said way more than I was planning to. And I don't even know if I'm gonna publish this whole conversation or not. Cause I feel like I've been all over the place. And I'm also just trying to accept that this is who I am. And I should probably call this podcast, like, Does That Even Make Sense? Because I feel like I'm constantly, Just asking like, oh, does that even make sense? I have such a hard time or it feels like I have a hard time articulating what's actually going in my head, going on in my head and going on in my heart. And that, that fear of it not making sense to someone. Absolutely getting in my way because it's making me self censor and making me ultimately just like not show up because I feel like I haven't completely formulated a polished enough thought and I'm breaking up with that right now. Trusting that the people that need to hear this will hear this and they'll resonate with some of the pieces I'm sharing and obviously the more I start talking about this, The more clear and more articulate it will become. And I know that from previous creations as well. And so, I think the other things I wanted to touch on were in the process of all of this like going all the way back to the past year and taking time offline in the summer and coming back and noticing what was happening. this bitterness and really trying to be intentional about like matching my capacity and all of those things. I've also been deepening my understanding of my own human design and also uncovering a layer of neurodivergence and that's something that I haven't talked publicly about yet and I guess I just said it but I'm still making sense of all that and it's helping me to better understand. The way that I just kind of exist in the world and the way that my brain works and the way that creation moves through me. And so I just wanted to mention that here because, again, I think, Nobody is talking about all of this all together. And there's just so much nuance. And so when we're constantly being fed these,, oh, here's how to create a sold out offer in two seconds, like all the nuance is missing. And then of course, like people invest because we're also told that you need to spend money to make money or whatever that marketing Agenda is, but then what happens is we like do all these things and we try to follow all these like proven frameworks and strategies and then we walk away and it's not working and it feels misaligned and we're feeling whatever our not self theme is in human design and then we end up thinking like well I'm just not good enough or I need to do better next time, I need to make more content or I need to write more emails or I need to find a better way to Coach, or try a different strategy, or Have a stronger mindset. Ew. It's none of those things. We don't need to do more. We don't need to force. We don't need to push. We don't need to, like, strengthen anything except our connection to ourselves, and began tending to like our animal body and reconnecting with the wisdom of our inner genius. And so, I feel like my experience is completely validating that. And so I'm excited to speak more on it and I'm excited to I mean, I obviously don't have a proven framework to show you, but I'm excited to continue to share my process out loud and help you find your own process. I also have a couple other things. That feel really exciting, kind of leading up to this group retreat, and that is just bringing more language to ultimately, like, the water we swim in, in the sense of hustle culture, and like I mentioned at the beginning, like, This dissonance, especially in, I think, like, the conscious and spiritual spaces where ultimately we're being fed this, this, like, more conscious way of doing business, but it's still just So, I really want to shambler my perspective on that and offer you a vision to hold on to and a new paradigm to enter, ultimately. So, yeah, more to come. I'm starting to feel tired. I'm going to head back home now. It's also quite windy, so I don't know how the audio is going to be. And my nose is severely running, so I need to catch it. Okay, talk to you next time.