Transcript
00:00:04 Alison
Welcome to mental wealth, the podcast to invest in your mind. Here I will help you make sense of your mind and behaviours, giving you the tools to have your best life. There is so much to share, so let's get into this episode and explore another great topic.
00:00:23 Alison
Welcome to episode 46. In this episode, I'm almost going to say.
00:00:29 Alison
I don't really know where we're.
00:00:30 Alison
Going to go because I've got the most amazing guest and I'd like to welcome Jules Kelly to this episode.
00:00:38 Jules
Hello, darling. Excited to be here. Thank you for having me.
00:00:43 Alison
You're welcome. You're welcome. Well, this podcast for me is all about having real conversations, talking in a way that makes sense to people. There's a lot of noise out there. There's a lot of different ways that we can help ourselves. There's lots of talk about, wellbeing.
00:01:00 Alison
And for me, sometimes just getting down to some of the basics, some of the realities.
00:01:08 Alison
And I know that.
00:01:09 Alison
You're perfect to have a conversation about those.
00:01:12 Jules
And we've talked for blooming hours couldn't we on it, to be honest with you, Alison. Life's tough right now for so many people.
00:01:20 Jules
And sometimes it's hard to stay up, isn't it? It's hard and yeah, so well-being for me is.
00:01:31 Jules
Is the foundation of everything.
00:01:33 Jules
But it takes work and.
00:01:37 Jules
And these things don't come easy, and that's OK. And and it's OK to. I think one of the main things for me, Alison, that I've set myself this year and I think you might resonate is to afford myself the same level of grace that I afford other people.
00:01:55 Alison
Yeah, that's a really good strategy, isn't it? We don't always treat ourselves in any way, shape or form the same as we would to someone else.
00:02:03 Jules
Absolutely. And one of our my clients message this morning, I said how can I be kinder to myself?
00:02:10 Jules
So I just went back to her and said, well, what does kindness mean to you? Because again, it's all subjective, isn't it? It's literally everybody has a different idea of what?
00:02:22 Jules
A kind is what successful is, what making it is all of those things and. And I think as I've got older, mine have changed so much, you know, success for me is looks a lot different to what success looked like for me when I was 21, for example.
00:02:40 Alison
Yeah.
00:02:41
00:02:42 Jules
And what.
00:02:44 Jules
A shame we have to do it this way and I always wish I knew now that - God I sound like my mum, I wish I knew now then what I know now.
00:02:46 Alison
Yeah.
00:02:55 Alison
But what's really interesting about that, and I think we we could all say that is we can't know it because you have to live it to be able to like really believe it. You know, I love nothing more than working with a younger person, somebody who.
00:03:10 Alison
Is it, you know, maybe it just about start all this challenge that we have to go through and yes you can sort of accelerate it for them a little bit, but actually most of the time you do need to just experience it so that you come out the other side with that lived experience because that is where your.
00:03:31 Alison
Answers are and I think sometimes we.
00:03:32 Alison
Want to fast track don't we?
00:03:33 Alison
We're so impatient these days. We want that instant gratification. You know, we see a solution in a, I don't know, a come on this weekend. Course and you will be transformed.
00:03:45 Jules
Change the world.
00:03:46 Alison
Yeah. And actually.
00:03:48 Alison
That, that isn't true, and I think it's important that we start to challenge some of that really.
00:03:55 Jules
Yeah, absolutely. And you know you can, you can have a coaching session. You're not going to change your world in in an hour. It takes intentional, consistent change to make these things happen. But I am. I do believe that as a society, we are heading for big changes.
00:04:14 Jules
And I did. I I didn't start my well-being journey until I was 47 and I'm 50. Hold on, how old am I next week.
00:04:20 Jules
54 next week, I'm 54 next week, and I'm thinking that if I can teach my kids how to look after themselves.
00:04:31 Jules
Now then, they may not have to go through some of the challenges that I've been through because I don't believe whilst I believe that life experience is absolutely, massively important and lived, experiences are from who we are, who we share with us today.
00:04:49 Jules
But I do think had we learned differently, had we had, had we grown up in a different way, which is obvious, we would know better. And so I I do advocate for learning these lessons sooner and and it's my drive and Claires drive to to share our knowledge and our experience so that.
00:05:10 Jules
Like you said about working with younger people, you can maybe help them navigate some curveballs in a way that they don't have to climb Everest and back and go around the block 432 times to have learned the lesson.
00:05:19
00:05:22 Alison
I totally agree, and that's one of my reasons for writing my book.
00:05:24 Alison
Which is interestingly is is just turned 4, so you know it's it's been out there for four years and one of my reasons for writing it was to share all of the stuff that I've learned to hope that you could fast track a little bit or just shave off a little bit of that journey.
00:05:44 Jules
Mine is 2 as well.
00:05:46 Jules
And and interestingly, I think we're quite similar in that way. We didn't write the book for an ego piece. It was literally about sharing knowledge and helping people. And my book, I think my book is it 2, two or three years, you know what times gone by so quickly. But it was always about how we could share how I could share my learning.
00:06:06 Jules
With as many people as possible, because if I could do it, so could they.
00:06:10 Alison
Yeah. And I think that's where people need to hear that though, and that's why things like what you're listening to and what conversations people are having are so important.
00:06:21 Jules
Yeah, and. And also like to make sure that.
00:06:25 Jules
You're you're working with the right people is also massively important and we talk about this a lot because we get a lot of people that they want a a day's course and then think that there are.
00:06:35 Jules
They are a master of it and then knock out some courses and people then go and sign up to them and expect so much. And actually they're going to get surface level because what they're taught isn't necessarily fabulous. And so just making sure that you, you know, you are really intentional and.
00:06:55 Jules
Clear on what it is you're looking for.
00:06:58 Alison
I think so.
00:06:58 Jules
Because when we hit this sort of world, we go like, oh, we, we suck up all the information and we can get that shiny object thing where, you know, ohh, maybe it should do that. Maybe it should do that. And ohh my that somebody's doing that. And they said this and that and you go actually you could and we've done all of the courses. We've spent thousands of pounds and actually we didn't need to.
00:07:19 Alison
But I think you're right.
00:07:19 Jules
And that's frustrating as well sometimes, but we could just stay in our lane.
00:07:22 Alison
And I think you are right to. Yeah, stay in our lane. But I think you are right to make sure that you do you know your your research or your due diligence in terms of looking for the right people because you know you and I Jules have been doing this for a very, very long time.
00:07:37 Alison
So we know that we've have the right to wear the badge to say that we are qualified and some, but there are people out there who haven't quite got that experience yet. And you know I I got caught in somebody's shiny brochure once and they there was no substance attached to what they could.
00:07:57 Alison
Actually offer.
00:07:58 Jules
And it's important and that's why, like when we work with anybody, we always have the connection calls first just to make sure.
00:08:04 Jules
That to find out what it is that people want to achieve, what it is they wanna learn, and whether or not we're aligned because there's nothing worse than working with someone that you just don't get.
00:08:14
00:08:15 Jules
But if you're not allowed, and again it might be that somebody else's better place to deal with them than us. So again that from an integrity point of view.
00:08:24 Jules
It works. Doesn't it just pass people on to other qualified and?
00:08:30 Jules
And providers with integrity.
00:08:35 Alison
I think so and and I'm a fan of that. I would pass people on when I feel that they would be better suited to somebody else. So I think that's one of the first things that we're saying, isn't it for us all to remember that there is lots of help out there.
00:08:48
00:08:49 Alison
In all sorts of guys is some of it looking very shiny and very promising, may not be.
00:08:57 Jules
It might be.
00:08:57 Alison
But it might be.
00:08:59 Alison
Do your research, ask around.
00:09:01
00:09:02 Alison
Wait, you know, don't get trapped. So pulled into the trap of it being that instant fix because I think that's so important.
00:09:09 Jules
Yeah, for sure.
00:09:11 Alison
I think something else that I think would be good for us to say because again, I'm a fan of saying it all out loud because I think it helps.
00:09:17 Alison
People.
00:09:17 Alison
Pause and think. OK, it's alright. It's not just happening to me. It's something that we touched on just before we started recording.
00:09:24
00:09:25 Alison
Was, when you know that you need to maybe stop something, change something.
00:09:31 Alison
Make a make an adjustment in a small or large piece of your life, whichever that might be, and to be OK with that. Because I think sometimes people process these things as a failure or that hasn't worked out, but it's not that it hasn't worked out. It's just it's not.
00:09:49 Alison
Working now or.
00:09:51 Alison
It just needs a tweak.
00:09:52 Alison
I'm just interested.
00:09:53 Alison
In your thoughts on that Jules? Cause I know you. You're all so keen to talk about these things.
00:09:58 Jules
Yeah, I did a post about it the other day, Alison, and it was almost like I read people going ohh.
00:10:04 Jules
I've given up, I've given up on that or have not finished that and and just the tone of it sounds like failure. It sounds almost like guilt or shame. That's not. That's not right, isn't it? So I do believe that we all designed specifically in our own way and as a human design specialist.
00:10:24 Jules
As well, there are people that start lots and lots of things, and that's what they're brilliant at, but they're not designed to finish them. And so it's almost like knowing that information. So one of my clients, she cried when when she found out that she was a serial starter because her dad all through growing up, had told her how rubbish she was because she never finished anything.
00:10:44 Jules
Well, she wasn't designed to, right. And so it was almost like this level of relief. She's not designed to. So. OK, so if you're brilliant at starting things, how can you then build that into your life? How can you then build that into your business, where you help people start things? Yeah. And then also.
00:11:04 Jules
Yeah. Yeah. It's things like when you start.
00:11:06 Jules
To read a book.
00:11:07 Jules
For example and it's.
00:11:08 Jules
Like and you're wading through treacle.
00:11:11 Jules
An old version of me.
00:11:15 Jules
May have carried on because I've started and I've started, so I'll finish. But that's hours of my life that I'll never get back.
00:11:25 Jules
And so making that decision actually, no, that's not worth my time. Done. And that's OK. Who who made the rules?
00:11:34 Alison
Exactly cause we get lost in that, don't we? So lost in that.
00:11:35
00:11:38
00:11:38 Jules
And there's so many people that are staying in unhappy marriages and in jobs that they don't want to be in and in unfulfilling relationships or friendships or.
00:11:50 Jules
Processes or you know hobbies - things that that no longer work for them, but walking away is deemed as a failure and it's only deemed as a failure if you.
00:12:01 Jules
Put that on it.
00:12:02 Alison
Yeah. Or you make it up in your head or you've listened to somebody else that says or you don't stick at things, or you should.
00:12:07
00:12:08 Alison
You shouldn't this and all that noise.
00:12:11 Alison
And I think you know it, it is important, isn't it? It's your highlighting.
00:12:14 Alison
In that, getting closer to like who you are, what what your natural style is. You know, if you are a starter then help other people do that and find someone to help you beat the finisher, get somebody to you know, get the right people.
00:12:30 Jules
Absolutely yes. And I've just, yeah, and I'm. And I'm my life purpose is around cycles. So I'm all about the whole thing not starting anything till I've finished it. That being said though.
00:12:43 Jules
I wouldn't finish a book if I was not enjoying it, but in terms of knowing that the cycles of life, so I've just helped someone.
00:12:50 Jules
Proofread their book.
00:12:52 Jules
That wasn't her gift. I can do that. And it's almost like those two skills together. Then get the job done. Yeah, and it's, you know, playing to strengths and strengths and like weaknesses, areas of wisdom. So is looking at where your innate brilliance is and maximising that and where it isn't you go and.
00:13:06 Alison
I like that.
00:13:13 Jules
Find somebody that can help you with that.
00:13:15 Alison
And I think you raised a point there though that sometimes if you are in that space where it's not quite feeling.
00:13:22 Alison
In flow or it's not quite feeling right.
00:13:24
00:13:25 Alison
Asking for the right help can also be interpreted as a failure, and actually 100% isn't, but obviously you've got to get comfy with that.
00:13:35 Alison
Feeling of I.
00:13:36 Alison
Need to ask for help.
00:13:38 Jules
Yeah. And ask him for help is.
00:13:41 Jules
God, he goes into so many different fields, but asking for help is.
00:13:48 Jules
It's perfect, right? How many of us are are like the perfect article? Nobody. Nobody is, like, fully defined and completely in alignment. So, you know, if you can't do something or don't want to do it or it's not like you're, This is why Claire and I work really well together because she does the stuff that I can't stand and vice versa. And so.
00:14:08 Jules
It it's kind of you've got someone to back it off to. But and I was talking to my husband about it before because he he's just on his own mental health journey. And he started a men's circle.
00:14:19
00:14:20 Jules
And the women's circles are full all of the time. You know, women are not backward coming forward. They literally just embrace it. Men have got this real stigma about.
00:14:32 Jules
Reaching out, speaking out and and our podcast this week was about men's mental health and how even Mark saying that just to get other people to other men to.
00:14:44 Jules
Even converse.
00:14:45
00:14:46 Jules
Is really really hard because there is a stigma attached to. If you speak out for help then you are failing. Not good enough, not being able to provide all of those connotations. So again, it's really important that we start changing this narrative.
00:15:05 Alison
You remind me of a conversation I had on a previous podcast with Ryan Parkes. I don't know if you've met Ryan.
00:15:11 Jules
Yes. So interestingly, he was he was somebody that someone else referred to me to, referred to mark.
00:15:19 Jules
And he's all about men and men's mental health is, isn't.
00:15:22 Jules
He as well.
00:15:23
00:15:24 Jules
And testosterone.
00:15:25 Alison
Exactly. So he's talking about it isn't just that we have to speak up, it's that we've got to find different ways.
00:15:33 Jules
Yeah, absolutely. And understand what's going on inside, like, physiologically. Yeah. And yeah, it's massive. It's massive.
00:15:38 Alison
So important.
00:15:41 Alison
I think the word that is hanging around in my head with what we're talking about here is permission. Giving yourself permission to.
00:15:52 Alison
Not finish that book to finish that book, to ask for help to, to be in your own lane. Whatever it whatever it is that we're talking about here. And you know, I had a client this morning as well and something that she needed to hear was that she could give herself permission to put a boundary in.
00:16:09
00:16:10 Alison
Which she was needing to do.
00:16:10 Jules
That permission slips massive, Alison. It's literally, yesterday I did a post. If you need a permission slip because it was the.
00:16:17 Jules
Solar eclipse and.
00:16:18 Jules
The new Moon to stay in bed or get into a cupboard.
00:16:21 Jules
Then here it is because we don't give it to ourselves very often. And we again we talked about it before we came on and started recording was allow yourself the same grace that you afford other people. And if you start to do that, you actually think actually, what do I need? What do I need and you know.
00:16:40 Jules
It's not selfish to put yourself 1st and what you're saying is almost like have permission to be authentically you. And then one of the challenges is that is knowing who the authentic you.
00:16:54 Jules
Is because when we came into the world, we we carry we carry with us 7 generations of trauma. However, we're pretty untouched, aren't we? When we come into the world, we don't choose our parents and we don't choose the society we get grown up into. But everything then is taught. And so the, our authentic selves.
00:17:15 Jules
Is on the other side of all the conditioning, and that's really powerful work and that's that's some of the work that we that Claire and I do in helping people really tune into who that is.
00:17:30 Jules
And and giving them that permission slip to say, OK, we'll be her, then we'll be him then.
00:17:37 Alison
I think so, and I think more and more.
00:17:39 Alison
The way that.
00:17:40 Alison
We live and the way that we.
00:17:41 Alison
Are now.
00:17:43 Alison
Again, the client I was working with this morning, we were talking about almost going against be you, which might mean go against everybody else, not not follow everyone else, not be the sheep she was actually talking about her son.
00:17:57
00:17:59 Alison
You know, letting him have a voice of his own that allows him to, yeah, possibly be different. And and it might not be cool to be different in that moment when you're 11 years old, but actually allowing yourself and encouraging him to not follow like everybody else and actually stand out.
00:18:18
00:18:18
00:18:19 Jules
Yeah, I'd put money on him being a manifester, so I've got a manifester daughter as well, and she's not designed to fit in. So all the way through school she's never felt.
00:18:30 Jules
They're actually fitted in and so the problem isn't her. The problem is that the society that we're trying to put round pegs in square holes and so this is another reason why we're so passionate about bringing embracing individuality, not just not just in the workplace, not just in our own lives, but in education as well. So that these kids aren't given these labels as troublesome.
00:18:54 Jules
Or whatever the condition is, or because they're just made created as individuals and the system isn't geared up for individuals. Unfortunately, the 66% of us that pretty much.
00:19:09 Jules
Follow the curve.
00:19:11 Jules
But there's so many, especially after the lockdown, I think there's so many young people now that are going. Nah, I don't want that. No, I don't want that treadmill. No, thanks.
00:19:17 Jules
Yeah.
00:19:20 Alison
No, I agree. I think there's even older people who are saying I've had enough of that treadmill. So they're wanting to.
00:19:25 Alison
Get off anyway, but you know.
00:19:27 Jules
I felt like today, Alison, get off, I said. I just want to get off for a nap, so that's what we're doing after this call, we're going to go and.
00:19:35 Jules
Put our pumps on and go in the rain.
00:19:38 Alison
Perfect. But I remember being at school and feeling like I didn't understand who I was. I didn't really feel like I understood how to fit in. I wasn't like extreme, but I was definitely not sure how to play the game because I didn't know what the game was and it didn't.
00:19:57 Alison
Feel right? Certainly. And also within my family, I didn't feel like I knew how to fit in and it it creates problems.
00:20:04
00:20:06 Jules
You know, we've talked about that, haven't we?
00:20:08 Jules
And.
00:20:09 Jules
And there's.
00:20:10 Jules
The way that.
00:20:11 Jules
You show up is based on the experiences that you've had and you know for you as well, the you've had a lot of experiences when you were very, very young. And that shows up and it's normal for you and and until it's until you stop and look at it and think.
00:20:24 Alison
Yeah.
00:20:29 Jules
Actually, whilst it's normal for me, that's.
00:20:30 Jules
Not really normal.
00:20:33 Jules
And that actually allows you to then stop and make sense and give yourself. Give yourself that kindness.
00:20:39 Jules
Give yourself a level of understanding. Give yourself a breathing space and go. And actually I'm doing bloody great.
00:20:45 Alison
Yeah, but again, it's almost the permission to see that, isn't it? It's so so often.
00:20:51 Jules
That's your next book, 'The Permission Slip'.
00:20:54 Alison
I love that I love the whole concept of I'm going to be handing out permission slips left, right and centre and anyone listening today, anyone listening today we are handing out permission slips to just do you to be whatever and and it might be a tiny thing. You might just need to give yourself permission to do what?
00:21:01
00:21:14 Alison
Jules is gonna do, which is turn the laptop off after this and go off and have a walk.
00:21:18 Alison
Or it might be something else. It doesn't matter what it is, but I think using language like this internally and externally and saying it's OK I I'm allowed to do this. No one's telling me not to, whether it's you or whether it's someone else's voice.
00:21:36 Jules
Yeah, and. And damn, the word should. Yeah, good one should should is get in room 101. If you're doing stuff because you should.
00:21:38 Alison
Yes.
00:21:44 Jules
And it doesn't light you up and it's doing nobody any favours.
00:21:48 Alison
I always like to get people and I hear them should-ing to.
00:21:51 Alison
Ask who says?
00:21:56 Jules
We made the rules?
00:21:57 Alison
Who says that you should?
00:22:00 Jules
Yeah.
00:22:00 Alison
Do that or not, or shouldn't do that? Who says and when you pause to ask yourself that question, usually you're.
00:22:07 Alison
You'll get a, well, no one really. It's just a idea in my head, and that's where people can then start to go. Well, don't do it then or or whatever. The appropriate thing is.
00:22:19 Jules
Exactly that I haven't got time. Haven't got time for to do that for myself. If you swapped that out for I'm abandoning myself and my needs all of a sudden.
00:22:20 Alison
So much but.
00:22:31 Jules
That's OK. Well, that doesn't sound good. So we're.
00:22:35 Jules
Gonna do that?
00:22:36 Alison
Nice. Yeah. And again, it's that that almost that change of language is going to give somebody permission to do probably what's right for them. And that might be sitting on the sofa with a blanket and a hot cup of coffee or it might be something else. It doesn't matter.
00:22:51 Alison
Again, I think people get so lost. I was working with somebody yesterday and the overthinking that was going on.
00:22:59 Alison
It's exhausting. It's just exhausting. Just down the rabbit Warren all of the time.
00:23:03 Jules
Yeah, come on. And and and there's a lot, there's low. There's so much so much of that. There's the overthinking. And then when people have lived this, this life of duty and obligation and business, their nervous system is addicted to that cortisone, that adrenaline.
00:23:23 Jules
And so even when they tell themselves to slow down and switch off their bodies, not used to it. So they're still fine. And. And so the nervous system regulation piece is huge and.
00:23:33 Jules
Think the more that we understand that, the more that we can then really tune into what's going on for us as a, as a human suit.
00:23:44 Jules
Why do I feel like that, why can't I sit still. I can't do that because whilst whilst you may not have these obligations anymore, your body's not been told yet.
00:23:52 Alison
Yeah.
00:23:53 Alison
I think that's that connection, isn't it? Between.
00:23:56 Alison
The mind, body, head, heart connection and just being able to actually take. And that's where sometimes for me looking at some of these shiny brochures, let's call them that are promising things.
00:24:08 Alison
You know, they're they're.
00:24:09 Alison
Tapping into a a A small part of what actually needs to happen, which isn't the work.
00:24:16 Alison
It isn't overnight. It's not a sensation that can just happen, it's it's a it's a journey that you continue to go on every day.
00:24:25 Alison
For for forever.
00:24:25 Jules
It is. It is an and that's why we do very little one day stuff because.
00:24:32 Jules
We do like snapshot stuff, but the transformational change for us is not the surface level stuff will work for a little while, but it's not sustainable. So it has to make it sustainable it. You have to go deep, you have to go to the core, you have to understand the somatic element and.
00:24:51 Jules
Which is why we.
00:24:52 Jules
Where? Where we.
00:24:53 Jules
Gone down this trauma reform drew because again, knowing how to read body language, knowing how to understand what's going on for someone just by how their posture.
00:25:04 Jules
Is and and and. What's going on in the nervous system will help us see beyond words.
00:25:10 Alison
Yeah, because sometimes the words are not clumsy and cluttered, aren't they? Most often people.
00:25:14 Jules
You know, or sometimes I don't say anything and and they think that they're hiding it really well, but actually when you can see what's going on and understand what's going on, you know that they're in like, either a functional freeze or they're actually in fight or flight or.
00:25:28 Jules
Yet they're just using words to cover it up, because they've had this mask on.
00:25:31 Jules
For so long.
00:25:32 Alison
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:33 Jules
And.
00:25:34 Alison
And they've convinced themselves that the mask is.
00:25:37 Alison
The reality, which of course it is, but it's not actually the sustainable reality and you know I like to talk about lots of pieces in a jigsaw and all of them are important every single tiny bit is important to make.
00:25:39
00:25:51 Alison
Up the big picture.
00:25:53 Jules
You you spot on and when we when we did our clinical trial and we went to take it to another university to to ask to do more of it they wanted to they wanted to do they wanted to know which bit of it worked the best again they were trying to put stuff.
00:26:14 Jules
In square pegs in round holes and I'm I'm saying.
00:26:17 Jules
Every bit of it.
00:26:18 Jules
Works. Yeah, it's.
00:26:21 Jules
Bringing it together.
00:26:23 Jules
And holistically.
00:26:24
00:26:26 Jules
That it works much stronger by doing it all, so I can't say that point one, two and three worked better because if you don't have point four, five and six then 1-2 and three may not have worked so well.
00:26:41 Jules
So again, it's all about, yeah, challenging.
00:26:44 Jules
The norm.
00:26:45 Alison
I think so and and I think it's.
00:26:48 Alison
You know, for me it feels like because there is so much potential that we can.
00:26:52 Alison
Do, you know whether that is the basics like going out for a walk or whether that's the deepest stuff? Whichever it is, if you are able to focus on the fact that you have done something that day, then that's you making the steps towards. So we we often want the.
00:27:12 Alison
Huge change, but actually just being able to pause isn't it? And noticing in the moment I did that, I was happy with that, just like that candle. And you know, whatever it might be and send that message to yourself.
00:27:27 Jules
The first thing.
00:27:27 Jules
To do every day is to make your bed.
00:27:30 Jules
Because that's your first achievement of the.
00:27:31 Jules
Day and you'll.
00:27:33 Jules
Be able to look at it and.
00:27:34 Jules
Go. Oh, thank you bed.
00:27:34 Jules
That was a lovely sleep. Now it's looking nice for.
00:27:38 Jules
Later, yeah.
00:27:39 Jules
And it is something you've actually done and achieved something that day?
00:27:42 Alison
Yeah. And again, it feels so simple and some people listening in might have some biggest challenges and they might think are that's not gonna work. But actually because it's a solid piece of the jigsaw.
00:27:55 Jules
Yeah.
00:27:55 Alison
And then in there, you're putting giving yourself permission for this and allowing yourself to this and.
00:28:00 Alison
Being, please. It all makes up that complex.
00:28:03 Jules
Every single bit and its own individual right. And I remember the lady that did her clinical trial with us. I said like exercise, she could hardly move. And I said OK, well, I want you to put the bins.
00:28:14 Jules
Out this week.
00:28:15 Jules
She looked at me, so I'm never going to be able to do that. And she.
00:28:19 Jules
Did it and then.
00:28:20 Alison
Yeah.
00:28:21 Jules
You know, four months later, she's walking up mountains, so her putting the bin out like you say, it's that really important part of that jigsaw to get her started on that, that whole process.
00:28:32 Alison
Because I think that's where people get overwhelmed, isn't it? They they see the the big changes or the big steps that they need to make, or maybe they look at what everyone else is doing or someone else is.
00:28:43 Alison
Doing and then they they think. I can't go from here to there because they're not looking at the the steps and that's where I like to think about all the little bits. All the little nuances, the little language changes little bits and pieces that just help us be able to make those steps and suddenly you start to feel better and that's it you started.
00:29:03 Jules
Absolutely. And it is the little things.
00:29:04 Jules
The little simple things consistently that will create the greatest change.
00:29:10 Alison
I love that. I think that's brilliant. Message to remember for all of us, it is the consistency. It's the smallest things sometimes make the biggest impact, don't they? And giving and permission slips on the ready.
00:29:20 Jules
Yeah, absolutely.
00:29:23 Jules
Oh my God. Listen, we're gonna be we're gonna be marketing them. They'll be on your merchandise next. Well, the permission slips.
00:29:27 Alison
I love it.
00:29:33 Alison
I love that. I love that.
00:29:35 Alison
So space and freedom is obviously where you and Claire hang out. We've put the links in the show notes so that people.
00:29:42 Alison
Can come and.
00:29:43 Alison
Follow you and find out a bit more about you, but is there anything that you want to share before we finish?
00:29:52 Jules
Really just just be you just be 100% you and if.
00:29:56 Jules
You don't know who you are.
00:29:59 Jules
Then just give yourself some space to find that person. We've got a free human design report on our page, which we put in the show, notes Alison. And people can get a free report just by putting in their details there to give them an idea of who they.
00:30:08 Alison
Yep.
00:30:15 Jules
Were meant to be when they came to this earth, and it sounds really wacky, but there's a lot of science.
00:30:21 Jules
Behind it and we've not met anybody yet. That isn't doesn't align with their design. You need your name, your date of birth and your time.
00:30:27 Jules
Of.
00:30:27 Jules
Birth name, date of birth, time and place of birth. And with that you will. You will get a basic report which will which will answer lots of questions for you.
00:30:37 Alison
I I enjoy doing mine with you, so I would definitely urge people to.
00:30:41 Alison
Check that out.
00:30:43 Alison
Thank you.
00:30:44 Jules
But have a lovely week. Whatever you're all doing.
00:30:47 Alison
Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today.
00:30:51 Jules
Thank you for having me.
00:30:57 Alison
Thank you for listening and sharing in this episode of Mental Wealth. Remember, you can subscribe wherever you get your podcast. My last question to you is what is the one small thing that you can take action on from this episode? Message me.
00:31:14 Alison
On Instagram or through our website with questions you'd like me to explore.
00:31:18 Alison
We'll find the links in the show notes.
00:31:21 Alison
I will be back with more tools.
00:31:22 Alison
And tips to make sense of your mind in the next episode.
00:31:26 Alison
In the meantime.
00:31:27 Alison
Be kind to yourself. Bye for now.