Lauren: Welcome to this week's episode, where we're continuing
the conversation about life skills your high schoolers need
before they graduate. This is coming from a place of practical
wisdom and a dream counseling program. You're noticing what
your students need, or you're probably doing needs
assessments, which if you're not I can link to past episode about
that, but you are the one who is determining what the students on
your caseload in your school actually need. But I'm here just
talking about some general life skills that I've noticed are
helpful as my students launch out of my school and into the,
quote, real world, or just things that I have reflected
back on that I wish I had a greater understanding of when I
came out of high school.
So if you haven't listened to the first episode of this series
about money management and budgeting, head back to last
week's episode and then come back here to this week's
episode. It truly doesn't matter what order you listen to, but
you know, if you're gonna binge them all, why don't you just go
in order? That's my suggestion, at least.
Before we get to the episode. I told you last week that sharing
the episode with a friend is a truly impactful way that you can
help me get this High School Counseling Conversations podcast
show in the air pods of more high school counselors just like
you. I want every high school counselor to know about it, so
that is where you come in. You are a listener who is dedicated,
and I want you to share this show with a friend. Leave a
review if it's been helpful for you.
Let's read a review from a listener to kick off this
episode, just like we did last week. This one is from opinion
lady 25, love that username. The subject of this review is called
a must listen. This five star review says, "It's clear that
Lauren wants school counselors to thrive in their role and be
equipped to do the best work they can. I appreciate that
Lauren ensures her episodes are educational and applicable to
her audience. I've learned so much from listening." Well thank
you for that very positive opinion, opinion, lady, I
appreciate it, and I'm happy to read wonderful five star reviews
like this on air. So go ahead and leave your review after
listening to this week's episode.
You got into this profession to make a difference in your
students' lives, but you're spread thin by all the things
that keep getting added to your to do list. I can't create more
hours in the day, but I can invite you into my counselor
clique, where you'll finally catch your breath. Come with me
as we unpack creative ideas and effective strategies that'll
help you be the counselor who leaves a lifelong impact on your
students. I'm Lauren Tingle, your high school counseling hype
girl, here to help you energize your school counseling program
and remind you of how much you love your job.
I think when I set out to do this series, I was picturing in
my mind just talking to seniors because they're about to
graduate. That's what time of the year it is. But I truly
think that these skills are valuable at every grade level,
and our students probably stand to need the information over and
over again, like they have to hear it over and over to be able
to put it into practice in their lives. I think if I were looking
at a comprehensive program, a high school counseling program,
and trying to plan out something intentional over those four
years, I'd sit with my team, if I had team. I've always had a
team, so that's why I assume you do too, but I know not everyone
does. And I decide on some skills that would be important
based on the needs of my school, and then plan out what I wanted
Life skill number two is time management. Can you think of
to do long term to make that happen.
anyone who wouldn't benefit from some more help with time
management and self advocacy around this topic? There are
students who are going to need more intentional individual help
with this, but it's a skill that you can get out in front of a
lot of your students at once to educate them. When your students
leave your halls, you'll want them to be independent and be
able to advocate for themselves, and so that's why we're focusing
on these life skills.
And this one specifically, because it relates to a couple
different ASCA mindsets and behaviors, specifically BSMS1,
and that's the behavior standard that addresses the self
management skill of responsibility for self and
actions. And time management is definitely a skill that proves
that someone is responsible once they get on track to mastering
it. Another mindset and behavior that's addressed when we help
students with their time management is BSMS2, it's
literally the next one down in the same column of the mindsets
and behaviors, which is self discipline and self control. And
maybe those words sound like kind of aggressive and rigid. I
don't know. It's just like the vibe they give off, but I think
someone who can show their ability to manage their time
shows that they're disciplined.
If you're anything like me, sometimes you would like to
spend your time doing something different from the thing that
you need to spend your time doing. So we want to spend our
time doing one thing, but there are things that we have to get
done. So mastering this to a level of self control without
others having to do it for you is a level of mastery that we
want our students to get to to facilitate their independence
before they leave us. So for them to be able to manage with
self control and self discipline their own time, I think, is a
huge and meaningful life skill.
Now, I know we all have our own personal ways to tackle time
management, and for some of us, it comes easier than others. So
I want us to keep a mindset of grace as we teach time
management to students. For some of our students, it's going to
be really hard. For some of us, it's really hard. Not everyone
will fall into a cookie cutter way that they process this and
find success immediately. Personality types, level of
overwhelm, previous practice and expectations from others, like,
was this expected in your family, maturity and
responsibility levels, all of these will affect how a student
takes your leadership on this topic and runs with it, or
doesn't and does nothing with it.
For all of them, though, I think when you're teaching time
management, the best place to start is start small. Assume
that they know nothing about time management, that they know
nothing about blocking their time or batching their tasks or
checking things off lists, even the most basic of basics, don't
rule anything out. And again, assume that they've never been
taught anything time management and they have zero practice with
these skills. And then I think you'll find yourself in a good
place to start.
So first, help them see the big picture. What good things come
out of being organized? Like if they can get a glimpse of the
end result, then maybe their eyes will be open to actually
realizing that this is a meaningful or important skill to
master. They'll have less stress, better grades. They will
achieve goals that they actually set out to achieve. They'll meet
expectations that they set for themselves. They'll develop
rhythms and routines and structure which actually allow
freedom or margin for hobbies or part time jobs or just some
blank space with nothing that they have to do. I'm someone who
feels bound by rhythms and routines like that feels very
suffocating to me, but when I frame it to myself that if I
manage my time, then I can have some margin to do the things
that I want to do, that's a lot more reassuring to me, and it
makes me a little bit more motivated to get better with my
time management.
With that better time management and some structure in your
students' days, they'll be able to make more room, have more
freedom for the things that they want to do, because there won't
be these tasks looming over them waiting to get done. Their
downtime will actually be their downtime, and they're more
prepared for adulthood because they know how to do this. When
students launch out into young adulthood, I think it's commonly
assumed that they know how to manage their time, that they
know how to keep a calendar and show up where they need to be,
that they get their work done in a reasonable amount of time.
Like there's just a level of responsibility that young adults
are assumed to have. But if no one has trained them on it, and
no one has practiced these skills with them, then there's
going to be a real gap in their skills and their self mastery
over some really important life skills. So that's why we're
talking about it.
Have them analyze what they're doing right now and get a pulse
check on if it's working or not. Are they using an agenda given
to them by the school? Do they use a paper and planner that
they got from somewhere else? Some people swear by the paper
and pencil method. It's usually not me, but I did actually just
do this for the summer, because, let me tell you, the visual
immediately lowered my stress levels because I could see what
our weeks were gonna look like all summer with one quick visual
eyeball on these pieces of paper. Do your students use a
digital planner on their phone or their tablet or their
computer? Remember, the best planner is the one that you
actually use. So yeah, you can use that line with them. There's
no right or wrong here. A gym membership won't help you get
stronger in shape if you never show up. The right fit gym for
you is the one that you actually go to. So have your students
choose their way to plan.
Remember, I said we're gonna get back to the basics here. This
feels very simple. Okay, they chose it perfect. Check. Now
let's open up that planner and jot down the things that we
already know go in there, put in the easy things. People have all
different ways of looking at this. You know that. Look at the
different views. Do you like to look at daily, weekly, monthly?
If your students aren't used to using planners yet, they may
need an extra level of accountability to keep using it,
like actually put it in place and meet those deadlines. So
maybe, if it's something digital, setting alarms for
these things, that's very easy to do in a digital platform.
Next, have your students think about what non negotiables go in
that planner. What takes up time on your calendar that has to be
there? Then how will you plan to have everything fall into place
around that? Have them analyze some rhythms and routines that
are working for them right now. What do they wish they could add
or take away? Are there rhythms and routines that used to work
but now they just don't serve them?
So for example, during baseball season, the student always went
straight to practice from school, then came home for
dinner and homework and then played video games until bed. It
worked for a season, but when he's not in baseball season, he
actually has a lot more free time, and he somehow neglects
his homework because he has a lot more time, and he scrambles
to get it turned in on time. It doesn't make sense up here in
the ether that with more time, he actually wouldn't get his
stuff done. But he needs to address his time management
during baseball's off season in a different way, because his
time is slipping away and causing him unnecessary stress.
Sometimes it's just an acknowledgement that something
has changed, and what we did one semester of the year doesn't
work for the other semester. And that's okay.
If your students are finding it hard to manage their time, I'd
encourage you to either sit with them individually, run a small
group of students who all have like needs, or maybe it's like
some lunch and learn sessions until we kind of get on pace
together, or do whole classroom lessons where you walk them
through a step by step process on revamping their time
management. I just don't think anyone has this perfectly down
pat, where they can ask themselves some more invasive
personal questions to see how they could get better at it. I
just think that everybody has a level to get better at this, and
no one's perfect at it.
I have an organization, digital presentation or check in to do
with your students. It's really helpful to walk through some of
those big pieces of organization, like planning,
structuring, arranging and reflecting on what's working and
reflecting on what isn't working. So as you're rounding
out the year, I wanted to let you know, of course, I have
resources in my TPT shop. I'm also working on a big overhaul
of the Clique Collaborative membership. I closed the doors
here for a few months, and I've been working on a major revamp
inside that I hope you'll stay tuned for. It currently has over
25 PD videos for teaching and training high school counselors,
but I'm gonna be shaking some things up inside there. So if
you are interested in what's coming next, just stay tuned for
that. It's closed right now for new members, because I'm working
on the inside.
And if you're a new counselor right now wondering what your
next move should be, or you're coming right out of internship,
I'd encourage you to check out the high school counselor
kickstart audio course at counselorclique.com/newcounselor
for your next steps after you get the job.
I'll be back next week with part three of those life skills that
your students should master before they graduate. It'll be
the last episode in this series of life skills, and I hope that
your students have them down pat by the time they leave high
school, but this will have all sorts of helpful tips for our
third and final one, so I'll see you then.
Thanks for listening to today's episode of High School
Counseling Conversations. All the links I talked about today
can be found in the show notes and also at
counselorclique.com/podcast. Be sure to hit follow wherever you
listen to your podcasts so that you never miss a new episode.
Connect with me over on Instagram. Feel free to send me
a DM @counselorclique, that's C, L, I, Q, U, E. I'll see you next
week.