Speaker: 00:00:00

Most of our life is elusive and

distorted and generalized and

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opinionated and subjectively biased most

of the time and it's a lie about our

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actuality.

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Have you ever had the illusion

that you're an honest person,

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<laugh>? Ooh, that's going to

cause some, stir up something here.

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You know, it was stated in the time

of Plato that all men are liars,

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all humans are liars.

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Let me elaborate on that for a moment

and talk about lying, the topic of lying.

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You know, if we,

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I have in my Breakthrough Experience

program that I teach pretty well weekly,

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people coming in and they come in

they're really resentful to somebody,

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and they really are angry at somebody,

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or really infatuated with

somebody and admiring somebody.

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And then I go through a series of steps

of asking questions to make them aware

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and conscious of things they were

unconscious of in their interpretation and

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perceptions of that individual.

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And I bring their perceptions back

into balance by asking them questions.

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For instance, what specific trait,

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action or inaction do you perceive this

individual displaying or demonstrating

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that you resent most, or admire most?

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And we identify what

it is they're judging.

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And then I ask them to be accountable,

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because it's not wise to judge other

people without looking at yourself.

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Because sometimes we judge other people,

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it's reminding us of stuff

we're judging in ourself.

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It was Romans 2-1 in the New Testament

that said, beware, whoever you judge,

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you do the same thing.

I found that to be true.

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So what happens is people come in there

and they judge somebody and they resent

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somebody for some action. And then I said,

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now go to a moment where and when

you perceive yourself displaying or

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demonstrating that same specific trait,

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action or inaction that

you're judging in them,

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that you despise and resent in them.

And they go, I swear I don't do that.

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I don't do that. I would never do that.

I pride myself on never doing that.

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I said, let's look again.

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And then I give them some examples of

where they may have done that and all of a

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sudden they go, oops. Yep. I found out

that we only judge people on the outside,

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only resent things on the outside that

represent parts of us on the inside that

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we're ashamed of, that we've

dissociated from our shame,

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put a pseudo cover over it,

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a dissociated pride persona

on, to cover up our shame.

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And then we don't want to be around the

person that reminds us of what we're

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ashamed of.

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So we go around and pretend we're too

proud to admit what we see in them is

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inside us but the truth is, we do.

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And I've been doing that exercise

for about 37, almost 38 years.

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And believe it or not,

everything you judge, you got.

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We only judge things on the outside that

represent parts of us that we haven't

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loved on the inside. Now, you

may not believe that initially,

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but I've proven that in thousands of cases

in the Breakthrough Experience so I'm

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certain that's there.

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But we don't want to admit it because

we think the form we do it in is okay,

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and we justify it in our mind. But

the reality is we do the same thing.

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So when people come in and

they're judging somebody,

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they believe that opinion is truth.

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But what they're actually doing is

having a subjective biased opinion as a

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survival mechanism in our sub-cortical

area of our brain, the amygdala.

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And we're distorting our reality and

generalizing statements and exaggerating

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the downside with confirmation

biases and minimizing the upside with

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disconfirmation bias

when we resent somebody,

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we have a false positive on the negatives

and a false negative on the positives.

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We're seeing something

there that's not there,

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and we're not seeing something

that is there. We're distorting it.

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And then we think that is our truth.

That our opinion is our truth,

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and we're lying. And then if

we infatuate with somebody,

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many people have gone into an infatuation

and thought, oh, that's who that is,

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that's my soulmate, we have the same

number of eyes, same number of ribs,

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same number of arms and legs, we must

be soulmates. And then days, weeks,

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months or years, we find

out, oh, they're a schmuck,

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they're not what we thought. And

we were conscious of the upsides,

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unconscious of the downsides, and we had

an opinion that they were our soulmate.

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And then over time, that whittles down

and we realize that what we see in them,

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we had inside ourselves,

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but we were minimizing ourselves to them

and too humble to admit what we saw in

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them inside us.

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And gradually we find out the downsides

of them and we start to see the upsides

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of us. And we start to

level the playing field.

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And we start to have a

moment of unconditional love.

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And we finally love the individual. When

we do, we have reflective awareness,

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we're empowered in that state. But in

that moment, we now have the truth.

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The rest of the time all of those opinions

and all those judgments we think are

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the truth, which are opinions,

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are subjective biases and confirmation

biases and false positives and negatives.

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Most of our life is elusive and

distorted and generalized and

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opinionated and subjectively

biased, most of the time,

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and it's a lie about our actuality.

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What's actually there

is something to love.

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And sometimes we wait till our last day

of our breath in our life and we finally

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realize that all that was trivia.

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And really being grateful and loving

people was really the essence of our

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existence. So are we all liars? Yes.

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In that context, we're liars. We

confuse our opinion with the truth.

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We have a subjective bias instead

of an objective awareness. Now,

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can we actually have a

moment of objectivity? Yes.

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Can we have a moment of

unconditional love? Yes.

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Do we sustain it and live

that way 24 hours a day? No.

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But can we have a moment of that? Yes.

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And are we in a state of gratitude and

love and inspiration and enthusiasm and

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certainty and presence when we're

there and maximizing our potential and

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actualizing our authenticity in that

moment? Yes. Do we have a moment of truth?

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Yes. Do we lie most of

the time? Yes. <laugh>,

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most of the time we're lying about our

existence. We're constantly going around,

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we walk in a mall and we exaggerate people

and minimize people and judge people

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and living in this strife constantly.

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We have internal strife as Empedocles

said, instead of a moment of love.

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In a moment of love, we

have gnosis. We know things.

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When we're infatuated and we're blind to

the downside, we don't know the person.

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When we're resentful and we're blind to

the upside, we don't know the person.

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When we love the person,

we get to know the person.

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We get to see both sides

simultaneously. Wilhelm Wundt said,

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the simultaneity of these complementary

opposites is what our maximum potential

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is.

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The speed in which we see both sides of

an event or an individual is the wisdom

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we have in life.

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If it takes us weeks to see the downside

of somebody we're infatuated or weeks

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to see the upside of the person

we resent, we're not too bright,

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we're a bit dense, we're weighed down

with our gravitational emotional baggage,

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instead of lightened up with our

love and pure reflective awareness.

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So are we liars? Yes. Do

we lie? Yes. Why do we lie?

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We lie because we want to protect

ourselves. Now let's elaborate on that.

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When we're infatuated with somebody,

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they represent prey and

we want to consume them.

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When you're infatuated you want to

eat them, you want to consume them,

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you want to kiss them, you want to

suckle on them. When you're resentful,

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you want get rid of them, they're

predator, you want to avoid them.

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Ou ramygdala wants to seek the

prey and avoid the predator,

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seek the ease and avoid the difficulty,

seek the pleasure, avoid the pain,

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seek the philias and avoid the phobias.

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And it's basically polarizing us instead

of integrating us and synthesizing us.

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The more we try to be one side

and try to get the infatuation,

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the more we discover that

our infatuation blinded us.

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And we eventually get over there and

discover it wasn't what we thought.

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The fatal attraction.

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And so we have ignorance

when we're infatuated and

we have ignorance when we're

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resentful. And we basically, you know,

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a master martial artist isn't

frightened by a phobic state,

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isn't frightened by a predator,

they're ready to invite to dance.

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I learned from my master martial artist

many years ago when I was doing martial

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arts <laugh>. They said to a neophyte,

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you assume you're being attacked

by a predator. But to the master,

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you're invited to dance because you're

totally prepared and whatever they're

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going to do, you're prepared for

it. So you don't see it as a threat.

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So therefore there's no threat.

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You also know that the person

that you're infatuated with,

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that you're blind to is not

your friend. Be cautious.

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Make sure you keep your

unattached position in the

middle path of the Buddha it

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says,

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the desire for that which is unobtainable

and the desire to avoid that which is

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unavoidable is the source of human

suffering. So those are all our lies.

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Now the question is, do we have

the courage to be truthful?

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Do we have the courage

to integrate ourselves?

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When we live by priority and we're

more objective and we see both sides

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simultaneously and we mitigate our

risks and we calm down our infatuations

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and our resentments and

have self-governance,

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we have a higher

probability of authenticity,

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a higher probability of

walking a path of truthfulness,

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and a higher probability of self-worth,

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because our self-worth

is a reflection of that.

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But most of the time we're not doing that.

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We're living in lower priority things.

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We're subordinating to outer authorities

trying to live in other people's lives,

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trying to be second at being ourselves

and others instead of being first at

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being ourselves. And we end

up not empowering our life.

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And then we're sitting there with our

opinions and we think those are truths,

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but they're really just opinions.

You see this in politics.

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You see this in religion.

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You see this in hypocrisies and

bigotries and racial discriminations and

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biases. These are basically

rampant lies about people.

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When you go to, you know, I'm

amazed, I've been to many countries,

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194 countries in my life,

and when I go there,

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I find out that every human being that

I meet basically wants to survive and

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provide for their family and do things,

are loving individuals, et cetera.

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But if you go on the media,

you find out, well no,

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those are all those people

over there are bad. No,

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I've been to Iran andI hear in

the media, well Iran is this,

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but I go there I meet people

that are lovely people there.

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And India and Saudi Arabia

and Japan and New Zealand.

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Everywhere I meet is lovely people.

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If I am basically realizing that they're

reflections of me and I get to love

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them and love me, I get to

have a great, magnificent,

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thankful experience in life. And

I get to see the truth about life.

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But we go through and allow our biases

to misinterpret reality and we end up

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having these clashes and

this strife in our life,

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only because we didn't take the time to

answer questions that brought our mind

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back into balance and

held ourself accountable.

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I teach a class called the

Breakthrough Experience. That class,

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I have a method in there

called the Demartini Method.

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It's a series of questions that hold

you accountable to see both sides

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simultaneously and to be able

to have reflective awareness and

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dissolve the fantasies and

resentments and the nightmares and

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admirations and things

that you have about life.

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And dissolve that and get present

and get grateful and see life as

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it actually is, instead of as you

perceive it to be and have distortions of.

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The moment you actually do that,

you actually have a moment of truth.

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Now the reason why we lie is because we

think there's going to be more advantage

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than disadvantage at any moment.

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The reason why we tell the

truth is because we think

there's more advantage than

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disadvantage.

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But anytime we think

there's more advantage than

disadvantage in a world that's

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already balanced, we have a

lie. That's the challenge.

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So we go around and we deal with the

probability of the consequences. See,

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if we have a prey, we fear its loss.

We have a predator, we fear its gain.

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So we're making decisions to maximize

the prey and avoid the predator.

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So if we go in there and we

distort our perceptions of it,

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we're distorting our reactions

to it. And when we do,

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we're basically sitting there making

probabilistic kind of decision processes

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based on distorted information.

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And then we're eventually discovering

that our perception wasn't complete.

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So I'm a firm believer in

being accountable at asking

new sets of questions to

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be able to see both sides

of life simultaneously.

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That's why I teach the

Breakthrough Experience,

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to help people break through the

boundaries of these distortions and these

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opinions that they think are truth,

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that are actually just opinions

that hold them and bondage them.

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If you've ever been really infatuated

with somebody, you can't sleep at night,

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very resentful to somebody,

you can't sleep at night.

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But when you love somebody,

you sleep soundly.

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When you're authentic and have

the truth, you sleep soundly.

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The truth sets us free from the

bondage of those things we judge.

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As Empedocles said, love or strife. If

we live in strife and opinion and judge,

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we're trapped. When we live in love

and appreciation, we're liberated.

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Having the courage to actually see both

sides of an event and hold yourself

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accountable,

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that's what the Demartini Method in

the Breakthrough Experience is about,

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how to ask questions that allow you to

see both sides simultaneously so you're

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fully conscious and see things objectively

and see the truth of people and

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events, instead of sitting there having

biases that cause you to seek or avoid,

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impulse or instinct, infatuate or resent,

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and be extrinsically run by

misinterpretations of the outer world.

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I want you to have the voice and the

vision on the inside to be louder than

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opinions on the outside.

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And that occurs when you ask questions

that brought your mind into balance,

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so you're not reactive, you're proactive,

you're objective, not subjective,

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you're inspired instead of despired,

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and you're liberated

instead of in bondage.

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And you give yourself

permission to be yourself.

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And that's the true

power you have in life.

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The most magnificent truth you have

is to be willing to be yourself.

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And that's not going to occur as long

as you exaggerate or minimize people.

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Put people on pedestals or pits,

but put them in your heart.

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So that's why I teach the

Breakthrough Experience,

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to help people liberate themselves from

the lies of their life and to help them

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realize that most of our

life is subjectively biased,

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but we have moments of grace and we

can increase the probability of having

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moments of grace and moments of

love and authenticity and truth.

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We can have moments of that. We're not

going to live there 24 hours a day,

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but we can certainly have moments

of that. And those are healing,

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and those are empowering, and

those are really liberating.

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And I love helping people

get that realization,

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and know the distinctions and then know

the science of how to return to that.

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So no matter what happens in your life,

whatever perturbation you experience,

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how to turn it back into

something of poise and presence.

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When you're powerful and prioritize and

purposeful and patient and productive

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and empowered, you have

a pretty grateful life.

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So I teach people that in

the Breakthrough Experience,

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how to maintain that state

and increase that probability.

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You're going to be constantly bombarded

by things you're going to judge and

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unknowns. The moment you know something,

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you're going to get promoted to the

next unknown and judge some more.

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The key is to come and bring that

back down into seeing both sides

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simultaneously and loving it. See

things as they are, not as you project,

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liberates you from a lot of the emotional

baggage and bondage that trap you

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in kind of the the mortal world that

ages you instead of liberating you for

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something that's really deeply

meaningful and inspiring.

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The mean is the mean between

the pairs of opposites.

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Knowing how to ask the questions to see

the balance of opposites simultaneously

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I teach in the Breakthrough Experience.

That is very powerful. It's a science,

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it works, it reproduces,

it's duplicatable. I've

translated, I've shared it.

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I've got 7,000 something people out

there working with it, using it,

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training other people on it. I'm certain

it can make a difference in your life.

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I've seen it. I've watched lives

change right in front of my eyes.

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So if you'd like to be able

to have a more empowered life,

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if you'd like to be able to see

the truth of your own magnificence,

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the truth of your own magnificence and

the truth of the magnificence of the

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people around you, and transcend

the judgments that embondage you,

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come to the Breakthrough Experience.

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And let me show you the Demartini Method

and how to transcend that with the

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questions.

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The quality of your life's based on

the quality of the questions you ask.

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The questions you have in life make you

conscious of things you were unconscious

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of that keep you in bondage,

keep you emotionally distracted,

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keep you in the impulsive, you know,

the instinctual animal effective nature,

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instead of the angelical awareness nature,

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the full conscious state that

you have available to you.

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So if you'd like to be able to go and

have a moment of grace, a moment of truth,

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great. But just know that

every decision you make,

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don't ever expect somebody

to be always truthful.

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Expect people to do whatever they think

that's going to give them the greatest

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advantage at any moment in time.

That's what you can expect.

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They don't betray you, you do when you

expect them to live in your values.

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They live in their own values, not yours.

You live in your values, not theirs.

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If you expect you to live in their

values, you have a distortion.

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If you expect them to live in your

values, you have a distortion.

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When you expect each other to live in

each other's values, you have that,

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when you expect you to live

in yours and them in theirs,

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and you learn to communicate what you

do in terms of what they're doing,

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you open the doorway for communication

and then they have a higher probability

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of being authentic as you are authentic.

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And then you have a truthful

and integral relationship,

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and have a dialogue instead

of an alternating monologue.

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And you're liberated and appreciated and

you honor the magnificence in them as

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you live the magnificence in you.

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That's what I want to teach you

in the Breakthrough Experience.

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And so if you've got something

outta this little presentation,

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you're going to get a lot more in

a 25 hour experience with me in the

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Breakthrough Experience. So

thank you for joining me today.

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Look forward to seeing you there.

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I can't wait to bring this tool to

you so you can transform your life.