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Welcome to Parents Night out with no new friends.

The comedy break every parent deserves.

This is the podcast where parenting meets pure unfiltered fun.

Real raw hilarity.

It's your night out without the kids, where nothing is off limits.

And we say what everybody else is thinking.

Whether you're a parent or just need a good laugh.

We've got the adult humor you crave.

So kick back, relax and get ready to let loose with us.

This is Parents night Out with no new friends.

Tuck your kids into bed.

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We are broadcasting live on YouTube every Monday night, 8:00pm ish Eastern Standard Time.

And then some days we go to the Orlando theme park.

And we are live on the Tik Tok at the parks with new friends.

My name is Scott.

I am the host.

With me as always, the scumbag reselling hoarder himself, Chris.

Stop yelling at me.

The Jewish American princess, Sarah.

Hello.

Our emotional sport, gay Nick.

It's a me.

I'm here.

The Wiseman Darren.com.

Go Birds.

And our producer, Alex.

I'm not even supposed to be here today, so.

Guys, I hate Amazon.

The rainforest, the cafe, the people.

Sarah, go ahead.

Who could hate Amazon?

I do.

For several reasons.

For several reasons?

One, the infestation of cardboard boxes in both my house and my garage.

Right before we came on the podcast, I was actually painting an Amazon box with a child because she wants to turn it into a cat house.

Oh, a trap house.

She's upcycling.

Well, she's growing up.

I don't know what's going on.

Phases.

I'm just kidding.

Oh my God, Alex.

You know, my daughter made little.

She.

She made things with cardboard boxes too.

Like little grocery store or whatever.

I don't know.

They.

Kids do the darndest things with those things.

But these boxes also lead to infestation of cockroaches in the garage.

Oh yeah, because The.

Well, the cockroaches love the tape.

And the problem is Sarah's giving me this weird look.

The glue.

The card.

The glue that's on the cardboard.

No, you said cockroach.

And Sarah's used to be calling that.

Being called that walking down the street, unfortunately.

What?

It's a derogatory term for Jewish people, I think.

Is it?

I don't know.

Borat said it was.

Very nice.

You know, I quote Borat a lot, but that's not something I remember.

The cockroaches come into his room and he just starts throwing coins at them.

You remember that?

Yes.

Oh, you know what?

Now I do.

I watched too many World War II documentaries.

I'm thinking about all the cardboard boxes I still have in my garage right now from when we moved.

Roaches, right?

Cockroaches everywhere.

But don't you have, like, a vendor that comes in to kill bugs?

That's.

Well, he.

Not.

He doesn't just have a vendor that kills bugs.

He'll have a.

He'll have a vendor that'll come and take the cardboard boxes because he's too lazy to just throw them out.

That is true.

Well, it's not that I'm too.

I think you need a new vendor.

That's what it sounds like.

Well, I have to call them, and I wait until it gets to a certain level.

The problem is, Nick, like, if it was, like, one or two boxes, I'll just throw them in my recycle bin outside.

But the problem is, like, these things multiply, and before I know it, my wife has stacked about 50 boxes, and now it's like I've lost control.

And now I have to hire someone because it would take me about three months to shove all the boxes into the trash can or the recycle bin.

But this is not why I hate Amazon.

It's not just the boxes.

So last year, for Christmas, and you all know, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, I'm a terrible gift giver.

Okay.

My wife one year got me this really nice golf bag, and I got her a T shirt that says, who needs Google?

My husband knows everything.

So pretty bad gift.

Or a keychain.

Like, she got a keychain, you know?

So last year, I was super excited.

My.

My wife is, like, super bougie.

Loves charcuterie boards.

Loves, like, you know, she's.

She's.

She's known in my family for her legendary stack snacks.

You know, Chris, I don't.

I don't know if.

When you.

What?

I Was going because Sarah's cat was behind her.

Oh, that's a kitten.

I know.

That's why.

It's the famous kitten from last week.

So I.

I don't know.

Chris, when you were here, did my wife bust out the snacks?

Because she's, like, known for this.

Oh, yeah.

When I got there, she was, like, slicing something up for sure.

Yeah, yeah.

So last year, I get her a charcuterie board.

Now Amazon screwed up and sent four, which is fine because now I have four.

Charcuterie board.

Sarah, would you like charcuterie board?

What?

You didn't tell them that they accidentally sent more?

I kept them.

Wow.

Scumbag.

Well, Jews aren't allowed to mix meat and cheese, okay?

Oh, okay.

So.

But here's the problem.

They, you know, it gets delivered to our door, and it's in a box that says charcuterie board.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're the delivery people that you see on going viral for, like, ring the doorbell and.

And saying, like, making up an elaborate lie and hiding it in the trash can or something.

Where are those people?

Isn't there, like a little button at the bottom when you make your purchase that says, send an original packaging or send in an Amazon box?

That's what I told.

It says, like, is this.

Is this item a gift?

And you can click it and it'll put it in an Amazon package and not have to be a big deal.

Well, I don't even care if it's a gift.

I just don't want people to know what I'm getting, and then they feel obligated to steal.

Well, it's nice to get the gift receipt or the, like, little gift mom on there and you can write yourself the note so you feel like it was a gift.

So it's free then?

Yeah.

Did you not do that?

No.

I didn't know that there was a checkbox that.

First of all, I'm not the Amazon guy, okay?

My wife is the Amazon girl.

I like.

Anytime I go to purchase something on Amazon, my wife's always like, did you check the reviews?

I'm like, they have reviews.

Where are the reviews?

Like, I don't.

I don't deep dive into Amazon.

I see what it's.

It's just like shopping.

Like, if I go shopping, I know what I want, I go, I get it, and then I leave.

I like, I'm not.

I'm not.

Yes.

Sarah, I don't think that it's a hatred of Amazon.

I think it's your lack of understanding of how Amazon works.

Listen, I Didn't expect anybody to be turning this on me tonight, but here we are.

Sorry.

It's fine.

That's fine.

So this year I'm super excited because my.

My wife has been wanting a record player for quite, quite some time and she would never, like, pull the trigger on it.

So I find Cyber Monday.

I find it because, you know, it's in the algorithm.

We share an amp, so she.

She looks for it and then, like, eyes.

It puts in the.

So it pops up and, you know, this is pretty sweet.

It's.

It's a record player.

It's.

It's a tape deck, CD player, AM FM stereo, Blu Ray player, blue.

Blue Bluetooth.

It's.

It's amazing.

It's all.

It's an eight in one record player.

So I buy it.

I'm so excited.

So I get home from work the other day.

Inside there's a stack of Amazon boxes, and on the bottom there's a picture of the record player on the box.

So they ruined Christmas for you twice.

Two years in a row, Nick.

Amazon has ruined.

Like, I finally got decent at gift giving and Amazon has ruined Christmas two years in a row.

Awful.

Maybe you should start getting your own mail.

Some of us have to work Monday through Friday, Nick.

We're not just sitting at home.

Yeah, your wife does.

You don't do anything.

No, I.

Wait a minute.

You don't work Monday through Friday.

That's true.

I don't work Monday through Friday.

Someone has to work Saturday, Nick.

So anyway, Christmas is ruined again.

But now I know, okay?

Now I know that there's a little checkbox that I.

That I.

I need to click and then it won't come like that.

Yeah, Scott was never good at making boxes.

Doing anything with boxes, and then eventually making things come.

Right.

That was a very elaborate bad joke.

But I knew where you were going the whole time.

Now, something else that ruined Christmas.

Nick, you obviously have not been listening to this podcast much before you came on.

The host at the time that I just turned it out.

I know you can say his name, Chris.

I know that we have discussed Elf on the Shelf and what a terrible idea Elf on the Shelf is and the chaos that comes along with it.

Because, like, you see the pictures on Facebook and everybody's having fun having the elf do, like cute, funny things when.

Whatever.

But you don't realize that you have to make sure it gets moved every single night.

And then you're waking up at 3am forgetting that you didn't move it, and then you're running down the Stairs.

And you're tripping over the cat.

You move the elf on the shelf.

Well, Santa, magic.

Magic moves it.

But Nick, Piper got an elf on the shelf, didn't she?

Yeah, we.

So she's seven now.

And we were like, we got this.

We can dodge it.

We don't need the elf.

We don't push like, Santa's watching you.

You're not going to get presents or anything like that.

Like, we try not to do that.

It's like, that's the whole point of Santa, Nick.

You get one month of good behavior out of the year.

I don't want to use a creepy man as a scare tactic because clearly that's not working out for the president.

But which one?

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, we never wanted to use any sort of scare tactic.

We didn't.

I didn't like the idea of it because it's like, oh, it reports back every night.

I'm like, santa's already watching anyway, but.

Now he's got extra eyes.

He doesn't need extra eyes.

He's Santa.

That's true, but.

And he's only in my house once a year.

I don't know how he's watching.

This is, this is 2024.

Santa has outsourced the watching to a small indentured servant.

He got lazy is what happened.

Right.

Yeah.

So we, we tried to dodge it the whole time.

We never really brought it up.

Never asked her or anything.

And of course, in first grade, our teacher decides they're going to do an elf on a shelf in their classroom.

Oh, what a terrorist.

Yeah.

So I.

I love our school district.

Hold on, hold on.

I feel like that needs a permission slip more than.

Hey, we're about to teach your kids about sex.

Yeah, like, if you're gonna introduce the elf on the shelf and for like at school, there needs to be a permission slip.

Do they have the match on the bench too?

Oh, mention on the bench.

What?

I don't know what that is.

Wait, you don't know about mention?

You don't know what the.

Mention on the.

Wait, what?

Yes, I, my.

I got my brother in law one year for Hanukkah.

A mensch on the bench.

And it comes with a little story.

It was a Shark Tank thing.

Was it really Shark Tank?

Yeah.

Little old Jewish guy with the, with the curls.

Well, I now have an Elphaba on a shalfaba.

Yes, I love that.

Chris and Sarah.

That is a reference to Wicked.

Wicked is a Broadway show.

Amazing.

Just converted to a movie.

Yeah, never heard of it.

That's already Nominated for Golden.

Golden Globes.

We were nominated for best podcast in Orlando.

And Lost.

And Lost.

Stop it.

So, yeah, we.

We tried to dodge it.

The teacher sent home a mess or sent a message through, like, our school chat thing, and she's like, we have an elf in our classroom.

The kids named it.

So she keeps sending us pictures every now and then.

And, like, one of the pictures, I'm like, what is this?

I'm sorry about this.

I'm so angry at this because she started this.

She used that as a scare tactic.

So what happened to Flat Stanley?

That was fun.

That was fun that you don't really have to do except for mail it out to a family member.

That's it.

This one?

Yeah, it's.

It's complicated anymore.

It's 2024.

They got a note the one day that said they were not behaving the day before.

So they're.

They're all.

Is very.

He's like, you're on the naughty list.

But what I.

What I love about our school district and why I.

I guess doesn't piss me off that they're doing off on a Shelf is because they're actually teaching the kids every single day about different holiday cultures and traditions.

So we keep getting pictures and coloring books and stuff of St.

Nicholas, and they.

Do you want Sarah to do a zoom call to teach about Hanukkah?

We should.

We should.

She doesn't know.

Yeah.

You still got time.

You guys are late this year, so.

Yeah.

So they sent home papers about Mexican tradition and stuff, too.

So it's just teaching the differences.

The kids to learn about acceptance, essentially.

Oh, okay.

Which is an amazing time to learn about acceptance because most of the country doesn't accept us.

Right?

So, yeah, it's been really cool.

And she has been mentioning this elf and the fact that she has a stuffed animal elf in our house.

So she has a stuffed animal elf.

She brought it out to us the next day on a spatula, thinking that this elf might come to life.

No, you can't.

She can't touch the elf.

No, she.

She held it on a spatula.

Okay.

This was the first.

She found the loophole.

This is her stuffed animal elf.

Not the.

Oh, it's not the elf on the shelf.

Okay.

We ended.

We ended up buying one.

We got a little.

We had a gummy that night, and I'm sitting there talking to Sean.

I was like, you see the elf over there?

I was like, I feel like it's a sign that she's telling us that she wants a magical Elf.

So we got this bright idea to order on target to.

We didn't do Amazon.

We did Target this time.

Good.

It would have said on the box, elf on the shelf.

And then she would know I didn't have delivered via FedEx.

Yeah.

So he ordered it and wrote a note to her saying that an elf was coming the next day.

Well, Chris.

Chris was already here.

I was talking.

What do you mean the next day?

Chris is already here?

He already came.

But the toy elf on the shelf arrived and helped me.

Actually, never mind.

I gave him a couple hands and now we have an elf on a shelf.

Well, it's actually on our dining room table.

Do you put it on?

Are you supposed to put it on the shelf?

That's the thing.

I don't know all the rules.

It moves every night.

It moves every night to a different location.

Like sometimes.

Sometimes our elf is like.

Like on one of the nutcrackers or on a.

The Christmas tree or like on a pic, like, wherever you can hide him.

Chris was on a nutcracker too, but.

And then like, the kids get into it.

Like, they wake up like, oh, where did they elf move?

Yeah, we.

We've been moving out the past few nights.

We have a Etsy kit that we purchased that helps us print out things so we don't have to worry about it.

Oh, my God, it's super.

You are super gay.

Oh, it had a pizza this morning and it had a cute little pizza box on it.

It was eaten with Mickey Mouse on a plate.

It was delicious.

So here's my advice to you, Nick.

Okay.

Make sure you remember where you store it for the next 11 months.

Yeah.

Because my wife has had to purchase several new elves on the shelf because it's been misplaced.

And then make sure you make sure you move that thing.

Like, I would set an alarm for like 9:00 every night.

Like, move the elf.

That's why I'm telling all of my friends, because I need somebody to remind me because 99% of the time I'm probably stoned and I need, like, constant reminders.

Like, you could tell me now, like, hey, move it.

And I'll be like, yeah, I'm going to get right on it.

And then sidetrack.

I forget about it till three hours later.

So it's the elf on the shelf and Nick is a stoner with a boner.

Oh, I like that.

Meant to say stoner on a boner, but, you know, whatever.

Oh, that would have been so much funnier.

Yeah, Alex, cut and edit that yeah.

So we have Elf on the Shelf.

Nick's a stoner on a boner.

Thanks.

Oh, that was.

That was funny.

Thank you.

Appreciate it.

Listen, we were lucky because we only have to do it half the time.

Oh, yeah.

You only have to two days a week.

You have to worry about it.

That's it.

Yeah.

No, three days.

Okay.

Shows up Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, every other weekend.

But do they.

But do they ask, like.

Well, it does while they're gone?

No, because that's the thing that's saying we're trying to figure out.

She.

She went out of town yesterday, Saturday night with my parents, and they stayed in a hotel and I'm like, I'm not sending the elf with them.

So we kept it home.

And what does she do first thing in the morning on Sunday?

She FaceTimes us at 9 o'clock in the morning.

What did Snowflake do today?

She's obsessed with it.

Did you say I voted for Joe Biden.

One year?

I did Polaroids, though.

That's cute.

Was that just for Lewis?

Those were in a separate pile.

Those are in a completely separate pile.

Those aren't hd.

You got that right.

Well, what.

What a scam that Elf on the Shelf is.

It's.

It is, but it's.

I'm loving the fun little memories that we're making with it now.

So, Chris, look forward to that.

Well, I don't.

I just don't appreciate the fact that the word scam was used because I'm very fragile right now over.

Over scams.

Because I.

I got scammed this week, but I didn't get scammed this week.

Okay, explain the strangest experience in my life.

So I am very involved in the Star wars card community.

I am on Discord, I'm on a Facebook page, and everyone's very trustworthy.

So on whatnot.

Go follow me at Chris Yob.

Soon to be at Yabba the Hut.

On whatnot.

Everyone's very trustworthy and very nice in the community.

People have been helping me out with my streams and stuff like that.

Well, there's a channel on Discord to say what you're in search of.

So someone was in search of a specific character.

It's Magistrate Morgan Elsbeth.

The lady who fought the Mandalorian with that big spear.

Right.

Yeah, well, looking for cards of her.

And I just so happen to have one of her cards out of numbered to five.

So we.

Five on those Earth autographed by her.

Well, which sounds amazing, but when.

When you, you know, see that, it's Magistrate Morgan Ellsbeth.

It's not the greatest card in the world, right?

So I couldn't sell it.

So this guy was looking for him.

So, like, hey, I have one for sale or trade.

He goes, I have this.

And sent me a picture of an autographed Boba Fett card.

I was like, yeah, I'd love that.

I'd love to trade this random woman's autograph for a Tamora Morrison Boba Fett card.

I'd love that.

He goes, yeah, I didn't look up comps on it or anything.

I don't really go based off of comps.

So.

Which comps meaning, like, what the card sells for.

So, you know.

But, you know, I really like the card you have.

Like, yeah, it's great.

He goes, I own a shipping company, so I have this out asap.

And then two minutes later, he goes, all right.

The mailman just picked it up.

Which I thought was kind of weird at first.

Right.

Okay.

First red flag.

Yeah.

So post officer.

So I.

So I was expecting.

Yeah.

And he didn't say male person.

He said male man.

So I was kind of disappointed by that as well.

But anyway.

Exactly.

So I.

I shipped my card out that.

That same day to him.

We exchanged track numbers, and that was it.

A couple days goes by, and he said, yeah, it should be there in a couple days.

And a couple days go by.

It wasn't here yet.

So I checked the tracking number, and it said, label created.

That's it.

Not scanned and not moving through anything.

Just label created.

So I.

My stomach drops.

I'm like.

I.

I am, like, sick to my stomach.

I'm looking at this picture.

I'm like, this picture could be Photoshopped of this Boba Fett card.

This might not even be his.

So I go to message him on Instagram.

All right.

The Instagram that he had all of his Star wars cards posted on.

Very nicely done.

Now has no profile picture, and all the posts are deleted.

Oh, my God.

I go over to Discord onto the thread that he made looking for these cards, and the thread is deleted.

Yeah.

So I'm like, this guy.

I can't believe this.

First of all, I can't believe this guy scammed me for a magistrate.

Morgan Ellsbeth autograph.

Like, that's the most random scam.

He wanted your address.

So he probably has it with all these drones flying over New Jersey.

I don't know if you've seen that on the news, but anyway, we'll talk about that later.

So I'm.

I'm livid.

I start texting the moderator of the Discord Channel, like, look, I just got scammed on this discord.

I'm sending the screenshots and I'm.

I'm on the phone with USPS on hold.

I'm trying to intercept my package to get going down to him that said they weren't picking up.

So can you do that?

Can you be like an Indian giver and say, hey, no, actually send it back?

I tried on the website.

It said you can't because first of all, it's a Native American giver.

Yeah, I tried it on the website.

That's why I called, because I.

Could I please talk to your manager?

But no one answered because it was five o'clock at night.

So I'm on my way to the post office.

That post office closes in a half hour.

I'm about to go there and explain what happened, say, hey, can you intercept this package?

And.

And I'm like, let me try calling this guy on his Instagram that's like, looks inactive now.

So I called him on Instagram, which I've never done before, and he answers, yeah.

He goes, hey, man, what's going on?

I was like, you tell me.

What do you mean?

I was like, what is going on?

I was like, I just checked by the tracking you gave me and it says the label was created, nothing else.

He goes, oh, no, man, the postman scanned it.

That's how he talks.

Postman scanned it.

Oh, maybe he didn't scan it.

I was like, no, he didn't scan it.

There's no, there's no update.

I was like, what happened to your Instagram?

It's.

Oh, man.

You know, I wasn't getting a lot of engagement on there, so I just deleted it.

You know, it's so annoying.

I.

I make.

I put all this time into the engagements and I don't.

I don't make any sales as I.

As I.

So that's why you deleted.

He's like, yeah.

He goes, you can follow me over on my other Instagrams.

I was like, okay.

I said, so what happened to the package?

Oh, man, I'm sure you'll get it.

Because I totally understand where you're coming from, though.

Totally understand.

He says, you could follow me on my other Instagrams.

It's Bubba underscore job 22.

And then I was like, then you deleted the thread on the Discord.

He's like, yeah, I was done with it.

What?

This doesn't scream scam at all.

Yeah, so what?

So what am I.

To, like, what am I supposed to do at this point?

I'm like, I just have to trust this guy that nothing's adding up.

I just trust him.

He's Scottish.

It's fine.

He.

I have no idea.

This accent was the strangest thing in the world.

I can't wait for him to stream on whatnot.

So I can send you the link just so you can hear him talk.

Let's go.

Selling your card?

Yeah.

So I.

I get home and I sent him the screenshot.

I was like, hey, man, you know, it's.

Because it'll probably come tomorrow.

So tomorrow comes, and I'm like, hey, man, it's.

I still hasn't moved.

And then he sends me a screenshot, and it's like, I.

I see all the activity, like, from his house and going through, like, my neighborhood.

Like, it says, out for delivery.

He's going through neighborhood.

I wish.

So I.

I like all the screenshots that he sent me.

And then I was like.

And then he goes, oh, my gosh, I sent you the wrong tracking number.

So this whole, like, this whole time, everything he did was the most suspicious thing ever.

But he was telling the truth the whole time.

Like, the whole time he was like.

He's like.

So he said he owned this shipping company.

About the next day, the.

He texted me the day that.

That I got my cars.

Oh, yeah, I can't wait to find mine.

He goes, you know, I got all these shipments.

Like, yeah, okay.

He sends me a picture.

Thousands of packages in his house all addressed to him.

Thousands.

He actually runs a shipping company, Right?

So he actually runs a shipping company.

He accidentally sent me the wrong tracking information.

Once he sent me the right one, everything added up.

He deleted his Instagram, honestly, because.

Because he wasn't getting a lot of engagement and honestly deleted the Discord thread because he was just done.

Every.

Every legit.

Everything that he says that couldn' be more suspicious was all true.

Listen, if I make a deal with somebody on something and I delete my Instagram that I'm communicating with, I probably gonna reach out.

That looks shady.

He's like, man, I posted on my stories.

Like, I don't look at your stories.

I don't know you.

Like, I'm not looking for that kind of stuff.

Every single thing that he said was 100.

Now we have a great relationship.

He text me again today.

He messed me.

He goes, hey, what else do you have?

I'd love to make another trade.

I think I would love to as well.

This is such a pleasantly weird Experience.

Ye.

Yeah.

So I.

I got scammed without getting scammed, right?

It was.

It was the most bizarre experience I've ever had in my life.

See, you should believe all the people that you meet.

I should believe everything.

And, like, everything he said was so suspect.

I've told us.

He go and like, I'm on the phone with him and he's like saying like, yo, Yeah, I never.

I don't even look at tracking because I just trust everybody so much.

I'm like, this guy's really feeding me all this because he's scamming me.

And I'm thinking, like, he accidentally picked up this Instagram call and now he's trying to, like, make up all this so that I don't call the cops or something.

And then like an hour later, he called me back just to chat.

It was.

It was like.

It was the strangest.

Wait, did you answer him?

Yes.

Like, I answered.

I said, hey, man, what's up?

Any updated?

He's like, oh, no, I just wanted to.

I.

You know, I was just thinking about.

I just feel really bad about it all as well.

As long as I get the card, everything's fine.

So, yeah, I'm sure you'll get it.

Like, he just kept saying it like, so God is like, I'm sure it'll come.

So.

So for future Chris, your best friend is Google reverse image search.

Oh, I do that with every single thing, like, ever.

When I go shopping out at vintage short, like shops or whatever, I'll Google reverse image and item and see what the comps are online right off the bat.

But people who scam by selling the way that we sell things online, right, they'll take pictures from other people's ads and use it.

And so if you do, if you take a screenshot of that item that they're sending you and you do a Google Reverse image search from your camera roll or whatever, then it'll pop up with whatever pictures or things.

You'll see one right there on E.

Never even thought of that.

I was just so excited.

I was just so excited someone was going to trade me a Boba Fett autograph for this random woman's autograph.

And then the best part about this, when I said this picture kind of could looks f I was messaging about, I was like, how do you do this?

Oh, it's all Photoshop.

It was.

The picture was even fake because the cards are everything else about this picture, all the case it's in and the everything's fake.

I even enhanced the card.

I am Part of loungefly pages.

Vintage stores online, on Facebook, all over.

So many pages.

And loungefly specifically, the admins, the moderators, they want you to post a picture.

Like if somebody says they need a.

A card.

Like a name and date card.

Yeah.

Oh, point pictures.

Yeah.

But then they will tell you.

Okay, can you send me a picture of a spoon in the pocket?

Super random.

Something super random.

So it's like you can't Photoshop easily a spoon in the pocket of a lounge fly backpack.

But it's easier to Photoshop somebody's name and date card.

Yeah.

To a different, you know, image.

I'm gonna do that.

I love this Boba Fett card, but could you put like, a bowl of cereal right next to his face, please?

It's crazy what people ask for, but that's cool.

You have it.

Yeah, I had.

I.

I couldn't believe when it popped up.

And then like, he's like, we are like, now.

My wife said, too weird out.

Like, he's like, messaging me on a daily basis just to check in.

Now he's just.

He's like.

He's legit the nicest guy.

And you answer the phone, and I answer the phone.

Learning opportunity for me.

Chris, would you like.

Would you like to trade some cards?

First you had my interest, but now you have my curiosity, Mr.

Scott.

Well, you know what else is a scam?

Our thumbnail for tonight's episode.

Yeah, it is.

I put.

I put in the description of the episode too.

This thumbnail has nothing to do with the content of this podcast and is being used for clickbait.

That was my question.

Did you do that or did YouTube AI do that?

I know, I.

I did that before they were able to.

I had to.

I had to get ahead of.

Of them.

I had to get ahead of him.

Gotcha.

So this.

So it.

In current events, the CEO of United Healthcare was gunned down by this Luigi guy.

Assassinated.

But what I find interesting.

Did you watch the video?

All you heard is bang, Woohoo.

They filming a Michael Jackson video.

Oh.

And then when he starts falling, all you hear is bizarre.

Oh, boy.

I thought it was edited.

Crazy.

It is terribly sad.

Like, it is horrible that we have hitmen in America just gutting people down.

It's awful.

But some good has come out of this.

Okay.

There's a silver lining to anything, to everything.

Darren informed me today that other CEOs are so afraid of being assassinated that they're doing crazy things.

Like, the McRib came back three months early.

The snack wrap is coming back.

Snack Wrap is coming back.

Yeah, I didn't hear this.

Hopefully, you know, Premier Lightning Lane will go away.

Let's get out.

Let's get that out there in the universe.

I want Goodwill's prices to go down.

You want Goodwill's prices?

Aren't they serious?

Do you know that at one point Goodwill CEO was one of the highest paid in the nation?

Oh, my God.

I kid you not.

So maybe the prices will go down.

Okay, continue hoarding.

Meanwhile, Chipotle announced today they were like, oh, yeah, we're going to raise our.

Like, we're going to have to raise our prices due to inflation.

And like, in a bunch of like, comments on videos, everybody's like, who's the CEO?

Who's the CEO?

Started to call for his head.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

What other things could CEOs do for us right now?

Oh.

Oh.

So Sarah says Goodwill drop prices.

Yeah.

Get the fast, fastest bag.

Oh, I like Genie Plus.

I like the original Genie plus program where everybody's on an even playing field at 7:00am yeah, either that.

I prefer free.

Actually, I prefer free.

Then everybody can get it.

I like my little ticket stubs from the little machine.

Like the old.

That's what I'm thinking.

The old school fashion.

It was free.

Like, so I can just dash around the park and grab as many fast passes.

No, I like waking up at 7am and planning out my day.

It works like a charm.

Yeah, you can do that too.

When with a paper fast passing, you can plan out running around the park, grabbing all the fast passes and then doing all the rides.

You get more stuff that's good for you.

Yeah, maybe, maybe you won't die next year.

Wow.

Maybe you'll.

Maybe, maybe you'll live.

No, he'll pass by more beer carts.

Yes, that's true.

You'll have more opportunity for beer.

Speaking of which, so Darren and I did go to Universal today and, you know, we wanted to see the new Wicked shop, which was amazing, but said.

It was wicked, but that was.

It was wicked.

But out front there there was a beer cart that I would always go to and now it's all like Wicked themed stuff.

They've got osvotado.

Wait.

Oz, Ozvocado toast and like pink goes with green waffle and this like green elixir with the sparkly stuff in it.

And also a pink one, like all this really cute stuff.

Well, I noticed they have Bud Light and they've never had Bud Light at that cart.

They used to be a gay stand.

Huh?

It's a very gay stand.

Chris.

So I'm like, great, let me get this Bud Light.

Thank you.

Wicked.

So I stand there.

They make every food item to order, and of course there's like a.

A family of 20 right in front of us.

It was like I could have gone to four other Bud Light carts in the meantime and still been waiting in line at this one cart.

We were there.

Probably there, what, 20 minutes?

20 minutes.

We spent the first 20 minutes of us in the park waiting to get you a Bud Light.

We're not allowed to do that at the park.

Staring.

Oh, I wasn't streaming.

It's fine.

We can waste time when we're not streaming.

Noted.

Yeah, I got a Shrek pretzel today.

It was great.

That Shrek.

Shrek.

The Shrekl with green cheese.

Oh, you should see a doctor.

But yeah, that was fun.

Anyway, let's check in with what's his name?

Giles Garman.

Yes, Giles Jarman.

Giles Jarman.

Let's check in with Giles Jarman, see what's up.

And now it's time for the more you know.

And here's your host, Giles.

Hello there, Giles Garman, letting you know that on the next episode of into the Disneyverse, you can start to hear some Christmas histories.

As the into the Disneyverse crew enters into the holiday season, they'll be discussing the history of the classic Tim Allen Christmas movie, the Santa Claus.

Interestingly enough.

Hello there.

This is the sophisticated gentleman with a special return edition of Travels and Tribulations brought to you by Spotify, which generously provided the information of the Spotify wraps that we'll be mentioning today.

For example, the Spotify wrapped of Nick includes the songs Vacation from the Go Gos and Holiday from Madonna.

Spotify Wrapped includes the top songs for Sarah such as Smoke on the Water and Smokey edits the entire soundtrack there.

Not too sure why Scott's Spotify wrapped basically just included the soundtrack from the episode of into the Disneyverse from a couple of weeks ago.

Not really sure what that was about.

Chris.

I don't know.

The only thing I've seen for Chris is a podcast about Hitler.

Kind of weird.

Now for Ryan from Jersey man.

Florida man, really just seeing soundtrack for cars and cars 2 and cars 3.

I don't know if he's in love with Cars or something.

I don't really know.

Now kind of in that same vein, Remy from Remy's roundtable has top songs such as the Oompa Loompa song, the Munchkinland song, hi Ho, and even the soundtrack for such items as Infinity War, Elf and Game of Thrones.

Not really sure what actor those have in common, but I don't really know what any of that means or tells us.

Still trying to figure out why somebody as short as Chris is trying to be pulled into Remy's roundtable, though.

And as a reminder, you can check out new episodes of into the Disneyverse every Monday on all podcasting platforms.

That's Disneyverse.

Diz N, E Y V E R S E.

And that's all from me.

Giles Garman.

So I need to address the Hitler in the room.

I.

I go to sleep listening to Remy's Roundtable almost every night on Spotify.

I use Spotify just for Remy's round table and I just like listening to conversation when I go to bed.

So I don't know why this is why.

He thinks he's got a huge audience.

By the way, when I.

I am I l every night.

So anyway, so I put on a 30 minute timer.

Sometimes I forget and for some reason I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes when I forget the timer and a Hitler podcast is playing like the rise and fall of Hitler.

And a college football hosted by Donald J.

Trump.

So it's the J6 choir as the.

The creators of it.

So I.

So if on my Spotify rap, number one is R, number two is some college football.

I've never, I have not watched a full college football game.

I don't think ever College football podcast number two, number three, the Rise and Fall of Hitler.

And then number four is some World War II thing that I only.

That I only listen to when I'm sleeping and I wake up to it and and turn it off immediately because it's almost as scary as when I woke up to Remy's 911 clips.

Right.

That's funny.

That's really funny.

That's really sad.

It is really sad.

Well, go listen to white noise.

I feel like you need that.

I am.

There's no diversity on Remy's round table.

And it's a humor.

It's very white.

No white and blue eyes noise.

With blonde hair.

So Nick, you and I got a few minutes before everybody got here and I was checking on you and you looked exhausted.

Your mother in law just left.

Yes.

Thank the Lord Is earth.

No.

Oh my God.

How I didn't know we didn't get that dark.

No.

So neither did he talk about it.

I talked about it.

A few months back, my mother in law suffered from a stroke.

Oh.

Oh, I feel horrible now.

I feel we finally got her scheduled for Surgery after many months of, of her canceling the surgeries or canceling appointments or just coming up with an excuse.

But she had the surgery this week and she stayed at our house for an entire week.

Now this is the longest I've spent in a room with her.

Usually it's like an hour and I'm good.

It was a struggle.

I'm struggling for a minute.

Her memory is not there.

She'll ask the same question three times about something that's in front of her.

But also I think what's scary about this is I also am looking at Sean.

I'm like, this is going to be you in the future.

And I think a woman who has a stroke, he might be a woman that has a stroke.

I'm putting him in a home that's.

Like paradise for him, Nick.

A house full of handicap people.

Sean said, fuck off.

Basically, it, it was exhausting.

I'm emotionally drained.

Sean's emotionally drained from it.

Like she was just asking the most random questions.

Like she's the type person that.

Not that you have a love hate relationship with, you just hate to love them maybe.

I don't know.

She love relationship, I guess.

Yeah, she.

She's not really been around in her life that much.

She always had an excuse for something to not make it to a birthday party or.

I think I talked about it before that.

She asked Sean at our wedding to drive him home during the wedding.

Oh, so she pro move, actually, I respect that.

At 9 o'clock at night on our wedding night, she's like, okay, I'm ready to go home now.

We're like, that's not how this works.

We didn't drive you.

We're not your Uber.

And I offered to send an Uber that night.

But like, so after the surgery, they wanted, they wanted her to basically be in somebody's assistance for like four days to make sure she was getting medicine and not falling over or anything because she just had surgery.

But she was ready to go home after day one.

She kept telling us that.

She's like, I don't want to be here anymore.

I'm like, we don't want you either, but we're kind of stuck here.

The feeling is mutual.

So we finally, finally got her out today.

Hopefully it's for good.

We'll see if there's any more updates on this.

I can't wait to hear more updates.

I hope there's none.

You guys ready to play Jersey man?

Florida man?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, sure.

Whether flipping a fanboat, a crash in a truck.

These States are filled with people who.

Suck, so it's time for us to play New Jersey members.

Every week, Game Master Ryan brings us two news stories.

One is from New Jersey, one is from Florida.

It is up to us to determine which one is which.

Take it away, Ryan.

Hey, guys.

This is Ryan, your in the field news reporter for the Parents Night out news team.

And I am reporting live from a Thanksgiving parade located in Lima, Ohio.

Little fun fact about Lima is it is named after the lima bean.

Another little fun fact is that Scott still doesn't know what flicking the bean means.

Even Nick knows what that needs.

Well, it looks like I got here just in time, because here comes the Parents Night out parade balloon.

Wait.

Nope.

That's just Chris walking down the street.

Guess the biggest loser thing's not really working out for him.

Seems like he's only doing the biggest part of it.

We got reports that Parents Night out was going to use a dog as a mascot for their balloon, but it mysteriously burst into flames and burned like the Hindenburg.

Speaking of flames, I see smoke off in the distance.

So either we have a new Pope or Scott killed another one of his animals.

Some reports are calling this the biggest mercy kill since Biden was taken out of the running for presidency.

We've heard when Nick got the news that he immediately started cleaning out a spot in his freezer.

Sarah, how did you feel when you heard about Scott's phone passing away?

I'm sorry, I gotta stop with that joke.

It's like beating a dead dog.

I mean horse.

I meant horse.

Anyways, before this gets any worse, let's get into our stories from Florida man and Jersey Man.

And for our first story, a mother serves weed and alcohol at a child's party until police show up.

And for our second story, a man puts a 20 foot tall leg lamp in his front yard for Christmas decoration.

All right, so we have.

Worth the Wait.

By the way, it was worth the.

That was worth the wait.

So we've got.

We've got weed and alcohol at a kid's birthday party or a Christmas Story Leg lamp.

Nick, what are your thoughts?

I feel like the giant leg lamp is going to be Florida for some reason.

Okay, Darren, where.

Where did Christmas Story take place?

Up north.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yep.

Leg New Jersey.

Sarah.

Yeah?

I'm gonna go.

Birthday party, Florida.

Leg New Jersey.

Chris.

I'm gonna go Leg New Jersey because I don't know if the cops would come for that up in New Jersey.

The wee and alcohol kids party.

So I had seen a picture of this house, but I don't remember where it's at, so I'm gonna say leg, New Jersey.

And yeah, in Florida.

I feel like that's an everyday occurrence where some meth head mom is giving their kids alcohol and weed for.

For a birthday party.

Let's find out.

Sweet 16.

I wouldn't know.

He wasn't there.

Yeah, I have no idea.

Let's find out the answer.

So our first story is from New Jersey where a mom hosting a gathering for her teen child welcomes up to 150 young guests and serves them weed and alcohol.

Until the police showed up.

Nick said he had a birthday party at his house a couple weeks ago where 20 kids were in his house at the same time.

Scott's record is only about 15 kids in his house.

Two of them were his own and the other 13 were locked up in the basement.

So that means.

Our second story is from Florida where in Neptune Beach, Florida, during a holiday decorating con, a man put a 20 foot tall replica leg lamp from the movie A Christmas Story in his front yard.

Of course, no laws were broken, but police are still on the lookout for a 100 foot tall amputee woman in which the leg belongs to.

And in other news.

Wait, guys, I got something important I gotta go take care of.

I'm sorry, I have to cut this short.

Almost as short as the lifespan of the animals at Scott's house.

Back to you guys.

Oh, thank you so much, Ryan.

Oh my goodness.

I don't get it.

Can you explain what?

I don't, I don't get the joke.

Can you explain it?

Like every other year he's putting down an animal.

Oh, thank you, Darren.

Thank you.

That is true.

In the history of this podcast, which.

Is always, yeah, very frequent.

We're about to hit four years.

In four years I've put down two animals.

Yeah, I must have a two.

We're going to have a two for one special.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, so next year we're actually going to be ahead in Dead Animals versus years of this podcast at some point next year.

Better keep animals in that house, Darren.

You might be next.

Hey Chris, you got any Cliff Notes.

If you really want them.

It's been quite the show.

A lot of stuff's happened, so nothing can stop this little boy from recap the day.

The Chris Cliff snow sw.

In the news this week, there was an allegation that Jay Z had forcefully had sexual relations with a minor.

Guess he has a hundred problems now.

Scott started off the episode by saying that he hates Amazon.

He also hates people of color.

Oh my God.

I said that.

I watched Super Direct at that one.

I voted for Obama.

I'm good.

I said that I watched too many World War II documentaries.

I have to wait until they air on TV.

Sarah has tons of them entitled Meemaw's Home Videos.

Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ.

Oh my good.

Wow.

Oh, I was laughing when I wrote that one.

Sarah said that she prefers to be discreet about her Amazon delivery so that no one judges her packages.

Last person to judge a package of Sarah's got kicked off this podcast.

Oh, my God.

It's my favorite package to date too.

I prefer the severance package.

Anyway, Scott reminded Nick that the elf on the shelf is not allowed to be touched at all.

Scott, is that why Rachel calls your penis the elf on the shelf?

We talked about Spotify wrapped and Scott actually sent me his.

It was only one song though.

In the Arms of the angels by Sarah McLachlan.

I have no idea why you played that over and over and over again.

Scott, it's because you have a dead dog.

That's all the sick dog commercials.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, and lastly, once I said that cliff note when you left and everyone died laughing, I'm like, I can't wait for Scott to hear this one.

And lastly, when Scott came back from his break from the podcast tonight, he totally forgot that Nick was talking.

Scott, maybe you should run for that open senate seat that Matt Gaetz just gave up since you forget that gay people ex this.

Wow.

And those are my cliff nets.

Thank you so much, Chris.

Nick, what do you got coming up with Piper this week?

So we don't.

Oh, we have a cabin this weekend.

We're going away for the fam with the family doing my parents side the family to get a cabin.

There's like 25 of us there celebrating holidays, so.

Yeah, I thought last week was your last vacation of the year.

This isn't a vacation.

It's what's going on when you're with your family.

It's not.

Not a vacation.

But are you staying at your.

I'm speaking up real quick while I'm.

Am I staying where at your home?

No, we have a cabin we're getting.

So it's a vacation in Ohio.

It's in Ohio.

If you're in the same state, it's not a vacation.

So.

Okay, so if I book a staycation at Disney, that's not a vacation.

That doesn't count.

It's different for you guys because you're a tourist place.

People don't come here to Vacation?

We do live in.

Well, no, people go to Cedar Point to vacation.

That's true.

Sandusky, Ohio.

I don't want to call it a vacation.

That's just like a two day weekend.

Yeah, it's different.

So you got a cabin speaking.

Yeah, I got a cabin in the woods.

But speaking of vacation, real quick, I want to chat briefly about Sandpiper vacations.

We were, as an agency, invited to go on the brand new Disney Treasure cruise ship.

Oh, my God.

Congrats.

That's amazing.

It is amazing.

But unfortunately I can't make it because I'm spending time with my amazing family.

So I'm sending a couple of my agents this weekend.

So they leave.

I am hiring, actually.

Are you accepting application?

I'll send you a text.

But I have a couple of my agents hopping on board this weekend for a three night sailing to showcase everything about the Disney Treasure.

And what's cool is the ship hasn't even come out yet.

It's not available for public.

It's going to be gay.

It might be.

Might be.

We'll let it decide.

Okay.

Because it's a choice, right?

It is.

No, wait.

So according to some people, you said.

You were sending some of your Asians.

Who are you?

Fdr.

Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, boy.

I can't with you.

Thank you, Nick.

Sarah, you got anything with the girls this week?

Sophia has her first concert at school, her winter concert.

So we're going to be doing that this week.

And it's her birthday today.

Oh, happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Yep.

So we're going to be just hanging out, doing birthday stuff, making sure she has an eventful week, and then she's got her concert.

Nice.

Yeah.

Chris, you okay?

I said I sent a really insensitive Cliff note to the wrong Scott.

I was like, this is the show, but I gotta send it to you.

That may be the best thing that's.

Ever happened about Rachel.

Oh, my God.

That might be the best thing that's ever happened on the show.

Oh, my God.

I'm like.

I saw you look over and it said red.

I'm like, why are you reacting to it?

And I realized it's not you.

He's fine.

It's okay.

That's really funny, Chris.

What do you got going on this week?

So I'm living in hell right now for a couple different reasons.

My daughter started teething.

She has a couple teeth coming in.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Pump it up with the Tylenol.

Tylenol.

You know, you thought constipation was Bad.

Yeah, yeah.

No, this is way, way worse.

This is way, way worse.

Yeah.

So Those World War II documentaries are coming to life.

It's just.

It's just she's a tyrant.

She is.

She's bossing us around and she's bossing me around.

And.

Anyway, so we're doing that, but I'm also taking her on a little field trip this week.

Oh, yeah.

So I got a notice in the mail that my house is going up for.

For a tax sale because I forgot to pay my.

Because I forgot to pay my sewer bill.

So.

So, okay, listen, we get two sewer bills.

I'm always very good with one and not so good with the other.

Well, I wasn't so good with the other one for.

For a few.

For two billing periods, I guess.

Okay.

It's.

Whatever.

If anybody does want to buy the Lean on My House, it does go out for sale at the end of the.

At the end of this month.

It's relatively cheap.

So.

Yeah.

So we have to venture into the.

What used to be the most dangerous city in America, Camden, New Jersey.

Still only the top 10.

Fifteen, probably.

I think it's probably falling out of the top 10.

So we have to venture there to go pay the utility bill.

So we will be traveling into the.

The city of Camden, New Jersey, this week because it says in Brazil, write bold letters, this cannot be paid online.

You have to pay in person with cash or a certified check.

So.

Which I have neither of.

So I have to go to the bank.

So embarrassing.

Like, hi, can I get a certified bank?

Oh, who am I making this out to?

Well, yeah, because they know.

They know if you're making a certified check to a utility, you do not pay your bill.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not like I didn't want to.

Well, I mean, nobody wants to pay their utility bills, but not that I didn't have the means to do.

I just forget get.

Yes.

No, I get it.

I've been there, done that.

Yeah.

So, yeah, so if I.

We will be going on a field trip.

So, you know, remember I said I needed somebody with a sword to kidnap my daughter?

It might.

Might, Might.

Might be a very small, small sword, but could happen.

Could happen.

So I.

I will wear my Mandalorian helmet, which is in the background of the video right now, when I go into the city there.

And.

And we're going to get this straightened out before we lose the house.

We'll lose the.

I don't even know how it works.

I'm a first time.

I think he had just poop at that Point.

I think that they shut off the toilets.

Yeah.

That's crazy to me that they put a lean on your home.

They just turn off our water here and they're like, okay, deal with it until you pay.

Yeah.

This is the sewer bill.

So they can't shut off the sewer.

Can you imagine if they just clogged your sewer line if you didn't pay the bill?

Just.

Well, maybe that's what they were doing, actually.

Maybe I haven't paid the bill since I moved in.

Interesting.

I have to assess this anyway, more on this next week field trip this week.

Darren, what do you got going on this week?

Saturday.

Saturday night's main event, you know, very, very excited.

Is that the one that.

I don't know what that means.

You're watching on television.

It will be on television.

Yeah.

Okay.

Me and Darren have to start texting about shirtless men wrestling again against each other again.

We haven't texted about that in a while.

And we also.

We also haven't texted about WW in a while either.

No.

Oh, I'm going to my first WWE show at the end of the month.

I'm very excited.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll have to text you more about that.

Off.

Off the airways, off the line.

Well, Abby just auditioned for her school show.

It's Mean Girls, so she auditioned for Regina George.

Oh, wow.

Going all in.

Yeah.

So that's going on.

Let's see here.

That's the one who says if your bell rings, you get the wings, right?

That is correct, yes.

Wow.

That's a really big role.

Very big role.

I also.

It's my birthday next week, so I actually don't know if we're going to record next Monday because it's my birthday.

And I'm very busy.

Oh, that is right.

It is next week.

So happy birthday because this is now your birthday.

This is my birthday right now.

It is Scott's birthday.

Drop what you're doing and text him happy birthday.

And this is your birthday episode.

It's not how that works here.

Where are my cameos?

That's not how it works.

That's next week.

Well, we all have a surprise for you.

And we are all taking our shirts off.

Oh, I was just gonna leave the room, remember?

So, Scott, I did, you know, remember the dog that you unfortunately just had to put down?

Yes, I do.

Turn around.

He's actually right there.

No, he's on the bookshelf downstairs.

The whole shrine.

We light a candle every night.

Right next to the Christmas tree.

Right next to the Christmas tree.

He's celebrating Christmas with us.

It seems very safe.

Yes.

Anyway, Darren, where can our listeners find you?

You can go on Instagram and follow me.

Darren, underscore mafay and you'll find a link tree to all of my other socials.

Alex, you can check me out via Disneyverse D I Z N E Y V E R S E and that is all.

Nick, you can find me on Instagram @emotionalsupportskaynik and on all social media platforms annpipervacations.

Sarah, you can find me on the Instagram and the whatnot at oldsoulthrift.

Chris, you find my gofundme on anywhere you go to fund people for my sewer bill payment.

After you're done donating gracefully to that, you can find me on Instagram at chrisyab and whatnot.

Chrisyab and you can connect with us.

All of our links are right there on our website nonewfriendspodcast.com while you're there, check out our really sweet merchandise and also join our clubhouse.

For as low as $2 a month you get all sorts of exclusive content and early release and all sorts of stuff.

Also join our discord for free.

Just Visit our website nonyfriendspodcast.com that pops up.

Be part of our community for free.

For free.

But also join the clubhouse.

It really helps us out.

If you're listening to us on Spotify or Apple, please leave a five star rating and review.

We love that kind of stuff.

And also check us out on the YouTube at 8pm Eastern Standard Time every Monday night.

Almost every Monday night.

And then you can check us out when we go to the park.

Tick tock out the parks with new new friends on behalf of Giles Garmin, the sophisticated gentleman game master Ryan, our producer, Alex Thewiseman.

Darren.com Nick, Sarah, Chris, I'm Scott.

Thank you so much for listening.

We'll see you next time.

See you later.

Poopy Bus no new friends Just the.

Old and the bold in the world of chaos.