Oh hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

on this beautiful journey called life, I hope you feel good, I

hope you feel good and your skin good mentally, I hope you feel

good Emotionally, I hope you feel safe

and expansive. And if you're having an off day, or if you're

going through a rough patch, a rough phase in your life, I hope

I can bring you value and comfort and make you feel less

lonely. Today I want to talk about feeling and allowing,

welcoming all your emotions. All too often I hear people say that

they struggle with their emotions being you know, up and

down swings and unpredictable and not pleasant. And that they

wish that they could only have the good juicy feelings in their

lives. And yeah, that inspired me to talk about it today.

Because for the longest time, I also struggled with, you know,

not allowing my emotions to come up and harshly judging them. And

by judging your emotions, by not allowing them to come up by even

suppressing them, you can create huge discomfort within yourself,

even to a point that you become physically sick. So I'm not

making any claims, you know, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a

professional, all I want to do is to support your journey back

home to yourself. But there is studies out there you can do

your own research that say that when you are emotionally

suppressed, when you live and resentful mode, a suppressed

mode, then you are more likely to become sick. And I find that

very beautiful that there's more and more research coming out and

more people are becoming aware of how important it is to live

an expressed life where you are not fearful of the feelings that

you feel. Excuse me. So first, we want to distinguish between

emotions that are you know, fully valid, and have to be

there and have to be have to have a certain degree of

attention. And then we want to distinguish or on the other

side, reflect on emotions that are old wounds that still need

to heal. And we can question them, we can acknowledge them,

but then also not give too much importance to them and kind of,

you know, taught turn the volume down on those kinds of emotions.

But let's first dive in a little deeper on the emotions that are

there and that want to be felt. Let's take an example of a guy

who's attending a party and he knows that his ex girlfriend is

going to be there with her new partner. And he still has

feelings for her. He, you know, got over the relationship. But

it is really hard for him to suppress the emotions of love

and joy, that when he sees her, he literally wants to jump into

her arms and just, you know, be present with her like it used to

be back then this guy is going to attend that party now. And

it's going to try to put our mask, try to suppress his

feelings, try to not have her see him suppressing his

feelings, and it's going to be a whole mess. Because he feels he

has to suppress his feelings and he cannot allow them to be

there. He's going to feel miserable, he's going to act

weirdly behave in a way that is unusual to him. And it's just

going to be an experience of extreme dissonance and non

harmony. If on the other side, he would just admit to himself

that he is a human being that he has feelings and that he totally

accepts himself in that space with these feelings. He could be

more himself, and he would certainly probably come across

as less awkwardly because of not suppressing these feelings,

right, he could see his ex and just smile and love and

gratitude, and maybe walk over to her, maybe give her a hug if

it's accepted and want it and consent for, and maybe even tell

her, Hey, you know, this is, this is hard for me to see you.

And at the same time, so incredibly happy to see you and

to connect with you, maybe over a chat. And this way, he was

able to allow, allow the feelings to be fully there, and

even express them and it takes all that pressure and

awkwardness out of the game. And he behaves in a natural way that

is totally acceptable and not awkward at all. And he doesn't

drive home with this feeling of, oh, this is not cool. And I

feel, you know, slight constipation, or a slight

overwhelm, because I have suppressed my feelings. So this

is one example of where feelings come up that are, you know,

good. But at the same time, we want to suppress them, because

we don't want other people to see how we feel. And it usually

always fires backwards, because emotions are meant to be

expressed are meant to be there in a way that is healthy for us

and others. And suppressing is never a solution at putting on a

mask is never a solution because you're totally exhausting

yourself. And it's just not fun for anybody involved in this way

you can be transparent, you can be honest with yourself and the

person with you. And you just create a healthy balance with

the outside world and your beautiful inside world. Another

example would be that you receive a message from a parent.

And it is, you know, another post another link or YouTube

video that is about a topic that deeply triggers you and that you

don't want to hear about. And that person has the intention to

you know, educate you support you protect you. But you are

receiving this message, and you really don't like to relate to

that person in this way. So, in short, you receive a message and

it triggers you. You become fearful you become resentful,

you become angry, you become really upset in that moment. And

you choose to just delete that message and to cook or wash your

clothing or to go on a walk. But you're not able to process these

emotions because they are so intense, you feel so triggered.

And it's just all so painful. So you're being sucked into that

little rabbit hole of pain and misery. And you're having a hard

time to get out of it again, you start maybe distracting

yourself, or you start talking with people about this and

blaming the other person for making you feel that way. And

it's just a whole mess of blame and shame and pointing the

finger at the other people. Because it was an outside

trigger. Of course it is easy then to point the finger at

other people outside of you, but the trigger is within you. The

trigger the wound everything is within you because if it was a

huge external triggers, and everybody would be running

around screaming. But if you were to show this message to a

friend, for instance, or your spouse and not see any reaction

and they are just saying well, that's just another message.

That's the proof that you could see that it is a wound with the

new is a trigger that sets you off because there's something

within you that needs healing. So in this case, all the emotion

ones that come up, seem very valid to your mind and your ego

because you truly feel this feelings. But your association

with the trigger or better to say your association with this

feeling is wrong. So you feel anger, you feel fear, and

frustration because of an old trigger, but not because of

something happening in front of you to really validate a

reaction like this. It is your nervous system that is tied to

an old story that reacts. And it is not you being confronted with

a situation that can truly make you feel angry and upset, and

frustrated. Please reach out if I'm not making sense here or if

it is difficult to follow. And I will make sure to clarify. So

the first example was a guy that is trying to suppress emotions

that are there in the present moment, and probably also in the

past, and probably also in the future. But he can learn to

express these feelings instead of suppressing them. And maybe,

yeah, he also feels triggered to some degree when he sees his ex.

And the second example is a person who is triggered by an

outside circumstance. And the trigger is so intense the

feelings that are so real that the person thinks that it is

absolutely valid to feel that way. But this person forgets

that it is an old trigger an old wound that hasn't healed yet

that allows these feelings to come up. So in this situation,

then we would ask ourselves, wow, I'm feeling really angry

and feeling extremely frustrated right now. By receiving that

text message, what is it within myself that I still need to

heal? Or I feel abandoned back then when I was six years old, I

got abandoned by my dad. And it was very scary and fearful for

me to go through. And now I'm receiving this message, and it

brings up this old pain. And I'm frustrated and scared? Well, it

has nothing to do with the message that you just received

from your dad or from that parent. It has everything to do

with you now having to heal that wound and finding out what is it

that you need to nurture the child that was wounded back

then.

I know this is all a little bit complex.

And again, I apologize if it is difficult to follow, I'm doing

my best to make it making it very clear. So in that second

scenario, your nervous system is reacting to something old. And

in that moment, if you feel triggered, you need to find out

what it is exactly, that you need to nurture yourself back

into balance, to come back into a state of harmony and love, and

peace. So yeah, those are the emotions that we usually don't

want to fear, right? We don't want to feel emotions of trigger

a fear of anxiety. We don't want anything to trigger us. But a

life without trigger is never ever going to exist. What we can

learn to do is to make sense of our emotions, and to really see

if we are reacting from a place of deep wound itself from the

past. Or if we are feeling these feelings and then express these

feelings in a way that people want and can listen to us, for

people to understand us and learn about us. And then when it

is the scenario number two, to not blame the other person to

make you feel that way but to take ownership over that. And if

it is a person that deeply loves you and wants to understand you,

you can tell them, hey, this message triggered an old wound

that I'm trying to, you know own up to and why Look through, it

is absolutely not your fault, but I'm still sensitive in that

area. And this is how it makes me feel. I'm not blaming you,

I'm not shaming you. I'm owning up to it. I'm trying to make

sense of it, I'm healing this, and it is all good. So,

regulating your own nervous system, making sense of your

emotions, being emotionally attuned to other people, to your

environment, but most especially to yourself, is a tool that will

allow you to enjoy life, on such a deeper level will make you

feel so much more connected to yourself, but also to the other

people around you. And you will just feel more alive and more

yourself because now you don't have to sit and shame, guilt and

anger for all the feelings of you know, passion, sensuality,

pleasure. Attraction. What else do we have? joy, anger,

jealousy, right? The whole spectrum of feelings that we

usually want to hide have in front of people to have that

expressed, takes away the charge and the load. And we'll release

intense, like tensions within your body and your soul. And it

can free you and liberate you. Sorry, I just lost my thought

here for a second because this huge, rainy clouds rolling into

our beautiful valley here and it's just so awesome to watch

nature, do her thing. All right, my love. I'm gonna leave you

with that. As always, if there's any questions, if there's any

feedback, don't hold back and I will be out there very soon

again. And if you feel like engaging in a coaching session

with me, a coaching journey, where I walk beside you, and

support your past back home to your heart. I'd be more than

honored to work with you and to have you in my beautiful yard.

I'm very excited to having a physical location now where I

can receive people and work with people together on their

journey. All right, take really good care of yourself. And until

next time, bye bye