1 00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:29,385 Hi and welcome back to this week's episode of the Wedding Lounge podcast. 2 00:00:29,385 --> 00:00:37,305 Now this week we decided to have a bit of a debate between the two of us over larger weddings. 3 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:41,225 The birth is more small and intimate weddings that sort of come along since COVID. 4 00:00:41,225 --> 00:00:45,385 Well I think there's lots of different ways you can say a larger or an intimate 5 00:00:45,385 --> 00:00:47,705 wedding and we're not talking about budgets. 6 00:00:47,705 --> 00:00:49,625 No, no, it's like British numbers. 7 00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:56,665 Guest numbers and things like that, like a big wedding with 200-plus people or an intimate wedding. 8 00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:58,265 I'm actually 30. 9 00:00:58,265 --> 00:01:03,625 Before we came on air we have just discussed about you know being a debate we should both take 10 00:01:03,625 --> 00:01:08,905 a clear line, you know. Yeah, proper debate as you would when you were at secondary school. 11 00:01:08,905 --> 00:01:11,705 But then we both said well which side do you want to take? 12 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,865 When I think we both know there's pros and cons to eat them. 13 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:18,425 So it is going to be a debate but not like a formal. 14 00:01:19,385 --> 00:01:22,185 One between Italian and Conclusion. 15 00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:29,465 And I'm going to start and I'm going to say that I had about 100 guests up to 120 in the evening 16 00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:33,225 for my wedding and we've spoken about things we've changed about our wedding. 17 00:01:33,225 --> 00:01:35,545 Would you say that's a large wedding or an intimate wedding? 18 00:01:35,545 --> 00:01:36,265 Interesting. 19 00:01:36,265 --> 00:01:38,745 I would say that that is more on the larger side. 20 00:01:38,745 --> 00:01:40,825 It's not large like average. 21 00:01:40,825 --> 00:01:43,145 Yeah, but I wouldn't call it intimate. 22 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:48,025 No, that's quite a good point actually because like a large wedding is like 200-plus. 23 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,025 Intimate, I'd say it's like 50 or less. 24 00:01:50,025 --> 00:01:51,785 Yes, so there's a lot in the middle. 25 00:01:51,785 --> 00:01:54,665 Yes, I would say that my arm is like sort of average. 26 00:01:54,665 --> 00:01:56,105 Average to on the large size. 27 00:01:56,105 --> 00:02:00,105 Yeah, we've got a couple of clients 150 this year or like 70 so it's kind of in the middle. 28 00:02:00,105 --> 00:02:00,585 Yeah. 29 00:02:00,585 --> 00:02:05,625 I actually now having been in the wedding industry feel like, 30 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,985 "Bosh, what could I have done with my budget if I had less people to feed? 31 00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:11,865 If I had less hungry to hire less things?" 32 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:15,945 And actually I do see the benefit of having smaller number of people 33 00:02:15,945 --> 00:02:18,585 are making it a much more elevated guest experience. 34 00:02:18,585 --> 00:02:20,425 Now there's lots that comes with a smaller wedding. 35 00:02:20,425 --> 00:02:21,385 Mm-hmm. 36 00:02:21,385 --> 00:02:24,425 How do you reduce your guest list down if you've got big families and things? 37 00:02:24,425 --> 00:02:29,625 But I just, I've come around to the way of thinking that actually having, 38 00:02:29,625 --> 00:02:34,185 I'd love to have a client with a smaller wedding where we've got a really high spend per guest. 39 00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:36,425 Did you help me on that one I did for 15 people? 40 00:02:36,425 --> 00:02:37,305 No, I didn't. 41 00:02:37,305 --> 00:02:38,345 Because it needed my help. 42 00:02:38,345 --> 00:02:40,585 No, yeah, I didn't need help on that one. 43 00:02:40,585 --> 00:02:42,505 So you've done that really intimate wedding. 44 00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:46,265 Yeah, which was really lovely and it wasn't a small budget. 45 00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,145 No, it was not at all. 46 00:02:47,145 --> 00:02:49,785 I mean, it was still less than they would have spent 47 00:02:49,785 --> 00:02:52,985 had they've had a big, well it's less than she's spent from her 40th. 48 00:02:52,985 --> 00:02:53,465 Yes. 49 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:56,185 Where she had 70 to 90 people. 50 00:02:56,185 --> 00:02:56,905 Yeah. 51 00:02:56,905 --> 00:02:59,545 I think the hard thing and the biggest hard thing is 52 00:02:59,545 --> 00:03:00,505 narrowing your guest down. 53 00:03:00,505 --> 00:03:02,905 Like where would you draw the line? 54 00:03:02,905 --> 00:03:03,385 Yeah. 55 00:03:03,385 --> 00:03:08,985 Like who, you know, and we spoke on our last episode about marriage preparation 56 00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:10,985 and the fact that the people and your guests that are there 57 00:03:10,985 --> 00:03:12,585 are the ones that are there to support you. 58 00:03:12,585 --> 00:03:17,145 So it's kind of sharing that day and that time 59 00:03:17,145 --> 00:03:21,705 with more people is you basically inviting more people into your marriage almost. 60 00:03:21,705 --> 00:03:22,585 Yeah, I think. 61 00:03:22,585 --> 00:03:24,985 What about having an intimate wedding? 62 00:03:24,985 --> 00:03:25,785 Then a big party. 63 00:03:25,785 --> 00:03:27,945 Like for your first anniversary or something. 64 00:03:27,945 --> 00:03:28,745 Well, there's a few that. 65 00:03:28,745 --> 00:03:30,665 And even like a few weeks. 66 00:03:30,665 --> 00:03:32,185 Yeah, that was a really popular thing. 67 00:03:32,185 --> 00:03:33,705 That's when the moment weddings really came. 68 00:03:33,705 --> 00:03:35,785 Then no one had the parties. 69 00:03:35,785 --> 00:03:36,425 No. 70 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,345 So it was kind of like the... 71 00:03:38,345 --> 00:03:39,305 Would you bother? 72 00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:40,105 Would you bother? 73 00:03:40,105 --> 00:03:41,065 Like what... 74 00:03:41,065 --> 00:03:45,305 And I guess it comes down to like the purpose of the wedding. 75 00:03:45,305 --> 00:03:48,665 Was at that point for people to be able to get married. 76 00:03:48,665 --> 00:03:49,145 Yeah. 77 00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:51,785 Whereas this is kind of more discussing about the party and things. 78 00:03:51,785 --> 00:03:53,545 And yeah, I think that's a great way to do it. 79 00:03:53,545 --> 00:03:55,625 And, you know, having a smaller intimate day. 80 00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:57,145 And I guess with those couples 81 00:03:57,145 --> 00:03:59,865 or they don't want all the attention on them. 82 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:00,105 Yeah. 83 00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:01,785 Or having a destination wedding. 84 00:04:01,785 --> 00:04:03,785 Like my cousin, she's literally just having 85 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,665 her siblings and like that siblings 86 00:04:06,665 --> 00:04:08,105 at the wedding and like parents. 87 00:04:08,105 --> 00:04:11,385 You know, we're not going at all to a destination wedding. 88 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,985 But then I think she'll have a sing. 89 00:04:12,985 --> 00:04:14,425 And not having a program. 90 00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:16,985 She's having a party when she comes back. 91 00:04:16,985 --> 00:04:17,625 I think. 92 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:18,825 Well, that's been told yet. 93 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,425 I'm happy to ask you. 94 00:04:20,425 --> 00:04:21,145 Thank you. 95 00:04:21,145 --> 00:04:22,265 Next yes. 96 00:04:22,265 --> 00:04:23,465 But there were definitely benefits. 97 00:04:23,465 --> 00:04:25,385 You know, we've spoken about primings. 98 00:04:25,385 --> 00:04:26,905 Having time to speak to guests. 99 00:04:26,905 --> 00:04:30,185 You know, having a more of a weekend wedding. 100 00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:32,105 So you get a chance to talk to your guests. 101 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,625 If you haven't got 30 of you, 102 00:04:33,625 --> 00:04:36,585 you can have that really intimate experience. 103 00:04:36,585 --> 00:04:37,785 Yeah. 104 00:04:37,785 --> 00:04:39,305 You know, if we're saying 30s intimate. 105 00:04:39,305 --> 00:04:41,465 Yeah, I think it's a celebration, isn't it? 106 00:04:41,465 --> 00:04:45,465 And it's it's how large you want to shout that celebration out. 107 00:04:45,465 --> 00:04:47,945 It's what I kind of feel. 108 00:04:47,945 --> 00:04:51,545 And I mean, there was a huge impact on your budget. 109 00:04:51,545 --> 00:04:52,105 Yes. 110 00:04:52,105 --> 00:04:54,345 Having larger numbers. 111 00:04:54,345 --> 00:04:56,265 But it comes down to that. 112 00:04:56,265 --> 00:04:58,505 Where do you place the importance? 113 00:04:58,505 --> 00:05:00,985 Is it on having all your friends in your family bear? 114 00:05:00,985 --> 00:05:03,865 And celebrating that in which case you go with the hog roast 115 00:05:03,865 --> 00:05:04,985 and something really basic? 116 00:05:04,985 --> 00:05:05,865 Yeah. 117 00:05:05,865 --> 00:05:09,545 But then all your friends and family are there or you spend that. 118 00:05:09,545 --> 00:05:12,585 You know, if we're talking about a £30,000 budget, 119 00:05:12,585 --> 00:05:15,785 which I think now is probably just below the average. 120 00:05:15,785 --> 00:05:16,585 Yeah. 121 00:05:16,585 --> 00:05:19,305 What that would get you for 20 guests? 122 00:05:19,305 --> 00:05:20,265 As opposed to 100. 123 00:05:20,265 --> 00:05:23,385 I've granted a head as opposed to 200 guests. 124 00:05:23,385 --> 00:05:23,705 Yeah. 125 00:05:23,705 --> 00:05:25,625 Which is where the mask is going to be really bad. 126 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:26,425 Yeah. 127 00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:27,705 £150 a head. 128 00:05:27,705 --> 00:05:28,585 Yes, £5,000. 129 00:05:28,585 --> 00:05:29,865 £250,000. 130 00:05:29,865 --> 00:05:30,905 Put that cover, you know, 131 00:05:30,905 --> 00:05:32,345 if you're sitting down having a three-course meal, 132 00:05:32,345 --> 00:05:34,025 that's the cost of a three-course meal. 133 00:05:34,025 --> 00:05:34,505 Yeah. 134 00:05:34,505 --> 00:05:35,465 And that's it. 135 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:36,265 No venue. 136 00:05:36,265 --> 00:05:36,985 No venue. 137 00:05:36,985 --> 00:05:41,385 No gym, no gym, no gym, no gym, no gym, no nothing like that. 138 00:05:41,385 --> 00:05:42,345 That's one of the differences. 139 00:05:42,345 --> 00:05:43,625 But if you want to have those people, 140 00:05:43,625 --> 00:05:44,905 then you spend less on your food. 141 00:05:44,905 --> 00:05:45,705 And you go for £30,000. 142 00:05:45,705 --> 00:05:46,505 And you go for the casual. 143 00:05:46,505 --> 00:05:47,705 You go for the really casual thing. 144 00:05:47,705 --> 00:05:48,905 Casual food. 145 00:05:48,905 --> 00:05:49,705 I just... 146 00:05:49,705 --> 00:05:51,625 It's being surrounded by all those loved ones. 147 00:05:51,625 --> 00:05:52,905 And you know, like, 148 00:05:52,905 --> 00:05:55,145 Chris and I are party. 149 00:05:55,145 --> 00:05:56,025 Have those. 150 00:05:56,025 --> 00:05:56,265 Yes. 151 00:05:56,265 --> 00:05:57,465 Party have us. 152 00:05:57,465 --> 00:05:59,305 We're party have us not party goers. 153 00:05:59,305 --> 00:06:00,825 We've got lots of friends that are party goers 154 00:06:00,825 --> 00:06:02,345 and not party have us. 155 00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:04,425 But we just want everyone 156 00:06:04,425 --> 00:06:05,625 all in one space. 157 00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:08,345 All the people we love to share that with. 158 00:06:08,345 --> 00:06:12,105 And that for us is what makes an occasion. 159 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,065 And I think for lots of people that consider a larger wedding, 160 00:06:15,065 --> 00:06:16,105 that is what it is. 161 00:06:16,105 --> 00:06:18,985 So I guess if you're unsure what you want to do, 162 00:06:18,985 --> 00:06:21,945 then that's how you kind of got to think about it. 163 00:06:21,945 --> 00:06:24,665 Is do you want all those people there to celebrate with you? 164 00:06:24,665 --> 00:06:27,065 Or are you not fussed about that? 165 00:06:27,065 --> 00:06:28,105 And we'd rather and more. 166 00:06:28,105 --> 00:06:29,945 Well, the tricky one, isn't it? 167 00:06:29,945 --> 00:06:31,625 It does come down to the people on the budget. 168 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,785 But ideally, you have the guest experience 169 00:06:33,785 --> 00:06:36,185 of an intimate wedding for your 150. 170 00:06:36,185 --> 00:06:37,145 Yeah, for your 100. 171 00:06:37,145 --> 00:06:38,585 Yeah, 5 grand ahead first. 172 00:06:38,585 --> 00:06:39,705 Yeah, exactly. 173 00:06:39,705 --> 00:06:40,825 Exactly. 174 00:06:40,825 --> 00:06:44,665 But I think why I'm so interested in intimate weddings 175 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:47,465 is because I'm not planned one before for a client. 176 00:06:47,465 --> 00:06:49,785 I just, in my head, 177 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:52,265 I'm picturing like, logistically, 178 00:06:52,265 --> 00:06:54,505 you can just do a bit more when you've got less people. 179 00:06:54,505 --> 00:06:56,265 You know, like, I think moves quicker. 180 00:06:56,265 --> 00:06:58,745 Like, under a pergolaer, like, in someone's garden, 181 00:06:58,745 --> 00:07:01,545 instead of having to, like, find a venue in a marquee 182 00:07:01,545 --> 00:07:04,825 or, you know, in, like, more intimate location 183 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:08,745 and just do something more unique. 184 00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:09,625 Yes, yeah. 185 00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:12,185 I feel like when you've got less people, 186 00:07:12,185 --> 00:07:13,225 you don't need the biggest space. 187 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:15,065 You can be a bit more creative, maybe. 188 00:07:15,065 --> 00:07:15,865 Yeah. 189 00:07:15,865 --> 00:07:16,745 With a smaller budget. 190 00:07:16,745 --> 00:07:20,425 Obviously, if you've got a limited budget and 150, 200 guests, 191 00:07:20,425 --> 00:07:22,585 the world is, you know, you can still be. 192 00:07:22,585 --> 00:07:25,065 But you're still limited on where you can host 193 00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:27,385 that many people, like, unless you've got the space at home. 194 00:07:27,385 --> 00:07:29,865 But that's, you know, most people that married at home 195 00:07:29,865 --> 00:07:32,185 know they're going to get married at home from the age of about five. 196 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:32,665 Yeah. 197 00:07:32,665 --> 00:07:35,065 With a very different thing, like, you still got to source 198 00:07:35,065 --> 00:07:37,225 the venue and the space. 199 00:07:37,225 --> 00:07:37,705 Yeah. 200 00:07:37,705 --> 00:07:39,945 In order to host that many people. 201 00:07:39,945 --> 00:07:40,505 Yeah. 202 00:07:40,505 --> 00:07:42,505 Regardless of the numbers. 203 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:43,385 Yeah, I don't know why. 204 00:07:43,385 --> 00:07:46,105 In my head, I pitch intimate, like, winter. 205 00:07:46,105 --> 00:07:46,985 And I don't know. 206 00:07:46,985 --> 00:07:47,705 It's really funny. 207 00:07:47,705 --> 00:07:49,145 Yeah, and cozy. 208 00:07:49,145 --> 00:07:52,025 And just, it's not someone under a pergola having a nice bit. 209 00:07:52,025 --> 00:07:53,065 No, like, before they left. 210 00:07:53,065 --> 00:07:54,585 Yeah, well, or like, in the summer. 211 00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:55,065 I don't know. 212 00:07:55,065 --> 00:07:58,105 I just think of more, like, intimate occasions, I guess. 213 00:07:58,105 --> 00:08:01,465 But I think it comes down to the people and your budget. 214 00:08:01,465 --> 00:08:03,865 And what you guys like, like, some people, as you say, 215 00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:05,625 don't want to be sent to tension. 216 00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:07,945 Some people may come from a huge family. 217 00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,425 And there's just so many politics involved with that 218 00:08:10,425 --> 00:08:15,145 that are easier to go, no, like, I'm stick to a set amount. 219 00:08:15,145 --> 00:08:15,465 Yeah. 220 00:08:15,465 --> 00:08:20,105 So, yeah, you, you know, it might be easier with family politics 221 00:08:20,105 --> 00:08:22,825 to do smaller number of deaths. 222 00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:23,945 And then cut out everyone else. 223 00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:25,785 It just, it depends. 224 00:08:25,785 --> 00:08:28,505 It depends on your family situation and your friend. 225 00:08:28,505 --> 00:08:32,345 And on that, though, if you family want to invite people. 226 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,145 Yeah. 227 00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:34,665 Like, that is going to limit you as well. 228 00:08:34,665 --> 00:08:36,825 Especially if you've got parents at pain. 229 00:08:36,825 --> 00:08:37,305 Yeah. 230 00:08:37,305 --> 00:08:39,225 And they want to invite a certain number of people, 231 00:08:39,225 --> 00:08:42,025 which are ticket less so now. 232 00:08:42,025 --> 00:08:42,505 Yeah. 233 00:08:42,505 --> 00:08:43,385 than before. 234 00:08:43,385 --> 00:08:45,385 But that's an etiquette thing. 235 00:08:45,385 --> 00:08:48,025 So, if you've got your mum wants to bring 30 people. 236 00:08:48,025 --> 00:08:49,945 Yeah, I want to have a 50 person wedding that. 237 00:08:49,945 --> 00:08:53,945 And you leave your eyes with realistically actually 10 couples. 238 00:08:53,945 --> 00:08:54,265 Yeah. 239 00:08:54,265 --> 00:08:56,345 Because most people are in couples now aren't they? 240 00:08:56,345 --> 00:09:01,065 Like, it does become quite tricky to set those limits. 241 00:09:01,065 --> 00:09:01,625 Yeah. 242 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:05,225 I think with an intimate wedding, you've really got to be sure 243 00:09:05,225 --> 00:09:05,865 in your guest list. 244 00:09:05,865 --> 00:09:08,505 Because you want to make sure that those people who are there, 245 00:09:08,505 --> 00:09:09,945 probably people you really want there. 246 00:09:09,945 --> 00:09:10,265 Yeah. 247 00:09:10,265 --> 00:09:13,385 And my dad's got invited to a lunch recently for a friend's 248 00:09:13,385 --> 00:09:15,865 officially year working for British Airways party. 249 00:09:15,865 --> 00:09:17,385 Well, there was six of them. 250 00:09:17,385 --> 00:09:18,985 And there was no other halves. 251 00:09:18,985 --> 00:09:21,065 So, it was like a lunch they hired a chef in. 252 00:09:21,065 --> 00:09:22,505 And I thought that's a bit weird. 253 00:09:22,505 --> 00:09:24,665 Like, there's really six of them when you just make it 12. 254 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,785 But it was no other halves. 255 00:09:25,785 --> 00:09:29,225 Although, like, my stepmom's known for years as well. 256 00:09:29,225 --> 00:09:33,225 So, going intimate with your guest numbers. 257 00:09:33,225 --> 00:09:35,305 It's really got to be careful about plus ones and things. 258 00:09:35,305 --> 00:09:36,905 Because as you say, everyone is couples. 259 00:09:36,905 --> 00:09:38,745 So, that's not just one person, it's two people. 260 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,825 I mean, we had 250 people at our wedding. 261 00:09:40,825 --> 00:09:41,065 Yeah. 262 00:09:41,065 --> 00:09:42,905 We still had a no-ring, no-bring policy. 263 00:09:42,905 --> 00:09:43,385 Yeah. 264 00:09:43,385 --> 00:09:45,145 And that's something I say to my couples as well. 265 00:09:45,145 --> 00:09:47,305 Like, if you're struggling to get your guest members right, 266 00:09:47,305 --> 00:09:48,905 have a no-ring, no-bring policy. 267 00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:49,145 Yeah. 268 00:09:49,145 --> 00:09:50,905 Unless you'd invite them individually. 269 00:09:50,905 --> 00:09:51,465 Yeah. 270 00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:51,945 Yeah. 271 00:09:51,945 --> 00:09:55,065 If they're not engaged, don't feel you need to invite 272 00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,945 your best friend's girlfriend, especially if you'd never met her. 273 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:58,265 Yes. 274 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:58,585 Yeah. 275 00:09:58,585 --> 00:10:03,145 I think we had more of a, if we'd met them, then they could. 276 00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,865 I think it should be a thought process if you'd had them around for dinner. 277 00:10:05,865 --> 00:10:06,185 Yeah. 278 00:10:06,185 --> 00:10:07,945 Have you seen them in the past year? 279 00:10:07,945 --> 00:10:09,865 Those are the kind of questions you should be asking. 280 00:10:09,865 --> 00:10:11,625 If you're limited on numbers. 281 00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:11,945 Yeah. 282 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,145 Yes, on that one. 283 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,225 And then, like, it's to work, colleagues and things like that. 284 00:10:15,225 --> 00:10:17,225 You can interpret it and get probably cut out. 285 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:17,625 Yeah. 286 00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:18,025 All of them. 287 00:10:18,025 --> 00:10:18,585 mates. 288 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:18,985 Yeah. 289 00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:20,265 And have, like, your friends. 290 00:10:20,265 --> 00:10:23,545 The one that you assisted me on last year, where we had in September, 291 00:10:23,545 --> 00:10:28,665 they had 120, 130 to the day, and then they had 250 or so to the evening. 292 00:10:28,665 --> 00:10:29,145 Yes. 293 00:10:29,145 --> 00:10:30,185 That works quite nicely. 294 00:10:30,185 --> 00:10:30,505 Yeah. 295 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,745 Because your budget per head for an evening gets 296 00:10:32,745 --> 00:10:35,545 as much, much lower than it is the daytime dress. 297 00:10:35,545 --> 00:10:38,105 So, if you want to have the big party. 298 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:38,825 Yeah. 299 00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:39,945 You want to have an intimate wedding. 300 00:10:39,945 --> 00:10:43,225 That's quite a nice way to go about it, rather than splitting it over a year, 301 00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:45,625 and then not necessarily having the party. 302 00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:49,065 Yeah, you could do small, you could even get as far as doing small 303 00:10:49,865 --> 00:10:51,705 ceremony, small dinner, and then party. 304 00:10:51,705 --> 00:10:56,745 I think they even wanted, I mean, the bride definitely wanted less to her ceremony. 305 00:10:56,745 --> 00:10:59,945 It just wasn't, they couldn't reduce the numbers down any further. 306 00:10:59,945 --> 00:11:01,385 And it's one of those things, isn't it? 307 00:11:01,385 --> 00:11:03,785 Like, that's how you need to sort of look at it, 308 00:11:03,785 --> 00:11:06,345 is you either go really, really small while everyone. 309 00:11:06,345 --> 00:11:07,145 Yes. 310 00:11:07,145 --> 00:11:08,825 Or you go big, go home. 311 00:11:08,825 --> 00:11:09,945 Yeah. 312 00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:14,825 How come just going back to your really small wedding of 15 people last year? 313 00:11:14,825 --> 00:11:18,025 How come your couple decided to go for a really small number? 314 00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:21,065 Considering she had, she had a much larger 40. 315 00:11:21,065 --> 00:11:23,385 We already had the large 40, yeah. 316 00:11:23,385 --> 00:11:25,145 She felt like she'd done that. 317 00:11:25,145 --> 00:11:26,985 Yes, she didn't need a big party. 318 00:11:26,985 --> 00:11:30,185 She'd had the big party wherever everyone was there to celebrate her. 319 00:11:30,185 --> 00:11:30,505 Yeah. 320 00:11:30,505 --> 00:11:33,945 And I don't think she felt she necessarily needed to do that again. 321 00:11:33,945 --> 00:11:34,745 Was that her husband? 322 00:11:34,745 --> 00:11:36,105 Was he at the 40th? 323 00:11:36,105 --> 00:11:37,545 No, they went together with that. 324 00:11:37,545 --> 00:11:37,945 Yeah. 325 00:11:37,945 --> 00:11:40,345 But he second married for him, right? 326 00:11:40,345 --> 00:11:43,145 So again, I think that had a big impact. 327 00:11:43,145 --> 00:11:45,785 They wanted to hire a house the weekend with just their family. 328 00:11:45,785 --> 00:11:47,785 It was literally their immediate family. 329 00:11:47,785 --> 00:11:50,345 So her parents, his parents, siblings. 330 00:11:50,345 --> 00:11:51,545 Yeah, that was it. 331 00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,225 That was all there was. 332 00:11:53,225 --> 00:11:54,905 Which was, and it was really lovely. 333 00:11:54,905 --> 00:11:56,105 But it was totally different. 334 00:11:56,105 --> 00:11:57,705 Asian, they sat down, they had dinner. 335 00:11:57,705 --> 00:11:59,465 There was no dancing, there was no... 336 00:11:59,465 --> 00:12:00,505 It was a beautiful meal. 337 00:12:00,505 --> 00:12:01,785 It was a beautiful meal. 338 00:12:01,785 --> 00:12:03,465 It wasn't a party. 339 00:12:03,465 --> 00:12:06,265 So I guess you need to think if you want to go into that. 340 00:12:06,265 --> 00:12:08,105 What's that celebration? 341 00:12:08,105 --> 00:12:09,945 Yeah, do you still want the dance afterwards? 342 00:12:09,945 --> 00:12:13,465 Do you still want to be the one that had 30 guests? 343 00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:14,185 Yeah. 344 00:12:14,185 --> 00:12:15,465 Dance in the evenings. 345 00:12:15,465 --> 00:12:16,505 From the evening. 346 00:12:16,505 --> 00:12:17,705 The atmosphere wasn't there. 347 00:12:17,705 --> 00:12:18,025 Yeah. 348 00:12:18,025 --> 00:12:20,585 It was just a bit, we just felt a bit flat. 349 00:12:20,585 --> 00:12:21,065 Yeah. 350 00:12:21,065 --> 00:12:23,065 I think if your focus is very much on a meal 351 00:12:23,065 --> 00:12:26,185 in a celebration over a meal, it works. 352 00:12:26,185 --> 00:12:26,505 Yeah. 353 00:12:26,505 --> 00:12:30,105 What I think an intimate wedding in a traditional 354 00:12:30,105 --> 00:12:32,345 how we know a wedding set up with, you know, 355 00:12:32,345 --> 00:12:33,705 the wedding and the wedding breakfast 356 00:12:33,705 --> 00:12:36,185 and the dancing and the evening and the first dance and stuff. 357 00:12:36,185 --> 00:12:37,305 It's a bit odd. 358 00:12:37,305 --> 00:12:39,225 It's long if you've got small numbers there. 359 00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:40,985 Yeah, because you don't need that drinks reception. 360 00:12:40,985 --> 00:12:42,585 And then the dinner and then... 361 00:12:42,585 --> 00:12:43,545 No. 362 00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:44,025 Evening. 363 00:12:44,025 --> 00:12:44,745 That's really true. 364 00:12:44,745 --> 00:12:45,945 Actually, that's a really good point. 365 00:12:45,945 --> 00:12:48,345 To think about is, if you want small and guest numbers, 366 00:12:48,345 --> 00:12:51,465 do you want to do the whole spread of a wedding day? 367 00:12:51,465 --> 00:12:51,945 Yeah. 368 00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:55,705 Just make him of a ceremony and meal celebration. 369 00:12:55,705 --> 00:12:58,265 I mean, my mum used to say that when she went to weddings 370 00:12:58,265 --> 00:12:59,625 and she was sort of our age, 371 00:12:59,625 --> 00:13:00,585 probably a bit younger than us. 372 00:13:00,585 --> 00:13:02,905 It was traditional to obviously have a ceremony 373 00:13:02,905 --> 00:13:04,745 and then almost not even a lunch sometimes, 374 00:13:04,745 --> 00:13:05,945 just like a drinks reception. 375 00:13:05,945 --> 00:13:06,745 And then that was it. 376 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:09,625 Yeah, it would be the end of my in laws how to say had that. 377 00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:11,145 And then they went off. 378 00:13:11,145 --> 00:13:12,825 And they decided to surprise. 379 00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:14,985 I think it was his parents 380 00:13:14,985 --> 00:13:17,465 going out for dinner or something in the evening of their wedding 381 00:13:17,465 --> 00:13:19,705 and they were having their own blooming parties. 382 00:13:19,705 --> 00:13:20,665 No. 383 00:13:20,665 --> 00:13:23,225 Invited it to the party after our own wedding. 384 00:13:23,225 --> 00:13:23,865 I love it. 385 00:13:23,865 --> 00:13:25,945 He just had drinks reception afterwards. 386 00:13:25,945 --> 00:13:26,905 And it was a wedding. 387 00:13:26,905 --> 00:13:29,865 I mean, we were guests, but we went to up in Scotland 388 00:13:29,865 --> 00:13:32,665 where he had quite a lot of people. 389 00:13:32,665 --> 00:13:35,465 He was the father of the bride needed to invite. 390 00:13:35,465 --> 00:13:35,785 Yeah. 391 00:13:35,785 --> 00:13:37,545 So they did it a very traditional way 392 00:13:37,545 --> 00:13:38,745 and then all those guests. 393 00:13:38,745 --> 00:13:41,145 So they all came to the wedding ceremony. 394 00:13:41,145 --> 00:13:42,105 The drinks reception. 395 00:13:42,105 --> 00:13:43,785 There was a speech at the drinks reception. 396 00:13:43,785 --> 00:13:45,065 And they all left. 397 00:13:45,065 --> 00:13:48,905 And there was 120 of us at the stage for the meal and the evening. 398 00:13:48,905 --> 00:13:49,305 Yeah. 399 00:13:49,305 --> 00:13:52,265 So they kind of did it the other way around where, you know, 400 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,345 all these people, the rillity and things like that. 401 00:13:54,345 --> 00:13:57,145 Yeah, they had to invite, came and did that bit. 402 00:13:57,145 --> 00:13:58,425 It's the same with the royal wedding. 403 00:13:58,425 --> 00:14:00,265 Yes, the size of a royal wedding. 404 00:14:00,265 --> 00:14:02,745 Not all those people go and celebrate the rest of the evening 405 00:14:02,745 --> 00:14:03,305 afternoon. 406 00:14:03,305 --> 00:14:05,705 That's just that's the formalities. 407 00:14:05,705 --> 00:14:06,185 Yes. 408 00:14:06,185 --> 00:14:08,265 Yeah, the wedding isn't actually a party. 409 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:09,945 Like we treat it nowadays. 410 00:14:09,945 --> 00:14:12,745 They do an intimate one and do something. 411 00:14:13,465 --> 00:14:16,265 Like the formal dinner or the drinks reception. 412 00:14:16,265 --> 00:14:16,585 Yeah. 413 00:14:16,585 --> 00:14:18,585 I think, yeah, that's a really key point to think about 414 00:14:18,585 --> 00:14:20,425 not necessarily having smaller guest numbers 415 00:14:20,425 --> 00:14:21,945 and then trying to get that party out this evening. 416 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,705 Yeah, it just wouldn't work, I don't think. 417 00:14:23,705 --> 00:14:26,505 So I think if you want to have an intimate wedding, 418 00:14:26,505 --> 00:14:27,465 you can't have an intimate, 419 00:14:27,465 --> 00:14:29,705 well, it just doesn't work. 420 00:14:29,705 --> 00:14:31,305 It's like when you have a dinner party around your house 421 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,105 and you have 10 people. 422 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:32,905 Yeah. 423 00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,265 Then go up and dance that. 424 00:14:34,265 --> 00:14:34,985 I don't know. 425 00:14:34,985 --> 00:14:35,705 I don't know. 426 00:14:35,705 --> 00:14:37,305 Well, it's 20. 427 00:14:37,305 --> 00:14:38,825 They are and how much we had to create. 428 00:14:38,825 --> 00:14:40,185 Games, yeah, a new... 429 00:14:40,185 --> 00:14:41,945 Yeah, it's a different shine for the evening. 430 00:14:41,945 --> 00:14:43,225 Yeah, it's a different feel. 431 00:14:43,225 --> 00:14:44,425 Yeah, it is. 432 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,945 And you've got to guess, think, 433 00:14:45,945 --> 00:14:47,305 not just about who you want to invite, 434 00:14:47,305 --> 00:14:49,065 but vibe and the feel of your wedding. 435 00:14:49,065 --> 00:14:50,905 Do you want party party 436 00:14:50,905 --> 00:14:53,785 or do you want like an intimate sort of evening experience? 437 00:14:53,785 --> 00:14:54,985 To party, then. 438 00:14:54,985 --> 00:14:56,665 Really? 439 00:14:56,665 --> 00:14:57,705 I mean... 440 00:14:57,705 --> 00:14:59,785 As in, like, I don't... 441 00:14:59,785 --> 00:15:01,305 Like, I wanted to party. 442 00:15:01,305 --> 00:15:02,265 Yeah, I don't know. 443 00:15:02,265 --> 00:15:04,425 I want different attentionals. 444 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:07,465 But just maybe now, I don't think I'd stay up that late. 445 00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:08,265 I'd be like... 446 00:15:08,265 --> 00:15:09,305 In bed by nine o'clock. 447 00:15:09,305 --> 00:15:09,785 Yeah. 448 00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:11,865 Yeah, I think I'd be in bed by nine o'clock, too. 449 00:15:11,865 --> 00:15:13,305 There is just... 450 00:15:13,305 --> 00:15:15,145 Just thinking about what you want, really. 451 00:15:15,145 --> 00:15:17,625 It doesn't really turn into much of a debate, has it? 452 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,065 No, it has a conversation. 453 00:15:19,065 --> 00:15:22,905 Basically, intimate weddings are a certain type of person 454 00:15:22,905 --> 00:15:25,225 and a big wedding is for a certain type of person. 455 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:26,425 Yeah, I think it's just... 456 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,465 You're not disagreeing. 457 00:15:27,465 --> 00:15:34,025 Or, I don't think I could go back and have an intimate wedding. 458 00:15:34,025 --> 00:15:36,345 I don't think I could not... 459 00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:38,185 I don't think that's a celebration. 460 00:15:38,185 --> 00:15:38,905 Yeah. 461 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,745 That, like, we have everyone there. 462 00:15:40,745 --> 00:15:43,385 And, yes, as my dad rightly pointed out to me, 463 00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:47,065 I had one minute and 23 seconds on my wedding day 464 00:15:47,065 --> 00:15:49,225 to talk to every guest that was there. 465 00:15:49,225 --> 00:15:52,185 That was it, and that would be a whole evening spent. 466 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,385 It's still... 467 00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:57,465 I mean, actually, I could probably call about 50 people from this. 468 00:15:57,465 --> 00:15:58,185 I'm not going to lie. 469 00:15:58,185 --> 00:15:59,625 I mean, I'd have very different people. 470 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,305 Yeah, but that's not... 471 00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:02,105 Yeah, that's life. 472 00:16:02,105 --> 00:16:03,945 That's what you spoke about that before. 473 00:16:03,945 --> 00:16:06,345 Yeah, I don't know who I'd invite if I had an intimate one, actually. 474 00:16:06,345 --> 00:16:07,945 To be honest, it's... 475 00:16:08,745 --> 00:16:10,905 You've got to be a bit more picky with your guest this time, don't you? 476 00:16:10,905 --> 00:16:12,665 This has six good parents. 477 00:16:12,665 --> 00:16:13,705 Last 12 people... 478 00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:14,425 Well, yeah. 479 00:16:14,425 --> 00:16:16,585 We've even started plus his parents, plus his brother. 480 00:16:16,585 --> 00:16:17,545 13 Ashes. 481 00:16:17,545 --> 00:16:18,665 Yeah, 13 Ashes. 482 00:16:18,665 --> 00:16:22,105 I think you might be able to have an intimate one if you weren't my encryptment. 483 00:16:22,105 --> 00:16:23,545 No, no, no, no, no, yeah, maybe. 484 00:16:23,545 --> 00:16:24,345 But I don't know. 485 00:16:24,345 --> 00:16:25,945 I don't know. 486 00:16:25,945 --> 00:16:26,745 I just think it... 487 00:16:26,745 --> 00:16:30,585 It's a celebration that you want to share with the people 488 00:16:30,585 --> 00:16:33,145 that you want to support you in your married life. 489 00:16:33,145 --> 00:16:34,585 Yeah, whether that's a small number. 490 00:16:34,585 --> 00:16:35,625 And that's a large number. 491 00:16:36,425 --> 00:16:41,385 That for me, if you reduce that down, you're reducing down your village to support you. 492 00:16:41,385 --> 00:16:41,705 Yeah. 493 00:16:41,705 --> 00:16:43,625 That's my closing argument. 494 00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:45,225 That's your closing argument. 495 00:16:45,225 --> 00:16:46,825 And I can see the cog's timing. 496 00:16:46,825 --> 00:16:48,665 I know, I actually would agree with that. 497 00:16:48,665 --> 00:16:52,105 Actually thinking who, from my wedding, 498 00:16:52,105 --> 00:16:53,785 I think I was my village. 499 00:16:53,785 --> 00:16:56,985 And who was there because I had to be kind of thin. 500 00:16:56,985 --> 00:16:57,785 As in life. 501 00:16:57,785 --> 00:16:58,985 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 502 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,145 You know, we really had a bunch of 20 guests. 503 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,025 A lot of family. 504 00:17:02,025 --> 00:17:04,425 Which are there, aren't there? 505 00:17:04,425 --> 00:17:05,065 Right. 506 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,025 Yeah, interesting. 507 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,345 But then I'm thinking of guestless and going intimate. 508 00:17:08,345 --> 00:17:10,025 Savannah's first birthday party. 509 00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:11,065 We had 80 guests. 510 00:17:11,065 --> 00:17:12,185 Oh my god. 511 00:17:12,185 --> 00:17:15,865 There's me saying I can have an intimate wedding. 512 00:17:15,865 --> 00:17:17,705 I could even do an intimate first birthday. 513 00:17:17,705 --> 00:17:20,345 It was closed COVID, it was 2021. 514 00:17:20,345 --> 00:17:21,785 I'd not had that baby shower. 515 00:17:21,785 --> 00:17:23,385 Not seen people during my pregnancy. 516 00:17:23,385 --> 00:17:25,465 Not really seen them in the last year that much. 517 00:17:25,465 --> 00:17:27,945 You know, because it was so COVID, you know, restriction. 518 00:17:27,945 --> 00:17:28,505 So COVID. 519 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:29,385 They gave it. 520 00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:30,505 That should be like a spray. 521 00:17:30,505 --> 00:17:32,265 That's so cold. 522 00:17:32,265 --> 00:17:34,585 Why do you miss rains? 523 00:17:34,585 --> 00:17:36,025 It's like so, it's not big. 524 00:17:36,025 --> 00:17:38,185 Great impulse to show. 525 00:17:38,185 --> 00:17:39,625 Yeah, yeah, yeah, so COVID. 526 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:40,505 I haven't shown our age. 527 00:17:40,505 --> 00:17:42,025 So, yeah, yeah. 528 00:17:42,025 --> 00:17:43,865 So I ended up just having everyone. 529 00:17:43,865 --> 00:17:45,865 We had like tin bar, whole grossed 80 people. 530 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:46,745 Is that any individual? 531 00:17:46,745 --> 00:17:48,665 But that's more of a party for you guys. 532 00:17:48,665 --> 00:17:49,305 Yeah, it was. 533 00:17:49,305 --> 00:17:50,505 Yeah, for her. 534 00:17:50,505 --> 00:17:50,985 So yeah. 535 00:17:50,985 --> 00:17:52,345 And then again, Xavier's christening. 536 00:17:52,345 --> 00:17:53,145 He had a big christening. 537 00:17:53,145 --> 00:17:54,585 Savannah's a COVID christening. 538 00:17:54,585 --> 00:17:56,105 We only had that actually for that. 539 00:17:56,105 --> 00:17:58,585 We had a big christening of like 75 people. 540 00:17:58,585 --> 00:17:59,945 I mean, isn't a lot. 541 00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:01,145 That is a lot. 542 00:18:01,145 --> 00:18:01,865 But it's not an intimate. 543 00:18:01,865 --> 00:18:03,145 I wouldn't even call it an intimate wedding. 544 00:18:03,145 --> 00:18:04,665 No, it's just crappy. 545 00:18:04,665 --> 00:18:05,625 Maybe I wouldn't be so good. 546 00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:08,585 We had a 150 people for a christmas 40. 547 00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:10,585 Yeah, I can't do intimate. 548 00:18:10,585 --> 00:18:12,745 No, and that was just his mates. 549 00:18:12,745 --> 00:18:15,705 Yeah, I was only allowed to invite like a few of my own. 550 00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:17,625 I think I like the idea of an intimate wedding. 551 00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:20,025 And I think I like to have the top hand one for someone 552 00:18:20,025 --> 00:18:21,945 where we have a really good healthy budget 553 00:18:21,945 --> 00:18:24,905 for like a real intimate guest experience. 554 00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:26,105 Real focus on the guest. 555 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:30,505 But in reality, me personally, I like the idea of it. 556 00:18:30,505 --> 00:18:32,905 But I don't think I'd practically be able to actually 557 00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:34,105 narrow down a guest list. 558 00:18:34,105 --> 00:18:35,705 No, I think I'm fending people. 559 00:18:35,705 --> 00:18:40,025 Certain type of, yeah, certain type of person. 560 00:18:40,025 --> 00:18:41,305 There you go. 561 00:18:41,305 --> 00:18:43,145 Certain type of person. 562 00:18:43,145 --> 00:18:44,905 But they sit sound like it's negative. 563 00:18:44,905 --> 00:18:46,345 No, just people are different. 564 00:18:46,345 --> 00:18:46,905 People are different. 565 00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:49,545 And if you know dancing till two o'clock in the morning 566 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,905 isn't your thing, then maybe an intimate wedding is for you. 567 00:18:52,905 --> 00:18:53,465 Yeah. 568 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,425 But then some people find like smaller guest numbers 569 00:18:56,425 --> 00:18:58,025 makes it more about them. 570 00:18:58,025 --> 00:19:00,185 They're actually like getting lost in a bigger party. 571 00:19:00,185 --> 00:19:01,145 Yes. 572 00:19:01,145 --> 00:19:02,345 But there we have it. 573 00:19:02,345 --> 00:19:05,945 Lots of food for thought, hopefully on pros and cons. 574 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,625 And I've thought about things of an intimate wedding 575 00:19:07,625 --> 00:19:10,425 that I hadn't thought about for party aspect. 576 00:19:10,425 --> 00:19:12,985 So hopefully that's given you some insight. 577 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,985 Not much of a disagreement between the two of us. 578 00:19:14,985 --> 00:19:15,545 There we are. 579 00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,065 I don't think there's going to be any disagreement. 580 00:19:17,065 --> 00:19:22,985 So join us next week when we have another interesting guest on all of you. 581 00:19:22,985 --> 00:19:24,745 But make sure you are following. 582 00:19:24,745 --> 00:19:27,065 You're seeing, subscribing, downloading. 583 00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:27,785 All of the above. 584 00:19:27,785 --> 00:19:28,585 Yay! 585 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,834 See you next season.