1 00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:13,333 Dallas Burnett: Hey everybody. 2 00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:15,733 We're talking to Megan Matthews Bunning today. 3 00:00:15,733 --> 00:00:22,663 What an amazing woman she is, a former All American SEC softball star turned 4 00:00:22,903 --> 00:00:28,123 clinical associate professor at FSU for all you Florida State fans out there. 5 00:00:28,123 --> 00:00:31,483 She has some incredible stories like pitching to MVP 6 00:00:31,483 --> 00:00:33,403 Honors in the SEC tournament. 7 00:00:33,823 --> 00:00:37,633 Owning a therapy horse, which we're gonna get into, and overcoming a career 8 00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:39,943 of doubts to inspire mental toughness. 9 00:00:39,943 --> 00:00:41,743 She's a great new friend of mine. 10 00:00:41,923 --> 00:00:45,132 You don't want to miss this incredible conversation. 11 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:49,453 Welcome the last 10%. 12 00:00:49,903 --> 00:00:54,463 Your host, Dallas Burnett, dives into incredible conversations that 13 00:00:54,463 --> 00:00:56,563 will inspire you to finish well. 14 00:00:56,958 --> 00:00:59,083 And finish strong and strong. 15 00:01:00,108 --> 00:01:05,238 as guests share their journeys in valuable advice on living in the last 10%. 16 00:01:05,718 --> 00:01:10,218 If you are a leader, a coach, a business owner, or someone looking to 17 00:01:10,218 --> 00:01:13,338 level up, you are in the right place. 18 00:01:13,398 --> 00:01:18,678 Remember, you can give 90% effort and make it a long way, but it's finding 19 00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:20,868 out how to unlock the last 10%. 20 00:01:21,163 --> 00:01:25,933 That makes all the difference in your life, your relationships, and your work. 21 00:01:26,683 --> 00:01:28,183 Now here's Dallas. 22 00:01:28,309 --> 00:01:31,813 Welcome, welcome, welcome. 23 00:01:31,813 --> 00:01:36,913 I am Dallas Burnett, sitting in my 1905 Koch Brothers 24 00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:39,673 barber chair in Thrive Studios. 25 00:01:40,573 --> 00:01:45,583 more importantly, we have an amazing guest today, a former All 26 00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:51,463 American SEC softball pitcher, seven time SEC pitcher of the week. 27 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:56,653 She's now a clinical Associate professor and certified Mental performance 28 00:01:56,653 --> 00:01:59,893 consultant at FSU, Megan Matthews Bunning. 29 00:01:59,893 --> 00:02:00,908 Welcome to the show, Megan. 30 00:02:01,713 --> 00:02:02,368 Dr. Megan Buning: Thank you. 31 00:02:02,368 --> 00:02:02,728 Your gosh. 32 00:02:02,968 --> 00:02:05,158 I need you to follow me around and be my hype man. 33 00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,118 That was wonderful. 34 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:09,848 Dallas Burnett: We like hyping it up. 35 00:02:09,848 --> 00:02:12,228 We have great guests which you are now one of. 36 00:02:12,228 --> 00:02:14,628 And so we've, I've been really excited about this. 37 00:02:14,628 --> 00:02:17,058 I love talking to performance coaches. 38 00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:17,448 I always learn. 39 00:02:18,633 --> 00:02:21,543 I always learn something that I can take away and use when I 40 00:02:21,543 --> 00:02:23,013 talk to a performance expert. 41 00:02:23,013 --> 00:02:25,503 So I'm stoked about this conversation today. 42 00:02:25,503 --> 00:02:27,573 So let's talk a little bit about your career. 43 00:02:27,573 --> 00:02:32,193 You've had an amazing career, and so tell us how you got 44 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,453 into doing what you're doing. 45 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:36,963 But let's go back to the start and just share some of your experiences. 46 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,880 Dr. Megan Buning: So it's interesting when you see my 47 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,740 career, you think of it as amazing. 48 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:44,130 And when I think of my career, I think of a bunch of twists and turns, 49 00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:46,890 and it's been a lot of hard work. 50 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:49,430 so, you know, starting back to. 51 00:02:49,495 --> 00:02:53,065 When playing softball at South Carolina, I ended up having a, 52 00:02:53,385 --> 00:02:55,575 looking back, a great career. 53 00:02:55,605 --> 00:02:59,175 And when I walked off the field my senior season, I said, I'm 54 00:02:59,175 --> 00:03:00,915 never going back to school. 55 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:04,215 I don't want anything to do with softball. 56 00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:10,867 Yeah, and turns out that I went to softball first and played 57 00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:13,087 with the British National team a little bit and a little pro. 58 00:03:13,087 --> 00:03:14,617 So I didn't put softball down. 59 00:03:15,187 --> 00:03:19,867 And I ended up getting my first coaching position while I was 60 00:03:19,927 --> 00:03:24,877 at the championship game for the NPF, the National Pro Fast Pitch. 61 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:29,927 so I secured my first coaching position at Florida State while I was in Pennsylvania. 62 00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:33,037 Drove straight from Pennsylvania to, home. 63 00:03:33,037 --> 00:03:35,437 Picked up our stuff, got my husband, and then we moved 64 00:03:35,437 --> 00:03:36,562 to Tallahassee within a week. 65 00:03:37,787 --> 00:03:38,237 Dallas Burnett: Oh 66 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,762 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah, so I was very young, literally walking 67 00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:46,502 off the field myself and entering into a big time coaching position. 68 00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:51,392 So A, I did not stay away from softball, and B, after a year there 69 00:03:51,392 --> 00:03:53,822 decided I am gonna go back to school. 70 00:03:53,822 --> 00:03:58,982 So I started my master's degree in sports psychology here at Florida State 71 00:03:59,292 --> 00:03:59,512 Dallas Burnett: Wow. 72 00:03:59,642 --> 00:04:03,692 Dr. Megan Buning: and was coaching full-time and going to school full-time, 73 00:04:03,752 --> 00:04:05,882 and ended up finishing that degree. 74 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,497 was here at Florida State Coaching for three years and then left to go back 75 00:04:09,497 --> 00:04:13,847 up to the state of South Carolina at Coastal Carolina and was there for 76 00:04:13,847 --> 00:04:17,777 two years as an associate head coach and then went back into the SEC at 77 00:04:17,777 --> 00:04:20,357 Ole Miss as an associate head coach. 78 00:04:20,697 --> 00:04:24,657 now, right before I took that job, we had our first daughter, and so 79 00:04:24,657 --> 00:04:28,677 we moved to Oxford, Mississippi, and she was three months old and we moved 80 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,107 eight hours away from everybody. 81 00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:32,310 Dallas Burnett: oh 82 00:04:32,445 --> 00:04:36,285 Dr. Megan Buning: so no family support starting a coaching position 83 00:04:36,585 --> 00:04:40,435 at an SEC school, as an associate head coach recruiting coordinator. 84 00:04:40,835 --> 00:04:43,295 I was gone a lot and 85 00:04:43,415 --> 00:04:47,585 about two years decided I had started my doctorate degree at Ole Miss and 86 00:04:47,975 --> 00:04:51,185 'cause I kind of thought, I don't know if coaching's gonna be in my. 87 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,880 trajectory for a long time. 88 00:04:54,360 --> 00:05:01,595 So I made it about seven years and after I got out of coaching, I stayed at Ole Miss 89 00:05:01,595 --> 00:05:07,805 for a little bit and finished my degree and then had this random career shift, 90 00:05:08,025 --> 00:05:11,805 'cause you go from coaching to becoming a researcher that teach statistics. 91 00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:13,365 'cause that makes a whole lot of sense, right? 92 00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:14,027 Dallas Burnett: Oh 93 00:05:14,402 --> 00:05:14,582 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 94 00:05:14,807 --> 00:05:16,847 Dallas Burnett: Yeah, that's exactly very interesting. 95 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:21,057 it's not surprising that if you love the game that you went from playing 96 00:05:21,057 --> 00:05:22,887 softball to coaching softball. 97 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,827 that's, even if you weren't planning on doing that, which is kind of funny 98 00:05:25,857 --> 00:05:30,747 'cause you were a student athlete and then you were, a student coach, and so 99 00:05:30,957 --> 00:05:32,607 you just went and just flip flop that. 100 00:05:32,607 --> 00:05:33,777 So that was really interesting. 101 00:05:33,777 --> 00:05:40,523 But what's the biggest that, or the biggest kind of aha moment that you had? 102 00:05:40,523 --> 00:05:43,193 or I would say you felt. 103 00:05:44,003 --> 00:05:48,533 Was like a kind of cataclysmic shift going from this star athlete 104 00:05:48,773 --> 00:05:53,243 to now trying to produce and create star athletes as a coach. 105 00:05:53,573 --> 00:05:55,088 I would love to hear your perspective on that. 106 00:05:55,133 --> 00:05:57,238 Dr. Megan Buning: So I don't actively coach anymore. 107 00:05:57,718 --> 00:05:59,608 I will say, I think. 108 00:06:00,028 --> 00:06:08,878 When I was coaching, the aha moment came when I realized that not the athletes 109 00:06:08,878 --> 00:06:13,618 that I was in touch with at the time, even though they were still considered 110 00:06:13,678 --> 00:06:17,738 a different, what's I guess, breed of athlete as what you see now because we 111 00:06:17,738 --> 00:06:19,298 have generational differences, right? 112 00:06:19,658 --> 00:06:21,398 But even at that time. 113 00:06:21,998 --> 00:06:27,058 Those athletes were not like me and they were not going to be, motivated. 114 00:06:27,058 --> 00:06:29,638 They were not going to be fired up. 115 00:06:29,638 --> 00:06:33,413 They were not going to intake information like what I would and. 116 00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:40,133 It took a little while for me coaching that first year to, to really realize 117 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:44,873 that, and that's why I started a master's degree because I said, you know what? 118 00:06:45,353 --> 00:06:48,263 I wanna, if I'm going to coach, which I wasn't bought into me 119 00:06:48,263 --> 00:06:49,853 being a coach just yet either, 120 00:06:50,303 --> 00:06:50,723 Dallas Burnett: Yeah. 121 00:06:50,813 --> 00:06:52,763 Dr. Megan Buning: I'm gonna do this, and to be honest with you, 122 00:06:52,763 --> 00:06:53,963 I thought I was pigeonholed. 123 00:06:53,993 --> 00:06:55,913 I thought the only thing I could do was to coach. 124 00:06:56,933 --> 00:06:57,773 Dallas Burnett: Ah, 125 00:06:58,088 --> 00:07:00,218 Dr. Megan Buning: And so I said, well, if I'm gonna do this, I 126 00:07:00,218 --> 00:07:01,598 wanna be the best that I can be. 127 00:07:01,598 --> 00:07:04,778 So I'm going to go back, I'm going to get this degree. 128 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,998 Sports psychology was interesting to me. 129 00:07:06,998 --> 00:07:08,348 It made a whole lot of sense. 130 00:07:08,648 --> 00:07:09,788 And so that's what I did. 131 00:07:10,658 --> 00:07:17,648 And during that degree process, my, my thoughts on how to coach about myself, 132 00:07:17,648 --> 00:07:21,758 self-awareness, getting into the research, I took a 90 degree shift in 133 00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:23,438 how I viewed coaching in my athletes. 134 00:07:23,438 --> 00:07:24,998 So I started to see a change there. 135 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,499 Dallas Burnett: It's interesting that you said self-awareness. 136 00:07:27,499 --> 00:07:30,879 You're, you were looking, you are saying, okay, I've noticed They 137 00:07:30,879 --> 00:07:34,249 are different, which is fascinating to me that you had just gotten out 138 00:07:34,249 --> 00:07:35,629 like just a couple years earlier. 139 00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:39,019 and then in just that short period of time, you notice that much of 140 00:07:39,019 --> 00:07:41,979 a difference in the athletes and their style and their motivation. 141 00:07:41,979 --> 00:07:44,919 So you were kind of right on that threshold, of generational change. 142 00:07:45,249 --> 00:07:48,089 And, uh, and so, but it's interesting, that you would start 143 00:07:48,089 --> 00:07:49,499 saying, I see there's a difference. 144 00:07:49,799 --> 00:07:53,009 But then you mentioned self, like self-awareness was 145 00:07:53,009 --> 00:07:54,769 what was part of that shift? 146 00:07:54,769 --> 00:07:56,479 So I would love to hear about that. 147 00:07:56,479 --> 00:08:00,189 Like what awareness did you feel like led you to make that 148 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,409 shift in that, that change of 149 00:08:01,874 --> 00:08:05,864 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah, so self-awareness is something that in the work that I do 150 00:08:05,864 --> 00:08:10,934 now, which I'm sure we'll get to, is a huge component on how to be a successful. 151 00:08:11,489 --> 00:08:14,999 Performer and just in general in life and what you do? 152 00:08:15,479 --> 00:08:23,006 I will say that I have had a higher level of self-awareness since I can remember. 153 00:08:23,006 --> 00:08:25,706 And I think part of that was how I was raised. 154 00:08:26,216 --> 00:08:30,866 my mom and dad were very good about when something isn't working. 155 00:08:31,706 --> 00:08:34,016 We want you to look at you first. 156 00:08:34,226 --> 00:08:35,906 What is it that you're doing? 157 00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,616 How you're seeing the situation? 158 00:08:37,616 --> 00:08:41,246 What can you change perhaps that could make this better? 159 00:08:41,246 --> 00:08:41,576 And so. 160 00:08:42,566 --> 00:08:43,556 Or more productive. 161 00:08:43,586 --> 00:08:48,356 And so I kind of have already had that training of when something's 162 00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:52,226 not going well, the first place I'm gonna look is what can I do? 163 00:08:52,676 --> 00:08:53,306 what am I doing? 164 00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:53,821 Dallas Burnett: great. 165 00:08:53,879 --> 00:08:55,969 Dr. Megan Buning: so that's always been a go-to. 166 00:08:55,969 --> 00:09:00,349 And I didn't realize it, I don't want to make this false impression that I was 167 00:09:00,349 --> 00:09:04,819 some angel child that grew up and was always looking at what can I do better? 168 00:09:04,819 --> 00:09:05,959 It wasn't like that at all. 169 00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:10,834 But as I grew into myself and got more experience, I started to be 170 00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:14,734 more intentional with, okay, I want to look at what other people 171 00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:16,024 are doing and put the blame there. 172 00:09:16,024 --> 00:09:19,654 But I am going to intentionally choose to look at me first and 173 00:09:19,654 --> 00:09:21,284 see what adjustments I can make. 174 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,619 Then we'll talk outside. 175 00:09:23,253 --> 00:09:24,123 Dallas Burnett: That's really great. 176 00:09:24,183 --> 00:09:24,933 That's really great. 177 00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:29,343 Well, that gives you motivation to change maybe how you would normally have coached 178 00:09:29,343 --> 00:09:33,183 or approached other athletes, because if you're going, Hey, they're not responding 179 00:09:33,183 --> 00:09:35,133 to what I would normally respond to. 180 00:09:36,003 --> 00:09:38,283 Well then what am I gonna do to get them to respond? 181 00:09:38,283 --> 00:09:42,603 Versus I'm gonna keep pressing hard to see if I can push them into responding like I 182 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:43,563 Dr. Megan Buning: Exactly. 183 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,543 Dallas Burnett: And I think, I think that's so important too. 184 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,373 if you're listing the last 10%, you're leading a team. 185 00:09:47,373 --> 00:09:52,473 I think that's a huge takeaway and just knowing different, the way that people 186 00:09:52,473 --> 00:09:56,793 see things individually, whether it's at a generational kind of group level or 187 00:09:56,793 --> 00:10:01,097 whether it's just individual personality just goes so far into, Essentially, 188 00:10:01,447 --> 00:10:04,477 creating a message that's gonna resonate with that person or creating 189 00:10:04,477 --> 00:10:05,917 motivation, that's gonna resonate. 190 00:10:05,917 --> 00:10:06,877 So we're gonna get into that. 191 00:10:07,237 --> 00:10:12,167 All right, so now let's talk a little bit about your work now at FSU and what 192 00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:16,087 you're into and and, and some of the performance aspect of what, what you talk 193 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:19,467 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah, so I'll back up just a bit because when I got 194 00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:23,427 out of coaching, I went to Augusta University and I was the researcher. 195 00:10:23,427 --> 00:10:28,317 I was a research professor, tenured all the things, but I didn't have 196 00:10:28,317 --> 00:10:32,362 a, like I was teaching research to graduate students, a variety of. 197 00:10:32,907 --> 00:10:35,757 professions, but it wasn't specifically to coaching. 198 00:10:35,757 --> 00:10:41,307 And so FSU Coach interdisciplinary program launched in 2019 and it. 199 00:10:42,797 --> 00:10:47,687 It was a graduate certificate program and, that's all that we had at the time. 200 00:10:47,937 --> 00:10:53,097 in 2020, the program grew to where we could start, they could start thinking 201 00:10:53,097 --> 00:10:54,687 about adding a master's degree program. 202 00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:56,637 So the call went out. 203 00:10:57,077 --> 00:11:00,577 The advertisement for the position of, teaching faculty, which 204 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:01,837 is what a clinical faculty is. 205 00:11:01,837 --> 00:11:03,427 I, I don't have to do research anymore. 206 00:11:03,427 --> 00:11:04,957 I can just teach and it's wonderful. 207 00:11:05,592 --> 00:11:05,812 Dallas Burnett: Wow. 208 00:11:05,837 --> 00:11:06,172 That's great. 209 00:11:06,517 --> 00:11:10,237 Dr. Megan Buning: But that call went out and I almost immediately, I had 210 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:13,507 probably five or six people that I know in the field send this, send 211 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:16,777 the advertisement to me and say, did you write this for yourself? 212 00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:17,892 This is you. 213 00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:22,647 so I applied and I ended up getting the position. 214 00:11:22,647 --> 00:11:24,417 So I came back in the middle of COVID. 215 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,117 fall of 2020. 216 00:11:26,117 --> 00:11:27,707 Moved the family back. 217 00:11:27,777 --> 00:11:29,607 had two, two children at that time. 218 00:11:30,297 --> 00:11:36,757 And, we started the master's degree in, I wanna say it was spring of 2021. 219 00:11:36,757 --> 00:11:37,327 I can't remember. 220 00:11:37,327 --> 00:11:37,687 It's been. 221 00:11:38,062 --> 00:11:43,202 Pretty new, but now we have a fully online master's degree in athletic coaching, 222 00:11:43,472 --> 00:11:46,652 and then we also still have the graduate certificate in athletic coaching. 223 00:11:46,742 --> 00:11:48,842 And it's my wheelhouse. 224 00:11:48,932 --> 00:11:54,842 I get to teach and work with people that are actively coaching people that want to 225 00:11:54,842 --> 00:11:57,242 get into coaching or work with coaches. 226 00:11:57,722 --> 00:12:00,392 And I get the question all the time, so I'm just gonna go 227 00:12:00,392 --> 00:12:01,532 ahead and answer this for you. 228 00:12:01,532 --> 00:12:02,222 Why? 229 00:12:02,372 --> 00:12:04,562 Why do you like this type of position? 230 00:12:05,262 --> 00:12:11,782 For me, it's about giving back to the profession, and I see this as a way to 231 00:12:11,782 --> 00:12:14,602 help coaches that are in it right now. 232 00:12:14,842 --> 00:12:18,322 Maybe not experience some of the struggles that I experience. 233 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:20,512 Like we don't have to always figure it out. 234 00:12:20,842 --> 00:12:25,162 There are people out there that can help and so that's what I see my role 235 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:27,412 as is how can I help equip these? 236 00:12:28,107 --> 00:12:32,637 Sometimes veteran coaches, sometimes new coaches moving into these certain 237 00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:36,447 situations and help them network, mentor, build their foundational knowledge. 238 00:12:37,614 --> 00:12:39,924 Dallas Burnett: If you were to say, 'cause this is fascinating, I love this. 239 00:12:39,924 --> 00:12:44,144 and your program is mainly for athletic coaches, but I see so many crossovers that 240 00:12:44,144 --> 00:12:47,354 are useful for leaders at every level. 241 00:12:47,614 --> 00:12:51,214 but if you were to say that there was, if there was one thing, is there 242 00:12:51,214 --> 00:12:55,144 one or two things that you see from your seat in the ballpark when you 243 00:12:55,144 --> 00:13:00,104 see coaches come in, whether they're veteran or just, novice coaches, is 244 00:13:00,104 --> 00:13:00,999 there one thing that you're like. 245 00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:05,649 If I can just get this piece of information to them, or they're 246 00:13:05,649 --> 00:13:09,129 all seem to be stumbling over the same thing, is there one thing 247 00:13:09,129 --> 00:13:10,184 like that stands out to you? 248 00:13:10,554 --> 00:13:13,024 Dr. Megan Buning: I, I'm actually gonna throw two things, and these are 249 00:13:13,024 --> 00:13:16,624 issues that I myself also struggled with, being in the coaching field. 250 00:13:16,654 --> 00:13:17,704 One I've already mentioned is. 251 00:13:19,084 --> 00:13:23,734 Coaches a lot of times, whether they're athletic directors or coaches or whatever, 252 00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:27,064 or athletes that wanna be coaches, they think that's all they can do. 253 00:13:27,544 --> 00:13:32,434 And so helping them understand what is their skillset, how does that transfer 254 00:13:32,434 --> 00:13:38,254 into, maybe it's not on the coach, maybe it is into athletic director positions 255 00:13:38,254 --> 00:13:39,904 or administration of some level. 256 00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:43,534 but helping them understand what their skill sets are and 257 00:13:43,594 --> 00:13:46,204 giving them that validation to. 258 00:13:46,664 --> 00:13:49,184 You don't have to if you don't love coaching. 259 00:13:49,304 --> 00:13:51,734 'cause coaching, let's be honest, it's not easy. 260 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,804 It's not well paid for the most of them. 261 00:13:54,484 --> 00:13:58,294 if you don't truly love it, how can you use your skills in other 262 00:13:58,294 --> 00:14:00,064 areas and still stay involved? 263 00:14:00,064 --> 00:14:00,334 Right? 264 00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:01,114 So that's one. 265 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:07,414 The other issue that I see is coaches that I come across the students, they do 266 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:11,494 not understand the value of mentoring. 267 00:14:12,244 --> 00:14:13,204 And networking. 268 00:14:13,324 --> 00:14:15,874 So two different things, mentoring and networking. 269 00:14:16,234 --> 00:14:20,834 But some of the veteran coaches, I have them do, several exercises 270 00:14:20,834 --> 00:14:22,724 in mentoring and mentorship. 271 00:14:22,724 --> 00:14:27,284 We have a whole course on mentoring and mentorship and. 272 00:14:27,614 --> 00:14:31,004 They, the veteran coaches sometimes don't realize that they themselves 273 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,439 are in a position to be a mentor. 274 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,609 So how do they do that? 275 00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:38,799 And then the other coaches coming through, they're like, wow, I've never really 276 00:14:38,799 --> 00:14:40,449 thought about how big my network is. 277 00:14:40,449 --> 00:14:42,459 I thought I only, should have one mentor. 278 00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:43,809 Well, no, we can expand that. 279 00:14:43,809 --> 00:14:46,299 what's the point for these people that are in your circle? 280 00:14:46,789 --> 00:14:48,289 and using those intentionally. 281 00:14:48,599 --> 00:14:50,429 so those are the two big things that I see. 282 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:51,272 Dallas Burnett: That's really good. 283 00:14:51,272 --> 00:14:55,022 Now, how would you advise someone if they don't have a mentor and they're 284 00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:57,242 wanting to get a mentor, is there any advice that you would give somebody 285 00:14:57,242 --> 00:14:59,002 if I'm like, how do I pick a mentor? 286 00:14:59,002 --> 00:15:00,112 Does a mentor pick me? 287 00:15:00,112 --> 00:15:00,982 Or how does that work? 288 00:15:00,982 --> 00:15:01,822 Like how should that 289 00:15:01,897 --> 00:15:02,077 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 290 00:15:02,077 --> 00:15:05,097 So I think, and this kind of goes into my performance work too. 291 00:15:05,097 --> 00:15:09,207 Everything that we do for, and if you look at successful performers, 292 00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:13,917 successful business leaders, all the ones, the one thing, they have more 293 00:15:13,917 --> 00:15:17,507 things in common, but one big thing that they have in common is everything 294 00:15:17,507 --> 00:15:19,427 they do, they do with intention. 295 00:15:20,027 --> 00:15:20,387 So. 296 00:15:20,652 --> 00:15:25,322 When you sit down to think about how do I identify a mentor, we wanna be 297 00:15:25,322 --> 00:15:27,062 intentional with that thought process. 298 00:15:27,062 --> 00:15:28,442 Well, let's sit. 299 00:15:28,472 --> 00:15:30,902 We're not just gonna sit here and say, I need a mentor. 300 00:15:30,902 --> 00:15:33,272 And then go, pick somebody off a tree. 301 00:15:33,482 --> 00:15:38,492 We wanna think about what areas of my work that I'm doing, where 302 00:15:38,492 --> 00:15:39,992 do I think that I am struggling. 303 00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:41,427 So we wanna identify those gaps. 304 00:15:42,562 --> 00:15:43,192 Dallas Burnett: Yes, 305 00:15:43,357 --> 00:15:46,957 Dr. Megan Buning: then we're thinking, all right, now who do I already know? 306 00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:52,217 Whether it's, I've met them one time, I've heard about them, I know them very well. 307 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:58,457 Who do I know and how could I see them, if at all, helping me in these gap areas? 308 00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:00,140 And then who can help me in the areas? 309 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:03,350 I'm already good, like I'm strong in these areas. 310 00:16:03,350 --> 00:16:06,170 So I just need some, maybe some validation, some support, 311 00:16:06,170 --> 00:16:07,610 someone to bounce ideas off of. 312 00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:12,350 So what is the purpose of these mentors and how do they intentionally fit within 313 00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:14,390 my trajectory of what I'm trying to do? 314 00:16:15,545 --> 00:16:19,234 Dallas Burnett: I think that's so important because, may be in a one part of 315 00:16:19,234 --> 00:16:22,814 your career and need one type of mentor, and then you may be in another part and 316 00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:24,819 so the mentor that I needed when I was 25. 317 00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:30,344 Was someone to get me to see things outside of myself. 318 00:16:32,144 --> 00:16:32,624 Dr. Megan Buning: You don't. 319 00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:36,964 Dallas Burnett: Can't imagine why at 25 that I would dip, and then, but 320 00:16:36,964 --> 00:16:40,564 the mentor that I would see in my thirties and forties would be totally 321 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:42,814 different in terms of my needs in those. 322 00:16:43,109 --> 00:16:47,069 Things balancing, work life or strategy or different things like that. 323 00:16:47,069 --> 00:16:48,599 So, I mean, it just changes. 324 00:16:48,599 --> 00:16:50,759 And as you go through your career and you're in different 325 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:51,869 seasons, it totally changes. 326 00:16:51,869 --> 00:16:56,099 So I love your point about intentionality because I think that we can be 327 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:57,659 intentional at any one of those points. 328 00:16:58,604 --> 00:17:01,434 And it's not just, it's not just one mentor forever. 329 00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:04,284 It's like identifying those needs and being intentional. 330 00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:05,604 I think that's really good stuff. 331 00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:09,264 I want to get into the performance thing because the reason that we 332 00:17:09,264 --> 00:17:13,404 reached out was because, I had someone that's getting trained to be 333 00:17:13,454 --> 00:17:17,384 a referee, a professional referee, and they reached out to me and said, Hey. 334 00:17:18,139 --> 00:17:19,159 You need to have Megan on. 335 00:17:19,189 --> 00:17:25,129 'cause she was talking about performance under pressure and that was awesome. 336 00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:26,269 And I said, okay, all right. 337 00:17:26,269 --> 00:17:27,499 we gotta see if we can get Megan on the show. 338 00:17:27,499 --> 00:17:29,089 'cause I was pumped and inspired. 339 00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:30,819 So let's talk about this. 340 00:17:30,819 --> 00:17:32,139 'cause I mean, I can see. 341 00:17:32,777 --> 00:17:36,270 There's a lot of business owners, there's a lot of managers, there's a 342 00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:41,400 lot of team leaders that are having to perform every single day under pressure. 343 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,140 And so I would love to hear. 344 00:17:43,425 --> 00:17:47,285 Some thoughts that you would have and give to them, about how to be great. 345 00:17:47,595 --> 00:17:48,337 under pressure. 346 00:17:48,337 --> 00:17:49,832 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah, so that's a big question. 347 00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:50,942 And let, lemme, 348 00:17:50,962 --> 00:17:51,532 Dallas Burnett: Yeah. 349 00:17:52,202 --> 00:17:56,222 Dr. Megan Buning: let me just preface this for your listeners, that performing 350 00:17:56,222 --> 00:18:01,442 under pressure is a skillset and it is something that when I work with 351 00:18:01,442 --> 00:18:04,712 clients, whether they're individual clients, they're companies, whatever 352 00:18:04,712 --> 00:18:09,032 it is, this is something that we don't just come in and I work with you 353 00:18:09,032 --> 00:18:10,802 one time and then you got it right. 354 00:18:11,452 --> 00:18:14,932 This is something that people would hire me to come in and work with them 355 00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:16,942 continuously until we get this skill. 356 00:18:16,942 --> 00:18:19,432 So when I say skill, that's something that can be learned. 357 00:18:19,612 --> 00:18:21,562 You can learn how to do this right. 358 00:18:22,172 --> 00:18:27,622 so just to give you a brief overview of how I would go in and work with 359 00:18:27,622 --> 00:18:32,222 people to teach them how to work better under pressure is, a lot of 360 00:18:32,222 --> 00:18:38,072 times it starts with do they know what they already are good at? 361 00:18:38,477 --> 00:18:43,637 So whether it's a strengths assessment or it's a trust, your training 362 00:18:43,637 --> 00:18:47,967 type of assessment, I work with the clients, especially game officials, 363 00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:51,817 and I've worked with over a thousand game officials at this point, and I 364 00:18:51,817 --> 00:18:53,587 love working with that population. 365 00:18:53,637 --> 00:18:54,387 yeah, I love it. 366 00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:59,457 I, that's where I really try to target, but, When you're thinking about 367 00:18:59,457 --> 00:19:04,557 performers, what happens a lot of times is they get into this pressure situation 368 00:19:04,947 --> 00:19:07,107 and they forget what they know how to do. 369 00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:08,607 They forget their training. 370 00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:13,347 So you will hear a lot, and I, and somebody may correct me if I'm wrong, 371 00:19:13,347 --> 00:19:16,167 and this could be originated from anywhere, but I always associate 372 00:19:16,167 --> 00:19:19,627 this saying the trust, your training, with the Marine Corps. 373 00:19:19,997 --> 00:19:20,237 Yeah. 374 00:19:20,237 --> 00:19:23,867 Because under pressure they fall to their base level of training. 375 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:23,942 Right. 376 00:19:24,692 --> 00:19:25,802 Dallas Burnett: Yes, yes. 377 00:19:25,952 --> 00:19:28,472 Dr. Megan Buning: have to know what that training is. 378 00:19:28,472 --> 00:19:32,882 So we get into pressure situations and it's really easy for me to come 379 00:19:32,882 --> 00:19:34,772 up and say, Hey, you know what? 380 00:19:35,372 --> 00:19:38,802 You got this, you're good at throwing that pitch on the inside 381 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,812 corner and it's easy to gloss over. 382 00:19:41,812 --> 00:19:45,652 So in that pressure moment, things inside my, in my body and in my 383 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:49,402 brain are at a heightened level of what we call performance arousal. 384 00:19:49,552 --> 00:19:50,422 And it's no different. 385 00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:55,082 If I'm getting up to do a speech and or even talk, like I am with you for 386 00:19:55,382 --> 00:19:59,212 different people, it can create that anxiety, But what the key there is I 387 00:19:59,212 --> 00:20:04,012 need, again, to be intentional, I need to think about what it is that I have already 388 00:20:04,012 --> 00:20:07,882 done with specific examples or memories. 389 00:20:08,062 --> 00:20:09,052 What's your evidence? 390 00:20:09,052 --> 00:20:10,642 I always say bring your receipts. 391 00:20:11,062 --> 00:20:15,022 So if I know that I'm good at public speaking, how specifically 392 00:20:15,022 --> 00:20:17,422 do I know that it could be? 393 00:20:17,422 --> 00:20:20,212 Well, I got up in front of the game officials workshop 394 00:20:20,212 --> 00:20:21,382 that you were talking about. 395 00:20:21,997 --> 00:20:27,367 And I had a standing ovation, or I didn't, but let's just say a standing ovation. 396 00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,827 I had a bunch of people come up and tell me what a great job I did. 397 00:20:30,277 --> 00:20:34,047 I know that I hit all the points that I was trying to hit, that kind of stuff. 398 00:20:34,377 --> 00:20:35,872 So I need to bring the receipts. 399 00:20:35,877 --> 00:20:39,987 Then we wanna connect the emotion to those memories, the evidence, 400 00:20:39,987 --> 00:20:43,737 the receipts that I'm talking about to what it is that I'm trying to 401 00:20:43,737 --> 00:20:45,447 remember, that I have already done. 402 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:50,472 So if I know that I'm good at public speaking because I got a standing ovation 403 00:20:50,472 --> 00:20:53,112 at this talk, how did that make me feel? 404 00:20:53,112 --> 00:20:57,012 So the connection of the emotion to the actual evidence is key. 405 00:20:57,582 --> 00:21:02,652 All right, so I let myself in non-pressure situations, remember 406 00:21:02,682 --> 00:21:07,002 what I have already done, remember what I am already good at with the 407 00:21:07,002 --> 00:21:08,652 receipts and the emotion attached. 408 00:21:09,372 --> 00:21:13,332 So now when I get into a pressure situation and things are going 409 00:21:13,332 --> 00:21:17,442 on in my head, in my body, it's not a matter of just saying, oh, 410 00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,732 you're good at public speaking. 411 00:21:18,732 --> 00:21:23,022 No, it's, I'm good at public speaking and I know that I'm good at it because 412 00:21:23,022 --> 00:21:26,287 X, y, Z happened, and I let the emotion attached with it come back. 413 00:21:26,937 --> 00:21:29,757 That is more likely to get you through the pressure situations. 414 00:21:30,267 --> 00:21:33,937 that kind of in pressure moment, thing that you can remember. 415 00:21:34,087 --> 00:21:37,087 But I wanna back up to what have I done? 416 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,497 What are my receipts? 417 00:21:39,217 --> 00:21:44,347 So a lot of times what I do with athletic performers is I have them, especially 418 00:21:44,347 --> 00:21:49,257 this always hits hard with not only my game officials, but my sport athletes is 419 00:21:49,257 --> 00:21:51,627 I have them literally write out in hours. 420 00:21:52,932 --> 00:21:56,382 How much training they have done with specific parts of the game. 421 00:21:56,382 --> 00:22:01,062 So we'll take a softball athlete, I have them go back and say, since 422 00:22:01,062 --> 00:22:03,432 you started playing so years, 423 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:04,182 Dallas Burnett: Oh 424 00:22:04,422 --> 00:22:07,542 Dr. Megan Buning: how many hours do you think you have put into conditioning? 425 00:22:08,712 --> 00:22:10,782 How many hours have you put into hitting? 426 00:22:10,812 --> 00:22:15,402 You know, all the things Well, and it's gonna be a rough ballpark, but it gets 427 00:22:15,402 --> 00:22:21,162 them to stop and actually think about how many hours they have put into their sport. 428 00:22:21,162 --> 00:22:26,061 So then when they're done, some of them have put 5,000 hours in, for the total. 429 00:22:26,391 --> 00:22:29,301 So then what we're able to do is say, this is where you are now. 430 00:22:29,301 --> 00:22:31,041 You put in this amount of work. 431 00:22:31,161 --> 00:22:33,021 Now, where is it that you want to go? 432 00:22:33,321 --> 00:22:34,761 And we identify the gaps. 433 00:22:34,761 --> 00:22:35,841 So how can they fill in? 434 00:22:35,841 --> 00:22:37,911 Sometimes it's just continuing what they're doing. 435 00:22:38,181 --> 00:22:42,021 Sometimes it's identifying specific things that they think that they could add. 436 00:22:42,451 --> 00:22:43,921 but all of that comes back to. 437 00:22:44,581 --> 00:22:49,381 Now I can trust my training because I have sat and I have seen what I have done. 438 00:22:49,531 --> 00:22:51,106 Dallas Burnett: Wow, man. 439 00:22:51,151 --> 00:22:51,571 Dr. Megan Buning: so that's. 440 00:22:51,766 --> 00:22:52,911 Dallas Burnett: That is so good. 441 00:22:53,721 --> 00:22:54,071 Golly. 442 00:22:54,136 --> 00:22:55,186 That is so good. 443 00:22:55,186 --> 00:22:56,386 There's Much there too. 444 00:22:56,776 --> 00:23:00,426 I love it because you're identifying and You're taking the emotion and 445 00:23:00,426 --> 00:23:02,706 twisting it in a way that's more helpful. 446 00:23:02,706 --> 00:23:06,936 Because when we get involved in these pressure situations, emotion tends to 447 00:23:06,936 --> 00:23:12,846 either just drive us, you know, anger, you know, we, overreact or we get fearful and 448 00:23:12,846 --> 00:23:14,616 we, we just crumble under the pressure. 449 00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:18,936 so you, a lot of times we'll see emotion used in negative ways, but then you've 450 00:23:18,936 --> 00:23:22,206 taken it and totally turned it around where you're using that in such a 451 00:23:22,491 --> 00:23:22,941 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 452 00:23:22,941 --> 00:23:26,151 And and let me just say too, for your listeners, when you get into a pressure 453 00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:30,531 situation and immediately you are having some of the negative emotions 454 00:23:30,531 --> 00:23:35,151 and the negative thoughts, okay, A, we need to realize that's normal because 455 00:23:35,211 --> 00:23:38,151 what's happening, and this is probably something that the game official that 456 00:23:38,151 --> 00:23:43,306 reached out to you, remembers, is when you are in a situation that is new. 457 00:23:44,266 --> 00:23:45,646 It's difficult. 458 00:23:45,826 --> 00:23:49,216 It's something that you have not done well on in the past. 459 00:23:49,216 --> 00:23:54,036 Maybe I was supposed to give a speech and I tanked, And that happened in the past. 460 00:23:54,636 --> 00:24:00,126 Well, your brain is recognizing how you perceive the situation. 461 00:24:00,816 --> 00:24:02,406 It's saying, hold up. 462 00:24:02,736 --> 00:24:04,776 This is new, this is different. 463 00:24:04,776 --> 00:24:05,496 This is hard. 464 00:24:05,496 --> 00:24:07,236 You haven't done well on this before. 465 00:24:07,476 --> 00:24:09,396 And so it's a defense mechanism. 466 00:24:09,981 --> 00:24:15,111 It's trying to protect you, but what we need to realize in that 467 00:24:15,111 --> 00:24:16,671 moment is, A, what is happening? 468 00:24:17,301 --> 00:24:20,031 And B, do we need protection right here? 469 00:24:20,061 --> 00:24:21,741 Is this a life and death situation? 470 00:24:21,741 --> 00:24:24,921 Am I going to get hurt nine times outta 10? 471 00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:25,911 The answer is no. 472 00:24:26,781 --> 00:24:31,641 And so once you can acknowledge that this is just a situation that. 473 00:24:32,031 --> 00:24:33,501 Yes, the stakes are high. 474 00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:34,521 There's pressure there. 475 00:24:34,911 --> 00:24:36,141 Yes, this is new. 476 00:24:36,441 --> 00:24:37,641 This is different for me. 477 00:24:37,641 --> 00:24:38,901 I'm uncomfortable. 478 00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:41,181 And you acknowledge it for what it is. 479 00:24:41,541 --> 00:24:43,101 Then your brain relaxes. 480 00:24:43,101 --> 00:24:47,541 So if you push through that matter of seconds, usually what happens? 481 00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:49,581 Your brain's okay, you got it. 482 00:24:49,791 --> 00:24:51,501 And then everything settles in. 483 00:24:51,501 --> 00:24:53,331 That's why we say throw the first pitch. 484 00:24:53,331 --> 00:24:53,991 How do you feel? 485 00:24:55,866 --> 00:24:56,346 Dallas Burnett: Oh yeah. 486 00:24:56,346 --> 00:24:56,646 Yeah. 487 00:24:56,646 --> 00:24:57,456 I love that. 488 00:24:57,456 --> 00:24:58,206 I love that. 489 00:24:58,446 --> 00:25:03,806 Do you remember as a all American pitcher, do you remember going through that? 490 00:25:03,948 --> 00:25:04,248 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 491 00:25:04,248 --> 00:25:09,318 So every pitch, every game that I started or every time that 492 00:25:09,318 --> 00:25:11,208 I came in, I always had that. 493 00:25:12,048 --> 00:25:15,668 There was always this sense because there's always a pressure to throw the 494 00:25:15,668 --> 00:25:19,958 first pitch, a strike, get ahead, set the tone, especially if you're coming in 495 00:25:19,958 --> 00:25:21,728 with bases loaded, that kind of thing. 496 00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:24,428 And I wanna come back to that bases loaded situation 'cause 497 00:25:24,428 --> 00:25:25,848 that's a high pressure sit, thing. 498 00:25:25,848 --> 00:25:29,808 But just to finish that thought is there was not a pitch. 499 00:25:29,808 --> 00:25:32,118 I don't recall that. 500 00:25:32,118 --> 00:25:34,248 I did not have that anxiety. 501 00:25:34,968 --> 00:25:37,878 And so I, I didn't have the training that I have now or 502 00:25:37,878 --> 00:25:38,778 the knowledge that I have now. 503 00:25:38,778 --> 00:25:40,908 I had the FIOI had to figure it out. 504 00:25:41,478 --> 00:25:48,108 And so the way I figured it out was throw the first pitch, just get that pitch out. 505 00:25:48,468 --> 00:25:51,828 And as soon as I got that first pitch out, I started to 506 00:25:51,828 --> 00:25:53,958 settle in if I allowed myself. 507 00:25:54,438 --> 00:25:54,708 Okay. 508 00:25:54,708 --> 00:25:54,998 Dallas Burnett: Yeah, 509 00:25:55,298 --> 00:25:57,968 Dr. Megan Buning: now here's the thing with pressure situations also. 510 00:25:57,968 --> 00:25:58,958 So base is loaded. 511 00:25:59,783 --> 00:26:02,003 Two outs, bottom of the seventh, whatever. 512 00:26:02,153 --> 00:26:05,211 Anytime you come in with bases loaded, it's a pressure situation, right? 513 00:26:05,211 --> 00:26:06,829 So I have a choice. 514 00:26:07,369 --> 00:26:10,099 And when I think of mindset, everything that you approach 515 00:26:10,099 --> 00:26:11,659 with your mindset is a choice. 516 00:26:12,349 --> 00:26:17,329 And so I can choose to see this pressure situation as an 517 00:26:17,329 --> 00:26:20,569 opportunity, a challenge, right? 518 00:26:20,569 --> 00:26:24,464 So I can choose to see it as, so when I'm base is loaded, I came in thinking. 519 00:26:25,129 --> 00:26:26,509 Oh, no, you're not. 520 00:26:26,869 --> 00:26:27,889 You will not. 521 00:26:28,129 --> 00:26:31,159 I am going to shut this down right now, and I saw it as a 522 00:26:31,159 --> 00:26:35,659 challenge, an opportunity to show how good I was in that moment. 523 00:26:35,779 --> 00:26:41,054 An opportunity to test my own skills against what I'd been practicing, right? 524 00:26:41,054 --> 00:26:43,629 Or I can choose to see this as a threat. 525 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,870 What if I don't throw the first, the strike? 526 00:26:45,870 --> 00:26:47,070 What if I walk this hitter? 527 00:26:47,070 --> 00:26:48,240 What if I fail? 528 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:48,780 What if? 529 00:26:48,780 --> 00:26:51,360 And I start, that's where we, I get in trouble. 530 00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:54,690 So we wanna be intentional about making a choice. 531 00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:58,860 And so part of what you heard me talk through is when I'm in a pressure 532 00:26:58,860 --> 00:27:04,860 situation and I wanna trust my training, I am choosing to challenge my thought, 533 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,930 especially if I'm in a threat mentality. 534 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,535 Dallas Burnett: Oh, wow. 535 00:27:09,435 --> 00:27:12,075 I love that you're choosing to challenge your thought. 536 00:27:12,075 --> 00:27:15,535 you know, it reminds me when you're talking about, About this, 537 00:27:15,585 --> 00:27:18,005 it feels a lot like, Carol Dweck, 538 00:27:18,158 --> 00:27:18,378 Dr. Megan Buning: Yes, 539 00:27:18,653 --> 00:27:19,343 Dallas Burnett: mindset, 540 00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:19,858 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 541 00:27:20,008 --> 00:27:22,888 Dallas Burnett: But I, the reason that's come to mind and I was just, 542 00:27:22,888 --> 00:27:24,808 I just got off a plane actually, and. 543 00:27:25,543 --> 00:27:29,353 I've been reading this book on, on leadership, which will go unnamed 544 00:27:29,353 --> 00:27:34,123 because I don't want to, you know, say this with the title, but authors 545 00:27:34,123 --> 00:27:39,643 have been just ruthlessly slamming a lot of premier authors and research 546 00:27:39,643 --> 00:27:42,943 from these other authors in talking about their SES and how it works. 547 00:27:43,243 --> 00:27:44,833 And particularly they brought. 548 00:27:45,058 --> 00:27:48,568 The growth mindset and Carol Dweck, and they said, well, our research shows that 549 00:27:48,568 --> 00:27:50,093 there's nothing to even support that. 550 00:27:50,483 --> 00:27:52,103 And I gotta thinking about that for a second. 551 00:27:52,103 --> 00:27:56,033 I'm like, if you say that, you're literally saying you are locked into 552 00:27:56,033 --> 00:27:58,133 who you are and you can't escape. 553 00:27:58,133 --> 00:28:02,323 So you're either born with the genes that make you, you know, have a, 554 00:28:02,368 --> 00:28:05,793 respond well or you're not, and there's nothing you can do about it, but. 555 00:28:06,083 --> 00:28:09,153 To me, I'm in what I think your camp is. 556 00:28:09,543 --> 00:28:11,673 And when you said that, I just, oh, man. 557 00:28:11,673 --> 00:28:14,173 Choosing to challenge, your thoughts. 558 00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:22,013 I think that, that feels to me like it is the path that's the key to change. 559 00:28:22,883 --> 00:28:27,653 you're saying this is the mental habit and the mental pattern I'm going through, 560 00:28:28,043 --> 00:28:32,813 and I'm taking a moment to be intentional, to say, to just ask a self a question, 561 00:28:33,023 --> 00:28:39,383 is this actually true I know it's not true, and I'm here to tell myself, 562 00:28:39,758 --> 00:28:41,408 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah, absolutely. 563 00:28:41,903 --> 00:28:42,533 Dallas Burnett: the pattern. 564 00:28:42,615 --> 00:28:42,855 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 565 00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:45,905 And that gets, that also gets into brain science. 566 00:28:45,905 --> 00:28:50,855 And so we talk about triggers and so when you are having that habitual 567 00:28:51,005 --> 00:28:55,715 negative response, there is a trigger there and a pathway in your brain 568 00:28:55,715 --> 00:28:59,405 where neurons have fired at the same, so they've connected to each other. 569 00:28:59,675 --> 00:29:04,265 And as long as we allow that to continue happening, it's like muscles. 570 00:29:04,265 --> 00:29:06,245 My husband's really good at explaining this. 571 00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:08,285 he's a Neurophysical therapist. 572 00:29:09,190 --> 00:29:09,410 Dallas Burnett: Oh, 573 00:29:09,740 --> 00:29:13,490 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah, and he, you know, he listens to some of the stuff I 574 00:29:13,490 --> 00:29:18,920 did talk about and he tells his patients when they're trying to relearn how to 575 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:23,570 walk after a stroke or something like this, about how the brain paths work. 576 00:29:23,570 --> 00:29:25,790 And I love his analogy, so I'm gonna use this one. 577 00:29:26,660 --> 00:29:30,980 So when I am in a situation and I noticed that it, I'm continuously 578 00:29:30,980 --> 00:29:33,080 having, let's just take self-doubt. 579 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,440 I get this imposter syndrome and it's a similar situation. 580 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,530 It doesn't matter where I am, but similar situation and I 581 00:29:40,530 --> 00:29:41,850 have this imposter syndrome. 582 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,890 I have these thoughts of self doubt. 583 00:29:44,490 --> 00:29:49,290 So the more that I have those and I feel the feels, these certain negative emotions 584 00:29:49,290 --> 00:29:52,050 come in or unproductive thoughts come in. 585 00:29:52,410 --> 00:29:55,530 What is happening is, in my head, it's like there's two paths. 586 00:29:55,530 --> 00:29:57,750 One is a clear paved road. 587 00:29:59,355 --> 00:30:04,215 And every time I have those emotions and allow those thoughts to come together, 588 00:30:04,215 --> 00:30:06,525 I am taking that clear, paved road. 589 00:30:07,695 --> 00:30:11,655 But I need to, in those moments, do something more productive. 590 00:30:11,655 --> 00:30:12,015 Right? 591 00:30:12,015 --> 00:30:14,175 So I need to rewire that pathway. 592 00:30:14,205 --> 00:30:15,915 I need to choose a different path. 593 00:30:15,915 --> 00:30:18,525 And sometimes that other path is overgrown. 594 00:30:18,975 --> 00:30:21,285 It's hard because I haven't tended to it. 595 00:30:21,285 --> 00:30:22,725 I haven't taken that path. 596 00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:26,610 And so I have, that's why it's a struggle, and I have to make that 597 00:30:26,610 --> 00:30:31,140 choice to challenge the thought so I can go down this path that is overgrown 598 00:30:31,140 --> 00:30:32,910 and could start clearing that path. 599 00:30:32,930 --> 00:30:37,153 Dallas Burnett: to me that's the most clear example I've ever heard about. 600 00:30:37,758 --> 00:30:41,088 Of like neural pathways and habits and triggers. 601 00:30:41,113 --> 00:30:45,553 I just, to me that makes so much sense because it's just saying that is the, 602 00:30:45,583 --> 00:30:49,993 there's a reason why we do what we do, even if it's bad mental habits. 603 00:30:49,993 --> 00:30:55,803 It's that it's a well worn path and the more we travel it, the more worn and the 604 00:30:55,803 --> 00:30:57,333 more we tend to be in the ruts in the 605 00:30:57,463 --> 00:30:57,703 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 606 00:30:57,723 --> 00:30:59,913 Dallas Burnett: and it's just because we just constantly in it. 607 00:31:00,093 --> 00:31:03,423 But it takes that choosing to challenge your thoughts to take a 608 00:31:03,423 --> 00:31:04,923 right hand turn and say, here's the. 609 00:31:05,143 --> 00:31:06,133 Road less traveled. 610 00:31:06,133 --> 00:31:08,713 I gotta clear some debris and some brush out. 611 00:31:08,713 --> 00:31:11,533 It's gonna be a little bit harder, more intentional. 612 00:31:11,533 --> 00:31:12,223 It's gonna take more 613 00:31:12,373 --> 00:31:14,618 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah, I'm gonna wanna the pave. 614 00:31:15,688 --> 00:31:18,748 Dallas Burnett: Yes, I got, I'm gonna want to go back to Easy Street, but 615 00:31:18,748 --> 00:31:20,428 I'm gonna, I'm gonna clear a new path. 616 00:31:20,428 --> 00:31:22,228 But again, I think that's encouraging. 617 00:31:22,228 --> 00:31:23,578 It should encourage everyone. 618 00:31:23,578 --> 00:31:29,128 And I think that's, again, that is the path of change because now the second 619 00:31:29,128 --> 00:31:33,028 time we come to it, that path is just a little bit easier than the first time. 620 00:31:33,028 --> 00:31:35,668 'cause we've just started clearing that and then we get third 621 00:31:35,668 --> 00:31:36,478 time it's a little bit more. 622 00:31:36,478 --> 00:31:39,838 So it, it's, to me, it's really encouraging because it says if 623 00:31:39,838 --> 00:31:40,948 we take that right hand turn. 624 00:31:41,873 --> 00:31:43,523 And we go down the road less traveled. 625 00:31:43,973 --> 00:31:46,883 It's only, it's more traveled every time I travel 626 00:31:46,918 --> 00:31:47,278 Dr. Megan Buning: Exactly. 627 00:31:47,483 --> 00:31:49,223 Dallas Burnett: more easy every time I go down it. 628 00:31:49,223 --> 00:31:50,358 So I love that. 629 00:31:50,718 --> 00:31:51,918 I love that example. 630 00:31:52,108 --> 00:31:55,668 is there a time that you remember in your career, whether it's an athlete 631 00:31:55,668 --> 00:31:59,568 or a coach or even as a professor, that, that has become real to you? 632 00:31:59,748 --> 00:32:02,688 Like that when you look back on that, was that like, oh my gosh, 633 00:32:02,688 --> 00:32:07,033 that, That makes all the sense in the world because you kind of feel 634 00:32:07,033 --> 00:32:08,083 what you went through, through 635 00:32:08,150 --> 00:32:08,705 that lens. 636 00:32:08,930 --> 00:32:11,910 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah, I would say, when I was, and let's be honest, 637 00:32:11,910 --> 00:32:16,650 I think everybody faces this every day in certain, in different ways. 638 00:32:16,650 --> 00:32:20,980 I don't want to put on this, false pretense that I've got it all figured 639 00:32:20,980 --> 00:32:22,540 out, and I never have self-doubt. 640 00:32:22,540 --> 00:32:23,140 I never have. 641 00:32:23,140 --> 00:32:23,920 That's just not true. 642 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,060 Those are normal. 643 00:32:25,660 --> 00:32:31,850 thoughts that we are going to have, so when I was in my first position 644 00:32:31,850 --> 00:32:37,040 at Augusta, I was research faculty, but I was teaching also, and I was 645 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,950 working with students that were counselor educators, teachers. 646 00:32:40,980 --> 00:32:43,650 And then, you had a few coaches, but that's mostly what it was. 647 00:32:43,650 --> 00:32:45,860 So these were K 12 teachers, And I was 648 00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:46,185 Dallas Burnett: Wow. 649 00:32:46,190 --> 00:32:46,550 Dr. Megan Buning: coach. 650 00:32:46,970 --> 00:32:53,210 Coming in and I struggled and I had that first year I really had this imposter 651 00:32:53,210 --> 00:32:58,220 syndrome, like how in the world, like I'm just a ball coach standing here. 652 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:02,000 Like, why is this not driving with these students? 653 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:07,070 And it took me doing exactly what I have shared with you all. 654 00:33:07,070 --> 00:33:09,440 It took me saying, you know what, wait a minute. 655 00:33:09,490 --> 00:33:12,550 I've always been told and I had to connect back to my receipts. 656 00:33:12,865 --> 00:33:15,565 That I was very good at explaining, pitching. 657 00:33:16,045 --> 00:33:18,445 I could coach, I knew how to coach that. 658 00:33:18,445 --> 00:33:24,445 I knew how to teach a skill, so how could I transfer what I was doing 659 00:33:24,445 --> 00:33:26,545 as a coach into the classroom? 660 00:33:26,605 --> 00:33:27,985 So that's where that started. 661 00:33:28,285 --> 00:33:33,625 I had to go back and review how much work have I already put into how I teach. 662 00:33:34,420 --> 00:33:38,320 And then when the moments of self-doubt would come up when I'm standing in 663 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:42,190 front of these students and getting my teaching evaluations back or teaching 664 00:33:42,190 --> 00:33:46,690 a new concept, there was this moment of, you don't deserve to be here. 665 00:33:47,470 --> 00:33:49,270 You don't belong here. 666 00:33:49,270 --> 00:33:55,160 And it took me saying, okay, I'm not trying to be star professor. 667 00:33:55,220 --> 00:33:59,180 I'm trying to be Megan and here's what I know, so I'm 668 00:33:59,180 --> 00:34:01,010 going to choose to go this path. 669 00:34:01,415 --> 00:34:05,435 I'm gonna start trying to break that away and eventually what happened is 670 00:34:05,885 --> 00:34:12,335 the paved path of my negative self-doubt and all that started to overgrow and 671 00:34:12,665 --> 00:34:17,975 the path of, no, I can do this and I can be my own person, my own professor. 672 00:34:17,975 --> 00:34:20,600 Do it in a different way and think outside the box a little bit. 673 00:34:20,645 --> 00:34:23,075 That path started to get more clear. 674 00:34:23,325 --> 00:34:26,705 and so that is probably the most clear, example I could give you. 675 00:34:27,305 --> 00:34:28,055 Dallas Burnett: I love that. 676 00:34:28,055 --> 00:34:29,165 That's a great example. 677 00:34:29,195 --> 00:34:30,575 That's a fantastic example. 678 00:34:30,575 --> 00:34:34,055 All right, so I gotta ask you this, because when you're leading a team, 679 00:34:34,695 --> 00:34:38,925 you sometimes, you're coaching, we call them leader coaches, mainly 680 00:34:38,925 --> 00:34:41,205 because I haven't come up with a better way to say that because there's 681 00:34:41,545 --> 00:34:44,515 you're coaching technical expertise, but you're also leading them to. 682 00:34:44,655 --> 00:34:46,155 Some where they haven't been. 683 00:34:46,155 --> 00:34:48,945 And then there's obviously some coaching, individual 684 00:34:48,945 --> 00:34:50,175 coaching that goes through that. 685 00:34:50,395 --> 00:34:54,865 so if you're leading a company, an organization, or a team, one of the 686 00:34:54,865 --> 00:35:01,285 things and challenges that you have is keeping that team to choose that. 687 00:35:01,925 --> 00:35:03,755 Maybe a little bit overgrown path, right? 688 00:35:05,145 --> 00:35:09,555 and, or make some better decisions that you can as the leader see 689 00:35:09,595 --> 00:35:13,465 that slightly overgrown path will take you to a place that's much 690 00:35:13,465 --> 00:35:15,895 better for both you and this team. 691 00:35:16,340 --> 00:35:16,560 But. 692 00:35:17,890 --> 00:35:20,830 It's like sometimes feels like pushing a string. 693 00:35:20,990 --> 00:35:21,036 that. 694 00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:23,866 As a performance coach, how do we, what's really good ways that we 695 00:35:23,866 --> 00:35:28,396 can motivate people to choose to maybe, hopefully take that right 696 00:35:28,499 --> 00:35:28,739 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 697 00:35:28,739 --> 00:35:35,159 So here's the thing with motivation is, and you may have heard this before, but 698 00:35:35,699 --> 00:35:40,229 part of the problem is we did so much work in the research field on motivation. 699 00:35:40,229 --> 00:35:43,079 Like how do I, and I see with coaches, our coaching students, how do I 700 00:35:43,079 --> 00:35:44,599 get my athletes to get motivated? 701 00:35:45,134 --> 00:35:48,524 the first thing that you learn is if you're gonna sit around 702 00:35:48,524 --> 00:35:52,484 and wait to get motivated to do something, you may never do it. 703 00:35:53,109 --> 00:35:58,669 So you have to train yourself and create a culture of. 704 00:35:59,494 --> 00:36:00,514 Acknowledging. 705 00:36:00,514 --> 00:36:05,024 So I use the power of, and so in technical terms, I guess you could 706 00:36:05,024 --> 00:36:10,874 call this, it's such a silly name, but Botness, B-O-T-H-N-E-S-S. 707 00:36:11,624 --> 00:36:12,134 Dallas Burnett: Okay. 708 00:36:12,134 --> 00:36:13,034 Both this, I've never 709 00:36:13,124 --> 00:36:13,754 Dr. Megan Buning: Yes. 710 00:36:13,754 --> 00:36:16,934 And so when we, and you'll hear it in the counseling field and 711 00:36:17,001 --> 00:36:17,351 Dallas Burnett: Uhhuh. 712 00:36:17,886 --> 00:36:23,226 Dr. Megan Buning: field, but it's thinking about the power of the word a ND and. 713 00:36:23,228 --> 00:36:30,874 So a lot of times what happens is we use the word, but or we, use 714 00:36:30,874 --> 00:36:35,764 this kind of dichotomy of thought where I feel this way, and so that 715 00:36:35,764 --> 00:36:37,864 means I can't have this over here. 716 00:36:38,554 --> 00:36:43,974 So I don't feel, I don't like what my boss said to me or my supervisor said to me. 717 00:36:44,214 --> 00:36:47,964 And so then what happens is, I don't like what this person said. 718 00:36:48,879 --> 00:36:51,819 So then I connect that to me, getting my job done. 719 00:36:51,833 --> 00:36:53,453 I don't like what the coach said. 720 00:36:53,453 --> 00:36:55,493 I don't like what my supervisor said. 721 00:36:55,493 --> 00:36:59,123 So that means that I'm not going to get my job done. 722 00:36:59,483 --> 00:37:01,463 I'm not going to perform well. 723 00:37:01,488 --> 00:37:01,758 Okay. 724 00:37:01,968 --> 00:37:05,688 So there's this sense in our head of I have to have one or the other. 725 00:37:05,688 --> 00:37:06,378 I can't have both. 726 00:37:06,396 --> 00:37:11,746 But if we replace that thought, we connect it with and we recognize I 727 00:37:11,746 --> 00:37:16,636 don't like what my supervisor said and I can still get the job done. 728 00:37:17,171 --> 00:37:20,081 don't like what the coach said, and I can still perform well. 729 00:37:20,081 --> 00:37:21,071 So that's part of this. 730 00:37:21,071 --> 00:37:24,461 I can have both and be okay with that. 731 00:37:24,461 --> 00:37:26,231 I don't have to like, what's going on. 732 00:37:26,531 --> 00:37:33,731 I can be tired and I can not agree with and right. 733 00:37:33,806 --> 00:37:34,406 Dallas Burnett: Yes, 734 00:37:34,526 --> 00:37:35,216 Dr. Megan Buning: that part of it. 735 00:37:35,331 --> 00:37:35,751 Dallas Burnett: that's 736 00:37:35,966 --> 00:37:39,836 Dr. Megan Buning: second part of it is teach yourself to do hard things. 737 00:37:39,838 --> 00:37:43,678 So I wake up and I work out allergies, workouts. 738 00:37:43,708 --> 00:37:46,558 I work out almost every day, probably six days a week. 739 00:37:46,828 --> 00:37:52,018 Let me tell you something, I work out, not because I want to all the time, especially 740 00:37:52,018 --> 00:37:53,368 the, I'm not training for anything. 741 00:37:53,368 --> 00:37:54,688 I'm training for life, right? 742 00:37:54,958 --> 00:37:56,848 so there's that piece of it, and I feel good. 743 00:37:56,848 --> 00:37:59,848 And there's, and the motivation, if we talk about motivation, 744 00:37:59,848 --> 00:38:01,498 yes, I feel good, I feel better. 745 00:38:01,498 --> 00:38:02,728 I, all the things like that. 746 00:38:02,998 --> 00:38:08,578 But if I wait to feel motivated to get my workout in, I'm gonna drag it out and I'm 747 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:10,198 gonna make excuses to not get it done. 748 00:38:10,198 --> 00:38:11,488 So here's what I do. 749 00:38:12,718 --> 00:38:15,358 I acknowledge how I feel about working out. 750 00:38:15,958 --> 00:38:20,008 I don't wanna work out today, and I'm gonna do it anyway. 751 00:38:21,538 --> 00:38:21,838 Okay. 752 00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:25,618 So I'm acknowledging I don't like it. 753 00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:29,728 I'm not motivated to do it, and I can still go do it. 754 00:38:29,786 --> 00:38:31,316 Dallas Burnett: Yes, yes. 755 00:38:31,481 --> 00:38:32,621 Dr. Megan Buning: hard things. 756 00:38:32,621 --> 00:38:34,661 Push yourself to do the hard thing. 757 00:38:34,691 --> 00:38:35,321 It's okay. 758 00:38:35,321 --> 00:38:36,521 You don't have to wanna do it. 759 00:38:36,521 --> 00:38:37,571 You don't have to agree. 760 00:38:38,021 --> 00:38:39,521 You can be hungry, you can be tired. 761 00:38:39,521 --> 00:38:41,381 All the things, and guess what? 762 00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:42,851 You can still go do it. 763 00:38:42,926 --> 00:38:43,856 Dallas Burnett: You can still do 764 00:38:43,916 --> 00:38:45,986 man, that I'm motivated. 765 00:38:46,016 --> 00:38:46,706 I'm ready. 766 00:38:46,796 --> 00:38:47,516 I'm ready. 767 00:38:47,546 --> 00:38:48,356 Let's go. 768 00:38:48,371 --> 00:38:50,216 I'm gonna go pump some iron right now. 769 00:38:50,216 --> 00:38:51,176 This is awesome. 770 00:38:51,536 --> 00:38:56,466 Oh, man, I think that is so true because you're not dismissing the idea. 771 00:38:57,906 --> 00:39:00,716 and it's almost like you're playing mental, gymnastics a little bit 772 00:39:00,716 --> 00:39:04,386 because if you dismiss the idea and you try to put it away, it's the truth. 773 00:39:04,666 --> 00:39:07,246 if you don't wanna work out, you don't wanna work out. 774 00:39:07,306 --> 00:39:08,206 That's the truth. 775 00:39:08,416 --> 00:39:12,406 And if you try to get around that somehow and you dismiss it, then it's gonna win. 776 00:39:12,406 --> 00:39:14,596 'cause it eventually it's gonna push through and you're just like, I'm not 777 00:39:14,596 --> 00:39:15,766 gonna work out because I don't like it. 778 00:39:16,006 --> 00:39:20,626 But if you acknowledge it then you're just like, no, yeah, I accept that as true. 779 00:39:21,431 --> 00:39:25,721 And there's another truth and I'm gonna choose to pursue this truth. 780 00:39:25,751 --> 00:39:28,691 And that is, man, that is awesome. 781 00:39:28,751 --> 00:39:29,501 I love that. 782 00:39:29,651 --> 00:39:32,111 Both myths, the power of, and I love that. 783 00:39:32,111 --> 00:39:32,681 Really good. 784 00:39:32,681 --> 00:39:33,551 That's good technique. 785 00:39:33,671 --> 00:39:33,821 Dr. Megan Buning: Good. 786 00:39:33,911 --> 00:39:34,931 Dallas Burnett: And I think that's true. 787 00:39:34,961 --> 00:39:38,461 'cause we're leading through some change right now and, I think that 788 00:39:38,461 --> 00:39:41,581 it's that power of and can be in organizations, if you're leading 789 00:39:41,581 --> 00:39:46,861 through change, then it's so good as leaders to communicate that power of 790 00:39:46,861 --> 00:39:49,471 and because as we go into this change. 791 00:39:50,251 --> 00:39:52,231 We are all doing hard things. 792 00:39:52,231 --> 00:39:55,801 this organization that we're leading right now, this new team that's coming 793 00:39:55,801 --> 00:40:00,601 together in new ways and they're having to learn new technology and all 794 00:40:00,601 --> 00:40:04,981 these things, and it's like it gets worse before it gets better, right? 795 00:40:04,981 --> 00:40:08,881 And so it's, as a leader, if you're leading your team through change, 796 00:40:09,031 --> 00:40:13,501 I love that Power Van because I can say it's getting worse. 797 00:40:14,341 --> 00:40:16,531 You feel frustrated because of it. 798 00:40:18,286 --> 00:40:19,666 If you push through, it will 799 00:40:19,701 --> 00:40:19,991 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 800 00:40:20,326 --> 00:40:22,726 Dallas Burnett: Like it will get better and you can keep on moving. 801 00:40:22,726 --> 00:40:23,806 We're gonna do it anyway. 802 00:40:23,951 --> 00:40:24,271 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 803 00:40:24,376 --> 00:40:27,796 Dallas Burnett: You are frustrated, but you can continue to push because 804 00:40:27,796 --> 00:40:29,596 when we push through, it gets better. 805 00:40:29,596 --> 00:40:30,616 And so you can do both. 806 00:40:30,616 --> 00:40:33,436 And I think as leaders, it's great to communicate that because I 807 00:40:33,436 --> 00:40:35,976 think as a team member, I'd find that very encouraging as well. 808 00:40:36,026 --> 00:40:38,846 that I, that we're acknowledging the pain, right? 809 00:40:38,996 --> 00:40:39,626 Okay. 810 00:40:39,866 --> 00:40:41,906 I just threw this CRM system on you. 811 00:40:41,906 --> 00:40:46,286 It is brand new and you hate it and you don't know it, and it's like hard. 812 00:40:46,871 --> 00:40:48,761 But, and 813 00:40:48,861 --> 00:40:49,081 Dr. Megan Buning: And 814 00:40:49,151 --> 00:40:50,021 Dallas Burnett: we can do better. 815 00:40:50,111 --> 00:40:53,351 And we can do better, and we can push through it and we, and when you 816 00:40:53,351 --> 00:40:54,371 push through it, you'll be better 817 00:40:54,506 --> 00:40:54,806 Dr. Megan Buning: yeah. 818 00:40:55,114 --> 00:40:56,074 Dallas Burnett: so yeah, I love that. 819 00:40:56,074 --> 00:40:57,459 I think that's a great tool for leaders Now. 820 00:40:58,819 --> 00:41:02,429 We were talking before the show and you were telling me about this, 821 00:41:02,429 --> 00:41:07,329 thing that you're involved in, and we actually live in horse country in the 822 00:41:07,359 --> 00:41:09,489 up upper upstate of South Carolina. 823 00:41:09,519 --> 00:41:12,539 And, and so you were saying how that you actually. 824 00:41:12,919 --> 00:41:16,279 Own a horse, but you don't just own a horse to go ride a horse. 825 00:41:16,579 --> 00:41:19,899 Your horse has a specific purpose as a therapy horse. 826 00:41:19,899 --> 00:41:25,589 So how does one, I mean your performance, per, I mean, you're a pitcher, you're 827 00:41:25,589 --> 00:41:29,279 FSU professor, and then all of a sudden there's this therapy horse. 828 00:41:29,279 --> 00:41:30,119 How does this happen? 829 00:41:30,179 --> 00:41:31,439 what, tell me about the therapy 830 00:41:31,734 --> 00:41:31,914 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 831 00:41:31,914 --> 00:41:36,014 So for those that have known me forever, since I was a kid, I 832 00:41:36,014 --> 00:41:41,714 actually am a horse girl and have always loved horses, but I just, when 833 00:41:41,714 --> 00:41:44,144 I got into softball, it's danger. 834 00:41:44,144 --> 00:41:45,704 So you gotta protect the arm, right? 835 00:41:45,704 --> 00:41:46,364 So we gotta 836 00:41:46,499 --> 00:41:46,769 Dallas Burnett: Yes. 837 00:41:46,874 --> 00:41:48,134 Dr. Megan Buning: not ride as much. 838 00:41:48,134 --> 00:41:49,454 There's the cost involved. 839 00:41:49,454 --> 00:41:52,244 So everything became focused on softball. 840 00:41:53,174 --> 00:41:57,524 And throughout the years I just didn't go back to horse riding 'cause 841 00:41:57,524 --> 00:42:01,094 I honestly, just to be very blunt, never thought I could afford it. 842 00:42:01,664 --> 00:42:08,314 And it was about two years ago, my husband said, you need to do something for you. 843 00:42:08,914 --> 00:42:14,134 And I told him, I said, well, I want to get back into horse riding and. 844 00:42:14,839 --> 00:42:16,939 He said, okay, so let's do it. 845 00:42:16,939 --> 00:42:19,219 And he pushed me a little bit 'cause I kept fighting him. 846 00:42:19,219 --> 00:42:22,819 So there's a performance lesson in here too, but he pushed me a little bit. 847 00:42:23,089 --> 00:42:27,469 So what he did is he went ahead and booked a family vacation in Colorado 848 00:42:27,949 --> 00:42:32,479 and he booked my daughter and I a four hour cattle drive on horseback. 849 00:42:34,604 --> 00:42:35,344 So it. 850 00:42:35,626 --> 00:42:38,326 Dallas Burnett: this isn't just okay, I'm on a trail behind a guide. 851 00:42:38,326 --> 00:42:40,936 My horse is known the way, and it just TROs along. 852 00:42:40,936 --> 00:42:43,356 No, you're doing a cattle drive for four hours. 853 00:42:43,356 --> 00:42:43,596 Oh my 854 00:42:43,596 --> 00:42:44,256 Dr. Megan Buning: Yes. 855 00:42:44,256 --> 00:42:45,186 And you're like 856 00:42:45,281 --> 00:42:45,401 Dallas Burnett: awesome. 857 00:42:45,516 --> 00:42:48,006 Dr. Megan Buning: helping to keep, there was like eight bulls in this 858 00:42:48,006 --> 00:42:51,036 herd, and so the bulls are staring at you and you're like, what? 859 00:42:52,086 --> 00:42:58,176 Well, obviously I realized, okay, I need to get back into lessons like quick. 860 00:42:58,761 --> 00:43:05,841 so the only western riding barn around was this barn that we are now affiliated with. 861 00:43:05,871 --> 00:43:10,281 And so we went out there with lessons and there was this horse 862 00:43:10,281 --> 00:43:12,891 in one of the pastures where we would pull our lesson horses up. 863 00:43:12,891 --> 00:43:16,521 My daughter and I, and my daughter was 14 or 15 at the time, and 864 00:43:16,521 --> 00:43:19,041 she fell in love with this one horse that was in the pasture. 865 00:43:19,041 --> 00:43:20,181 He was just kind of skinny. 866 00:43:20,181 --> 00:43:21,321 He was real tall, skinny. 867 00:43:21,326 --> 00:43:22,461 And I never understood. 868 00:43:22,461 --> 00:43:24,261 I was like, what is your deal with this horse? 869 00:43:24,261 --> 00:43:27,110 Like he's not even a lesson horse, but she just loved him. 870 00:43:27,112 --> 00:43:31,252 Well, kind of fast forward a few months and my daughter 871 00:43:31,252 --> 00:43:33,442 had been harassed at school. 872 00:43:33,442 --> 00:43:36,232 She wore her, she's in civil air patrol and wore her a BU 873 00:43:36,232 --> 00:43:39,622 uniform to school and just got totally trashed by the other kids. 874 00:43:40,612 --> 00:43:41,002 Yeah. 875 00:43:41,002 --> 00:43:45,292 So I called the barn manager and I said, can we, can she just 876 00:43:45,292 --> 00:43:46,882 pull this horse up and brush him? 877 00:43:46,882 --> 00:43:47,842 She loves this horse. 878 00:43:47,842 --> 00:43:49,552 I don't understand it, but can she do it? 879 00:43:50,482 --> 00:43:52,942 And we had never asked that before, and he said yes. 880 00:43:52,947 --> 00:43:57,175 So I sat there and I watched my daughter in her a, we went straight from school. 881 00:43:57,475 --> 00:44:01,696 I watched her in her abus, talk to this horse, groom him. 882 00:44:01,696 --> 00:44:02,776 I mean, he's three years old. 883 00:44:02,776 --> 00:44:03,556 He is really young. 884 00:44:03,946 --> 00:44:08,296 He was so calm, she was talking to him like a baby, and at that moment I 885 00:44:08,296 --> 00:44:10,576 said, there's something special here. 886 00:44:11,566 --> 00:44:16,366 So I started asking more questions about this horse, and he had not been, just 887 00:44:16,426 --> 00:44:20,836 the previous owner had too much on her plate and was trying to sell the horse, 888 00:44:20,836 --> 00:44:26,386 but the horse had not been really trained and we were not expert horse people. 889 00:44:26,476 --> 00:44:26,896 Right. 890 00:44:27,781 --> 00:44:28,131 Dallas Burnett: Right. 891 00:44:28,411 --> 00:44:32,341 Dr. Megan Buning: So throughout more conversations, we engaged with the horse 892 00:44:32,341 --> 00:44:36,451 a little bit and I thought there's just some, he's so calm and he's just a baby. 893 00:44:36,451 --> 00:44:37,411 He's really calm. 894 00:44:37,412 --> 00:44:39,412 And so we ended up buying the horse. 895 00:44:40,207 --> 00:44:41,167 Dallas Burnett: Wow. 896 00:44:41,324 --> 00:44:41,594 Wow. 897 00:44:42,609 --> 00:44:42,829 Dr. Megan Buning: and 898 00:44:42,944 --> 00:44:43,244 Dallas Burnett: a big 899 00:44:43,334 --> 00:44:46,644 Dr. Megan Buning: it was, and I had, well I had talked to my husband 900 00:44:46,734 --> 00:44:50,694 when my daughter graduated, maybe us looking at leasing a horse or, 901 00:44:51,594 --> 00:44:52,104 Dallas Burnett: right? 902 00:44:52,104 --> 00:44:53,634 Dr. Megan Buning: that was five years down the road. 903 00:44:54,114 --> 00:44:56,214 Well fast forward back that up. 904 00:44:56,214 --> 00:44:59,904 And we bought a horse within a year and it was one of those 905 00:44:59,904 --> 00:45:04,254 situations where, the dreams started to become more of a reality. 906 00:45:04,254 --> 00:45:08,244 So at first it was making, wow, you get to own a horse. 907 00:45:08,249 --> 00:45:08,969 you can do this. 908 00:45:08,969 --> 00:45:10,079 You've worked really hard. 909 00:45:10,079 --> 00:45:11,189 Here's enjoy it. 910 00:45:11,189 --> 00:45:11,579 Right? 911 00:45:11,583 --> 00:45:14,823 Then the more I started training this horse and working 912 00:45:14,823 --> 00:45:16,393 with him, it's a commitment. 913 00:45:16,453 --> 00:45:20,003 It's a, you know, four or five times a week I go up there and I work him. 914 00:45:20,003 --> 00:45:21,953 He has to learn to trust me, all the things. 915 00:45:21,953 --> 00:45:24,473 I have to learn how to communicate with an animal that can't 916 00:45:24,473 --> 00:45:26,438 talk A lot of lessons there. 917 00:45:26,973 --> 00:45:31,409 I just, there was just something special and I kept getting this 918 00:45:31,409 --> 00:45:33,029 sense of, there's more here. 919 00:45:33,599 --> 00:45:37,439 So I wanted other people to be able to enjoy him. 920 00:45:37,499 --> 00:45:40,139 Like we were fortunate enough to be able to enjoy him. 921 00:45:40,139 --> 00:45:41,699 So I thought, how can I do that? 922 00:45:41,729 --> 00:45:45,559 so I started just getting him out into the community, walking him up 923 00:45:45,559 --> 00:45:51,019 through the Publix parking lot, tractor supply, all the places, just getting 924 00:45:51,019 --> 00:45:52,489 him used to see how he would do. 925 00:45:53,349 --> 00:45:55,179 He never flinched. 926 00:45:55,779 --> 00:46:00,819 And so I took him out over Christmas to a senior living facility and 927 00:46:00,819 --> 00:46:02,559 we dressed him up as Santa Horse. 928 00:46:02,559 --> 00:46:04,299 My daughters dressed up as elves. 929 00:46:04,974 --> 00:46:05,934 Dallas Burnett: wow. 930 00:46:05,979 --> 00:46:09,999 Dr. Megan Buning: just visited with the residents there and it was amazing just 931 00:46:09,999 --> 00:46:14,309 the communication, how the residents lit up and the stories they told. 932 00:46:14,774 --> 00:46:19,154 And a woman came up to me and she said, I'm a therapist at the hospital here, 933 00:46:19,454 --> 00:46:21,224 and they have an animal therapy program. 934 00:46:21,224 --> 00:46:23,444 Have you thought about applying for that? 935 00:46:23,864 --> 00:46:25,424 And I didn't know they took courses. 936 00:46:25,514 --> 00:46:26,534 I thought it was dogs. 937 00:46:26,659 --> 00:46:27,199 Dallas Burnett: Yeah. 938 00:46:27,709 --> 00:46:29,269 Dr. Megan Buning: I did, we applied for it. 939 00:46:29,269 --> 00:46:31,279 We did, pretty extensive training. 940 00:46:31,759 --> 00:46:35,719 And my daughter and I became certified as an animal therapy team with this 941 00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:37,999 horse over, I think it was back in April. 942 00:46:38,644 --> 00:46:43,924 And yeah, so we take him to, some of the hospital settings and then we 943 00:46:43,924 --> 00:46:48,564 can be requested for special events and we visit with the patients, the 944 00:46:48,564 --> 00:46:53,004 therapist can use him as part of their therapy to get patients to stand up and 945 00:46:53,004 --> 00:46:55,344 balance, brush the main, all the things. 946 00:46:56,004 --> 00:47:00,384 and it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. 947 00:47:00,834 --> 00:47:01,924 so that's what we do. 948 00:47:02,589 --> 00:47:03,879 Dallas Burnett: that's what you do. 949 00:47:03,909 --> 00:47:05,360 That's so amazing. 950 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:10,110 And it's a cool spin because you wanted to do something for yourself, 951 00:47:10,380 --> 00:47:14,240 which was get back on a horse and have a horse and, and then yet the 952 00:47:14,240 --> 00:47:17,690 way that comes full circle is by doing something that you enjoy for yourself. 953 00:47:17,820 --> 00:47:19,800 you're really helping the community and the people around you. 954 00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:21,780 So, man, it doesn't really get any better than that. 955 00:47:21,780 --> 00:47:23,390 Like that's with the cherry on top. 956 00:47:23,390 --> 00:47:25,550 That's the sundae with the cherry on top right there. 957 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:30,010 and if you ever are in Florida and you see a horse walking through a Publix parking 958 00:47:30,010 --> 00:47:33,820 lot, you'll be like, oh, I, that's Megan. 959 00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:35,360 I know her. 960 00:47:42,565 --> 00:47:44,425 Oh, that is so great. 961 00:47:44,455 --> 00:47:45,715 Oh, that's so great. 962 00:47:45,715 --> 00:47:46,825 That is really great. 963 00:47:46,825 --> 00:47:50,335 and, thank you for the work you're doing with that because that, I know, is so 964 00:47:50,335 --> 00:47:53,905 meaningful to the people that get to experience the horse and whether it's 965 00:47:53,905 --> 00:47:55,405 part of therapy or just in the community. 966 00:47:55,405 --> 00:47:57,025 So that's really, really well done. 967 00:47:57,025 --> 00:47:58,255 well done, Megan. 968 00:47:58,255 --> 00:48:00,295 This has just been an absolute. 969 00:48:01,630 --> 00:48:01,990 Ben. 970 00:48:02,020 --> 00:48:06,550 just wonderful to talk to you and thank you so much for sharing your experience. 971 00:48:06,910 --> 00:48:07,720 all the wisdom. 972 00:48:07,780 --> 00:48:09,700 Oh man, I've just got notes everywhere. 973 00:48:09,700 --> 00:48:10,570 this is really great. 974 00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:14,620 I think mine is choosing to challenge your thought like that. 975 00:48:14,620 --> 00:48:17,530 Just that, man, I love that. 976 00:48:17,530 --> 00:48:18,280 I love that. 977 00:48:18,330 --> 00:48:21,540 And then the path, the road less traveled, the path less traveled mentally. 978 00:48:21,540 --> 00:48:22,530 I think that's really great. 979 00:48:22,770 --> 00:48:27,373 So, listeners if they want to find out more information about, your program 980 00:48:27,373 --> 00:48:33,203 at FSU or speaking, or, therapy, horse therapy, then how do people get in contact 981 00:48:33,248 --> 00:48:33,818 Dr. Megan Buning: Sure. 982 00:48:33,968 --> 00:48:38,578 So I think the easiest way is you can email me at m bunning 983 00:48:38,578 --> 00:48:42,898 m dot B-U-N-I-N-G, at fsu.edu. 984 00:48:43,318 --> 00:48:45,148 I'm also on social media. 985 00:48:45,148 --> 00:48:47,308 I have an X account at Dr. Bunning. 986 00:48:47,683 --> 00:48:52,533 And then on Instagram, at mental Megan, PhD and 987 00:48:52,573 --> 00:48:52,863 Dallas Burnett: Okay. 988 00:48:53,373 --> 00:48:53,553 Dr. Megan Buning: Yeah. 989 00:48:53,553 --> 00:48:57,123 So you can message me, follow the horse also has an Instagram account. 990 00:48:57,393 --> 00:48:58,593 A pal and bow. 991 00:49:02,133 --> 00:49:02,553 Yeah. 992 00:49:02,613 --> 00:49:06,183 But yeah, and I do travel around, to do workshops with 993 00:49:06,183 --> 00:49:07,743 mental performance training. 994 00:49:07,893 --> 00:49:10,983 so I'm absolutely open to do that kind of work too. 995 00:49:11,928 --> 00:49:12,558 Dallas Burnett: That's great. 996 00:49:12,558 --> 00:49:12,828 All right. 997 00:49:12,828 --> 00:49:14,118 We'll put all that in the show notes. 998 00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:15,648 So if you're driving, don't worry. 999 00:49:15,648 --> 00:49:17,418 It'll be there for you when you get where you're going. 1000 00:49:17,748 --> 00:49:23,118 And we always end the show, Megan, by asking guests on the show who they would 1001 00:49:23,118 --> 00:49:25,878 like to hear as a guest on the last 10%. 1002 00:49:26,133 --> 00:49:29,703 Dr. Megan Buning: I think for your listeners, I would highly recommend 1003 00:49:29,703 --> 00:49:33,993 Jefferson Fisher, and I don't know if you know about him, but he's a 1004 00:49:33,993 --> 00:49:39,963 trial attorney in Texas and he has become viral with communication. 1005 00:49:40,293 --> 00:49:43,043 And how to communicate, like a logger, he says. 1006 00:49:43,043 --> 00:49:46,493 But to be honest with you, there's some mental performance threaded in with his 1007 00:49:46,493 --> 00:49:50,773 style and it's just applicable and real, and he has some really good techniques. 1008 00:49:50,773 --> 00:49:52,423 I think that would be good for your audience. 1009 00:49:52,978 --> 00:49:53,608 Dallas Burnett: Okay. 1010 00:49:53,608 --> 00:49:53,998 Wow. 1011 00:49:53,998 --> 00:49:57,688 we'll have to reach out to, to Mr. Fisher and see if we can get him on the show. 1012 00:49:57,688 --> 00:49:58,528 That would be great. 1013 00:49:58,528 --> 00:50:01,948 Yeah, we'll definitely talk after the show and see if we can get him on the show. 1014 00:50:01,948 --> 00:50:05,188 Megan, thank you again for being on the show and, just wish you 1015 00:50:05,308 --> 00:50:05,778 Dr. Megan Buning: Thank you.