Hello. Hello and welcome to cocktails, coffee and conversations. Tracie here. And today we're exploring at crucial topic for entrepreneurs, understanding that your value it's not defined by your metrics or your numbers. Because your value is not wrapped up in how many people take you up on your call to action. Hmm. How does that feel? I will say that there are three crucial areas. You need to be all in on to sustainably sell in your business. And we will dive into those. But how many people do or do not take you up on your call to action? Does not define how much you're worth. Yeah. So let's talk about you. And I want you to imagine with me that you've launched a new offer. Invested your time. Energy your passion into it. Now you're waiting, watching, refreshing the page. Is there new data? What does it show? How many people are engaging, how many are signing up to learn more? How many are buying. We're hoping for the number and the money flood to just pour in. But if it's not what we expected. Well, how do you end up feeling. Deflated disappointed. Embarrassed. Questioning, whether it's the right offer or the right business for you. It's easy to fall into the trap of letting these numbers dictate how you feel about yourself. And your work. To go a little, Eeyore. And let our internal fatalists take over. And while yes, we should feel all the feels as they come up, because I promise you that 90 seconds of emotional processing is a lot better than days, weeks, or months of repression that rears its head in unhelpful ways. But we have to also acknowledge. And take responsibility for the all too common part of this scenario. At tying our value to external validation and metrics is unhealthy. And frankly incorrect. This is important because while metrics can be useful. And they definitely have their place in business. Uh, like for checking whether parts of your funnel and messaging are effective. After a promotion is over. They should not be the sole measure of your value or even the value of your offer. And we're going to delve into this distinction. Okay. But first let's address the common reaction to this idea. Because when you heard that your value isn't tied to the numbers. What came up for you? Do you think? Well, duh. And then remember that pit you felt in your stomach during your last live launch. Do you feel relieved? Or does it make you anxious? Perhaps you argued internally thinking. Well, if they found it valuable, then. Why wouldn't they just do what I asked him to do. These reactions are natural. Especially because we've been conditioned to equate our importance with our titles. Our business success. With the numbers. And it's constantly reinforced by what we're given access to. Based on these metrics. From the capital that we're seeking to grow our businesses. To conferences or masterminds that we're invited to, or even marketed to. But here's the key point. The value of you. And the value of your offer are not wrapped up. In the numbers. Okay, can you wrap your head around that? We often use the same word value. To define ourselves. And the pieces of our business, but they aren't the same thing. And I really want you to hear this distinction. Value and value-able. Are not the same. Yeah. The word we use to describe ourselves. Our business as a whole, the impact we make and can have on our communities. Versus the pieces and the mechanics. Of our business. They're not equal. They're not the same. This is not the same definition or use of the word value. As much as we traditionally tend to take on the mantle of our importance, aligning with our titles. Our identities, our business identity. What we have going on or what we don't have going on. It's not the same thing. Your passion, your vision. What you hope to bring to this world? Are fundamentally different from ensuring that your communication. And it's delivery resonate with others. Yeah. The mechanics of how you communicate, can be aligned with your intentions, but they do not define your intrinsic worth. Think about how you feel when you hit certain numbers or get specific responses to a call to action. do you feel successful? Accomplished validated, excited, prideful. Now consider what happens when you see the metrics are above or below industry norms. What if you're not even sure what those norms are. And you're judging your results. Based on like a vague idea. Or a quote post you saw on Instagram. Or worse, a slide from someone's selling you into their program, and now you're judging your entire business based on that. When have you been so excited and happy? Only to then feel deflated. After someone's reaction. Or after getting a new piece of data. Is that really the rollercoaster you want for yourself in your business? Because the challenge is to give yourself. Those positive or really even neutral. Feelings independent of external circumstances. I ask yourself. What's another healthy way. You can recreate that feeling of success. Whatever success means for you without it being tied to the things you cannot control. Because remember you don't control tech issues as much as we try. Or social media algorithms or international situations and weather, and you know, all the things that happen in our world. But you do control allowing yourself to feel. To process. And coming back to how you define your value. And the vision you have for your business. And you can determine what your non-negotiables and negotiables are during launching sales calls, regular business time. Any time you feel provoked. We can work on the mechanics. We can analyze it, control the parts. That are available to us. But my ask of you is that you really think about how you want to define an internalize. Your own value. And do the work you need to, to separate the idea of your inherent value from your business numbers. Okay. Because I can teach you one part. But you have to gift yourself the other. So, how can you start to receive this gift? Let's talk about some practical ways. That you can start to get out of your own way. And then the three things that you need to be all in on. For sustainable sales. You have to think of you. Outside of your business. All right. So, what do you have enough of right now? Who are you without your business? What do you feel about yourself and your life? That's inevitable beyond getting the sale. What about the sale that you had before? What about the next sale? Right. We, we have to disconnect this. We can still be excited. We can still feel pride. We can still. Feel accomplished about things without being completely attached and connected to it. Okay. Grounding into these answers, we'll help you get out of your head. So you can get into the heads of the people that you're trying to make connections with. Yeah. One of the ways that I do it personally is. Through somatic practices. And I highly recommend this, especially for those. Who find mindset or affirmations, not really doing what everybody says that they do. Right. So, you know, if you see this kind of advice and you're like, that sounds great for others, but that doesn't really work for me. I really suggest that you dig into somatic work. Okay. Cause somatic work it's not done in the mind. But rather it's the body engaging with your central nervous system, right? Which of course is part of the body. To regulate your emotions, your functions. And really your whole being. Cause Soma the first part of the word somatic. That means body. And it's work that brings it back to itself. Brings it back into mechanical alignment. Okay. It takes it out of all of that reaction state. Into where it needs to be for neutral. And what this does is it creates that safe feeling in a fundamental level. And that way, all the other parts, including mindset. They can then fall into place. I'll include a resource for you in the show notes of someone who, they're actually a founder in the field. So that way you can check it out. Right. And please do do research, especially if this is a new concept for you. Then really I'm looking to how this works, but I can tell you that it has radically changed. How I work and how I function. And so much so that I bring it into my client work now. So the people who coach with me and even digital products. And whenever I come in and I guess coach or I live teach. I even start with some somatic practices. Central nervous system, calming. So once you have that grounded and that focused in. We can look at what to go all in on. And This is the kind of episode and the kind of really teaching that you can hear. Someone talk about at one time and be like, what is happening? And then you go through this somatic work or you go through the regulation work. That is right for you. And you hear it again. And it all clicks. Okay. So I invite you that if right now you're like, I feel very discombobulated. You know, this all feels very frazzled. This isn't the right time for me to hear this advice. Accept that. Right. And understand that that is you telling you and giving you the advice that you need right now, but just save the episode and come back to it when you're ready for it. Because when you hear it again, it's going to click and you're going to be like, oh, I get that. All right. And that's the same, you know? Yes. For, for me in this episode, but also for like the other things that you hear and that's how you can learn new things from things that you've heard before. Right. It's whenever that, that you're ready for them again. And the first thing that I'm going to say that you need to be all in on it's your offers. If you don't feel your work is valuable. You're going to struggle. Right. And I'm not talking about this on the mechanical level. We're we're again, like we're going inside. So what is one thing that you're human, who is looking to work with you? What is it that they're going to get from doing this offer with you? Okay. From taking this training from doing this course from joining your program from, you know, saying yes to letting you do this stuff for them. Right. It doesn't matter whether you're a service provider, a course creator, a coach, a membership owner, all of the things that we can be that we can have, that we can stake our claim in, in this digital entrepreneurship world. We all have the same, like fundamental situations. Right? So what is one thing that your human can get from working with you? Just one. It's okay to start with that. Because we really need to feel it. It doesn't need to be, they will get 20 lessons. No we're talking about. That change. How is their life going to be different because they have worked with you. Because they've learned with you. Okay. You need to really feel it with all your might. That people will get this. And once you have that one, you can let it grow from there. if you're really struggling or if you're not sure, That's where I would invite you to grab boost the value of your offer in a day. It's that little three hour mini course that I have. But it will let you see all the goodness in black and white. And it has transformed. hundreds of businesses. But when you struggle with these Eeyore moments, It can be really hard to step into. What's great about the work you do. Right. And you can notice this because you're going to fall back on those features. You're going to fall back on those physical or those tangible things that you're given people three hours. Templates. PDFs? No, that's not the part we're talking about here. Okay. At least one result, one transformation, one change that happens one way that their life. It's better. Is different from where it was, is a step towards what they want, because they've done this work with you. Make this list. And hold onto it. And keep it where you can call on it, where you need it. All right. Is as you make one. And then you let that kind of sit and you let it grow from there. And then you start to look for evidence from other people. Then that list will, will it'll start to become a list. Right? The one thing that you write down will eventually become many. Okay, but don't force yourself to come up with 20. If you're struggling just to come up with one, come up with one. And believe it with every part of your being. All right. If you need help. Let me know. But otherwise, I believe that you got this. You just have to sit in it for a minute to come up with it. Number two is your audience. You have to be all in with them and you have to believe. That they want to hear from you. They have chosen. To follow you. They have chosen to read your emails. They can always opt out. They can always unfollow. They can always hit pause. They can always unsubscribe. Right. If you don't believe people want to be in your orbit. And consume what you're putting out into the world. You'll hesitate to make anything. Or at best, you'll just entertain them. Over truly enhancing their lives and showing how you can make their world better. So, what have you seen that proves they want to be with you? And start to make that list as well. And the third one. Is yourself. If you don't believe they won't. But not out of judgment. Instead, there'll be this kind of niggly feeling that something isn't right. They might not be able to fully describe it. But there'll be this little disconnect. That's like, I like her and I want to be with her, but there's just something there. And sometimes they can't even put it into that many words. Instead it's in the actions it's in the following you, but the not buying. It's in the watching everything, but not commenting. Right. It's in, it's in going half in on actions, but not all the way. And that disconnect happens. From them feeling. That lack of sense of self on your end. Okay. So how are you amazing. How are you enough as you are? Feel into it. Let the emotions come out that want to come out. Even if they're like ugly crying, I don't care. Go wherever you feel comfortable to have those feels and let them process. All right. If you just try to ignore it, if you try to suppress it, if you try to move past it, if you try to, you know, think beyond it, all they're going to do is they're going to show up in other ways. Including self-sabotage. Including disconnect. So instead feel it. Move through it. Let it process. And then start to ask, how are you amazing. How are you enough as you are? Find that evidence. And then start to find that evidence daily. Embrace it. Make that list. And embrace the learning curve. That is owning a business that is existing in this world that we're in, that is having something online. You know, online business has been around for over 30 years now. But yet it still feels like the new frontier. So it's okay to have a learning curve. It's okay. To experiment. Nothing is a loss. Everything is just a lesson. So, where do you choosing to learn? Where do you choosing to let go of where do you choosing to celebrate? All right. Create your business, how you want and how it feels. Good. This can take some trial, but embrace that process. Let go of. Any past should or quote unquote ways to be successful. You must follow this formula. Any of those scripts, any of those, supposedly go-to selling tactics, all those things that for you personally, they just felt forced to include them in your business. Okay. Let go of it. And instead think about what would be fun and what would be light. Like, if you told a kid what you wanted to achieve, how would they tell you to go about doing it? You know, What would be the kind of like crazy things that they came up with. And what will that spark inside of you? =We can make new models. We can break things apart and recreate them. We can accept parts of some advice. And reject or ignore others. You can find a way that works for you. And still be profitable. And I am here for you. And I asked that if you found this episode valuable, please share it. Just share it with someone who might benefit from it. And don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for more, because following the show, lets me know that you're out there listening. And rate it to let me know what you think, And until next time. Be well and have some fun.