00:00:06 Archita: Sometimes the deepest wounds in our lives quietly carry the seeds of our greatest awakening. Pain. Trauma, loss. These are words we often try to avoid. Yet many people who walk through those valleys later say something surprising that their suffering revealed a deeper Purpose, but what does that really mean? And how do you begin to see meaning when you're still in the middle of the hurt? Today we are exploring that journey through faith, healing, and the courage to keep believing that even our hardest chapters can hold wisdom.

00:00:48 Archita: Hello and welcome to Healing Horizons, a space where we explore healing, transformation, and the many parts that help us move forward with hope. I am your host and today we are joined by Lashanda Hardage, also known as Sapphire Sister, a pastor, evangelist, spiritual leader, Christian counselor and life coach who has spent decades guiding people through faith, resilience, and spiritual growth. In this episode, we are talking about something deeply personal. For many of us, the purpose behind pain and trauma, how to face loss, and how spiritual healing can help us rebuild meaning when life feels overwhelming. It's such a blessing to have you here today.

00:01:38 Lashonda Hartdige (Sapphire Sista): Thank you, thank you. It's a pleasure to be here.

00:01:43 Archita: And the pleasure is all ours, really mine and the listeners. Because today we will be learning so much from you. And I hope by the end of this episode, a lot of us will have more answers to the questions that we have carried on for too long. So yeah. Lashunda before we go deeper into the topic, I'd love to begin with something simple. When you look back at your own journey, are the trials, the revelations, and the faith that carried you through what first happened? What first helped you begin to see that even painful experiences might hold a deeper purpose?

00:02:26 Lashonda Hartdige (Sapphire Sista): What first helped me to see that my feelings would lead me to a deeper purpose. Um, oh, that's a good question. Oh my gosh. Oh, wow. I have to think back because I have definitely experienced a lot of, um, hurt. Um, even as a child, um, and I do realize that I had to realize, uh, later in life that a lot of our, you know, hurt and a lot of our trauma, a lot of our pain, a lot of our circumstances that we end up in are all rooted from our childhood, from, you know, traumas that took place in our childhood. So it wasn't until I became mature in the Lord. I had to, you know, go through some things and, and some purification and sanctification and get an understanding of, you know, the heart and the mind of God. It wasn't until then that I realized that how he operates and how he orchestrates the situations that take place in our life for a particular reason. Because when you come to realize that God is in control, that God has ordered our steps, that God has created us, and that God is the creator, and that nothing takes place on the earth without God's knowledge or approval. Nothing takes place on the earth without God's knowledge or his approval. And so with that understanding, knowing that, um, the things that he allowed to happen in my life were for a purpose, it was for a reason because the Word of God says that God has a plan for us. He has a plan and a purpose for us. And the plan is not to hurt us or to harm us, but it is to give us a hope and a future. And so we have to be able to endure some things. We have to be able to go through some things. And there's a reason that he allows us to overcome some things so that we'd be able to relate to other people that are coming behind us, that are going through similar or the same situations. So yeah, it was it wasn't until I became mature in the Lord later in life that I understood how my traumas affected me and how they were to, um, help me and be able to help someone else. Yeah.

00:05:10 Archita: Yeah. That, that really puts things into perspective because I, I, even, I always believe that, you know, um, God sees the bigger picture and we can only see the a small portion of it. So he always knows what's what's best for us. So even if it's it looks like things aren't working out for us. It's leading us somewhere, somewhere that we might not know, but somewhere that is, you know, best for us. So yeah, you have explained it perfectly.

00:05:46 Lashonda Hartdige (Sapphire Sista): Yes, definitely.

00:05:48 Archita: Yeah. And something many people struggle with is the phrase that everything happens for a reason. For someone who is grieving or dealing with trauma, that statement can sometimes feel confusing or even painful to hear for. For example, if someone lost some their loved ones or, um, you know, someone lost their house or a job. So, you know, if they hear that everything happens for a reason, they might not really comprehend it and feel that it is unfair. So I'm curious, from your perspective as a spiritual leader and counselor, what do people often misunderstand about that idea?

00:06:32 Lashonda Hartdige (Sapphire Sista): Well, they misunderstand that, um, that God is allowing things to hurt people and that things happen. Um, they must understand the mind of God. That's what it is. People misunderstand. They don't understand his mind and his heart posture. And when, when the Bible tells us that his ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts, we. We can't fathom that a God that is supposed to be of love can allow certain things to happen that don't feel good, that can allow certain things to happen that are not, um, you know, uh, Joyful or happy thing. You know what I mean? They. How can a God allow, you know. Things to take place that would hurt somebody. Um, and so they don't understand the mindset of God, but they have to realize that, you know, God gave his only begotten son. He offered him up to die for us, right? So that we can live. He allowed his son to go through so much torture, so much pain, so much ridicule, so much. Um, we can't even understand how much Christ suffered for how long, you know, and, and he had to watch that he had to allow that to happen. And his heart was grieved in that very moment because of what his son went through. So people realize that, but it was for a greater good. It was the means to an end. You understand what I'm saying? It was a purpose in the pain that Christ had to go to. It was a purpose and it had to happen. And it was set to happen from the beginning of time. He, he, you know, sacrificed his son before the world began. Right. Amen. And so we have to understand the mind of God in order to understand that we're going to go through some things. A lot of people believe that when they become saved and when they, you know, come into the kingdom of God and they accept Christ into their life, that we're not supposed to go through anything. That everything is supposed to be a bed of roses and everything is supposed to go smoothly, and everything is supposed to be perfect. And it's not. It's just not. That's just not the truth. And so when we understand that, the Bible tells us that many, many are the afflictions of the righteous. Hallelujah. But he will deliver us from them all. And we have to hold on to that. And we have to believe that. And then the Bible also tells us that they that endure to the end shall be saved. So just that statement alone is telling me that we're going to have to go through some things, and we're going to have to make it to the end, right? It's going to be a lot of people that are not going to be able to take what's coming, right. They're going to give up. They're going to, you know, um, be so overwhelmed with the emotion that they're going to not make it. And so they won't be able to, to be saved because you're not going to be able to go through. We gotta understand that, you know, Christ suffered for us. And in order for us to reign with him as King, for us to reign with him in glory, we have to suffer. And so there's just some things that we have to go through that are going to be inevitable. But it's also, you know, this is God's way of maturing you. This is God's way of, of um, teaching you endurance and, and preparing you for whatever it is to come and whatever it is that comes your way, that trauma or that circumstance or that pain or that hurt, understand that you can handle it. You can handle it, right? He told you, I will. I will not give you no more than what you can handle. And it's not going to kill us, right? It's not going to kill us. It's going to make us stronger. And so that's what we need to understand that that salvation, you know, um, it's not soft, it's not, um, cuddly. It's not a bed of roses. We're going to have to endure some things. We're going to have to go through some things. We're going to have to suffer. We're going to have to accept the know sometimes. You know what I mean? We're going to have to go through hurt. We're going to have to experience loss. We're going to have to experience pain. And Christ did it, too. Christ went through everything that we're going to go through. We just have to learn how to do it in him. Amen. Hopefully that wasn't too long.

00:11:22 Archita: No, I mean, thank you for sharing that because that is such an important distinction. It reminds us that purpose doesn't mean pain was meant to harm us. It means something meaningful can emerge from how we walk through it.

00:11:38 Speaker 3: Mhm. Mhm. Yes, exactly. Exactly right. Yeah.

00:11:44 Archita: And that perspective really invites reflection instead of resistance, which can be such a powerful shift. Yeah.

00:11:52 Speaker 3: Yes. Yes.

00:11:55 Archita: So let's stay with that for a moment. Um, in your years of ministry and counseling, you have likely worked beside many people navigating pain, grief, or deep emotional wounds. So what patterns do you often notice and how trauma affects a person's faith, identity or sense of purpose?

00:12:16 Lashonda Hartdige (Sapphire Sista): Oh, wow. It affects, um, their identity because we believe that we are what we feel. We believe that we are how we feel, right? You have people, um, who believe that they feel like they were placed in the wrong body. Okay. You have people who believe they were born. Although they were born as a male, they believe they should be female. And so they live their life outside of their true identity. And so it's, it's, it's a matter of people being led by how they feel. Right. So people are feeling unworthy. And so they live their life with with regret. They live their life feeling I have no purpose and I'm not. Um, I don't I don't have any value. And so they devalue themselves and they put themselves in positions to be belittled and, and used and abused because of how they feel from the traumas that have taken place and the things that have occurred in their life that have caused them pain or suffering. And so a lot of people, when they don't understand who they are and they're operating from a false sense of identity, then how can I have faith in a God that allowed this to happen, that how can I believe a God that is supposed to be just loving would allow this to happen to me? How can I have faith in that? How can I put my trust in a God that hurt me? That that has confused me, that has made a mistake, right? Because I should not have went through that. I should not be in this particular body. I should not have been exposed to this particular trauma or this ordeal should not have happened to me. You know, they have the a misconception of who they are because they don't know who God is. And it's always been said, even with the, you know, the DNA and the ancestry. When you know who your father is, then you'll know who you are. When you know who your father is. Then you know who you are. We have a lot of people who have are lost in the world because they don't know their father. They don't know their father. So where do I come from? How, how, how is it that I, I move and have these particular characteristics? Where did they come from? Because you don't know your father and you lost. And so that's where a lot of people are, are misconstrued and they miss the mark because their identity is is falsely received because of the traumas that they went through. They're lost because they don't know the God that has that created them and created the universe and has ordered their steps. And so they have a false sense of belief. They, they can't trust, they can't know, they can't believe because everything else is, is based off of falsehood, right? When we have a foundation that is false, that is untrue, then we're stuck in bondage and it's based off of how we feel. And so once we can get out of our emotions, when we can detach from our emotions, then we can have a clear understanding and, and be able to understand the mind of God because God has, I mean, he doesn't operate in our emotions. He can't. We we can't serve him in our emotions. And he's not operating in emotions. He's not. He didn't create us out of these emotions that we know today. So yeah, that's what I believe.

00:16:18 Archita: That is a profound observation that you just shared, that trauma doesn't just affect events in our lives. It can reshape how we see ourselves and even how we relate to God. And, uh, without, without, without faith, without, um, belief in God. I think a person is, um, you know, a person is equal to homeless. They do not know where to go, how to navigate their life. So yeah, I think what you said it, it has resonated with a lot of listeners as well. And it also sounds like healing often begins not with answers, but with reconnection with faith, with community and with hope. And that is really important for, for all of us to know. So Yeah. And, uh, Lashanda, I'd love to ask one final, uh, reflection, especially for listeners who may be going through a difficult season right now. So if someone listening today is carrying deep pain, grief, or trauma and struggling to see any purpose in it, what would you gently want them to remember in this moment?

00:17:34 Lashonda Hartdige (Sapphire Sista): Oh my gosh, that's a good question. Well, I would want I would want someone that is really struggling, um, in the grief, uh, process right now and, and hurt. I would just offer them to. MM. First know that God loves them, that God loves them even in their pain, even in their suffering, God still loves them and that he has a plan for their life and that nothing happened without his knowledge or without his permission. And knowing that that that everything happens for a reason. And if we love the Lord, if we love the Lord, then everything is going to work out for our good because we love the Lord. And that's what we have to remember. It's all about love. It's all about love. Everything that is done, that has been done and that will be done from God is based in his love, right? And so just hold on to the love of God even in your suffering, right? Christ had to hold on to the love of God. Even when he was taking his last breath. He had to hold on to the love of God. And that's what allowed him to be able to go through. And so when we know that God loves us no matter what. Hallelujah. Then we can handle anything, anything, right? And just know that it is all going to work out for your good. Death is going to work out for your good. It may not feel like it. You may not understand it. It may not seem like it, but it shall work out for your good if you love the Lord. If you love the Lord, genuinely love the Lord right through your suffering, through your pain, just hold on to the love of the to the to the love of God. Then I promise you. The word says that this will work out for your good. It's going to benefit you. It's going to bless you. Even when you're suffering, even in death. The Bible says, blessed are they that mourn because they shall be comforted. And people don't realize that when you're grieving a grieving the loss of a loved one, that heaven is being bombarded with your name. Heaven is being bombarded. People are praying for you. God sees you. God knows you're there. He knows that you're struggling. He knows that you're hurting, and he's waiting and willing and able to comfort you and give you a peace that surpasses all understanding. And then you'll be able to endure. You'll be able to wake up in the morning. You'll be able to just make it one more day. So just hold on to the love of God and realize that no matter how you feel, God yet still loves you and he cares. And he's there for you. All you need to do is turn to him. Just turn to him in your pain. Turn to him in your suffering. Turn to him. Call out to him. Call out to him and he will answer. That's what he wants. He wants us to draw closer to him. When we're going through different trials and tribulations. He wants us to draw closer to him when we're hurting. He wants us to call upon him when we're in pain so that he can rescue you, that he can make you feel safe, and that he can comfort you. So just hold on to his unchanging hand. He yet loves you. That's what I would want people to know.

00:21:19 Archita: That was truly heart touching and really wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing that. It is beautiful, truly, and thank you. If there's one insight from today's conversation, it's. This pain may shape our story, but it doesn't define our ending. Healing begins when we allow faith, reflection, and compassion to guide us through it. So for our listeners who resonated with your message and would like to connect with you or learn more about your work, where can they find you?

00:21:56 Lashonda Hartdige (Sapphire Sista): Well, I'm on Facebook. Uh, I am Shonda Hardage on Facebook. I'm also, um, I have my church has a Facebook page. It's called Greater Harvest Community Church. Just look for the black and gold logo. I'm also on YouTube. I have a podcast that goes live on YouTube. Um, and it's called the Sapphire Sista podcast sista with an, a Sapphire sister podcast on YouTube. I go live on Facebook. I go live on Instagram. I'm also live on Spotify and Apple Music so they can look up Sapphire Sister with an. A Sapphire sister with an A and they can find me that way.

00:22:47 Archita: Amazing. So we will make sure all of those details are available in the show notes, so that our listeners can reach out to you and feel less lonely and know their correct path in life and how to deal with grief and loss in the correct way. So thank you for sharing your wisdom and your heart with us today. And to everyone listening, if this conversation spoke to you, take a moment today to sit with it. Healing doesn't always arrive all at once, but every small step towards understanding yourself is meaningful. This is healing horizons. And I am Marketa. Until next time, keep moving toward healing. One on a step at a time.