Trish: [00:00:00] Welcome to this episode with me, Trish, your favorite labor nurse and mom of seven. This is a recording from an Instagram live that I did and we're going to be talking all things birth, mindset, and empowerment. I'm going to be talking about pushing power as well because I want you to feel confident and prepared for your birth experience.

Whether you're a first time mama or a seasoned pro like me, you deserve to have a beautiful, calm, in control, and powerful experience. So we're going to be talking about breathing, mindset, and pushing with power, which are three key elements that will transform the way you experience birth. So let's dive in and rock your labor like the incredible lawyer that you are.

Oh, your epidural failed you. I'm so sorry. And we're going to be talking kind of about that a little [00:01:00] bit. Hello from South Africa. Melissa is 40 weeks tomorrow. My puppy is so cute. She's so spoiled, you guys. I don't even want to admit how spoiled. Girl, I make 38 weeks tomorrow. Jay, and tell me how this baby boy turned into a breech position.

No, sir. You are not allowed to do that to your mama. Not okay. Hello. Hello. You pushed him in an hour. Wafa, that is amazing. Okay, you guys, let's go ahead and get started. Y'all ready? We're going to be talking about breathing, mindset, and pushing with power. Hi, Jenny. Oh, that's one of my mamas. She is one of my old school mamas.

Seven days late. That's all right. Do you have any tips to start labor? Yes. Get some nipple stimulation going. Some sex. That will work. Get three membrane sweeps. Okay. So [00:02:00] today we're going to be talking about breathing mindset and pushing with power. These three things might seem really simple. You're probably like, yeah, I want to push with power, but If you don't understand the power of breathing and mindset during pushing during your labor, that can really throw you for a loop.

So we're going to be talking about your toolkit, which is going to include breathing and mindset. Okay, deal. You guys like that? I have seen so many mamas go from feeling out of control to feeling really empowered by learning how to master their breathing and their mindset. Now, if you're a part of my world, which hopefully you are, if you're not in my classes yet, shame on you.

Comment the word class and then come hang out with me inside the classes and most incredible [00:03:00] mama community. In the entire world. I know this for a fact. Okay, so, I've seen so many mamas that have had a completely different type of birth experience because they understood, number one, the power of your mindset, and number two, the power of breathing.

Now, some of you guys have been hanging out a lot with me, and you know that I am completely, 100 percent obsessed with EFT, or tapping. And that is another, Another way to help with your mindset and your breathing control and it's emotional freedom techniques and it's basically finding, like emotionally or physically what you're experiencing and we identify that and then we go through some movements to deal with that.

So if you're in my world, that is going to be a part of your life. Because tapping can completely change your [00:04:00] mindset as well. It is so incredibly powerful, you guys. Okay, so let's start out today. Goodness, my notes just went completely bananas. We do not want that, because you'll know I won't stay on top of it.

So first up, we're going to talk about breathing. So, breathing, going to do some before my appointment. So Jenny is in my community, she's in my birth classes, she's been, it's her second baby with us. And we did some tapping last night on our weekly pregnancy hangout on Zoom. And it really is incredible how many emotions it can release inside of you.

And it's so powerful and it's a simple tool that you don't need to pay someone to do. You can do it yourself. But today we're going to talk about breathing. Breathing is absolutely essential when it comes to having a peaceful labor. The way that you breathe and learning to control your breath can actually reduce the pain of labor and keep you more focused.

[00:05:00] And it's really fascinating because it's so simple and it can decrease your anxiety and have such a huge impact on your birth experience that I feel like breathing is so undervalued And mindset is so undervalued and if you can get those two, controlled, you're going to have such a peaceful birth experience, no matter which way that your experience goes.

Okay, so in early labor, let's talk about early labor. In early labor, it's very simple. Your technique is just slow and controlled and in a rhythm. So early labor are going to look like breathing in through your nose, out through your mouth, nice and easy. So let's practice, okay? Take a breath in and out,

right? So you're sitting at home. Those first labor contractions start. It's early labor. You're still wondering, is this labor? Is this not labor? [00:06:00] The only thing you need to do regulate your breathing. So take it in and out.

So you're going to take it in nice and slow, in through your nose. I want you to tell yourself things like, get air down to the baby. So Manda just joined us. So Manda, take a nice deep breath in through your nose, down to the baby, and then slowly breathe out the stress and anxiety. So the, the key to early labor is slow, controlled, rhythmic breathing.

You take it in to the count of four, out through the count of six to eight. That takes practice, so put your hands on your belly, it's not going to be super easy at first, but once you get that type of breathing down, you can use that for the rest of your stinking life, your parenting career, your birthing, all of it.

Because that will actually decrease your anxiety. Now. We've gone from early labor to active labor. Active labor breathing [00:07:00] becomes more intentional. You're going to be taking nice deep cleansing breaths in, in between the contractions, but during the contractions, where in early labor, we are taking Nice slow in slower out during active labor contractions.

We're going to be doing short focused breaths during the peak of the labor. So you'll start off your contraction with a nice deep cleansing breath. The beginning of the contraction. You might want to do another slow in slower out. breath. But when you get to the peak of the contractions, you might do something more like, Ooh, like a moaning out, right?

So you're controlling that and you're still doing it rhythmically. There's so much power in rhythm, whether it's in your motion your breathing. This will help you channel your [00:08:00] thoughts and your energy where it's needed most, but during transition, all bets are off, right? It's about staying calm. It's about keeping your mindset.

This is when your partner's going to need to refocus you, you're still going to do that deep, J breath, which is what we call it. So in for four, out for six to eight. But you might add in like the horse lips or the vibrating lips and you're gonna do something with a low guttural moan. Again, that relaxes your pelvic floor and it keeps you by, by focusing on breathing rhythms, you're gonna be focusing on that instead of panicking and freaking the freak out.

Because things are going to get intense, but you're almost at the finish line at this point. So really being able to focus on controlling your breathing will give you a way to focus on something other than panicky thoughts. So I always, always, always encourage my moms, and we do a lot of this [00:09:00] in the birth courses.

Again, if you're not in the classes, comment class or go to labor nurse mama.com/calm, CALM. And we want you practicing your breathing techniques before labor starts. You guys hear me? You don't wait until labor to start trying to practice your jay breathing, try to practice your, your vibrating lips or your guttural moans because it's too late.

Once you're in labor, your job is to labor. Now you're going to implement the tools that I taught you. So trust me on this. I want you practicing. Light your candles. I've got my little candle over here. Light your candles. Get your vibe going. You want to have your birth queen vibes going. And then practice J breathing, horse lips, and guttural moans.

Now, no bearing down, okay? We don't do that. Take some time every single day, even if it's a few minutes. And what you're going to find is if you practice the J breathing that we teach inside the [00:10:00] classes, that is going to help you decrease anxiety. So let's say you're like my mama who is seven days overdue.

She's getting a little anxious, right? Well, that J breathing will help you refocus and stop being as anxious. So take some time every day, even if it's just a few minutes. Practice your breathing. And trust me, your body and your mind will thank you later. So now let's talk about part B, which is mindset. I cannot stress to you guys enough, whether it's having a baby, raising a child, being married, building a business, mindset is everything.

What you tell yourself up here is the most powerful influence of how your birth will turn out. So this is going to affect your physical experience. So let's the, tell me if this landed with you guys, okay? Your mental experience, what's going on in your head, [00:11:00] will affect your physical experience during birth.

What you think and what you believe can truly Shape your experience. So if you're waking up every day and you're like, Oh my God, this is, this is gonna be so horrible. What if I can't handle the pain of labor? What if I, I won't know how to breathe? And what if I don't know how to push? And what if I'm a big wuss?

And what if I can't do it without an epidural? All of those things are affecting your experience. So instead, what I do with my students inside of our classes is we start working on mindset the minute you enter my door. The minute you come into the room with me, we are going to work on what you're saying up here, because the most powerful voice in your birth experience is yours, what you're telling yourself, so someone else can tell you all the things, but if you're repeating it and you're telling yourself all these fear based scared anxiety [00:12:00] things, you're creating a fear based anxiety birth.

So what we want to do is we want to flip those fearful thoughts. We want to flip the negativity and we want to replace it with truth, with affirmations. It's so silly that it can be so powerful, but telling yourself every day, I am a birth queen. I am a capable, Mom, I am strong. My body is incredible. My body can birth the baby that I built.

Those things will affect your birth experience in such a powerful, positive way. So positive affirmations, visualizations, grounding exercises, tapping, all of those things, EFT, emotional freedom techniques. We are going to teach you all of those things inside the classes so that you can stay focused on the fact that you are capable and strong.

You have everything you need inside your [00:13:00] incredible body to build a baby, but also to birth your baby. So I want you guys to remind yourself of that. So what can you do to get into the right mindset? Well first, visualize your perfect birth. Visualize the birth that you dream about. Allow yourself to go into that visualization Picture your birth going smoothly.

Picture yourself calmly breathing. Picture yourself working with your body, not against it. Using the tools that Labor Nurse Mama taught you. Feeling empowered. And remind yourself, I am a freaking boss, A double S, biatch. I can birth this baby. Probably gonna have to delete all of that. But remind yourself, Of the things that resonate with you, that make you feel strong and powerful.

Do not let those negative voices in. Don't let the negative horror birth stories in. There's a difference between hearing someone's birth that may not have gone perfectly. [00:14:00] And acknowledging that there's times we have to pivot inside of our birth experience. That's different than the random lady at the grocery store telling you how horrible her birth was and da da da da.

And you know darn well the root of her horror birth story was a lack of education. A lack of understanding of how to work with her body instead of against it. So, I want you guys to remind yourself. I like my body. I trust my body. I am strong. Each contraction will bring me closer to my sweet little baby.

These small mindset shifts have a huge impact, especially when labor throws you a little bit of a curveball. So mindset isn't just about thinking positive thoughts, it's about preparing for unexpected and knowing, knowing deep in your soul that no matter how your birth unfolds, even if you have to process, you know, the, the emotions of like, shoot, I didn't want that to happen.

I didn't want to do this. You're [00:15:00] capable of navigating it, knowing that you were in control. Okay. Now, let's briefly talk about pushing. Here's the thing, pushing is not just about being strong and powerful. It's about working with your body. Understanding how to work with your pelvis.

Understanding how to move your legs, how to move your, your hips. Another thing that's really powerful to understand is that you're not using your pelvic floor to push. You have to learn how to relax your pelvic floor. So your pelvic floor is like a lock, right? And you have to learn how to loosen the lock, open the lock.

When it's time to push, your contractions will be doing most of the heavy lifting per se. Your job is to work with the contractions, to work with your body, and to allow your body to relax and open. It's contrary to what we tell ourselves. We think we have to find all this strength and ability, but it's really a combination of [00:16:00] relaxing and opening.

And this is where your breath will come back into control. So as your contractions are building, we do our deep breath again. And then. There's different things and I teach this more inside the classes. So again, comment class if you want to know all the things or go to labor nursemama. com forward slash calm and We'll we'll walk you through exactly how to Hold your breath when you need to hold your breath or not hold your breath when you don't need to hold your breath because There's a combo like I people ask me.

Do you believe in holding your breath during pushing or not? It's really about you and finding what works for you. So we teach you all the methods and then there's a hybrid There's a hybrid method between holding your breath and not holding your breath but it's really about learning to listen to your body and understanding your body your mindset your breath work and And what feels right to you and what is working, you just sync with your body, you just sync with your [00:17:00] body and let your contraction guide you.

When you do that, you're pushing will become so much easier and so much more effective. Some of the common mistakes that I see or have seen over 16 years of labor and delivery experience is that either women are like so anxious that they're not listening, they're just like pushing. And so, Not listening to me.

I'm not talking about listening to me. I'm talking about listening to your body when you work with the contraction. It's like having a strong man to lift up the barbell right instead of having to do it yourself. So you don't have to force it. You just learn to lean into what your body is doing. It's really about timing and intention and then knowing how to Open your body knowing how to relax your pelvic floor.

Work with your breath, stay calm, listen to your body. And when you do that the right way, you are birthing with purpose and power instead of working against it. Things that work against pushing effectively are like when you're forced to lay on your back or you're forced to put your legs [00:18:00] up in stirrups.

If that's not what like. When I had all my babies, they were all unmedicated, at the very last minute I would fall back onto a wonky side back position. That's what my body was telling me to do, not someone else. Now my first baby, I pushed in the stirrups, it was, you know, textbook. And I had an episiotomy, I had a tear, I had to use a vacuum.

Hello? Had I been let to push with my body instead of against my body, probably wouldn't have experienced all those things. So, remember, when it comes to your birth experience, some of the most powerful things, no, the most powerful things you can do, have a stellar mindset, learn how to breathe, I know that sounds weird, right?

But it's true. And then learn how to work with your body and not against it. So I hope that helped you guys because here's the thing. You can control those things. And I know everyone is telling you, you can't control birth. No, you can't. You're right. But there are things you can [00:19:00] control. You can control what happens up here.

You can control your breathing. You can stay grounded and focused and powerful when it matters. Most and I you know, I always say this this birth experience. This happens one time for you guys You'll remember it forever for you and this baby one time So why not be the one who is navigating and controlling all the decisions that is like that's my jam I want you guys to be the one who's In control who is the birth queen?

All right, you guys. I hope you have an amazing afternoon. I hope that you guys are all doing well. I love y'all if you're not in the classes yet comment class all right, you guys have an amazing afternoon.

Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that this episode left you feeling more empowered. More prepared for your beautiful birth. Remember, it's all about breathing with [00:20:00] intention, focusing your mindset, pushing with your power and using your education. You've got this mama. If you love this episode, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and don't forget to join me again next Friday.

Bye for now.