Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host, Aurora, licensed life coach and

companion on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you

feel good, I hope you feel supported, safe, loved, I hope

you have everything going for you. And if not, I hope I can be

a value support you to bring you back to center to help you

ground and find space, to take really good care of yourself and

to find out how you can be and show up as the best version of

yourself. Today I want to talk about pain, and especially about

identifying with your pain. Let me explain a little further

here. Sometimes we go through difficult situations. Sometimes

we remember difficult situations from back in the day when we

were children. And in one way or another, we now have identified

through our pain. What do I mean by that? Let me give you some

examples. Let's say you grew up with an absent father. And this

affected you so much influenced you so much on how you perceive

the world that you didn't notice that over time. Now that you are

an adult, it still holds you back from living a fulfilled

life. Because you don't feel deserving of attention and love.

Because your dad attention and love of your parent back then

was missing you, on a subconscious level still believe

that this is normal, and has to be carried out in not allowing

people to come close to you because you don't feel

deserving. A rape victim for instance, can never get over the

pain of being raped, and totally identify as a victim and take

that into adulthood into old age. And by not healing that

wound by not taking in that pain as your full on identity. You

could be living a life that is more fulfilled. Yes, you went

through pain and trauma in the past. But we can learn to heal

from that. And to let go from a victim identity. And at first,

it sounds like an attack to your sense of self, to your whole

being because for so many years, you have carried that pain

around and it became normal to identify through that pain. But

what I want to talk about today is Does that still serve you?

And if it doesn't serve you can we learn to let go of it. A lot

of you people know that my dog went missing two weeks ago now.

And I had a very hard time to stay aware of that feeling of

wanting to drift into a very painful state of mind and

emotional state of being because the pain was so intense. The

grieving was so yeah, so much that I thought this is it. This

is part of my personality. Now when people will get to know me.

I will tell them first thing. I miss my dog. I'm in pain because

my dog is not around anymore. And maybe you can see through

that examples. that, if I was going to do that for decades, I

would hold back from living a fulfilled life, I would keep

myself stuck in an identity that doesn't serve anybody,

especially not my dog, but also not me. Maybe you are a widow,

maybe you have lost a loved one, maybe you went through a

heartbreak, recently through divorce. Maybe you had a car

accident a decade ago, and you're still limping. Because

that's how you learn to cope. But if we were to look at your

body, and if we were to train, and heal certain parts of your

body, we might find out that you don't need to limp anymore. But

you are limping, because you had that accident. So long ago, you

are shutting yourself out from community and socializing,

because you went through emotional pain of divorce and

heartbreak. And all the other intense pains that there is out

there that a human being can suffer through, goes through. So

I want to invite you to look at yourself, and to maybe write

down what you think you are made of? And from what you're writing

down? How much of it is past pain that you still identify

with? Or do you identify with the location you were born in?

The job you're working? The role you're playing in your community

or your family? How do you what do you identify with? It is

very, very important question to ask yourself, because this is

how you perceive yourself. This is how you're going to show up

in the world. And if you are not aware of what your system, so to

say is running on, right? If you were to look at your brain, your

emotions as a computer system? What is your hardware made off?

What's the software made of what are you downloading on a

constant? What can we fixed? What can we let go off? What are

some new stuff you want to download in order to live a

content life, a fulfilled life? What is it that you identify

with? That you really don't need to identify with any more,

because it belongs to the past, you have done some healing on

it. And now you can move on from that level of pain into a level

of growth. This is what I want to talk about in the next couple

of episodes is post traumatic growth. We all too often talk

about the post traumatic stress and know that it is deeply

affecting us on a mental and emotional, sometimes even

physical level. But what we also need to talk about is that

stress and trauma is not always crippling us. It is always

painful. It is always uncomfortable, because it means

change. But sometimes the exact trauma that we went through is

what makes us more resilient, more compassionate in the

present. And we need to recognize this more and more. We

need to make people aware of that it is a possibility. Not

everybody who went through trauma is now going to be

growing from it and become a superhuman human. But it is

possible. You can become a very valuable, heart driven leader.

This is what I believe at least, if you have gone through intense

pain and trauma, and have healed from it, because you know what

it means like to go through pain, you know what it takes to

heal and to move on. And you can inspire others to heal and grow.

But you can only do that if you are willing to not fully

identify with this past pain anymore. But to identify as a

person who is able to let go, reflect, and then expand and

grow and share with others. And I really hope that all this pain

I had to go through right now is, is going to help me serve

you guys and girls out there better in the future. I have to

do something with that pain. And I really want this to transform

me for the better because I know, a couple of days ago, I

was feeling like balancing on a thin chord where I could fall

into deep bitterness and depression or into a direction

of acceptance and healing and growth. So this is what I'm

working on right now. This is what I would love you to reflect

on for now. I will be out there very soon. Again, thank you

endlessly for being here. I hope I was able to bring you value

and bring you closer to yourself. If you like my

content, my podcast please consider making little comment a

review. And yeah, that would help me a lot. All right. take

really good care of yourself. Until next time, bye bye