Do you ever wish that you could just sit in on someone else's thought process as you hear them talk through their own problems in their business and in their personal life?

Like, maybe if you could just hear the way someone else works through their problems, it could maybe give you like a little eureka moment, a little light bulb moment to help you solve your own problems.

Well, my friend, if that is you, you are in the right place today.

I want you to think of this particular episode as kind of like an inner circle episode where I'm going to pull back the curtains on the specific season that I am in and the specific issues that I'm dealing with in this specific season.

Now, I am in a season of It's a beautiful season.

Okay?

I'm experiencing a lot of growth and a lot of momentum towards very specific goals that I have been working towards for a really long time.

And all of that is exciting.

I'm so thankful.

And I'm also scared I'm gonna ruin it all.

Okay.

I am scared that I'm gonna self sabotage and everything's gonna crumble around me and it is requiring me to become a different person.

And honestly, it is not something that I expected.

So it's catching me.

It's catching me off guard a little bit.

It's a little uncomfortable.

I'm not gonna lie.

And I'm gonna touch on all of that today.

Like I said, I am pulling back the curtains because others have done this for me and so I want to do that for you as well.

So I'm going to talk a little bit about marketing challenges and some business challenges that I've been experiencing.

But a lot of this is going to be internal resistances that I am currently working through.

A lot of the business problems that I thought I had and a lot of the marketing problems that I thought I had were actually internal.

And yeah, I'm just going to be raw and real with you today.

So if you were nodding your head like this and you're like, yeah, that's where I'm at and that's exactly what I'm feeling, then settle in because this episode is for you.

Okay?

I've got some notes behind you that I'm going to reference.

I'm going to try to not ramble, but I also want to give you the thought process behind all of this.

And I don't have it all figured out, but I am definitely giving it my all and trying to figure it out.

So I am currently in a new season that I've never been in before where I am going deep on a project and a topic instead of spreading myself out against a variety of goals.

So I am writing a book.

And this book is not just a book.

It is the foundation of everything that is to come after the book.

So simultaneously, along with writing the book, there are a lot of projects that kind of branch out from the book.

And all of that means that the book is really important.

And that puts me in a different position than I've ever been in before, because I have never worked on an asset before in my life, all of my jobs before.

So for a little context, I was 12 year career.

I started at 12 years old in the restaurant industry.

I was in wine and spirit sales.

I was been in real estate for seven years.

And all of those careers have a beginning, a middle, and an end when it comes to projects.

Now, the projects might vary in length, but there is a beginning, a middle and an end.

And in some cases you're going deep.

Like with real estate.

I got, you know, a lot of certifications.

I did a lot of outside training and I read a lot of books.

But in general, a lot of the work is just making sure that the process moves along.

There is an end point to the work itself.

But with the book, there is no defined beginning, middle and end.

There are so many layers, and I am having to choose which layers are important enough to dive into and which ones are not.

And it is the most uncomfortable thing that I've ever done in my whole life.

I've wanted to write a book forever.

I'm so excited and passionate about it, and it's still the most uncomfortable thing I've ever done.

Both of those things are true at the same time.

It is really requiring me to think from a different part of my brain.

And I almost compare it to the difference between lifting weights and going to a Pilates class.

So I am trying at least to be in my fitness era.

I want to look amazing this summer.

I've got a lot of speaking engagements in 2026 and 2027.

I've got a lot of public facing things.

And to be honest, I want to look really good.

So I've been lifting really heavy and I've been really enjoying it.

And I had a friend recommend that I add some Pilates in.

And in my mind, Pilates has always been like a waste of time.

I'll be so transparent that Pilates was weak.

You know, it's something that you do on rest days because you got the light weights and you're not really doing anything.

And boy, Was I wrong?

Lifting weights and Pilates are so different.

You know, with lifting weights, it's very like rep heavy.

It's like get as many reps as possible and lift as heavy as you can.

With Pilates, it's really about.

There's fewer movements, but you're sitting in the movement longer.

And the resistance that you feel in Pilates is so difficult.

Like, I am.

I will be like dripping sweat, holding like a three pound weight.

And that is exactly how I feel writing the book.

It felt like everything I've done up to this point has been lifting weights.

And now that I am bringing a movement to life, it is like sitting in Pilates.

And it is so painful.

It is so hard to sit down and get all your thoughts organized and write a draft and hate the whole draft and delete the whole draft and then write another draft with a slightly different flavor and tweak and tweak and tweak.

And then you form a thesis, and then you have to defend the thesis, and then you have to take the thesis and turn it into something that people actually want to read.

Because people don't want information.

They want transformation.

And so there's all these different things and movements and everything is happening in the book.

I will say this if you.

And I'll say this to anybody, if you ever want to organize your thoughts, write a book.

I don't care if you ever publish it, if you ever let anyone read it.

Forcing yourself to write a piece of content that is 20,000, 30,000, 40,000 words and have it have a cohesive through line will change your life.

Like, I am writing the book, but the book is also writing me.

And I'm already so different than when I started the book.

And the slow build is different.

And I'm trying to set in it because I know what's on the other side is everything I've ever wanted.

And I think a lot of times as entrepreneurs, it can be so easy to not want to sit in the slow, deep work.

And when I say this, I mean, it's so easy to be like, okay, today I'm gonna do my action list, and then I'm also gonna work on my marketing, and I'm gonna work on my customer experience, and I'm gonna work on my branding, and I'm gonna work on my email newsletter and I'm gonna work on a podcast, and I'm gonna work on YouTube and I'm gonna work on this on that.

Like, it is so easy to want to spread yourself out because you see these successful people and they're doing all those things.

But what you don't realize is they went deep on one asset for an extended period of time and then they built on top of that.

And it is, I'm not going to say it's not challenging, but also I can tell that it is going to be the very thing that gets me to the next level that I want to get to.

Because once I'm done with this book, I will have a very clear thesis and a clear stance and a clear statement and I am just allowing myself to sit in that resistance.

So if you're experiencing that where maybe you want to start a podcast or you want to like really refine your client experience, like you want to be known as the best client experience, you want to be known as the best in marketing, you want to be known as the best in branding.

I highly, highly, highly recommend that you commit to a sprint season and go all in on whatever that is and you will feel some resistance.

You'll feel pulled to try and do all these different things and allow yourself to sit in that resistance.

Okay.

Something else that I have been working through that has been extremely mentally challenging for me and it kind of goes along with the first point that I had is letting go of what is no longer serving me.

I'll never forget I was showing a house, it was probably 2019 and it was this beautiful historical house and they had these built in shelves and they had all these books on the built ins and I'm like have my head kind of turned to the side and I'm looking at the books they have and they had a book that was called what Got yout Here Won't get yout There.

I can't remember the author, but I was like, wow, that is such an interesting quote.

And at the time it didn't resonate with me.

But that is, I'm having to remind myself of that constantly in this season that what got me here won't get me there.

And I mean there is a multitude of things that, that I am being forced to release so that I can focus on what matters.

And oftentimes I think we think of it when we hear it.

It's like, okay, what got you here won't get you there.

And so you think it's just actions and it sounds easy to let go of.

You're like, oh, well, I'm no longer going to do the admin work or I'm no longer going to be the one to check my email or I'm no longer going to scroll on social media.

It feels easy.

It almost feels, like, exciting.

You're like, yeah, I'm doing any of that anymore.

But what I did not realize is that so much of that was ingrained in my identity.

And not only was it the actions that I'm.

I was taking, it was who I was being.

And it is so painful.

There's just no other.

There's no other word for it.

Besides, it is so painful to let go of those old thoughts and those old beliefs and those old habits that built you up to where you are to get to the next point.

So one of the big things for me right now that I'm having to work through is my money wound.

I have been very poor in certain phases of my life.

When I say very poor, I mean, like, living in a van that didn't have any heat.

They just set me on the floorboard and drove the van around so I could get some of the heat from the road.

And we lived in New Mexico in a blizzard.

So, like, when I say, I get it, I get it.

I don't mean, like, I struggled a little in college, although I did.

But my money wound has given me this insane work ethic.

Like, I am a hard worker, and that has been my identity for a really long time.

And in this season, because I am working on creating assets that require me to be still and patient and think deeply and create a thesis and create all this.

All this deep stuff, I am no longer being perceived as a hard worker.

And that is very, very, very, very challenging for me.

I actually had someone that I really respect and I really look up to.

She said to me, I mean, blakely, you used to be such a good agent, and if she had known that it would have impacted me, I don't think she would have said it.

I certainly hope that she wouldn't have said it.

But to let go of who you've been that got you here to this point is so difficult, because my mind immediately goes, okay, if I'm not the hardest worker and if I'm not working hard, then I'm going to be poor again, and it's difficult.

So I challenge you to kind of get to the root of what your wound might be that is actually holding you back, because I do find myself resisting this deep work, because I don't.

My little child is still running my subconscious brain, and I don't want to be poor again.

And I'm really having to comfort her and say, girl, look, we're good.

This project that we are working on is the very thing that we need to be working on to get us to the next level.

And I can't let your fears hold me back.

Same with my visibility wound.

I am really in a season where I'm creating a lot of content that is a lot different than what I'm used to creating.

I am focused more now on building a personal brand versus selling my services, which is where I've been in with real estate for seven years.

So for seven years, I have been essentially selling myself to a local community.

So I have had a very specific voice.

My content has been very curated around a specific narrative.

There's a specific way that I wanted people to view me and perceive me.

And now I'm in a season where I am essentially selling myself and my thoughts, and that requires me to think not about a region, but a person in particular.

And I am at a point where my two audiences are clashing.

So my local followers and my.

My international.

Honestly, followers are not always one in the same.

Now, I will say about 97% of my content is resonating deeply with my local audience.

I'm getting messages, text messages.

When I see people out in public, they're like, blakely, your content lately is so good.

I can relate.

And then I'm also getting the 3% that hates my content when I tell you they hate it.

I mean, I'm getting messages of, how dare you post that?

That is not what a Christian would post.

You need to pay closer attention to the music that you're choosing to put on your stories.

I mean, it's just like I am making people angry, and I'm having to be okay with people not liking me.

And that's real hard.

It's real hard, I think, especially when you come from a career where you get paid because people like you.

It's been a challenge.

There's no way to soften how it's made me feel like being misunderstood has been one of the most challenging things that I've experienced in the last couple of years in terms of business growth.

And I'm allowing myself to sit in it because once again, I know that everything I want in my life is on the other side of that resistance.

But, Billy, is it hard?

Okay.

Acting from your future while you're still in your present is the very thing that will get you to your future.

But it's also so difficult.

Like, when you're reading it or you, like, talk about it, you're like, that's so easy.

I can do that.

And then you actually get in it and you're like, man, I just want to cry all the time.

But you don't because you don't have time.

Kidding.

The next thing that I'm gonna, that I'm struggling with is another people pleasing tendency.

And this is something that has hit me like a ton of bricks that I never realized that I did and it has held me back for years.

And you might be experiencing this as well and not even realize it.

So I'm going to bring it to your awareness.

If you plan to get to the next level, whatever that is, whether it's personal, professional, you are going to have to have higher standards when it comes to the drama that you allow other people to pull you into.

Okay, So I personally don't really have a lot of drama in my life at this point.

Point I pretty much work and go home and spend time with my husband.

You know, obviously I fire some people up on social media, but really I'm not posting a lot of political stuff.

Like I for the most part live a fairly drama free life.

However, I.

One of my unique traits, one of my strengths is that I can hold space for other people and I can contextualize problems so they can just kind of just word vomit and I can put their problems into a clear statement.

And that makes me a really good sounding board.

And to be honest, I love it.

I love being a sounding board.

Like it makes me feel good about myself to be other people's sounding board.

However, I have realized in this season where I am so deep in work that requires me to think so much and so deeply instead of just checking things off of a list.

When I allow myself to be distracted, that's all it is.

When I allow myself to be distracted by other people's drama, it not only steals my time, you know, I'll look up and I'll be like, man, we were on the phone for a freaking day hour.

But it hijacks my idle thinking.

So right now in the season, I need to have plenty of room to like stretch my mind a little bit and just brainstorm because that's when the good ideas come.

It's not when I'm writing the book that the ideas come.

It is when I am doing nothing really.

Maybe like I might be.

I've taken up drawing.

I've, you know, I'll go for a walk.

It's when I'm not thinking about the book that the book is writing itself.

And I have to protect that time.

A, because it's, it's very unnatural for me and B, because it is the very thing that is going to make me money.

Just total honesty.

And when I allow myself to swim in other people's drama, I think about their drama while we're on the phone and then I think about it later and then I think about it when I'm laying in bed.

And instead of using my idle brain time to come up with solutions to my own problems and my own business issues and my own personal stuff, I'm thinking of everybody else all the time and their drama and their circumstances and how I can help them work through this and work through that.

And it stinks to have to protect that mental white space, that mental freedom that you have to allow yourself in order to do the deep work.

It's hard because they're my friends and I want to be that place for them to come and get their thoughts out and let's organize the thoughts and let's come up with an action plan.

And at the same time, like, that is one of the things that holds me back the most.

I have been really ruthless with analyzing my time.

Looking back on Fridays, I'm like, okay, you know, where was I?

Where did I see momentum this week?

What was like holding me back?

I'm just, I'm being very honest and very brutal with my analysis.

And that is the one thing that wastes my time the most in the week is getting on the phone and getting caught up in other people's drama and allowing it to become my drama and ruminating on it long after the conversation is done.

And so, yeah, if you have a great solution for that, please let me know.

I have talked to a therapist about not just that particular situation, but ruminating thoughts in general.

I will get a thought in my brain, like, if somebody does me wrong or this is really petty.

This is like probably the most childish thing that I do.

I can't believe that I'm admitting it right here.

This is not me pulling back the curtains.

This is me opening the bathroom door and letting you in.

When someone makes a passive aggressive statement towards me and I don't catch it in the moment and I catch it later, like I'll be replaying the conversation and I'm like, wait a minute, was that a slight at me, I will then feel the need to validate myself and I will play the conversation over and over and over again and I will think of all the things that I should have said until I get to the perfect thing.

And then I'm like, oh, yeah, take that.

Huh?

I can't believe I just admitted that out loud.

And I put it on the Internet for everyone to see.

I do that far too often.

And that is one of the things that steals my precious mental energy that I have got to let go of in 2026, I absolutely have to let go of it.

I actually got professional help for this one.

So I hope this advice I'm giving is not just me making things up like I normally do.

She said, when you start having those ruminating thoughts, you have two options, she said.

You can do something about it.

A call the person, text them, email them, and say, hey, you bothered me when you said this.

What did you mean when you said that?

Why did you say this?

She said, that's option A.

And when I think about the majority of things that I ruminate over, they're not important enough for me to, like, confront them, she said.

Or option B, you can contain it, she said, you can acknowledge that they said that to you and then put it somewhere, so be it.

A journal.

Actually, I have a notes app on my phone, and I have a list of things that people said to me that I did not get to give a comeback.

And I know it's so childish, but there it is.

I said it out loud.

And I am just.

As soon as the thought comes up, I'm allowing it to come up.

And then I'm going, okay, we're putting it down in our notes app, and we're not thinking about it again.

And now as soon as the thought comes up, I catch myself.

I'm like, that's in your notes app.

You put that there for a reason.

Freaking leave it there.

And, yeah, it's helping.

And it also has made me aware of how often I do it.

And I'm like, whoa, just stopping that.

I get, like, hours back in my day.

I'm like, what have I been doing?

But that is on growth, baby.

Can I get an amen?

Business growth, personal growth, mindset growth.

It is the hardest challenge that I've ever gone through, and it's also the most exciting thing that I've ever gone through, because I know on the other side of doing less and having higher standards and looking into the future more, instead of being so reactive in the moment, on the other side of this identity shift and sitting through this resistance is the very thing that I've always wanted.

And for you as well, sitting through whatever resistance is, whether they're the same as mine or you have something similar that maybe you.

You were thinking of during this episode, you're like, yeah, that's.

That's actually exactly what I'm going through or, oh, that.

That's not what I'm going through, but it feels like this, that I am going through.

Just know that setting through that resistance is.

It's a big part of it, I think in our world that we live in, we've gotten so comfortable.

We have so many things that are just so comfortable that any kind of pain, we're like, something must be wrong.

We gotta run away from that.

And now more than ever, sitting in the resistance and setting in the pain is the very thing that will get you the dream life that you want.

That is the end of my State of the Union.

I really hope that you enjoyed this episode.

I'm going to start doing more like this.

I'm gonna have inner circle episodes similar to this one, where it is just a stream of thought.

And then I'm gonna have skills episodes that are gonna be a little bit shorter, and they're gonna be the actionable episodes that I typically do, which y' all love.

And so I'm hoping that having a little flavor, a little bit of both where you have maybe.

I'm going to try to start doing two episodes a week.

I have a resistance to two episodes a week, and that resistance makes me think that's the very thing that I should be doing.

So I'm going to start doing an episode a week where I do skills, and you get to leave with a short punch of like, ah, I can go do this today.

And then I'm going to do another one similar to this, where you just think on things.

You just kind of let your mind wander and you're like, yeah, I never thought about like that.

Or that's exactly what I've been going through as well.

So hope you enjoyed this.

If you did and you think a friend could benefit from this, send this episode to them.

They will.

If they get anything out of this episode, they will always think of you and you.

I won't be the hero in the story.

You will be the hero of the story.

So that is the importance of sending things to people when you think of it, because then they'll go, man, like, Alicia sent me that episode, and it changed my life.

And leave me a review.

If you're watching on YouTube, hit subscribe.

I am coming out of the gate with YouTube content this year, and I'm really excited to grow with you.

So hope you enjoyed this episode and I'll see you in the next one.