1 00:00:00,967 --> 00:00:04,738 Hello and welcome to the second episode of Karate Chop Bullying. 2 00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:08,975 We're kicking it off again with Tim Flynn, the founder of our little movement. 3 00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:09,843 Hey, Tim. 4 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,543 Hello, Bruce. 5 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,912 How are you doing today? Herren Lee, I'm tongue tied. 6 00:00:12,912 --> 00:00:14,180 How about yourself? 7 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,017 I have those days as well. Tongue tied. 8 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,085 But I'm doing just fine. 9 00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:23,857 So, Bruce, we know why I'm here hosting this podcast. 10 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:27,293 Why are you co-hosting this podcast with me? 11 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,696 What's your experience with bullying? 12 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,364 Why am I here? 13 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,633 It's not the great question we all ask ourselves. 14 00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:37,137 I went through a large amount of bullying through my life because, after all, 15 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:42,642 I was a heavy, asthmatic, non-athletic kid. 16 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:46,546 So from the time that I was entering school, 17 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:48,948 I was basically pushed around and bullied. 18 00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:51,951 I was beaten up outside of my home. 19 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:52,952 There were kids in the neighborhood. 20 00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:55,121 I was I tended to be the whipping boy. 21 00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:57,991 I also lived in an Irish Catholic neighborhood 22 00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:01,027 as a Jew and they were not very accepting of me. 23 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,029 So I got a lot of bullying on that. 24 00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:04,264 And not only that, 25 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:09,069 but oftentimes I was a little bit tortured by some of their parents. 26 00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:14,107 Although the Irish Catholic parents were bullying you. Yes. 27 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,576 For example, I had a neighbor who would love to say, 28 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:17,877 look at how handsome my son is. 29 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:21,147 Look how fat and ugly Debbie's kid is. Wow. 30 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,884 Along with directly blaming me for the death of Christ. 31 00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,286 It's stuff like that. 32 00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:30,123 And it didn't matter what their kids did because they were all nice Catholic boys. 33 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:32,459 Of course not to make this about religion. 34 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:37,263 That was part of my being bullied as I went into junior high school. 35 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:41,501 I sort of sat between the nerds and the kids who nobody liked 36 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:43,269 and also the regular kids. 37 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:46,473 One of the kids, let's call him K, his initial 38 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,943 not naming names, he decided he wanted to try to get popular 39 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,946 and he decided to do that by picking on me. 40 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:57,217 And what ended up happening is in sixth grade, we were best friends. 41 00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,219 And in fact, one time we went over his house 42 00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:02,255 and my mother was there with his mother and they seemed to really hit it off. 43 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:04,457 And his mother didn't have that many friends. 44 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,627 Then suddenly I began getting crank phone calls and they would hang up on me. 45 00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:11,097 Then he called me and blamed me for crank calling. 46 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:15,602 Then one day, his mother called me up, called me a filthy Jew, 47 00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,304 Said Hitler had the right idea 48 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:22,475 and that I was going to burn in hell because I was absolutely a bad person. 49 00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:26,012 To clarify, you are in sixth grade. 50 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,648 I'm 11 years old. Tim. Okay. 51 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:32,685 An adult telling you you're going to die or burn in hell. 52 00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:34,020 Going to burn in hell. 53 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,823 Hitler had the right idea. Well. 54 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,992 Someone who wanted to be friends with my mother. 55 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,495 My mother did not react positively to this turn of events. 56 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:46,533 She called up this lady, asked her 57 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,102 what the hell she thought she was doing, calling me like this. 58 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,770 Who was she to talk to me like that? 59 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:53,072 And she was like, Well, he's been crank calling me. 60 00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:55,842 My my mother was like, First off. No, he hasn't. 61 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,810 We've been getting crank calls. 62 00:02:57,810 --> 00:03:00,647 Second off, even if that was the case, 63 00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:03,216 where do you get off speaking to my child like that? 64 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,250 You call him again? 65 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,452 I will come over to your house and stab you. 66 00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:09,455 Now, my mom meant that, so I never heard from this woman again. 67 00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:12,325 But her son began attacking me at school. 68 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:15,295 Not only that, they moved him from another class 69 00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:18,264 after they started tapping into my class so he could be closer to me. 70 00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,633 His mother requested that. 71 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,002 And then she called the disciplinarian. 72 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:25,071 Who told them that I threatened her son. 73 00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,140 So I was called to the disciplinary in his office 74 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,542 and told if I touched him, I would be expelled. 75 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:33,713 So I was exposed to bullying and the school itself was facilitating it. 76 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,182 And then when I complained to the disciplinarian, 77 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:37,550 this is what they were doing. 78 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,519 They were jumping me. There was like a bunch of them. 79 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,287 He got several friends and they would jump me 80 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:44,090 and they would say things and they would beat me up. 81 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:47,727 But the disciplinarian told me to do was smile and laugh at them. 82 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:51,197 They'll get bored showing just how abjectly 83 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:54,200 unqualified this moron was for his position. 84 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:59,606 I eventually began hurting myself, feigning being beat up and going home, 85 00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:03,776 like with torn clothes, bruises so they didn't have to go to school. 86 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:08,081 Eventually, I just stopped going to school and I left school in seventh grade 87 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,284 because of how bad the bullying was. 88 00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,820 I told my mom I was getting suicidal 89 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,122 because I wanted her to take things seriously. 90 00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:18,625 I never truly was suicidal. 91 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,994 It was a call for help. 92 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,662 Eventually, what happened? 93 00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:25,531 A couple of things happened after I left school. 94 00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:28,001 I was still being bullied in my neighborhood, 95 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:31,004 and my method for dealing with it 96 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:34,207 was I basically one day decided to fight every kid in the neighborhood. 97 00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:35,942 Win or lose. 98 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,178 I figured if I did that, I probably would get beat up a lot. 99 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:43,349 But they also messed up picking on me because I'd be too much trouble. 100 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,118 That's what happened. 101 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,587 Now, I wasn't getting physically picked on. 102 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:51,891 The bullying stopped to some degree and then around 15 years old, 103 00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:55,528 I got into metal music and suddenly all of these people 104 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:58,097 became a bit of afraid of me, which was hilarious. 105 00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:01,067 I was the same kid, but the satanic panic was going on 106 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:04,137 and suddenly I liked Black Sabbath, and that seemed to make a difference. 107 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,139 And I leaned into that with these people. 108 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,641 It kept them off balance and that left me alone. 109 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,077 And so I didn't have to fight with anybody. I didn't get picked on. 110 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:15,214 And I also, during this period of time, was growing my confidence. 111 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:18,685 So ultimately, once I entered my early twenties 112 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:21,688 and I found acting and performing in music, 113 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:25,558 I had a degree of confidence so people really wouldn't pick on me anymore. 114 00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:27,360 But it took a long time. 115 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:33,199 So you mentioned that you regained your confidence after school, correct? 116 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:38,738 The effects that bullying had on me is even though I had very positive attributes 117 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:42,442 that I was aware that I had, my confidence was at a zero. 118 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:47,113 I wasn't able to talk to girls until I was about 23, 24 years old. 119 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,315 Because of this, I thought I was hideous. 120 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,583 I thought I was ugly. 121 00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:55,355 My entire self-worth to this day is tied almost completely to my weight, 122 00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,925 despite the fact that I'm a reasonably attractive person. 123 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,994 I logically know this, and when I'm thinner, much more so. 124 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:06,632 But all of my self-esteem is tied into my weight even today. 125 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:11,104 It took a lot of time and effort to dig that out of my head. 126 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,239 And even with all that time and effort. 127 00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:14,974 The root of it is still there. 128 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,142 No matter what. 129 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:21,080 Behind these eyes, I will always be a £280.11 year old kid. 130 00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:24,117 That's what drives the machinery of Bruce. 131 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,220 And no matter what I do, no matter how much I try to dig that out, 132 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,758 it is such a core tenet because those early experiences shape you 133 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,761 in ways that something that happens to you when you're 20 or 30 doesn't. 134 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:38,965 But yeah, so so for me, I learned to walk around 135 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:43,236 with an air of confidence and also another skill 136 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:48,040 that I developed was walking around as if I had a degree of authority. 137 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:51,811 When you talk to me about things, I sound like I know what I'm talking about. 138 00:06:52,211 --> 00:06:53,713 Even if I have no clue. 139 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,882 So you stand tall, make eye contact. 140 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,885 You make eye contact. Speak clearly. Smile. 141 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:01,621 Try to be kind in your voice. 142 00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:02,822 Show a little bit of humor. 143 00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:06,993 Nothing buys you more in this world than having a good sense of humor. 144 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:11,431 I only tell me one time that you showed how to smile, to be confident. 145 00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:14,734 I'm like, That's true. But it does help. 146 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:18,604 And when you smile, people are more likely to want 147 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:22,775 to come up and talk to you versus if you're going to have a. 148 00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:24,277 Resting bitch face. 149 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,613 Yes. RB Yes, that's where I was trying to think of. 150 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,215 RB FS Smiling 151 00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:33,252 does help your confidence out, or if you don't feel confident smiling, 152 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:37,690 that simple thing you can do or at least make you appear confident. 153 00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:40,159 It's a certain degree of social lubrication. 154 00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:44,163 If you come off as warm, friendly, approachable, 155 00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,299 that doesn't mean you've got to be a pushover. 156 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,302 That doesn't mean you have to be telling jokes all the time. 157 00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:54,040 It just means that you're putting off welcoming vibes and it's helpful. 158 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,943 Sometimes you feel awkward. 159 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,011 You don't know how to talk to people. 160 00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:01,747 You know, you always think to yourself, If I could go back 161 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:04,617 and say to young me, what would I say? 162 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:08,955 And it would be, You don't have to be afraid of girls. 163 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,958 Don't think of them as anything other than other people. 164 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:16,162 Everything is just other people and treat everybody the way you would like to. 165 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,197 Friendly, warm and just. 166 00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:21,100 You get a lot more just by smiling. Exactly. 167 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,103 There's going to be people out there that are not going to accept that. 168 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,238 And that's fine. 169 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,640 Let them be. Don't let them bother you. 170 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,643 If somebody doesn't value you, respect you, 171 00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:34,046 that is not your problem. 172 00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:35,581 That is their problem. 173 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:39,151 The important thing to realize is that you have value 174 00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:44,190 and your value is not based on anything that anybody else perceives. 175 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,860 If you're out there and there's somebody at your work or at your school 176 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:52,231 who treat you like you're valueless, they're telling you who they are. 177 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,500 You don't need to win them. 178 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,335 You don't need to give them any attention. 179 00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:59,005 You don't need to be concerned about them. 180 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:03,175 There are people out there to care about you and support you and you can find them. 181 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:06,612 So I'm a very introverted person. 182 00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:10,316 Like, for me, I cannot just come up with a way to strike a conversation 183 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,551 with somebody I don't know. 184 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,953 But when I go do my seminars, 185 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,822 what helps me out is I bring a piece of my school with me. 186 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:20,192 I had a big backdrop, you know, characterized behind my name. 187 00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,862 I feel like I'm at home again, and that makes sense. 188 00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:24,830 You also have context. 189 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,666 You have a context to be talking to people. 190 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,334 And that makes a big difference. 191 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:31,337 So when you see somebody that you don't really know, 192 00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:33,005 I can't speak for what's in your head. 193 00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,741 I can speak for what? What certainly was in mine as a kid. 194 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:39,712 What right do I have to interrupt this person's day or life? 195 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,414 Why am I doing this to them? 196 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:46,652 Why am I inflicting myself on this person? 197 00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:48,754 That's the noise in my head. 198 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:53,192 But generally speaking, if you just go up to somebody and say hello. 199 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,629 The worst thing that's going to happen, you're going to be like, Oh, hey. 200 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,465 Or I'm busy. I get that. 201 00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:00,766 What's a follow up? 202 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,934 What's a follow up? 203 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,903 Oh, hey, what's your name? Bob. 204 00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,438 Nice to meet you, Bob. Tim. 205 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,906 And then an awkward silence. 206 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:08,207 Right. 207 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:11,210 Well, you know, so I was incredibly introverted. 208 00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,545 Nobody believes that. 209 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,412 Everybody believes. 210 00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:16,215 How the hell were you introverted? 211 00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:17,383 I don't believe it either. 212 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:21,921 You're seeing the end result of a lot of direct training of myself. 213 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,856 Intention and purpose. 214 00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:26,559 I didn't become an actor because I wanted to act. 215 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:31,330 I became an actor because I was dating a girl who I happened to fall into dating. 216 00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:34,800 And I always figured if I broke up with her, I was going to die alone. 217 00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:38,070 I had to figure out how I was going to be able to talk to somebody. 218 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:42,341 I learned that if I wanted my life to be more interactive, 219 00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:43,643 if I wanted to get people 220 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,913 to respond to me, I was going to have to learn how to bridge the gap. 221 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,949 So I did some things. 222 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,652 Probably the best piece of advice I can give somebody who's like 223 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,389 incredibly shy, who feels like they have difficulty bridging. 224 00:10:56,822 --> 00:11:00,092 One of the best things I ever did for myself is I took an improv class 225 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:05,231 not to become a comedian, but by taking the improv class. 226 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:09,769 What it taught me was how to think on my feet, how to be humorous 227 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,739 to a certain degree, because humor is the greatest social lubrication. 228 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,908 You make somebody laugh. 229 00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,410 They're your friend. 230 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:21,180 You don't have to have that much of a context to talk to the person. 231 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:25,651 I try to be observant, genuinely curious. 232 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:28,788 So you can combat that introverted ness by 233 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:32,558 just being genuinely curious about something unique about them. 234 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,695 And the less physical it is, the better off you are. 235 00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:39,298 You don't want anyone to come up to you go, Hey, Tim, I noticed that you're big. 236 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:40,766 Big in which way? 237 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,769 Bruce In every way possible, big boy. 238 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,373 But no, if somebody comes up to you, it's like, kiddo, karate. 239 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,709 What form? Instantly, the ice is broken. 240 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,644 Oh, well, if I practice this form, 241 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:54,647 there's a common basis you can build a conversation on. 242 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,416 No one's going to stab you because you went up high. 243 00:11:57,416 --> 00:12:00,419 I notice you're got this really cool karate T-shirt on. 244 00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,388 What forms do you do? 245 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,156 You find, like, little moments, 246 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,692 and that can help you because it gives you the context. 247 00:12:06,692 --> 00:12:10,096 The whole idea of this, I'm invading the space. 248 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,964 I do not have the permission. 249 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:14,967 You find something you can use as context. 250 00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:18,871 If you're introverted, it's still going to be an effort of will 251 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:22,942 to push against it because you're going to always want to wallflower even now. 252 00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:26,178 My instinct is to wallflower. 253 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:30,950 So to tie this back into bullying, the benefit of making an effort, 254 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:34,253 even if it's a force of will to learn to push 255 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,656 past your introverted ness, is part of what happens in bullying. 256 00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,225 Is that isolation? 257 00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,427 It's a lot harder to isolate you. 258 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,430 If you're good at improv and you can roll with the punches 259 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:47,867 and you can make things humorous, it's hard to isolate you 260 00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:51,070 when you can reach out and talk to other people. 261 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:55,174 It's hard to isolate you when you are flexible of thought. 262 00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:56,809 I think you covered it all, Bruce. 263 00:12:56,809 --> 00:13:00,780 There's not much more to follow up with that if you got people behind your back. 264 00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:03,616 What's there to worry about? You have people to turn to. 265 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,118 And speaking of things to turn to, I think it's about time 266 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,121 we turn to our guests and get off of talking about me. 267 00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:12,391 Joining us now is Elizabeth Mooney, 268 00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:16,395 the founder of Country Fusion and Dance Fitness for Kids. 269 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,931 Elizabeth, how are you doing? 270 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,066 I'm doing well. How are you? 271 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:22,401 I'm doing awesome, Tim. 272 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:25,171 I'm doing excellent. Bruce, as always. Of course. 273 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,773 I'm really excited, though. 274 00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:33,813 I am super excited to hear about this country fusion line dancing for kids 275 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,816 and how you're making it into an anti-bullying program later on. 276 00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:38,317 But just start. 277 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,320 Tell us a little bit about yourself. 278 00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:42,922 Okay. 279 00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:45,925 So I started dancing at the age of two. 280 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:49,061 I'm from Long Island, New York, born and raised, 281 00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:53,766 and I've been into the fitness industry since my early twenties. 282 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,769 And I performed acted my whole life. 283 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:59,672 How did you get into the fitness industry? 284 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,474 So good question. 285 00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:07,012 My ex-husband at the time was working out at a gym Saturday mornings, 286 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:11,550 so I went with him and the manager there was like, What do you do? 287 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,253 And I'm like, What do you mean? He said, What do you do for a living? 288 00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:15,654 I said, I'm a dancer. 289 00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,656 He's like, Well, why don't you teach fitness classes? 290 00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:20,793 I'm like, I don't know what to do with the fitness classes. 291 00:14:21,093 --> 00:14:22,862 You'll figure it out. 292 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,630 So I said, Okay. 293 00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:28,200 So at that time I was teaching salsa, Latin hip hop. 294 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:32,771 So I had a fitness class and I just sped up the music 295 00:14:32,771 --> 00:14:36,408 to make it a little more fitness wise to get them breaking out of sweat. 296 00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,545 And I went from three people 297 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:43,048 to a brand new class to about 30 people. 298 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:47,253 It was packed to one class a week to about 15, 299 00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:51,257 teaching all over and fitness found me. 300 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:55,261 So is country fusion like a national brand 301 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:58,430 that you started, or is it just like local in Nashville? 302 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,599 So it's everywhere. 303 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:04,103 So I contacted the fitness industry and I was teaching dance. 304 00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:08,040 I was also performing at the time, but I used to go to a dude ranch 305 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,876 since I was six years old in upstate New York. 306 00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:13,545 So that week I played country. 307 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:17,583 I would dance with the cowboys and ride horses 308 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,552 and listen to Cowboy music and country music and everything. 309 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:25,357 When, as I got older, I, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, 310 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:29,061 all these songs started coming out and I was like, You know what? 311 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:33,499 I'm going to put a couple of these songs in my dance fitness class in Queens, 312 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,702 and I choreographed a cute little dance to them. 313 00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:41,407 And then when I was teaching in the class, I saw everyone was loving it. 314 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:42,374 In that moment. 315 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:45,411 I remember I looked to the left, I saw the Manhattan skyline, 316 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,780 and I was like, That's it. 317 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,984 There's no country fitness program out there from me 318 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:53,786 being in the industry for so long. 319 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,789 I knew I wanted low intensity interval training 320 00:15:57,022 --> 00:16:01,026 and I knew I wanted a program where people could get more than just working out. 321 00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:04,830 I wanted them to learn something because I know I don't have a lot of time. 322 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:07,866 So if I'm going to put a time in, I want to get the most I can out of it. 323 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:12,571 I wanted them to learn actual line dances, but in a fitness form. 324 00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:16,008 So I put the programs together and I say it's 325 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:19,712 where sneakers and water bottles meets whiskey and cowboy boots. 326 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:20,913 What they learn in the class. 327 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,915 We did the dance at night. 328 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,618 So I just really wanted to make it for everybody. 329 00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:29,588 So children, seniors, everyone in between. 330 00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:31,223 Men, women. Right. 331 00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:35,094 But I want to circle this back towards the focus of this podcast, 332 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,362 which is bullying 333 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,765 and the way we deal and process and the effect it has on our lives. 334 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:44,103 So my first question to you about that is, as a child, 335 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,005 did you have any experience with bullying or was this 336 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,673 something you encountered just after 337 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,943 you got into your fitness business and moved your way into Nashville. 338 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,146 As a child? I really did. 339 00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:57,516 I always face hardship 340 00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:01,020 in the way of like more of jealousy. 341 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,023 And like I remember actually 342 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,793 in high school, I came over to talk about this. 343 00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,328 I was a senior. 344 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,964 It was my first week of high school. 345 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,665 And part of me, if I'm 346 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,435 saying anything that 347 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,438 maybe is too much, but this is what happened. 348 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:23,709 So I entered high school and I was getting attention 349 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:27,379 from the seniors and I was on the volleyball team. 350 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:32,451 And when I went outside to go, the bus on the concrete was written. 351 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,921 Liz Mooney has big tits 352 00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:39,024 and mind you, I'm a kid. 353 00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:41,760 And there was nothing there. 354 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:42,861 There was nothing. 355 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,797 And so that was really hurtful. 356 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:48,167 And I remember my whole volleyball team scrubbed that out. 357 00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,336 So that was what I encountered. 358 00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:53,105 And was that a one time occurrence? 359 00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:56,041 Yeah, that was a one time occurrence with that. 360 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:59,011 But I remember that was my first week in high school. 361 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:00,913 I didn't want to tell anyone, like I didn't want 362 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:05,084 my mom knowing or anyone knowing I was, you know, I was embarrassed. 363 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:09,254 But I saw the efforts of my volleyball team to scrub it out. 364 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,924 And and I really understand why. 365 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,792 And I know who who did it. 366 00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:18,297 So through that, I definitely encountered jealousy in my life 367 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:21,600 and people more that wanted to take me down. 368 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,303 Not so much bullying. 369 00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:29,208 It really the bullying started when I came to Nashville in my adulthood. 370 00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:30,442 And we will get to that. 371 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,811 I did want to ask another question in the follow up. 372 00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:35,948 You've said that you dealt with a lot of jealousy and a lot of negativity. 373 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,451 Did you have parental support through it? 374 00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:42,955 I didn't tell my parents a lot. 375 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,724 I felt like, I don't know. 376 00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:48,060 I kind of felt like I was always in it on my own. 377 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:50,863 I felt like it was always like me against the world. 378 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:54,299 So no, no one really no one really knew anything. 379 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,936 I really didn't feel like I had anyone to really talk to about it. 380 00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,740 So it all started when you moved to Nashville. 381 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,542 You were successful in New York. 382 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:04,543 What happened? 383 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:08,147 How did bullying or harassment enter into your world? 384 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:12,985 It was something I didn't expect at all because it was already hard enough. 385 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:16,121 I left my family when I knew up north, and I'm 386 00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:19,191 a single mom coming here, starting this business. 387 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:23,061 I went out to show face, so I was dancing. 388 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,364 There's a nearby honky tonk. 389 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:28,367 Mostly the older women. 390 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,535 They did not take me. 391 00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:30,302 They didn't like me. 392 00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:32,771 They thought I was to steal their man. 393 00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:35,641 They called me a Yankee. 394 00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:40,846 They were so hateful and mean to the point where, like, 395 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:44,116 I literally when I would go there, I would walk in the door 396 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:47,252 and people would say they would watch me and I would scan the room to see 397 00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,187 who was there. 398 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,190 Just so I knew to watch my back. 399 00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:53,959 You know, I danced, I did my thing. 400 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,360 But they all were very 401 00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:59,665 I feel how much they didn't like me. 402 00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:03,402 And most these people I had never spoken to a day in my life. 403 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:06,138 And here I am. 404 00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:10,609 I'm about positivity and and spreading love and help. 405 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:14,913 And I just I knew I was jealousy and I knew 406 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:18,150 they didn't like that I was a dancer from New York, 407 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,287 but I just was never expecting that. 408 00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:25,324 Were these women dancers as well? No. 409 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:29,161 They just like you because they thought you looked better than them. 410 00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:31,863 Yeah. And they thought like I was was still their man. 411 00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,432 When you must. 412 00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,701 You don't want your man 413 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,970 when even got in my face 414 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:41,073 one time and that one to back down. 415 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,708 But I do have a brand. 416 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:46,445 I am a mom, you know, and the owner of the bar had a kick her out 417 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,814 which she was in my face. And I mean, older women. 418 00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,349 I mean, like I'm in my third. 419 00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:53,218 She must be like in her sixties. 420 00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:57,155 So did this spread to outside of the club as well? 421 00:20:57,522 --> 00:20:58,890 I was mostly there. 422 00:20:58,890 --> 00:20:59,891 It was mostly there. 423 00:20:59,891 --> 00:21:04,596 And like, why I even went there was because how I found 424 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:08,500 my studio was through the owner of it. 425 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:15,540 So I through people I got connected to this area of Nashville and I went there. 426 00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:19,011 It was during Calvin, I met the owner and then he is like, Well, 427 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:22,114 I told him what I was doing while I was in Nashville for a studio. 428 00:21:22,814 --> 00:21:25,117 So he was like, There's a whole strip right here. 429 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:30,122 So I found the studio, so he was really the only person I knew. 430 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:35,994 So I thought like a comfort, like a dad, kind of in a way. 431 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,096 So I didn't have anyone. 432 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:41,099 So when I would do the back and forth and come 433 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:44,403 there, the people I knew were there. 434 00:21:44,936 --> 00:21:47,806 So there were some good people too, and they were my comfort. 435 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,141 I didn't know anyone else. 436 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,110 Did you ever confront any of these women? 437 00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:54,713 Did you ever do anything to try to deal with it? 438 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:57,716 Did you ask for intervention from the owner? 439 00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,686 So with the owner, I said, 440 00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:04,656 you know, that I was going to deal with this coming here. 441 00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:07,559 And he was like, Yes. And like, you knew this. 442 00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:10,562 He is like, I knew you and you were going to cause a stir. 443 00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:13,865 And I'm like, You prepped me. 444 00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:15,667 Why didn't you give me a heads up? 445 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:19,771 Because I was not expecting this, but confronting them. 446 00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:22,808 No, but as time went on, Bruce, I did. 447 00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:24,910 But it took time. 448 00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:29,247 At that moment I was still knew I was trying to keep the peace. 449 00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:32,250 I don't like drama, but it was like they were out for me. 450 00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:33,985 I just didn't even stay there long. 451 00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:36,788 When I go there, I just popped in dance, showed bass, 452 00:22:36,788 --> 00:22:38,924 did my thing, dancing and left, and that was it. 453 00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:44,496 It wasn't until this past, I guess, was when everything 454 00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:48,266 got really bad, and that's when I started standing up for myself. 455 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,702 In what regards did it get really bad? 456 00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:53,372 So every year 457 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:58,243 I'll do like a photo shoot for my brand because as I get older and evolve, 458 00:22:58,243 --> 00:23:01,246 I want to keep up with where I'm in my life. 459 00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:06,685 And I asked the owner, I said, Can I do a photo shoot by the pool table 460 00:23:06,685 --> 00:23:10,155 because I want it where New York Burlesque 461 00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:13,392 dancing met the honky tonk. 462 00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,193 So New York meets Nashville. 463 00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:17,796 And he goes again. Sure, that would be great. 464 00:23:17,796 --> 00:23:20,298 So did a photo shoot. Everything was fine. 465 00:23:20,298 --> 00:23:21,266 I said to him. 466 00:23:21,266 --> 00:23:24,836 I said, Any of the photos that come, I'll tell you. 467 00:23:24,836 --> 00:23:27,939 And the place, the venue to promote. 468 00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:30,709 Because in New York I grew up like you tag everyone. 469 00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:33,712 You tagged the photographer, the makeup artist, everybody. 470 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,981 You said, okay, great. 471 00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:41,787 So when they came in, I went on vacation and I put on my Facebook story, 472 00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:45,490 the photo and a song, and I tagged him in the venue. 473 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,993 Well, I got a call the next day. 474 00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:51,630 I was taking my daughter to the beach and there was a problem. 475 00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:53,398 And the problem 476 00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:56,401 was that I had a married man. 477 00:23:57,135 --> 00:24:01,273 It caused a big stir that the daughter was upset, 478 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:04,409 the wife is mad, and now everyone's on board. 479 00:24:04,810 --> 00:24:08,013 And I couldn't understand because it was just one business. 480 00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:11,983 Tagging another had nothing to do, and it was a professional photo shoot. 481 00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:13,084 I just I couldn't stand. 482 00:24:13,084 --> 00:24:17,823 So I contacted the owner and I said I heard what happened. 483 00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:20,292 Please extend my apologies. 484 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:21,827 That was never my intent. 485 00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:23,762 I'm going to take it down. 486 00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:27,032 When I got back, I said, I'm just going to stay away from it. 487 00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:28,500 I thought it just might blow over. 488 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:31,970 While it didn't, I was banned for six months 489 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:36,341 and then by this woman who is really, really hateful of me. 490 00:24:36,341 --> 00:24:38,210 And I, again, I never spoke to her before. 491 00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:41,947 So you were banned from going to this club by this woman? 492 00:24:41,947 --> 00:24:43,648 Who was this woman? 493 00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:46,485 It was the owner's wife. Oh, okay. 494 00:24:47,452 --> 00:24:50,155 And then she was still talking about it. 495 00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:54,092 And this woman that was there, she caused a lot of problems. 496 00:24:54,092 --> 00:24:57,095 She didn't like me from the beginning, and I never spoken to her before. 497 00:24:57,662 --> 00:25:03,502 She put the picture of me, she screenshot it, she got it from somebody 498 00:25:04,269 --> 00:25:07,539 and she put on Facebook and called me a Yankee whore 499 00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:09,941 at that point. 500 00:25:09,941 --> 00:25:13,211 Now it got out of hand because, I mean, I'm a single mom. 501 00:25:13,211 --> 00:25:15,413 I work really hard and it was not my intent. 502 00:25:15,413 --> 00:25:18,383 And now this is going to affect my daughter. 503 00:25:18,383 --> 00:25:19,618 Did it affect your daughter? 504 00:25:19,618 --> 00:25:23,154 No, because I right away, 505 00:25:23,421 --> 00:25:28,293 I went into the honky tonk at that point because my gym, my studio's nearby. 506 00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:31,263 And when I saw everything, I was in my studio. 507 00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:35,133 So I contacted the wife and I said, this is getting out of hand. 508 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:36,902 It's now on social media. 509 00:25:36,902 --> 00:25:39,905 I have a phase, I'm a brand, and this affects my daughter. 510 00:25:40,105 --> 00:25:42,073 And then she wasn't answering me. 511 00:25:42,073 --> 00:25:46,177 So I walked into the honky tonk and she went out the back door. 512 00:25:46,611 --> 00:25:49,381 The way she wouldn't be. Talk to. Me. 513 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:50,482 So it was a timeline. 514 00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:53,685 Here we are talking about like the time you posted that picture, 515 00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:57,222 when they screenshotted it to time, you're going back into the bar. 516 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,324 Three weeks. Three weeks. Okay. Three weeks. 517 00:26:00,692 --> 00:26:02,561 And then I see the daughter, 518 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,730 and this is where I learned I was banned because I didn't know 519 00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:08,833 I was just staying away, you know, just trying to keep the peace. 520 00:26:09,367 --> 00:26:12,904 And then when I went there to talk to the wife and to talk to the daughter, 521 00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:15,974 the security was like, Honey, I'm sorry is how you your band. 522 00:26:15,974 --> 00:26:17,075 I'm like, Are you serious? 523 00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:20,045 I'm like, you know, I don't even care what I care about. 524 00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:23,448 I'm like, you guys, The talk be however you want to be mean here, 525 00:26:23,448 --> 00:26:26,785 but once you put on social media, I said, I have a problem. 526 00:26:27,185 --> 00:26:29,754 How did that affect your business? 527 00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:32,290 Luckily it didn't because I 528 00:26:32,290 --> 00:26:35,293 literally took care of this right away. 529 00:26:35,627 --> 00:26:38,997 It didn't affect business, but it's affected. 530 00:26:39,664 --> 00:26:43,501 It affected in a time of how people viewed me 531 00:26:43,568 --> 00:26:48,807 and they thought I had a thing with the owner and I didn't. 532 00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:53,812 From there they took my voice away and it was so hurtful. 533 00:26:53,812 --> 00:26:54,546 It was so hurtful. 534 00:26:54,546 --> 00:26:58,483 This is a place that majority it was people that I felt comfortable 535 00:26:58,483 --> 00:27:01,920 with and the wives, and they've lived there very long. 536 00:27:02,187 --> 00:27:04,589 And then I'm banned for the photo. 537 00:27:05,690 --> 00:27:08,660 Wesley I got in a fight, did anything, and I've never been 538 00:27:08,660 --> 00:27:11,963 told to leave someone before, let alone banned. 539 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,666 And where was the owner in all of this? 540 00:27:14,666 --> 00:27:16,101 What did he ever say to you? 541 00:27:16,101 --> 00:27:20,372 So when I first contacted him and said, I'm so sorry, he's again, 542 00:27:20,505 --> 00:27:24,075 my wife's unhappy about that, blah, blah, blah, that was it. 543 00:27:24,843 --> 00:27:27,078 Then I was staying away. 544 00:27:27,078 --> 00:27:31,449 Then I contacted him about when that woman posted. 545 00:27:31,449 --> 00:27:34,185 So Yankee, who are I'm like, this has gotten out of hand. 546 00:27:34,185 --> 00:27:38,890 He said, These girls have gone crazy. 547 00:27:39,524 --> 00:27:42,193 That's all. You said You did nothing. 548 00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:42,961 That's all. 549 00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:47,632 So he understands that, like it's not me, but he's also not doing anything. 550 00:27:47,632 --> 00:27:49,401 Like, it's funny to this day. 551 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:54,472 People said he should have just said Liz was tagging me in the photo. 552 00:27:54,973 --> 00:27:58,610 She said that I knew that and it was just a professional thing. 553 00:27:58,677 --> 00:27:59,310 He never did. 554 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:03,615 Because you also said you take the make up artists and everybody else, correct? 555 00:28:04,082 --> 00:28:04,716 No, no, no. 556 00:28:04,716 --> 00:28:07,752 In New York, I was I was taught that you tag 557 00:28:07,752 --> 00:28:11,823 everyone, makeup artist, hairstyles, everyone in that photoshoot. 558 00:28:11,823 --> 00:28:14,192 I did my own makeup, I did my own hair. 559 00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:14,959 Gotcha. 560 00:28:14,959 --> 00:28:17,128 So there's no one else to tag. 561 00:28:17,128 --> 00:28:18,763 That makes. Sense, right? 562 00:28:18,763 --> 00:28:19,097 Yeah. 563 00:28:19,097 --> 00:28:22,534 So Instagram, I tagged the photographer, but I wasn't friends 564 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:26,237 with the photographer on Facebook, so I only tagged the venue and him. 565 00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:29,374 That was the only reason I even tagged him 566 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:32,310 was because I told him I was going to tag him. 567 00:28:32,310 --> 00:28:36,314 So he had control of the photos of what he wanted to possibly promote. 568 00:28:36,581 --> 00:28:40,285 So it was just completely a professional layout. 569 00:28:40,518 --> 00:28:42,087 That was it. And like 570 00:28:43,021 --> 00:28:43,788 if I, if I 571 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:47,392 honestly, if I wanted him, I, I wouldn't have done that. 572 00:28:47,659 --> 00:28:49,027 Yeah. 573 00:28:49,027 --> 00:28:53,431 You know, and that's where the whole thing, when there 574 00:28:53,498 --> 00:28:57,435 so I was like, okay, you don't like this photo. 575 00:28:58,002 --> 00:29:00,505 Well now I'm going to put on a billboard and 576 00:29:00,505 --> 00:29:03,508 I put on a billboard right outside the studio 577 00:29:03,975 --> 00:29:06,978 and the honkytonk and everything, 578 00:29:07,112 --> 00:29:09,380 and I put my company and everything 579 00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:12,851 exactly what it was meant to do, which was branding and everything. 580 00:29:12,851 --> 00:29:17,322 I made sure I put it on the billboard because you took away my voice. 581 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:20,291 Well, here you go. Now I'm going to pass by it every single day. 582 00:29:20,291 --> 00:29:23,962 Did you have any friends in Nashville that you kind of turn to 583 00:29:23,962 --> 00:29:25,663 for some help as well? 584 00:29:25,663 --> 00:29:29,601 No, because the one girl that was telling me who was my friend, 585 00:29:29,934 --> 00:29:32,971 she told me that 586 00:29:33,371 --> 00:29:37,575 if he started dating someone and he was friends with the owners 587 00:29:37,575 --> 00:29:41,179 as well, she went against me because she said she'll be damned 588 00:29:41,179 --> 00:29:45,884 if she loses another man and she went against me. 589 00:29:45,884 --> 00:29:46,651 That's pathetic. 590 00:29:46,651 --> 00:29:48,153 It sounds like some high school girl 591 00:29:48,153 --> 00:29:52,157 drama stuff like you deal with like and senior high school. 592 00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:54,759 You know? And these are grown women. 593 00:29:54,759 --> 00:29:55,894 Yep. Yep. 594 00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:57,862 She says she'll be down. She lives in another man. 595 00:29:57,862 --> 00:29:59,864 And she totally went against me. 596 00:29:59,864 --> 00:30:01,900 Went with them And it's it's funny. 597 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:04,035 So this goes full circle everything. 598 00:30:04,035 --> 00:30:07,572 So yeah I felt very alone and no one, I felt alone. 599 00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:10,108 It was definitely the low part of a lot 600 00:30:10,108 --> 00:30:13,111 like I was dealing with some of my partner at the studio. 601 00:30:13,244 --> 00:30:17,549 And then the guy I was dating there broke out right before all this stuff. 602 00:30:18,049 --> 00:30:21,119 It was a mess, so I just stayed away. 603 00:30:21,619 --> 00:30:23,855 I tossed my family back home, but like, 604 00:30:25,356 --> 00:30:26,491 I still had to go to 605 00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:29,861 my studio and pass by these honky tonks for six months. 606 00:30:30,328 --> 00:30:32,797 What was some motivation for you 607 00:30:32,797 --> 00:30:36,267 to stand up for yourself and walk back into that club again. 608 00:30:36,801 --> 00:30:39,037 After the six months? Yeah. 609 00:30:39,037 --> 00:30:40,638 I'll tell you. So just real quick. 610 00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:43,641 So I started the kids program because I saw the Netflix show 611 00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:47,612 and I was like, Wow, what these kids go through being bullied 612 00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:50,915 and they have no one to talk to and they take away their voice and like, 613 00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:52,917 I couldn't change what these people thought of me. 614 00:30:52,917 --> 00:30:55,386 Like the other people, they all thought of me anyway. 615 00:30:55,386 --> 00:30:56,087 And it wasn't true. 616 00:30:56,087 --> 00:30:59,490 And I thought about these kids and that's how I created the anti bullying 617 00:31:00,124 --> 00:31:00,992 through country fusion. 618 00:31:00,992 --> 00:31:02,193 So one of the kids program, 619 00:31:02,193 --> 00:31:05,763 I wanted a purpose, but literally it was like it was a vision of 620 00:31:05,763 --> 00:31:10,535 I wanted something deeper and I related to the kids in that moment. 621 00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:11,736 So my voice was taken. 622 00:31:11,736 --> 00:31:13,037 People were looking at me in a different way. 623 00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:16,507 They were talking about me and I had I couldn't even defend myself. 624 00:31:16,507 --> 00:31:17,108 I was bad. 625 00:31:17,108 --> 00:31:20,144 And so six months later, 626 00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:24,549 one of the women sitting around here, her husband passed away. 627 00:31:25,350 --> 00:31:28,353 So they were having a benefit and they were looking for donations. 628 00:31:28,353 --> 00:31:30,688 And in the valley, you're a family. 629 00:31:31,656 --> 00:31:32,991 So they were collecting 630 00:31:32,991 --> 00:31:35,994 the donations and they said to drop it off. 631 00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:38,730 So I walked in and out of my donation. 632 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:42,433 When I walked in, the daughter came out to hug me. 633 00:31:42,867 --> 00:31:45,837 Ronnie is there, the owner, 634 00:31:45,837 --> 00:31:49,574 and they said to me, they're like, You're welcome here. 635 00:31:49,974 --> 00:31:52,877 You're a good person, you're a good mom. 636 00:31:52,877 --> 00:31:54,479 And sorry. 637 00:31:54,479 --> 00:31:57,482 I just I wasn't expecting it. 638 00:31:57,482 --> 00:32:00,485 And I was like, I need a minute. 639 00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:02,020 I need a minute. 640 00:32:02,020 --> 00:32:04,322 And they kept on going and everything. 641 00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:06,691 And you're a good person, You're good mom. 642 00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:07,759 And they just kept on. 643 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:10,895 I said, I know, I know. 644 00:32:11,496 --> 00:32:13,464 What made them change. 645 00:32:13,464 --> 00:32:18,236 If you know why after she is the harlot of Nashville, is it? 646 00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:19,971 You're a good mom. 647 00:32:19,971 --> 00:32:21,773 You're a good teacher. 648 00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:23,241 Little bit of a change there. Yeah. 649 00:32:23,241 --> 00:32:26,377 So what happened was they had the time, the six months 650 00:32:26,377 --> 00:32:30,048 to experience those hateful people of me, of their own. 651 00:32:30,682 --> 00:32:32,984 They saw those people that were extremely hateful. 652 00:32:32,984 --> 00:32:36,554 They got to experience them with themselves, 653 00:32:36,554 --> 00:32:37,989 with me not being in the picture. 654 00:32:37,989 --> 00:32:43,361 So I was more of like a decoy, like they put everything on me. 655 00:32:43,361 --> 00:32:46,264 But once I was gone. They themselves. 656 00:32:47,265 --> 00:32:49,200 Yeah, 657 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,201 Yeah. 658 00:32:50,201 --> 00:32:51,636 And I knew that too. 659 00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:56,240 I knew so hurtful and everything I said, I knew myself. 660 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,575 I put my head down on the pillow. 661 00:32:57,575 --> 00:33:00,778 I know what happened. And everything will. 662 00:33:01,079 --> 00:33:05,083 The truth will shine and everything will come out in the wash. 663 00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:07,852 And I knew that. And it did. It took six months, but it did. 664 00:33:07,852 --> 00:33:11,089 So what advice do you have for other adults 665 00:33:11,089 --> 00:33:13,725 who may be going through this same issue? 666 00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:14,859 Just feeling like 667 00:33:14,859 --> 00:33:17,996 the world is against them, even though it's nothing that they did wrong? 668 00:33:18,963 --> 00:33:24,602 It's so hurtful because you feel so vulnerable, you feel defenseless. 669 00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:27,572 So I totally get it and understand 670 00:33:28,406 --> 00:33:30,875 what I did. 671 00:33:30,875 --> 00:33:35,313 I really dug deep in myself because I knew who I was. 672 00:33:35,813 --> 00:33:38,349 I did pray and I knew that things 673 00:33:38,349 --> 00:33:41,352 would come out and the truth would come out. 674 00:33:41,419 --> 00:33:44,222 And I stayed true to myself. 675 00:33:44,222 --> 00:33:46,858 And I and I love my I know I'm a good person. 676 00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:49,961 I have good intentions and everything I it would come out. 677 00:33:49,961 --> 00:33:54,365 I really have faith in what God will show 678 00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:56,300 because I had no control of anything else. 679 00:33:56,300 --> 00:34:01,372 And I just continued on my path and I felt protected and I just 680 00:34:01,672 --> 00:34:06,310 kept on going forward and bettered myself and my dreams and my goals. 681 00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:10,982 And I started writing a book and it was something I wanted to do. 682 00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:14,819 And I didn't know if it was ever going to go back into honky tonk. 683 00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:17,221 I had no idea. I had no idea what was going to happen. 684 00:34:17,221 --> 00:34:19,657 But I just kept on going forward in my path. 685 00:34:19,657 --> 00:34:24,128 I can't change the way people view and think of me, but I know myself. 686 00:34:24,662 --> 00:34:26,130 So in an actionable way. 687 00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:29,133 What advice would you give to somebody else going through it? 688 00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:34,639 Take that energy and the pain and that hurt and better yourselves. 689 00:34:34,972 --> 00:34:38,676 And then the day you lost control, you feel vulnerable 690 00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:41,913 because you can't control what they're thinking, saying or anything. 691 00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:45,316 But what you do have control of is your actions and yourselves. 692 00:34:45,983 --> 00:34:51,122 So you take that hurt, take that pain, put it into yourself and better yourself. 693 00:34:51,122 --> 00:34:53,758 That's really that's one thing you have control over. 694 00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:55,460 You don't control over other people. 695 00:34:55,460 --> 00:35:00,598 So my advice is, yes, talk about it if that makes you feel better, 696 00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:05,369 talk about it with people, but then really sit with your sit with yourselves. 697 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,706 Think about what's your goals, what your dreams, what is it that you want? 698 00:35:09,140 --> 00:35:12,710 And instead of the depression and the sadness you're feeling, 699 00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:16,047 turn that into motivation and go in that direction. 700 00:35:16,047 --> 00:35:17,515 Go into a positive direction. 701 00:35:17,515 --> 00:35:20,318 Try to spin it into a positive, which is what I did. 702 00:35:21,352 --> 00:35:21,819 Please. 703 00:35:21,819 --> 00:35:24,655 In the wrap up, you have this anti-bullying program 704 00:35:24,655 --> 00:35:26,524 which is connected to dance. 705 00:35:26,524 --> 00:35:27,592 What's special about it? 706 00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:29,894 What makes it an anti-bullying program? 707 00:35:29,894 --> 00:35:34,365 So we're going to open up the program talking about bullying. 708 00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:38,169 So we want to be in schools and just make it kind of a safe haven. 709 00:35:38,503 --> 00:35:42,773 We want to talk about want to talk about what bullying is, an awareness 710 00:35:42,773 --> 00:35:47,211 and make it an area and a class to open up with for people 711 00:35:47,211 --> 00:35:51,816 that maybe that are being bullied and they have a place to talk about it. 712 00:35:52,517 --> 00:35:58,055 So we just want to talk about awareness, what it is and who you can talk to. 713 00:35:58,055 --> 00:36:04,195 Someone is bullying and kind of make a comfort safe haven for people, for kids. 714 00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:09,467 Then after that, we're going to have a Sundance dance fitness program. 715 00:36:10,034 --> 00:36:11,769 So they're going to exercise. 716 00:36:11,769 --> 00:36:12,503 They're feeling good. 717 00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:16,207 But then we're going to end the program with words of affirmation. 718 00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:18,376 So we are kind. 719 00:36:18,376 --> 00:36:20,878 We are loves to instill that. 720 00:36:20,878 --> 00:36:25,550 So really, it's about planting seeds of positivity 721 00:36:26,150 --> 00:36:29,820 and kindness and love and also fun fitness, but 722 00:36:29,820 --> 00:36:34,559 also creating an area for the kids to feel they could talk to someone. 723 00:36:34,992 --> 00:36:35,426 Love it. 724 00:36:36,761 --> 00:36:39,897 So if we wanted to contact you, if we wanted to find you, 725 00:36:39,897 --> 00:36:43,201 if we wanted to come dance with you, how would we do this? 726 00:36:43,668 --> 00:36:46,804 So the website is country Fusion dot net. 727 00:36:47,138 --> 00:36:50,675 My email is Elizabeth at Country Fusion dot Net 728 00:36:51,409 --> 00:36:54,745 and an Instagram Contribution LLC in the Facebook. 729 00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:57,582 Awesome. Well, thank you for joining us. 730 00:36:57,582 --> 00:36:58,816 Yeah, thank you. 731 00:36:58,816 --> 00:36:59,884 I appreciate it. 732 00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:02,253 Thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you. 733 00:37:02,253 --> 00:37:04,889 And as for finding us, you can find us 734 00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:08,326 now on Facebook at our Karate chop bowling support group. 735 00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:10,728 Just search for it and we'll be there. 736 00:37:10,728 --> 00:37:14,999 Also, we would love to hear your story so you can email that to us 737 00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:18,669 at Karate Chop bullying at gmail dot com. 738 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:24,008 If you yourself are being bullied and don't know where to reach out to find 739 00:37:24,008 --> 00:37:28,713 more information at the government website at stop bullying dot gov. 740 00:37:29,213 --> 00:37:34,018 You can also reach out to pacer dot org backslash bullying 741 00:37:34,452 --> 00:37:37,288 and if you find yourself dealing with dark thoughts, 742 00:37:37,288 --> 00:37:40,925 if you are thinking about harming yourself or even something even more, 743 00:37:41,292 --> 00:37:44,295 you can reach out to the National Suicide Hotline. 744 00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:46,530 And that phone number is very simple. 745 00:37:46,530 --> 00:37:48,432 It is 988. 746 00:37:49,734 --> 00:37:52,637 I'm Tim Flynn for Bruce Noxon. 747 00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:54,972 We are here to break the silence of bullying. 748 00:37:54,972 --> 00:37:55,973 Thank you for listening. 749 00:37:55,973 --> 00:37:58,142 We'll continue this conversation next week.