1 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,090 Lauren: Welcome to this week's episode, where we're continuing 2 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,940 the conversation about life skills your high schoolers need 3 00:00:05,970 --> 00:00:10,110 before they graduate. This is coming from a place of practical 4 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:14,280 wisdom and a dream counseling program. You're noticing what 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,740 your students need, or you're probably doing needs 6 00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:19,980 assessments, which if you're not I can link to past episode about 7 00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:23,670 that, but you are the one who is determining what the students on 8 00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:27,420 your caseload in your school actually need. But I'm here just 9 00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:29,730 talking about some general life skills that I've noticed are 10 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:33,360 helpful as my students launch out of my school and into the, 11 00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:37,560 quote, real world, or just things that I have reflected 12 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,680 back on that I wish I had a greater understanding of when I 13 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:41,640 came out of high school. 14 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,520 So if you haven't listened to the first episode of this series 15 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,190 about money management and budgeting, head back to last 16 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:50,220 week's episode and then come back here to this week's 17 00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:53,610 episode. It truly doesn't matter what order you listen to, but 18 00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:56,130 you know, if you're gonna binge them all, why don't you just go 19 00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:58,110 in order? That's my suggestion, at least. 20 00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:01,350 Before we get to the episode. I told you last week that sharing 21 00:01:01,350 --> 00:01:05,790 the episode with a friend is a truly impactful way that you can 22 00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:08,640 help me get this High School Counseling Conversations podcast 23 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,460 show in the air pods of more high school counselors just like 24 00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:14,490 you. I want every high school counselor to know about it, so 25 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:18,720 that is where you come in. You are a listener who is dedicated, 26 00:01:18,750 --> 00:01:21,690 and I want you to share this show with a friend. Leave a 27 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,310 review if it's been helpful for you. 28 00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:26,460 Let's read a review from a listener to kick off this 29 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:29,970 episode, just like we did last week. This one is from opinion 30 00:01:29,970 --> 00:01:34,920 lady 25, love that username. The subject of this review is called 31 00:01:34,950 --> 00:01:38,850 a must listen. This five star review says, "It's clear that 32 00:01:38,850 --> 00:01:41,340 Lauren wants school counselors to thrive in their role and be 33 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:44,070 equipped to do the best work they can. I appreciate that 34 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:47,220 Lauren ensures her episodes are educational and applicable to 35 00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:50,670 her audience. I've learned so much from listening." Well thank 36 00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:53,940 you for that very positive opinion, opinion, lady, I 37 00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:58,050 appreciate it, and I'm happy to read wonderful five star reviews 38 00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:01,620 like this on air. So go ahead and leave your review after 39 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:02,880 listening to this week's episode. 40 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:10,110 You got into this profession to make a difference in your 41 00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:13,230 students' lives, but you're spread thin by all the things 42 00:02:13,230 --> 00:02:16,410 that keep getting added to your to do list. I can't create more 43 00:02:16,410 --> 00:02:19,020 hours in the day, but I can invite you into my counselor 44 00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:22,260 clique, where you'll finally catch your breath. Come with me 45 00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:25,380 as we unpack creative ideas and effective strategies that'll 46 00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:28,200 help you be the counselor who leaves a lifelong impact on your 47 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,350 students. I'm Lauren Tingle, your high school counseling hype 48 00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:34,410 girl, here to help you energize your school counseling program 49 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,660 and remind you of how much you love your job. 50 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:47,750 I think when I set out to do this series, I was picturing in 51 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,060 my mind just talking to seniors because they're about to 52 00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:52,880 graduate. That's what time of the year it is. But I truly 53 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,790 think that these skills are valuable at every grade level, 54 00:02:55,820 --> 00:03:00,500 and our students probably stand to need the information over and 55 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:04,640 over again, like they have to hear it over and over to be able 56 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,910 to put it into practice in their lives. I think if I were looking 57 00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:10,880 at a comprehensive program, a high school counseling program, 58 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:14,120 and trying to plan out something intentional over those four 59 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,600 years, I'd sit with my team, if I had team. I've always had a 60 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,780 team, so that's why I assume you do too, but I know not everyone 61 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:24,410 does. And I decide on some skills that would be important 62 00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:27,410 based on the needs of my school, and then plan out what I wanted 63 00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:28,690 Life skill number two is time management. Can you think of 64 00:03:27,410 --> 00:03:29,330 to do long term to make that happen. 65 00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:31,450 anyone who wouldn't benefit from some more help with time 66 00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:34,960 management and self advocacy around this topic? There are 67 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,450 students who are going to need more intentional individual help 68 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,180 with this, but it's a skill that you can get out in front of a 69 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:43,990 lot of your students at once to educate them. When your students 70 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,900 leave your halls, you'll want them to be independent and be 71 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,510 able to advocate for themselves, and so that's why we're focusing 72 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,280 on these life skills. 73 00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:55,720 And this one specifically, because it relates to a couple 74 00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:00,190 different ASCA mindsets and behaviors, specifically BSMS1, 75 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,890 and that's the behavior standard that addresses the self 76 00:04:02,890 --> 00:04:05,740 management skill of responsibility for self and 77 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:09,850 actions. And time management is definitely a skill that proves 78 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,090 that someone is responsible once they get on track to mastering 79 00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:16,540 it. Another mindset and behavior that's addressed when we help 80 00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:19,600 students with their time management is BSMS2, it's 81 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,540 literally the next one down in the same column of the mindsets 82 00:04:22,540 --> 00:04:26,380 and behaviors, which is self discipline and self control. And 83 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:29,800 maybe those words sound like kind of aggressive and rigid. I 84 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:33,190 don't know. It's just like the vibe they give off, but I think 85 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,950 someone who can show their ability to manage their time 86 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,360 shows that they're disciplined. 87 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,370 If you're anything like me, sometimes you would like to 88 00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:40,720 spend your time doing something different from the thing that 89 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:47,350 you need to spend your time doing. So we want to spend our 90 00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:52,570 time doing one thing, but there are things that we have to get 91 00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:56,230 done. So mastering this to a level of self control without 92 00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:59,980 others having to do it for you is a level of mastery that we 93 00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:03,040 want our students to get to to facilitate their independence 94 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,360 before they leave us. So for them to be able to manage with 95 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:11,800 self control and self discipline their own time, I think, is a 96 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,290 huge and meaningful life skill. 97 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,200 Now, I know we all have our own personal ways to tackle time 98 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:21,140 management, and for some of us, it comes easier than others. So 99 00:05:21,140 --> 00:05:23,390 I want us to keep a mindset of grace as we teach time 100 00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,790 management to students. For some of our students, it's going to 101 00:05:25,790 --> 00:05:28,730 be really hard. For some of us, it's really hard. Not everyone 102 00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:32,000 will fall into a cookie cutter way that they process this and 103 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,600 find success immediately. Personality types, level of 104 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:39,800 overwhelm, previous practice and expectations from others, like, 105 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,890 was this expected in your family, maturity and 106 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:45,770 responsibility levels, all of these will affect how a student 107 00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:48,770 takes your leadership on this topic and runs with it, or 108 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,930 doesn't and does nothing with it. 109 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,420 For all of them, though, I think when you're teaching time 110 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:56,810 management, the best place to start is start small. Assume 111 00:05:56,810 --> 00:05:59,330 that they know nothing about time management, that they know 112 00:05:59,330 --> 00:06:02,300 nothing about blocking their time or batching their tasks or 113 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:06,620 checking things off lists, even the most basic of basics, don't 114 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:09,830 rule anything out. And again, assume that they've never been 115 00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:13,010 taught anything time management and they have zero practice with 116 00:06:13,010 --> 00:06:15,470 these skills. And then I think you'll find yourself in a good 117 00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:16,280 place to start. 118 00:06:17,230 --> 00:06:19,990 So first, help them see the big picture. What good things come 119 00:06:19,990 --> 00:06:23,800 out of being organized? Like if they can get a glimpse of the 120 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,970 end result, then maybe their eyes will be open to actually 121 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:31,180 realizing that this is a meaningful or important skill to 122 00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:35,290 master. They'll have less stress, better grades. They will 123 00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:38,710 achieve goals that they actually set out to achieve. They'll meet 124 00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:41,860 expectations that they set for themselves. They'll develop 125 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:45,430 rhythms and routines and structure which actually allow 126 00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:49,930 freedom or margin for hobbies or part time jobs or just some 127 00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:54,070 blank space with nothing that they have to do. I'm someone who 128 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:57,580 feels bound by rhythms and routines like that feels very 129 00:06:57,580 --> 00:07:01,810 suffocating to me, but when I frame it to myself that if I 130 00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:05,470 manage my time, then I can have some margin to do the things 131 00:07:05,470 --> 00:07:09,070 that I want to do, that's a lot more reassuring to me, and it 132 00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:11,710 makes me a little bit more motivated to get better with my 133 00:07:11,710 --> 00:07:12,580 time management. 134 00:07:13,270 --> 00:07:16,330 With that better time management and some structure in your 135 00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:19,210 students' days, they'll be able to make more room, have more 136 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:22,480 freedom for the things that they want to do, because there won't 137 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:26,140 be these tasks looming over them waiting to get done. Their 138 00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:29,200 downtime will actually be their downtime, and they're more 139 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,370 prepared for adulthood because they know how to do this. When 140 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:37,690 students launch out into young adulthood, I think it's commonly 141 00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:40,210 assumed that they know how to manage their time, that they 142 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,880 know how to keep a calendar and show up where they need to be, 143 00:07:42,910 --> 00:07:45,640 that they get their work done in a reasonable amount of time. 144 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:49,780 Like there's just a level of responsibility that young adults 145 00:07:49,780 --> 00:07:52,630 are assumed to have. But if no one has trained them on it, and 146 00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:55,210 no one has practiced these skills with them, then there's 147 00:07:55,210 --> 00:08:00,010 going to be a real gap in their skills and their self mastery 148 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,260 over some really important life skills. So that's why we're 149 00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,040 talking about it. 150 00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:06,420 Have them analyze what they're doing right now and get a pulse 151 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,780 check on if it's working or not. Are they using an agenda given 152 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,420 to them by the school? Do they use a paper and planner that 153 00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:15,030 they got from somewhere else? Some people swear by the paper 154 00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:18,930 and pencil method. It's usually not me, but I did actually just 155 00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:21,960 do this for the summer, because, let me tell you, the visual 156 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:25,200 immediately lowered my stress levels because I could see what 157 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,220 our weeks were gonna look like all summer with one quick visual 158 00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:33,000 eyeball on these pieces of paper. Do your students use a 159 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,160 digital planner on their phone or their tablet or their 160 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:39,180 computer? Remember, the best planner is the one that you 161 00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:42,450 actually use. So yeah, you can use that line with them. There's 162 00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:45,720 no right or wrong here. A gym membership won't help you get 163 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:49,860 stronger in shape if you never show up. The right fit gym for 164 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:53,040 you is the one that you actually go to. So have your students 165 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,570 choose their way to plan. 166 00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:57,210 Remember, I said we're gonna get back to the basics here. This 167 00:08:57,210 --> 00:09:01,470 feels very simple. Okay, they chose it perfect. Check. Now 168 00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:03,780 let's open up that planner and jot down the things that we 169 00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:07,380 already know go in there, put in the easy things. People have all 170 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,230 different ways of looking at this. You know that. Look at the 171 00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:13,650 different views. Do you like to look at daily, weekly, monthly? 172 00:09:14,010 --> 00:09:16,710 If your students aren't used to using planners yet, they may 173 00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:20,190 need an extra level of accountability to keep using it, 174 00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:23,130 like actually put it in place and meet those deadlines. So 175 00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,830 maybe, if it's something digital, setting alarms for 176 00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:28,620 these things, that's very easy to do in a digital platform. 177 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,930 Next, have your students think about what non negotiables go in 178 00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:35,410 that planner. What takes up time on your calendar that has to be 179 00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:38,410 there? Then how will you plan to have everything fall into place 180 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,680 around that? Have them analyze some rhythms and routines that 181 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,620 are working for them right now. What do they wish they could add 182 00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:48,160 or take away? Are there rhythms and routines that used to work 183 00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:49,990 but now they just don't serve them? 184 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,800 So for example, during baseball season, the student always went 185 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,960 straight to practice from school, then came home for 186 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,050 dinner and homework and then played video games until bed. It 187 00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:02,500 worked for a season, but when he's not in baseball season, he 188 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,380 actually has a lot more free time, and he somehow neglects 189 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:08,050 his homework because he has a lot more time, and he scrambles 190 00:10:08,050 --> 00:10:11,500 to get it turned in on time. It doesn't make sense up here in 191 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,860 the ether that with more time, he actually wouldn't get his 192 00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:17,530 stuff done. But he needs to address his time management 193 00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:21,100 during baseball's off season in a different way, because his 194 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,980 time is slipping away and causing him unnecessary stress. 195 00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:27,190 Sometimes it's just an acknowledgement that something 196 00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:30,040 has changed, and what we did one semester of the year doesn't 197 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,440 work for the other semester. And that's okay. 198 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,830 If your students are finding it hard to manage their time, I'd 199 00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:38,770 encourage you to either sit with them individually, run a small 200 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:42,400 group of students who all have like needs, or maybe it's like 201 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,700 some lunch and learn sessions until we kind of get on pace 202 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:48,730 together, or do whole classroom lessons where you walk them 203 00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:51,490 through a step by step process on revamping their time 204 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:55,930 management. I just don't think anyone has this perfectly down 205 00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:59,980 pat, where they can ask themselves some more invasive 206 00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:03,550 personal questions to see how they could get better at it. I 207 00:11:03,550 --> 00:11:07,030 just think that everybody has a level to get better at this, and 208 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:08,140 no one's perfect at it. 209 00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:12,550 I have an organization, digital presentation or check in to do 210 00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:15,520 with your students. It's really helpful to walk through some of 211 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,950 those big pieces of organization, like planning, 212 00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:21,400 structuring, arranging and reflecting on what's working and 213 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,340 reflecting on what isn't working. So as you're rounding 214 00:11:24,340 --> 00:11:26,320 out the year, I wanted to let you know, of course, I have 215 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:30,250 resources in my TPT shop. I'm also working on a big overhaul 216 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,920 of the Clique Collaborative membership. I closed the doors 217 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,920 here for a few months, and I've been working on a major revamp 218 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,460 inside that I hope you'll stay tuned for. It currently has over 219 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:42,670 25 PD videos for teaching and training high school counselors, 220 00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:45,610 but I'm gonna be shaking some things up inside there. So if 221 00:11:45,610 --> 00:11:48,610 you are interested in what's coming next, just stay tuned for 222 00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:52,000 that. It's closed right now for new members, because I'm working 223 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:52,780 on the inside. 224 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,210 And if you're a new counselor right now wondering what your 225 00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:57,700 next move should be, or you're coming right out of internship, 226 00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,680 I'd encourage you to check out the high school counselor 227 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:03,610 kickstart audio course at counselorclique.com/newcounselor 228 00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:05,470 for your next steps after you get the job. 229 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:09,650 I'll be back next week with part three of those life skills that 230 00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:12,530 your students should master before they graduate. It'll be 231 00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:16,190 the last episode in this series of life skills, and I hope that 232 00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:18,410 your students have them down pat by the time they leave high 233 00:12:18,410 --> 00:12:21,950 school, but this will have all sorts of helpful tips for our 234 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,170 third and final one, so I'll see you then. 235 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:28,730 Thanks for listening to today's episode of High School 236 00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:32,060 Counseling Conversations. All the links I talked about today 237 00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:34,280 can be found in the show notes and also at 238 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,840 counselorclique.com/podcast. Be sure to hit follow wherever you 239 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,930 listen to your podcasts so that you never miss a new episode. 240 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,140 Connect with me over on Instagram. Feel free to send me 241 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:50,210 a DM @counselorclique, that's C, L, I, Q, U, E. I'll see you next 242 00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:50,540 week.