There's one invisible thing that I see in almost every stalled labor, and we're not talking about the baby.

'cause that can also stall your labor.

It's not your cervix, it's.

Fear.

Fear floods.

Your body with adrenaline and adrenaline can literally shut down the special hormone that gets your uterus doing its job.

So I'm going to teach you the three fear triggers, that slow labor, the exact 62nd routine I use with my patients and my students to calm their bodies.

In the one phrase you can say to your partner or provider.

That changes everything.

Even if you're a totally worrywart, freakout person.

Even if your care team has already floated an induction or Pitocin, don't worry you have options.

I am Trish Ware Labor Nurse Mama.

I was a high risk labor nurse for 16 years and a mom of seven.

I have watched fear turn.

Very clear cut, straightforward birth into a long, painful cascade, and I've watched the exact same mama flip it and have a calm fast birth.

When I've come into the unit and I get report on a patient and they're like, this isn't happening, that isn't happening, and we're gonna have to go back and we probably need to do a C-section.

She won't take Pitocin.

Her labor is stalled.

I always check on this first.

So stay with.

Your body runs labor on hormones.

The main player in this hormone concoction is oxytocin, the love hormone.

Oxytocin makes your uterus tighten up, squeeze those great contractions, which push the baby down.

Which then opens the cervix and it gives you that surge of power when it's time to push.

So I know a lot of you guys are like, how am I gonna have energy to push?

It's oxytocin when your brain thinks you are in danger, it dumps adrenaline and other stress hormones into your bloodstream and adrenaline.

Is like the arch enemy of oxytocin and tells your body, girl, we are in fight or flight.

Shut down anything that's non-essential.

Shut down the non-essential systems.

And that includes, guess what?

Oxytocin, which helps your labor efficiently.

So fear can physically slow down or stop your labor, and that is not woo woo.

This is physiology.

I promised three fear triggers and a bedside script you can actually use the third trigger is the one most providers miss.

And it's the one that when we fix it flips labor back into a fast progress.

And I'll show you the exact words to say, 'cause I know y'all are always worried about being that patient and getting steamrolled in the moment.

So don't skip ahead because that line matters and we need to get there.

So.

Trigger number one is the fear of pain, and this begins right when you get pregnant, and it begins with the story that you're telling yourself before labor starts.

And a lot of you guys are catastrophizing, and that looks like this is gonna be horrible.

This is gonna be unbearable.

Did you see Rachel in friends?

She was pulling her hair out and yelling at everyone.

All rip, all fail.

What if I can't push?

And your brain primes your nervous system with that script.

And when those first contractions hit.

Your body follows what you've been rehearsing.

I once had a mama who watched an hour birth blog the night before coming in, and she was freaked out y'all, she knew she was being induced in the morning.

She was actually really good, like a great induction.

She had a high bishop score, but when she came in, because she watched that horror birth vlog, her body went into protective mode and her contractions were patchy of best, and she was asking for meds early and we began to slow down.

I remember I went into her room and I sat down next to her and I held her hand.

We began to work on reframing.

We walked through why that vlog had nothing to do with her birth and how beautifully prepared her body was and how amazingly strong she was.

We practiced a short breathing routine.

And let me tell you, just by flipping her mindset, within hours, she was active labor and in control, and she never even got an epidural.

That is the proof that changing the story matters.

So here's what I want you guys to do.

I want you to do this now.

So stop what you're doing.

Whether you're watching the video or you're listening to the podcast, I want you to practice a 62nd reframe breath.

So what you're gonna do is you're gonna take an inhale for four, hold it for one, and exhale slowly for six.

Now, you may have to practice to get here, but this right here, y'all, I really hope you join my birth classes.

I hope you come to Fearless Birth Experience.

I hope you get into the inside of my community because I love mindset.

It is 90% of your birth.

Put this right here.

Is one of my secret sauces that I'm giving away to you for free.

So I call this my down and out breathe, right?

Because not only can we bring baby down and out, but we can bring the fear down and out.

We can bring the anxiety down and out.

We can bring the truth down and through you and out with your breath.

Okay?

So you inhale for four.

You hold for one and you exhale for six.

So the point is bring it in shorter.

Hold it for one, bring it out longer.

While thinking or even trying to say out loud, this one tiny truth.

This can change everything about your birth.

My body knows how to birth this baby, not the doctor, not Trish, your labor nurse, not your random labor nurse, but your body.

So I want you to do this three times a day starting.

Now, and it helps retrain your nervous system off of that catastrophic script that you tell yourself and your body begins to prime for confidence instead of preparing for fear mode.

Hopefully that makes sense.

Okay.

Trigger number two.

Is your environment, specifically the tension you pick up from the people in your room.

And this is why it is so freaking important to make sure that the people who are allowed into your birth room.

Now y'all, I'm saying this with so much emotion right now 'cause my baby girl is pregnant and she is said that mama could be there, but she could always change her mind.

I hope she doesn't.

But she has that right?

And it's not.

On her to deal with my emotions.

It's on her to make sure that the room is what she needs.

Humans share emotions through mirror neurons.

And this is, it's so fascinating, y'all, y'all all know that I am laying in bed every night reading fairy smut and Steve is over there reading like psychology and mindset and you know, what are some of the other things?

Some crazy stuff y'all, but.

What he has really got me into is the, the science behind your mindset.

So humans share emotions through mirror neurons.

If the person in the room is tense, the room gets tense.

If your provider acts rushed, your body thinks something is wrong and dumps adrenaline.

I have seen mamas like in these calm rooms and others in these frantic rooms where everything tightens and stalls.

One time during a labor I was on and we had nurses rushing and whispering and moving equipment, and my patient began to like stall at six centimeters for hours and I finally was like, enough.

No one else is coming in the room lest I approve.

Like I came out big boss Trish, right?

I dimmed her lights.

I closed her door and I told the team step the stink back.

I had her get on her hands and knees.

It was so sweet.

'cause she had some affirmation.

She hadn't put 'em up.

So we put 'em up, we had the lights dim, we had music playing.

It was so amazing.

Like this is one of my favorite music.

It was the president of France, his wife is musician, and she was playing her music.

I'll never forget this.

So she's on her hands and knees and within 30 minutes we got that baby to like a eight, eight or nine, and was descending.

And she was calm and she was singing and we were laughing.

I call those laughing births.

I love them because that releases more oxytocin.

And the secret weapon here that you have to know about is the people in your room.

So your partner for one.

Your partner has to be your guard dog.

So for partners, I want you, if they're not listening right now, pause this or get them or send them this link, right?

And I want your partner to use this script.

So you're starting to panic a little.

You're starting to freak out.

Number one, your partner can say, Hey, to your nurse, Hey to your doctor, we need this room to be calm.

I need everyone that's not essential to step out.

And then he or she can look in your eyes and say, babe, I'm here.

Let's take some breaths with me and coach you on doing the down and out.

Inhale four.

Hold for one.

Exhale six.

And repeat with me.

Your body is powerful.

We are doing this, and as you do the script, put a hand on her sacrum or hip and mirror her breath with her.

Get right in her face.

This is when you are like coach, right?

You think of that, that sports coach, like you don't have to be mean or rude, but.

If you're supporting from the outside, step back and be quiet.

Support is not like constantly giving input.

It's creating a safety in the environment and simple shifts can change the room chemistry and cut out the adrenaline.

You are her guard dog.

Okay.

The third trigger is the one that changes everything.

And I know y'all, y'all are all afraid of losing control.

This is why this is one of my classes during fearless birth experience, my free five day challenge, because when a mama feels like her birth is being managed, instead of her leading it, her fear will spike.

That's, you know, routine cervical checks, nurses in and out, the tech coming in and out, people coming in suddenly talking about inductions or, or pressure to change positions because someone else needs you.

Like I tell my students all the time, nothing out of convenience or curiosity unless it's for you.

So what that means is if it's convenient for you to be in a certain position, 'cause it's easier for them.

No, sorry.

Not gonna happen because these things make you feel small and out of control and your body interprets that as danger.

And just like a mama bear who is in labor in the wild, if she senses danger, her body slows down and stops her labor.

Well, here's the thing, y'all, we don't know the difference between like danger, someone's gonna kill me and danger.

Someone's being a jerk to me and.

Bullying me so your body interprets it as danger.

And I've seen perfectly progressing labor stall when a provider starts coming in and being like, you know, you've been given it a good shot and I think it's time that we need to like speed this up or, or we need to talk about c-sections and comments that make you feel out of your control.

And it's not that.

The tool is wrong.

It's the way it's introduced.

That's the nuance nobody tells you.

When a provider proposes, like speeding things up, try this exact line.

I want you to put your hand up and say, can we pause for a minute?

I want to understand why and what waiting looks like.

A pause is powerful in all areas of life, girl, but for sure labor.

It buys you time to get the information to breathe, to check your feelings, and to make an informed.

Choice.

Remember, you can refuse anything, but should you, so I always want you to ask for a pause so that you can get your bearings like you're in labor and your only job during labor is to labor.

So you don't wanna like start freaking out because they're pressuring you or you're, you feel pressured.

And sometimes maybe it is an emergent situation.

So this is why inside the classes, I teach you how to read the room.

But the thing that I want you to do is I want you to ask for a pause.

And that helps you take a minute.

You can even ask everyone to step out and spend some time with your partner.

Now let me give you the practical tool that ties all of this together, the 62nd calm sequence.

This is nurse tested labor, nurse trauma tested and partner friendly.

I want you to do it with me now so you can practice it before labor starts and you're in the thick of contractions.

So first set the space.

I want you to dim the lights.

I want you to put on your soft labor playlist or noise suppression or whatever.

Remove everyone from the room.

So this is not when your toddler's running around or your mother-in-law's in the room yapping, right?

I want you to it to be dim and quiet.

Like set the scene and say aloud, we are making this a calm zone.

This is five seconds, but it signals safety to your brain, and we're gonna practice it before labor starts.

Second, you're gonna anchor a touch.

That is your partner.

Placing one hand on your sacrum, one hand over your heart, one hand on your belly, somewhere that that steady, gentle pressure tells your nervous system you're safe.

And do this for about 10 seconds.

Third, the down and out the reframe breath.

Inhale.

Four.

Hold for one.

Exhale for six.

So that looks like this.

Okay.

Inhale.

1, 2, 3. Four.

So you're gonna take it in like this in 1, 2, 3, 4.

Hold it one.

Now breathe it out and you're gonna do it for six, just like this.

So you exhale 1, 2, 3, 4.

Five, six.

Now, if you're listening to podcasts like I do, or you're watching this on two x, this is when you're gonna put it back to normal speed.

Okay?

And I want you to repeat that three times, I want you to say out loud, in between each down and out breath.

My body knows how to birth this baby on each exhale.

As soon as you exhale, my body knows how to birth this baby, and I want you to do it with emotion and emphasis, and I want you to breathe together.

This lowers your heart rate and shifts your nervous system out of fight or flight.

In fact, you can do the down and out anytime you're anxious or worried.

This is perfect.

Now, fourth, the ground phrase I want you to say out loud again.

My body knows how to birth this baby.

I am powerful.

That's your ground phrase.

I am powerful and your partner needs to come back with conviction.

Say, yes you are, and hearing it from someone you trust doubles its effect.

The next is a position shift.

I want you to do slow sway, swaying your hips, hands, and knees, or a supported squat for one minute.

The movement resets your fear, it helps move on the contractions, and it helps.

The baby find a better position.

So you're gonna do this whole sequence whenever you feel anxiety rising or panic, or you can even do it throughout your labor.

The breathing lowers the heart rate.

The touch signals safety and the phrase rewires that catastrophic feelings or thoughts and the movement helps the baby.

And labor mechanics.

So if you want a one page cheat sheet.

Of this routine and the scripts below, I want you to go to labor nurse mama.com/.

Labor routine.

Okay, labor routine.

And we'll put the link in the show notes.

Seriously, have your partner practice this now, and I will give you some exact scripts to use in real time if you jump inside of our community by joining our birth classes.

When your partner needs to calm the room, they should say, Hey team, slow down for a minute.

We're gonna do our 62nd calm reset, and we'll check in with you after.

When your providers suggest induction or augmentation early, say, can we pause so I can understand why and what waiting looks like?

That's your phrase to write that down.

When a nurse wants frequent cervical checks, I want you to be like, is this necessary?

Do we really need this?

And hopefully you've already told them You don't want routine cervical checks.

Say these lines with firm calm, you don't have to get emotional.

You get to choose and you're not being difficult, you're being informed, and I want you to be very, very clear about this.

This is not anti medical.

Y'all know I'm crunchy with a side of medical emergency, adrenaline responses, save lives.

But if you.

Your, you know, if your baby is showing distress, yes, this is a clear medical indication that we need to do something now, but if not, if there's time to wait, I want you to wait.

So these tools are for reducing unnecessary adrenaline cascades of interventions that are, you know.

Seemingly unavoidable, but we can actually avoid them.

And the more interventions, the more interventions.

So it's a cascade.

If something medically concerning comes up, this is where reading the room and asking questions is so important.

These techniques are about giving you tools.

To advocate and calm your body when it's safe to do so.

Now, some of you guys are thinking like, Trish, what if I have white coat syndrome?

This won't magically fix that.

Great and honest question.

If you have diagnosed anxiety disorder, pair these tools with your mental health plan and your doctor's guidance.

These are acute.

Nervous system interventions and they help in the moment and they reduce spikes, but they're not a substitute for like your medical care that you may have been receiving long term or that you maybe need more.

So these are a part of your birth toolkit.

Here's a practical hospital tip that you may not have thought of that will help with your anxiety as well.

We like to do continuous fetal monitoring and that can make you feel trapped and that can also increase adrenaline.

So talk to your doctor ahead of time about intermittent monitoring or wireless.

If it's safe for you, and many providers will agree because it's very reasonable to allow you to move.

So that is one thing.

Changing the monitoring plan can reduce that feeling of feeling, you know, trapped in the bed.

Let me tell you about one of my students, Jenna, who had a previous traumatic birth, and she like was so afraid.

She went in at six millimeters.

She had her labor bat signal going, but she was stuck.

So she's, you know, communicating with me and my doula and the labor bat signal, and her team wanted to start Pitocin, so we recommended that she pause.

As for intermittent monitoring, she performed her calm sequence.

She got repositioned and she brought the adrenaline down and the oxytocin up.

And an hour later she was eight centimeters total.

Actively were like in transition.

She ended up pushing effectively and she had a very calm birth and she said afterwards, like, I felt like a bad.

AWS and the queen of my birth, and that's what I want for you from fearful.

To empower decision maker and, and if your partner is worried, give them the script.

Let them practice so that this is why if you join our calm labor birth bundle, you hit all of my classes, including my birth coach class for free, and it's about to go on sale.

It's on sale October.

No.

Yes, October 1st to the eighth where you can save a hundred dollars.

Use the code birth queen.

And if you're listening to this later, you can always send us a message and ask if it's the the sale.

We do the sale every eight to 10 weeks, something like that.

So your partner can begin to practice lines breathing with you, doing some touch methods that will calm you, like grounding touch and saying calm phrases aloud.

And if they see the staff rushing, just be like, chill.

We're pausing for a moment and you can.

Actually be a part of how your birth plays out.

We want appropriate adrenaline responses when they're needed, but not a chronic fight or flight state where your labor down and stops.

That is not what we want at all.

So I want you to begin to practice your call method and remember the most powerful.

Line that you can say is, can we pause for a minute?

I want to understand why and what waiting looks like.

I want you to drill that in, use it.

It centers you.

It slows the room, and it shifts you back into that queen mode.

The decision mode.

Remember, you can refuse anything, but should you, and that's the question I teach, right?

Pause, ask, and then choose if you want the printable, calm, cheat sheet.

Down below, click the link and you can use it now if you have white coat syndrome, you can use it with family or whenever you're feeling anxious, and it'll be in the show notes.

You are the CEO, the queen, the boss of your birth.

Nothing out of convenience or curiosity except your own.

Use the breath.

Use the scripts.

Reclaim the room.

Practice the 62nd calm sequence with your partner.

Set the space anchoring, touch reframing, breath grounding, phrase, position shift.

Repeat it until it becomes.

Just have it so when you're in labor, you can use it.

If this helped you do this one thing, hit subscribe so you don't miss the next video or podcast where I'm gonna teach you the five positions that help baby rotate when moms stall at six centimeters, the physical counterpart to this calming work.

This plays in with this episode.

Share this with one mama who's terrified right now.

Reminder, she has choices and that fear is not her destiny for her birth.

Remember, always talk with your provider and your care team about your specific situation.

As always, thank you so much for being here again.

Hit subscribe, turn on notifications, and I will see you again next week.

Bye for now.