Foreign.

Welcome to the Own youn Choices on youn Life podcast.

I know you are here wanting to change and rewrite your story.

You are desiring to step into the impact that you know you were here to create.

I am here to guide you with the proven tools and strategies used by myself and our speakers to support you in taking radical responsibility in your life and learning how to own your choices to change your story.

My name is Marcia Van Winesburg.

I am a storytelling business coach, master NLP trainer, speaker, podcaster, and seven times published author.

My clients have found freedom and purpose from overcoming their shame stories and learning how to share them with the world.

I am so grateful you are here.

Let's get started.

Welcome back to the show.

I am so thrilled to have this conversation and share this with you with Allura Hollywell.

Allura and I had this beautiful, deep conversation, understanding and going all into what is the Consciousness Method.

Elora is a spiritual awakening mentor and the creator of the Consciousness Method, a framework designed to help high achievers, spiritual seekers, and modern mothers move from burnout and unconscious patterns into emotional sovereignty and conscious living.

Her work bridges spiritual insight with practical transformation, guiding people to integrate awareness, self worth, and inner healing into tangible results in daily life.

We went deep, as we typically do on the show, and it was such a beautiful conversation and a reminder of how there are so many of us wanting to open up to seeing the world a different way, thinking and believing and feeling.

And it really does come down to consciously interrupting, seeing our patterns and learning a new way of being.

Welcome to the show today, Allura.

I just fascinated with your name.

Sorry, I'm so grateful to have you here.

Oh, my absolute pleasure, Marcia.

And the name is a little bit fascinating.

It's actually not my birth name.

Oh, it's not?

Okay, tell me more.

Yeah, after I had the level of transformation I had, which was such a deep core identity level transformation, I was kind of given a new name in meditation and I was like, are you sure that's the right name?

Can we pick something else?

And it was really clear over and over again.

So that name's come through as being the name that I, that I am at this point in my experience.

And changing my name to that was pretty intense because it took a lot to break a lot of the identity constructs of, you know, who I was, who I was expected to be, and honoring my birth name and my parents, but also honoring the choice to be the sovereign being that I am and, and being able to take that name and move forward with it.

So it holds a lot of resonance for me.

My.

That name.

Oh, that's beautiful.

I love that you talked about the resistance that you felt from, you know, others.

And we're going to dive into your story.

I'm just curious on this piece with your name, the resistance you felt from others as well as maybe even yourself, did you have moments of like, am I actually gonna go change it too?

Like, is this what I'm gonna do?

Um, what was that time like?

Yeah, it was because there was so much deep level change occurring within me, within the structure of how I was relating to my relationships, to my identity, as I mentioned, to what I was here to do, I suppose, activation on all levels.

And that was just the icing on the cake.

And it was almost like at that period, I was being pushed to go beyond any limitations that were holding me to a version of myself that wasn't fully aligned.

And to be able to come up and tell people, you know, my ex husband at the time and my family and people around me to say, I am going to change my name.

There was a lot of pushback.

They were like, hold on a minute.

Are you crazy?

Why would you change your name?

This is like, we just take a name and we have that name our whole lives.

And I was like, well, the identity that I am encompassing and being right now feels very aligned to this, to this frequency that is held in this name.

And it was really, I think the tuning into that part of yourself when you're like, this is where you need to go sometimes it's easy to not listen to that, right?

And go, you know what?

I don't want to go there.

That's too hard, too tough.

But that was actually a really big piece in my awakening to keep going to the places I didn't want to go.

Mm.

I always believe that we get these taps and nudges and nudges and nudges, and all of a sudden it's like, no, you're not listening.

We're, like, gonna smack you right upside the head.

Like, there are times, especially if you're connected.

Have you always been very in tune?

Connected spiritually?

I'm gonna guess no, but from the look on your face.

But I'm just curious.

Yeah, no, it's such a great question.

No, I think I've always been a sensitive thing, so I've always.

And I think the sensitivity from a young age has probably bought a lot of pain for me, because growing up, and I'm sure a lot of those listeners and maybe yourself can tune in with that that sensitivity brings you a really deep awareness of life, but also a kind of a trapped feeling.

So I lived most of my life feeling super sensitive, super overwhelmed by everything around me, but not really knowing how to navigate it.

So then, you know, the suppression comes in and you try to conform to make life what you think it should be to feel safe because you're feeling so unsafe in yourself.

So my life was pretty traditional and trying to follow along with the rules of conduct to try and get, get me to a place where I felt okay, but everything just felt a little bit off until I became more aware of who I, I really am.

And that journey was painful, to be honest, to really come into that awareness.

But on the flip of that, it's just being the most liberating, powerful awareness to have.

Yeah, thank you for sharing.

Can you take us back to what life was like before this moment so that people can get a, a sense of what it felt like and how it felt?

Like.

Like.

No, I'm being forced on this journey right now and I'm being asked to listen.

So for me, I, I wasn't in, I wouldn't say I was in a, like a true kind of trauma zone when this happened, but I was in a very suppressed zone.

So I was the mum of three and still am the mum of three beautiful children at that point, four, six and eight.

And a part of my coding was that I was just obsessed with my children to the point of being very highly anxious and overwhelmed with being a mum and having separation anxiety when they'd go to daycare, feeling like I couldn't really do everything in the right way to make them feel okay.

And subsequently they were feeling anxious and I was seeing them begin to develop different coping mechanisms to deal with my anxiety.

And that was even more traumatizing because I was like, oh my gosh, I'm screwing up my kids and it's really intense.

And at the same time I had very dysregulated husband who was emotionally just not able to, to be present in any form.

And that stress, I think was a big piece on me because of my unloved wounding.

I was just wanting to placate, I was wanting to soothe, I was wanting to create this white picket fence life.

But the pressure on me and my soul was just immense.

And growing up always trying to seek love outside of myself, to try to feel safe within myself had being a driving force.

So I wouldn't say there was anything on a really like high trauma level.

It was just low grade, constant pressure on Me to.

To create something that felt safe around me, but feeling completely disconnected and unsafe inside of me.

Mm.

Thank you so much for sharing that.

That is something that I have really explored over the last few years, really going down the work with NLP and subconscious work and understanding.

Somebody said about inner safety and when you have not spent any time, like, I spent most of my life in my head and disconnected, so I didn't understand inner safety.

It kind of felt soft, like I was like, what do you mean, inner safety?

Like, I don't get that.

And the more I explored, it was like, oh, it is a core need.

Like, it's a core desire to feel the grounded in safety.

And when we have that safety, then we can go do like more or different things in our life, but we have to believe that we're okay with ourselves.

I could not agree more.

And I thought that safety came from regulation and kind of going in and sort of being all loving to self and enough for self.

But actually what I found was the biggest inner safety work I had to do was getting really safe with the pain that I had, really safe with the fear that I had, really safe with the parts of myself that I really struggled to accept.

And through stretching myself internally to be safe in those parts that I was trying to reject, I created this sort of internal world where instead of trying to move away from my pain or always being reacting to the kind of construct of my fear that created all these limitations and overwhelm, I was able to meet those places and stretch through them.

And that created a lot of expansion within me, to actually feel safe within me.

And that.

That for me was a really pivotal moment because I spent a lot of time sort of post awakening, trying to find a modality that could soothe me and make me feel okay in myself.

But it was only when I broke through all those kind of layered experiences that I was trying to avoid internally that I began to feel more safety inside.

Thank you for sharing it the way that you did, because I know people can search for, like, the thing, the modality, to help you feel.

And again, that still comes external, right?

That's still something external.

And so what you're saying is, is that you had to come to a space where you could face, recognize, see the pain, get familiar with it, understand, not build a judgment piece about it either.

Is that.

Is that correct?

Yes.

Yeah.

I see pain as a portal.

And pure pain as a sensation within the body is something that I believe as humans, we need to develop an understanding about what that is and how that Feels and how to navigate that in a way that we feel clear on what we're doing.

Because the suppression of pain and the over activation of pain, where you just act out through your pain, those two modes of the nervous system are actually protecting a deeper level of pain in the body.

That when you get to know pain as a portal, it's actually an energetic and emotional gateway that we can open within the body.

So I work a lot with people, educating them and helping them feel supported to know that pain is real and it's a safe place to go in your body.

But you need to acclimatize yourself to the sensation of pain.

The story we tell about our pain will often be the protective illusion or way that we kind of package up that pain so it feels safe to us.

But it's always a sensation in the body that we need to meet and begin to transverse.

And when we can meet that in such a profound way that we realize that is a connective space.

So instead of pain being a space where we move out of and we go, we don't want to go there because it's too much, we go into the pain.

That's when I see the most radical liberation in people.

Because they no longer fear their own pain.

No longer fear your own pain.

How long did it take you to get to that point and did you almost stumble into that?

How did you know that was the direction you were meant to go?

So when I had my awakening, I had like a near death experience where I left my body and I left my body spontaneously.

There was no drugs, there was no plant medicine, there was no bodily trauma.

I literally was at a meditation retreat, I fell over on the beach and my consciousness disengaged from my body.

I went through the white light which people talk about when they die.

And then I merged with what felt like the void or the all or this just infinite darkness that was filled with everything.

I was back to source and I, I, I experienced that with a level of consciousness where I could just hold onto a thread because I was almost at the point of dissolving into nothing.

That experience and coming back into my body changed the way I perceived this reality.

It was almost like the blinkers had been taken off and I began to see the construct of reality.

And I began to ask these very deep questions because sort of being incepted back into this world, leaving and coming back in and then awakening with this vast connection, I was going, why?

Why is my nervous system running in these wounds?

Why have I got all this stored pain in My body that I fear so deeply.

Why am I looping on these behaviors and patterns and not able to get out?

So that initiated a huge inquiry within me.

And through that the pain work came up when I was so stuck in the loop of saying, there is something that I keep fearing and it's nothing outside of me.

The only thing every human fears, the only thing I fear is my own pain.

If I don't have a deep, resonant relationship with my pain, I will stay stuck for the rest of my life.

I'll be avoiding.

I'll be choosing behaviors that keep me numbed out.

I'll be acting out of the same patterns because I can't find a way through.

And as soon as I realized that and started to work with pain, it was like levels of consciousness started to open up inside me.

Because what I realized is pain basically suppresses consciousness.

So wherever the pain has been laid in your system, it locks you in to behaviors, ways of thinking, ways of being energetic, design patterns that keep you trapped.

So I suppose for the listeners, you might be able to kind of think of a time in your day where you get triggered by something and you're reacting unconsciously.

And often at the core of that reaction, there'll be something that has been painful for you in the past that you just feel like this feels like a life and death scenario.

I need to react and deal with this because there's something deeper there.

That's the pain.

The pain is beneath that always.

So when we go to the pain, it's like we begin to open up over and over again.

So it's so.

I mean, a million questions right now, because my brain just loves this conversation.

The first off, the near death experience, was it scary?

It was terrifying.

Because when I woke up, the actual experience itself wasn't because I was.

When you connect to Source, when you go through that light, it's like it's home.

This is kind of.

This is like going on holiday, coming to.

To Earth.

But when you're in Source and when you, when you move back through that light, back to the all, that's your natural state.

That's our natural state.

So it's.

It's like being completely at home and completely expanded.

And in the truth of ourselves, which is that we are energy and consciousness in.

In a physical dimension, having a physical experience.

And that moment took the fear of death away as well, because I was like, wow, this is just the journey.

And also it made me really aware that we don't really kind of die, we just go on These incredible, you know, activations.

We.

We come into a physical form, we return, we come back.

You know, we move in space and time in such incredible ways.

So.

And kind of was like, oh, we're good.

We're here to experience this.

And it's powerful to have this opportunity.

That is a powerful experience when you were there others around you at the time.

Yeah.

So it looked like I was just having a really deep sleep on the beach, to be honest.

There were people around me when I woke up because I think I'd been out much longer than everyone else and everyone had finished meditating.

They were like, what's going on with her?

And as I came back to my body, it was interesting.

The experience that brought me back was that I touched a frequency of love when I was out.

And I remember touching that frequency of pure, unconditional love.

And that brought me back to this dimension.

And that also showed me that this is meant to be a loving dimension because we can't actually experience love unless there's a degree of separation.

We need something slightly separate from the other thing to be able to have the frequency of love vibrate between it.

So I was like, oh, wow.

We have to.

We can't be in source to experience that truth of that love.

We have to be in a dimension when there's a degree of separation.

So I woke up on the beach and my eyes opened and I.

Everything was energy.

So I didn't.

Couldn't see things as fixed and physical.

Everything was tiny little particles vibrating.

So I looked at the sky, and it was completely luminescent and vibrating.

The beach, the water.

I looked at plants.

It looked like an avatar where every little cell of the plant was vibrating.

But then I looked in the mirror and I had a trauma response because I was like, oh, my God, I'm in a human body.

I don't know why I'm here.

I don't know who I am.

I'd had a level of amnesia where basically I couldn't really truly identify myself.

And then I'd had a big, energetic awakening.

So I started to vibrate.

And that was like a. I kind of refer to it now as a Kundalini awakening.

People know that word where I was vibrating constantly because it was like being plugged into a power socket, planetary power socket.

So I think what had happened is because I'd become more energy than matter.

I just still was energy in my body.

So my nervous system and my brain and all my senses were trying to orientate to such a vast experience.

Yeah, it's Almost like you calibrate and then you're not calibrated.

Everything is, is, is so interesting.

How was the response to people in your life at the time?

I know you just spoke a little bit about it, but I'm just curious because you all of a sudden feel like you have, you know, this vastly different internal representation of the world around you.

And you might feel like this power source, this energy of like, wow, this is amazing.

And I can just picture what some of the reception was.

And how did you navigate that time?

Oh, it was the most difficult thing I've ever done.

I mean, I just, I came out of the room afterwards and I stumbled to like, someone took me to breakfast and I kind of picked things off the buffet and sat down and I didn't really know who to sit with.

Cause I couldn't, I couldn't recognize anyone, but people were like, come and sit here.

And apparently they were my 10 year long friends.

And I sat down and they're like, are you okay?

And I'm like, I'm not sure if I'm okay.

And they're like, what are you doing?

And they looked at my plate and I was like, what?

I'm.

I don't know.

And they're like, you don't eat meat.

And I'd had this.

I'd picked up a sausage or something and popped it on my plate and I was like, oh, I don't eat meat.

The identity of me, the preference of me had just dissolved.

I didn't have a preference.

I didn't have this set identity.

So it was really intense.

And particularly coming home, I looked at my beautiful children.

I was like, I know that I love you and you belong to me, but I can't understand how it came to be that we're here in this moment.

So that was a really big shift that happened with my kids because there was a really deep grief around that, to be honest, because I had to.

This kind of awakening journey that was so extreme took me into a place where I was almost shut off from the world for quite a period of time where I was having to integrate.

So my beautiful kids were like, where are you, mom?

And I was like, I just wasn't there in the same way.

We ended up divorcing because I looked at my ex husband now and I was like, I'm not sure who you are.

I'm so sorry.

I don't know why we're in this relationship.

Mm.

It was a big.

It was a massive price on my human experience and a massive reconfiguration And I just want to spoiler alert.

Like, my children and I are the tightest we've ever been.

They're incredible kids.

They're very, very grounded, beautiful kids.

And they're 15, 13 and 11 now.

And my ex husband's just about to have a baby with a beautiful woman and we all go on holidays together.

Um, so like we've.

And that was a big piece in the reconciliation because after that fracture, my core focus was when I kind of got it back enough, my consciousness back enough in my body.

I was like, I can't do anything until my lived relationships are in the right place.

I cannot help anyone else until I've healed all this myself.

I cannot just abandon these people to have this awakening and then go and serve a lot of strangers.

I need my home life to be completely healed.

And it took time to sit with my children and to sit with them and work through that abandonment space and to have that blip and that understanding that in evolution, in our human evolution, there is going to be change, identities will change, situations will change.

And to be honest, they've come through in a beautiful, resilient way.

But that was a core priority for me to make sure that they were, they were good.

Thank you for sharing that.

There's so many things that I can, I resonate with.

I just think that, you know, we have to be in a space where it's not that our life has to be perfect and solved and done, but we have to be good with where we are before we think to go out and serve other people.

Right.

I really do believe that too.

I think that we have to be.

We can still be in a story, we can still be in a.

We have to feel good about that.

The other piece that is just landing for me, I know my kids are older and I've walked through different things, but I remember having this like, a few of them different higher power, higher spirit awakening moments where I really started to recognize that, like, if I believe that I have a spirit that is meant to be here and has come here to learn things and, and, and live a life, then I also believe that my kids have as well and they have a purpose and they have a.

And it might not make any sense to me sometimes yet it's not my job.

I know when our kids are younger, sometimes we see them as the like, attachment to us and almost this, you know, I, I still struggle sometimes where I hear that and it's like, well, they've done so well.

Like, great job, mom.

And I'm Like, I wish we wouldn't do that.

And personally.

But that's just my own.

My own thought process, because I do believe that we're all walking a journey, and I think we just have people in our path that are serving different purposes.

Oh, I could not agree more.

And.

And we're creating the exact construct around us that serves our evolution.

Unfortunately, though, we kind of get stuck in feeling like we're a victim to reality a lot of the time, that the people around us aren't the ones we need, that we're stuck in circumstances that we feel like we can't quite get out of.

And that's been a really important journey as well, to support people, to understand the power of personal evolution through any level of adversity, which looks like taking the thing that is external to you, which will be reflecting a part of you that needs a radical level of support.

And that thing is not happening to you because you deserve it or because you've done anything wrong.

It's trying to serve you, to show you an external pattern that you can look at within yourself.

And when you realize that, you can shift the internal template that will create for you another level of reality.

And this is not manifestation.

This is not.

I'm just going to imagine something different.

It's working on the deepest levels of your pain, your fear, your consciousness, to stretch your nervous system and to stretch what you're expecting from the reality around you.

And often that works tough.

You have to break with the pattern that you have found to be safe.

Because most of the things that we're putting up with are things we're expecting and things that feel known and things that feel, you know, we've been coded to expect them from childhood.

You know, the level of, you know, dysregulation, the level of not feeling loved, the level of not feeling enough, the level of not feeling seen or heard or understood.

That's being coded in us.

And it takes a bit for us to recognize that and go, you know what?

That's no longer okay for me.

And I'm going to work on that from the inside out, and that's going to shift the reality.

And feeling empowered to do that is super important for me.

And this work.

Yeah.

Mm.

I love everything we're talking about.

And I want to say, like, what if somebody's listening to this and they're like, okay, that sounds like it's all up here.

And I don't know what.

Like, I don't even know what that means or how do I do that in my Own life.

So how did you get from those experiences to being in a space of, like, supporting others on this journey?

What does that journey look like?

Well, the journey for me meant finding.

It turned out to be 12 pieces of how to reconfigure your internal reality to receive a different external reality, and 12 processes to be able to do that.

And that was the way that it was shown to me, the design of reality, and then also how to work with the design of reality.

So when I say the design of reality, we're humans, and we're in this kind of fishbowl of an experience all around us.

And when I came back, I was like, I don't know whether we really understand the mechanism of how we move in reality, how things appear in our realities, how we shift our realities on sort of deeper levels.

So what I wanted to decode was how do we work to move things around that feel stuck?

How do we move relationships?

How do we move patterns on the deeper level?

So the 12 processes that I developed, and one of them is the pain portal.

You know, we've got the stretching of the nervous system.

We've got.

You know, I could run through them all, but they wouldn't mean much to the listeners right now.

But they're 12 processes that allow us to actually meet the whole version of ourselves.

And the thing that I love about it is, is that it's not about me.

It's about the understanding internally.

Because when you see this part of yourself, and that's what was so profound for me, the consciousness.

Not just the.

The behavioral stuff or the emotional stuff or the mental stuff, I realized the only way we could really move was via moving consciousness.

So my pure focus was how do we move the consciousness?

Because the consciousness is attached to the reality we're experiencing.

So going through these processes, I've watched people time and time again shift their consciousness and shift their reality.

And that's where I found real change for me personally to come through.

Yeah.

Thank you for sharing.

I still.

I know I want to.

I'm being called to go back to this.

I'm just going to trust myself.

Pain suppresses consciousness.

I think there's something there that also.

And correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm also trying to understand.

Pain suppresses consciousness.

Is that by, like, not wanting to deal with the pain that it is, suppressing it?

Like, is it the pain itself or is it our avoidance of the pain?

It's a combination.

Okay.

And say, for example, you.

I'm just trying to think of a quick Example, say I am working with someone that has this sense of impending failure.

Like they don't want to try anything new, because if they try something new, there's this really deep, profound fear that they will fail in that.

So I actually had a woman on the call yesterday, went walk through the process with this exact one.

And she went back and she reviewed her whole life, all the moments where she'd been on the precipice of something coming through.

And her not being able to do that because she was like, oh my God, I'm going to fail.

And she did a full life review, and then she could see the patterning over and over and over again.

She realized through that awareness that at the very, very core of that was a very deep unworthiness that arose from her father's sudden death when she was 18 months old.

And the stored cellular pain in her body had basically created a block that had meant that her capacity to move out of that survival mode because the pain was so great, even though it was unconscious, even though she was only 18 months, it was stored in her cellular system, in her nervous system, in her mental system, in her emotional system.

So instead of being able to stretch through into that space, she kept hitting that wall and coming back to protect the pain because the fear of going beyond that was greater than touching that pain.

And for her particular case, the pain was unconscious because it was hidden in that pre verbal, really early era that her consciousness was trapped at 18 months where she hadn't had a chance to process the core grief of losing her father.

So from that she went through and she did our first process, which is she reclaimed her energy from all the times where she felt like she couldn't move forward because failure was imminent.

And then she touched into the very core wound of I don't feel enough, I feel unworthy.

And she cracked that pain portal and felt the depths of what that grief was like in her body now, the grief she never felt when she was 18 months old.

She held herself consciously as her body processed that, and then from there her consciousness shifted completely.

She basically saw the whole design pattern.

She came on the call and she was like, oh my God, I don't feel like the same human because I see where this is all originated, how it, where it's come from.

And I had goosebumps because I was like, oh my God, you've cracked open the wound that's held you hostage to that timeline.

And now the consciousness is free that, yes, you're going to have moments where you're going to Experiment with that threshold and go, oh, I, I think the failure thresholds here that it's not going to ever have the same density because you're going to be like, oh, that's actually just where that wound lies.

And I can stretch my nervous system beyond that and do that thing anyway because I'm safe with that pain.

Hmm.

Thank you for sharing this.

This is a, it's, it's a slightly different language and yet I can relate to it in different ways.

We do a lot with NLP and subconscious work and you know when you real and timeline work, when you can get to the root of what that stuck emotion is and people go out, I don't know what the root is.

I'm like, that's because you're consciously trying to find it.

You can't do it that way.

It has to come the other way.

But when you can actually get to the root of it, it's, it's always, I have found personally, it's always surprising.

I'm like, really?

That's the root.

I like, why did I even.

I had a client just take me, one of my past students, take me through some timeline work today.

And so it was fascinating to experience it as a client.

And all of a sudden memories are popping up of like a house I used to live in and where I was.

I could see the walls, I could see the.

It's just you can't consciously change that.

But when you can work from the root, it can change everything in the reverse direction.

It's similar because we're unlocking and we're going like, we're going there.

We want to go to the pain, so we don't want to avoid it, numb it.

We want to actually go.

And often people are like, I don't want to go back and feel my trauma.

But you're not actually going back and feeling your trauma because you're actually just letting the body have the natural release that it's always been wanting to have.

And when you understand, I think the pain is being a sensation based experience and that you can hold yourself safely even though you feel like you're going to die.

Because this is the thing, most people, when they touch that pain point, they're like, I don't want to go there.

I feel like I'm going to die.

And that was a big teaching for me, that dying to the limited self, which is another process we do, is such an important part of our releasing ourselves.

Because the dying is the illusion.

Right?

And that's what I got shown.

It's like you're just going to another level of consciousness, but the body and the nervous system goes, no, I need to stay safe and I need to stay limited in, in the known.

So having the understanding about why we're doing that frees you because you're like, actually, I'm just dying to the limited version.

I'm not dying.

Dying and having the support to do that's really important.

Oh, that is absolutely gold what you just said.

Dying to the limited version of you.

Because it's, I, I.

One of the things I was always taught is this like whatever limitation you fight for, you get to keep.

So if I'm gonna fight for like, I, like, this is who I am and this is, this is what I feel.

And that, that's a real fear and I can't go there.

Well, the more you fight for it, the more you get to keep it.

So like it's, there are times I'm like, oh, do you want to keep that one, Marsha?

And I'm like, nope, I actually don't.

So, okay, let's change the way that we're doing it.

So like, when did the concept idea of a book start to come into place?

Oh, I think it happened from the very beginning.

I was like, there's something here.

I just, I, I was aware that there was something there.

And I think for everyone that goes through something like this, and I'm sure lots of your listeners have, as well as have yourself when you get shown something.

And for me, there's nothing else to be doing.

Like, this work is not, it's not a job, it's not something I do kind of part time.

Like my consciousness is always engaged in the understanding and the exploration.

And so just writing the book was a no brainer, even though it was a lot of work.

And actually we finished the manuscript yesterday.

Oh, did you really?

A hundred percent done.

So it's going to the printer.

Amazing.

Congratulations.

21St of January, it is complete.

Almost seven years after the experience that I had on the beach.

Wow.

But I think that's perfect timing.

So, yeah, tell us about the book, what the name is, and congratulations because honestly, I hope you took a really good moment to just pause and say, this is real, like, this is done.

Yeah, I, yeah, I have, I've been like, yep, okay, we're complete.

That cycle is, that cycle's complete.

And I'm grateful for that.

And the next level of consciousness is coming through, so I'm excited for that too.

But the book is called Unloved, Unworthy, Unknown, and These are the three portals of awakening in my mind that every human has a version of feeling unloved, unworthy, and unknown and unknown.

I define as feeling unseen, misunderstood, unheard, or unsafe.

So either one of those unknown, say.

Say the unknown again, misunderstood, unheard, or unseen, or the unknown can also be the feeling of being unsafe.

So that there's either one of those is in the design of the unknown.

Wound can come through, and then we know unloved and unworthy.

But a lot of people have the unknown wound and haven't really recognized that it's a big one.

So those three wounds, I see them as I call them wounds, but they're actually just design patterns of humanity.

We come into a default pattern of being a human, whereby we just had these separation points where we define our existence around these three pillars until we get to a point of understanding what those three pillars are and the gateways they are to return to the truth of ourselves and no humans without them.

When I understood that, I was like, wow, these patterns are very important, and they're the ones that cause us to separate from the true version of ourselves, to try to manipulate, manage, structure the reality around us, to make it feel safe, to make it feel okay.

That if I get that person to love me, if I get that validation from work, if I get the validation of being a good mom, if I get the validation that someone's finally understood me, if I can feel safe at last, if I have enough money, if I have enough, you know, support, all these things we're trying to shore up around us are just ways of repeating those patterns.

And the book goes into how we do this on the deepest, energetic levels, behavioral levels, thought patterns, emotional patterns, and actually how to go through the processes.

So I share a lot of the processes that I work with within that book.

Amazing.

And so the Consciousness Method that is.

Is that.

Call your method, but your method you have created.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Amazing.

So when does your book come out?

Next month.

Oh, it's okay.

So it's like.

It's close.

Amazing.

Yes.

Okay.

It'll be.

It'll be out.

It'll be on Amazon, and if you just search unloved, unworthy, unknown, you'll be able to find it.

Okay, Amazing.

That is going to come out before this episode does, but I will make sure I share it, and we'll make sure we have links there as well.

You also have a podcast, do you not?

Yes, it's called the Consciousness Method, and it's basically just interviewing all the people that have gone through the method.

And had life changing shifts.

So looking and just chatting about that and why that's important to me is because so many incredible humans are just opening these gates of consciousness and opening new lives.

And for me, that's the most inspiring thing.

So it's just a podcast of all the beautiful people that are doing the work, which is fascinating to hear, actually.

Lots of stories of overcoming so many things.

I was gonna ask you that if you had a story that you could share of somebody who had overcome something, just something that stands out, like one of your favorites where you're like, oh, I mean, I just.

Oh my gosh, that's the hardest question because like, daily I'm witnessing people.

I mean, the things that I find are most potent are the people that come to me and say, I can't have this relationship with my parents or my kids.

It's, they're done, it's done.

And that work where we completely reconfigure the family system from within that person is just astonishing to watch.

And what I see is the sort of the wave of this work, the person doing that work, the wave flows on through the field to so many loved ones around them.

And I've witnessed parents come back into connection, children come in, you know, ex partners that have been, you know, difficult custody cases.

Like we've avoided multi, hundreds of thousands of dollars of worth of custody battles because we've worked on the core of things.

We've reunited so many families.

It's been profound to witness.

And that's really important to me to have those foundational relationships healthy.

Not to say it's always about reuniting, but often there's a place there to close the separation.

Then I've seen so many incredible humans, like move off medications for physical ailments and depression and anxiety because they've processed the core of their pain.

They're beginning to come alive again.

People that have like, you know, autism or adhd, that are processing on deeper levels and finding new levels of expression.

Um, so people that are in those, you know, dark places of feeling really stuck and knowing that there's a path forward.

And then just people that are wanting purpose and just initiating it through the relationship to themselves and going, oh my God, my purpose is right here.

And it's always been here.

It's just I've had to form that relationship with myself to receive it.

And then of course there's a super, like the more playful stuff, like people have manifested like their dream homes, their dream partners.

I've got like a couple of weddings coming up because people have met the love of their lives, which, like, always makes me excited.

And, you know, new careers where they've made, you know, like doubled their income because they've cleared that part of them.

So I. I just would have to say that anything is possible because everything comes back to this same formula of shifting this space and shifting consciousness.

You shift the consciousness, you get a new level of reality.

It's inevitable.

So I don't feel like there's anything that's not possible to work with.

Yeah, I.

There's.

Sorry, I just had to write that down.

Because it shifts the consciousness and then you, like, achieve a new level of reality.

It's basically it's.

And it's.

Is it.

If we look at it this way, it's a reality that's been there, that's been available.

You just haven't allowed yourself access to it.

Yeah, it's a resonance.

So your inner template is creating the relationship to reality.

And I think everyone's felt that, like when you're feeling really great, you know, and you go out into the world and you have things just come up that feel really beautiful and the resonance is there that kind of on steroids, because you've shifted your whole being and you're just getting a whole new level of things coming through.

I love everything about this and I'm also.

I want to ask you this question before I go to one more question.

Is this piece that.

My understanding from what you're saying too is, is that, say, for example, I chose to do this deep work with you, that I don't have to have everyone in my life doing this deep work with me in order for all of us to experience something.

I. I just wanted to make sure that part was clear.

Yeah, of course.

So what happens is, and I'll give an example of a mum that was having a cha.

Like challenges with her daughter.

And what was happening was that her daughter was reflecting the part of herself that she actually hadn't come to terms with because of the trauma she'd experienced with her parents.

So the way she was responding to her daughter in the way she was trying to control her, and then the daughter was pushing back and then she was judging that behavior and saying, oh, that was not.

That's not good.

And all the rest of it was causing this massive fracture between her and her daughter, who she loved dearly, but she just could not relate to.

So the deeper work we did took us way back to the root of her own relationship, to the version of her that was mistreated.

And the unsafety around that and how she was then seeing her daughter as a threat to her safety because she didn't have that inner stability.

So she shifted that internally.

And just naturally she started to show up differently with her daughter because this is not about behavioral stuff.

It's not about being like, oh, I'm going to go and be a better mom, because that's all just false.

Like you can never sustain that because it's not coming from a deep core place.

It's just a facade.

And kids feel that as well.

So she began to shift internally and then she was responding to her daughter differently because she was responding from the place of safety and this kind of deep compassion for herself in a similar mirrored situation.

And that was just coming through her because the pain she'd stored from her childhood had been tapped into and released.

So her daughter showed up in a different way.

Her daughter was like, oh, I feel safer to be with you.

And so her, the version of her she was receiving was another version.

And what happens is we go into these wound bonds where we give the person we're with the version of us that's going to evolve them, usually until we see the evolution and then we move through to the next level where we don't need to keep triggering, activating each other because we've actually resolved that internally.

So that's one of the ways.

Another way is that whole family systems can heal because the person that's been creating the challenge in the system is often the sensitive one.

So when they feel safer within themselves, there's not so much conflict going on around them because they've created safety and they don't have to keep perpetuating that.

I've seen that quite a lot as well.

And whole systems move.

And then I have partners coming to do the work and parents.

I have a couple of like mother daughter combos doing the work at the moment.

And then I have a divorced couple.

They've both come to do the work independently because the ex partner has seen such a big shift in his ex wife.

And he's like, oh my God, I want in on that.

And it's better for their daughter.

Right, so exactly, exactly.

I love that.

Thank you for sharing that because I think sometimes like the whole family has to be on board for something.

And I, from what I was interpreting, what you're saying is, no, it doesn't actually have to be like that.

And I think that hopefully gives people a lot more hope of what they can do.

Okay, so a loaded question as you're talking all about consciousness and how we are, you know, leading ourselves and facing the pain and being in this space and using that as the portal.

How do we stay in tune with that and not be, not hurt?

But compared to like what's happening in the world right now, like there is just.

I'm just curious because it gets really easy to squash those parts of ourselves cuz it feels like it is actually not safe to allow ourselves to be seen.

I know that's probably one of the number one things I hear people come into my world is like I want to be seen.

But I, I don't know how to now add to that the sometimes volatility of what's happening.

How can we continue to support ourselves when this is some of the things that we're seeing in the world?

I love this question because I could not agree more in the challenge in that.

And I've worked intensively through that.

Right.

That's been a really big piece for me.

The interface between your internal expression and the pressure of the external world around you.

The pressure of all the things I.

What I would say again is what you've just referred to.

There is the unknown wounding that it doesn't feel safe to see the version of self.

And there will be some deeper fractal which is a deeper reflection that's going on within the being.

And it's actually creating an addiction to keep seeing where there's threat outside of you.

So you keep cherry picking from reality the places where you don't feel safe.

And in all honesty, for me personally, I'm highly sensitive, highly aware of other people's pain, highly aware of things going on in the world that feel really unjust and, and not okay for me.

What I had to do was work deeply within where I would hook into those things to give myself an addictive emotional response that actually just kept me looping in a nervous system state that was not healthy for me.

So I had to reclaim my energy from those things and begin to bring my attention into my inner world and into the concept that I get to change the world via the imprint that I make directly around me.

And that is the only imprint I can make.

Because if I begin to look that I don't like that thing and I am powerless within that, that is part of the external construct that is here to make us feel less than sovereign, powerful and free.

It's here to make us feel trapped, limited and like a slave basically to the density of the world.

And I don't want that for anyone.

Because if we have that as our ongoing way of being, we are actually energetically feeding into those programs and patterns instead of feeding into the truth of ourselves.

And the imprint we can make from being a connected human that has this imprint around us, that is creating this ripple effect around us.

Thank you.

That's beautiful.

I know at this point in time, and I realize this episode will air later.

I am so fascinated with the Monks that are walking across the States in this in a solidarity for peace.

And it's not just about the Monks.

It's the like thousands of people that are walking with like, that are with them.

And to me, it's like, that gives me such a feeling of, like, lots of people want this.

Like, there might be your outliers that like thrive in chaos, but there are a lot of people that really do want peace.

I do believe that.

And that's.

I know I've been criticized at times for being like, that's just whatever that's like, it makes me happy.

I believe that our algorithm, it's a reflection of us.

And somebody said that, like, what do you do when all of the negativity shows up in the algorithm?

It doesn't because it's full of puppies and monks walking and things that make me feel good.

Because that's what.

That's.

I know that changes my energy, which then changes how I project back out into the world.

I love that.

And we're sovereign, right?

Like, we don't have to.

We have this kind of thing of we need to be involved in all the things.

But what I do with the people I work with, I get them to come back to the truth of their experience, which is happening in real time right now.

So it's like, where are you actually living?

What are your family relationships?

Like, what is the quality of the environment around you?

Like, where are you showing up in your day to day life?

Like, how are you with the lady at the checkout?

Like, where are you actually in your energetic center?

Because we're in a digital world, it's so easy to get drawn into things that aren't actually our business on a deeper level.

And when you know, some people will go, oh, we need to be aware of all these things so we can all the rest of it.

But energetically, what I've seen, unless you are directly involved in something that you can have a sovereign voice in and make an impact in, you're in a victim state to that experience happening out there and stealing your energetic awareness and you not being able to do anything to change that.

And that creates a version of powerlessness and a nervous system response that brings you into fear.

And it's just not healthy for anybody to go through that on a daily basis.

Thank you for going there and thank you for saying that.

I needed that message just like everyone else.

So I know how brings us back to our own power, our own voice, and, yeah, that's where we can all continue to make a difference and make a change.

Yeah, definitely.

We're all radiating the reality we want to experience.

And I went through that in real time during.

And just a little side story during the global lockdown, because I made a choice whereby I was not allowed to go into any shops or any public places during that period.

And what the pressure that put on myself was that I was kind of coerced into this space of feeling trapped.

What I did was that I liberated my own energy and life force within me and created my own sense of freedom within my own being, which meant it didn't matter the attachment of the outside world.

It mattered how liberated I felt within me.

And what happened was a timeline that came through where I was liberated and I was free and I was fine.

But I had to do the inside work to overcome the fear of being suppressed.

And that's just a small example, but we can apply that to any part of our lives where we feel like there's something outside of us that's stopping us from being where we want to go.

You have to free yourself internally first.

Oh, Elura, you have no idea what you just hit on.

And that is a really.

That was.

We had similar experiences during the lockdown.

We are in Canada here.

We just had a very similar experience.

And there became real dividing lines in not just friends, but, like, we lost friends we had.

And.

And it wasn't out of, like, trying to make someone else see something else.

It was just people who didn't agree with me.

And.

And it was really had to get quiet.

That included family.

And I know firsthand that some of those relationships have never been repaired.

And.

And.

And actually, that's okay because it's not her hard feelings.

It's just that basically that time really did require a lot of grounding and clarity on who I had in my corner at that time.

So I just.

I. I know you hit on something.

That was really powerful time.

Yeah, no, it's.

It was a huge time.

And there was definitely, you know, an opportunity for everyone in that time to really anchor the timeline they wanted to experience.

And it was a challenging time.

And there's also a lot of, you know, stored Pain in that time that probably needs to be, you know, still processed to release that timeline from being something that sticks and creates a loop around it, you know, around us.

So it was a.

One of the most radical evolutionary timelines that we could have stepped through.

So it was a gift, but also, yeah, a massive challenge at the same time.

Beautiful.

Thank you so much for sharing that.

I have loved all of our conversation.

I want to make sure people know where to connect with you.

Um, we will update, make sure the links in the show notes have your book when it comes out.

Anything you can share where people can find you and learn more about you.

Yeah, Allura Halliwell is the place on.

Just online and on Instagram.

And the Consciousness Method podcast is a good place to explore more.

And, you know, there is space for anyone that wants to do this work.

It's.

It's definitely something that you're.

You're all welcome to explore and experience.

And it's something that I'm deeply passionate about bringing to so many.

So, yeah, I'm here and please just feel free to reach out.

Beautiful.

Thank you for everything that you've shared, for your energy, and you have the most beautiful, calming voice that I know is just something that it's.

It's powerful.

You.

Your work, you can.

You exude it.

You definitely exude it.

So thank you, thank you, thank you for being here.

Oh, thank you, Marcia.

Actually, I've got free meditations on SoundCloud, so if anyone wants to listen to a little bit more of the Voice, it's at Allura on SoundCloud, just to start meditating.

Thank you so much, Asha.

This experience has been really special for me.

And to be able to explore these spaces means everything.

And your questions have been so profound.

So thank you.

You're so welcome.

You're so welcome.

May I ask you one more quick question?

It is.

What lesson in life are you most grateful for?

Wow.

That we are actually divine beings.

Having a human experience and being able to learn that that's the truth of us.

And being able to keep dancing in that space as being the greatest gift.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

It was great to have you here.

Thank you.

Masha.

Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Own youn Choices, Own youn Life.

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And I will be forever grateful until next time.

Remember.

When you own your choices, you truly own your life.