Welcome back to Become a Calm Mama. I'm your host. I'm Darlyn Childress. I'm a

life and parenting coach. And today on the podcast, I've invited Madison

Wetherill of cookathomemom.com

She's a food blogger, and she's on the podcast today

to talk to us about how to make preparing meals for your family more

joyful and easier. On this episode, we talk a lot

about the obstacles like time and overwhelm and just feeling

resentment about cooking. And we. And we give you some really practical tips

and tools so that you can overcome some of those obstacles and

maybe make meal prep a little bit more pleasant and

joyful for you. We also talk about how to involve your kids in the process,

how to get them more involved, which eventually will make hopefully, the

workload of meal prep lighter and easier for you.

So I think you're gonna love this episode because it's very practical and

very timely being summer. And Madison has also put together

a little mini meal plan for listeners of the

podcast so that you can have a resource going right

into the summer of Five Simple Meals. So you have

just right in your back pocket, a go to recipe list

and recipes so that you are ready to tackle a

week of summer parenting. You can get your

resource@cookathomemom.com show.

We'll also put that link in the show notes. So it's

cookathomemom.com show.

And I just think you're gonna love listening to Madison and I talk about

the struggles of food prep and all the challenges of that,

and then also some of our tips and strategies that we've created for

ourselves and that Madison has created for thousands of women and

parents in general to help you find this whole

meal prep thing less overwhelming. So please enjoy

Madison. Hi, Darlin. Hi,

Madison. Would you like me to call you Matt or Madison? Madison's

fine, thank you. I mean, you can call me either, really, but. Oh,

it's so nice to meet you. Thanks for being on the podcast. Yeah, you too.

Sorry about the delay. I was having some computer issues.

It's. It's fine. Life is like that. Yeah, I know. It's like

you feel like you're going to be able to just hop on and everything will

be fine. And then you're like, what is happening with my computer? Yeah, I just

did an episode of my podcast last week or the week before called Parenting

Pivots. And it's really like, when you think something's gonna go a certain

way, and then, like, someone has to poop or,

I don't know, they get sick or it rains or, like, no one wants to

do your fun activity. How do you handle that? And, yeah, it's like being able

to be flexible and flow. For sure. For sure. And I just.

I love your mission and even the name of your podcast. I'm like, yes, that's

what we need is to be calm moms. And that is, for a lot of

us, harder to do than we may have thought it would be. Yeah.

And I love that you're on the podcast because I want to talk to you

about your mission, which I was just reviewing my notes, and it was, like,

excited to help moms rediscover the joy of preparing meals that bring

everyone together. And I was like, rediscovering the joy. And I was

like, I wonder if some people have never even found it. Or that. Yeah, yeah,

exactly. It could be one or the other. Yeah. It's funny. And I'm sure you

feel this way about the work that you do. It's like you don't realize

maybe, like, how unique your own perspective is

about the work. Like, it's like, not everybody wants to be, like, in their

kitchen making food all day long. Whereas, like, that's like, my dream Saturday.

But realizing, too, it's not just, like, that's just how I'm wired,

and nobody else can be that way. Like, there are steps to take to be

able to. To enjoy it more. So, yeah. And you don't have

to want to be in the kitchen, but everyone does have to be in the

kitchen. Unfortunately, kids come to us

not able to make food for themselves. Even from the

beginning, the mother is nursing. Right. It's like, here is your

nourishment. Even if we don't nurse, it's like, the concept is

there that our job is to make sure you get enough calories

to grow. Right? Yeah, we have that job.

So we're already recording, girl. We're in it.

I wanted you to introduce yourself, tell us a little about you and your kids

and just kind of how you found yourself in this

food recipe blog world and.

Yeah, and then we'll go from there. Yeah, absolutely. Well,

like you've already said, but my name is Madison, Madison

Weatherill, and I'm the blogger and the mom behind Cook at Home Mom.

And basically over there, we share easy,

healthy recipes for busy families. And to your point, we

all have to eat, and somehow that food has to get onto our

plates. And a lot of the time, it is the mom who's sort of

the one who is brainstorming the ideas or doing the grocery shopping or putting

together the plan. You know, I've talked to a lot of women who, like,

maybe their spouse is the one that actually does the cooking. But oftentimes

it's still on mom's shoulders to kind of do the rest of it or be

a part of it in some way. And yeah, how I got

to this place, it's, you know, such a twisted, windy journey. But

the long story short is that basically when I got into college

and was in a dorm room where I had the ability to have a kitchen,

I started to quickly realize, like, I don't actually have any of these skills for

cooking food. I can make box Mac and cheese and that's about it.

And then fast forward a few more years. My husband and I were married and

all of a sudden there was two of us that needed to eat. And I

kind of quickly realized, like, I don't think pasta and like chicken

sausage is going to cut it for the rest of our lives. And I was

also working in a corporate environment that was very like kind of

blue collar warehouse type of work. And so when I came home, I just

wanted to like do something with my hands and I wanted to

create something. And so the kitchen became kind of my outlet for that.

And I'm completely self taught along the way. And just

other than like the odd cooking class here and there, I've just learned through trial

and error and it's now like one of my greatest

joys and passions. And like I said, you know, that's how I would spend a

Saturday if I had like alone time is I would want to just be in

my kitchen. U but I know that is not the case for most of the

people that I talk to a lot of the time. Cooking is very much a

chore and probably last on your list of things you want to do with your

free time. So I've just found a lot of passion in being able

to help people kind of rewrite that story a little bit and get to

experience cooking in a different way that hopefully isn't so

draining and all consuming. Yeah,

I have lots of thoughts. I like cooking

personally and I like being in the kitchen. I think that the drudgery of

daily, like the responsibility of kind of. I remember a long

time ago, one of my friends, it was the summer she had three little kids,

which you have three little kids. I want to introduce your kids too. But she

was like, you people need to eat again. You know, in the middle of the

summer where it's just like breakfast, snack, lunch snack, dinner

before bed, snack. It's just kind of constant. And I

love a big cooking day like on a Sunday or something, or a Saturday. And

I get to make a beautiful meal. But then it's like, I don't want to

cook on Monday, I don't want to cook on Tuesday. It's like kind of that

overwhelm. So tell us a little about your kids. Because

you're, you're, you know, cook at home, mom. So like, what's that about for you?

Who are your kids? Yeah, so I have three.

So to your point, there's a lot of food that they require and as they

get older, it's just getting, you know, worse in the sense of like, I just

ate, but I'm hungry again and that type of stuff. So they are nine, seven

and almost three. And we also homeschool, so we're just

home all the time, which means there's more snacks all the time and more meals

and all of those types of things. But it's been fun to

get to share that love with them and get to be

teaching them that from an early age, especially as boys. I think it's just

a life skill that's really helpful to have and

modern society. That's like kind of an expected thing as men. Like, it's not just,

it's not like it was when, you know, maybe our parents were growing up. So

it's been a fun thing to get to experience with them and teach them about,

you know, just kind of along the way. Yeah. I have two college age students

and my younger one who always has been a very

picky eater and we can talk about that as well. Cause I think that's one

of the obstacles that moms have. But he came home and I think it was

winter break and he's like, I want to spend this winter break learning how to

cook some stuff. I don't really know how to make anything. Kind of your experience

of being in college being like, oh, I don't know how to actually get food

for myself. He was in a dorm, so he didn't have the full responsibility. And

then my other one this past year was in an apartment. It was his

first time kind of figuring out food and he lost tons and

tons of weight because he just realized like, I don't really want to have to

cook all these meals. He kind of ate once a day and just whatever and

is not like underweight or anything. He had the freshman 15,

20 to lose, so it was fine. But yeah, I

think that you're right. It's a skill that is really easy to

not teach our kids. And I think really, as a

parenting coach, it's really because we're overwhelmed. And even in that Parenting

Pivots episode, we talked about how maybe you're gonna do Rice Krispie

treats or you're gonna make cookies, or you're gonna do something fun. And then all

of a sudden, like, I had a kid with adhd, he just in there eating

the sugar and being up on it and just overwhelm. And the

boys are bugging each other, and I just be like, forget it, you know, go

play. Because they played nicely. And I could be in my own little world in

the kitchen and putter and do my own thing, my own thing, which is

fine. But then later, yeah, it's like, oops. Yeah. And I think

your point about being overwhelmed is spot on. And I think

just the basics of cooking alone can be

overwhelming for people. And then when you add in maybe picky eaters

or dietary needs or preferences or

requirements for time or equipment, like, there's so many

complexities to it, and it's like, it's no wonder that it's

overwhelming. And then, you know, that's just one phase or one part

of life for a mom, and there's so many other things that you're managing. And

I think it can be really tempting to isolate yourself in

that experience. And I know we're going to talk about just kind of like how

to bring the family into it. And I think something that can happen over

time. I've told this story a couple of times where

now that my boys have some basic skills and they

can be helpful, it's no longer, like, as

stressful for me to invite them in. Whether that's because I want to cook

with them or it's like I'm on the clock and I need extra hands. And

so I'll say to one of my kids, like, okay, you start the rice, you

chop the veggies. And it's kind of like this, you know, this kitchen

experience like you would experience at a restaurant or something like that. And so

building those skills along the way when maybe you have those moments of

lower stress can be so helpful down the road when you do need

that extra help or you just want the extra help for whatever reason.

And that's been a really cool thing to be able to experience. Even though, like,

when they're little. I mean, my three year old now, there are times when I'm

just like, I just want to do this by myself. But I know that it

will pay off in the long run. If I am just like, allowing him to

be a part of it, giving him work that is like his own and that

he can, you know, he can really do with his skill level. I know that'll

pay off over time. So I try to be patient with it. But it is,

it is tricky, especially when you don't have maybe that desire to even be

doing it in the first place. Like, why would you want to complicate it with

adding, you know, little hands in the mix? Yeah, that's such a good point,

though. Not even maybe with cooking, but I find that with moms, when they're

teaching their kid a new choreography and it can feel

like, why bother? I might as well do it myself. But then you realize,

well, you might have to teach it for. It could be a couple weeks, it

could be a couple months, but then you have the next 10 years where they

have that skill and they are going to be in your family. I think about

that with emptying the dishwasher, bringing the trash cans in,

cleaning the bathroom, things that like vacuuming, things that I was like,

oh, this is so annoying to teach them. And now I am really glad they

are home for the summer and I don't have to tell them how to

do things. Sometimes I might still have to tell them to do it. Sure.

Because they don't have the awareness or the standards that I have,

but I don't have weaponized incompetence where they

say they don't know how. And so it's worth it for

sure. In all these areas. Yeah, yeah. Nine in seven cooking

rice. Yeah, yeah. Well, actually my nine year old, they both

could do this, but my nine year old has taken it kind of the next

level. He's usually the first one up in the house and so he has a

little bit more time. And he will sometimes just make the full breakfast for us.

I mean, we make pretty much the same thing for breakfast every day. So he's

seen us make it a million times, but we've also again,

brought him in, let him be responsible for cracking the eggs or stirring the

eggs or whatever it is. And so now, like, he can handle it. And

I mean, it's not a bad meal. Like, he makes it nearly the same that

we do, but it's that repetition of watching and doing

together and, you know, kind of going through that whole process. Um, but

yeah, it's exciting. And actually, I will say too, not to just to like,

show that this isn't some special thing that only my kids are capable of or

anything. He's not really the one who's, like, the most interested in being the kitchen.

In fact, he's the one who usually is kind of on his own doing his

own thing when maybe somebody else might be in the kitchen helping.

But even so, just, again, that repetition and that, like,

watching us do it has given him that confidence,

and it's just such a cool thing to see and experience and hope

that, you know, when he gets into college and has his own dorm or whatever

he chooses to do, he'll have a couple of those skills or at least be

able to, like, recall. Like, oh, yeah, I remember mom did this in the kitchen

one time. Like, it's more familiar to him. So that exposure

over time, I think, will build that skill, hopefully,

for sure. I'm smiling because my younger son

learned how to use his air fryer over this past year, and

he learned to make, like, rice and orange chicken,

and he started to sell it to hungry,

possibly inebriated college students

when the dorm was, like, when the kitchen was closed. So, like,

at midnight, and he'd sell it for super cheap, like, three bucks for rice. And,

you know, but he was making money from it, so it could also be

entrepreneurial. There you go. Yeah. I mean, there's a skill that no one else

has. So many skills that come from it. And, like, that's such a cool thing

that he was able to do that. It made me. I was like, you need

to do that more because you need to make money. Okay, so I want

to talk about the burden

of cooking. And I was thinking, like, I've once said, like, I

have to plan, procure, prep,

prepare the food. And it was like, there's

four steps in there that feel very

time consuming, or sometimes I get overwhelmed or

whatever it is. And I was wondering, what do you think is the number one

stress. Stressor that comes up for parents or

particularly anyone who's responsible for, you know, the meals?

Moms, eg. What do you think

it is? I have a guess. But, like, what's your thought on, like, what's the

most. The thing that's most stressful about cooking?

I think it is. It usually comes down to a few things, but the one

that comes, like, top of mind or is the most.

I guess the hardest pain point is the. The planning part.

And really that planning part breaks down into a couple of things. So I'm kind

of cheating by answering with a few things, but it's really like

having the time to make A plan or the time to prep

ahead, depending on which one you fall into. Um,

having a routine to make that meal plan. Because I think a

lot of people, that's just not something that they've done often, or maybe

they've tried it a few times, but didn't really create like a habit or a

system around it. Um, and then even within that planning too,

there's the question of, like, what to eat. So I mentioned earlier a couple of

things that can complicate, like, what to eat. Um, but a lot of the times

it's like I don't even know how to make a decision about, like, what's healthy

or what my family will like or, you know, what I can

afford. Like, there's so many complications within that. And so

sometimes it's less. Like, I always tell people, you know, I run a food blog.

But the, like, the problem I'm serving is not that you can't

find recipes. It's not that you, like, don't know what to make. There's

a literal, like a billion recipes on the Internet you can find things to

make. It's not knowing even like, where to start with, like, what do I

even want to have for dinner? That's part of the biggest

problem that I see is, is that what to have, what

to make, what will my family enjoy. All of those types of things within

that planning process. But I think it really comes down to the planning. Like

wherever you fall on that scale. There's thing that I just mentioned

that you're like, oh, yeah, that's what I struggle with. Or maybe it's all of

it. So, yeah, the planning part is really, I think, the thing that

is the most complicated. Yeah, it's funny because I was thinking

you would say time, but I think when you

don't plan, then you feel like you don't have time to

cook or you're not sure what to cook because you don't, you know,

you haven't thawed the meat or whatever it is. I

think you're right that it doesn't.

It's like getting in that mindset that just taking a little bit of

time to be intentional. And you know, we talk about

this, this podcast, like intentional

feelings, intentional thoughts, intentional routines, like

about our kids and really how can we do that to serve ourselves?

Like if you do a Monday morning plan and

shop or whatever, think about, like, how happy Thursday

night mom will feel. Like Thursday night you will feel

when you do that work and how much time you're

buying from the future and that I

Think that's really great to think about. Like, almost thinking about the

obstacle is planning. And I think you're right. I think it can be really

overwhelming. You can think, you don't have time for it. You're not even sure what

you should be planning or what to pick. And so, yeah, I

can see that. So what is your recommendation? Yeah, go ahead.

Well, I was gonna say even the example you gave of, like, time, because that

is one of the other, like, major things that I hear and experience myself too.

You can fix that issue by planning ahead. So if I only have

10 minutes that I can realistically cook dinner well, then I'm

gonna have to probably find time maybe in the morning or the night before. Like,

I'm going to have to plan ahead for that. Oftentimes, though, we're not looking ahead

at the calendar to be like, okay, when is my, like, crazy night? And

we're picking, like, the worst meal possible to have on that night,

or we're deciding that morning, like, oh, yeah, orange chicken sounds good tonight,

but I don't have the ingredients to make orange chicken. And then it's the last

minute grocery shopping and all of that. So I think, like,

any maybe more like, practical problem that you might have within

the realm of cooking usually can be solved by the planning

ahead aspect of it. Um, so I feel like that is the thing that,

yeah, can solve a lot of problems. It's just the

hardest one to, like, build a habit around because there isn't

this, like, necessarily this time sensitivity to

it or it just feels like it's like, yeah, I don't really need to do

that. I'll be fine winging it. But that's probably because that's what you're used to

doing, is just winging it. Yeah. Intentional living

in all the ways. Right. If you want to do something, if you want

to have something more peaceful than spending some time thinking

about how. How that could be more peaceful. Like, that is a

big part about mindset. It's like, how do I want to think and feel and

what actions do I need to take? And that is.

I love, I love it. Just kind of starting right there at planning.

Because you're right, it is challenging. So talk a little

bit about your process. And I actually just feel like I want to say this.

I think your website is really cool. Like, I've spent some time playing around on

it, and I almost wonder

if parents would find it more

useful to find one mentor in a space

and then just double down on that mentor and trust their process.

I think about with my own work. Like, I know people are listening to all

sorts of podcasts and parenting podcasts, and it can get a little jumbled or, like,

Instagram reel here and there. And it's like, if you

like Madison's food, you like the way it tastes, you like the way the website's

organized, just go there every week and then, you know, figure out

what you're making. I. I don't know. I just was wanting to add that your

website's great, and maybe we could all just pick your, you, you, and we'll just

follow you and we'll just do what you tell us to do. Well, I love

that everyone just go to cook at home, Mom. And yes, you can make whatever

recipes you want. Thank you for that, that plug. But yeah,

no, I think it really, that is something that I have discovered in

just kind of talking to more people about this. And again, I mentioned, like, there's

no shortage of recipes on the Internet. I mean, or even in cookbooks, right?

Like, you could just go to the library and find recipes. And that's not

really the major problem. The major problem is, like I said, the

planning. And so what that looks like for me, and I will just say,

too, I'm not, like, perfect about this, but I will say that the weeks

that I don't do this planning are the weeks that I am the most frazzled,

the most, like, you know, and again, that's coming from someone

who loves to cook. So it's not like an I don't like to cook or

I do like to cook, you know, that makes this possible.

But, yeah, those weeks that I don't make that plan, like, I'll be honest, this

is one of those weeks where I know I have the ingredients, but I don't

have the exact recipes that I want to make, like, planned out. And I know

there's going to be a little bit of scrambling for me at the end of

the day. I, like, am used to this and I enjoy it. So that's

not as big of a problem for me. But so my process

really is, whatever day you're going to choose for me, it's

usually Saturday or Sunday, depending on what we have going on. Um, I will

first kind of look at what we already have. So that might be, like, in

our fridge, if I have meat that maybe I got from Costco or the grocery

store and we haven't used yet, or in the freezer, because if I

can do one or two meals from, you know, meat that I already have in

the freezer, then that's gonna save me money and it's just one less thing I

have to decide on. And so I start with that just to see, like, what

do we already have that I can make something from? And then

could I ask you, is that cooked meat or usually raw? Usually

raw. I do every once kind of assess like how many grounds of turkey or

how many grounds do I have chicken breasts or what. Yep. But lamb chops,

like three months ago. I should probably use those kind of things. Yes, exactly.

Exactly. So I'm usually just kind of taking a mental inventory of like what we

have. There are like actual checklists that you can get.

We actually have one on our site for like a freezer inventory list. Um, for

me, I just don't. It's like that changes so often and I don't keep up

with like all of the changes. So just depends on how you like to

function. Um, but yeah, starting with that of like, what do we already

have? Can I pick one or two things so that I can use it every

once in a while? I will have like a marinated raw

chicken in the fridge or sorry, in the freezer that I can pull out that

makes a super quick dinner. I try to keep those as like my true emergency

dinners where it's like, I had no plan or the meat was bad once I

opened it. Something like that. So sometimes that's there

too, but. Or a recipe gone bad. Yes, like it

could be that too, sometimes. Yes. That's always a very sad moment when that

happens. And so then I look at my calendar. So I

kind of already teased this up a little bit, but I'm looking for like, what

do our nights look like? Do we have sports going on this week? Do we

have like a dinner that we're going to some at someone else's house?

Is there anything or even for me, like work wise, do I have things in

the late afternoon that are going to push up against that, you know,

dinner hour that's going to make it harder for me to just like throw dinner

together at five o' clock. I'm looking for those signs so that I can plan

super easy meals on those nights, or I can make sure I have the

steps, you know, like I mentally am like, all right, I need to make this

marinade ahead of time. Or I can prep these vegetables ahead of time, whatever that

is. And then I'm usually. So the other big thing that

I love to recommend to people is having a,

an ongoing list in your phone somewhere

that is your family favorite meals. You're obviously not going to have that to start

with. But every time you serve something to your family that gets a

positive reaction, write it down, write down where it came

from, put the book, you know, the exact link to that recipe or whatever.

And that way when you go to plan, you're no longer like, where

do I go on the Internet to find recipes? Or even starting with a website

like ours where, you know, there's still four or five hundred recipes on there. So

there's still some thought that has to go into like, what do I want to

make tonight? If you can pick two or three from that

list of ones that you know your family loves, then all of a

sudden like if we picked, let's say we picked two things from our

freezer and then we picked two things from our family favorite meal. And then

maybe you're a family that likes to go out once a week. Like now you're

down to two recipes that you have to like choose from the thousands,

millions that are out there. So all of a sudden you've like taken this process

and you've made it much simpler. You're no longer planning seven meals for the week,

you're planning two. And it's like, oh, I can do that. I can think of

like two things that sound good this week. So that's my process pretty

much every week. And I mean we have that family favorites list. I

reference my own website as well. And then I do have a couple of just

like tried and true websites that I know. Usually I know the food bloggers behind

them, but it's like I know I'm not going to make a bad recipe from

their site, so sometimes I'll go there. But it's very

rare that I go just to like Google or Pinterest and just type something in

because it's overwhelming even when I know like I could make

probably anything that I find online just from a skills perspective. But it's

just, it's overwhelming to have that many options and choices.

Yeah. To pick from seven different chicken taco

marinades. Like that just happened to me this weekend.

Yeah. I do just want to say a couple things. One, that it gets

easier you get, it gets easier, you get better at it. And

I remember I have this picture of me making my first chicken as like a

23 year old woman. And I had no

idea what I was doing. And now

I have some like things in my head that I could just

kind of drum up. I know what looks like a. I can kind of put

things together that'll taste Pretty decent. I do always

have. Almost every day, I have the feeling when I put food

on the table for my family, I think to myself, you did it,

girl. Wow. You made that

happen. Like, even, like 30 years later, I just feel so shocked

or whatever that I was somehow able to figure it out. But

that's just years and years of doing this work of, like,

prepare, you know, planning and going to the market with a list

and really thinking about it. And the other thing I was gonna say is,

so it gets better, it gets easier. But then the other thing I was gonna

say is, like, it can also be the same shit every week.

I don't know how come we have to get super fancy. And also just if

you have your favorites, just do that. Especially on busy

weeks. I had a family, like, an

easy week in my recipe

manager, and I would just get those ingredients. I didn't even

need the recipes. I just knew, like, I can make pasta, I can make tacos,

I can make burgers. Like, I just. There were certain things I just know how

to make. I don't need a recipe. It's not fancy. And then the other thing

is, like, you could also just serve the same thing every. Like, kids are

fine. It's okay. But the stress of it

is when you don't know what you're doing. Yep. Yeah.

Yeah. It's less about, like, I need to come up with something unique seven days

a week. It's more just, like, how you're showing up for

it, I think. And I often tell people, too, you know, even if

I kind of just gave a couple of examples of, like, how to not be

planning the seven meals for the week, but you don't even have to plan all

seven if you haven't. If, like, if you're planning nothing right now, pick one or

two nights where it's like, having a plan that night would be really helpful and

start there and build that habit that way. Because, I mean,

and it's funny, I was talking to another podcast host a week or two ago,

and she was asking, like, do you plan seven meals every week? And I was

like, you know, to be honest, I get by. I get to day five or

day six, and I'm like, I'm done. I'm. I'm like, I'm bored of this process.

Like, I'm just gonna. But again, for me, or whatever.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Serve eggs or something. Like, you can also

just kind of go simple sometimes. Like, my friend, I remember, she told me she

sometimes serves cereal for dinner. This was years ago. And I was like,

what? We could do that. Yeah. Or like, she's like,

I do sandwich night. And I was like, what we do? We could do sandwich

night. I got so excited about, like, that I can make it really,

really easy, that I didn't have to, like, be, you know, going

to the well and, like, getting new things all the time, that I could just

make it simple and easy. And I actually did, for a really long time

have. It was like, the simplest

family recipes ever. But it was really categories of food. So

Monday was chicken night, and I would go any direction. And then Tuesday was

bean or rice night. Wednesday was pasta night. Thursday was soup,

sandwich, salad. Go any direction. Friday, burgers. Saturday, doubt. Sunday,

breakfast, dinner. Years I did it that way. And

there's so much variety that you can find within those things. And I think that's

where people get a little bit stuck when. Because there's. There's really two

camps of moms that I've talked to. One are kind of the people, like you

and I who, like, we actually do love cooking. And so because of that,

we want variety. We want to, like, experience making something new.

And then there's the people who are like, I could literally eat the same thing,

like, forever if I didn't have to be the one picking what to eat type

of thing. But either way, like, if you want variety, well,

switch up your protein. If it's pasta night, like, don't make ground beef again.

Make something else. Make chicken sausage. Make, you know, use, like, a shredded

rotisserie chicken or something. Like, there's so many ways to

vary up. I mean, there's a million different taco variations. Taco

salad, taco bowl, taco in a hard shell, taco in a soft shell. You know,

like, there's so many things that you can do. And so I think

if you are feeling, like, overwhelmed or, like, I don't want to eat the same

thing again. It's like, how can you take what's already familiar to your family or

to you as the chef and just change it a little bit? Do a different

sauce, a different protein, a different presentation, and that's going

to keep it interesting and exciting, but make it way less easier or way

easier for you in comparison to, like, let me try something

brand new. I've never made with ingredients I'm not familiar with on a

busy night before soccer practice. Like, it's just not. It's not realistic to be able

to do that and, you know, feel good about the results in the end.

That's actually why I had trouble with those boxes, like,

meals coming from the boxes that were, like, home fresh or whatever they're called.

Hellofresh. I don't know what they're called. Hellofresh is one of them. Yeah. You know,

apron, Marley, spoon, whatever. I tried a lot through the years,

and really I was kind of learning a

recipe every time. Kind of like, wait, what is it

asking me to do? And it became almost more challenging because I had

to put a lot more. You'd think it would be easier, but

then it wasn't necessarily easier because I'm learning something new.

And it was almost easier for me to just go, like, I know how to

do pasta night in my family. That could look like a variety of different

ways. And that. That was like, I could

go super simple, or I could make it fancy, or I could go

ravioli, or I could go to lasagna, get frozen lasagna. It just came kind of.

I guess I decided to go based on, like, almost like a starch or whatever.

Like, the carbohydrate is how I kind of decided to do it.

And then. Yeah. Variation if I wanted it or not. So I think

the key here is really finding what works for you and do. And

just doing it and overcoming that

inertia or that feeling, like you said, where you're like, ah, I don't want to

do it. You know, it's not.

It's not as, I'll be fine. I'll wing it, you know, and then kind of

remembering, like, oh, yeah, that's why I do this. That's why I plan. Yeah,

yeah, exactly. It's like, you think it's going to be fine, and then that busy

evening hits, and you're all of a sudden, like, why did I not make a

plan for today? You know? And I think it just. It happens over

time that we get better at looking ahead and knowing that that's going

to happen. Um, and so that's why I just encourage people, like, start where you

can, and it doesn't have to mean, you know, like. And even

I. I mentioned dinners because that's the thing I think most people struggle with. I

don't plan breakfast. I don't plan lunch. I don't plan snacks. Like, I might every

once in a while say, like, oh, this would be really fun to make this

week, but it's not urgent, you know? But when it comes to

dinners, I really try to have that plan because

it's like, dinners are gonna roll around every single day, and it's

always at, like, kind of the worst time of day for kids, especially if

you've got little ones at home. And so if you have any like hope of

it being a non stressful environment for you, that plan, like, I

cannot stress enough how important that plan is. Yeah, it's so,

so helpful. I trained myself to think

about dinner at lunch. And

I don't know, I remember that kind of started for me when the

boys were really little and I would think about like for their nap, it was

an hour and a half. So 45 minutes of that, I would rest and do

nothing. I would literally just lay down and read. And then the

back 45, I would prep dinner.

So I would do like maybe I would ground the meat or

some kind of prep work so that I was a

little bit ahead. Because that is really difficult when you have little kids.

Those hours from 4 to 6 or. It was just so

challenging. And I think because of that,

I just did train myself to think about what are we having for dinner

around noon or 12:30? I still, my

kids are not at home this summer. They are, but I still think

about like that what are we having for dinner tonight? If I have a plan,

it's great. I know. Or what I do is I kind of pick

six recipes or five recipes and I kind of know which ones I should do

that night. Like, I look at it a little bit less. Well, my

schedule is kind of the same every day because I'm not driving kids to soccer

or whatever. But yeah, when they were little, I'd be like, oh, I gotta do

a crock pot meal or like an instant pot meal

at three while they're home doing snack because we're not gonna be back here till

7:30. You know, you can kind of, you realize that. But I

will realize, oh, what are we having for dinner? And then I

constantly notice that I haven't thawed any meat. And that

is one of my personal challenges is getting to dinner

and not having any meat thawed. The amazing thing

about being able to put frozen chicken breasts in an air fryer completely

changed my life. Not an air fryer, instant pot.

Yep. Or maybe an air fryer. Yeah, you probably could.

I actually, yeah, I was just talking to somebody about a recipe and trying to

troubleshoot that. Um, but yeah, there's other proteins too. Like if you have

frozen shrimp, like you don't have to thaw that. You can just throw that in.

Or it thaws in. Like really, it thaws really quickly. If you do need to

like thaw it a little bit. Um, but yeah, no, that is

100%. One of the things I actually just pulled my Instagram audience like

last week of just like, what is the thing that derails your meal plan?

And so many people said not having meat thawed because it's.

And again, it goes back to the plan. If you decide

at 12 o' clock that you want to make chicken breast and it's frozen solid

in your freezer, you might not get to that. You know, you might be

able to get it to thaw in time, but it's. It's really tricky. I do,

I do, I do. I put it in a bowl of water

and leave it out. I don't know. We haven't been sick in all these years

and usually it's thawed enough or I use chicken

tenderloins a lot now because they're really thin and they thaw really fast.

Yeah. But like ground turkey. Yep. Not probably gonna. I have a

trick for that actually. Good. This is something we've been doing recently. So if

you have like a package of ground. It really can work for any type of

meat. But we've used it a lot for like ground turkey or ground beef. If

you have two metal pans and you basically put it

in between those two pans, the. There's something about like the

conduction of that metal that will actually thaw it faster, but

not like, not super fast. Like if you were to throw it in the sun

or something like unsafe. Um, but it just speeds up that process. And

so with ground meat we can usually get away with like, if it's

like 3 o' clock, I can usually do that process. And then it'll still be

ready for dinner in time. So you'll have to try that if you run into

that problem. But we've been doing that a lot. We'll just do like our cast

iron and like a baking sheet on top of it. And it seems to work

really well. Yeah, it conducts that. It pulls the cold out. That's so interesting.

So let's talk a little bit about bringing the kids

in or the family in. Sell us on why it's good.

We kind of talked about like that it's good for the long term. It can

be really helpful like having your 9 year old make you breakfast every day. Like

I'm a fan of that. Yes. But also just kind of,

well, annual kind of said like he's responsible for it. He's like,

this is his little job. It's so good for building self concept and

agency and self belief. Like it's so great

for the skills. But what about just kind of the shorter term?

Kind of. What can it feel like when you're doing that? Like, what's the benefit

of it? Well, I want to kind of. I'll take you back to

my childhood a little bit, because I grew up in a home that,

like, I have very fond memories around food. I remember

eating dinner as a family most nights. I remember going out to restaurants and,

like, getting to experience that. Like, I have all positive

memories. That being said, I did not grow up with a family that,

like, really cooked together. My mom, bless her heart, she

dealt with a lot of, like, my brother and I being picky. Me especially, I

was very picky, which I'll get into in a second. And then my dad was

usually, like, trying some diet or, like, he changed to what he ate

a lot. And that was kind of very, like, 90s culture in a lot

of ways, I think. But so I grew up kind of

watching her detest cooking. And even now,

it's still not something that she loves, and it's still kind of a. Just a

thing that we differ on a lot. I love it. She does not like it.

And so usually I'm like, I'll cook. Don't even worry about it.

I say that to. To share that. I think what can

happen when we don't include our kids is we just create

this environment where it's like, that's mom's thing. And the rest of us

just kind of benefit from it, I guess.

And instead, if you can include your kids, it does. It just

does so many things. I mean, one, like I just mentioned, it brings the whole

family into the process of cooking. Oftentimes when I'm doing that meal planning

process, I will ask my kids, like, hey, pick a meal from our favorite list.

I give them the list specifically, because if I don't, they're gonna say

pizza, burgers, hot dogs. Like, they're gonna say something that they

want, which is fine. Every once in a while, we'll do those things. Um, but

then they. They're able to pick something that they like and they're familiar with.

Um, so that's like, one version of getting them involved. But

if you have children who are picky eaters or

who just have preferences, they don't even have to be, like, labeled as a picky

eater. Getting them involved in the entire process is actually

one of the ways that you can overcome some of that pickiness.

And we often think about, like, well, I just

want them to try a bite of it. And that's Going to make them like,

get over this pickiness. But what is actually going to help them long term is

exposure to it. And exposure to it can be chopping the

vegetables, picking it out at the grocery store, washing it.

There's so many different like touch points that kids can have that have

nothing to do with eating the food, but it's still exposure for them. And

that down the road could lead to them maybe trying it. Or

even when they're an adult, someone serves them broccoli and they're like, yeah, I remember

this from when I was a kid. Okay, I'll try it because I'm going to

be respectful or whatever. Um, and so if you have,

you know, those picky eaters, it can be something that is, you know, potentially life

changing for them in the future just to give them the opportunity to get

exposed to it in a safe way. Safe for them, I'm saying, because

that's one of the things about picky eating is it's, it's a safety thing. They

don't feel comfortable with those foods because they're new for whatever reason.

And so exposing them in more, I guess,

safe ways. Less charged. Yeah, less charged, less expensive, less

expectation. I always think about picking, eating. I think like if someone was

like, here, try these crickets. They're so good. Like, we love

to eat them so much. They're delicious. And if you showed them to

me, I'd be like, no. I remember going to something and they were cooked and

I was still like, I'm just a past hard pass. I'm not a picky eater.

And I was like, I'm not eating crickets. And I think that I had a

kid not. He had. Has a sensory

processing disorder. So his, his food restrictive

intake disorder. So it's like an actual disorder. So it's not just picky.

So that is really, that's what recommendations from the OT

and everything was like, be, be willing to be in the room with a new

food. Like sometimes we have to expose them to a new

food. Yes. In a very clever, creative way. And yeah, getting,

having it be on the table or if they're willing to like cut it or

pick it up from the grocery store and put it in the cart. Those are

really great ways of exposure. That's really good tip. Yeah.

And I think it just, even just hopefully hearing all of that, like those

examples that I just gave helps us. And we've kind of painted this picture already.

Like the actual moment of eating dinner is like,

that's the finish line. There's so Many moments between the beginning

of the process to that that kids can be involved in.

I think that's good news too, for, like, you know, some of the busy moms

listening that it's like the idea of including your kid at 5 o' clock is

like, no, please just leave me alone. So I can, like, get dinner done quickly.

But you can involve them in other ways that are still going

to create this culture around food where it's not just mom's

chore that she does, or dads or whoever's, but it's.

It's this experience that we're all having together. Um,

another quick thing that I love to always mention, too, is that even

within the cooking process, it doesn't even have to be them involved in the cooking.

You can involve them in the plating. So one of the things,

one of my boys is, I don't like to call him our picky one,

but he's the one who has more preferences. Um, and he

absolutely loves any time that we have, like, little toppings that go on something.

So if I can have a salad or a taco bowl or anything that it's

like, like he gets to put his own toppings on, he loves it. And

it's like such a fun experience. It's like a creative expression for him,

which is really cool. And so when I can incorporate those little

things, it's like instead of me plating his taco bowl as the example,

he can plate it himself. He can choose how much he wants to put in

his bowl, and then he's much more willing to be like, that cabbage is

really pretty with the purple color. I'm going to put it on my plate. Whereas

if I put it on his plate, he'd be like, I'm not touching that. Like,

I don't want that. And so that's another way that you can get kids involved

is like, in. Even in that after process of just like,

giving them the opportunity to decide what is going on their plate and how

much. And I know that's a hard thing to hear for a lot of

moms because it's like there's just more people in the kitchen, you know,

and so they. It might feel more complicated to do that. You don't have to

do it every single time, but if you can do it every once in a

while, it can go a long way in just that whole process as well.

Yeah, that's one of the tips for dealing with picky eating actually, is

plattering versus plating. And most of us plate our

children's food. And what that means is, like, you cook all the things

and you have five chick nuggets or whatever and you put it, you know, you

have a little handful of chicken and then you put some Mac and cheese

and, you know, two pieces of broccoli or whatever, you put it all on their

plate and then you hand them the plate and that's plating. It's like a restaurant.

Right? And platter is family style. And I, when I coach

on this, it's really so that the kids have a little more

agency over what they eat and they have more like what you're saying. They see

it, they make a decision, they bring it to their plate. There's a lot

more of a relationship to it. And also

it makes it like when you have that

platter, parents feel like, oh, it's very overwhelming. I don't want to put, I don't

want to add all these new dishes. And I'm like, just, just put the pan

out. Like, you don't have to make it fancy in order

to platter the food. You can just take the pan, get a nice trivet or

whatever, put the pan right on the table with whatever spoon you were

using and have them scoop it up. Like, we don't have to get crazy fancy,

but we do want kids to have that ability to make decisions. Or if they're

tall enough, they can come to the stove and do it. It's funny that you

say that because I grew up and my mom still does this. She

puts everything in serving bowls and we bring it to the table. And we've almost

never done that. Like, just as like with our family din, like just my

individual family, we always just like, serve from the stove or whatever.

But yeah, it's totally one of those things you just. And I say

this as a mom who has struggled with control over my having my kids for

the last 10 years. But like, you have to just let go of the control

just a little bit to let them be a part of it. And that can

look whatever way it needs to for your family. But the more you can do

that, the more you're going to be able to, like, experience that, the

whole thing with your family instead of it being so just,

I don't know, so stressful and so, like, it's my control. I have to

do it right, that type of thing. Yeah, right. If we want to be calm,

we have to let go a little bit, right? Yes. And really that

is the longer term way to get your kids to

appreciate food, to be more part of it. To take more responsibility

over it. It's funny. You said, you know, with your mom, she was like,

you know, in the. In the kitchen doing her thing. I think

I have done that with my family, but I don't think I've been lack

of joy about it. I don't think I've been grumpy about it.

But now that it's said and done, in many ways, I do think it was

a detriment to my family to have this concept,

especially raising boys. This concept of some woman in the kitchen and then being

yelling like, dinner's ready, and then they come to the table, especially when

it's plated. It's like, like, are you gonna tip me at the end of this

or what? You know, and then someone's like, I don't want that. You know, I

don't. I don't, like, well, and that's, like, so discouraging. I mean, like, I have

those moments every once in a while, too. Like, I've had my kids be like,

that's disgusting. And I'm like, great. Thank you. I just, like, spent an

hour in the kitchen making this. But I will say that I think those

moments become less and less the more they understand.

Even like, our boys. I won't say they do it every single night, but we

try to get them to, like, clear the table, and sometimes they're like, oh, my

gosh, there's so many dishes. And I'm like, like, you're right. There are so many

dishes. Because this is what it looks like to feed a family of five, you

know, but it's just, like, their awareness of that, because

otherwise, you know, it's like a restaurant experience. And to your point, it's like,

where's my tip? I expect 20%. Exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. And then you're back there also doing the dishes and the busser and

all of it. Yeah, it can be. You know, we. I think about this.

I say this a lot, like, this rescue, resentment cycle. So if we

overdo the jobs that our family can do,

we can end up. That's like, a form of rescuing. And if we keep doing

that without inviting them in, we can feel really resentful, and

that's that, you know what? I've cooked this, you

know, like, being angry. And that really is because maybe we have

not been clear about what we want or need from

our family, or we're overdoing it, or we're performative in our

parenting. It's like, it doesn't need to be performative if it's not your

vibe. And you make Mac and cheese. Make Mac and cheese. Like. Like, whatever it

is, include your family, make it simple for yourself, and try

to enjoy the ride just a little bit. Yeah. Yeah,

absolutely. Yeah. So is there anything else that you'd like

to remind us or share with us or, you know, like, at

last, like, you're like, if I only was able to tell moms one thing, what

would it be? Yeah, well, you kind of. You brought this up to my

mind when you just mentioned kind of the. Like, the rescuing or just,

you know, not kind of sharing what you need.

And this came up in another conversation recently. But if you

have a spouse who you can maybe share that with, have them be

the one that, like, leads the charge in. I always say the example, like, my

husband is very good about, like, every single night when I bring

the, you know, food to the table or we all sit down, he always says,

like, thanks so much for dinner. And now my kids repeat after him.

That's just how he was raised. He was raised in the South. Like, it just

is how he is. But. But my point is, like, if that's something that's

important to you to teach your children to

acknowledge the person who cooked for you, it's going to feel really awkward if you're

like, say thank you to mom for dinner. It's just not going to come out

right. But maybe you can include a spouse. Well, I did that actually because I

was a Hollywood widow. We're called in Los Angeles, your partner is

never really around Monday through Friday. So I was really

a single parent all the years until, like, Kevin would come home.

Literally, like, as they put the kids to bed, like, almost like a clock, almost.

And I did teach my kids to say thank you for dinner. May I be

excused? Yep. And they would not be able to leave the table until

they were allowed, and they would have to say thank you for

dinner. And it was weird in, like, the first, I don't know,

couple of months, I'd be like, what do you say? Yeah, thank you for dinner.

And now they both say it all the time, you know, and it's like,

if you want your kids to have manners, you actually have to be the one

who's like, say thank you to me. Yeah, yeah, for sure. But

I love the modeling from your husband. But if there's not one around, you can

just ask for it, ladies. Exactly 100%. And I think sometimes we're

just like, well, this is just how it is. This is just how cooking dinner

has to be. And so I think, to your point, just like, you know, if

you feel, I guess, exhausted by the whole process, like, get

curious about why that is. Is it the planning part that I

mentioned? Is it the time? Is it the budget? Is it the not knowing what

to make? Because there's different, you know, avenues and different solutions for each of those

problems. But I think so often we're just, like, quick to, I guess,

dismiss it, feeling away. And that's just how it is. And it's never going to

get any easier. And so I think for. For

anyone who's listening, that's just like, dinner again. Like, I'm here

again. Ask yourself why it's such a, like. Like stressful

thing for you, and then try to figure out if there's a solution. It doesn't

mean that you have to, like, 0 to 100, you know, overnight and changing

your entire approach. But maybe there's one thing, like, gosh, I

just wish my family would say thank you for dinner. Like, okay, like, let's start

there and let's work on the next step after that. But,

yeah, I think it's. We've covered plenty of times, like, it's

such a complicated thing, and I think most of the time, we think it's such

a simple thing. But give yourself some grace in the process, because it is a

lot that moms take on their shoulders when it comes to, like, feeding their families

dinner. And it's more complicated than just, like, cooking the

thing and presenting it to the family. Like, it doesn't even start. You know, it

starts way before that. Um, so, yeah, just give

yourself some grace and, you know, get curious about, like, how could I improve this

just a little bit? Because that's going to probably start you on a trajectory

of it being more of a positive experience. Thank you.

Yes. And that's what we want. More joy, more positivity,

more calm. Yes. So what's the best way for people to connect with you?

What's your favorite thing you tell people? Like, go to blank and

then you can check me out. Yeah, well, we've mentioned it a couple times, but

if you are looking for dinner inspiration, or any inspiration, really,

you can go over to cookathomemom.com and you'll find all of our recipes

there. We have air fryer recipes, just healthy recipes in general for

just whatever you're looking for and needing. I love to connect with people on

Instagram, and I always tell people, like, if you heard something I said in this

episode, episode, and it was like, yes, that made sense. But here's my unique situation.

Like, come DM me over there and like, I would love to talk to you

about it. That being said, the algorithms are not always like that

kind to us content creators. So joining my email

list is also a really great way to stay up to date with the recipes

that we're sharing and even like the collections. Like, I love to send

recipes. It's like five easy summer dinners and things like that.

And actually, I have a gift for your audience too, if

you're wanting to just totally take the guesswork out of it. I'll have a

free 5 day meal plan that your listeners can download just to be like, this

is what we're following this week. Let's just see how it goes. And so that's

the best way to kind of get onto my email list. So you can do

that by going to cookathomemom.com show, which

I'll obviously send that link to you to put in the show notes as well.

And then depending on when this episode goes live, I do have a new

membership community that's coming as well, which is called the Balance of Dinner Club.

And basically it's going to be weeknight meal plans that are delivered to you

to just completely take the guesswork out of what do I eat for dinner, what's

even healthy, and then lots of tips for just how to make that more

of a sustainable process in your life. So you'll be able to find that on

my website as well. Oh, congratulations. That's really exciting. Yeah, all

the planning taken out of the that part. You still have to go buy

it, you still have to make it, but at least you can take the brain

workout. That's so helpful. Exactly. Great. Well, thanks so much for being on the

podcast. Thanks so much for having me. It's been so fun. Yeah. All right,

bye.