00:00:06 Speaker 2: Have you ever noticed how the body doesn't just feel things, it remembers them like your jaw tightens before you even know you are stressed. Your chest gets heavy when you are fine. Your stomach reacts to a conversation you haven't fully processed yet. And maybe the real question is not what's wrong with me? Maybe it's what is my body trying to protect me from? And what is it trying to tell me now? Welcome

00:00:35 Speaker 2: back to the Soul Mirror. I'm your host, Shreya. And today we are holding a gentle, honest conversation about healing through the body, not around it. I'm joined by Cindy Lee, founder of the Underlying Answers and the creator of the Electromagnetic Body Desensitization Technique. We are talking about the when the body becomes a mirror for healing, how trauma, fear, stress can live in the body and what it can look like to release them in a way that feels safe, grounded, and human. If you have ever felt like your mind understand, but your body has not caught up, then this episode is for you. Welcome, Cindy. I'm honored to have you on my show.

00:01:19 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm grateful for the conversation.

00:01:24 Speaker 2: Thank you, Cindy and Cindy, before we get into like methods or framework, what was the first moment in your own journey where you realized, my body is speaking and I cannot ignore it anymore?

00:01:39 Speaker 3: I that's a powerful question because I came to a point in my life at around the age forty eight, where my body had been screaming at me for over thirty four years and I didn't know how to listen. It's not that I didn't listen, but I just didn't know how to listen in the way it needed me to. And, uh, it got to the point where it was saying, I can't do this anymore. And my body was starting to shut down. And that's when I knew I needed to look at everything from a different perspective. I needed to really sit down and ask my body, what are you trying to tell me? And that was when everything fell into place, that what I had been experiencing was my body trying to talk to me about healing my traumas, and really looking back at the original cause of all the dysregulation.

00:02:29 Speaker 2: Yes. I think that moment when pushing through stops working and listening becomes the only real option. And also a lot of people feel like also here, like the body holds trauma and they either romanticize it or dismiss it. What is a common misconception you see about body based healing that is actually slows people down?

00:02:57 Speaker 3: I think what slows us down the most is that we normalize it. You know, I just kind of accepted that I was allergic to everything and that there weren't really any good answers. And that was just the way that I was meant to be. And, um, you know, I labeled myself create an identity around it and just kind of moved on from there, you know? Never really stopping to think what is beyond this? What's the actual reason and not the actual biological reason, but the actual message from my body. That's where everything changed because I sought out biological answers for a long time, but I had never sought out spiritual, energetic, and emotional answers, which is where the key that was the key. Mhm.

00:03:48 Speaker 2: Yeah. And when someone believes that misconception, what tends to happen, like emotionally or physically.

00:03:58 Speaker 3: When we create behaviors around it, right? So the more I was allergic to something, the more every allergic reaction that I had really enforced my belief that I was allergic to everything. So it became this this cycle of believing and, and my body proving to me that my beliefs were right. So that is what, you know, I created this identity around those beliefs. This is just who I am as opposed to really pushing against it and trying to understand it more.

00:04:36 Speaker 2: I think that's such an important distinction because it protects people from blaming themselves. So instead of I am broken, it becomes I'm patterned and patterns can change.

00:04:49 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely. And, and patterns around, you know, our beliefs, patterns around our biological patterns, the actual physical responses in our body's cellular patterns, mental emotional patterns. Um, you know, if you look at your at the things that aren't really serving you in your life, what's really holding you back? Most of those can be tied back to something from the past, right? So our behaviors become a signal, a message to us about something that needs to be healed just as much as our physical message, our physical symptoms. And so when we're willing to pause and look at what got me here in the first place, how did I take on this identity? How did I learn to behave in this way and believe this truth about myself?

00:05:49 Speaker 2: Yes. And also, when you say people are living beneath survival patterns, I think so many listeners will feel that in their bones. So what do you notice as the root pattern underneath a lot of chronic symptoms, whether it's Anxiety, pain, fatigue, or like overwhelm?

00:06:12 Speaker 3: Well, I'd say that it's stress is the number one factor. You know, trauma and trauma is a is a big word in this world right now. But we have to realize that even something that might seem small could have shown up as traumatic in your body. You know, trauma changes how our cells behave. And it could be something really small, or it could be something big that we consider to be a trauma. For me, it was, you know, three pretty large traumas. But for a lot of people, it's just, it's even a pattern of behavior. I'll give you an example. I was raised in a beautiful family. I was very blessed to be raised in a very functional, healthy, you know, family. And at the same time, when I would cry, my mom would say, keep crying. I'm going to give you something to cry about. Right? So I learned early on that crying wasn't okay. Now, she didn't mean to do that. That's just how she. That's what she knew. But that pattern became a trauma to me because it stopped me from actually allowing myself to cry and to feel things. You know, I used to we used to get taught. There's so many people that have so much things so much worse than we do. We're so blessed. So all of those were good, healthy messages that kept us, you know, strong and getting through hard times. And at the same time, it kind of pushed us back from and I say us, but for me especially, it kind of pushed me back from allowing myself to feel the feelings and to talk about what happened to me, the traumas and the different things that happened to me. So my body learned to process those emotions somatically because I shoved them in and chose not to, you know, not to feel them. And that's nobody's fault. But it became that that message that we had that I can't cry or that you know, I need to stay positive. Became a trauma in my body in a way, because it became a message that wasn't healthy for me. And it created biological cellular events in my body that reinforced the the idea that I can't cry and I can't share my emotions and I can't talk about hard things.

00:08:34 Speaker 2: Yeah. And how do you help someone tell the difference between my body is in danger versus my body is in a memory of danger.

00:08:46 Speaker 3: Oh, that's such a beautiful question. Both of them are danger. Both of them are going to create the same Sympathetic nervous system response, right? So trauma activates survival biology, whether it's survival in the moment or survival memory. And so it is actually very difficult when you're constantly being triggered back into those moments in time of that you were trained to survive and you're constantly being brought back to that moment in time. It's really actually pretty difficult for an individual to decipher which one it is. The key is the body doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when it comes to addressing it, whether it's from the past or it's current. It's something that your body wants you to feel and and express and acknowledge. So if you're having that, you know, safety response, right? That fight, flight, freeze response, whether it's from something right here, current in the moment or it's from the past, the key isn't trying to figure out exactly where it's coming from. The key is acknowledging that it's there and that's where the power comes from. That's where we start healing is acknowledging and just sitting down and listening to the body. And when you learn to listen at a really deep level to your body, eventually you'll start to see actually where those time period where that, you know, the signal came from. But the first step isn't trying to figure out where it came from. The first step is acknowledging that it's there in the first place, not overwriting it, not shutting it down, not ignoring it, and really just expressing and loving on the emotions that are trying to show up for you, no matter what the reason is.

00:10:35 Speaker 2: I think that's really lands because so many people are walking around with a nervous system that that has been like loyal to them, just maybe a little too loud for too long. And, uh, let, let's make it every day. Like when the body is mirroring what is unprocessed. How does that usually show up? Like what are the subtle signs people ignore before the body starts shouting?

00:11:06 Speaker 3: Well, this the the symptoms can sometimes come on and shout immediately. Like for me, everything. Just at age fifteen, I went to bed one night perfectly fine. Woke up the next day with rashes all over my body and ended up being allergic to everything. And so for me, my body started screaming right away. But for a lot of clients, our body is kind of speaking to us early on and then shouting a little louder and louder and louder because we don't know how to listen. And I'd say that the thing to recognize is that we often as humans, don't address our symptoms until they're so bad we can't tolerate them anymore. And so we're bypassing many signals that our body is giving us until it gets so unbearable that we have to address it. So the key is learning to listen to your body early on to to stop. I call it a purposeful pause, to take a pause and acknowledge, oh, why is my stomach kind of irritated right now? Or why do I feel this anxiety or this nervousness? Maybe it's not anxiety yet, but it's nervousness right now. Or, you know, whatever the symptoms are, whether it's an allergic reaction or it's a, you know, a muscle issue or it's thyroid, I mean, inflammation, there's lots of different ways that our body will signal us that something is off and needs addressing. And the key is, you know, are we are we listening to what it's saying as opposed to just trying to fix it? Right. So when we have inflammation, we start to think, oh, what am I eating? What medicine do I need to take? And we look at fixing the problem as opposed to listening to what the problem is trying to tell us. And that's the difference. That's the key right there early on. The earlier the better because the louder it has to scream. That means that our lives, the dysregulation is really increased and it's and it, you know, it gets harder and harder on us. So the earlier we start to listen, the more we really pause and ask the deeper questions. What do you want me to feel? What do you want me to know? As opposed to what medicine can I take to stop this? Um, you know, we it's about slowing down and listening as opposed to just covering it all up, because that's what we do early on as human. It's kind of a natural thing just to cover it up or ignore it and move on when it's not too bad. And then all of a sudden we find ourselves in, you know, in this very bad state that we can't ignore anymore. And by then, it's a lot bigger recovery to bring ourselves back to what our body is actually trying to tell us.

00:14:04 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, uh, and also for someone who is functioning high, doing the job, showing up for others, what is one sign that looks normal on the outside but is actually a red flag on the inside?

00:14:24 Speaker 3: Well, I would say if for high functioning individuals, a pattern of behavior is to just keep going, keep going, keep going. That alone, that behavior alone is a message from your body. What am I ignoring? What do I not want to address that I keep pushing through, right? I push through for years. And I, you know, I did great with all my allergic reactions. Like I was very ill a lot and I still raise three kids and went to school and, you know, got a degree and started my own business and I did it all, but at the expense of my health. And so when we look at our behaviors, whether it's, I don't really want to leave the house right now because now I'm afraid to go outside or it's, I'm going to keep going, keep going, keep going. I don't have time to stop and pause and think about all of this. That alone, when you're not in harmony with balance in your life, that alone is something to stop and listen to. So, so it's really looking at, am I pausing for myself? AM I taking care of me as much as I'm taking care of others? And if not, what messages? What? How is my body trying to tell me that? Is it through a behavior? Is it through an identity I've taken on? Is it through a physical symptom? Is it through, you know, depression or anxiety? Or am I coming home and drinking a lot at night and covering up like, what are the ways that I. Might my body might be speaking to me that I'm just kind of, as I mentioned earlier, normalizing. But it's really not normal. It's actually covering up, hiding and protecting myself.

00:16:13 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think sometimes the scariest thing is not falling apart. It's it's being, uh, so good at holding it together that your body has to carry the weight alone. And Cindy, let's talk about it. Like you, you created it and, uh, you describe it as bridging Western science, eastern practices, spirituality, and scripture. For a listener hearing this for the first time, how do you explain what it does in simple human language?

00:16:46 Speaker 3: Great question. Not an easy answer, but I will try. So it works by identifying where the body is still responding, as if the trauma is happening right now. You mentioned earlier that, you know, how do we know if it's happening now or if our body's responding to something now, or if it's responding to something from the past? And it's really hard to know that because in the moment, your body's responding to something it thinks is happening now, even if it is responding to something from the past, right? So it gently desensitizes those responses in the nervous system and allowing the nervous system to return to regulation. So it tells the body it's okay. We're safe in that environment. We're safe in that moment. And then it heals the patterns that were created from that event, whether that pattern is physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, energetic. Um, it addresses and brings it your body back to homeostasis based on that one timeline event, that one life event that we were working on. So it doesn't force change. It allows the body to release outdated survival patterns if that makes it easier to understand. Um, so it's releasing the outdated survival patterns so that our body remembers, oh, I am safe with that. Oh, that feels good. I don't have to worry about this anymore.

00:18:22 Speaker 2: That's really amazing. I love that it orders space because healing is not an event. It's I think a relationship and trust is built. It cannot be demanded. And also, let's talk about what happens when someone starts healing and then symptoms flare, emotions rise or life gets chaotic again. What do you want people to understand about setbacks so they don't interpret them as failure?

00:18:52 Speaker 3: That's a beautiful question. And I think, you know, setbacks is a big word and we see it as a setback, but it really depends on the situation and what's happening. Sometimes life just gets in the way, right? Sometimes we're in this beautiful healing environment and we're, you know, going through the process and we're healing our past and we're feeling good. And then something big happens in our life that kind of puts a stop to it. That's that's basically allowing yourself to pause the healing from the past and address whatever's happening right now. So all of this is about being in the moment. And as you're going through the healing process, sometimes it can feel hard, it can feel difficult. And the thing to remember is once you start understanding what your body is actually healing and letting go of that piece is so much bigger than the difficult challenges that are coming up in the midst of it. And so it's, it's acknowledging, yes, this is hard and living with this for the next twenty, thirty years would be so much harder, right? So it's all of it is about being conscious with what you're feeling in the moment and how you're feeling it, and acknowledging that things are looking a little, um, more difficult or a little more challenging right now. But how much more challenging would it be if I didn't address this at all?

00:20:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's such a compassionate reframe. Uh, not I'm back to zero, but my system is integrating. And I think that alone can reduce so much of shame because say, shame is really loud. And also for my listeners who feels exhausted, like they have tried so many things and their body still feels like a battlefield. What would you want to say to them right now so they don't give up on themselves?

00:20:48 Speaker 3: Oh that's beautiful. I would say that your body knows the answers. Sometimes we look all outside of ourselves for all the answers. And so sometimes that exhaustion just comes from not even knowing the right direction or from trying all these different things that we've tried and still not getting the relief that we're seeking. And so, you know, my hope would be that we start learning to turn within and tune in because your body knows the answers that it needs. It knows what's going on, it knows what it needs to heal and why it's communicating the way that it is communicating with you. And the more you get in touch with your body, the more you'll start to understand that and you'll feel a lot more hope and excitement for your future. Uh, it's when we don't know if this is ever going to end. It's when we don't know if there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's when we don't know what the actual cause is that can get us to looped up. And so much of that comes from our mental brain. And so when we turn to our heart and we turn in words and we ask your body, show me because your body is incredibly intelligent. You know, I my theme is restore the design. Because we are designed to live in harmony. We are designed to live in peace and joy, and to have the things that we want to have and do in our life. And then we have what's called Wu, which I call Wu, which is w h o worldly hang ups or w h u worldly hang ups. And those are the things that come into our life for a reason, whatever that reason might be. And, and our body tells us, I want you to heal this. Let's look at this. And so when you start building a relationship with your body that says, I'm going to listen to you and I'm going to heal you, I'm willing to put in the work for you, and I trust that you're going to heal it. It re-establishes a level of hope within yourself. Um, you know, even with Ebrt, ebrt does not heal anybody. It reminds your body how to heal itself. And so that's the beauty is turning within and recognizing and, and that, that your body is like the closest thing to God in your life. Whatever your religious background is, whatever your spiritual background is, your body is pure divine love, pure divine, um, truth. And the more you listen to it, the more you tap into the messages it's giving you, the more connected you get with your body. Um, the more peace and harmony you're going to have in your own life.

00:23:43 Speaker 2: Yes. This is so beautiful. And thank you for sharing this with my listeners. And if one thing I'm taking from this conversation is that your body is not betraying you, it's just communicating with you and it can learn safety again. And Cindy, this is truly a very wonderful conversation. Thank you for sharing so much of your wisdom, your experiences. And if after this, my listeners want to connect with you, then what's the best way.

00:24:12 Speaker 3: They can reach me? You can reach me at Cindy. Com that's C o s t l e y dot com. That's the best way to find out all about me and what I do.

00:24:24 Speaker 2: Yes. And I will make sure to attach all these details and links below so that the listeners can find them easily and get in touch with you. And to my listeners, it's something in today's conversation start you. Then please take a break with me. You don't have to force healing. You don't have to perform strength. You just start with honesty starts with listening. And if this episode helped you feel a little more understood in your own body? Then share it with someone you love or someone who silently carrying too much. I'll see you in the next episode. Until then, be kind to your nervous system. It's been trying to protect you for a long time. And do not forget to hit the follow button. Subscribe and feel free to share your thoughts because your ears deserve premium content. Thank you.