1 00:00:01,260 --> 00:00:04,080 Gift biz unwrapped episode 54, 2 00:00:04,790 --> 00:00:06,200 But it's not about your purpose. 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,930 It's about how you naturally already serve. 4 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:10,910 Hi, this is John Lee, 5 00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:13,100 Dumas of entrepreneur on fire, 6 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,650 and you're listening to the gift of biz unwrapped. 7 00:00:15,650 --> 00:00:20,360 And now it's time to light it up. 8 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,890 Welcome to gift biz, 9 00:00:22,010 --> 00:00:25,880 unwrapped your source for industry specific insights and advice to develop 10 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:26,990 and grow your business. 11 00:00:27,350 --> 00:00:28,820 And now here's your host, 12 00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:34,940 Sue Monheit It's Sue and welcome to the gift biz unwrapped 13 00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:38,390 podcast. Whether you own a brick and mortar shop sell online 14 00:00:38,390 --> 00:00:39,860 or are just getting started, 15 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,580 you'll discover new insight to gain traction and to grow your 16 00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:46,880 business. And today I am thrilled to have joining us. 17 00:00:46,910 --> 00:00:48,290 Monica sands. 18 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:52,940 Monica is an executive business consultant and life strategist who loves 19 00:00:52,940 --> 00:00:57,350 to help successful entrepreneurs tap into their greatness and build massive 20 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:02,810 empires. Her unique quality is to see through people's perceived limitations 21 00:01:02,990 --> 00:01:06,500 and help them recognize and use their true gifts and expertise. 22 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,880 She's a master communicator and an expert at building excellent teams, 23 00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:12,200 designing clear, 24 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:17,600 effective business strategies and leadership development roadmaps her powerful, 25 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:22,100 intuitive guidance helps people clarify a plan for long lasting success 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,630 and witnessed their legacy. 27 00:01:23,660 --> 00:01:24,590 Come to fruition. 28 00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:27,800 Monaca encourages people to see their greatness, 29 00:01:28,010 --> 00:01:30,680 be their greatness and pay it forward. 30 00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:32,150 Welcome to the show. 31 00:01:32,150 --> 00:01:33,800 Monica, Thank you, 32 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,690 Sue. I'm so excited to be here. 33 00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:36,740 It's such a pleasure. 34 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,350 I am thrilled that you're here and I know that you're 35 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:42,740 going to be bringing some really valuable information to our audience 36 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:45,350 and things that our listeners have never heard before. 37 00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:46,880 It is my pleasure. 38 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,890 And I'm excited to even to share with them how we 39 00:01:48,890 --> 00:01:52,340 met, because I think it's so awesome when you are expanding 40 00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:55,640 out into the world and sharing yourself when you meet incredible 41 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,490 people and the law of attraction just really works. 42 00:01:58,580 --> 00:01:59,360 It's so True. 43 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,350 Well, why don't you take it away? 44 00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:01,520 Why don't you share the story? 45 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:02,420 Okay, great. 46 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:07,190 So I was on my path of how do I get 47 00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:10,850 my message out to more people in a way that is 48 00:02:10,970 --> 00:02:12,350 the way I like to communicate? 49 00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:14,120 Cause I'm a very personable person. 50 00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:15,890 I am a speaker. 51 00:02:15,890 --> 00:02:17,240 I travel around, 52 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,710 I do in-person workshops. 53 00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:19,610 I do classes. 54 00:02:19,610 --> 00:02:23,300 I have an entire infrastructure of ways that I engage people. 55 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:24,440 So that's my passion. 56 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:25,910 I love to be with people. 57 00:02:26,030 --> 00:02:28,400 And so one of the platforms that I learned about was 58 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,310 a platform called Periscope and Kim Garst, 59 00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:33,170 who is an incredible internet, 60 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,240 social media strategist, 61 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,070 and excellent businessperson. 62 00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:40,790 She had a program and I had signed up for a 63 00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:43,070 few of her small programs and thought, 64 00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:46,280 wow, this woman just delivers and delivers and delivers great value. 65 00:02:46,430 --> 00:02:48,560 And then she offered a VIP program. 66 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,420 And in this program it was going to be a very 67 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,650 select few people. 68 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,840 And that is where you and I met. 69 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,510 And it was such a pleasure because you never know in 70 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,380 those small groups, 71 00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:59,350 if you're going to meet a bunch of people that in 72 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,310 it for themselves, 73 00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:02,800 or if you're actually going to have the beautiful fortune of 74 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,250 meeting people who are change makers and desiring to make a 75 00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:07,120 difference for others. 76 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,800 And Kim even says to this day, 77 00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:11,080 we were her very first VIP group. 78 00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:14,470 And she said it was the most cohesive tight group. 79 00:03:14,470 --> 00:03:15,460 You guys are friends. 80 00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:16,900 You guys stay in touch with each other. 81 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,760 You guys support each other's business growth. 82 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,130 So I feel honored that I got to be part of 83 00:03:21,130 --> 00:03:23,740 that first group and that I got to meet a person 84 00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:25,300 so dynamic as you. 85 00:03:25,590 --> 00:03:26,610 Oh, you're so sweet. 86 00:03:26,610 --> 00:03:27,840 And the feeling is mutual. 87 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,190 We were really fortunate. 88 00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:32,190 I don't know how everything collided as it did, 89 00:03:32,190 --> 00:03:34,050 but we had a fabulous group there. 90 00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:36,720 Yeah. I'm going to dive in because I don't want to 91 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:37,710 take any more time. 92 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:40,260 I want to get to all of your information and everything 93 00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:41,220 that you can share. 94 00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:43,080 And as our listeners know, 95 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,980 we like to start off and talk about a motivational candle. 96 00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:49,260 This helps give us an inner look at you, 97 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:52,590 Monica, and just an indirect way of understanding what you're all 98 00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:55,770 about. So if you were to envision a candle, 99 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,330 what color would it be? 100 00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,430 And what would the quote be on that candle? 101 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,600 So my favorite color and it's the color I have a 102 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,220 master's in spiritual psychology. 103 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:08,520 And so the color of spirituality is the color purple. 104 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,870 So it would be a very deep, 105 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,310 warm purple color. 106 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,780 And then the quote. 107 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,440 So I'm a big fan of deep thinkers. 108 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,310 I'm a deep thinker, 109 00:04:17,310 --> 00:04:18,390 I think of myself. 110 00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:19,260 And so I'm very, 111 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,070 I'm a fan of that. 112 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,110 So I don't know if you've ever heard of Rumi has 113 00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:24,300 a 13th century Sufi mystic, 114 00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:27,630 but his quote is when you go through a hard period, 115 00:04:27,630 --> 00:04:29,790 when everything seems to oppose you, 116 00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:32,790 when you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, 117 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:37,290 never give up because it is the time and place that 118 00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:39,480 the course will divert. 119 00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:43,020 So I love that because it's all about you sometimes can 120 00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:44,160 be confronted in life. 121 00:04:44,190 --> 00:04:47,340 That's going to be happening as you stretch and grow and 122 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:48,480 desire new things. 123 00:04:48,630 --> 00:04:49,980 But if you stay the course, 124 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:50,910 if you never give up, 125 00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:54,060 if you try just one more step the opportunity for the 126 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:57,720 course to change its path and be there to serve you 127 00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:58,920 is very, 128 00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:01,500 I've never heard that. 129 00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:02,640 And I really, 130 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,670 really like it because when you're so low, 131 00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:07,290 you just think that it's over. 132 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,220 You can't do any more. 133 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,690 You can't go any further. 134 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,450 If you could pull on this type of quote and move 135 00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:13,200 past it, 136 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,290 that may be where the bright light starts to shine. 137 00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:16,980 That's right. 138 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,260 You don't want to just stop so wonderful. 139 00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:20,700 I have not heard that before. 140 00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,050 And I really like it. 141 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,450 One of the reasons I wanted to get you on Monica 142 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:25,320 is you know, 143 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,520 that a lot of our listeners, 144 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,490 cause we've talked about this already are looking at starting a 145 00:05:29,490 --> 00:05:32,370 business or maybe they have started a business and they've gotten 146 00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:35,970 to a place where they're now reality is setting in and 147 00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,500 they're starting to see struggles. 148 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,790 And the question is, 149 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:41,460 am I really the one to be able to do this 150 00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:42,180 anyway, you know, 151 00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:45,270 all those doubts that we all have start coming in. 152 00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:48,870 And one of the things you always talk about is be 153 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:52,650 your greatness for someone in that situation who doesn't know where 154 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:53,190 to start, 155 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,670 doesn't feel like they're great enough to be able to do 156 00:05:56,670 --> 00:05:59,210 something. What would you say to those type of people? 157 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,690 What I say to people all the time, 158 00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:05,170 and this is it's a tricky one because depending on where 159 00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,660 you're at psychologically inside of yourself, 160 00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:09,490 your relationship to yourself, 161 00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:12,310 determines what your experience in life is. 162 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,370 So we often think life is happening to me, 163 00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:18,520 but really life is a reflection of the experience and the 164 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,860 point of view and the thoughts and the judgments and the 165 00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:23,320 perceptions that you have inside of yourself. 166 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:25,720 And so what I love to start with with people is 167 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,860 to have them consider that what if it was true beyond 168 00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:32,620 the shadow of a doubt for them that they are the 169 00:06:32,650 --> 00:06:35,410 only carbon copy of them on the planet. 170 00:06:35,740 --> 00:06:37,960 That's a pretty easy thing for people to consider. 171 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:38,440 Like, yeah, 172 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,450 I've never seen another one of me and I've never heard 173 00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:42,220 that there's an exact replica of me. 174 00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:43,270 And as far as I know, 175 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,260 I've never been cloned. 176 00:06:44,260 --> 00:06:44,920 So yeah, 177 00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:45,280 I could, 178 00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:46,570 I could come to terms with it. 179 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,400 I'm the only one of me on the planet. 180 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,020 And so if that's true, 181 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,400 then isn't it also possible that you're the only one of 182 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,920 you that has the gifts you have in the way that 183 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,230 you have them to be delivered only the way, 184 00:06:59,230 --> 00:06:59,590 you know, 185 00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:03,040 how, and so when people begin to consider that question, 186 00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,260 all of a sudden what comes forward for them as well? 187 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,290 Yeah, I guess so I just never looked at myself or 188 00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:10,390 looked at the things that I know or do as a 189 00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:13,270 gift. So that's where a lot of the work begins is 190 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,430 really taking a moment. 191 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:15,760 You know, 192 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,550 we get confronted sometimes by the really big question, 193 00:07:18,550 --> 00:07:20,170 what's your purpose on the planet, 194 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,730 but it's not about your purpose. 195 00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:24,460 It's about how you naturally already serve. 196 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,050 And as you start to see, 197 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,660 what is the thing that most people compliment you for? 198 00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:31,150 What is the thing that comes the easiest to you to 199 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:31,570 do that? 200 00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:34,690 You probably value very little because you take for granted how 201 00:07:34,690 --> 00:07:35,590 easy it is for you. 202 00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:38,140 These are the kinds of things that are the very essence 203 00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:39,760 of people's gifts on the planet. 204 00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:41,380 And when they stop to realize, 205 00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:42,340 Oh my gosh, 206 00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:43,960 I never looked at it that way. 207 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,040 That is true. 208 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,570 Then they can start to cultivate. 209 00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:47,860 How would I share that? 210 00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:48,970 How would I use that? 211 00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:50,710 How would I maximize on that? 212 00:07:50,710 --> 00:07:53,440 How would I leverage that in my life and my business 213 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,640 and my communication. 214 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,570 And all of a sudden, 215 00:07:55,570 --> 00:07:58,120 you start to see people's light bulb turned on like, 216 00:07:58,210 --> 00:08:01,660 Oh, if I do what I love and I just do 217 00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:02,350 it more. 218 00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:03,310 And I use that, 219 00:08:03,310 --> 00:08:06,550 knowing that I have as my foundation, 220 00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:08,020 as my reassurance, 221 00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:10,120 as my drive and incentive, 222 00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:12,940 well, I won't be lost because it's inherent to me. 223 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:14,470 It's what I know myself to do. 224 00:08:14,470 --> 00:08:15,940 It's what I know myself to be. 225 00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:17,200 And in those moments, 226 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:21,220 people really have kind of like that aha eye opening experience 227 00:08:21,220 --> 00:08:22,450 of, wow, 228 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,420 I just haven't had my focus or my perception on the 229 00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,740 thing that will make a difference. 230 00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:30,490 I've spent more time being self-critical That's very potent. 231 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,670 And I think because a lot of people are creators. 232 00:08:33,670 --> 00:08:36,910 So you're talking a lot about just human natural traits that 233 00:08:36,910 --> 00:08:38,170 you have natural abilities. 234 00:08:38,170 --> 00:08:38,980 And to your point, 235 00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:42,100 that people don't put a lot of weight into it because 236 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,360 it seems to come so easy. 237 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:43,870 So you think, 238 00:08:43,870 --> 00:08:44,440 well, you know, 239 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:45,430 this is so easy for me. 240 00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:47,350 It's easy for everybody else too. 241 00:08:47,890 --> 00:08:48,550 It's not true. 242 00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:48,760 I mean, 243 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,590 to listen to what Monica is saying here, 244 00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:53,320 because whatever you have in think back, 245 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:55,830 those of you who have been listening on podcast for a 246 00:08:55,830 --> 00:08:56,430 long time, 247 00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:59,760 we often talk about people who are finding their talents and 248 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:00,780 what they really want to do. 249 00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:03,360 And a lot of it goes back to a seed that 250 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,800 was placed in childhood. 251 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,800 Something that they really love from way back when they were 252 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,810 younger. So think for yourselves too, 253 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,890 within you, 254 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:15,690 what are things that people compliment you on personality wise that 255 00:09:15,690 --> 00:09:17,550 combines with then your art, 256 00:09:17,550 --> 00:09:18,330 your craft, 257 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,020 your business, 258 00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,940 passion that you're pulling forward. 259 00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:22,320 What would you say Monica, 260 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,610 about the combination of that? 261 00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:25,800 Because you are talking about personality, 262 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,330 specific traits. 263 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,550 A lot of our listeners are creators, 264 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,100 so they're making jewelry and they're making candles. 265 00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:34,380 How would you merge both of those together? 266 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,360 So the personality with the product, 267 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:40,280 Well, there's an essence to a person's creative expression. 268 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:43,790 So some people do art because it makes them feel calm. 269 00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:47,210 Some people use their creativity to make other people happy. 270 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:51,080 So it's getting to the source of what is the spark 271 00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:53,570 of your creative genius of your creative expression? 272 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:54,530 I'm a painter. 273 00:09:54,530 --> 00:09:56,090 I was an art major at UCLA. 274 00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,610 I was the first ever dual art major. 275 00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:01,880 I changed the rules at UCLA because I was so adamant. 276 00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:04,340 I wanted to be a reconstructive facial surgeon. 277 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,830 And so I wanted to do medical illustration so that you 278 00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:08,420 could understand and study, 279 00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,960 how do you use the dramatics and the artistry of the 280 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:15,980 human face while also understanding the science behind it and the 281 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:16,820 medical behind it. 282 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,520 And so that desire for me, 283 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:19,730 you know, 284 00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:23,840 I was right there marrying my desire for impact and making 285 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,000 a difference for people and having them have a different quality 286 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,150 of life with my desire for aesthetics and my desire for 287 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:33,350 creativity. And if I hadn't had the drive underneath to make 288 00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:36,470 the difference for people than my art may have just been 289 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:37,040 a hobby, 290 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,470 but it was because I was so enthusiastic. 291 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:40,970 I was so persistent. 292 00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:44,180 I was so determined to make a difference for people. 293 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,290 And lo and behold, 294 00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:47,060 I didn't actually become a doctor. 295 00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:47,810 I'm now, 296 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:48,140 you know, 297 00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:50,060 a business consultant and a life strategist. 298 00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:52,850 So I use my skills still to make the difference, 299 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,140 but it was that essence, 300 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:55,190 what sources, 301 00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:59,330 the desire to creatively express myself that made the difference in 302 00:10:59,330 --> 00:11:00,560 everything that I've ever done. 303 00:11:00,590 --> 00:11:02,930 It stretched me beyond what was comfortable. 304 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:06,620 It's had me learn and live and grow myself, 305 00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:07,340 my confidence, 306 00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:08,000 my courage, 307 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,260 my desire, 308 00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:11,180 and willingness to trial and error. 309 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,530 And Bernay Brown. 310 00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:13,700 I don't know if you know who that is, 311 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,290 but she has a beautiful Ted talk. 312 00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:17,840 She's been interviewed on SuperSoul Sunday by Oprah. 313 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,180 She has a lot of really great programs and she has 314 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:20,900 three books out. 315 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:25,490 She's actually a professor and her primary study was sociology. 316 00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:28,310 And what she says is if you really want to rise 317 00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:29,450 strong in your life, 318 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,760 it's really important to fail, 319 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,010 to get up and to try again. 320 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,770 And she breaks it down to such a simple picture to 321 00:11:36,770 --> 00:11:39,290 fail, to get up and to try again. 322 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,020 So when you're wanting to express yourself creatively, 323 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:43,670 if you aren't willing to fail, 324 00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:45,590 even in your creative expression. 325 00:11:45,590 --> 00:11:46,160 So, you know, 326 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,840 trying, if you're a jeweler at trying new stones or new 327 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,430 colors or new methodologies on to create the jewelry, 328 00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:57,280 if you're a painter you're creating masterpieces. 329 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,220 If you don't try new ways to blend things or new 330 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:01,690 ways to combine things, 331 00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:04,630 the possibility is you may actually even get bored with your 332 00:12:04,630 --> 00:12:05,410 art yourself. 333 00:12:05,530 --> 00:12:08,230 But when you understand where you're coming from and you are 334 00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:10,030 willing to try new things, 335 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,650 that's where it gets for me, 336 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,000 super exciting. 337 00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:17,260 And I become less rigid about the way that it has 338 00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:20,020 to be so less of a perfectionist and I become way 339 00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:21,820 more flexible to consider, 340 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:22,390 Oh my gosh, 341 00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:23,680 what else could I add? 342 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:24,610 And how will it serve? 343 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,120 That's the excitement of the creativity, 344 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,070 right? But you have to be comfortable with, 345 00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:30,030 you're going to do something. 346 00:12:30,030 --> 00:12:33,510 Maybe you're finding a new material or you're venturing out is 347 00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:35,640 you're saying just in a new way, 348 00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:38,910 you have to be ready and comfortable that maybe it won't 349 00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:39,540 work out, 350 00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:42,780 but that doesn't mean your whole plan needs to be tabled 351 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,430 or that you are a failure. 352 00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:47,190 Right. I want to go back just for a second. 353 00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:51,000 So you actually were looking at going into a different career, 354 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,920 and then it sounds like you kind of took a turn 355 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:53,910 and did something else. 356 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,000 Talk to us a little bit about the evolution of your 357 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,650 career path and how you landed, 358 00:12:58,650 --> 00:12:59,490 where you are today. 359 00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:02,220 When we talk about all of the careers that I've had, 360 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:03,870 it's definitely a windy story, 361 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:04,620 a windy path, 362 00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:07,380 because I've taken a lot of different turns. 363 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:10,350 And the story really starts when I was four years old, 364 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:14,490 my grandmother had cataracts and hearing AIDS and I wanted to 365 00:13:14,490 --> 00:13:16,830 fix her ears and her eyes. 366 00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:20,280 I wanted to invent a laser that would fix her ear 367 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,650 so she could hear and fix her eyes so she could 368 00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:25,860 see, and then she would be healed and everything would be 369 00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:27,180 fine. And for me, 370 00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,320 that made a lot of sense. 371 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,180 Like that's how I can help my grandmother. 372 00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:32,460 And I always was looking to help people. 373 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:33,690 How do I make their life better? 374 00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:34,800 How do I make them happier? 375 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,830 How do I make everything that they need more available to 376 00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:41,460 them? And I also had a really unique gift when I 377 00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:44,070 was little and over the years, 378 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,820 I got really scared of showing it and closed it down 379 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:50,070 and had to reopen it again. 380 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:54,630 That gift was that I could hear people say thoughts without 381 00:13:54,630 --> 00:13:55,350 them speaking, 382 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,350 but when you're four and you have a gift like that, 383 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,500 and you share with people what you heard, 384 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:04,110 you don't always realize that they didn't talk. 385 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,520 So I had a couple of scenarios where I shared with 386 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,010 someone, something that I heard and I asked them why they 387 00:14:11,010 --> 00:14:14,700 felt that way about themselves and it flustered them and it 388 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:15,480 annoyed them. 389 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,420 And they got very upset and they spoke to my father. 390 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:21,270 I had done it with my dad and my father came 391 00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:22,530 to me and finally said, 392 00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:24,150 you can't do this anymore. 393 00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,760 And at that moment, 394 00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:27,840 a very deep, 395 00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:29,340 important part of me, 396 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:30,720 my creative expression, 397 00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:33,300 my desire to please my desire to help people, 398 00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:35,250 all of a sudden became, 399 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,350 it's not safe to do that here. 400 00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:40,980 So I say that as a precursor to the journey that 401 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,630 I then set up in front of myself. 402 00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:44,130 So then I thought, 403 00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:46,140 well, if what I was doing naturally, 404 00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:47,400 what came to me naturally, 405 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,080 wasn't safe and wasn't okay. 406 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,470 And wasn't acceptable or appropriate. 407 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:52,490 According to my dad, 408 00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:55,670 then who did I need to become for my dad and 409 00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:56,720 others to love me. 410 00:14:56,930 --> 00:15:00,110 So everything that I did was about that. 411 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,850 I became the fastest runner. 412 00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:03,320 I became the best student. 413 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,720 Everything was about how can I get the accolade? 414 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:06,860 How can I please someone? 415 00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:09,620 How can I get love through the things that I do? 416 00:15:09,890 --> 00:15:12,290 But the desire underneath never went away. 417 00:15:12,290 --> 00:15:14,000 I always wanted to help people. 418 00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:16,130 So then I went into, 419 00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:18,890 I interned in hospitals from the age of 12 until the 420 00:15:18,890 --> 00:15:19,790 age of 18. 421 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,730 I took the MCAT and I did terrible on it. 422 00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:24,860 And literally when you think that, 423 00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:25,970 you know what you're going to be, 424 00:15:25,970 --> 00:15:28,250 I thought I was going to be a reconstructive facial surgeon 425 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:30,950 and help burn victims and children that were born with birth 426 00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:34,010 defects. So it was a very lofty goal from the age 427 00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:34,850 of four to 14. 428 00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,320 So for 14 years, 429 00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:37,700 I talked about that. 430 00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,200 I, in turn, 431 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,680 I did everything that was so unusual for a person that 432 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:43,580 young to know, 433 00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:45,830 but when I didn't do well on the M cat being 434 00:15:45,830 --> 00:15:48,110 the perfectionist that I was literally, 435 00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:49,700 my life came to an end. 436 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:50,420 I felt like, 437 00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,910 what purpose do I have anymore for being here? 438 00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:54,710 So I packed myself up, 439 00:15:54,770 --> 00:15:58,010 got on a plane with a one-year open-ended ticket to Europe 440 00:15:58,130 --> 00:15:59,270 while I was in Europe, 441 00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:02,030 traveling around and re establishing, 442 00:16:02,030 --> 00:16:02,870 like, who am I? 443 00:16:02,870 --> 00:16:03,860 And why do I matter? 444 00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:06,920 And, and really what I was doing is losing myself because 445 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,810 I just didn't have a definition anymore. 446 00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:09,980 And while I was over there, 447 00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:13,100 I got a call that a guy named John Lasseter was 448 00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:14,330 looking for an assistant. 449 00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:16,520 And the question that I got in that call was, 450 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:17,630 do you know who this guy, 451 00:16:17,630 --> 00:16:18,470 John Laster is? 452 00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:18,770 I said, 453 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:19,820 no, I have no idea who it is. 454 00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:21,140 And the next question was, 455 00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:23,090 well, do you know what toy story is? 456 00:16:23,390 --> 00:16:23,780 And I said, 457 00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:24,650 well, I've heard of it, 458 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,470 but I think it's a cartoon or like an animation. 459 00:16:27,590 --> 00:16:28,040 And they're like, 460 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,430 great. So a few weeks later I was on a plane 461 00:16:31,430 --> 00:16:36,320 back to Northern California to be interviewed and to become John 462 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,550 Lasseter's assistant. 463 00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:39,530 Now, if you don't know who John Laster is, 464 00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:42,320 he is one of the founders of Pixar and he now 465 00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:45,200 runs Disney animation and Imagineering. 466 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,050 And they likened him to our modern day, 467 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:48,740 Walt Disney. 468 00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:51,620 So he is one of the most brilliant people ever. 469 00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:55,010 And his most important piece of advice for me was the 470 00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:56,240 story comes first, 471 00:16:56,570 --> 00:16:57,920 whatever there is in life, 472 00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,120 the story comes first, 473 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,680 people connect to the story. 474 00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:03,470 So the rest of the job choices that I had in 475 00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:07,220 my life really were defined by the stories that I wanted 476 00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:08,210 to have in my life. 477 00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:09,560 So needless to say, 478 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,850 I didn't go to medical school. 479 00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:13,040 I actually went into video editing, 480 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,400 learning from the animation and working on feature films. 481 00:17:16,580 --> 00:17:19,190 And what I did in my editing is I told people 482 00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:23,180 stories. And one day I interviewed a man. 483 00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:26,870 I worked for Northrop Grumman and TRW in space technology and 484 00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:28,010 military defense. 485 00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:30,740 And I interviewed a man who had given 50 years of 486 00:17:30,740 --> 00:17:36,080 his life to bring the Paulo astronauts home and to develop 487 00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:38,480 different ways to get people into space. 488 00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:40,070 And in the interview, 489 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,730 it became so apparent to me that I was not on 490 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,420 my path. 491 00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:45,920 I was off course. 492 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:50,790 And it was because I wasn't spending time developing people. 493 00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:54,120 I was spending time telling other people's stories. 494 00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:57,120 So it was time for me to start working with people 495 00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,000 on their stories rather than being behind the scenes, 496 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,930 telling their stories. 497 00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:04,140 So I left my corporate job and I started training and 498 00:18:04,140 --> 00:18:05,250 learning to be a coach. 499 00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:08,190 So I ended up getting a master's in spiritual psychology. 500 00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:12,150 And I decided with the masters that it was time for 501 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:16,260 me to start really honing in on the gifts that I 502 00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:18,300 had so long ago, 503 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:21,480 buried and put away after being told by my father that 504 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,470 they were inappropriate. 505 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,870 But before I got that masters, 506 00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:26,730 there's one other part of the story. 507 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,470 And this is kind of why the story is a long 508 00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:31,680 one. I got hit by a truck in a crosswalk as 509 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,430 a pedestrian, 510 00:18:32,460 --> 00:18:34,470 the truck was going 35 miles an hour. 511 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:35,280 It hit me. 512 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,120 I never saw it. 513 00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:38,070 It threw me 25 feet near. 514 00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:38,790 I landed, 515 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:40,020 but when I got hit, 516 00:18:40,170 --> 00:18:41,520 it kicked me out of my body. 517 00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,920 I call it my near-death experience. 518 00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:46,770 And I watched the entire event from above. 519 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,080 It was then for the next four months. 520 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,460 So no broken bones, 521 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,190 but internally my entire system, 522 00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:55,410 circulatory, digestion nurses, 523 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,270 all of it went to cahoots. 524 00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:59,910 So I was in bed for four months. 525 00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,230 And during that time, 526 00:19:01,230 --> 00:19:03,570 you could imagine how frustrating it is when you are an 527 00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:07,620 ambitious go getter type person with big dreams and big aspirations 528 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:08,580 to be stuck in bed. 529 00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:11,610 And all of a sudden I had what I call my 530 00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:13,740 God moment up until that point. 531 00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,180 I didn't really believe in God. 532 00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,590 I'm really a spiritual person, 533 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:17,580 not a religious person. 534 00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:18,960 So I didn't believe in like, 535 00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:20,820 God is the guy up the stairs. 536 00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:24,060 What I believed in was there's this universal connection, 537 00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,430 but all of a sudden I had this relationship. 538 00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:28,080 I had a voice that was coming to me. 539 00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:29,430 And when I was hit, 540 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:30,960 I was asked to question. 541 00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:33,960 The question that I was asked is what do you want? 542 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,600 And it was an interesting time in my life because I 543 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:41,850 was transitioning from the animation into wanting to do something more 544 00:19:41,850 --> 00:19:42,510 with my life. 545 00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:44,310 So what did I want? 546 00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:46,260 I didn't want to be here anymore. 547 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,300 I didn't want to waste my talents anymore. 548 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,700 I didn't want to do things frivolously anymore. 549 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,890 And so the one thing that I knew that I hadn't 550 00:19:52,890 --> 00:19:54,840 fulfilled in my life yet was being a mom. 551 00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:56,280 I want to be a mom. 552 00:19:56,910 --> 00:19:58,800 And the voice asked again, 553 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,030 seven more times, 554 00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:01,530 are you sure? 555 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:02,820 Yes. I'm sure. 556 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,510 Are you sure? 557 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,260 Yes. I'm sure. 558 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:04,770 Are you sure? 559 00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:05,820 And finally, 560 00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:07,680 I got very annoyed and I'm like, 561 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,940 of course I'm sure like, 562 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,320 and not kidding me. 563 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,330 Like I was having this dialogue here. 564 00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:15,210 And so all of a sudden I find myself back into 565 00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:15,810 my body, 566 00:20:15,810 --> 00:20:17,970 come back to life and then the four months in my 567 00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:18,720 bed starts. 568 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:19,530 Okay. Wow. 569 00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:21,630 So after that time, 570 00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:24,480 I then started doing my coaching. 571 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,890 Like I got on my path, 572 00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:27,090 I got my masters. 573 00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:27,540 I'm going, 574 00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:28,170 going, going. 575 00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:29,040 I'm meeting people. 576 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,000 I'm having clients. 577 00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:32,130 I'm helping people build their business. 578 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:37,770 And one day I realize that the request that I had, 579 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,050 and since then I had, 580 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:44,670 I had three kids and one day I was really questioning 581 00:20:44,670 --> 00:20:46,410 myself and really looking deep within. 582 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:47,920 And what I uncovered was, 583 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,910 well, my purpose is to serve people. 584 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:55,240 But how I do that is to act like a mother 585 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,110 for some people. 586 00:20:56,740 --> 00:21:01,180 So my entire career path was defined by a longing to 587 00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:04,270 make a difference and going way back to your very first 588 00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:05,110 question today, 589 00:21:05,110 --> 00:21:09,850 like, how can your audience really know no matter what comes 590 00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:10,420 in front of them, 591 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:11,560 no matter how hard it gets, 592 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:12,940 no matter what they're confronted by, 593 00:21:13,090 --> 00:21:15,910 how can they really know if they're on track or that 594 00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:17,770 it's worth whatever the blood, 595 00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:18,760 sweat, and tears. 596 00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:20,620 And when you know, 597 00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:23,560 and you reflect on and you ask yourself, 598 00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:25,210 what is it for? 599 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,010 Like at the end of all of this, 600 00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,660 if I did X, 601 00:21:29,230 --> 00:21:30,370 would that make it worth it? 602 00:21:30,820 --> 00:21:33,400 And they really get clear about what it is. 603 00:21:33,580 --> 00:21:36,610 That's the driver behind everything they've ever done, 604 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,980 why they've wanted to do the things they've done, 605 00:21:38,980 --> 00:21:40,540 why they've wanted to please people, 606 00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:42,730 why they wanted to go out on their own and start 607 00:21:42,730 --> 00:21:43,330 something new. 608 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,760 If they can really get to that core, 609 00:21:46,060 --> 00:21:49,150 it will begin like a domino effect to reveal all the 610 00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:51,130 ways in their life that they've always done that. 611 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:55,060 And it will so validate what their efforts are and why 612 00:21:55,090 --> 00:21:56,970 they should never give up Monica. 613 00:21:56,970 --> 00:21:59,070 That is a huge story. 614 00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:01,920 And so impactful in so many ways. 615 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,090 I've been sitting here writing notes. 616 00:22:03,090 --> 00:22:04,440 I have 7,000 617 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,460 questions for you, 618 00:22:05,730 --> 00:22:09,900 but, but before I just want to underline what you said, 619 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:11,340 quote, unquote, 620 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,340 if I did this in the end, 621 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,020 would it have been worth it? 622 00:22:16,260 --> 00:22:18,480 Remember that you guys give business owners. 623 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:18,690 I mean, 624 00:22:18,690 --> 00:22:21,300 I'm going to be now thinking about that this afternoon. 625 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:22,440 And as I edit this, 626 00:22:22,470 --> 00:22:26,730 because that is a really powerful sentence that I want everyone 627 00:22:26,730 --> 00:22:28,470 to reflect on that Monica, 628 00:22:28,470 --> 00:22:29,610 I have to just ask you, 629 00:22:29,910 --> 00:22:31,800 how did your dad feel about all this? 630 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,890 He was the driver in the beginning for you to pursue 631 00:22:34,890 --> 00:22:36,090 and go in a different path. 632 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,690 And I would say back then the world was very rigid 633 00:22:39,690 --> 00:22:41,370 in terms of these are the things that you do. 634 00:22:41,370 --> 00:22:43,170 And these are the things that you don't do. 635 00:22:43,170 --> 00:22:46,080 So clearly he was looking out for your best interests at 636 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:46,680 the time, 637 00:22:46,890 --> 00:22:49,770 but you went through this whole journey that you've been talking 638 00:22:49,770 --> 00:22:54,180 about. And so how had he felt then about what you're 639 00:22:54,180 --> 00:22:57,480 doing? Cause you're going back to what you truly knew inside 640 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,750 yourself in your heart of hearts was the right thing. 641 00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:03,570 How has that all panned out with your relationship? 642 00:23:04,410 --> 00:23:05,280 A great question. 643 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:09,390 So, so my dad had a perspective and you're very accurate. 644 00:23:09,420 --> 00:23:10,440 Like back in the day, 645 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,280 it's pretty rigid. 646 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,810 And coming from Germany, 647 00:23:12,870 --> 00:23:14,640 every job you ever do, 648 00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:16,110 you have to go to school for. 649 00:23:16,110 --> 00:23:19,170 So from the janitor to the gas attendant, 650 00:23:19,170 --> 00:23:20,730 to the architect, 651 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:21,660 to the pilot, 652 00:23:21,690 --> 00:23:24,270 you have to get a degree in whatever you choose to 653 00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:25,980 do. So once you choose, 654 00:23:26,010 --> 00:23:27,240 you're kind of on that path, 655 00:23:27,270 --> 00:23:28,050 you're kind of stuck. 656 00:23:28,260 --> 00:23:30,480 And in America you don't have that limitation. 657 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,400 You can choose whatever you want and you can change your 658 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,630 mind a mile a minute. 659 00:23:33,930 --> 00:23:35,550 So for him, 660 00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:37,710 there were four things you could do to be successful. 661 00:23:37,740 --> 00:23:38,730 You could be a doctor. 662 00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:39,570 Oh good. 663 00:23:39,570 --> 00:23:41,550 I'm so glad that I was wanting to do that. 664 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:42,630 You could be a lawyer. 665 00:23:42,660 --> 00:23:44,220 I was a very good negotiator. 666 00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:44,760 You could be a, 667 00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:48,860 or you could be an MBA that rigid thought process. 668 00:23:48,890 --> 00:23:50,360 I like my whole life. 669 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:53,060 It was always like those were my four choices. 670 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,750 And so to have gone in a new direction, 671 00:23:56,750 --> 00:23:59,690 that was really when I journeyed to Europe with a backpack 672 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:00,470 by myself, 673 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:04,070 it was really to define that I was no longer defined 674 00:24:04,070 --> 00:24:05,870 by my father's view of the world. 675 00:24:06,170 --> 00:24:09,260 And I had to leave myself and the way I saw 676 00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:12,800 the world and I had to be out in the wild 677 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:13,490 blue yonder, 678 00:24:13,490 --> 00:24:17,450 living an Epic adventure to discover my own voice and that 679 00:24:17,450 --> 00:24:20,270 it was safe for me to have my own desires, 680 00:24:20,270 --> 00:24:21,170 my own dreams, 681 00:24:21,170 --> 00:24:21,950 my own goals, 682 00:24:22,070 --> 00:24:24,020 and that at the end of the day, 683 00:24:24,170 --> 00:24:26,030 it was up to me to pursue it. 684 00:24:26,030 --> 00:24:27,950 And it was up to me to decide whether it was 685 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,810 in alignment with who I really am. 686 00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:33,590 So as your audience and your listener may be diving into 687 00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:36,980 something brand new and may have a lot of naysayers around 688 00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:37,790 them in their life. 689 00:24:37,940 --> 00:24:40,490 One of the things I would encourage them to do is 690 00:24:40,490 --> 00:24:43,370 to ask themselves who are my champions, 691 00:24:43,460 --> 00:24:46,190 who are the people that I have in my life. 692 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,430 That no matter what I choose are going to cheer for 693 00:24:49,430 --> 00:24:51,440 me are going to love me through it are going to 694 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:52,040 encourage me, 695 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,290 are going to even help me find resources to help me 696 00:24:54,290 --> 00:24:55,700 clarify what I'm doing. 697 00:24:55,820 --> 00:24:58,430 And if you find that you really don't have many of 698 00:24:58,430 --> 00:24:59,780 those, then to me, 699 00:24:59,780 --> 00:25:01,280 that's the first thing you got to go do. 700 00:25:01,310 --> 00:25:03,980 You got to start meeting and putting yourself in an environment. 701 00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:06,500 So it would be like signing up for a podcast that 702 00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:09,740 allows you to listen to people that are positive and encouraging 703 00:25:09,890 --> 00:25:12,680 in fields that are like the kinds of areas you want 704 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:13,460 to make a difference. 705 00:25:13,610 --> 00:25:15,170 It would be making new friends. 706 00:25:15,170 --> 00:25:18,230 It would be going to your local chamber of commerce or 707 00:25:18,230 --> 00:25:20,180 lectures or listening to Ted talks, 708 00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:23,840 find your community because the moment you do, 709 00:25:23,870 --> 00:25:25,250 you won't feel alone. 710 00:25:25,430 --> 00:25:26,810 You won't feel lost. 711 00:25:27,050 --> 00:25:30,650 And you'll have all these people who are either behind you 712 00:25:30,650 --> 00:25:33,170 in the path that you're on or ahead of you and 713 00:25:33,170 --> 00:25:34,580 those people that are behind you, 714 00:25:34,580 --> 00:25:35,570 you can champion. 715 00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:37,430 So that'll boost your confidence. 716 00:25:37,550 --> 00:25:40,160 And those that are ahead of you will be your leverage 717 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,750 points. They'll be your guides. 718 00:25:41,780 --> 00:25:42,800 There'll be your mentors. 719 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,510 They'll be your greatest assets. 720 00:25:44,990 --> 00:25:48,050 So that's a really important part of this because if I 721 00:25:48,050 --> 00:25:51,830 had listened to my father and only lived from his disappointment, 722 00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:56,630 I probably would still be pursuing my medical experience. 723 00:25:56,780 --> 00:25:58,430 And I don't know how happy I would be, 724 00:25:58,670 --> 00:26:00,860 but because something inside of me said, 725 00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:03,740 you're here for something really big stop ignoring that. 726 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,230 And I just had to get really honest with myself and 727 00:26:06,230 --> 00:26:07,340 listen. And by the way, 728 00:26:07,340 --> 00:26:09,530 be knocked down a whole bunch of times, 729 00:26:09,530 --> 00:26:10,130 like I said, 730 00:26:10,130 --> 00:26:10,850 the Bernay Brown, 731 00:26:10,850 --> 00:26:11,810 like fail, 732 00:26:11,990 --> 00:26:12,680 get up, 733 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:13,580 try again. 734 00:26:13,580 --> 00:26:16,880 I had to be willing to do that and not judge 735 00:26:17,030 --> 00:26:20,660 that every time I failed that that was the final failure. 736 00:26:20,660 --> 00:26:21,680 Like now I'm going to die. 737 00:26:22,100 --> 00:26:23,300 I really had to say, 738 00:26:23,420 --> 00:26:27,050 it's just one more failure that allows me the access to 739 00:26:27,050 --> 00:26:27,800 the lesson. 740 00:26:27,830 --> 00:26:29,360 That's going to make the difference next. 741 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,000 Give biz listeners, 742 00:26:31,030 --> 00:26:32,890 are you living your true, 743 00:26:32,890 --> 00:26:33,820 authentic life? 744 00:26:33,820 --> 00:26:37,150 Is there something that underneath has been a desire of yours 745 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:38,950 for your whole life? 746 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,760 And it's crazy for me to listen to this Monaca that 747 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,840 you went so many years just having to squash what you 748 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,660 were really feeling for nobody's fault. 749 00:26:48,660 --> 00:26:48,840 I mean, 750 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,040 everyone's doing the right thing, 751 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,540 right? What they think they need to be doing, 752 00:26:51,540 --> 00:26:54,090 right? But GIF is listeners. 753 00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:55,860 Is this something similar for you? 754 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,840 Listen to what Monaco's talking about. 755 00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:00,600 Be true to yourself in terms of at the end was 756 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:01,770 everything worth it. 757 00:27:02,130 --> 00:27:04,530 And if you see something that you're wanting to do differently, 758 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,120 go find that community. 759 00:27:06,300 --> 00:27:09,120 And hopefully the podcast here is helping you along the way. 760 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:10,830 If we're not the full community, 761 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,530 maybe we're part of your community because we're behind you and 762 00:27:13,530 --> 00:27:17,460 motivating you to push forward in whatever that dream is. 763 00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:21,180 Let's talk a little bit about this storytelling for a second. 764 00:27:21,420 --> 00:27:21,600 You know, 765 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,150 you're talking about how you were storytelling in one way that 766 00:27:24,150 --> 00:27:26,340 really wasn't fulfilling what you needed. 767 00:27:26,340 --> 00:27:30,900 And then you started storytelling with getting people's true stories out 768 00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:33,910 there. I know there's a value in storytelling and, 769 00:27:33,910 --> 00:27:35,610 and it's talked about a lot these days, 770 00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:35,820 you know, 771 00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:37,830 with social media and blogs and all of that. 772 00:27:37,830 --> 00:27:40,380 Everyone resonates with stories. 773 00:27:40,830 --> 00:27:44,820 What have you found in terms of storytelling with what you're 774 00:27:44,820 --> 00:27:45,600 doing right now? 775 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,710 What's the big value Because I'm a business consultant and a 776 00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:49,610 life strategist. 777 00:27:49,610 --> 00:27:52,490 And the reason that I added into my title life strategist 778 00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:55,070 is because there's no business without you in it. 779 00:27:55,610 --> 00:27:56,990 So if you're in it, 780 00:27:57,020 --> 00:27:58,850 your life is involved in it. 781 00:27:59,150 --> 00:28:01,130 Your past your judgments, 782 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:02,720 your perceptions of the world, 783 00:28:02,750 --> 00:28:03,920 your criticisms, 784 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,290 or voices or thoughts inside of your own head, 785 00:28:06,410 --> 00:28:07,370 your capabilities, 786 00:28:07,370 --> 00:28:08,060 your skills, 787 00:28:08,060 --> 00:28:08,540 the people, 788 00:28:08,540 --> 00:28:08,930 you know, 789 00:28:08,930 --> 00:28:09,800 the difference you want to make. 790 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,790 All of that makes up what ends up becoming the expression 791 00:28:13,790 --> 00:28:14,630 of your business. 792 00:28:14,780 --> 00:28:17,750 So whether you sell a product or whether you create something, 793 00:28:18,020 --> 00:28:21,080 you are part of that creation. 794 00:28:21,470 --> 00:28:23,810 And so if you're having a good day, 795 00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:25,970 maybe you create things that are bright colors. 796 00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:27,080 And if you're having a bad day, 797 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,100 maybe it's a little darker, 798 00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:31,160 but the ominousness is more attractive to certain people that are 799 00:28:31,250 --> 00:28:33,560 wanting to buy from your wanting to engage with you. 800 00:28:33,770 --> 00:28:35,000 So for me, 801 00:28:35,180 --> 00:28:40,340 storytelling becomes a way for people to see themselves through the 802 00:28:40,340 --> 00:28:44,030 experience. If you don't tell a story and you just say 803 00:28:44,030 --> 00:28:44,570 to someone, 804 00:28:44,570 --> 00:28:44,990 well, you know, 805 00:28:44,990 --> 00:28:47,030 you should really think about doing this. 806 00:28:47,030 --> 00:28:49,490 Or when I hear you say that you're excited about starting 807 00:28:49,490 --> 00:28:49,940 a business, 808 00:28:49,940 --> 00:28:50,610 have you thought about, 809 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,790 you're going to have to get your website and you're going 810 00:28:52,790 --> 00:28:54,710 to have to get all of the social media and you're 811 00:28:54,710 --> 00:28:56,870 gonna have the whole long list of things. 812 00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:58,190 But if you tell a story, 813 00:28:58,190 --> 00:28:58,580 you know, 814 00:28:58,610 --> 00:29:02,240 I know a little bit about starting a business from scratch. 815 00:29:02,390 --> 00:29:05,660 I remember back when I started and there were so many 816 00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:06,740 questions that I had, 817 00:29:06,740 --> 00:29:09,290 and the fortunate thing is that I had a few people 818 00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:11,750 in my life at the time that were also starting businesses, 819 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,160 but they were a little bit ahead of me. 820 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,980 So I sat them down and I took about 30 minutes 821 00:29:15,980 --> 00:29:16,700 with each one of them. 822 00:29:16,850 --> 00:29:19,340 And the minute I start sharing with you, 823 00:29:19,610 --> 00:29:24,380 the mind begins to go and create and uncover and consider. 824 00:29:24,860 --> 00:29:27,230 Have you ever felt like when someone is giving you advice, 825 00:29:27,230 --> 00:29:28,760 like, thank you very much. 826 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,320 That sounds really good for you, 827 00:29:30,530 --> 00:29:32,570 but I don't know how much that applies to me. 828 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:33,770 Yeah, for sure. 829 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,910 And so that's part of the experience that I think people 830 00:29:37,940 --> 00:29:40,910 forget is they so are excited about what they have the, 831 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,020 that they're trying to tell people the value of what they 832 00:29:44,020 --> 00:29:47,980 bring, as opposed to bringing people along the journey with them. 833 00:29:48,070 --> 00:29:51,280 Because the moment a person feels like they're part of something, 834 00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:53,590 their desire to buy their desire, 835 00:29:53,590 --> 00:29:54,340 to be part of it, 836 00:29:54,340 --> 00:29:57,340 their desire to have access to it totally gross. 837 00:29:57,670 --> 00:30:00,280 But when they feel like you're selling them or they feel 838 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,720 like you're telling them what to do, 839 00:30:01,870 --> 00:30:05,440 it's a lot harder to see themselves in it without anybody's 840 00:30:05,650 --> 00:30:06,490 opinion about it. 841 00:30:07,030 --> 00:30:09,130 The other thing that I think it gives people access to 842 00:30:09,130 --> 00:30:12,280 is there are people that are perfectionists out in the world. 843 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,370 And I have been labeled as sometimes in my life being 844 00:30:15,370 --> 00:30:18,220 a perfectionist and have also called myself that at times. 845 00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:22,240 But I never agree with a label as the only thing. 846 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,980 There's not just a way that I am. 847 00:30:24,100 --> 00:30:26,020 I am not only a perfectionist, 848 00:30:26,020 --> 00:30:28,300 I'm so many other things involved in that. 849 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,060 And so there are certain times in my life where certain 850 00:30:31,060 --> 00:30:33,850 character traits are really important and necessary. 851 00:30:34,060 --> 00:30:35,950 But when we get feedback from people, 852 00:30:35,950 --> 00:30:37,510 sometimes that can build little, 853 00:30:37,510 --> 00:30:41,470 our desire to recognize that there is a gift inside of 854 00:30:41,470 --> 00:30:43,420 however we need to engage. 855 00:30:43,420 --> 00:30:46,150 So if I need to engage perfectionism so that I can 856 00:30:46,150 --> 00:30:48,010 get something really accurate, 857 00:30:48,100 --> 00:30:50,950 or if I'm being a little bit more precise about how 858 00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:52,900 I'm designing one of my posts, 859 00:30:52,900 --> 00:30:54,490 and I want things to line up, 860 00:30:54,670 --> 00:30:59,230 there's an intention behind lost because it's perfect or desire is 861 00:30:59,230 --> 00:31:01,840 to have it measured and equal and looking a certain way. 862 00:31:01,990 --> 00:31:04,360 It has a time and a place and a value in 863 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:08,140 it. And I think that if people really get that, 864 00:31:08,770 --> 00:31:09,670 who you are, 865 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,090 what you have to offer and how you offer it is 866 00:31:13,090 --> 00:31:15,700 a part of the journey that you're on and to be 867 00:31:15,700 --> 00:31:17,830 open and flexible to course correct. 868 00:31:17,830 --> 00:31:18,490 As you go, 869 00:31:18,700 --> 00:31:21,970 knowing that sometimes what you are trying to do, 870 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,010 you're going to accomplish and knock out of the park and 871 00:31:24,010 --> 00:31:25,000 it'll be a home run. 872 00:31:25,180 --> 00:31:27,790 And sometimes you're going to have so many at bats, 873 00:31:28,090 --> 00:31:31,060 but if you consider that you keep getting the opportunity to 874 00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:31,960 have the at-bat, 875 00:31:32,020 --> 00:31:33,130 you're going to get better. 876 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,260 But if you put the bat down and never go at 877 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:35,830 bat again, 878 00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:38,290 there's no chance of any getting better. 879 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:39,090 You are. 880 00:31:39,100 --> 00:31:40,080 So right. 881 00:31:40,590 --> 00:31:42,690 One more thing on this before we move on, 882 00:31:42,870 --> 00:31:45,570 I can just hear people's wheels turning and saying, 883 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,430 yeah, but I mean, 884 00:31:47,470 --> 00:31:49,140 this is really something that I want to do. 885 00:31:49,170 --> 00:31:50,040 Yeah. But, 886 00:31:50,250 --> 00:31:53,010 and I can go find a community for myself because I'm 887 00:31:53,070 --> 00:31:56,460 in member forums or Facebook groups that are like this, 888 00:31:56,730 --> 00:31:59,640 but my immediate physical group around me, 889 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,690 my family, 890 00:32:00,930 --> 00:32:02,220 my husband, 891 00:32:02,490 --> 00:32:02,850 all that, 892 00:32:02,850 --> 00:32:04,740 they have all the excuses in the world for that. 893 00:32:04,740 --> 00:32:06,360 Yeah. But I can't do that. 894 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,520 Now, what would you say to them? 895 00:32:09,510 --> 00:32:12,840 So the first thing that I'd say is that they have 896 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:17,550 an external perspective that they live a life outside in versus 897 00:32:17,550 --> 00:32:18,480 inside out. 898 00:32:19,140 --> 00:32:20,250 And you know, 899 00:32:20,820 --> 00:32:24,690 the key to changing anything is to recognize the pattern that 900 00:32:24,690 --> 00:32:25,140 you're in. 901 00:32:25,620 --> 00:32:29,070 So if you are able to get really honest with yourself 902 00:32:29,190 --> 00:32:32,130 and notice if I'm having a certain excuse, 903 00:32:32,460 --> 00:32:35,190 how often is that excuse coming up and what is it 904 00:32:35,190 --> 00:32:36,180 stopping me from? 905 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,310 Because we tend to have excuses that we are actually serving 906 00:32:40,310 --> 00:32:41,690 us. That's why we have them. 907 00:32:42,170 --> 00:32:44,630 But if we take a deeper look and say, 908 00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:45,050 you know what, 909 00:32:45,050 --> 00:32:46,670 let me get real with myself. 910 00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:48,260 Let me pause for just a moment. 911 00:32:48,260 --> 00:32:49,130 And let me consider, 912 00:32:49,250 --> 00:32:50,810 I've heard myself in the last week, 913 00:32:50,930 --> 00:32:52,220 tell four different people. 914 00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,710 Why I can't start something right now. 915 00:32:55,130 --> 00:32:57,590 And the first question I asked myself is, 916 00:32:57,650 --> 00:32:58,850 is that really true? 917 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:00,890 Or is there something I'm scared of? 918 00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:04,040 That's having me say that so that I can't be held 919 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:05,840 accountable to what I'm really up to. 920 00:33:06,470 --> 00:33:08,480 And if people take that time. 921 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,330 So, so number one soon to answer that question is to 922 00:33:11,330 --> 00:33:13,790 breathe and listen to yourself. 923 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,390 If you can become your best observer, 924 00:33:17,660 --> 00:33:19,130 like your own journalist, 925 00:33:19,130 --> 00:33:21,830 like someone that followed you around with a camera all day 926 00:33:21,830 --> 00:33:25,160 long and captured all those little moments that you pretend don't 927 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,160 happen. If you could really get honest with yourself, 928 00:33:28,460 --> 00:33:32,060 then you could have access to new choices because it's not 929 00:33:32,060 --> 00:33:33,590 wrong. When you make the excuse, 930 00:33:33,620 --> 00:33:35,360 you think it's protecting something. 931 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,100 So it serves you in that moment, 932 00:33:37,340 --> 00:33:39,740 but is it serving your long-term goal? 933 00:33:39,740 --> 00:33:41,180 Is it serving your dream? 934 00:33:41,180 --> 00:33:43,670 Are you succumbing to someone else's feedback? 935 00:33:43,820 --> 00:33:47,480 Sometimes there are things that we do in the privacy of 936 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:48,650 our own experience. 937 00:33:48,650 --> 00:33:51,770 We can't tell people yet until we reach a certain level 938 00:33:51,770 --> 00:33:52,490 of success, 939 00:33:52,790 --> 00:33:56,270 but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't still take strides towards 940 00:33:56,270 --> 00:33:59,600 it, that you shouldn't still brainstorm that you shouldn't still find 941 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:01,940 the people around you who will cheer for you and share 942 00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:03,650 with you how they broke through things. 943 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,040 Because what you believe you should be doing, 944 00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:07,790 you should, 945 00:34:08,420 --> 00:34:09,770 if you have the thought, 946 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,000 if you have the belief, 947 00:34:11,180 --> 00:34:13,130 it didn't just come to you for nothing. 948 00:34:13,370 --> 00:34:15,230 It came to you to be of service. 949 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,390 And so it's up to you to serve it. 950 00:34:17,390 --> 00:34:20,510 You're the only one that received that message in that way. 951 00:34:20,720 --> 00:34:23,030 So you're the only one right now that can serve it. 952 00:34:23,270 --> 00:34:27,050 So I implore people to constantly pay it forward. 953 00:34:27,050 --> 00:34:29,690 You are given these gifts of your greatness, 954 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:32,240 the moment you can see them and value them. 955 00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:33,560 It's a no brainer. 956 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,870 The only next step is to pay them forward. 957 00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:39,370 That makes so much sense when you say it that way. 958 00:34:39,940 --> 00:34:40,840 And in the end, 959 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,050 we're the ones living our lives and you are the one 960 00:34:44,050 --> 00:34:44,890 in control. 961 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,560 And you're the one who makes all the moves and yes, 962 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:48,190 the failures, 963 00:34:48,190 --> 00:34:51,130 but also all those successes on the way to whatever the 964 00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:54,880 vision is or whatever that passion is or whatever that greatness 965 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:58,540 Monaca. You're saying that we all really innately know within ourself. 966 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,330 Yes. And I'll say one other little amendment, 967 00:35:01,330 --> 00:35:02,230 because I actually, 968 00:35:02,230 --> 00:35:04,720 right now in one of my programs that I'm offering, 969 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,130 I do a course for moms. 970 00:35:06,130 --> 00:35:08,860 It's called mom Academy and there are these beautiful, 971 00:35:08,860 --> 00:35:10,390 amazing mompreneurs. 972 00:35:10,450 --> 00:35:11,170 And it's amazing. 973 00:35:11,170 --> 00:35:13,390 Cause I thought that I might get some moms that are 974 00:35:13,390 --> 00:35:14,290 not working moms. 975 00:35:14,290 --> 00:35:14,830 Then they're, 976 00:35:14,830 --> 00:35:15,040 you know, 977 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,110 just raising their children and wanting to be better moms. 978 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,510 But every one of the women that's in my program right 979 00:35:19,510 --> 00:35:20,440 now are all, 980 00:35:20,470 --> 00:35:23,380 they all are building their own businesses or they work for 981 00:35:23,380 --> 00:35:24,190 a corporation. 982 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:28,300 And several of them have said to me, 983 00:35:28,330 --> 00:35:30,730 I don't feel like I'm in control of my life. 984 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,830 I feel like I'm dictated by my job. 985 00:35:32,860 --> 00:35:34,600 I feel like I'm dictated by my husband. 986 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:36,070 I feel like I'm dictated by my kids. 987 00:35:36,070 --> 00:35:37,950 I feel like life happens to me. 988 00:35:38,100 --> 00:35:40,830 And so one of the things that I say to them 989 00:35:40,860 --> 00:35:45,600 is find what you feel nurtured by in the secrets of 990 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:46,680 your own space. 991 00:35:46,860 --> 00:35:48,210 No one has to know, 992 00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:52,380 but find the things that nurture you publicly or privately. 993 00:35:52,380 --> 00:35:54,900 If you have the fortune of being in a supportive environment, 994 00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:57,510 excellent than do it publicly so that you teach people around 995 00:35:57,510 --> 00:36:00,630 you. But if you can't because you feel like someone is 996 00:36:00,630 --> 00:36:03,030 out to thwart you or someone is out to tell you 997 00:36:03,030 --> 00:36:06,060 no then in the privacy of your own moments. 998 00:36:06,060 --> 00:36:09,150 So that could be writing into a journal that could be 999 00:36:09,150 --> 00:36:11,610 praying. That could be right before you go to bed, 1000 00:36:11,610 --> 00:36:13,110 setting a bedtime intention, 1001 00:36:13,230 --> 00:36:16,020 just really centering yourself inside of yourself. 1002 00:36:16,110 --> 00:36:19,350 So that one of the voices in your head is you 1003 00:36:19,380 --> 00:36:23,670 reassuring your dreams because it only takes one to actually keep 1004 00:36:23,670 --> 00:36:24,510 pursuing them. 1005 00:36:24,660 --> 00:36:27,390 But if we listen to everything outside of ourselves and we 1006 00:36:27,390 --> 00:36:28,320 buy into it, 1007 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,140 the volume gets turned lower and lower and lower. 1008 00:36:31,140 --> 00:36:33,930 And over time people end up believing that they really don't 1009 00:36:33,930 --> 00:36:36,300 have dominion and don't have control in their life. 1010 00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:37,910 You are so right. 1011 00:36:37,940 --> 00:36:38,810 Gift is listeners. 1012 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,910 I want all of you to go back and listen to 1013 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,800 this over and over again, 1014 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:43,940 very wise words. 1015 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:44,300 I mean, 1016 00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:45,590 my mind is going right now, 1017 00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:46,580 just within myself. 1018 00:36:46,610 --> 00:36:49,940 Just things that I need to kind of just pull aside, 1019 00:36:49,970 --> 00:36:52,850 give myself some private time and just think about based on 1020 00:36:52,850 --> 00:36:54,800 the way you're wording things and what you're saying in the 1021 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:56,300 messages that are coming through. 1022 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:57,350 Thank you so, 1023 00:36:57,350 --> 00:36:58,430 so much for that. 1024 00:36:58,760 --> 00:36:59,510 They're welcome. 1025 00:36:59,510 --> 00:37:00,200 I love it. 1026 00:37:00,890 --> 00:37:03,560 I want to move now into our reflection section. 1027 00:37:03,770 --> 00:37:06,230 And this is where we look at you as if you 1028 00:37:06,230 --> 00:37:08,000 haven't shared a lot already, 1029 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,330 right? But what other things have helped you to get to 1030 00:37:11,330 --> 00:37:12,830 the place that you are now? 1031 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,830 You've talked already about your natural traits being, 1032 00:37:15,830 --> 00:37:18,350 wanting to share and pay it forward for other people and 1033 00:37:18,350 --> 00:37:20,900 help other people find their true meaning. 1034 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,570 And you've talked a little bit about being a perfectionist. 1035 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,070 If you had to just pick one trait, 1036 00:37:25,070 --> 00:37:28,550 what is the single trait that has helped you to get 1037 00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:29,780 to where you are right now? 1038 00:37:30,830 --> 00:37:34,160 Love, love by far by far by far, 1039 00:37:34,220 --> 00:37:35,360 there was a morning. 1040 00:37:35,510 --> 00:37:36,830 It was four o'clock in the morning. 1041 00:37:37,070 --> 00:37:41,420 And I was doing the transition from being the video editor, 1042 00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:43,820 producer and director with my own production company, 1043 00:37:43,820 --> 00:37:47,150 into wanting to be a coach and a business consultant. 1044 00:37:47,150 --> 00:37:50,060 And I wasn't getting clients at the speed that I wanted 1045 00:37:50,060 --> 00:37:52,550 my business wasn't growing the way that I thought it should. 1046 00:37:52,580 --> 00:37:54,830 And I was very distraught. 1047 00:37:54,860 --> 00:37:56,510 And I guess for like a week or two, 1048 00:37:56,510 --> 00:37:58,820 I kind of had entered into a little depression and a 1049 00:37:58,820 --> 00:37:59,690 little bit of a funk. 1050 00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:02,480 And one morning at 4:00 AM, 1051 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,990 I woke up jolted up out of bed and just started 1052 00:38:05,990 --> 00:38:08,150 crying hysterically. 1053 00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:09,590 And you know, 1054 00:38:09,590 --> 00:38:11,120 a lot of times in life, 1055 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:12,410 when I would have tough times, 1056 00:38:12,410 --> 00:38:15,080 I would cry silently to myself so that I wouldn't wake 1057 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:15,770 up my husband, 1058 00:38:15,770 --> 00:38:18,890 but this time it was so big and so profound. 1059 00:38:18,890 --> 00:38:22,130 And so heart-wrenching for me that it woke my husband up 1060 00:38:22,370 --> 00:38:23,750 and he turned to me and he said, 1061 00:38:23,870 --> 00:38:24,710 is everything okay? 1062 00:38:24,710 --> 00:38:25,250 Are you hurt? 1063 00:38:26,050 --> 00:38:26,780 Are you okay? 1064 00:38:26,810 --> 00:38:27,380 And I said, 1065 00:38:27,590 --> 00:38:31,490 I just don't feel like the love I have inside of 1066 00:38:31,490 --> 00:38:34,520 me, people are receiving no one wants the love. 1067 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,540 I, and he said to me, 1068 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,840 well, would you be open to hearing what I see? 1069 00:38:41,650 --> 00:38:42,280 And it was like, 1070 00:38:42,700 --> 00:38:45,160 all I had inside of me was what I couldn't see 1071 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,500 and what I wasn't and what people didn't want for me. 1072 00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:48,670 So in that moment, 1073 00:38:48,670 --> 00:38:50,560 I had nothing else to reflect on. 1074 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,560 I felt like a failure and I felt there was nothing 1075 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:54,460 for me to offer. 1076 00:38:54,490 --> 00:38:55,000 So I said, 1077 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:55,810 yes, of course, 1078 00:38:55,810 --> 00:38:58,120 because I needed something to grasp onto. 1079 00:38:58,150 --> 00:38:58,780 And he said, 1080 00:38:58,990 --> 00:39:00,280 the word I would call you, 1081 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:04,150 Monica is walking love that you have so much love to 1082 00:39:04,150 --> 00:39:07,330 give and you are so loving gets she just to end 1083 00:39:07,330 --> 00:39:07,720 the natives. 1084 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:09,490 It's just who you are on this planet. 1085 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,910 And that all there is for you to do is do 1086 00:39:12,910 --> 00:39:14,050 that every day, 1087 00:39:14,050 --> 00:39:14,620 all day. 1088 00:39:15,070 --> 00:39:18,490 And what will happen over time is people will feel the 1089 00:39:18,490 --> 00:39:20,170 love and miracles will happen. 1090 00:39:20,170 --> 00:39:21,070 I'm sure of it. 1091 00:39:21,730 --> 00:39:22,780 And you know, 1092 00:39:22,780 --> 00:39:26,140 he held me and he kissed me and he reassured me 1093 00:39:26,140 --> 00:39:29,770 and I calmed down and I kind of allowed what he 1094 00:39:29,770 --> 00:39:31,600 said to just marinate. 1095 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,280 Cause I didn't have an answer like, 1096 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:34,390 okay, how would I do that? 1097 00:39:34,510 --> 00:39:37,000 Yeah, I was just frozen is really what I was. 1098 00:39:37,150 --> 00:39:39,670 So I went to sleep that night tossing and turning and 1099 00:39:39,670 --> 00:39:43,990 just, I mean that morning and like kind of that daydream 1100 00:39:43,990 --> 00:39:48,040 type sleep and all of a sudden the wheels started turning 1101 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,440 and I could feel myself receiving, 1102 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,360 I call it a D a download, 1103 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,340 like I was receiving from the universe. 1104 00:39:54,340 --> 00:39:56,320 Like he just gave you a gift. 1105 00:39:56,590 --> 00:39:58,030 Here's how you can use it. 1106 00:39:58,570 --> 00:40:01,420 And the very next day I started and this is, 1107 00:40:01,450 --> 00:40:02,320 this is so funny. 1108 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,500 I, I started a hundred ways to love yourself and it 1109 00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:07,150 was called the love yourself campaign. 1110 00:40:07,330 --> 00:40:09,130 And I did not have, 1111 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:09,370 you know, 1112 00:40:09,370 --> 00:40:10,930 I didn't have the beautiful, 1113 00:40:10,930 --> 00:40:14,170 Dynalite the I-phones didn't film you at this time. 1114 00:40:14,170 --> 00:40:16,900 And I didn't have all the tools and all the ways 1115 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:18,790 and the iPad and all the ways to fill. 1116 00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:21,670 So what I did is I took an old fashioned camera 1117 00:40:21,910 --> 00:40:25,120 and I took two plants from my living room and put 1118 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:26,530 them in front of my bathroom door, 1119 00:40:26,530 --> 00:40:30,220 trying to hide the handle because that was the best lighting. 1120 00:40:30,940 --> 00:40:32,920 I didn't even have a microphone. 1121 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,020 So I just recorded it with my laptop. 1122 00:40:35,290 --> 00:40:37,630 And I began the 100 days, 1123 00:40:37,630 --> 00:40:39,250 100 ways to love yourself. 1124 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:43,480 And that really was the beginning of a profound journey of 1125 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:44,770 making a difference for people. 1126 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,070 Wow. And where is all of that now? 1127 00:40:47,070 --> 00:40:50,880 Is that available for any of us or It's hysterical? 1128 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:51,120 I mean, 1129 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:54,780 I've kept it in U2 simply because I always want to 1130 00:40:54,780 --> 00:40:56,550 have the reminder of where I started, 1131 00:40:56,580 --> 00:40:57,840 because like I said, 1132 00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,100 I was a perfectionist, 1133 00:40:59,100 --> 00:41:01,440 so in my desire to be perfect, 1134 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,750 I tried so hard to make it look like a set 1135 00:41:03,750 --> 00:41:04,980 and it just so doesn't, 1136 00:41:05,790 --> 00:41:07,350 But I bet it's so impactful. 1137 00:41:07,350 --> 00:41:09,900 Anyway, will you share that link with me for the show 1138 00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:11,130 notes for the episode? 1139 00:41:11,490 --> 00:41:13,500 Okay. Wonderful. 1140 00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:13,890 All right. 1141 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:14,610 We're going to move on. 1142 00:41:14,850 --> 00:41:18,600 What tool do you use in your life that helps you 1143 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:22,320 to create balance or to keep you going with your coaching 1144 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:23,880 and all your courses and all of that? 1145 00:41:23,910 --> 00:41:26,700 What, what is something that you would recommend that our listeners 1146 00:41:26,700 --> 00:41:29,010 could also use Between you and me? 1147 00:41:29,010 --> 00:41:30,840 Sue? There's a ton like a million, 1148 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:31,680 a million tools. 1149 00:41:31,710 --> 00:41:32,610 Maybe I'll let you go. 1150 00:41:33,050 --> 00:41:33,650 How about that? 1151 00:41:33,980 --> 00:41:34,870 Okay. Okay. 1152 00:41:34,910 --> 00:41:35,930 Again, so, 1153 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:36,830 yeah, that's great. 1154 00:41:36,860 --> 00:41:38,360 So the first one, 1155 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:39,430 one that I'll say, 1156 00:41:39,430 --> 00:41:41,530 and this is something that I actually learned in my master's 1157 00:41:41,530 --> 00:41:43,690 program is called setting a bedtime intention. 1158 00:41:44,020 --> 00:41:45,580 So we go through life, 1159 00:41:45,580 --> 00:41:45,970 our busy, 1160 00:41:45,970 --> 00:41:48,310 busy, busy lives with so much information, 1161 00:41:48,310 --> 00:41:49,300 so much feedback, 1162 00:41:49,330 --> 00:41:50,140 every billboard, 1163 00:41:50,140 --> 00:41:51,250 every advertisement, 1164 00:41:51,250 --> 00:41:55,210 everything that is fueling our brains and our eyes and hitting 1165 00:41:55,210 --> 00:41:58,600 us and our brain kind of gets overloaded. 1166 00:41:59,470 --> 00:42:02,860 And so what we do naturally by a process of elimination 1167 00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:06,280 in our neurology is that we create depletions. 1168 00:42:06,310 --> 00:42:08,740 We categorize and compile things in different. 1169 00:42:08,770 --> 00:42:10,690 Like if you were to imagine that your brain was an 1170 00:42:10,690 --> 00:42:14,260 operating system and you had file storage cabinets inside of it, 1171 00:42:14,380 --> 00:42:16,660 you'd take a whole bunch of information and you'd put it 1172 00:42:16,660 --> 00:42:17,860 all into one folder. 1173 00:42:17,860 --> 00:42:19,750 And you'd say that one can go on the side for 1174 00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:22,390 deletion. This is a folder that can be used for later. 1175 00:42:22,390 --> 00:42:23,860 This is a folder that I need now. 1176 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:27,040 And so we process things in bits so that we can 1177 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:28,000 actually use them. 1178 00:42:28,210 --> 00:42:32,350 But throughout the day we don't download and delete enough to 1179 00:42:32,350 --> 00:42:33,730 be able to be clear. 1180 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,760 So often then what happens is people go to sleep at 1181 00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,150 night and they have crazy dreams and they try to process 1182 00:42:40,150 --> 00:42:42,010 a whole bunch of things or they toss and turn with 1183 00:42:42,010 --> 00:42:46,330 insomnia because they've never really let their brain go. 1184 00:42:46,330 --> 00:42:49,930 And given it a directive for how to be used when 1185 00:42:49,990 --> 00:42:53,080 the conscious mind is off and the unconscious mind is awake. 1186 00:42:53,290 --> 00:42:57,970 So a bedtime intention is simply setting an intention before bed, 1187 00:42:58,270 --> 00:43:01,360 but specifically the way that I do it is I ask 1188 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,360 for certain things to be released that I no longer need. 1189 00:43:04,390 --> 00:43:06,880 So kind of like deleting whatever I don't need when I'm 1190 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,500 asleep. And I asked that, 1191 00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:11,290 well, my conscious mind is asleep and my unconscious mind is 1192 00:43:11,290 --> 00:43:15,370 awake. That anything that I need to work out that will 1193 00:43:15,370 --> 00:43:19,240 be easier for me to work out in my unconscious so 1194 00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:21,370 that when I awakened refreshed, 1195 00:43:21,370 --> 00:43:22,810 rejuvenated, restored, 1196 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,880 I don't have to do the process anymore. 1197 00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,560 I don't have to figure anything out. 1198 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,950 It'll just be there available for me to have the aha 1199 00:43:29,980 --> 00:43:31,630 moment, the idea, 1200 00:43:31,630 --> 00:43:32,620 the concept, 1201 00:43:32,770 --> 00:43:33,700 the confidence, 1202 00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:34,270 the courage, 1203 00:43:34,270 --> 00:43:35,410 whatever I am seeking. 1204 00:43:35,770 --> 00:43:38,830 And so I get very specific about how I ask what 1205 00:43:38,830 --> 00:43:39,190 I asked. 1206 00:43:39,190 --> 00:43:41,590 So I asked to release whatever doesn't serve me. 1207 00:43:41,770 --> 00:43:45,400 I asked to receive whatever will serve me and to clarify 1208 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,760 things in such a way that I can easily interpret what 1209 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:50,680 the message is upon awakening. 1210 00:43:51,070 --> 00:43:54,130 And I'll tell you something I've been doing this for nine 1211 00:43:54,130 --> 00:43:57,730 years, disciplined like every night for nine years. 1212 00:43:57,730 --> 00:43:59,830 It's the very last thing I do before I go to 1213 00:43:59,830 --> 00:44:02,650 sleep, no matter what time it is or what I've done. 1214 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,930 When I lay down and I close my eyes, 1215 00:44:04,930 --> 00:44:07,810 I set a bedtime intention and what has it produced? 1216 00:44:07,990 --> 00:44:09,580 It helps me manifest. 1217 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,440 It helps me wake up clear. 1218 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:15,790 It helps whatever assists me while I'm sleeping and dreaming to 1219 00:44:15,790 --> 00:44:16,420 let go. 1220 00:44:16,420 --> 00:44:18,520 It helps coal that forward, 1221 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,820 that energy or that spirituality or whatever it is that's assisting 1222 00:44:21,820 --> 00:44:25,330 me. And it helps allow flow and balance exactly what you 1223 00:44:25,330 --> 00:44:26,470 asked me in my life. 1224 00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:29,080 So that's a very profound and powerful one for me. 1225 00:44:29,860 --> 00:44:31,800 The second one is breath. 1226 00:44:32,250 --> 00:44:33,240 And you know, 1227 00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:35,940 many people who do yoga or maybe do meditation. 1228 00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:40,050 They are very familiar with the concept of put, 1229 00:44:40,050 --> 00:44:42,060 bring your awareness into your breath. 1230 00:44:42,150 --> 00:44:43,170 Just the other day. 1231 00:44:43,170 --> 00:44:45,990 Someone said it in a new way that I've heard before, 1232 00:44:45,990 --> 00:44:48,300 but I hadn't considered exactly what they meant. 1233 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:50,790 And it is when you close your eyes, 1234 00:44:50,820 --> 00:44:51,840 if you can close your eyes, 1235 00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:52,830 when you're going to breathe, 1236 00:44:52,890 --> 00:44:53,970 when you close your eyes, 1237 00:44:53,970 --> 00:44:56,310 watch from your internal vision, 1238 00:44:56,580 --> 00:44:58,020 what happens with your breath? 1239 00:44:58,140 --> 00:44:59,070 Watch it flow, 1240 00:44:59,070 --> 00:45:00,030 watch it move. 1241 00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:02,040 Does it have a certain sensation to it? 1242 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:02,970 What does it look like? 1243 00:45:03,210 --> 00:45:04,230 And in those moments, 1244 00:45:04,230 --> 00:45:08,040 when I feel sad or angry or frustrated or too fast, 1245 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,710 or like on the verge of yelling or something, 1246 00:45:10,770 --> 00:45:14,430 if I can really bring myself to breathe and watch my 1247 00:45:14,430 --> 00:45:16,320 breath, one second, 1248 00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:17,010 three seconds, 1249 00:45:17,010 --> 00:45:18,150 10 seconds. 1250 00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:20,580 That's it a count of 10. 1251 00:45:20,970 --> 00:45:25,050 All of a sudden that pause in my neurology and in 1252 00:45:25,050 --> 00:45:29,130 the processing of my brain gives me access to a completely 1253 00:45:29,130 --> 00:45:30,090 new experience. 1254 00:45:30,410 --> 00:45:32,060 Wow. I think I'm going to do that too. 1255 00:45:32,420 --> 00:45:33,830 I think I'm taking both of these. 1256 00:45:35,630 --> 00:45:37,700 I can't wait to go to sleep tonight in terms of 1257 00:45:37,700 --> 00:45:38,210 the breath. 1258 00:45:38,240 --> 00:45:43,230 I think specially for listeners here who are starting businesses or 1259 00:45:43,250 --> 00:45:44,060 get frustrated, 1260 00:45:44,060 --> 00:45:44,210 you know, 1261 00:45:44,210 --> 00:45:45,380 so many times in the day, 1262 00:45:45,380 --> 00:45:48,140 I think we could call upon that and use it for 1263 00:45:48,140 --> 00:45:50,480 sure. So the both of those are excellent. 1264 00:45:50,540 --> 00:45:54,650 Wonderful. What about a book or something that you listened to 1265 00:45:54,650 --> 00:45:56,870 or something that you think could be really helpful to our 1266 00:45:56,870 --> 00:45:58,280 listeners along that end? 1267 00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,180 A lot of this conversation today has been your perception of 1268 00:46:02,180 --> 00:46:03,230 the world around you. 1269 00:46:03,410 --> 00:46:06,560 So are you a person that looks at the world through 1270 00:46:06,590 --> 00:46:11,270 your experience and then gauges it and shares outwardly? 1271 00:46:11,420 --> 00:46:14,180 Or are you a person that takes your cues and is 1272 00:46:14,180 --> 00:46:18,170 impacted externally first and then processes it internally? 1273 00:46:18,530 --> 00:46:22,310 And my invitation and encouragement for you is to really start 1274 00:46:22,310 --> 00:46:25,610 to move in the direction of having your own opinions, 1275 00:46:25,610 --> 00:46:26,840 trusting yourself, 1276 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:28,070 clearing your own voice, 1277 00:46:28,100 --> 00:46:29,660 understanding who you are, 1278 00:46:29,810 --> 00:46:31,820 and then sharing you with the world. 1279 00:46:32,150 --> 00:46:34,730 And then the world may actually occur differently to you. 1280 00:46:34,730 --> 00:46:36,080 And you'll hear feedback. 1281 00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:37,070 You'll hear advice. 1282 00:46:37,070 --> 00:46:41,390 You'll hear perspectives really differently because you'll hear them from your 1283 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:45,200 position and from your authentic self and your wisdom rather than 1284 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:46,820 maybe they're the ones that are right. 1285 00:46:47,300 --> 00:46:50,330 So that is the concept. 1286 00:46:50,330 --> 00:46:52,880 And the book that I feel like best does that. 1287 00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,130 And this is a book I have my two, 1288 00:46:55,130 --> 00:46:55,940 I have three kids, 1289 00:46:55,940 --> 00:46:57,830 my 12 year old and my 10 year old and I 1290 00:46:57,830 --> 00:46:58,460 have a three-year-old, 1291 00:46:58,490 --> 00:46:59,720 but my 10 and 12 year old, 1292 00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:02,690 they listened to this book almost every night as they go 1293 00:47:02,690 --> 00:47:03,260 to sleep. 1294 00:47:03,500 --> 00:47:05,360 And this is a book that I give all of my 1295 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,040 clients when we first start working together. 1296 00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,220 And it's called the untethered soul by Michael singer. 1297 00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:14,180 And the book is all about the voices inside of our 1298 00:47:14,180 --> 00:47:18,200 head, that we so often identify with the voice inside our 1299 00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,140 head as though it's someone else telling us what to do 1300 00:47:21,140 --> 00:47:23,000 and what to think and how to be and how not 1301 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:23,450 to be. 1302 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:26,930 And it's up to us to begin discerning what are the 1303 00:47:26,930 --> 00:47:30,430 voices inside of us that are in our championing us and 1304 00:47:30,430 --> 00:47:33,700 supporting us and what are the voices that are counterproductive and 1305 00:47:33,700 --> 00:47:37,150 what can I do to serve myself best in those moments 1306 00:47:37,150 --> 00:47:38,320 when I'm most out myself, 1307 00:47:38,380 --> 00:47:40,350 boy, Main gift is listeners. 1308 00:47:40,410 --> 00:47:42,930 I can not wait to listen to this book. 1309 00:47:42,990 --> 00:47:44,190 And I'm sure a lot of you, 1310 00:47:44,220 --> 00:47:45,000 the same thing, 1311 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,770 because really what you're saying is you're, 1312 00:47:46,790 --> 00:47:50,190 you're laying the groundwork of a whole new way for our, 1313 00:47:50,220 --> 00:47:52,740 all of us to look at our lives in a totally 1314 00:47:52,740 --> 00:47:56,130 different direction in all of these different instances that you've given 1315 00:47:56,130 --> 00:47:56,640 to us, 1316 00:47:56,850 --> 00:47:59,670 what you've just talked about in getting real with ourselves, 1317 00:48:00,030 --> 00:48:00,660 all of it. 1318 00:48:00,660 --> 00:48:02,250 So very interested. 1319 00:48:02,250 --> 00:48:04,770 I'm very much looking forward to listening to that. 1320 00:48:05,010 --> 00:48:05,610 Thank you. 1321 00:48:05,850 --> 00:48:09,630 And now I would like to invite you to dare to 1322 00:48:09,630 --> 00:48:12,780 dream. I'd like to present you with a virtual gift. 1323 00:48:13,020 --> 00:48:17,430 It's a magical box containing unlimited possibilities for your future. 1324 00:48:17,730 --> 00:48:21,600 This is your dream or your goal of almost unreachable Heights 1325 00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,070 that you would wish to obtain. 1326 00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,730 Please accept this gift and open it in our presence. 1327 00:48:26,910 --> 00:48:28,320 What is inside your box? 1328 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:30,270 So inside of my boxes, 1329 00:48:30,270 --> 00:48:35,550 a key and the key is probably about two fingers in 1330 00:48:35,550 --> 00:48:39,750 length. At the top of it is a heart shape and 1331 00:48:40,110 --> 00:48:41,910 the key unlocks, 1332 00:48:41,940 --> 00:48:46,140 whatever I want to unlock at any time for any reason. 1333 00:48:46,350 --> 00:48:50,820 And I like to use the analogy like in my life. 1334 00:48:50,910 --> 00:48:54,630 I believe that I've had way more traumas in my life 1335 00:48:54,630 --> 00:48:56,070 than most people have in a lifetime. 1336 00:48:56,190 --> 00:48:59,100 And I could either reflect on those traumas and reflect on 1337 00:48:59,100 --> 00:49:02,400 those experiences as these terrible things that happened to me and, 1338 00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:03,000 Oh my gosh, 1339 00:49:03,030 --> 00:49:03,480 my life, 1340 00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:04,200 this and this and that. 1341 00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,170 And I could get really saddened or depressed or confronted by 1342 00:49:07,170 --> 00:49:10,230 them, but what I've chosen to do with learning and with 1343 00:49:10,260 --> 00:49:12,570 expansion and with great mentors, 1344 00:49:12,720 --> 00:49:15,030 I've learned to see every opportunity. 1345 00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:18,480 This key would give me access to doors that I'd like 1346 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,850 to open to people that I'd like to meet, 1347 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,790 to opportunities that I'd like to have to lessons I'd like 1348 00:49:23,790 --> 00:49:26,070 to learn for one primary purpose. 1349 00:49:26,250 --> 00:49:27,720 And that is to serve, 1350 00:49:28,140 --> 00:49:29,430 to serve God, 1351 00:49:29,460 --> 00:49:30,690 to serve man, 1352 00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:32,280 to serve my gift. 1353 00:49:32,460 --> 00:49:34,410 And then by serving, 1354 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,850 I am very well aware. 1355 00:49:35,850 --> 00:49:38,220 We cannot serve and not be served back. 1356 00:49:38,310 --> 00:49:42,210 So that reciprocation is the natural inherent way of the universe. 1357 00:49:42,330 --> 00:49:44,070 And so in serving, 1358 00:49:44,070 --> 00:49:47,310 if that key would give me access to serving even greater 1359 00:49:47,490 --> 00:49:48,960 ISO two will be served, 1360 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:51,690 Wow, I'm almost speechless. 1361 00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:57,000 Monica. If our listeners want to learn more about, 1362 00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:57,780 you know, 1363 00:49:57,780 --> 00:49:59,880 more about what you're doing with moms, 1364 00:49:59,880 --> 00:50:02,250 cause I know a lot of them are moms and struggling 1365 00:50:02,250 --> 00:50:03,900 with all of that balance too. 1366 00:50:04,140 --> 00:50:07,140 Just want to hear more from you about all of these 1367 00:50:07,140 --> 00:50:08,370 messages that you provide, 1368 00:50:08,370 --> 00:50:09,570 how can they reach you? 1369 00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,390 So the best place to go is my website, 1370 00:50:12,420 --> 00:50:15,780 which is Monica spelled with a K M O N I 1371 00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:18,270 K a N Zan Z a N D S, 1372 00:50:18,270 --> 00:50:19,890 which is my last name.com. 1373 00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:20,940 That's super easy. 1374 00:50:21,060 --> 00:50:23,640 They can also find me on Facebook, 1375 00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:24,690 on Instagram, 1376 00:50:24,690 --> 00:50:28,400 on Pinterest and Facebook live and Periscope, 1377 00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:29,870 which is where you and I met Sue. 1378 00:50:29,870 --> 00:50:32,120 So they can really find me pretty much anywhere. 1379 00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,820 And most of my handles are my tags is my name 1380 00:50:34,820 --> 00:50:35,870 Moni cousins. 1381 00:50:35,990 --> 00:50:38,660 And what they can look forward to is I do a 1382 00:50:38,660 --> 00:50:42,110 lot of videos and giveaways because as I mentioned, 1383 00:50:42,140 --> 00:50:44,060 my primary purpose is to give, 1384 00:50:44,060 --> 00:50:44,390 to give, 1385 00:50:44,390 --> 00:50:47,270 to give as though I was a mom on the planet 1386 00:50:47,510 --> 00:50:51,530 and to honor and cherish and love and pour love into 1387 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:52,160 the planet. 1388 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:55,070 So my website is the best place. 1389 00:50:55,130 --> 00:50:58,520 And then there's two places where in particular, 1390 00:50:58,550 --> 00:50:59,780 I have two programs, 1391 00:50:59,780 --> 00:51:04,700 altitude and mom Academy altitude is my business building program where 1392 00:51:04,730 --> 00:51:08,720 you really get to dive deep into your business business practices, 1393 00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:11,600 your default behaviors and things that stop you, 1394 00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,880 limiting beliefs and structurally, 1395 00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:15,320 like what is your billboard? 1396 00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:15,560 What is, 1397 00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,650 what are things that will really have you clarify so that 1398 00:51:18,650 --> 00:51:22,430 you can reach success and you can execute actionable items and 1399 00:51:22,430 --> 00:51:24,290 know what should I be executing on? 1400 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:27,920 And then my mom Academy course is a program where we 1401 00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:32,120 work on the concept of a tribe and a village that 1402 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,310 moms in the world need each other. 1403 00:51:34,310 --> 00:51:36,140 We are the glue of our families. 1404 00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:37,880 We are the glue on the planet. 1405 00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,590 We are intuitive beings. 1406 00:51:39,590 --> 00:51:41,030 We are gifts ourselves. 1407 00:51:41,210 --> 00:51:45,050 And so to recognize how to come together and foster each 1408 00:51:45,050 --> 00:51:49,580 other and champion each other and interact and do great business 1409 00:51:49,580 --> 00:51:52,220 together, that is the goal of mom Academy. 1410 00:51:52,220 --> 00:51:53,990 So it helps with the question of guilt, 1411 00:51:53,990 --> 00:51:55,300 the question of overwhelmed, 1412 00:51:55,300 --> 00:51:58,400 the question of contribution and collaboration and how to build a 1413 00:51:58,400 --> 00:51:59,120 powerful TRIBE, 1414 00:51:59,410 --> 00:52:01,030 Perfect, and gift biz listeners. 1415 00:52:01,030 --> 00:52:01,450 You know, 1416 00:52:01,450 --> 00:52:03,760 I'll have links to all of this over on the show 1417 00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:04,390 notes page. 1418 00:52:04,390 --> 00:52:07,000 So if you weren't able to capture that while you're listening, 1419 00:52:07,390 --> 00:52:09,790 all of that is there and available for you, 1420 00:52:10,210 --> 00:52:12,070 Monica. So, 1421 00:52:12,100 --> 00:52:15,400 so many points for us to reflect on and think about 1422 00:52:15,430 --> 00:52:16,450 you've really. 1423 00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:18,190 I think if I were to try and sum it up, 1424 00:52:18,220 --> 00:52:18,850 your real, 1425 00:52:18,850 --> 00:52:20,260 your whole message has been, 1426 00:52:20,410 --> 00:52:23,620 you need to connect with your true self and bring that 1427 00:52:23,620 --> 00:52:24,610 out to the world. 1428 00:52:24,910 --> 00:52:25,840 You've shared with us. 1429 00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,930 So many things about how you've connected internally, 1430 00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:32,470 all of these very personal journeys that you've been on throughout 1431 00:52:32,470 --> 00:52:33,010 your life. 1432 00:52:33,250 --> 00:52:37,210 I so appreciate your sharing with us and may your candle 1433 00:52:37,300 --> 00:52:38,350 always burn bright. 1434 00:52:39,070 --> 00:52:39,550 Thank you. 1435 00:52:39,550 --> 00:52:40,000 Thank you. 1436 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:40,390 Thank you. 1437 00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:43,870 It's been such a pleasure and I acknowledge you for how 1438 00:52:43,870 --> 00:52:47,560 much love and how lucky your listeners are for having someone 1439 00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:48,880 standing to serve in this way. 1440 00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:49,630 So thank you. 1441 00:52:50,230 --> 00:52:53,320 Learn how to work smarter while developing and growing your business. 1442 00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:57,040 Download our guide called 25 free tools to enhance your business 1443 00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:57,580 and life. 1444 00:52:57,820 --> 00:53:01,540 It's our gift to you and available@giftbizonrap.com 1445 00:53:01,540 --> 00:53:02,590 slash tools. 1446 00:53:02,740 --> 00:53:04,960 Thanks for listening and be sure to join us for the 1447 00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:05,830 next episode. 1448 00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,860 Today's show is sponsored by the ribbon print company, 1449 00:53:09,550 --> 00:53:11,710 looking for a new income source for your gifts. 1450 00:53:11,710 --> 00:53:16,540 Business customization is more popular now than ever brand your products 1451 00:53:16,540 --> 00:53:18,100 with your logo or print, 1452 00:53:18,100 --> 00:53:18,760 a happy birthday, 1453 00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,530 Jessica ribbon to add to a gift, 1454 00:53:20,590 --> 00:53:21,400 right at checkout, 1455 00:53:22,030 --> 00:53:24,670 it's all done right in your shop or cross studio in 1456 00:53:24,670 --> 00:53:28,200 seconds. Check out the ribbon print company.com 1457 00:53:28,290 --> 00:53:31,830 for more information after you listened to the show, 1458 00:53:31,950 --> 00:53:33,300 if you like what you're hearing, 1459 00:53:33,570 --> 00:53:36,330 make sure to jump over and subscribe to the show on 1460 00:53:36,330 --> 00:53:40,140 iTunes. That way you'll automatically get the newest episodes when they 1461 00:53:40,140 --> 00:53:40,650 go by. 1462 00:53:41,340 --> 00:53:44,040 And thank you to those who have already left a rating 1463 00:53:45,300 --> 00:53:50,370 by subscribing rating and review help to increase the visibility on 1464 00:53:50,370 --> 00:53:52,770 rap. It's a great way to pay it forward, 1465 00:53:53,070 --> 00:53:56,070 to help others with their entrepreneurial journey as well. 1466 00:53:58,710 --> 00:54:01,170 Would you like to be on the show or do you 1467 00:54:01,170 --> 00:54:05,190 know someone who can provide valuable insight from their experiences? 1468 00:54:05,730 --> 00:54:06,450 If so, 1469 00:54:06,510 --> 00:54:07,650 we'd love to hear from you. 1470 00:54:08,010 --> 00:54:11,130 All you need to do is submit a form for consideration. 1471 00:54:11,730 --> 00:54:15,240 You can access the form@giftbizonwrapped.com 1472 00:54:15,540 --> 00:54:17,250 forward slash guest.