00:00:00.017 --> 00:00:03.237
Kevin Lowe: What if your entire life had to be rebuilt?
00:00:03.617 --> 00:00:07.077
Kevin Lowe: But here's the twist. In a country that you don't speak the language,
00:00:07.337 --> 00:00:11.837
Kevin Lowe: you don't have a job, you can't even figure out how to turn on this stinking shower.
00:00:12.137 --> 00:00:18.197
Kevin Lowe: Today, you are about to meet Zoma Williams, also known as the swearing therapist.
00:00:18.577 --> 00:00:23.017
Kevin Lowe: And may I say, OMG, you are going to love her.
00:00:23.497 --> 00:00:26.377
Kevin Lowe: Basically, Zoma, she's raw.
00:00:26.617 --> 00:00:32.117
Kevin Lowe: She's real and oh so resilient. and that is exactly what we're tapping into
00:00:32.117 --> 00:00:37.037
Kevin Lowe: for you because today you're going to be entertained but you're also going to
00:00:37.037 --> 00:00:40.797
Kevin Lowe: be empowered because you're going to take what she's been through and you're
00:00:40.797 --> 00:00:43.197
Kevin Lowe: going to be able to put it into application in your life.
00:00:43.377 --> 00:00:48.577
Kevin Lowe: As you will hear, Zoma's story has us starting off in Argentina where she grew
00:00:48.577 --> 00:00:53.577
Kevin Lowe: up but then it switches to her navigating life as an immigrant in America.
00:00:53.737 --> 00:00:57.957
Kevin Lowe: You'll hear the stories of her battling cancer, dealing with heartbreak,
00:00:58.137 --> 00:00:59.637
Kevin Lowe: and becoming a therapist.
00:01:00.197 --> 00:01:05.017
Kevin Lowe: But the thing that I love the most about her story is this idea of basically
00:01:05.017 --> 00:01:11.417
Kevin Lowe: saying sayonara to society's timeline, of when we're supposed to have those
00:01:11.417 --> 00:01:13.137
Kevin Lowe: certain boxes checked off.
00:01:13.297 --> 00:01:18.917
Kevin Lowe: Because Zolma shows us that life's timeline, it's individual to each of us.
00:01:19.057 --> 00:01:20.997
Kevin Lowe: You are on your own timeline.
00:01:21.257 --> 00:01:25.957
Kevin Lowe: This is your story. It is your opportunity to write it however it goes.
00:01:25.957 --> 00:01:31.597
Kevin Lowe: So my friend, if you feel like you could use a little hope, if you feel like
00:01:31.597 --> 00:01:37.657
Kevin Lowe: you could use a little fiery inspiration, a reminder that you are right where you're meant to be,
00:01:37.877 --> 00:01:41.037
Kevin Lowe: that it is not too late to pursue your dreams,
00:01:41.577 --> 00:01:43.597
Kevin Lowe: my friend, this is for you.
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Kevin Lowe: This is episode 399 of Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.
00:01:49.377 --> 00:01:55.037
Kevin Lowe: I'm, of course, your host, Kevin Lowe. And my friend, it is my honor and pleasure
00:01:55.037 --> 00:02:00.817
Kevin Lowe: and, dare I say, excitement to introduce you to today's fiery guest,
00:02:01.117 --> 00:02:03.357
Kevin Lowe: none other than Zoma Williams.
00:02:03.817 --> 00:02:07.637
Kevin Lowe: My friend, this is my interview with the swearing therapist.
00:02:08.517 --> 00:02:16.417
Podcast Intro: I got grit, grace, and inspiration on my mind. No matter the storms that rise, I won't be left behind...
00:02:31.124 --> 00:02:35.304
Kevin Lowe: I'm in the studio with Zoma Williams. Zoma, welcome to the podcast.
00:02:36.104 --> 00:02:38.904
Zulma Williams: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. How are you, Kevin?
00:02:39.264 --> 00:02:43.104
Kevin Lowe: I am doing amazing. How are you today? You doing good?
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Zulma Williams: Yes. So excited to be here. Thank you for having me.
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Kevin Lowe: Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, Zoma, I would love for us to dive into your story.
00:02:52.744 --> 00:02:56.964
Kevin Lowe: And where I would really love to begin is I know that you are originally from
00:02:56.964 --> 00:03:03.964
Kevin Lowe: argentina and so i would love to hear from you a little bit about life for you growing up.
00:03:03.964 --> 00:03:10.104
Zulma Williams: Okay yes i was born and raised in buenos aires argentina i came to the united
00:03:10.104 --> 00:03:16.244
Zulma Williams: states when i was 31 so i was an adult growing up in buenos aires it was my
00:03:16.244 --> 00:03:21.784
Zulma Williams: mom was a homemaker my dad was the one working and providing for the family.
00:03:22.144 --> 00:03:27.944
Zulma Williams: It was like a quote-unquote normal childhood, but I didn't know any different.
00:03:28.344 --> 00:03:35.464
Zulma Williams: So I played a lot in the street and with my neighbors, and we would come home
00:03:35.464 --> 00:03:39.464
Zulma Williams: when the street lights went on and all those things,
00:03:39.644 --> 00:03:44.084
Zulma Williams: which was what I consider a pretty standard childhood.
00:03:44.604 --> 00:03:48.964
Zulma Williams: But growing up, and then when I moved here and I start looking back,
00:03:49.224 --> 00:03:54.324
Zulma Williams: I realized that it was completely different than a childhood in America.
00:03:54.564 --> 00:03:58.384
Zulma Williams: But because I didn't have anything to compare it to, I was like,
00:03:58.464 --> 00:04:01.164
Zulma Williams: oh, okay, shit, like this is normal, right?
00:04:01.324 --> 00:04:07.724
Zulma Williams: So, for example, we had one car that was a family of five,
00:04:08.364 --> 00:04:13.344
Zulma Williams: and the only one who drove the car was my dad, and it was only for emergencies
00:04:13.344 --> 00:04:18.464
Zulma Williams: because we barely could afford insurance and gas money.
00:04:19.504 --> 00:04:24.924
Zulma Williams: So my dad rode the bus every day to go to work, right? And it was like two hours
00:04:24.924 --> 00:04:26.904
Zulma Williams: to go and two hours to come back.
00:04:27.284 --> 00:04:36.984
Zulma Williams: So I realized that we have, like, what we consider normal is like it's a perspective issue.
00:04:37.704 --> 00:04:42.784
Zulma Williams: Right. It's depending on where you are. But I had, you know,
00:04:42.924 --> 00:04:47.944
Zulma Williams: like we didn't have any luxuries, but I, I, I went to public school.
00:04:47.964 --> 00:04:51.884
Zulma Williams: Like I had the friends in my neighborhood.
00:04:51.904 --> 00:04:56.724
Zulma Williams: Like I didn't, like I rode the bus to go to school when I went into high school.
00:04:56.724 --> 00:05:00.224
Zulma Williams: To public school, I would walk in elementary.
00:05:00.664 --> 00:05:05.104
Zulma Williams: I would walk to the school. And then for high school, I would take the bus.
00:05:05.244 --> 00:05:10.484
Zulma Williams: But it was like a 10-minute bus ride. So it wasn't too far from where I live.
00:05:10.984 --> 00:05:17.464
Zulma Williams: But all the action was happening in the capital, right? Like in the city.
00:05:17.804 --> 00:05:22.744
Zulma Williams: So it would take two hours to get to the action per se, right?
00:05:22.964 --> 00:05:28.884
Zulma Williams: Which was where the jobs were and all that. So it was awesome to me.
00:05:29.264 --> 00:05:33.104
Zulma Williams: Now I have my friends who have children.
00:05:33.384 --> 00:05:38.064
Zulma Williams: And I was like, oh, shit. You know, they go everywhere in the car.
00:05:38.384 --> 00:05:43.944
Zulma Williams: And my friends' children have a completely different life than I have.
00:05:44.084 --> 00:05:47.524
Zulma Williams: Now, granted, this is fucking, I'm going to be 60 this year.
00:05:47.664 --> 00:05:52.484
Zulma Williams: So this is like 50 years ago, right? 55 years ago.
00:05:52.684 --> 00:05:55.924
Zulma Williams: But it was a nice time growing up.
00:05:56.204 --> 00:06:02.764
Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Yeah. Now, you said that you did not actually leave to come to America until you were 31.
00:06:03.384 --> 00:06:03.884
Zulma Williams: Yes.
00:06:04.264 --> 00:06:07.884
Kevin Lowe: Now, why at that point in your life?
00:06:07.984 --> 00:06:11.924
Kevin Lowe: Because I know I've interviewed people on the podcast before who've lived in
00:06:11.924 --> 00:06:15.784
Kevin Lowe: other countries and they came to America like after they finished high school,
00:06:15.924 --> 00:06:16.984
Kevin Lowe: like for college and stuff.
00:06:17.184 --> 00:06:20.524
Kevin Lowe: So what made you at 31 decide to leave?
00:06:20.524 --> 00:06:23.724
Zulma Williams: So coming to america was
00:06:23.724 --> 00:06:27.264
Zulma Williams: a teenager dream of mine but
00:06:27.264 --> 00:06:30.964
Zulma Williams: you know i at that time at 31 i
00:06:30.964 --> 00:06:33.764
Zulma Williams: didn't have a job like i was without a job
00:06:33.764 --> 00:06:36.704
Zulma Williams: for like a couple of years i was still living with my mom
00:06:36.704 --> 00:06:39.524
Zulma Williams: i didn't have a family i
00:06:39.524 --> 00:06:42.364
Zulma Williams: didn't have children i didn't have a boyfriend i was like
00:06:42.364 --> 00:06:45.624
Zulma Williams: it's it's kind of like when you have nothing
00:06:45.624 --> 00:06:48.524
Zulma Williams: you have nothing to lose right so
00:06:48.524 --> 00:06:53.884
Zulma Williams: i took it as an adventure but a precipitating event because i was toying with
00:06:53.884 --> 00:06:59.444
Zulma Williams: this idea of like oh i'm gonna you know i'm gonna go to america see what's what's
00:06:59.444 --> 00:07:08.064
Zulma Williams: going on there blah blah blah but i had a cousin who died of a stroke And he was 31.
00:07:08.504 --> 00:07:13.424
Zulma Williams: So we were like very close in age. And that was a precipitated event.
00:07:13.424 --> 00:07:19.304
Zulma Williams: Because when you are 30, when you are young, you think, oh, you have your entire life in front of you.
00:07:19.655 --> 00:07:22.455
Zulma Williams: And my cousin's death kind of like
00:07:22.455 --> 00:07:25.215
Zulma Williams: put everything into perspective i was like bitch you better
00:07:25.215 --> 00:07:28.835
Zulma Williams: start fucking right now so that
00:07:28.835 --> 00:07:32.035
Zulma Williams: was the main precipitated event was
00:07:32.035 --> 00:07:38.295
Zulma Williams: like life is happening right now and it can change at any minute so i went to
00:07:38.295 --> 00:07:43.095
Zulma Williams: my therapist and i told him like oh i'm going so because i've been talking to
00:07:43.095 --> 00:07:46.815
Zulma Williams: him like oh i'm gonna you know i'm thinking of going to America and then my
00:07:46.815 --> 00:07:50.295
Zulma Williams: cousin died and then I'm like I'm fucking living in two months you know what I mean
00:07:50.915 --> 00:07:56.875
Zulma Williams: Like it was an unfortunate event but that opened my eyes because you think that
00:07:56.875 --> 00:08:01.995
Zulma Williams: you have time we all think that we have time we don't life can change in a second
00:08:01.995 --> 00:08:10.535
Zulma Williams: so like I decided I was gonna move here and I did it and it was December of 1996
00:08:11.135 --> 00:08:15.375
Zulma Williams: it was Christmas right like it was like a fucking movie like all the houses
00:08:15.375 --> 00:08:21.275
Zulma Williams: were decorated with the lights and everybody was like in the festive,
00:08:21.715 --> 00:08:23.175
Zulma Williams: you know, the Christmas spirit.
00:08:23.555 --> 00:08:27.995
Zulma Williams: It was kind of like coming here was kind of like I was living in a movie.
00:08:28.375 --> 00:08:33.355
Zulma Williams: Then fucking reality set in. But at the beginning, I first landed like it was
00:08:33.355 --> 00:08:36.775
Zulma Williams: like being in a movie, but I took it as an adventure.
00:08:37.095 --> 00:08:41.895
Zulma Williams: My mom gave me her blessing and she was like, if it doesn't work out,
00:08:42.035 --> 00:08:44.655
Zulma Williams: you always have your home here and
00:08:45.135 --> 00:08:51.235
Zulma Williams: food and and i was like okay like i don't have anything to lose so because i
00:08:51.235 --> 00:08:54.535
Zulma Williams: have nothing so it's going up from there yeah
00:08:54.535 --> 00:08:59.975
Kevin Lowe: Now before moving to america had you ever visited america just on vacation.
00:08:59.975 --> 00:09:07.315
Zulma Williams: No it was my first actually before moving to america was my fucking first time in on an airplane
00:09:07.935 --> 00:09:09.875
Kevin Lowe: What? Oh, my gosh.
00:09:10.295 --> 00:09:16.475
Zulma Williams: Yes. So it was an adventure. Like when I tell you that it was a movie, it was a fucking movie.
00:09:16.595 --> 00:09:19.715
Zulma Williams: Like I didn't even know how to fasten the feedback.
00:09:20.495 --> 00:09:20.795
Kevin Lowe: Wow.
00:09:21.315 --> 00:09:29.215
Zulma Williams: Like I was mesmerized by the entire experience. I remember I first landed in Miami.
00:09:30.215 --> 00:09:34.775
Zulma Williams: So I have an uncle and my aunt and my cousins living in California.
00:09:34.775 --> 00:09:39.775
Zulma Williams: So that's where I first went. But I first landed in Miami and I remember,
00:09:39.915 --> 00:09:47.795
Zulma Williams: so I knew how to write and read English, but not how to speak because I learned in high school.
00:09:48.335 --> 00:09:53.875
Zulma Williams: So there is like 35 students, you know, you don't have time to be practicing the verbal.
00:09:54.235 --> 00:10:01.175
Zulma Williams: But so I got to Miami and then the guy said, asked me a couple of questions.
00:10:01.175 --> 00:10:09.775
Zulma Williams: And I'm looking at him like what do you know I didn't do it you know so he put
00:10:09.775 --> 00:10:14.315
Zulma Williams: his hand like a stop and then he went to get a piece of paper
00:10:15.395 --> 00:10:20.015
Zulma Williams: with the questions and the questions were like was your luggage with you the
00:10:20.015 --> 00:10:24.535
Zulma Williams: entire time or like have you received anything you know like the normal security
00:10:24.535 --> 00:10:27.815
Zulma Williams: question and I was like oh yes oh no
00:10:29.275 --> 00:10:36.815
Zulma Williams: how to fucking read and write right like so like it was like the entire experience
00:10:36.815 --> 00:10:40.055
Zulma Williams: was like an adventure yeah
00:10:40.055 --> 00:10:48.515
Kevin Lowe: Now was there any point on that plane ride or landing or anything that you ever
00:10:48.515 --> 00:10:53.015
Kevin Lowe: thought to yourself oh my gosh i made a mistake i want to go home.
00:10:53.015 --> 00:10:54.215
Zulma Williams: No no
00:10:54.927 --> 00:11:01.527
Zulma Williams: No, not even in my worst times. So not, not on the trip here. So I went to Florida.
00:11:01.787 --> 00:11:09.527
Zulma Williams: Then I stopped. I don't know. Like I flew for like fucking 20 hours because it was cheaper that way.
00:11:09.847 --> 00:11:13.087
Zulma Williams: Right. Like the ticket was cheaper. but even
00:11:13.087 --> 00:11:16.347
Zulma Williams: after you know i was so mesmerized and
00:11:16.347 --> 00:11:18.947
Zulma Williams: whatever even when i i was having a hard time at the
00:11:18.947 --> 00:11:25.047
Zulma Williams: beginning it was going back was never an option it was like no this is a decision
00:11:25.047 --> 00:11:31.007
Zulma Williams: that i made and i'm gonna tough it up you know like because at the first inconvenience
00:11:31.007 --> 00:11:35.127
Zulma Williams: you're like oh i'm going home bench like fucking put your bigger panties on
00:11:35.127 --> 00:11:37.847
Zulma Williams: and fucking deal with it and that's what i did yeah
00:11:37.847 --> 00:11:45.667
Kevin Lowe: Yeah now you said that you landed in miami where you had some family now did you stay in miami.
00:11:45.667 --> 00:11:48.487
Zulma Williams: No no no i didn't have family in miami i
00:11:48.487 --> 00:11:51.467
Zulma Williams: had a family in los angeles but that was
00:11:51.467 --> 00:11:54.647
Zulma Williams: miami was the first port of entrance right
00:11:54.647 --> 00:11:57.507
Zulma Williams: okay i could have flown to los
00:11:57.507 --> 00:12:00.327
Zulma Williams: angeles but the ticket that way would have
00:12:00.327 --> 00:12:03.027
Zulma Williams: been a lot more expensive so i did it
00:12:03.027 --> 00:12:06.307
Zulma Williams: like a like a longer trip to save
00:12:06.307 --> 00:12:11.727
Zulma Williams: money because i didn't have any money yes yes so i had a hundred dollars in
00:12:11.727 --> 00:12:17.867
Zulma Williams: my possession that my godmother gave me and my dad lent me the money for the
00:12:17.867 --> 00:12:22.627
Zulma Williams: ticket and that was it and now if i had to fly i'm like i'll fucking look at
00:12:22.627 --> 00:12:24.427
Zulma Williams: delta the shortest flight you know what i mean
00:12:25.567 --> 00:12:28.367
Zulma Williams: i fucking do it in 16 hours but at
00:12:28.367 --> 00:12:32.027
Zulma Williams: the time and also it was part of the adventure right
00:12:32.027 --> 00:12:34.847
Zulma Williams: like oh my god i'm gonna be in three planes or
00:12:34.847 --> 00:12:39.967
Zulma Williams: four planes or whatever like okay like you know i didn't give a shit because
00:12:39.967 --> 00:12:44.947
Zulma Williams: i didn't want to it's not like oh my god i had like let's say that if you fly
00:12:44.947 --> 00:12:52.447
Zulma Williams: somewhere for a conference or whatever like you wanted to do it time effective i was exhausted yes
00:12:52.447 --> 00:12:57.287
Kevin Lowe: Absolutely so now your final destination was california.
00:12:57.287 --> 00:13:04.227
Zulma Williams: Yes it was los angeles my cousin went to pick me up at the airport and he took
00:13:04.227 --> 00:13:08.167
Zulma Williams: me momentarily to his home because he needed to go back to work.
00:13:08.367 --> 00:13:10.707
Zulma Williams: He's like, okay, you know, here is the shower.
00:13:10.927 --> 00:13:14.987
Zulma Williams: Like, you know, like, make yourself at home. I didn't even know how to fucking
00:13:14.987 --> 00:13:16.887
Zulma Williams: turn on the fucking shower here.
00:13:17.167 --> 00:13:21.407
Zulma Williams: I didn't even know what my fucking name was.
00:13:21.827 --> 00:13:25.867
Zulma Williams: I've been flying for 20 hours. Like, I don't know where I'm at,
00:13:25.947 --> 00:13:27.267
Zulma Williams: what my name is, whatever.
00:13:27.607 --> 00:13:33.427
Zulma Williams: But I figured I took a shower, I relaxed, I had, you know, something to eat
00:13:33.427 --> 00:13:38.887
Zulma Williams: and then he came back and picked me up and took me to his father's home, right?
00:13:39.007 --> 00:13:41.387
Zulma Williams: Like, which is where I was gonna be staying.
00:13:42.180 --> 00:13:45.700
Zulma Williams: And, you know, it was so important.
00:13:46.020 --> 00:13:50.520
Zulma Williams: So this is my mom's brother, right? My uncle on my mom's side.
00:13:50.940 --> 00:13:54.820
Zulma Williams: And I was 31 and he was helping me.
00:13:54.920 --> 00:14:02.380
Zulma Williams: He had a bakery at the time in California. And he gave me a job there to help
00:14:02.380 --> 00:14:03.900
Zulma Williams: me, you know, get on my feet.
00:14:04.120 --> 00:14:06.600
Zulma Williams: And then, which I was very grateful for.
00:14:06.840 --> 00:14:13.880
Zulma Williams: But then he started trying to control me, right? who at that time were writing letters to, right?
00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:16.480
Zulma Williams: We didn't even have emailing, and I wasn't even a singer.
00:14:17.020 --> 00:14:22.920
Zulma Williams: So who I'm writing letters to, who I'm calling, because I was buying the calling
00:14:22.920 --> 00:14:27.020
Zulma Williams: cards from him, sir, I'm fucking 31 years old.
00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:31.080
Zulma Williams: Like, I'm not a baby, you know what I mean? But because he couldn't control
00:14:31.080 --> 00:14:36.080
Zulma Williams: his own children, which were my age, he tried to control me.
00:14:36.200 --> 00:14:39.560
Zulma Williams: And I was like, I don't think this is going to fucking work out.
00:14:39.560 --> 00:14:45.960
Zulma Williams: And I was devastated, but I told my mom, because I didn't want to create an
00:14:45.960 --> 00:14:48.340
Zulma Williams: issue for my mom, right, with her brother.
00:14:49.780 --> 00:14:53.000
Zulma Williams: Mom said, you do what is best for you.
00:14:53.260 --> 00:14:58.640
Zulma Williams: And so I moved, left the job, like I found a different job.
00:14:59.800 --> 00:15:06.700
Zulma Williams: I started to build my own path while being very grateful because,
00:15:07.020 --> 00:15:12.360
Zulma Williams: again, like I didn't, you know, I didn't know anything about America or the culture or whatever.
00:15:12.580 --> 00:15:15.900
Zulma Williams: And I certainly didn't have a car. I didn't know how to drive.
00:15:16.640 --> 00:15:19.640
Zulma Williams: But I'm like, no, I'm an adult.
00:15:19.920 --> 00:15:24.800
Zulma Williams: And, you know, I do appreciate your help, but I'm going to I had to do what I had to do.
00:15:24.800 --> 00:15:28.900
Zulma Williams: Like you know like so my dad had
00:15:28.900 --> 00:15:31.980
Zulma Williams: a nephew so my
00:15:31.980 --> 00:15:35.200
Zulma Williams: dad is he was born and raised in Syria and
00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:39.560
Zulma Williams: he moved to Argentina when he was 18 so I
00:15:39.560 --> 00:15:42.780
Zulma Williams: didn't know any of my family on my dad's side
00:15:42.780 --> 00:15:46.020
Zulma Williams: because they were all in Syria and I was in Argentina
00:15:46.020 --> 00:15:48.980
Zulma Williams: so a nephew calls my dad
00:15:48.980 --> 00:15:51.960
Zulma Williams: and he said uncle I'm in America I'm in
00:15:51.960 --> 00:15:57.660
Zulma Williams: California and she said oh my daughter is in California and I connected with
00:15:57.660 --> 00:16:03.540
Zulma Williams: that cousin that I never met before on my dad's side he didn't speak Spanish
00:16:03.540 --> 00:16:10.960
Zulma Williams: I didn't speak Arabic the movie fucking communicated in basic English and told me that things
00:16:11.824 --> 00:16:16.384
Zulma Williams: So we hit it off, and I moved to another part.
00:16:16.504 --> 00:16:22.584
Zulma Williams: Oh, okay, so where my uncle, my maternal uncle was, was in the Mexican neighborhood, right?
00:16:22.664 --> 00:16:26.584
Zulma Williams: So I started going to school to learn English as a second language,
00:16:26.644 --> 00:16:32.544
Zulma Williams: and I learned, I have, like, a master's in fucking Mexican, but I didn't learn English, right?
00:16:32.644 --> 00:16:37.944
Zulma Williams: Because, again, we were a lot in the class, and the things that they were teaching,
00:16:37.984 --> 00:16:43.264
Zulma Williams: I already knew that. But what I needed was to practice thinking, right?
00:16:43.684 --> 00:16:50.924
Zulma Williams: So my cousin on my dad's side was in an all-white neighborhood in another part of California.
00:16:51.604 --> 00:16:56.844
Zulma Williams: And that's when I fucking learned English. You know, like I was immersed.
00:16:57.444 --> 00:17:01.684
Zulma Williams: Like one of the things that I learned was more slowly, please.
00:17:02.164 --> 00:17:08.004
Zulma Williams: Because we speak, naturally, all of us, we speak very fast in our native tongue.
00:17:08.004 --> 00:17:13.964
Zulma Williams: So like I was working in a laundromat you know the one that you drop your clothes
00:17:13.964 --> 00:17:18.944
Zulma Williams: and then you can't pick them up so I was like motherfucker slow down or you're
00:17:18.944 --> 00:17:23.304
Zulma Williams: going to get the shirts however I want the starch to be right because I had
00:17:23.304 --> 00:17:24.864
Zulma Williams: to ask you do you want low starch,
00:17:25.044 --> 00:17:31.584
Zulma Williams: medium starch or high starch for your shirt and these motherfuckers will be like I'm like
00:17:32.984 --> 00:17:37.064
Zulma Williams: you know because I'm like motherfucker I'm not understanding what you're saying
00:17:40.184 --> 00:17:45.604
Zulma Williams: So then I started and then I started like you know I didn't know how to
00:17:46.231 --> 00:17:49.131
Zulma Williams: butter was in the supermarket but i fucking learned
00:17:49.131 --> 00:17:51.991
Zulma Williams: yeah because i i was like i had to
00:17:51.991 --> 00:17:55.431
Zulma Williams: speak the language or i'm not gonna communicate you
00:17:55.431 --> 00:17:58.371
Zulma Williams: know what i mean so a funny story
00:17:58.371 --> 00:18:03.171
Zulma Williams: so i'm i'm working at the letter you know a lot of guys come i'm flirting with
00:18:03.171 --> 00:18:10.391
Zulma Williams: one of the guys and i said to him bless his soul i said to him i'm very easy
00:18:10.391 --> 00:18:15.591
Zulma Williams: right so he started laughing and he said i know what you mean
00:18:17.791 --> 00:18:21.411
Zulma Williams: way to say it's like I'm easy going okay
00:18:29.891 --> 00:18:35.831
Zulma Williams: so bless his heart because I was easy you know what I mean I'm like I'm pretty
00:18:35.831 --> 00:18:42.571
Zulma Williams: easy he's like I know what you mean that's you want to say it this way
00:18:45.871 --> 00:18:48.471
Zulma Williams: language you know what i mean like and
00:18:48.471 --> 00:18:52.531
Kevin Lowe: You know what and exactly what you said that's something that no matter how
00:18:52.531 --> 00:18:57.211
Kevin Lowe: good the class is you never would have learned that in in class at college.
00:18:57.211 --> 00:19:04.051
Zulma Williams: Exactly and there was no only fans at that time you know what i mean like so
00:19:04.051 --> 00:19:09.391
Zulma Williams: like that was so funny and i and i look back at those stories and i'm like that
00:19:09.391 --> 00:19:14.031
Zulma Williams: was cute i loved it And it was such a great experience,
00:19:14.371 --> 00:19:18.451
Zulma Williams: even the quote-unquote bad moments,
00:19:19.151 --> 00:19:22.151
Zulma Williams: because it taught me how strong I am.
00:19:22.431 --> 00:19:27.431
Zulma Williams: Like, you know, how do you test yourself in adversity, right?
00:19:27.551 --> 00:19:32.591
Zulma Williams: It's like, tell me one person who didn't have adversity in their lives.
00:19:32.851 --> 00:19:34.811
Zulma Williams: They cannot be more.
00:19:35.251 --> 00:19:36.571
Kevin Lowe: Yes, yes. Right.
00:19:36.831 --> 00:19:42.851
Zulma Williams: So, but despite the cultural shock and everything, like, for example,
00:19:42.951 --> 00:19:46.951
Zulma Williams: like seeing people put ketchup on their fries, I was like, you know,
00:19:48.671 --> 00:19:52.351
Zulma Williams: now give me the fucking, you know, the ketchup better be there.
00:19:52.671 --> 00:19:58.271
Zulma Williams: But all those experiences, like I will not change any one of them.
00:19:58.571 --> 00:19:58.871
Kevin Lowe: Yes.
00:19:59.171 --> 00:20:04.091
Zulma Williams: You know, I love to drive at, I don't know, 32, 33, something like that.
00:20:04.091 --> 00:20:08.911
Zulma Williams: My cousin, my cousin on my dad's side taught me how to drive, right?
00:20:09.111 --> 00:20:16.191
Zulma Williams: I would not change any of my experiences because they made me who I am today.
00:20:16.591 --> 00:20:23.231
Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Yeah, of course. I think that's remarkable. Now, how long would you stay living in California?
00:20:23.811 --> 00:20:31.611
Zulma Williams: So I was in California for about three years because I was transferred by my job.
00:20:31.611 --> 00:20:40.051
Zulma Williams: So, okay, so then I move up in the corporate world and I went from a laundromat to dry cleaners.
00:20:41.055 --> 00:20:45.895
Zulma Williams: And they, in California, and they were expanding in Nevada.
00:20:46.155 --> 00:20:53.775
Zulma Williams: So they wanted to send people who, you know, they want to implement their system here in Nevada.
00:20:54.035 --> 00:21:03.475
Zulma Williams: So I was transferred from my job to Las Vegas in April of 1999.
00:21:03.935 --> 00:21:08.215
Zulma Williams: They sent me and another guy who was also single at the time.
00:21:08.855 --> 00:21:13.775
Zulma Williams: They sent the two of us for, he was a guy from a different location,
00:21:14.035 --> 00:21:16.655
Zulma Williams: so we really kind of like bonded here.
00:21:17.015 --> 00:21:21.775
Zulma Williams: But they sent us because we were single and we didn't have family,
00:21:21.795 --> 00:21:23.635
Zulma Williams: so it was a lot cheaper for them.
00:21:23.915 --> 00:21:30.515
Zulma Williams: But this motherfucker sent us in April to see if we like it in Vegas, right?
00:21:30.735 --> 00:21:33.595
Zulma Williams: April is so nice in Vegas.
00:21:33.915 --> 00:21:37.495
Zulma Williams: Like, weather is nice. so we both
00:21:37.495 --> 00:21:41.915
Zulma Williams: say yes we're going to move and then we move in May and we are fucking melting
00:21:41.915 --> 00:21:50.315
Zulma Williams: you know it's already you know so anyhow I moved to Las Vegas because of work
00:21:50.315 --> 00:21:57.335
Zulma Williams: and then I started to for that job and then I got fired a year later because
00:21:58.235 --> 00:22:05.435
Zulma Williams: Nevada is a right to work state so I referred to a manager and I was like, fucking bitch.
00:22:06.379 --> 00:22:13.119
Zulma Williams: And it got to her ears and I showed up to work with my uniform all cute and everything.
00:22:13.639 --> 00:22:17.399
Zulma Williams: And they said, we don't have any more work for you. Like I was like,
00:22:17.799 --> 00:22:19.459
Zulma Williams: oh, shit, you know, like so.
00:22:20.179 --> 00:22:26.299
Zulma Williams: But by that time, I already got a boyfriend here and I had my friends.
00:22:26.499 --> 00:22:29.039
Zulma Williams: So I was like, well, you know, I just stay.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:35.639
Zulma Williams: But so, yes, I was in California for about three years. And then I moved to
00:22:35.639 --> 00:22:39.399
Zulma Williams: Nevada, and I've been here basically since.
00:22:40.339 --> 00:22:46.739
Kevin Lowe: Wow, wow. Now, culture, as far as moving from Argentina to California,
00:22:47.019 --> 00:22:50.819
Kevin Lowe: California to Vegas, what was the bigger shock?
00:22:50.959 --> 00:22:55.299
Kevin Lowe: I mean, obviously coming Argentina to America, but I mean, was it a big difference
00:22:55.299 --> 00:22:58.019
Kevin Lowe: for you going from California to Vegas?
00:22:58.419 --> 00:23:04.059
Zulma Williams: Yes, it was. Obviously, as she said, the major cultural shock was moving from
00:23:04.059 --> 00:23:05.239
Zulma Williams: Buenos Aires to California.
00:23:05.619 --> 00:23:09.659
Zulma Williams: But having lived in California for about two and a half, three years,
00:23:09.779 --> 00:23:13.379
Zulma Williams: and then moving to Nevada, the thing was that in California,
00:23:13.379 --> 00:23:17.179
Zulma Williams: I was living walking distance from the beach.
00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:20.259
Zulma Williams: So my job was two blocks from the beach.
00:23:20.539 --> 00:23:27.459
Zulma Williams: So I will leave work, go to the beach, see the sunset, and then go home and
00:23:27.459 --> 00:23:28.819
Zulma Williams: have dinner and whatever.
00:23:28.819 --> 00:23:31.719
Zulma Williams: I moved here where like
00:23:31.719 --> 00:23:37.839
Zulma Williams: we have sun but not water right and I was like devastated number one because
00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:46.219
Zulma Williams: of the weather I mean last year in July we had 117 degrees like it was impossible
00:23:46.219 --> 00:23:50.779
Zulma Williams: to like that's not humanly possible to live here you know what I mean like
00:23:51.426 --> 00:23:56.966
Zulma Williams: So the weather was horrible. I didn't have the ocean, which I'm an ocean girl.
00:23:57.146 --> 00:24:00.366
Zulma Williams: Like I will sit there and fucking do nothing.
00:24:00.686 --> 00:24:04.086
Zulma Williams: Like I get mesmerized by the ocean. So I didn't have the ocean.
00:24:04.926 --> 00:24:09.926
Zulma Williams: It was the bus system here is completely different.
00:24:10.046 --> 00:24:14.626
Zulma Williams: In California, like in Los Angeles, you can go anywhere via bus,
00:24:14.886 --> 00:24:17.586
Zulma Williams: right? Like you have a lot of connections.
00:24:17.966 --> 00:24:21.006
Zulma Williams: And that's what I was doing. but when
00:24:21.006 --> 00:24:27.126
Zulma Williams: I moved here I'm like the system the bus system here was horrible so I had to
00:24:27.126 --> 00:24:32.866
Zulma Williams: I've been working 12 hours and it's so hot and then I take the bus and then
00:24:32.866 --> 00:24:40.406
Zulma Williams: I had to walk another 15 minutes until I get home like I was exhausted I was exhausted and I was
00:24:41.086 --> 00:24:47.346
Zulma Williams: waiting like 97 pounds you know what I mean I was like oh shit like I am liking this
00:24:48.406 --> 00:24:52.426
Zulma Williams: But, like, I needed to buy a car immediately, right?
00:24:52.506 --> 00:24:55.906
Zulma Williams: It was like, you need a car to move here.
00:24:56.246 --> 00:24:59.446
Zulma Williams: And people are different, right?
00:24:59.526 --> 00:25:06.246
Zulma Williams: So I got a lot more Hispanic community, believe it or not, because of where
00:25:06.246 --> 00:25:07.906
Zulma Williams: I was living in California.
00:25:08.126 --> 00:25:12.746
Zulma Williams: Although there is a lot of community, the city I was living in,
00:25:12.746 --> 00:25:17.506
Zulma Williams: in Playa del Rey, which is next to Marina del Rey, next to LAX.
00:25:17.726 --> 00:25:20.106
Zulma Williams: And there was a, it was a white neighborhood.
00:25:20.426 --> 00:25:28.606
Zulma Williams: So I moved here and there is like a lot of Hispanic people and in certain areas of Las Vegas.
00:25:29.086 --> 00:25:35.146
Zulma Williams: And, you know, like, but the dry cleaners was a high end dry cleaners.
00:25:35.306 --> 00:25:41.566
Zulma Williams: So I'm gonna sign soap classes on races, but the reality is that the Hispanics
00:25:41.566 --> 00:25:44.426
Zulma Williams: that were in the dry cleaners were us working there.
00:25:45.125 --> 00:25:50.645
Zulma Williams: Not that people came to drop off their clothes. So, yeah, it was a kind of a
00:25:50.645 --> 00:25:56.625
Zulma Williams: cultural shock to move here to Las Vegas from California.
00:25:56.925 --> 00:26:02.125
Zulma Williams: And then many, many, many years later, I went to Pennsylvania.
00:26:02.385 --> 00:26:04.145
Zulma Williams: That's where my best friend is from.
00:26:04.425 --> 00:26:09.325
Zulma Williams: And I went to Pennsylvania and I was like, people are so nice here.
00:26:09.505 --> 00:26:13.365
Zulma Williams: Like, that was another cultural shock because, like, everybody was so nice here.
00:26:14.285 --> 00:26:17.125
Zulma Williams: Like you know people were so nice
00:26:17.125 --> 00:26:20.025
Zulma Williams: over there i was like oh this is what people
00:26:20.025 --> 00:26:23.565
Zulma Williams: say that we are in the west coast because
00:26:23.565 --> 00:26:28.785
Zulma Williams: we are fucking rude in the west coast but it's
00:26:28.785 --> 00:26:31.485
Zulma Williams: a way to like you know everybody does it so
00:26:31.485 --> 00:26:34.225
Zulma Williams: you don't know better like i remember when i went
00:26:34.225 --> 00:26:37.605
Zulma Williams: to parker in sylvania like my friend
00:26:37.605 --> 00:26:44.145
Zulma Williams: took it like i saw for the first time i was like 45 or 46 at the time it was
00:26:44.145 --> 00:26:51.665
Zulma Williams: my first time seeing a fucking apple tree in person right oh my god he has apples
00:26:51.665 --> 00:26:55.965
Zulma Williams: and she was laughing yeah it's a fucking apple tree what is gonna happen and
00:26:55.965 --> 00:26:57.345
Zulma Williams: as you know it's gonna have apples
00:26:58.905 --> 00:27:04.345
Zulma Williams: but i said can i can i grab one so i grab an apple from the fucking apple tree
00:27:04.345 --> 00:27:08.665
Zulma Williams: and then i I look at her, her sister was laughing. She was dying.
00:27:09.185 --> 00:27:14.765
Zulma Williams: The city girl, right? In the country. And so I grabbed the apple and I said, can I eat it?
00:27:14.905 --> 00:27:19.585
Zulma Williams: Like I was afraid to eat the fucking apple from the apple tree.
00:27:20.665 --> 00:27:23.205
Zulma Williams: Because I bought my apples at the supermarket.
00:27:24.425 --> 00:27:26.505
Kevin Lowe: Yes, that is so funny.
00:27:27.125 --> 00:27:31.905
Zulma Williams: But that showed you, you know, like I was like, I was seeing different shades
00:27:31.905 --> 00:27:38.945
Zulma Williams: of green in the trees. And I was like, oh, my God, that is what there are different shades of green.
00:27:39.125 --> 00:27:44.865
Zulma Williams: Because here we have green and beige because, like, the fucking grass is dying.
00:27:44.945 --> 00:27:47.645
Zulma Williams: You know what I mean? Like, you have green and brown.
00:27:47.825 --> 00:27:50.685
Zulma Williams: Like, those are the two fucking colors for the grass.
00:27:51.945 --> 00:27:57.205
Kevin Lowe: Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, you went from basically the desert to this flourishing
00:27:57.205 --> 00:27:59.965
Kevin Lowe: forest of a place to live. Right.
00:28:01.185 --> 00:28:06.005
Zulma Williams: Her sister had an Airbnb on the, you know, by the side of the river.
00:28:06.285 --> 00:28:10.285
Zulma Williams: And I was like, oh, my God, you have natural water here.
00:28:10.585 --> 00:28:14.845
Zulma Williams: Like, we don't know what fucking water is in Nevada. You know what I mean?
00:28:15.085 --> 00:28:17.545
Kevin Lowe: Yes. Yes. Oh, my goodness.
00:28:19.525 --> 00:28:23.545
Zulma Williams: So, yes, it was a cultural shock moving to Las Vegas.
00:28:24.065 --> 00:28:31.205
Kevin Lowe: Yeah, absolutely. So now you told us that you got fired from your job that had you moved to Vegas.
00:28:32.185 --> 00:28:36.425
Kevin Lowe: Now, you'll have to fill in the gaps. Obviously, there's a job in between or something.
00:28:36.585 --> 00:28:40.985
Kevin Lowe: But at some point in time, you actually decided to go back to college, correct?
00:28:41.525 --> 00:28:45.405
Zulma Williams: Yes. So I got fired a year after I moved to Vegas.
00:28:45.405 --> 00:28:51.585
Zulma Williams: And I just, you know, was doing different jobs until I landed a job in an office
00:28:51.585 --> 00:28:55.965
Zulma Williams: and I learned all about accounting and stuff,
00:28:56.325 --> 00:29:01.165
Zulma Williams: which was a huge change because like, oh, my God, I'm in an office.
00:29:01.165 --> 00:29:04.345
Zulma Williams: I'm sitting down at a desk with AC.
00:29:04.585 --> 00:29:08.485
Zulma Williams: You know what I mean? Like I was kind of like moving out in the ladder.
00:29:08.785 --> 00:29:14.765
Zulma Williams: And then I was working in an accounting department of a corporation. I was 42.
00:29:15.405 --> 00:29:19.785
Zulma Williams: At that time. And I started kind of like reflecting about my future.
00:29:19.965 --> 00:29:25.125
Zulma Williams: And I was like, I think I don't want to be doing this for another 25 years.
00:29:25.325 --> 00:29:29.605
Zulma Williams: And that's when I enrolled in college, I always wanted to be a therapist.
00:29:29.905 --> 00:29:35.325
Zulma Williams: Like I have people come to me and tell me like, shit, that they don't call nobody.
00:29:35.545 --> 00:29:38.285
Zulma Williams: And they're like, I'm a product. I never sent this to anybody.
00:29:38.285 --> 00:29:42.785
Zulma Williams: And I was like, I better start fucking charging for this, you know,
00:29:43.005 --> 00:29:46.245
Zulma Williams: charging for that. I need to be licensed.
00:29:46.685 --> 00:29:54.805
Zulma Williams: So I started school at 42, but I never quit my job. So I was working full time in accounting.
00:29:55.005 --> 00:30:01.065
Zulma Williams: And I think that it's important for people to realize that you don't have to
00:30:01.065 --> 00:30:04.645
Zulma Williams: leave everything while you are building your future.
00:30:04.645 --> 00:30:11.825
Zulma Williams: I continued to work in accounting my entire career while I was building the
00:30:11.825 --> 00:30:14.325
Zulma Williams: stepping stones for a different future.
00:30:14.986 --> 00:30:20.246
Zulma Williams: It wasn't like all or nothing. It wasn't like, oh, no, I cannot be doing accounting
00:30:20.246 --> 00:30:22.006
Zulma Williams: if I'm going to be doing social work.
00:30:22.506 --> 00:30:28.826
Zulma Williams: Accounting was what was paying my bills at the time that I was getting myself
00:30:28.826 --> 00:30:31.946
Zulma Williams: ready for a different future as a therapist.
00:30:32.246 --> 00:30:34.726
Zulma Williams: But I was doing both things.
00:30:35.306 --> 00:30:41.926
Zulma Williams: I didn't need to choose. So I graduated at 46 with my Bachelor of Social Work.
00:30:42.186 --> 00:30:48.446
Zulma Williams: I graduated in December, and then I was on track to start my master's in August.
00:30:48.526 --> 00:30:56.006
Zulma Williams: That's where the master's at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas started at that time.
00:30:56.186 --> 00:31:02.906
Zulma Williams: So I graduated in December, and six weeks later, I got diagnosed with breast cancer.
00:31:03.806 --> 00:31:04.406
Kevin Lowe: Oh, wow.
00:31:04.406 --> 00:31:11.266
Zulma Williams: I had my life all planned, but, you know, life is what happens when you have different plans.
00:31:11.446 --> 00:31:16.946
Zulma Williams: So I just put on a stop to my higher education to take care of my health.
00:31:17.126 --> 00:31:23.166
Zulma Williams: I got my surgery here, surgery and radiation here, but I decided to move back
00:31:23.166 --> 00:31:27.006
Zulma Williams: to Argentina at that time to be closer to my family.
00:31:27.406 --> 00:31:32.566
Zulma Williams: And so I moved back. I got diagnosed in February. I had surgery in April,
00:31:33.486 --> 00:31:36.386
Zulma Williams: I did radiation in May, and then I moved.
00:31:36.807 --> 00:31:45.387
Zulma Williams: In june i moved to argentina in june which was another cultural shock because i there after
00:31:46.087 --> 00:31:49.327
Zulma Williams: 14 15 years of living in
00:31:49.327 --> 00:31:53.227
Zulma Williams: America and i was like oh hell
00:31:53.227 --> 00:31:55.927
Zulma Williams: No you know like i remember why if i can move
00:31:55.927 --> 00:31:59.367
Zulma Williams: up uh because like
00:31:59.367 --> 00:32:02.147
Zulma Williams: and my friends were telling me like you need to come down
00:32:02.147 --> 00:32:05.027
Zulma Williams: you're gonna you're going to have a heart attack because i was
00:32:05.027 --> 00:32:08.107
Zulma Williams: so no but but there is a different way of doing things
00:32:08.107 --> 00:32:11.227
Zulma Williams: like that was like another cultural shock
00:32:11.227 --> 00:32:14.487
Zulma Williams: it was there for a year
00:32:14.487 --> 00:32:17.127
Zulma Williams: and a half doing my treatment which at the
00:32:17.127 --> 00:32:20.247
Zulma Williams: beginning was very intensive like i would go it
00:32:20.247 --> 00:32:23.067
Zulma Williams: was a public hospital and i would go to the hospital every
00:32:23.067 --> 00:32:26.427
Zulma Williams: three weeks whatever but then after a
00:32:26.427 --> 00:32:29.847
Zulma Williams: year and a half of me being there my mom
00:32:29.847 --> 00:32:32.687
Zulma Williams: unexpectedly passed away so in
00:32:32.687 --> 00:32:35.367
Zulma Williams: the bigger picture of you know
00:32:35.367 --> 00:32:38.107
Zulma Williams: in the bigger scheme of things I was meant to
00:32:38.107 --> 00:32:41.367
Zulma Williams: be there because she got to see me that I
00:32:41.367 --> 00:32:44.267
Zulma Williams: was doing well it wasn't just
00:32:44.267 --> 00:32:47.467
Zulma Williams: like the phone conversation that oh I'm okay
00:32:47.467 --> 00:32:50.367
Zulma Williams: and then I hang up and I'm fucking dying no she
00:32:50.367 --> 00:32:54.127
Zulma Williams: got to see me that i was okay i was
00:32:54.127 --> 00:32:57.147
Zulma Williams: meant to be there at that time and then
00:32:57.147 --> 00:33:00.487
Zulma Williams: i you know i was in a romantic relationship that
00:33:00.487 --> 00:33:05.027
Zulma Williams: didn't work out and it was like you know what and then the treatment they started
00:33:05.027 --> 00:33:10.927
Zulma Williams: getting like thank god that the treatment was working spoiler alert i survived
00:33:10.927 --> 00:33:17.787
Zulma Williams: i'm here right like so the treatment was working and then i decided like you
00:33:17.787 --> 00:33:19.927
Zulma Williams: know i had it i'm going back to America.
00:33:20.187 --> 00:33:27.467
Zulma Williams: So in February of 2015, that year I was turning 50 in 2015. So I was like,
00:33:27.587 --> 00:33:32.347
Zulma Williams: I'm going to celebrate my 50th birthday in America and I'm going to move back.
00:33:32.447 --> 00:33:37.027
Zulma Williams: So I decided to move back in February
00:33:37.690 --> 00:33:44.350
Zulma Williams: But I had appointments up until the end of April, and I didn't want to lose
00:33:44.350 --> 00:33:48.470
Zulma Williams: those appointments because I didn't know how long it was going to take me to
00:33:48.470 --> 00:33:50.950
Zulma Williams: reestablish care here in America.
00:33:50.950 --> 00:33:55.430
Zulma Williams: So I was like, okay, let me keep my appointments, and I'm going to move there in May.
00:33:55.590 --> 00:34:02.230
Zulma Williams: So I'm praying for a sign, like, okay, Lord, please let me know if this is the
00:34:02.230 --> 00:34:04.250
Zulma Williams: right decision, blah, blah, blah.
00:34:04.250 --> 00:34:10.810
Zulma Williams: And out of the blue, so at the university, I'm sure all universities are the
00:34:10.810 --> 00:34:15.550
Zulma Williams: same, but here at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, when you are a student,
00:34:15.830 --> 00:34:17.890
Zulma Williams: you have a student email, right?
00:34:18.090 --> 00:34:23.730
Zulma Williams: But after you graduate, they deactivate the email after like about two years
00:34:23.730 --> 00:34:25.370
Zulma Williams: or whatever that you graduated.
00:34:25.670 --> 00:34:32.110
Zulma Williams: So this has been three years that I graduated. So my UNLV email was no longer working.
00:34:32.110 --> 00:34:40.230
Zulma Williams: And I get a fucking email on my personal Yahoo account from the university saying,
00:34:40.590 --> 00:34:46.870
Zulma Williams: hey, we have the Advanced Master of Social Work program back. Do you want to enroll?
00:34:47.190 --> 00:34:50.750
Zulma Williams: I'm like, okay, Lauren, I checked. Like, I asked for a sign.
00:34:50.870 --> 00:34:52.350
Zulma Williams: You fucking make a fucking banner.
00:34:54.630 --> 00:35:01.670
Zulma Williams: You know? So I came back in Maine. I started. So it's an advanced program.
00:35:02.110 --> 00:35:04.330
Zulma Williams: So it's very intensive, it's one year.
00:35:04.950 --> 00:35:11.510
Zulma Williams: And, you know, so the classes started in May because it's a summer semester
00:35:11.510 --> 00:35:14.130
Zulma Williams: and then two more semesters and then you are done.
00:35:14.410 --> 00:35:22.390
Zulma Williams: So I came here. I hit the ground running. I was doing school full time. I was working part time.
00:35:22.750 --> 00:35:26.450
Zulma Williams: And a year later, I graduated at 51.
00:35:27.690 --> 00:35:30.350
Zulma Williams: So when you know
00:35:30.350 --> 00:35:35.230
Zulma Williams: like when I have clients that I'm like oh I'm too old you know to go back I'm
00:35:35.230 --> 00:35:40.170
Zulma Williams: like motherfucker I started my masters at 50 and English is not my first language
00:35:40.170 --> 00:35:45.510
Zulma Williams: you're barking at the wrong tree you know what I mean like so if anything cancer
00:35:45.510 --> 00:35:49.550
Zulma Williams: came to show me how bad I wanted to get therapist
00:35:51.090 --> 00:35:55.650
Zulma Williams: yes because it didn't stop me it only delayed
00:35:57.000 --> 00:35:58.700
Kevin Lowe: Yes. Yes.
00:35:59.380 --> 00:36:03.700
Zulma Williams: Nobody would have blamed me if I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not going to go for my master's.
00:36:03.720 --> 00:36:06.600
Zulma Williams: I'm going to go back to accounting and like, oh, yeah, poor you.
00:36:06.760 --> 00:36:08.080
Zulma Williams: You had cancer, blah, blah, blah.
00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:14.840
Zulma Williams: No, I had cancer. I did my treatment and then I continue with my plan.
00:36:15.320 --> 00:36:22.360
Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. I think, I mean, that aspect of your story alone speaks so highly
00:36:22.360 --> 00:36:23.900
Kevin Lowe: of the person that you are.
00:36:23.900 --> 00:36:30.680
Kevin Lowe: The fact of that drive to continue on with your dream, I think, is really remarkable.
00:36:31.080 --> 00:36:31.780
Zulma Williams: Thank you.
00:36:32.200 --> 00:36:32.840
Kevin Lowe: Thank you.
00:36:33.080 --> 00:36:38.780
Zulma Williams: We all have those stories, right? Like, it's like we all go through fucking challenges.
00:36:39.380 --> 00:36:46.200
Kevin Lowe: Yeah, yeah. So when you graduated from this master's, what is your title today?
00:36:46.600 --> 00:36:52.420
Zulma Williams: So I graduated with a master's of social work. And then I wanted to go the clinical
00:36:52.420 --> 00:36:55.800
Zulma Williams: route, which is to do therapy.
00:36:55.880 --> 00:36:59.740
Zulma Williams: It's an internship. It's about two and a half to three years.
00:36:59.780 --> 00:37:06.320
Zulma Williams: You have to do 2,000 hours of direct contact, which is either individual therapy
00:37:06.320 --> 00:37:11.440
Zulma Williams: or couples therapy or family therapy, and then 1,000 hours of other.
00:37:11.440 --> 00:37:21.040
Zulma Williams: And after you get the 3000 hours you take a clinical exam and you become licensed
00:37:21.040 --> 00:37:27.900
Zulma Williams: so my title right now is licensed clinical social worker yeah
00:37:27.900 --> 00:37:34.780
Kevin Lowe: Now zoma i don't want to like say that you're a liar but that is not the title that i heard.
00:37:34.780 --> 00:37:43.820
Zulma Williams: No i'm the sweating therapist i'm a fucking yes i'm a fucking badass thank you for bringing that up
00:37:46.980 --> 00:37:47.640
Zulma Williams: so
00:37:47.640 --> 00:37:52.620
Kevin Lowe: You are the swearing therapist which for any of us who have been listening today
00:37:52.620 --> 00:37:55.460
Kevin Lowe: we can't imagine where that name came from.
00:37:57.080 --> 00:37:59.800
Zulma Williams: Right so but but in order to be
00:37:59.800 --> 00:38:03.760
Zulma Williams: the swearing therapist first i had to become a licensed clinical social person
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:10.020
Zulma Williams: okay when I was doing my internship it's kind of like when you are in your internship
00:38:10.020 --> 00:38:15.540
Zulma Williams: you take whatever whomever client walks through the door right so because that's
00:38:15.540 --> 00:38:19.220
Zulma Williams: how you are you are building up who you are as a clinician
00:38:19.902 --> 00:38:26.162
Zulma Williams: So once I became fully licensed, I was telling, I work in community mental health,
00:38:26.222 --> 00:38:28.162
Zulma Williams: so I will tell the clinical director.
00:38:28.522 --> 00:38:34.302
Zulma Williams: And your internship is another, it's a time where, like, you find out who you
00:38:34.302 --> 00:38:39.122
Zulma Williams: are more comfortable working with, not only in terms of population,
00:38:39.122 --> 00:38:41.982
Zulma Williams: but also in terms of diagnosis.
00:38:42.362 --> 00:38:48.882
Zulma Williams: So I will, when I was fully licensed, now remember, I'm 51 when I started my internship.
00:38:48.882 --> 00:38:54.502
Zulma Williams: So I'm fully licensed at 53 and a half I'm already I've been fucking old for
00:38:54.502 --> 00:38:59.762
Zulma Williams: 20 years at this point so don't fucking tell me I don't know what I want you know what I mean?
00:38:59.922 --> 00:39:04.882
Zulma Williams: It's not like I'm trying to figure it out so I will tell my clinical director
00:39:04.882 --> 00:39:09.922
Zulma Williams: like oh don't give me couples because I don't I don't like working with couples
00:39:09.922 --> 00:39:14.242
Zulma Williams: here comes a couple because they speak Spanish and I'm bilingual in Spanish
00:39:14.242 --> 00:39:17.602
Zulma Williams: bitch which part of them give me a couple didn't you care?
00:39:19.742 --> 00:39:22.722
Zulma Williams: Get more fucking bilingual therapists like
00:39:22.722 --> 00:39:25.762
Zulma Williams: you know what i mean like so so and i
00:39:25.762 --> 00:39:28.982
Zulma Williams: will say like oh okay well don't give me someone dealing
00:39:28.982 --> 00:39:31.742
Zulma Williams: with substance abuse so i that's how i
00:39:31.742 --> 00:39:34.862
Zulma Williams: founded my own practice because i was
00:39:34.862 --> 00:39:38.342
Zulma Williams: like no i want to work with highly motivated
00:39:38.342 --> 00:39:41.622
Zulma Williams: adults here is my ideal client is
00:39:41.622 --> 00:39:44.582
Zulma Williams: a highly motivated adult who is dealing with
00:39:44.582 --> 00:39:48.302
Zulma Williams: anxiety depression and or trauma i'm
00:39:48.302 --> 00:39:51.182
Zulma Williams: your girl but if you have substance abuse if
00:39:51.182 --> 00:39:54.542
Zulma Williams: you have a mood disorder if you have a personality disorder i
00:39:54.542 --> 00:39:57.622
Zulma Williams: will refer you out because that's not
00:39:57.622 --> 00:40:00.462
Zulma Williams: what what i do and it's kind of
00:40:00.462 --> 00:40:03.702
Zulma Williams: like like if you have heart issues you're not
00:40:03.702 --> 00:40:07.282
Zulma Williams: going to go to a fucking gastroenterologist so you're
00:40:07.282 --> 00:40:10.302
Zulma Williams: going to go to a cardiologist if you cannot poop
00:40:10.302 --> 00:40:13.942
Zulma Williams: don't go to the cardiologist go to the gi doctor and
00:40:13.942 --> 00:40:17.202
Zulma Williams: here is the saying like i do a consultation call
00:40:17.202 --> 00:40:20.402
Zulma Williams: so let's say that you want to work with me and you you fill out
00:40:20.402 --> 00:40:23.522
Zulma Williams: the form in my website i will schedule
00:40:23.522 --> 00:40:30.362
Zulma Williams: a time to talk to see number one if we get a good match and number two what
00:40:30.362 --> 00:40:35.822
Zulma Williams: is it that you are that you want out of therapy right because if i if your goals
00:40:35.822 --> 00:40:41.362
Zulma Williams: don't align with the service that i provide i will gladly refer you out to go
00:40:41.362 --> 00:40:42.722
Zulma Williams: through this millions of therapists.
00:40:42.942 --> 00:40:48.562
Zulma Williams: It doesn't have to be me. I'm glad that you want to do therapy so that you can feel better.
00:40:49.150 --> 00:40:52.610
Zulma Williams: But it doesn't have to be with me. Now, in that consultation call,
00:40:53.070 --> 00:40:54.870
Zulma Williams: shit and fuck is going to come out of my mouth.
00:40:55.110 --> 00:41:00.330
Zulma Williams: So if you are not comfortable with me, cousin, I'm not the girl for you.
00:41:00.610 --> 00:41:01.050
Kevin Lowe: Yes.
00:41:01.330 --> 00:41:06.070
Zulma Williams: Which is fine, too, because there are a lot of fucking therapists who don't
00:41:06.070 --> 00:41:09.230
Zulma Williams: cuss. Go to them. And I know a lot of them.
00:41:10.030 --> 00:41:13.650
Zulma Williams: It doesn't have to be me. I don't take it personal.
00:41:14.090 --> 00:41:18.430
Zulma Williams: With me, you either click and you love me or you cannot stand me.
00:41:18.430 --> 00:41:20.490
Zulma Williams: It's not like, oh, I'm not sure about something.
00:41:20.570 --> 00:41:24.310
Zulma Williams: No, you cannot fucking stand the bitch or you click, right?
00:41:24.470 --> 00:41:29.750
Zulma Williams: And if we don't click, the therapeutic relationship is not going to work because
00:41:29.750 --> 00:41:34.330
Zulma Williams: 80% of the success of therapy is a therapeutic relationship.
00:41:34.630 --> 00:41:37.990
Zulma Williams: If we don't click, you're not going to trust me. You're not going to open up.
00:41:38.410 --> 00:41:38.550
Kevin Lowe: Yeah.
00:41:39.030 --> 00:41:44.470
Zulma Williams: So, and then I have clients who they think that they are ready to work because
00:41:44.470 --> 00:41:48.310
Zulma Williams: I'm like, listen, this is your life and life is too short.
00:41:48.430 --> 00:41:51.710
Zulma Williams: I don't have time to be holding your hand. Oh, poor Kevin.
00:41:52.170 --> 00:41:56.290
Zulma Williams: Do you want to change? No, there are other therapies for that.
00:41:56.630 --> 00:42:00.770
Zulma Williams: You come to me when you decide that you really want your life to improve.
00:42:00.950 --> 00:42:04.890
Zulma Williams: And we are going to hit the ground running because I'm not playing.
00:42:05.350 --> 00:42:08.470
Zulma Williams: Right? Like, so you told me you want to, to feel better.
00:42:08.970 --> 00:42:14.270
Zulma Williams: We are going to be working on you feeling better, but I'm not going to do it for you.
00:42:14.430 --> 00:42:17.950
Zulma Williams: I cannot want this more than you want it for yourself.
00:42:18.430 --> 00:42:21.210
Zulma Williams: So you are the driver We are
00:42:21.210 --> 00:42:27.370
Zulma Williams: in a car and you are the driver I'm the GPS I'll give you direction Like I guide
00:42:27.370 --> 00:42:32.730
Zulma Williams: you But you have to give ignition And you have to turn the car on And you need
00:42:32.730 --> 00:42:40.590
Zulma Williams: to drive Otherwise we're in fucking movie Because I'm not going to do it For you Yes
00:42:42.010 --> 00:42:49.330
Kevin Lowe: I love that And I think that is such a Perfect analogy of the GPS.
00:42:50.170 --> 00:42:56.170
Zulma Williams: Yes. Because, so for example, let's say that you want to hang a picture, right?
00:42:56.430 --> 00:42:59.830
Zulma Williams: As a therapist, I will take you to the hardware store.
00:43:00.010 --> 00:43:05.990
Zulma Williams: I will show you what the hammer is, what nails are. I'll show you how to do it.
00:43:06.190 --> 00:43:10.010
Zulma Williams: But then you have to do it yourself because if you don't learn,
00:43:10.550 --> 00:43:14.010
Zulma Williams: then the next time that you need to hang a picture, you're going to need me.
00:43:14.530 --> 00:43:15.870
Kevin Lowe: Yes. Yes.
00:43:15.870 --> 00:43:21.570
Zulma Williams: So my goal, as soon as you walk into my office, to get to the fuck out of my office.
00:43:22.441 --> 00:43:22.801
Kevin Lowe: Yeah.
00:43:23.321 --> 00:43:26.201
Zulma Williams: Because that means that you learn the tools and you can apply it.
00:43:26.261 --> 00:43:27.901
Zulma Williams: Like, listen, I love you.
00:43:28.041 --> 00:43:32.821
Zulma Williams: Have a good life. But I don't want to fucking, I don't want you here for 20 years.
00:43:32.961 --> 00:43:36.741
Zulma Williams: You know what I mean? Like, I think that we all should go to therapy because
00:43:36.741 --> 00:43:40.101
Zulma Williams: we need that, that neutral perspective.
00:43:40.661 --> 00:43:45.801
Zulma Williams: My job as a therapist is to provide you with a different perspective about your situation.
00:43:45.941 --> 00:43:49.641
Zulma Williams: Because when you are in the picture, you cannot see the picture.
00:43:49.641 --> 00:43:56.121
Zulma Williams: But like I have my therapist and I need that neutral perspective.
00:43:56.681 --> 00:44:02.101
Zulma Williams: But if it's something, so let's say it's debilitating anxiety that you are dealing
00:44:02.101 --> 00:44:07.061
Zulma Williams: with or a sexual assault that you are dealing with or, you know,
00:44:07.141 --> 00:44:10.101
Zulma Williams: trauma from a shooting or whatever it might be.
00:44:10.101 --> 00:44:16.421
Zulma Williams: I want to provide you with those tools and help you with that so that doesn't
00:44:16.421 --> 00:44:19.901
Zulma Williams: continue to hinder your life.
00:44:20.221 --> 00:44:27.901
Zulma Williams: So, like, for the acute shit, yes, like, let's work on it. I'll give you a kiss and have a good life.
00:44:28.261 --> 00:44:33.121
Zulma Williams: Now, if you want to have more like that, you know, neutral perspective,
00:44:33.421 --> 00:44:35.741
Zulma Williams: yes, I can do long-term therapy.
00:44:35.741 --> 00:44:39.081
Zulma Williams: But it's not because you still cannot
00:44:39.081 --> 00:44:42.401
Zulma Williams: control your anxiety and you know
00:44:42.401 --> 00:44:45.261
Zulma Williams: it's like no we are going to work on that so you
00:44:45.261 --> 00:44:48.541
Zulma Williams: have all the tools so that you can manage
00:44:48.541 --> 00:44:51.821
Zulma Williams: your own anxiety and you don't need me every
00:44:51.821 --> 00:44:55.181
Zulma Williams: fucking week reminding you like oh
00:44:55.181 --> 00:44:57.961
Zulma Williams: okay take a deep breath and so i give
00:44:57.961 --> 00:45:01.281
Zulma Williams: a lot of homework because i use a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy
00:45:01.281 --> 00:45:04.821
Zulma Williams: so let's say that you get anxious before
00:45:04.821 --> 00:45:09.961
Zulma Williams: doing a podcast so I will say okay take a deep breath we use a grounding technique
00:45:09.961 --> 00:45:13.981
Zulma Williams: blah blah blah okay you come next week and you're like I got so nervous before
00:45:13.981 --> 00:45:17.401
Zulma Williams: doing the podcast okay did you take the deep breath and do the grounding technique
00:45:17.401 --> 00:45:22.121
Zulma Williams: no well guess what your fucking homework is going to be this week to take a
00:45:22.121 --> 00:45:23.461
Zulma Williams: deep breath and do a grounding technique
00:45:25.401 --> 00:45:32.101
Zulma Williams: Because you didn't try it so how do I know if it works if you don't fucking
00:45:32.101 --> 00:45:37.321
Zulma Williams: try it Right now, if you told me I did it and it didn't work out for me Perfect,
00:45:37.641 --> 00:45:42.021
Zulma Williams: I'll give you a different tool But I'm giving you the tool You go to the doctor
00:45:42.021 --> 00:45:45.601
Zulma Williams: and they give me medication And you still feel like shit Did you take it?
00:45:45.681 --> 00:45:48.021
Zulma Williams: No, sir You need to take the medication
00:45:49.034 --> 00:45:53.334
Zulma Williams: But how do you want to know if the meds work if you don't take them?
00:45:53.874 --> 00:45:54.014
Kevin Lowe: Yeah.
00:45:54.334 --> 00:45:57.974
Zulma Williams: Now, if you use the medication and you're like, I cannot handle the side effects,
00:45:58.154 --> 00:46:02.054
Zulma Williams: whatever, or it don't feel better. Okay, let's try with a different one.
00:46:02.494 --> 00:46:05.094
Zulma Williams: And that's what I mean by a highly motivated adult.
00:46:05.594 --> 00:46:08.994
Zulma Williams: Trust me, do it and then tell me this shit doesn't work.
00:46:09.354 --> 00:46:14.114
Zulma Williams: Okay, but don't tell me the hammer on the nail doesn't work or the hammer doesn't
00:46:14.114 --> 00:46:16.034
Zulma Williams: work on the nail if you didn't try it.
00:46:16.294 --> 00:46:21.214
Kevin Lowe: Yeah. Wow. Now, Zoma, when I'm listening to you, I have to wonder,
00:46:21.834 --> 00:46:27.334
Kevin Lowe: given where you are today, I mean, you're in America, you have your own business,
00:46:27.694 --> 00:46:33.154
Kevin Lowe: you've graduated with your master's degree, you've overcome breast cancer, all of these things.
00:46:33.654 --> 00:46:38.934
Kevin Lowe: Could you ever have imagined as a child that you would be at this place in your life?
00:46:39.174 --> 00:46:43.674
Zulma Williams: No. Not as a child, not as a fucking adult, not as a, no.
00:46:44.034 --> 00:46:48.214
Zulma Williams: No. But I don't regret any of my experiences.
00:46:48.654 --> 00:46:49.134
Kevin Lowe: Yeah.
00:46:49.454 --> 00:46:53.554
Zulma Williams: I don't know if I would have a stay in Argentina, my life would be completely different.
00:46:53.674 --> 00:46:58.034
Zulma Williams: I probably wouldn't be alive at this point because, not because of the cancer,
00:46:58.194 --> 00:47:02.914
Zulma Williams: but because I would have had a heart attack because I couldn't handle the stress.
00:47:03.537 --> 00:47:07.077
Zulma Williams: So people are like, oh, you're so strong. You moved to America.
00:47:07.237 --> 00:47:10.257
Zulma Williams: No, the strong ones are my family who remain there.
00:47:10.797 --> 00:47:15.637
Zulma Williams: Those are the strong ones. You know what I mean? Because 30 years later,
00:47:16.037 --> 00:47:21.497
Zulma Williams: I'm on year 29, except the three years I lived there. So let's say 26 years later.
00:47:21.957 --> 00:47:25.637
Zulma Williams: But chronologically, almost 30 years later, they're still dealing with the same
00:47:25.637 --> 00:47:30.177
Zulma Williams: fucking corruption and the same system and the same economic issues.
00:47:30.177 --> 00:47:34.397
Zulma Williams: And I talked to my brother about this, like, you know, because like I asked
00:47:34.397 --> 00:47:36.417
Zulma Williams: him about the situation over there.
00:47:36.617 --> 00:47:40.197
Zulma Williams: And he's like, I don't think you will have survived here.
00:47:40.517 --> 00:47:45.957
Zulma Williams: Like, I think that if you will have to stay here, you wouldn't be having this
00:47:45.957 --> 00:47:49.797
Zulma Williams: conversation because you will have had a stroke or a heart attack or,
00:47:49.957 --> 00:47:55.357
Zulma Williams: you know, like the quality of life is so the life is completely different over there.
00:47:55.357 --> 00:48:01.637
Zulma Williams: But you either adapt to that life or it's going to kill you, literally.
00:48:02.377 --> 00:48:09.737
Zulma Williams: So even with all the challenges here in America and everything, like I love my life here.
00:48:09.957 --> 00:48:16.057
Zulma Williams: Even with the challenges that I experienced, being an immigrant and having an accent.
00:48:16.657 --> 00:48:21.997
Zulma Williams: Like I had people making fun of my accent my entire life in America.
00:48:22.657 --> 00:48:25.457
Zulma Williams: And it was very like bullying me about it
00:48:25.457 --> 00:48:28.217
Zulma Williams: and it's like well uh like i i used to
00:48:28.217 --> 00:48:32.337
Zulma Williams: work with a manager and he would be like no don't you you don't say like this
00:48:32.337 --> 00:48:36.877
Zulma Williams: you said like this until one day i look at him i say can you read a book in
00:48:36.877 --> 00:48:42.477
Zulma Williams: spanish and there was this silence and i said i didn't think so and i turned
00:48:42.477 --> 00:48:46.117
Zulma Williams: around and left and then he never bullied me again
00:48:46.897 --> 00:48:51.677
Zulma Williams: and i know i have a strong accent but when i say fuck do you understand
00:48:53.297 --> 00:48:56.237
Zulma Williams: Right yes and i have this
00:48:56.237 --> 00:48:59.317
Zulma Williams: not the majority of americans like most people
00:48:59.317 --> 00:49:02.357
Zulma Williams: are like oh my god i love your accent and there they make
00:49:02.357 --> 00:49:05.117
Zulma Williams: an effort to and like if you make that for come on
00:49:05.117 --> 00:49:08.357
Zulma Williams: you can understand right which shows
00:49:08.357 --> 00:49:11.617
Zulma Williams: you that and i'm fucking doing podcasts now right
00:49:11.617 --> 00:49:14.697
Zulma Williams: like it's like oh okay like you overcome that
00:49:14.697 --> 00:49:17.797
Zulma Williams: fucking trigger it's like because i
00:49:17.797 --> 00:49:20.777
Zulma Williams: think that what i had to say
00:49:20.777 --> 00:49:24.157
Zulma Williams: is more important than having a
00:49:24.157 --> 00:49:26.937
Zulma Williams: couple of people say no i didn't understand one fucking word
00:49:26.937 --> 00:49:33.077
Zulma Williams: she said okay can you fucking understand me now like i didn't allow am i recovery
00:49:33.077 --> 00:49:39.057
Zulma Williams: people please believe it or not so before the cancer i tried to please everybody
00:49:39.057 --> 00:49:44.417
Zulma Williams: so the cancer came to like to help me reprioritize what was important.
00:49:45.380 --> 00:49:48.540
Zulma Williams: And you know what is important? What makes me happy.
00:49:49.040 --> 00:49:55.600
Zulma Williams: Because if I'm working on my happiness, I'm going to be a better person and
00:49:55.600 --> 00:50:00.800
Zulma Williams: a better friend and a better clinician and a better podcaster and a better everything.
00:50:01.180 --> 00:50:06.840
Zulma Williams: Because I'm working on me. If I try to please you and try to please him and
00:50:06.840 --> 00:50:11.440
Zulma Williams: try to please her, I get lost in all that.
00:50:12.080 --> 00:50:17.760
Zulma Williams: Right? So I said, oh, Kevin likes that, my accent, but John doesn't like my accent.
00:50:17.980 --> 00:50:22.520
Zulma Williams: And Mary, okay, you know what? This is my accent. This is how I talk.
00:50:23.180 --> 00:50:28.540
Zulma Williams: Can I tone it down? Because this is your show and I want to be respectful of that. Absolutely.
00:50:29.180 --> 00:50:35.100
Zulma Williams: Like I had one podcast. It was live and he is a pastor and he said,
00:50:35.240 --> 00:50:38.740
Zulma Williams: you cannot, it has to be clean. I was like, fuck.
00:50:42.600 --> 00:50:45.680
Zulma Williams: Not long as 60 minutes of my life like
00:50:45.680 --> 00:50:48.520
Zulma Williams: please lord don't let me say fuck please lord don't
00:50:48.520 --> 00:50:51.360
Zulma Williams: let me say shit like you know but at the end
00:50:51.360 --> 00:50:54.560
Zulma Williams: of that podcast I realized that I can do it it
00:50:54.560 --> 00:51:01.180
Zulma Williams: takes a lot out of me but I can do it now my one pod my own show is keeping
00:51:01.180 --> 00:51:05.980
Zulma Williams: it real with Sulba the therapist do I cast in my own show you bet your ass I
00:51:05.980 --> 00:51:12.720
Zulma Williams: do because it's mine but when I go into your show when I go into your house. I'm respecting you.
00:51:13.780 --> 00:51:14.380
Kevin Lowe: Yes.
00:51:15.180 --> 00:51:20.600
Zulma Williams: When I came to this country, the main thing that I wanted to do was to learn the language.
00:51:20.600 --> 00:51:27.620
Zulma Williams: When I was able to become a citizen, I did it out of respect and to honor this
00:51:27.620 --> 00:51:33.620
Zulma Williams: country because this country gave me in one third of the time all the opportunities
00:51:33.620 --> 00:51:36.420
Zulma Williams: that my country of birth didn't give.
00:51:37.116 --> 00:51:40.976
Zulma Williams: I didn't become a hardworking person when I moved to America.
00:51:41.336 --> 00:51:46.356
Zulma Williams: I was already hardworking, but over there, you are hardworking to survive.
00:51:46.576 --> 00:51:54.476
Zulma Williams: Yeah. Over there, I am hardworking, and I can rent my own apartment and have my own car.
00:51:54.676 --> 00:52:01.976
Zulma Williams: Like a lot of things that are taken for granted in America are luxuries in other parts.
00:52:02.236 --> 00:52:06.096
Zulma Williams: Well, I was going to say in other parts of the world. Like I fucking traveled the world.
00:52:06.156 --> 00:52:09.876
Zulma Williams: I didn't. but their luxuries in argentina like
00:52:09.876 --> 00:52:13.496
Zulma Williams: i was 31 i was still living with my mom yes because
00:52:13.496 --> 00:52:16.976
Zulma Williams: i didn't the job and even if i had a job i couldn't live
00:52:16.976 --> 00:52:21.916
Zulma Williams: on my own the job could not sustain that i rent an apartment and i have a car
00:52:21.916 --> 00:52:29.536
Zulma Williams: and i leave so i appreciate i think that i have a different appreciation for
00:52:29.536 --> 00:52:36.316
Zulma Williams: things that most people who were born here will take for granted like i had a
00:52:37.216 --> 00:52:39.976
Zulma Williams: Teenager working at the dry cleaners and she got all
00:52:39.976 --> 00:52:42.776
Zulma Williams: offended because her dad bought a car for
00:52:42.776 --> 00:52:45.456
Zulma Williams: her mom's on valentine's day but no not a
00:52:45.456 --> 00:52:48.336
Zulma Williams: car for her and look at her as a bitch i didn't have
00:52:48.336 --> 00:52:52.796
Zulma Williams: a car until i was 33 you know
00:52:52.796 --> 00:52:55.676
Zulma Williams: what i mean but is is she at fault
00:52:55.676 --> 00:52:58.836
Zulma Williams: she doesn't know better yep yep right
00:52:58.836 --> 00:53:01.856
Zulma Williams: like so i think that a lot of like you
00:53:01.856 --> 00:53:05.576
Zulma Williams: know we need to help children understand
00:53:05.576 --> 00:53:08.716
Zulma Williams: like how to appreciate things better but at
00:53:08.716 --> 00:53:11.756
Zulma Williams: the same time we are giving them everything that
00:53:11.756 --> 00:53:14.656
Zulma Williams: we didn't have so of course the kid
00:53:14.656 --> 00:53:17.916
Zulma Williams: is going to expect the fucking car at 16 and
00:53:17.916 --> 00:53:21.056
Zulma Williams: a newer car at 18 and you know
00:53:21.056 --> 00:53:24.516
Zulma Williams: what i mean like i encourage people to travel like go
00:53:24.516 --> 00:53:27.956
Zulma Williams: to different places and see how people
00:53:27.956 --> 00:53:31.436
Zulma Williams: live in in other parts of the world like a poor
00:53:31.436 --> 00:53:36.436
Zulma Williams: person here is different than a poor person in argentina yeah it's different
00:53:36.436 --> 00:53:44.416
Zulma Williams: so it's hard to understand it's hard to comprehend unless you live there and
00:53:44.416 --> 00:53:50.836
Zulma Williams: you're like oh yeah shit like she's right right like so So I have left a lot of things behind,
00:53:50.836 --> 00:53:54.456
Zulma Williams: but I will not change my life.
00:53:54.656 --> 00:53:56.556
Zulma Williams: I don't regret my decisions.
00:53:56.796 --> 00:54:03.116
Zulma Williams: Again, like, you know, me being in Argentina in 2012, that meant that I got
00:54:03.116 --> 00:54:05.656
Zulma Williams: to spend time with my mom before she passed.
00:54:06.176 --> 00:54:10.036
Zulma Williams: Right. So my dad passed in November of 2020.
00:54:10.736 --> 00:54:14.856
Zulma Williams: She died of COVID. And I was here and I couldn't travel over there.
00:54:14.856 --> 00:54:19.296
Zulma Williams: Because even if I went there, I had to quarantine for two weeks, right?
00:54:19.456 --> 00:54:23.836
Zulma Williams: I wasn't able to see him. So the circumstances were completely different.
00:54:24.116 --> 00:54:26.016
Zulma Williams: And we make choices.
00:54:26.436 --> 00:54:33.256
Zulma Williams: When we go to a different culture, a different country, we make choices. But it's kind of like...
00:54:33.830 --> 00:54:37.230
Zulma Williams: The benefits outweigh the risks right
00:54:37.230 --> 00:54:40.370
Zulma Williams: like it's like oh yes i left a lot of things behind
00:54:40.370 --> 00:54:43.610
Zulma Williams: but i have gained a lot of six too
00:54:43.610 --> 00:54:47.470
Zulma Williams: yeah so so you miss birthdays
00:54:47.470 --> 00:54:50.390
Zulma Williams: and weddings and births and
00:54:50.390 --> 00:54:53.590
Zulma Williams: whatever but it's you cannot be like
00:54:53.590 --> 00:54:56.630
Zulma Williams: i you mentioned like oh did you ever
00:54:56.630 --> 00:55:00.150
Zulma Williams: thought about like going back or when
00:55:00.150 --> 00:55:03.990
Zulma Williams: when she got uh hard no because
00:55:03.990 --> 00:55:07.030
Zulma Williams: i didn't even realize that quitting was
00:55:07.030 --> 00:55:11.850
Zulma Williams: an option not with coming to america not with the school not with my treatment
00:55:11.850 --> 00:55:17.850
Zulma Williams: like i i didn't even know that fucking not doing my treatment was an option
00:55:17.850 --> 00:55:24.570
Zulma Williams: so when i first got there lost my first reaction was like, why me? Right?
00:55:25.090 --> 00:55:29.470
Zulma Williams: And then upon reflection, so I don't have kids, but I had my mom,
00:55:29.610 --> 00:55:32.810
Zulma Williams: I had a sister, I have nieces, I have female friends.
00:55:33.250 --> 00:55:38.530
Zulma Williams: So I was reflecting and then I was, would I have preferred that my mom got the
00:55:38.530 --> 00:55:41.250
Zulma Williams: cancer instead of me? And the answer is no.
00:55:41.730 --> 00:55:46.210
Zulma Williams: So I changed the question from why me to why not me?
00:55:48.030 --> 00:55:54.090
Zulma Williams: And then, so I moved away from the victim mentality of why me,
00:55:54.470 --> 00:55:59.490
Zulma Williams: right, to why not me, and then I made a decision.
00:55:59.830 --> 00:56:05.290
Zulma Williams: I can sit in the corner and cry myself waiting to die, or I get up and I fight.
00:56:05.630 --> 00:56:09.410
Zulma Williams: So I chose to get up and fight, right?
00:56:09.410 --> 00:56:15.870
Zulma Williams: So when you made those choices, and for all the listeners,
00:56:16.230 --> 00:56:23.270
Zulma Williams: you have a 100% track record of overcoming every challenge that you were presented
00:56:23.270 --> 00:56:25.250
Zulma Williams: with. How do I know? Because you're here.
00:56:25.450 --> 00:56:29.650
Zulma Williams: So whatever shit happened to you could not take you out.
00:56:30.270 --> 00:56:36.950
Zulma Williams: So why would this challenge be different? So you need to approach this challenge.
00:56:36.950 --> 00:56:42.490
Zulma Williams: And when I say this to my clients, they're like, bitch, you know, but it's true.
00:56:42.650 --> 00:56:48.110
Zulma Williams: Because at the time that you were to sink back to the worst challenge that you
00:56:48.110 --> 00:56:53.530
Zulma Williams: have confronted in your life, and at that time, you had no fucking clue how
00:56:53.530 --> 00:56:54.710
Zulma Williams: you're going to make it tomorrow.
00:56:55.010 --> 00:56:57.770
Zulma Williams: You had no clue how the fuck you were going to make it today.
00:56:58.030 --> 00:57:01.110
Zulma Williams: And yet, you kept pushing through.
00:57:01.730 --> 00:57:08.330
Zulma Williams: So you took yourself out of that shit. but we have a tendency to forget
00:57:09.299 --> 00:57:14.259
Zulma Williams: Right. So you are going through your own challenges. How the fuck do you do
00:57:14.259 --> 00:57:16.299
Zulma Williams: it one fucking day at a time?
00:57:17.119 --> 00:57:17.319
Kevin Lowe: Yeah.
00:57:17.739 --> 00:57:21.939
Zulma Williams: And if one day is too long, you do it one hour at a time. And if one hour is
00:57:21.939 --> 00:57:24.659
Zulma Williams: too long, you keep pushing through 15 minutes at a time.
00:57:24.979 --> 00:57:28.679
Zulma Williams: Because if I ask you, can you push through for 15 minutes?
00:57:29.599 --> 00:57:33.819
Zulma Williams: Can you push through this shit for 15 minutes? Yeah. Well, you don't want to,
00:57:33.899 --> 00:57:35.579
Zulma Williams: but yes, it's manageable. Right.
00:57:35.979 --> 00:57:41.699
Zulma Williams: Four of those make one hour 24 of those make one day seven of those make one
00:57:41.699 --> 00:57:48.179
Zulma Williams: week and so on and so forth so i'm happy to report 12 years of being cancer
00:57:48.179 --> 00:57:51.699
Zulma Williams: free but i achieved that one fucking day at a time
00:57:52.819 --> 00:57:58.739
Zulma Williams: in certain occasions i achieved that 15 fucking minutes at a time because i
00:57:58.739 --> 00:58:02.839
Zulma Williams: don't want to make it sound like oh it's all fucking rainbow rainbows and and
00:58:02.839 --> 00:58:08.239
Zulma Williams: unicorns i had days that i was like I'm on top of the world and I had days that
00:58:08.239 --> 00:58:12.219
Zulma Williams: I don't even know how to fucking get out of bed. I still have those days.
00:58:12.479 --> 00:58:17.999
Zulma Williams: But those days where I don't know how to get out of bed, I push through 15 minutes out of bed.
00:58:19.239 --> 00:58:21.439
Kevin Lowe: Wow. Zoma, you...
00:58:22.731 --> 00:58:27.231
Kevin Lowe: You have so much wisdom to share. The wisdom that you've shared today,
00:58:27.571 --> 00:58:30.591
Kevin Lowe: the insights, it's absolutely amazing.
00:58:30.931 --> 00:58:33.451
Kevin Lowe: I think you are absolutely incredible.
00:58:33.891 --> 00:58:37.931
Kevin Lowe: Thank you. And I mean, I say that in the most sincere way possible.
00:58:38.511 --> 00:58:43.691
Kevin Lowe: Just getting to hear your story, getting to hear all that you just had to share
00:58:43.691 --> 00:58:48.851
Kevin Lowe: today just made an impact on my life and just totally made my day better.
00:58:48.851 --> 00:58:53.731
Kevin Lowe: For the person who's listening, who they are feeling the same and they want
00:58:53.731 --> 00:58:57.751
Kevin Lowe: to be able to stay in touch with you, where can we send them?
00:58:57.871 --> 00:59:01.271
Kevin Lowe: What is the best way that somebody can stay in touch with you?
00:59:01.431 --> 00:59:06.271
Zulma Williams: The best way will be to follow me on Instagram at The Swearing Therapist.
00:59:06.691 --> 00:59:12.791
Zulma Williams: I have a lot of videos there about mental health. So you can follow me on Instagram
00:59:12.791 --> 00:59:17.171
Zulma Williams: at The Swearing Therapist, or you can contact me through my website,
00:59:17.391 --> 00:59:20.851
Zulma Williams: dragonflytherapyservices.net.
00:59:21.291 --> 00:59:25.631
Zulma Williams: I'm only licensed in Nevada, so if you are not a resident of Nevada,
00:59:25.831 --> 00:59:27.691
Zulma Williams: we probably cannot do therapy.
00:59:28.011 --> 00:59:32.811
Zulma Williams: But whatever you want to ask, just send me a message.
00:59:32.991 --> 00:59:38.891
Zulma Williams: And if I cannot help you directly, I will certainly try to provide you with resources. yeah
00:59:38.891 --> 00:59:44.631
Kevin Lowe: Well fantastic I will be sure that all those links are in the episode show notes
00:59:44.631 --> 00:59:51.491
Kevin Lowe: Zoma such a pleasure having you on the podcast thank you so much for sharing your story.
00:59:51.491 --> 00:59:58.311
Zulma Williams: Thank you thank you so much for having me I know your fucking story is so inspiring
00:59:58.311 --> 01:00:06.331
Zulma Williams: so just to close I'd like to say to the listeners if you woke up today that means that your
01:00:06.811 --> 01:00:09.211
Zulma Williams: mission in life is not done.
01:00:09.531 --> 01:00:12.951
Zulma Williams: So keep pushing through 15 minutes at a time.
01:00:18.320 --> 01:00:45.479
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