So what's going on, everybody?

What's up, everyone?

What's up?

Love it.

I'm Derek.

I'm Matt and this is Dave.

Dave's the new guy.

I'm the new guy for today.

For today and possibly.

And based on how today goes, we'll see if I'm.

We'll see if he comes on on a more regular basis.

Speaking of, you messaged me a topic you wanted to talk about, which I love.

I love the idea.

So you want to introduce.

Just kind of throw out there what you were, what your thoughts were.

Absolutely.

And it's ironic that we were just talking with the lead pastor.

What's his name?

I'm sorry?

Nick.

Nick.

Lead Pastor Nick.

About the transient nature of the young adult crowd.

So my wife and I are young adult directors over at Victory Church, and I've been starting to connect with young adult pastors across Lee county.

And all of us come to the same conclusion.

They're very transient group.

They're very knowledge oriented.

They want to fill their head with as much as they possibly can.

Right.

So one of the things that I actually just spoke on a couple of weeks ago was the idea of rootedness.

Right.

So we're talking about rooting yourself in Scripture, rooting yourself in the.

In the mission.

Right.

So one of the things, though, specifically is finding a church where you say, this is a.

This is a mission statement I can get behind.

How do I jump in and make this help you achieve your mission?

Because if you're just transient, you're just bouncing around to different churches, you're not really affecting much change.

You're just gathering information, if that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, I see a lot of that.

I actually had.

I see it in some students I had.

I can't.

Not going to name their names, but I have two students over the past couple years that have.

Once they came to Christ in Belief, they then just wanted the info.

They were feeding as much as they could on.

Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more.

And one of them really went into the Bible, one went into really liturgy of things, and they wanted to learn about church backgrounds and stuff.

And the thing is, I realized almost a little too late sometimes, because at first you're like, yeah, I'm excited that you're excited.

But then you're like, wait, you're just going for the knowledge and you're getting away from the relationship of it, and you're going into the religion aspect of it, but you're getting away from the relationship of it.

There's such A danger there that I think it's almost taking consumerism into the church place to where.

And what's scary to me is that if we don't help them try to get away from that or at least apply it, then they're gonna become shopping cart people where they're like, well, I like this and I like this.

But I'm like, yeah, it's a newsflash.

I mean, the church is a bunch of consumers.

I mean, that's what the church as a whole has become is a consumer based society, which we're not supposed to be.

No, of course not.

Obviously contributors would be the opposite of that.

But it's not a surprise that that's the case for young people when that's the example that's been set for so long.

And I think this topic flows really well from our episode last week because we talked about anxiety and the idea that that's the one.

Yeah.

Last week that we had a teen on who talked about that very thing where we feel like we have to prove our understanding and our knowledge and that's why we're trying to soak and find.

Well, that's.

I mean, that's a driving factor.

I mean they're so afraid to be.

And they see the thing is they're bombarded with social media that is trying to always out people or prove that one's smarter than the other or something like that that they do.

They feel the need to constantly feed because, you know, faith for them.

Maybe they're afraid that faith isn't enough.

And maybe they're afraid that just to not having every answer to their faith, somebody's going to come along and disprove it to them.

Yep.

Well, and the other thing too is, as I was explaining to you, Pastor Nick, that they're.

One of my most common conversations is I want to go to the next level.

I don't feel like I'm getting what I need here.

I want to go to the next level.

And I say, okay, what do you mean?

And they say, well, you know, like, I just, we really need to like dig into scripture.

And I was like, meaning what?

Like, read the words closer.

Like, what do you mean by dig deeper?

Well, I wanna, I really wanna, like, we can use like tools and learn like the Greek and the Hebrew and stuff.

I'm like, cool, you don't necessarily need me to like, I can help you with that.

But you can do that on your own.

Right.

And so we have Google, that'll take us straight to the Greek and Hebrew and exactly we can learn all that stuff.

There's some great programs out there.

I use a lot of them.

Yep.

Blue Letter Bible's really good.

I like that one.

That is a good one.

You got Blue Letter Bible, Hub Bible Gateway's got a version, although they only use the N. They do, yep.

Which is so.

Yeah.

But you can go through these different ones, and they're very accessible.

Yep.

And so the.

Actually, the young adult pastor from Ocean's Church, Pastor Jeff, he told me that one of his.

One of his challenges, when people start pushing for the next level, he said, the next level is getting involved.

The next level is serving.

The next level is taking what you know and giving it to somebody else.

Because I will say you're never going to be more reliant on God than when you have to stand up at a pulpit and give a message.

Because God forbid you say one word wrong, you can send one person down the wrong path because you made one mistake.

Oh, man, that reminds me.

So, yeah, I was reading back in undergrad, I read a book by Andy Stanley.

It's one of the only books I really like by him, but it's called Communicating for a Change.

And in the book, towards the end of the book, he goes through the whole thing, and it's really good.

It's about trying to get a message across by really pounding it home with something simple that people can really grab onto.

But the idea that he hit on the back end of the book was.

Was awesome.

He's like, imagine if you were.

That it was your child in the back and this message is going to determine whether he goes to heaven or not.

I'm like, man, you got to take it with that much seriousness every time you approach a message.

I mean, I put a lot of pressure on myself at the middle school and the high school, but I definitely do the same thing.

If I'm preparing a sermon, I'm putting everything I'm into the sermon.

I take it so seriously that I think that sometimes I'm almost overthinking it in some ways.

But even in that, I mean, you're trying to be like, all right.

Every time I feel like it's too much me, I push back and I'm like, all right, God, where are you at in this?

And, you know, making sure that he's always at the forefront and that this is what he wants and not what I want.

But, yeah, you put so much into it because it is that important, you know, because it's easy for them to hear the wrong thing.

And people take Things wrong all the time.

100%.

I think we need to just teach people to take one on the chill.

Just a minute.

You know, like, freaking, like, I don't know.

I am, I. I am the hot take gag.

I just, I don't.

I think that the whole seriousness of it.

Yes, it is serious.

Absolutely.

But at the same time, like, Jesus came to a bunch of simple guys.

Yeah.

Like, it wasn't like he was.

It's.

It's this overabundance of something that is.

Is scary.

Or it's, It's.

It's only easy to get confusing when you start using these terms that are way up here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when you talk simple to people, it's no longer confusing when you, when you bring it back to that, to that C.S.

lewis mindset.

Right.

Where it's like that, that mere Christianity mindset, where it's like, this is, this is the simplicity of it.

This is, this is the, the core, the rootedness.

This is where you are rooted.

When, when, when you get it down to that.

It's.

It's not complicated and it is serious, but it's not like, okay, you're going to say the wrong things.

I mean, there's.

There's some Holy Spirit.

You got to trust in there.

Right.

That whatever they're going to hear is what the Holy Spirit wants them to hear.

Because we're not the ones calling.

No.

Right.

We're not the ones calling these people to, to make a life decision.

It's the Holy Spirit that is doing that.

So it's on them.

I'll give you that.

But there's still a manner of preparation where you'll have to get through.

Like, just because something seems like a good idea for a second, you have to check it.

Like, how's this gonna come across?

I'm in the process of.

I started preparing a sermon for next week because I'm doing the last Sunday of the year, and I had a phrase, I thought, oh, this is good.

And then I was like, no, can't use it.

I can't even use it because that'll come across wrong.

If anyone hears it like this, it's over.

And so, yeah, I have to abandon things all the time because it's like.

I know what I meant by that.

But if somebody hears that, they're not gonna see it or hear it like I do.

And so that's what I mean.

Like, you constantly have to.

And that's why I fight with everybody.

That's right.

Seriously.

Yeah.

Go back to, you know, when Jesus picked out his 12 disciples, he did not go pick out, you know, he didn't go to the temple and pick out 12 scholars.

He went to.

So we're actually with the business networking group that I started, we're now talking about expansion and, you know, started to keep an eye out for anyone who we think would be good as a facilitator.

Right.

And I'm not looking for someone who's super eloquent, who has a ton of knowledge base.

What I'm looking for is I'm looking for the guy who has a passion to help people, right?

He doesn't have to necessarily be or lady.

They have slight energy level.

I don't want them to be boring, but I want them to love what they're doing and be loyal to what we're trying to do.

Right.

What I don't want is someone to go in there, try to siphon people and direct them this way, or go, oh, this is good, you should go to this one, you know?

And so I think Jesus did the same where he walked up and said, I don't need you to know everything.

I just need you to be willing to do what I say because I know what I know what I. I know what needs to be done.

You don't.

I'm about to teach you.

Just please don't fight me.

And I think we need to.

We need to be in that position, not of Jesus, but the willingness to be like, okay, let me just listen for a minute.

You know, like, we need to teach.

We need to teach people to be in that.

Just slow down.

It's okay.

You don't have to have all the knowledge in the world, but if you slow down, you gain the important knowledge, Right?

Like, I mean, it's not, it's not hidden knowledge, it's not that secret knowledge, but it's.

It's that important knowledge when you slow down and process things.

Yeah.

And it's easy to miss, though, when the Pharisees and the scribes and everyone.

I mean, although some of them were problematic in the way they think, thought, and did some things, but they also are full up.

They already think they know.

And so that's problematic in itself.

If you're going into church thinking you know everything about the Bible, you're going to miss it.

You know, it's hard.

I mean, you've given sermons and for me and a lot of people that write sermons and perform them or give them or however you want to say it, I don't really, like, perform whatever, so I don't really like perform.

But whoever gives sermons on a regular basis, it's hard to walk into another church and just enjoy a sermon because you're listening.

Yes.

But sometimes you find yourself listening how they did it and go, oh, I might have done it that way.

Or I really liked how they did that.

And you start dissecting it to a degree.

Hey, musicians are the same way.

Oh, I get it.

But it's hard to turn that off.

And if it's hard for us and we're in the gig, you know, if you're walking into a church and you're like, well, I have all this knowledge.

I got it all, what are you going to hear?

Right.

Yeah.

I think it's important to say time and time again.

I know we've said it a million times on here, but whatever you go into church looking for is what you're gonna find.

Pretty much.

You're gonna find the hypocrites, if that's what you're looking for.

You're gonna find the failures, you're gonna find the people who are better thans, but you're also gonna find Jesus if you go into a church looking for him.

So on that note, yeah, you know.

What we need to find right now?

Jesus?

A break.

We do need a break already.

I mean, we've only been here for 15 minutes and we already need a break.

This is ridiculous.

You know these guys.

All right, welcome to the Truth Response.

Why don't you open us in prayer?

Oh, open.

I got you.

All right, Father, I want to raise up this podcast.

Like, obviously, this is.

This is the medium that a lot of people are honing in at the moment.

So please guide our speech, guide our actions, and help us not to say anything stupid.

And we pray that the Holy Spirit just be over this entire podcast and bless anyone who's listening.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Amen.

Now, they, all of our listeners know that I can't help but say stupid things.

That's why there's grace.

Yeah, no, there's a lot of grace that is given to us, but no, from the musician perspective, I get that.

I really do.

Just coming in and sitting anywhere.

I.

Hear every mistake, and it makes it hard to worship whenever I'm somewhere.

And, I mean, if you've got professionals, it's a lot easier if you've got people who are paid to be there to be, practicing to be.

But whenever it's volunteers, they could be good.

But you hear the mistakes as a musician, you hear them.

And so, you know, the people who.

Who can actually bypass that, that, that, ah, this is a struggle when you come out and.

And they are like, hey, I heard that.

I heard that.

I heard the mistake, but you did good up there.

Like, they were able to move past the mistakes that you make, the things that you say, because, you know, or whatever.

Like, they're able to move past that and still worship in the midst of anything that is trying to throw them off, those distractions, you know, and that's really what we're talking about, is distractions.

I mean, you guys, I preached sermons before too.

I can see all that stuff.

And it is distracting whenever you know the person and they're, they're, you know, twisting some things maybe to make it fit or whatever.

Like, you're more critical of those people.

Of course, you're unfortunately more likely to look at them differently than if it was somebody who you didn't know, you know, and so you just got to be on top of it.

You got to be intentional with how you perceive it and realize that there's a reality to it and then there's a perception of it.

Yeah, I mean, to a degree, there is a.

There is amount of it.

That's not necessarily a bad thing.

For instance, if you do take things, as we said before, seriously, where you're really.

What you're doing is you're always working on your craft.

You're always trying to be the best you can be.

And so as you're listening to other people, you're in taking things, you're like, good, bad, sus.

And you're not really holding on to bad things.

You're holding on to good things and good ideas, and you're thinking through things in your mind, trying to better yourself.

And.

And to some degree, it's like, all right, you need to be able to also not do that.

I went and I listened to a sermon of a guy that I thought was one of the greatest speakers.

You know, at one point in my life, I thought he meant this guy.

If I could only get close to where this guy's at, man, he's so good.

And then he mentored me for a period of time.

And I was listening to a sermon this past year by him, and I listened to how he did it, and I sat there and I was going, no, no, I don't like that.

I'd have probably done it this way.

And I thought that I found myself doing it, and I was like, whoa, I fell victim.

I can't believe I did that to him.

That's so weird.

I will say, though, that it Happens though, even if as a churchgoer, we got to be careful our heart condition as we go into even the worship.

So, for instance, when I was up north, I was with this really big church for a long period of time.

And the music was like.

It was like a concert every.

It was like the radio.

I mean, it was not.

It was on tempo.

Everything was right there.

And then when you go from that to a church, that things tempoed down a little bit.

It's not bad, but it's.

You can tell the difference.

It's strange.

Like, if you're going and you're used to it and you go, well, it's not that.

Well, it's not the right heart condition, number one, you're not there to have it that all the time.

You're there to worship God, but it is a little distracting.

I gotta be honest.

When I was in my teens, I went to this Methodist church.

It was an old traditional Methodist church back in the day, organ and everything.

And the music was led by the organ and hymn books.

But the funny thing is that we had our main organist and then we had a backup in case the organist was on vacation or sick or something.

And the main organist played at a reasonable speed.

But the backup was this older lady who played it.

If it was half the speed, it was rushing for her.

It was.

So instead of like, there was a song, Praise God from him, all blessings.

When this other lady was like, praise God from him.

And I'm like, oh, man.

Yep.

Yeah.

Bringing it back to.

To the idea of rooted, though, that something that I tell musicians on the praise team that are like, we do that song all the time.

First off, perspective is important to be rooted.

You've got to make sure your perspective is right.

Right.

So, like, yes, you do this song a lot, but that's because we play it 4, 5, 6, 10 times before we ever get to a Sunday morning where we play it once.

Yep.

Like, perspective's important.

So they may hear it one, two, three times where we've done it 15 to 20, you know, so.

So that's something that you have to keep in mind and that.

That's for everybody.

Right.

Like, you got to have your perspective in the right place.

Yep.

Whenever.

Whenever you are looking at things.

And the other thing is like, okay, we've done the song a million times, and if that was the only song in existence, you should still be able to worship every time.

Bam.

Every time.

So you truth bombing it.

I know, right?

I know.

And I've actually had to talk to people about like say this is your heart is in the wrong place.

Like we should be able to worship to.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship 50 million times or I don't know, whatever the song might be that is.

Is your boring.

Whatever or whatever it might be.

It's the heart.

It is, it is.

Where is your heart in this?

And so in order to be rooted you, you have to go into it thinking this.

We're not looking for the best possible anythings.

We're looking for the right things.

Right.

And we can't get it if we're bouncing from one place to the other 100%.

So.

Yep.

I mean that's where we had my parents church way back, way back at.

Let's see what.

We're in 20, we're in 2025.

So probably like 2015, 2016.

They told me they went to a service and in the middle of worship all of a sudden all the power went out, right?

Yeah.

And so like multiple people started panicking and the worship leader stood up and said we don't need this.

And he put his guitar down and he just started singing.

And then at one point basically saying, we don't need the production, we don't need the lights, we need the right, we need to have the right heart posture.

Right.

I remember when we, when I first moved down in 2013, we had three immediate church options.

One of them was my, my wife's father had started a church and.

But most of his members were post 65.

Not much for my kids to do, but he was a brilliant speaker.

Could go on for three hours about the, the cloth they used when building the Tave Tabernacle.

Right, one of those.

And so we ended up at Victory Church and at the time their volunteer, their volunteer worship team was not very good and we had just come from a church where they actually did pay their musicians.

So it was very polished, very like clean and it was very powerful.

Right.

And then jumping into this where you might have like an acoustic player, hit a lot of wrong notes, didn't tune his guitar very well, things like that.

And my wife who worship is the number one determining factor if she's going to go to a church.

Right.

And so it took probably I think three where she kept fighting me, I want to go to another church, I want to go to another church.

And finally I said okay, fine, if you want to go to another church, you need to find us one to go check because I'm all in here.

And then so she, she tells a story where that Sunday, she goes in and says, God, if this is where you want me, I need you to change my heart.

And she said she just broke down and started crying in that service because worship just hit her.

So for the first time, it's, I guess another way of saying rooted is you.

It's kind of a heart posture, right?

Yeah.

Well, there's a lot of the why behind it.

And, you know, we talked earlier about the.

Sometimes the message is so simple, and it should be simple, and we want to make it as understandable as possible, but sometimes we have to think about the reason why.

Why are we in church?

Why are we here singing?

Why are we listening to a message and bring it down to the basis?

And we want to root it down.

You know, I'm here because this is a body of believers that's going to accept me and encourage me and help me stay accountable or help me grow in my faith.

And I want to be around that.

I want to be where God's at.

And I think he's in this building with these people, or even if you're out in a field with those people.

That's why I'm there.

And I'm worshiping God because he has saved me, and he is my everything.

And I go to him and I just want to thank him for all he does.

And let's talk about the rooted reasons why we do it.

And why are we listening to this message?

Well, it's because we're trying to feed.

We want to hear some encouragement for our lives.

Sure.

Great.

But we also.

There's something we can learn here.

There's something we don't have in our bucket.

I listen to great preachers and Bible teachers who.

I call them my gap fillers.

Like, yeah, I think I might know a lot here.

And then suddenly I'm like, nope, that needs to go in there.

And we need that on a daily basis.

And why do we take communion?

To continuously remind ourselves by taking part of that meal of what Jesus did and the importance of it and doing that together as one saying, this is what we believe.

And, you know, why do we participate in baptism?

Wow.

There's a lot of conversation about that.

But let's get to the heart of it, man.

Why are you actually doing anything here?

Why would you not on the baptism thing?

That's my question.

That's the question I toss out to people, is because people get so tied down on, you know, is it the point of salvation?

Is it not the point of salvation?

This is it that, you know, or would you.

Whatever but my question to people that are like, well, I'm want to get baptized?

My question is, then, why?

Right.

You know, well, what is the why, why behind it?

Because there's a heart problem there.

Because we are instructed to do it regardless of whether or not it affects our salvation or not.

So that would be the why.

So the heart posture is an extremely important.

Well, we got two things.

Two things we're told to do other than putting our faith in Jesus, of course, but communion and baptism.

Yep.

Well, I even had that situation when I was up in Minnesota.

For me, I was one of those kids who was born and raised in church, Right?

Yeah.

I went to an evangelical church, which I will say is kind of like diet Baptist.

We still sing out of hymnals, but the ladies can wear pants.

But I was always of the opinion that just because it was never taught in a different way, that I remember that baptism was an outward showing of your faith.

Right.

So I'm like, I grew up in this church.

Every single person is sitting in these pews knows exactly who I am and what I represent.

I don't need to stand up here and say, I am a Christian.

You all know already, right?

That was my argument.

Then there was a podcast I used to listen to called the Mark Gunger Show.

He's a pastor up in.

In Wisconsin, and he would take anonymous emails, and I had sent an anonymous email asking that question, why is this so important?

And he said, well, let me see.

The Bible literally says, he who believes and is baptized.

So you are in direct violation of what he asked you to do.

So chew on that, and just moved on to another subject.

And I'd never heard it put that way.

Wow.

So that's awesome.

That.

See, man, sometimes people just need blunt.

Like some people.

Sometimes people.

And I'm one of those people that.

Like a. I am one of those people.

I need blunt.

I don't want to have to try to read your mind if you think one thing about me.

My feelings are gonna be so much better if you just tell me.

Right.

Like, then let's play this game until I figure it out myself.

Let's not do that.

It's funny when it comes to next steps.

Right.

That's usually how I answer that question.

If somebody's like, oh, should I be baptized?

I'm like, well, have you come to Faith in Christ?

Yeah.

Then that's your next step.

Yep.

That's pretty simple.

That's your next step.

Right.

Nothing else needs to be done.

And then right after that, I mean, the world's your oyster because, like, I think that a new convert could totally lead a discipleship group.

Now that needs guidance.

Right, Obviously.

But I think that you can always.

But all of us need oversight.

Right.

Who's your Paul?

Who's your Timothy?

Right.

Like, that's the whole thing, you know?

Yep.

Well, and the other thing too, just the.

The whole concept of rooted is that like.

So I found this article about a fig tree, a wild fig tree in the echo caves of South California, South Africa, and it has the deepest recorded Taproot.

It's over 400ft deep.

Right.

And I was trying to explain to them this didn't happen overnight.

Right.

This took.

This grew fraction by fraction, centimeter by centimeter, over hundreds of years.

And so when people think, well, I'm going to show up at this church, I was here for six months and I didn't really get anything out of it.

So I picked up.

So you're a palm tree.

Right.

And so when the hurricane comes through, you're going to be the first thing that gets uprooted.

As soon as somebody says something you don't like, you take off.

There was a period of time where I remember early on.

So we moved here in 2013.

So about.

Probably about mid 2014.

I remember Pastor Larry over at Victory got up and he said something that my wife vehemently disagreed with.

And so we get done, she goes, by the way, we're leaving this church.

We're not coming back.

And I was like, why?

Well, because he said this, I'm like, okay, before we walk out the doors, we should probably ask him if mate to maybe further explain.

So we sat with him and we said, this is what you said.

I don't understand.

And he went, oh my gosh, that's not what I meant.

What I meant was this.

And like, that makes more sense.

We're back in.

But how many people just.

But that goes back to what we talked about.

Slow down, take a breath, figure out what's really going on, what's really needed, what God's really saying.

It's okay to take a minute.

Nothing is a crisis after you believe.

We'll say it that way after you're a believer.

There is nothing that's in crisis.

It is.

Let's move forward intentionally with wherever God is leading us.

Yep.

Yeah.

And I love how the next step that you've been or that has been talked about is serving.

Serving in a church, like, is.

So I think it's really important reason being is because it's a great turning around to Then go and serve in the world.

Because we're meant to serve in the world.

We're meant to take our faith out into the world and let people see it.

It's not meant to be hidden.

But if you're going to do start anywhere, it's a great place to start is in the church where there's other people to help you 100% help get into that rhythm and knit it into your life.

Not just try it on.

You need it to be part of your fabric.

But yep.

And to, to further the, the point.

I mean, so we had a situation.

Even I think just a few.

I think it was a few weeks ago.

Pastor Larry said something and it struck me the wrong way.

I actually haven't talked to him about it, but it was like, oh yeah.

It's like so the concept of a fig tree being rooted by 400ft, right when that.

Those hurricane winds, it might get bent a little bit, but it's always going to snap back into place.

There's been multiple times in the church where somebody has done something, it's angry.

But never one time have I thought, I need to leave the church because of this.

It's.

I don't.

I put down, you know, I'll liken it to this.

We.

I remember years ago, my daughter is 17 and so she, she asked me a question years ago.

Like we watched a movie and husband cheated on them.

Like, do you think you could ever cheat on mom?

I'm like, no.

Because do you know how much work I put in to get to where we are now?

I would not have us start over from the beginning.

I mean, that's a very logistical way of looking at it.

Obviously.

I mean, no, you're with me, dude.

I'm with you.

Because my wife and I talk about it all the time and I say it to her and almost in a joking way, but I'm serious.

I'm like, you know, that sounds like.

A lot of work.

I know.

It's just too much.

Like I'm fully satisfied in my marriage.

I love my wife to the moon and back.

Yes, ma', am, a million times.

But like.

And she's my rib.

She really is.

I am convinced that God made her for me.

But no, I can't even get in the mentality of cheating.

But where do you find the time and the right.

So.

So I've had to tell.

I had to tell my brother in law like that as.

As funny as that is, I've had to tell my ex brother in law.

Like sometimes you don't get to be happy.

Sometimes being a man, a father, a husband means you don't get to be happy for a period of time because you have responsibilities.

And so even if you're not satisfied, it doesn't matter.

Yep.

Responsibilities are the same.

You made a commitment there.

There is the commitment.

There is the role that you stepped into.

And that doesn't go away.

Nope.

It doesn't go away.

I keep trying to tell some of these.

These new husbands.

I'm like, you're going to.

When we're sitting before they, I'm like, I just need to lay something out.

There's going to be a day.

There's going to be a lot of days.

A lot of days.

And I've had more than my fair share.

When you walk up to the front door and you're like, I had the worst day.

Thank God I have a wife that is going to carry this burden with me.

And you walk in the front door and you say, honey, how was your day?

And she turns around bawling, saying, I.

Had the worst day.

And you go, okay.

And you take your problems, you stick them in your pocket, like, we're going to deal with that later.

You deal with hers.

And then usually the.

The cumulative effect is that you go, my day wasn't that bad.

It's like, yeah, well, I mean, we.

Which then gets thrown on to us as guys as being too stoic or not dealing with our emotions.

Yeah, that happens.

There's also the times where, I mean, inevitably, you're heading into life, and you're almost.

It's like you're heading into battle with your partner, and sometimes it's not a good day for either of you.

And sometimes you're.

It's really stressful situation, and you're stressing out this and she's stressing that, and you want to come together, but you just.

There's everything so much.

And there's gonna be days where you're gonna love each other, but you're not necessarily gonna like each other because you're dealing.

And there's ways to get through that.

You just need to be patient and push through and endure.

But.

And look.

And especially when you have kids, kids will drive you to your wit's end.

Mm.

And I have five.

God bless you.

Thank you very much.

I'm one of five.

I can't understand.

I need everyone I can get.

But.

But no, I got five kids.

And with the stuff that they bring to the table when it comes to their schedules or when something is broken in the house or there's something.

Whatever it is that's happening, it brings a lot.

And then you bring in finances, and you bring in the timing, and, oh, my goodness.

And sometimes, you know, you just need to go, all right, we're going to bed.

Yeah, I'm going to bed.

Okay, you can go to bed.

One of us is going to bed.

But this has got to stop right now.

This day has got to end right now.

We are snowballing.

Yeah, well.

And there's a song that's been resonating with me lately.

Jelly Roll.

Right.

I love Jelly Roll.

I'm a big Jelly Roll fan.

I've gotten into his slower stuff more recently, but he does a song called I'm not okay.

And the lyrics, man, it's so, so deep.

And the first verse in chorus, I'm just going to read it because it's good.

Is I'm not okay I'm barely getting by I'm losing track of days and losing sleep at night I'm not okay I'm hanging on the rails so if I say I'm fine Just know I learned to hide it well, pause there for a second.

How often do we do that at church?

I mean, the people walking around church.

I'm good.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm doing fine.

I love the people.

You can.

It's obvious.

How not real is that?

Like, how not genuine are we being whenever we've created a.

Because, I mean, if you're in any kind of church leadership, this is your fault.

We've created this.

Hey, seriously.

We've created this environment that in this culture of it's okay to just hide it and not use each other.

Like.

Like what Galatians says, where it's, you know, bearing others burdens.

Like, that's.

We are literally directed to.

To share each other's burdens.

And yet we've created this culture that is okay to say, I'm just fine.

Yep.

You know, Yeah.

I tell you what, I don't.

I don't accept it.

And if I can, obviously, if I can tell that something's not right, I won't just go, okay.

You won't talk to me?

No.

My response is, you're lying.

I've actually asked guys before.

You lie to me, bro.

You lying to me, Right?

But even women, I'll be like, are you okay?

Like, oh, fine.

I'm like, really?

Right.

As soon as you say, really, you can watch the countenance change, and then.

They'Re looking at you.

Like, I'd like to hide this some more.

But if I'm gonna leave it at anything, it's like, well, listen, you can just know I'm around, right?

And I've had people, some of our listeners could probably write in if they wanted to and testify to the fact that I've looked at them and been like, what's.

Are you really okay?

Him, he walked in one day and I was like, what's going on with you?

You know, like, if somebody's like, ah, I'm fine.

Are you though?

Mm, yeah.

My response has changed to, to like, well, do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to lie to you?

Like, I mean, I've had better days kind of a thing.

And, and so.

Yeah, no, but if.

When you say, whenever you say yeah, are you lying?

Like, that's where I leave it.

Because like, they usually will say, yeah, or their facial expression, expression will change or whatever that might be.

And that's, I think, for people that know me, right, that's the only place that I need to go with it because they know that I'm here.

I'm not gonna press because they're obviously not wanting to speak it for one reason or another.

And to that I want to read the chorus to the song as I know I can't be the only one.

Right?

That's important for all of us to realize and I think it's important to rooted as well.

You're not alone in the fact that you are what you're seeking.

You're not alone in the struggles that you're dealing with.

You're not alone in whatever it may be.

You may be looking at it from a unique perspective and that is the lived experience that you have.

But the struggles and the things and the desires, they're not unique to you, that you are not alone.

I know I can't be the only one who's holding on for dear life, but God knows that I know when it's all said and done, I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright.

And it's not okay, but we're all gonna be alright.

So I love the fact that he, like, he.

He brings everybody else into it as well.

The fact that like, I'm not alone in this and that is one of the biggest lies that we get sucked into.

The silence is that you're.

This is just you, you're just thinking this way.

You.

You don't have enough knowledge.

You, you know, everyone else understands this, but you don't get it.

And a lot of times It.

It's scary.

And you want to hop up and go to the next place because that's somewhere where you don't know if they all get it.

Sure.

You know, if they all.

If it feels like they all get it here.

Well, if I go there, maybe they don't all get it, and they'll be like me, you know?

And so that's.

That's one of those things that.

Yep.

Yeah.

I had years ago.

Not that many years ago.

Some years ago, one of our other youth leaders, his name is Sean.

And I remember he and I were pretty close.

And I remember in.

At one point, Pastor Omar and his wife were leading the.

The.

The youth group, and they kind of sat us all down for a meeting, and we started talking through.

You know, she started challenging us to make sure you're leaning on each other, make sure you're sharing each other's burdens.

Right.

And so at one point, Shawn and I always egged each other on to be the person who, like, I respectfully disagree.

Right.

And one of the things I said was.

I said, here's the problem.

I said, I work with Sean.

At the time, I was working with him at a roofing company, and I remember having a conversation with him earlier that day where he was talking about all these things that he's trying to make happen, and he's so stressed out of his mind.

He's having trouble just focusing at work.

So I tell him, I said, as much as I know that he needs to carry my burdens or whatever, we need to work together, I can't in good conscience give him any more because he's so overwhelmed.

And I think right now, we live in this culture where everyone is busy, everyone's overwhelmed, everyone's stressed out.

So the concept of, like, I can't give you what I got, man.

Like, it's gonna be way too much.

I actually used a.

The AI, was it producer.

AI whatever, to make music, right.

So I can write lyrics all day long.

My dad is a freelance writer, so I inherited his gene.

I love writing.

We need to get together.

There you go.

Okay.

Because I'm a songwriter as well.

Sweet.

Okay.

But I can't write music.

Music kills me.

I just can't translate it.

My fingers don't do what my brain wants it to do.

But AI has helped me write the music.

And so I had written this song, and basically, when the lyrics is, if I give you what I carry, it's gonna be too much for you.

I had this analogy once that popped into my head because my Wife also carries a lot.

She's one of those people that she will make sure things get done.

I'm the free.

I'm the free.

I'm the one I flow with.

I go with the flow.

She does not.

She has a plan.

Right.

And so I.

One day, she was carrying way too much, and she had too much going on and had this vision for carrying all these Christmas packages, and there was just enough for her to see over it.

And in my head, I'm going, if I tell you why I'm upset right now, I'm gonna be putting that last package on top.

And now you can't see anything, right?

Yeah.

I'm like, so I can't.

And this is.

Now we're trans.

That's so real.

And it's actually not that far from my wife and I's relationship, because sometimes she's.

She can't help.

I mean, she would say that's just how she's wired, but she ends up thinking about everything all at once.

And I'm also.

I'll handle a lot, but then I'll put it down when I can.

Have you ever heard of the.

I'll let you get back to it, but have you ever heard of the Tale of Two Brains?

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah.

The boxes and the spaghetti.

Okay.

Yeah.

That guy's brilliant.

Love him so much.

I didn't know it was called that, but I understand.

There's times where I have looked at her and been like, I know there's something I'd love to talk to her about, but I can, because today's not the day.

Yep.

And then just wait.

And then.

But then a lot of times that gets put so far on the back burner that you don't.

And then.

And then whenever things blow up.

Right.

And you all are communicating, all of that then comes out.

Whether it's said or it's, you know, body language, all of it comes out.

And so where did this come from?

Right, right.

Yeah, exactly.

I've been sitting on it for six years, actually.

Right.

Or even so long that you can't even recall details.

But you.

You didn't deal with it.

And so, like.

Yeah, well, you know.

But it's part of the game is sometimes you just have to recognize what.

When.

When you can open up to people, you know, and that's one of the things.

Like, when people come into the church, I want them to know this is a place where, like, we're set up for this.

Like, come in if you're going through it.

Let's talk about It.

Let's.

Let's get you.

You know, my wife and I actually have.

For our marriage, there's times where we'll go to each other, and sometimes either one of us will go, okay, listen, is this one of those times?

Like, if I'm.

If I hear her starting to get into something and it might not have.

Usually if I'm saying this has nothing to do with me, because it would not work if it was about me, but if I was.

If she's had.

Going through about.

This is what's going on here.

Here.

And here I go.

Okay, listen.

Okay.

Do you.

Are you just venting?

Do you just need to get it all out, or do you want me to participate in this conversation?

And that has really helped us.

And she's done the same.

And sometimes I'll come in and I'll just start.

Listen, I just need to vent, so just hear me out.

And sometimes she'll do the same thing.

But to be able to just go, okay, this is the format.

This is the format.

Yeah.

You are a better man than I.

Because I just told my wife, if you got a vent, like, call your mom.

Oh, no.

And I know it.

That sounds harsh.

I know that sounds harsh.

But, like, she.

Her mom and her have a really close, good relationship.

Yep.

Where she's used to calling her inventing.

Right.

And her mom's used to not offering any advice.

And it's one of those things I was like.

I got to the point where I was like, I can't.

I can't do this.

Actually cannot do this.

The same guy.

And I'm not good at that.

Right.

So I can do that.

Yeah.

The.

The Tale of Two Brains.

Mark Gunger.

So Pastor Mark Gunger up in Wisconsin, he had.

When he.

That was him.

That's him.

Yep.

Single.

Two.

Two.

Two things you've done.

Yep.

He has a.

What you call it.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, I actually met him once.

He's really cool.

So he has a.

What is it called?

Oh, my gosh.

A conference called Laugh youh Way to a Better Marriage.

And so I got to go.

And it lives up to his name, but he was talking about how the.

You get the guys who are like, I'm going to follow my passion.

So we're moving to Ohio.

Right.

And it's like.

But she grew up her entire life in Michigan.

Whatever.

That's not very far opposite sides.

Right.

So in my specific example, my wife was here, and my family was in Minnesota.

My life was in Minnesota.

So I convinced her to come to Minnesota.

And so, years later, I'm listening to this podcast, and he's talking about how women need their family structure if it's been a good relationship, right?

They need their mom.

They need their sisters, if they have them, because that their network is what will help relieve their tension.

And if you take them away from their support structure, they're going to turn around and stick a.

Stick a straw in your brain and suck you dry, because now you are where they're getting all of their emotional support from.

And we are not set up to give a lot of emotional support.

If only my wife could hear this.

This podcast because, like, she doesn't listen to podcasts, and especially not this one just because she's a turd.

But we're opposite.

We're actually the opposite in our relationship.

So, like, I'm the one who needs that.

And she's the one that's like, I'm good.

I can call my mom.

I mean, I'm good calling her.

I don't have to constantly be around.

I'm the one who's like, I gotta be.

I miss my family so much.

Like, and it's not just miss my family, but, like, we did literally everything together.

And so when I moved, it was like I lost all of my supports.

Sure.

And it was a real struggle.

So I feel that.

I feel what you're saying, but from the female perspective, I guess you could say almost.

I mean, not in the same way.

I know all you ladies out there would be like, you don't understand.

And I'll be like, yes, I agree.

But.

Okay, well, the other.

But I mean, to further the point is that you've got a lot of the conversations we'll have.

Like, I had a conversation with her recently where we had a friend who got pregnant.

Two weeks later, they lost the baby, right?

And they are both, like, devastated.

Right?

And I'm sitting here with my wife, and in my head I'm going like, you've got that little guy.

And you're like, don't say.

Don't say it.

I know you're thinking it.

Don't say it.

Don't say it out.

Don't you dare say it out loud.

I'm like, I have a question.

Like, I don't understand why people are devastated by this.

Because logistically speaking, nothing really happened.

Like, just, let's start over, right?

My brain, logically.

And then, of course, all the women in the room just now, I'm the enemy.

How dare you say that?

I'm like, logistically, it's speaking so I gotta stop being so logistical about it.

And for all you ladies who just did that, who are core listeners out there, Rise Church does not support the truth response is not supported.

So, no, I mean that's not a bad thing.

Just to say that, like, okay, guys, brains work differently.

Like sometimes we have to gain understanding that sounds.

And it sounds heartless whenever we bring it up.

And I think that's a normal guy thing.

I think.

And sometimes we just don't know how to ask it the right way.

But we need to know.

We have to be able to help process things.

And so we have to ask the questions that seem insensitive.

Yep.

And maybe could pick a better time to.

No, no, no, I get it.

That'll be a great podcast.

Talking about marriage and stuff like that.

Sounds good.

Actually.

I think one of the best things that I've got in my life right now is my 17 year old daughter is an amazing sounding board for helping me understand my wife better.

So I'll say something, my wife will get upset and she'll storm upstairs and I'll look at my daughter and then she'll make a face and I'll say, okay, what did I say wrong?

She goes, well, okay, so you know how you said this?

Okay, well, I heard it like this.

I'm like, oh, okay.

And I'll just immediately go apologize because like I didn't catch it.

So I love having a sounding board sitting right next to me.

Hopefully my daughter will be that way for me.

But how old is she?

Nine.

I have two daughters and my second, my younger daughter is wild, so I can't wait till she's a teenager.

My older daughter is 16.

I went.

There's times where she and I talk about like sounding board stuff, but for the most part I use her for intel.

Like when it comes to.

Well, I mean, not necessarily on my.

Daughter, but like if your kids are listening, you know, who's the one?

So for instance, like, so she's obviously she's in the high school youth group.

And so you know, if I'm like, what have you heard about this?

You know, what about this person?

You know, if I'm trying to get some info on this or that and that's paid off.

Give me the dirt.

Sorry.

Any students that are listening.

She's never mean.

She's not a narc.

She's not a narc.

Sounds like her.

My boys are more of a narc than she is.

But she.

But no, but it's great to get some.

Like if somebody's going through Something like, is she okay?

He.

Is he okay?

Okay.

But, yeah, she's my daughter, and I have a very interesting relationship because she's actually, she's not my by blood, but I did adopt her, so she is mine with my last name.

But because I wasn't there at the very forefront, she and I had to build a relationship.

And we have a great relationship.

It's just kind of interesting, the stuff that she will come to me about versus the stuff she'll go to her mom.

I'm always kind of amazed by that because sometimes she comes to me and I'm like, I feel like this is something you would have gone to your mom about.

And then sometimes I'm like, why couldn't you tell me that?

It feels so good when they start getting really serious.

And you're like, you're coming to me?

Yes.

This is how I feel, and this is what this person's doing.

And I'm like, yes.

But this is where.

Going back to the whole idea of rooted.

Right.

So the three things I really tried to pull out, because obviously we need solutions to these issues.

Right?

So rooted number one, being rooted in Scripture.

Right?

Yeah.

And so I think that that's.

That's literally where all of your answers are.

My.

My father in law was amazing at.

He was one of those guys that could just pull scripture, tell you where it is, what it said, different translations.

Whenever I would sit down and have a problem, he would, instead of saying, this is what I think you need to do, he would say, okay, go to the book of James.

I think it's chapter three.

Go to verse 19 and read it.

Yep.

Okay, now read the next one.

Okay, now go to Job and read chapter two.

All right, I'll come back in a few minutes.

Okay.

What did you get out of that?

It's like I'm trying to train myself to be more like that.

But he has an answer for everything because it's deadlocked in his brain.

Right?

So when we get to these situations, go, man, I just don't know how to talk to my wife.

She's acting like this.

Well, what does the scripture say?

Well, I don't know.

It's like, then you're not rooted in it, Right?

I don't think I'm like him.

But there's been.

I will say that's beneficial to some people, though, when you're.

When they're going through something, you're like, you should read this verse right here.

Although, note to all guys out there, if you're in the middle of a fight.

Don't be like.

But the Bible says that's a bad.

That's a bad.

Go to.

I've learned the hard way a lot.

There are times I've tried it, but hey.

So.

Just saying.

No, yeah, you're right.

The answers are there.

And I tell you what, it is really useful for so many things, but you got to read it.

You know, just going to someone else for those verses and stuff isn't enough.

You got to read it.

Let it become part of you.

Yep.

Let it be written on your heart and on your mind.

And so you know what you look at?

I'll give you the perfect example when you're looking at Jonah.

Jonah, when he was in the whale.

His prayer was basically a mixture of scripture.

It was like he had eaten so much from the Lord that that's the only thing that he could regurgitate.

It was beautiful in many ways.

I mean, it was messy and such, but that's what makes it wonderful.

You can tell the emotion in it.

It's so amazing.

And so, like, that should be you.

You should be ingesting so much God, so much of his Word that it's able to come out of you.

And even if you don't know the verse and which Bible book it is and which verse, number or chapter number, get it conceptually to where, you know, this is what the Bible has to say about this and this.

There's a character that went through this, or, you know, someone in history has done this and experienced God in such a way, and I can relate to it.

Once you have it that way, then you're on the right path.

Yeah, that's the scripture says, you know, hide his Word in your heart, you know, for multiple reasons, to be honest.

One obviously is so that you don't sin.

But another one is what I think all of our mutual responsibility and goal is after becoming a Christian, and that is to understand the will of God and do it well.

You can't do the will of God if you don't understand the will of God.

You can't understand the will of God until you've become a new creation and have been transformed.

You can't be transformed unless your mind is renewed.

And you can't do that without, you know, dumping, Studying.

Yep.

Right.

And trying to understand who.

Who God is, who Christ is.

It's that whole concept of, like, the glass of dirty water, and you start pouring clean water into it, and you have to dump 10 times more into it to wash all that dirty water out.

Right.

And I was even thinking about, like, we're talking about serving.

Right?

Yeah.

So being rooted in the mission was the second point that I had made.

And obviously the mission is the Great Commission to go out, make disciples.

So I actually started in 2014.

I concepted a board game.

Right.

I've been sitting on it for.

Since 2014 because I don't know what to do with it.

But recently, God has brought some people into my life and it's now in process.

And so I'm hoping by Christmas 2026, you're going to see it on this.

Portal Adventure is going to be on the shelf of Target.

I'm claiming it.

Portal Adventure.

I'll explain later.

Yes, I want to hear about.

So look out for it, guys.

That's right.

Photo adventure.

Mark your calendars.

But so, but so in the.

When I was trying to develop, like, the mission statement of the company.

So my company is called Dax Entertainment.

So Dave, Alicia, Kaylin, Siler.

That's my little family of four.

Right.

So Dax Entertainment's mission statement is inspiring communities and families to grow together through connection.

My whole goal is to get you off your phone, right.

And then sitting around a table.

So I've had people come to me and say, you know what?

It'll be cheaper if you just made it an app and people could just download it.

I'm like, but that's not the mission.

The mission is to get you off your phone and start paying attention to each other.

So when you look at the Great Commission, the Great Commission is to go out and make disciples, right.

And spread the gospel.

Okay.

So in every interaction you have, any time you're up there, serving is what I'm doing.

Making a disciple is what I'm doing.

Spreading the gospel.

If it's not, then you're not in the mission you're running.

So it's basically the filter that you can start running things through.

And I found this quote from David Livingston where he says, because once we accept Jesus into our lives, we are now given the Great Commission.

We have now been sanctioned and sent out to complete the task.

Right.

And so he said, if a commission by an earthly king is considered to be an honor, then how can a commission by a heavenly king be considered a sacrifice?

That's interesting.

I think it's.

Well, it could be both.

Yeah.

But I like that a lot.

And I love that because we're talking about serving in the church too.

Yes.

So we have the Great Commission that oversees everything that we're doing.

And then what's your church as part of this Great Commission.

How is your church living out.

What's your church's mission in the Great Commission?

It's so important.

So as you said, get involved with a church and then go on in with.

Mission on mission with them.

For instance, like our church, you know, and we're in the same county.

Not only the same county, we're in the same city in the same county.

We're less than 10 minutes away.

And our missions are probably very much.

I don't know your mission statement, but I know that we're probably basically like, we're trying to make an impact here.

We're trying to live out the Great Commission here.

We want to bring the community into the church here.

And that is so important, you know, so if.

If you're on mission with.

If you were on mission with this church, or if I'm mission with your church, we're trying to live that out to make the impact here, you know, that's it.

And so get on.

Get in with that and then be part of how you make a difference here.

Be part of.

And then that doesn't mean that you can't go on mission trips and be one of those people, but be part of how that church is making the difference.

Go all in with it, you know, and every piece of that puzzle is important.

You know, it's the whole body of Christ, everybody, and everybody that makes it happen in this church.

Every person that volunteers to make Sunday service.

Let's just look at Sundays happen.

It's so vital.

And it doesn't matter what position, if it's holding a door, if it's shaking a hand, if it's setting out the coffee or cookies or holding the door, whatever it is, just.

It's all important.

You know, I've talked to so many pastors where some of the greatest stories they've had about impact of the church.

Start with the person that held the door for them.

Yep, I'm gonna.

I'll give you a cheat code.

So for two years, I ran the.

The serve team over at Victory.

And for those two years, I remember when I first took over, I told.

I basically they allowed me to get up on stage and say, hey, I'm having.

For anyone interested in starting the serve team, I'm now the leader and I'm gonna just have a little informational thing.

I'm also gonna have an ice cream bar.

And So I had 74 people show up and the pastor walked in and he goes, this is more than we get to anything.

What did you do?

I'm like, I don't know.

I just told him I was gonna be here.

But I started studying.

There's a book called Excellence Wins by a gentleman named Horst Schultze, who is the founder and CEO of the Ritz Carlton hotels.

So he.

He coined the phrase, we are ladies and gentlemen, serving ladies and gentlemen, every single one, all the way down to who washes the clothes.

You deserve to stay in this hotel, but today you get the honor of serving somebody else, right?

And so I based almost every single thing that I did with the serve team.

So the ushers, the greeters, parking lot and everything.

I based it on a lot of his concepts.

And I remember at the time, I had one gentleman who said.

He said, give me a job that nobody wants.

I said, well, nobody wants to do the parking lot.

It's Florida.

It's hot, right?

And he goes, okay, let me see what I can do.

And so I walked hand in hand with him for several weeks and basically just kept pushing in like you're the first person people see, right?

By the time they get.

So they get to the car.

So we developed this system where they would come in, and we've got two entrances on either side of the church.

So when a car comes in, they would be stopped by somebody.

It's like, hey, like, if it's somebody we know, then just.

We direct them to where the general parking is.

If we didn't recognize the face, we gesture to roll down the window.

It's like, is this your first time?

Yeah.

What's your name?

My name's Betty.

Like, oh, Betty.

We have special parking.

And they gesture them to this other parking.

They would get on the radio, call the other guy and say, hey, Betty's coming in the red minivan.

This is her first time.

So they would pull up and then our guy would meet him at the truck.

Hey, Betty, My name is John.

Let me take you inside.

And they would walk them inside, walk them to our, you know what you call it, the greeting center or welcome center.

And then they would get the information, they would walk them through and kind of give them like a half tour of the church.

They get this red carpet treatment from start to finish.

So by doing that, you're talking about just opening the door.

By the time the Horst was saying in his book that.

Let's say you've by that.

So in your particular church, like, by the time they are about, let's call it 50ft off, they're already starting to make up their mind whether or not they're coming back, right?

So if they are not hit with a smile if they're not hit with a hello or something, that if they don't get that kind of treatment, what you're doing is you're allowing them.

Their heart is starting to get hard.

So if you can just by being that little extra, then by the time they get in, their hearts are already softened to start hearing what God's got.

It's like, oh, people actually care about me here, right?

So I tell you what, I love it a lot.

And I have two things.

So one, it reminds me of the story.

I know I got away from the mic, hey, can everybody hear me now?

So, yeah, so I recently, I fix it in post.

So yeah, we'll see how that works.

There's gonna be a drop off.

So I had a story that I recently did in one of my sermons I put out there where I heard about this guy who worked in a NASA building and he swept and cleaned the floors and he saw it as really important work.

He's like, yeah, because I do what I do.

They get to come to work and do what they do and we get to put someone in space.

And I love that mentality of, no matter what you're doing, it's important.

I'll tell you what, though, you're right.

I was saying, you know, there's three things we want people to have happen when they come in the doors, especially if it's their first time.

They need to see, they need to feel welcome, they need to see our heart and experience God.

And if they can do those three things, then we've won.

And so, you know, if you're the part you're talking, if feeling welcome, feeling like this is a place they could be, that they should be, that they maybe want to be, best part.

But if you get to that point and they can see that your heart is genuine and this is about God and that we love this and we love you for being here.

And boom, next step.

Now they can be open to do the most important thing and that is experience God.

That's it while they're here.

And I love that so much.

Yeah.

And everybody plays an important role in that.

And it's something that we need to instill in our teams, you know, with the is why, like, even with the youth groups, you know, when I sit down with my team, we have a team dinner meeting.

It's like, okay, this is my heart on how we should be, you know, looking at these kids, how I want these kids to be approached, how I want them to feel, you know, those kinds of things.

Because it's really important.

We need to be able to set the tone and go.

Everything we do, you know, could be.

And it goes back to that book I mentioned by Andy Stanley.

If this is the thing that either makes or breaks someone going with their salvation, it's so important that we get it right.

Yep.

And then the last thing, the last point that I made is obviously being rooted in service, was talking about how.

So my full time job is I work for Roman Roofing.

I'm an estimator, right?

So as soon as I put that Roman Roofing shirt on, if I'm in my truck, then I am representing Roman Roofing.

If I show up and I start acting like a jack wagon, then that makes the company look bad.

Right.

And so every time they interact with somebody from the company, they're gonna go, oh, I know your company.

You're.

I actually had an experience.

It was super early in the morning, and I'm driving to Cape Coral where we're based out of.

And I'm driving and I look over and there's this guy who's giving like, he's.

He was doing that.

He was putting the thumbs down out the window over and over and over.

And I thought, maybe I'm going too fast.

I'm like, nope, I'm going three miles over the speed limit.

I'm good.

So then I thought, okay.

So I rolled down my window and he just shakes his head and he keeps giving me thumbs down.

We're going 50 miles an hour down, colonial.

I'm like, what in the world?

So I'm like.

So I'm like.

I let go of the steering wheel to see if maybe.

Man, a flat tire.

Maybe it starts veering like, nope.

I'm like, okay.

So I'm just confused.

Finally look back, and he just throws a middle finger up and just holds it up as he, you know, gets off on the entrance ramp.

I'm like, what did he.

What did I do?

Right?

And so I thought to myself, either I did something or he had a bad experience with Roman and he just doesn't like Roman.

Right.

So I was reading through.

So Second Corinthians 5:20 says, so we are in.

We are Christ's ambassadors.

God is making his appeal through us.

We speak for Christ when we plead.

Come back to God.

So this is so living in service is not just serving in the church on a Sunday.

This is literally the lifestyle you have chosen.

And every interaction you have with a human being outside of the church directly points you back to or away from God, right?

Yeah, I love that.

Yeah.

Many years ago I had this blog and I had written an article about.

It's so important to understand that when we come to Christ, we're not wearing a uniform.

Whether you realize it or not, you're wearing a Christ uniform.

You represent him now.

And for some people, that's.

You're their only experience, you know, and so if you let yourself go and go crazy, that's now.

You now represented Jesus that way.

Yep.

And if you can get it, keep it together.

I had a guy that I served with for a few years, we did men's groups and one day he came to me, it was right before group and he said, I think I messed up.

And I was like, I was like, what?

And he's like, well, I was in Walmart and I wasn't having a very good day.

And this kid came up to me and was just like, hey, can I get.

And I just kind of was really short and ill tempered.

And then as soon as the kid walked away, he's like, oh, I blew it.

Yeah.

And it's like, yeah, but that's, that's it, you know, and it's important to keep yourself in check, you know, self discipline.

There's a reason that's important, you know, going out there and representing.

Well, in everything that we do, whether it's at church, the baseball stadium, your kids, school, the local park, your own household, you got to try to.

And the household is one of the hardest places for so many.

And I can speak to especially because like I've got five kids.

There's a lot.

And the thing is, when you come home, no matter if you're working at a job where you're putting on the uniform, a physical uniform, and you represent that company, or if you're just out representing God, when you come home, you often want to turn off, you kind of want to relax, you want to.

And the thing is, is that's when we let our guard down.

And our guard down is when we can get a little snippy because one of our kids asked a question that we didn't want to hear right now or something broke.

And now we're going a little off the tizzy more than we should have because we just, we didn't keep it together.

And there's been times where I've been like, to my kid and my wife will look at me and goes, would you ever spoken to one of your kids in the youth group like that?

I was like, oh man, that one hurt.

And no, I wouldn't have.

Yes, I wouldn't have.

Yes, I would have.

Because they needed to hear it.

That's right.

You know, well, in that particular sense, that was not.

But, yeah, but you gotta keep representing.

And look, I know.

I know it sometimes is hard, but it's worth it.

And I also know that sometimes you mess up.

Sure.

And don't let that defeat you.

Get right back on that horse.

Yep.

Yo, take.

Taking responsibility for your mistakes is an amazing corrector.

Like the amount of times where I'm like, hey, I shouldn't have yelled.

That was.

I mean, I don't really yell that much, but it's like, hey, I was super.

I'm super sarcastic.

So, like, at one point I bothered my son.

And then at one point he was.

I'm like, okay, what did I do?

And he goes, well, just.

You're so sarcastic, and I'm trying to be better.

I'm like, you know what?

I apologize.

Like, I. I am sarcastic, and I'm going to work on that.

You know, it's like just being able to say, yep, I screwed up.

This is on me.

I even had a situation in the networking group where I had.

There was a pest control guy, and I was going through, what is it?

Next door, and I saw this lady asking for pest control.

Now, my instinct is to go into their messages, send them a direct message saying, this is the guy I recommend, and then I'll try to find a way to hook them up.

Right?

And just as I was going back and forth, this lady, it became very clear that she's going to be a Karen, Right?

She wants this person to come whenever she feels like it.

She doesn't want to pay top dollar.

She wants.

And she's in and out of the country.

And so I'm like, this is a nightmare.

So I said, you should probably just go with home team Pest Defense.

They've got people set up for this.

Well, he found out and it was like, hey, that's not okay.

I thought it was part of your group.

Why aren't you promoting me?

And so I was attempting to police for him.

And so I was like, you know what?

I apologize.

And I wound up trying to connect them.

And I said, I'm trying to make up for it.

But he was always.

He was too hurt, so he took off.

But.

Right.

It was like, I didn't even think about, like, you know what?

From now on, you just police your own self.

I apologize.

Well, I get it.

You know, that's.

There's people that we.

That remind us of someone else or show us signs of things that we've seen before.

And we even.

We need to be extra careful when those things happen because, yeah, we can make knee jerk decisions.

And I tell you what, in the church, it's really dangerous to let that thing happen because you could accidentally drive someone away for no reason.

Reason.

Oh, for sure.

And just by not being as welcoming as you could just that or you know, not giving them the smile or anything because you're.

Instead, you're like, they remind me of someone who hurt me.

It's easy, you know, it's so real.

I gave up a lot of that.

And I think that I understand where what you're making point wise, but I'm to a point where I'm done tiptoeing.

Sure.

I'm not gonna put on a happy face just to put on a happy face for you.

I would rather be at a church where you saw people's feelings, saw people's day, saw people's emotions on their sleeves, and just know that it's a real place right then.

Somewhere where I am overwhelmingly welcomed, you know, And I know that I'm not everybody, but I also am not.

Not here to please any of you.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's.

Any of you.

I'm not.

I'm not here to please anybody.

Right.

I want to connect and I want to be real and I want to.

I want to help as many people as I can, and I do want to please as many people as I can.

But that's not my goal.

That's not my.

That's not my purpose.

And my purpose is.

Is far beyond pleasing the next person.

And so I don't know.

I think that, that, that's great.

Probably from the majority of people, I just.

I. Yep.

Well, it was probably the most profound scene in a Disney movie y' all seen Inside Out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

The first one, when Joy is trying to, like, tickle him when he's upset and dance around and make him laugh and that kind of stuff.

And the sadness just sits down and doesn't say a dang thing, and they both start bawling their eyes out, and then they're better.

It's like there are so many times, like, that's the biggest Christian pitfall, is I'm having a rough time.

Like, oh, you know what, dude?

God's got it, man.

You need to be excited.

And like, sometimes they just need you to give.

Pray more.

Yep.

Pray more.

Pray harder.

Yeah.

That's an interesting niche to learn how to do is to Decipher which way we need to go with this.

Yep.

Do you need me to encourage you or do you need me to let you.

Yeah.

Recently I just started being like, okay, if you just need somebody to sit in silence, I can do that with you.

I'm not good at that.

Don't get me wrong.

But, like, if you need somebody to sit in silence, like, call me.

Don't be alone.

Yep.

We can't do this thing alone.

So don't.

Don't do it alone.

But like, anybody who says, you know, I'm struggling with depression or, you know, whatever.

Loneliness or whatever.

All right, just don't do it alone.

Like, you let.

Let me be there.

I will not say a word.

We don't have to talk about anything that's going on.

We can just BS Whatever, you know, but don't do it alone.

Yeah, I've had.

In the past couple of months, I've had conversations with people, and one.

I remember one person I had conversation with was like, what can you tell me?

They were going through something really bad, and they were asking for me to give them something to help them give me something to help me see this better, do better.

And that was an interesting conversation.

And at the end of the conversation, I saw that person actually in a better mood.

And then it was actually right before a church service, and then I see them worshiping, and I was like, well, God, you did something.

Because I didn't feel prepared for it going in, but there we are, and that person is great.

Then.

Yet at another time in the past couple months, I was talking with someone who they just needed to just let.

They needed me to just listen to them.

I could talk to them about what they're going through and maybe even relate, but they didn't need me to try to give them the Bible answers.

They're like, look, I know I don't need people to tell me is what they said.

I don't need the people to tell me things.

I already know.

I get it.

Yes, I know.

Yes, that's true.

But that's not what I need right now.

I need somebody just to sit here with me.

I love that, and I love the openness of that person in that moment.

Just go, yes, I know these things, but if somebody's gonna tell me that, it's gonna make me want to pull back.

How many times has somebody passed away?

And the first thing we do is, you know what?

They're in a better place.

You're like, yes, I know that, but it still hurts.

Oh, yeah.

Yep.

But I'm assuming we're getting close to the time.

So what are we leaving people with?

I was gonna say, what's your final thoughts on this?

Like, what is land the plane?

I would say biggest thing just to kind of recap is the.

You stay rooted in scripture, it's gonna answer all your questions.

You stay rooted in the mission.

The mission is your filter.

Am I leading people to God or am I pulling people away from God?

And you stay rooted in service, knowing that you're an ambassador for Christ.

And every single interaction either pushes them closer or pulls them away.

Yeah.

I love it.

That's good stuff.

That is good.

That's good.

And now a word from our sponsor, KitKat.

I was gonna say, anything you want to plug?

I mean, plug.

Let's see.

Victory Church, Young transform young adults.

Tonight is our Christmas party.

We meet every first and third Wednesday.

Doors open at 6:30.

And that's a.

It's a pretty great place to be.

All right.

Anything.

Anything.

Well, I just.

No, I think I've really enjoyed this conversation.

Yeah, that's good.

And it was a little more all over the place, like our.

Our rabbit holes.

Normally, I know, but.

Rabbit holes?

Yeah, but that's where.

That's more of a two and a half to three hour conversation.

You lock in and then you just see where the.

Sometimes.

Yep.

Start pulling the talking point cards, see what happens.

That's happened.

I got you.

But, yeah, no, I mean, I love it.

I think you're right.

And keep that uniform on.

Know that you're wearing it.

Yes, sir.

If it helps, I actually.

I purposely wear clothes with Jesus on it or something that has something to do with God or faith.

Because I'm like, look, I'm putting this on.

I'm being intentional, and I pay attention that I'm wearing that shirt that day or that hat that day or whatever it is.

And.

Yeah, but you're wearing it live.

Like you're wearing it.

Beautiful.

Also, don't be.

Don't be afraid of screwing up.

Yep.

Actually, I was gonna say with the.

With when I was referencing Sean and I was like, I can't give him any more.

He turned around, he looked at me and he said, don't like.

It's kind of the concept of sales is.

My biggest fear is letting people spend their own money.

Right.

Like, you shouldn't have to spend that.

Right.

And his.

His point was, he goes, don't tell me what I can handle.

Tell me what's going on, and if I can't handle it, I will help you.

Find someone who can.

There you go.

That's interesting.

But, yeah, and I love that.

Don't be afraid to fail.

It happens.

You know, there's a big difference between salvation, which is instant, and sanctification, which is your lifelong journey.

And you need to take it one step at a time, one day at a time, and just keep moving forward.

Also, it's way better to be wearing the uniform and make a mistake than to just ignore the uniform altogether.

And that is, you know, that's true.

That I am a Christian.

That is my identity.

Yep.

All the rest of it are descriptors.

Everything else is a description.

That's right.

So if you come to church and then you start cutting people off in the parking lot, we're glad you're here.

That's right.

Yeah.

We will pray for you.

And anything that is less severe than that, like drug addiction or anything else.

That's right.

Yeah.

All right.

So lots of crazy, ridiculous, fun and serious conversation happened today.

Yeah, this is good.

And hopping on with us.

100%.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Oh, yeah, Merry Christmas.

It's 100% coming out on Monday before.

Christmas, which makes his plug for tonight.

Well, that's true.

But, yeah, it was a lot of fun, guys.

But no.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I'm having a Christmas party tonight with the middle school.

So it's like.

Yeah, I don't need to say anything about that because by the time this comes out, both the parties are gone.

Do we have middle schoolers that listen to this?

I don't know.

My boys will sometimes.

Yeah, yeah.

But, yeah, so, no, just, you know, keep subscribing.

We're.

We're finishing up the year.

Let's finish our 86.

We're 86.

We're trying to get to 100 subscribers on YouTube.

Help us get there.

We're almost there.

And.

And now you can help with the.

So.

But the thing is, is once.

If we can get to 100 subscribers by, you know, the end of next month, we're planning a live podcast event.

Which is gonna be for our 250 episodes.

We're working on some surprises.

Yes.

Yeah.

And so.

But, yeah, we want to get to 100.

And I think it's.

We're there.

So, you know, if.

Especially episodes like this, if you're like, hey, somebody needs to hear this.

Send it out.

Any other ones that we've done, send it out.

Get everybody listening.

Let's get every liking.

Hit that subscribe button.

Don't forget, if you are interested, we have our Patreon.

Yep.

Patreon and for Patreon subscribers, the.

The.

The two higher tiers, I think it's a 10 and a $20 tier.

Gets you the extra added bonuses of the.

There's the weekly devotions and there's a couple other things.

T shirts.

We need to get stickers.

We need to get hat going too.

I would love to get.

I've got one designed.

We need to make that happen.

Maybe I actually have one that is purchasable at the church shop.

Maybe.

Okay.

Run a promotion like the first 20 subscribers in the month of January get a free hat.

Yeah, he is speaking outside.

That's outside the budget.

Yeah, right.

Fair enough.

But no truth response does not support all the viewpoints.

Or should I say Dave is sponsoring 20 hats.

Oh, I see how it goes.

Anyways, okay.

Yeah.

I mean, but it's gonna be great.

Yeah, Keep throwing it out there.

You make this work.

We love doing this.

So thank you.

Thank you for coming on.

Of course.

This has been wonderful and I hope.

I'll be able to come back because this was fun.

I'm waiting for the next time already.

And as always, guys, God bless.

Hey, thanks for joining us.

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