00:00:00 Shreya: Pain has a strange way of doing that. It disrupts the life we planned, the identity we build and the direction we thought we are going. But every now and then, in the middle of that disruption, something else begins to emerge. A quiet voice, a deeper strength, a story waiting to be told. And today we are talking about what happens when pain becomes a doorway to purpose.

00:00:31 Shreya: Welcome to Inner Light, the podcast where we explore the quiet transformations that happen within us. Those moments when life challenges us and something deeper begins to awaken. I'm your host, Shreya, and today's guest is Karina, writing under the pen name Kiki Bernath, a storyteller whose personal journey through motherhood, sacrifice, and resilience became the inspiration for powerful and deeply personal writing. Originally from Poland, Karina moved to the United States to explore new possibilities. But it was life's unexpected turns, especially caring for children, that ultimately led her toward a creative and healing path. And in this conversation, we are exploring how pain can become a turning point and how sometimes the most powerful purpose grows from the place we never expected. Welcome, Karina. I'm honored to have you on my show.

00:01:31 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Thank you for hosting and being letting me be your guest, and I. It's a pleasure to be here with you.

00:01:38 Shreya: Thank you so much. And, Karina, before we get into the deeper parts of your journey, when you first started writing your story just for yourself, what did that moment feel like emotionally?

00:01:54 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Um, let me tell you first about the idea. So when I got the idea on Friday afternoon after work back in twenty twenty one, it was like it was very freeing. You know, just to I want to put it down. So it was like a freeing. I think it's important. And so it felt really good and light. But when I actually start the day, when I first sat down to write it, I think I also felt the same way. I really enjoy the creative part. And so just to be able to finally sit down after a year of thinking about it, it also brought a lightness to me. But as I was writing later on, other emotions, um, surfaced as well.

00:02:52 Shreya: That's really beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. And I think many people believe that purpose arrives through clarity or success. But your story seems to suggest something different that sometimes purpose appears through struggle. So what do you think people misunderstand about the role pain can play in shaping who we become?

00:03:17 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: I think I strongly believe that we grow through pain, we grow through suffering. And I am as well a yoga teacher, which I just became almost a year ago. And it kind of helped me look at the pain and struggles different way. But we do need that pain. We do that. We do need that challenges. We do need that struggles to grow, to transform, to become the person I believe we are all meant to be. So I believe I came into this world with a purpose and it's not easy to find the purpose. I think I found mine, but it may also change ten years from now. So struggle is needed. To make our life better to some degree. Now we too struggle. We we becoming different, better, more mature, more aware of ourselves. And this way we can create the life we actually want. Our life. The life we meant to have.

00:04:35 Shreya: Yes, that's really powerful because I think it reframes pain not as something meaningless, but as something that can actually reveals parts of ourselves we didn't know were there. And I think, uh, it makes me wonder about that deeper layers beneath that. Like when life shifted and you stepped away from your corporate career to care for your children. That must have been a huge identity change. So I'm really curious, like what was happening internally for you during that transition?

00:05:11 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Oh, it's a good question. Well, honestly, I think it took me about really between four to six months to finally be happy in my new role. I felt it emotionally. I felt guilty for not providing anymore, for not making the money. I felt guilty for not going to bed or getting up. You know, because last week I was working from home as the last part of my corporate career. I was working from home, so it felt weird not to go to my upstairs office and work. And also, my body was showing the signs of some kind of conflict, some kind of trauma happening to me. And it all changed when I, I, I gave myself permission. It's okay. I work long, I mean, many years providing for my children, my family. And now I have somebody who can take this on and I can just become one hundred percent mom, you know, full time mom. And so that was a big shift to allow myself. But it was a struggle. It was. But like I said, nobody told me I did something wrong. It was me who was not happy, not feeling guilty about not working.

00:06:39 Shreya: Yes, I think it sounds like there was both loss and rediscovery happening at the same time. Like almost like life was quietly asking you to redefine who you were beyond career or expectations?

00:06:55 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Absolutely. You put it very nicely. Um, absolutely. And um, actually didn't expect it's going to be that hard. You know, the first month I was just, you know, cleaning, catching up on a lot of projects, but then I started not to feel well physically. It showed on my body. I, I discovered really bad eczema. And so my hands were in pain in wounds. And it took the moment I, I think let myself be in that new role, give myself permission. Internal healing started to happen, which also manifested out on the outside as well.

00:07:41 Shreya: Yes. And also, like many parents and honestly, many people also like find themselves caring responsibilities that change their life path completely. So in those moments, it's easy to feel like life has taken something away. So what helped you begin seeing your experience not just as sacrifice, but as part of a deeper story?

00:08:10 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Um, you know, I think it started before I, you know, I was playing with therapist for about two decades or over a decade by now, but like I'm laughing, I'm saying playing, but really the biggest one, which, um, helped me change perspective on my life. It's my current one, which she looks, it's more like a holistic therapy. And so I knew I was transforming already. You know, it started over back in twenty twenty one May. And so by the time I quit my job, I did it because I was already in a therapy, so I knew something had to shift. I became aware of my feelings about my likes, who I am. I actually discovered through the therapy what I really enjoy and who I really am and what's important for me. That's why I stepped down from my corporate career. And. But despite doing that, it still wasn't easy. But I gave myself permission to suffer to, you know, to, um, grieve, you know, because I am not working. And then, you know, I gave myself permission to be in guilt. I felt understanding that it will pass and which he did. So it was part of my transformation I was aware of. So it didn't overtake me. The feeling, the way I felt, it didn't overtake me because I knew it's a process and every day in the process.

00:09:52 Shreya: Yes, I agree. And I think that shift in perspective is so important because when we start seeing our experiences as chapters rather than endings, something inside us begins to soften.

00:10:07 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Correct. Absolutely. And I think we, I at least believe that we change every day. We learn something new every day and we grow and change until the day we die. But none. None. Not all of us are aware of that. Some of us believe that they never change, though they do change. So I, I am glad that I became aware, and it's easier for me to go through these changes and challenges because I am aware of them.

00:10:45 Shreya: Yeah. And also your writing started as something very personal a letter to your children. I find that incredibly beautiful. And I'm really curious, like, how did the act of writing begin to transform your own healing process?

00:11:04 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Beautiful question. Um, I knew, I mean, I've heard, and as I started to write, the deeper I went into my life, into the moments which were really traumatic and the tears started to, you know, roll down my face as I was writing. I knew that it's part of the writing and it's also part of my healing. So writing was a healing for me and still is. Because sometimes when I go to the events with the readers and write the, uh, excerpt from my book, there are still emotions, um, you know, surfacing and sometimes I'm feeling it's not healed. Like the part when my stepdad is dying, you know, and it's very hard for me to read it. And I'm like, is it because it's not fully processed or is it because it's just hard when somebody dies, which I am more into that part. So right now. But yes, um, it's definitely writing is definitely a therapy sort of therapy for me, which I needed, but also writing, writing that first book showed me that I truly enjoy write. I am still trying to figure out what type of writer I am. My next book will be about poetry book and what's my next one will be. I'm not so sure, but I definitely enjoy it and my heart is into that one hundred percent.

00:12:46 Shreya: Yeah, I really find that incredible. I think it's amazing how creativity can become a mirror for our inner world. Like, sometimes we don't even realize what we are carrying until we start expressing it.

00:13:01 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Absolutely. You know, if you put it very nicely. Absolutely. And I journal, I try to journal every day. Sometimes it's one, two sentence, sometimes it's in one page. And, you know, I start with basically what happened. Maybe it's how I felt. And then I found answers to why I feel the way I feel. Also the questions I asked myself maybe during the last, last, last week. So, um, journaling and anything I think any creative act, which you have to really stop and concentrate on your doing helps you dig deep into your inner Ourselves and, um, and face what's happening there.

00:13:50 Shreya: Yes, I one hundred percent agree. And even when we. Discover purpose through pain, the journey doesn't suddenly becomes easy. There are still days of doubts, exhaustion, or uncertainty. So when those moments come up for you, what helps you reconnect with your sense of purpose?

00:14:13 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: Oh. Oh my God. Yeah, I was laughing as you were saying it because, you know, absolutely. I have those days. Um, or I have seasons when I'm in doubt about what am I doing? Who do I think I am? But okay, I'm, I call myself a writer and author, but am I really. So what helps me reminder of what I have accomplished. Like I had the really hard days last couple of weeks were rough for me personally. And I'm like, who am I? What have I accomplished? And then I tell myself, okay, what I have accomplished. I have a very good job in Parliament in nineteen ninety nine and came to America knowing nobody, knowing no English. It takes courage to do it. Um. I have four beautiful children, so I have the courage to say yes to a child to to take on this big responsibility. Responsibility to raise a family. It takes courage. I wrote a book. It took me three years to publish it. And it's my it's a book shows my personal story. So it takes courage to put yourself out there because I'm talking about myself. And also it takes courage to write a book, you know? And then another thing, you know, I just finished yoga teacher training. So I remind myself about all these small and big accomplishments I did over, you know, over the last decade. And also I remind myself which is the most important, but because I have a day off, which when I'm not feeling well, it doesn't mean my life is all horrible. I can still be happy when I am sad, which it sounds maybe funny and I allow myself to have these not so such a perfect days where I just maybe read a book and lay out on the couch, you know, rest, give myself the time to just do what my body needs. And, uh, and after that day when I'm not so happy, when I'm in doubt, when I think everything is falling apart, I know that the sun will shine again. So and I think with I'm becoming too with certain age when I think with the age getting really gaining the wisdom. Like in my twenties, I thought the smile on my face tells me I'm happy, you know. And it means that I always have to smile. Now I look at the happiness different way. Happiness for me is accepting what you have is good and not so good days. But when I feel perfectly good or not perfectly good. And for me, this is happiness. Allowing yourself to just be in the moment as you are, with your smile on your face or without it, because you just cannot master it.

00:17:09 Shreya: Yes, I think that's such a grounding reminder that purpose is not about perfection, but about continuing to show up with honesty and with courage. Yes, like Karina, I would love to ask you something for the listeners who might be in a painful chapter of their own life right now. So for someone who feels like their struggle have taken them away from the life they imagined, what would you want them to remember?

00:17:44 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: I think the most important is we're forgetting that we are creators of our lives. I mean, truly creators. How our life unfolds depends on us. And it's that creation starts in the way we think. So the simple thing is, let's say if you're waking up for the last couple of weeks and you just cannot. You think your life is horrible. You cannot find happiness. Ask yourself a question. What am I grateful for? And it can be small thing. I am alive, I can see, I can walk like my son cannot walk by himself. Because even for me. But I am able to walk. It's beautiful. And so be grateful. Start finding the small things you are grateful for and you're going to see that. Well, there's so many things I can be grateful for, you know? And start with gratitude and with your thoughts, you know, being mindful. But I think gratitude, this is how I started. You know, my journey, which, um, basically I had to realize that there are many things I am grateful for, but my life is not as bad as I think it is. So I would start there and I know it's very hard. So that's why I'm grateful. The sun is shining. I'm grateful, I can see. And then we're gonna realize that, you know, there are so many other things we can be grateful for. And then our thinking would change and slowly our life would transform because we're gonna bring other. We're gonna be sending energy to different people, and other people will show up in our life, which, which thinks a similar way as we are. And our lives start to change.

00:19:39 Shreya: That's a really beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with my audience. And I think if there is one insight I'm take from this conversation is that sometimes the experiences that reshape our lives are the very ones that reveal our deepest purpose. And this is truly a very wonderful and very helpful, heartwarming conversation that I actually have with you. And if after this, my listeners want to connect with you and want to know more about your story, about your work, then what's the best place to connect with you?

00:20:13 Karina Pen Name K. K. Biernath: I think the easiest way to connect with me would be to go to my website, which is w w w k k Burnett, which is K k b I e r n a t h dot com. Over there, I have a links to my social media accounts where they connect with me there. I am active on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook. I have a YouTube account where I post when I post any videos, short videos, or podcasts. I also have an account on Spotify where they can find my podcast interviews and I also. Host private events with readers in bookstores, um, in different places, which welcoming authors so, so they can meet me in person as well.

00:21:04 Shreya: Yes. And I will make sure to attach all these details and links below so that the listeners can find them easily and get in touch with you. And thank you again for joining and sharing so much. Uh, in my show and to my audience, thank you for spending this time with us on Inner Light. Today's conversation reminds us that healing doesn't always happen in big, dramatic moments. Sometimes it begins quietly in reflection, in creativity. In telling the truth of our own story. And if this episode resonated with you, then share it with someone who might need a little light right now. Until next time, take a moment for yourself and remember that even in the hardest chapters, your story is still unfolding. And this has been a light. And do not forget to hit the follow button. Subscribe and feel free to share your thoughts because your ears deserve premium content. Thank you.