Let's start with a fundamental question.
Do you think that anybody and everybody can recover from a stuck
traumatized state simply by accessing more of their Polyvagal safety state.
The annoying and short answer is that it depends.
I know, I feel the same way.
I can't stand when people say that, but that is the answer.
I'm gonna explain why it's both yes and no in this episode.
Context really matters and so does co regulation.
So does one's history of healthy attachments.
And there's also obstacles to self regulation, even when you're finding
success in your self regulation process.
This is a clip from an open Q& A that I hold twice a month with my private
community, the Stuck Knot Collective.
It's a response to a question from, from one of my members.
After this clip, I'm going to share more information with you about the
progress of my first book, aptly named Stuck Not Broken, book one.
So stick around toward the end to learn where I'm at with that and a
potential very close release date.
My name is Justin Sunseri.
I'm a therapist, a coach, and the creator of the Polyvagal Trauma Relief
System Welcome to Stuck Not Broken, where I teach you how to live with
more calm, confidence, and connection without Psychobabble or Woo Woo.
This is, of course, not therapy, nor is it intended to be a replacement for therapy.
Oh, one more thing.
When I, when you hear us talk about BSA and UDS, that refers to two of my courses
within my community, my private community.
It's Building Safety Anchors and Unstucking Defensive States.
UDS comes after BSA.
Okay, that's it.
Enjoy the episode.
Okay, so do you think everyone, and they bolded this, do you think everyone
could access enough safety via anchors alone to be able to move on to UDS?
And there's a follow up question.
Let's pause there.
Do you think everyone could access enough safety via safety anchors alone?
I wonder if they mean through the course of the course.
building safety anchors, or just generally through safety anchors.
I don't want to say everyone, I don't like talking in huge generalities like
that and say, yes, my system or this course, or like, I don't want to do that.
It feels irresponsible to me.
I do think generally, and the people that come to here you're, this is like that
next level, but you're already on the path of recovery, Self regulation, and
so I feel comfortable saying if you're here, like I generally think that yeah.
Can I promise it?
No, of course not.
I wouldn't do that.
So can, do you think everyone, do you think someone can access enough
safety through Safety Anchors alone to be able to move on to UDS?
I do think,
no, I don't think, I think the answer is no.
If you are living alone, or truly are in danger, And you're practicing this
stuff, like that's fine, but, um, no, you probably need another level of
literal safety in the environment.
So literal safety, safe enough people in your life, uh, and then practicing the
stuff in the course, I think generally it would be helpful, but I guess it
kind of depends on context, right?
I don't think anyone in their current context, depending on what it is,
can just stumble upon my courses.
And even though I wrote them for a very general audience, um, probably not.
Could someone have enough literal safety in their life and, you
know, good connections with people and do their own work.
And just kind of keep to themselves.
The co regulation is important, even if it's not specifically about,
hey, here's what I'm going through and disclosing past stuff, maybe,
or current level of functioning.
Just having co regulation in your life, predictable safety,
that's kind of necessary, huh?
Can we move on to direct through to UDS, which is directly experiencing
what we have inside of us?
If we don't have these other pieces, right?
If we don't have good enough co regulation in our life, is, uh, is that possible?
Actually, Karen, this brings me back to the question you, I think
you asked last time, which is.
Is it possible to do this stuff alone?
Truly alone?
Probably not.
Alone in a environment where you're like captive and in literal danger?
No, probably not.
But alone where, you know, you go to work and you chit chat with people,
but you don't feel super connected and fulfilled, and you go home and
you're mostly alone, or you have a pet.
Like, I think you can do a lot of good with, with just that
personally be a lot harder probably.
But if you're surrounded by true friends, uh, maybe a spouse or partner pets,
uh, yoga studio, where you go and you feel connection and you can move around
a therapist, you know, if you start stacking these pieces up, your potential
to get unstuck is probably a lot higher.
And to benefit from these things.
Yeah, your, your history of attachment, your history of
healthy co regulation growing up, which leads to self regulation.
Yeah, that's, that's a big part of this.
It would give you a leg up, right?
Okay.
So someone who's alone and doesn't have the best co regulation, maybe even a
little bit below good enough, that person could still go on Instagram and YouTube.
They can read books like they can be on the path, but it's like, they're
way, way, way, way, way, way behind.
You know, back compared to someone who's in therapy and doing yoga
and doing meditations and doing retreats, you know, potentially.
So could that person who's more on the extreme end of the spectrum, could
they, uh, set up their home environment to feel a little bit more safe?
I think so.
Can they listen to what's happening within them?
I think so.
Can they add in movement that might be too much for them?
I don't know, just this make believe person, but they can use music maybe, or
their sensory inputs, like they might.
Be able to start doing little things that do open up more capacity for the
next step or for a connection with a new pets or a community or something.
But yeah, it's going to be a longer process probably.
Okay.
So do you think anyone can access enough safety?
Through safety anchors alone to be able to move on to UDS follow up.
Are there barriers and they put in parentheses adaptations?
Are there barriers?
We might need to be aware of that could get in the way, and that might need a
different approach on the extreme end.
If you're not.
In a literally safe environment, like that's, that's the thing
to address first, right?
That's extreme, extreme man.
So I, yeah.
Are there barriers?
Yeah.
So those behavioral adaptations would, would definitely be a barrier.
That's true for anybody.
Just how far you are down that road to self regulation, the intensity of
it, the frequency of it, the ability to sit, to sit with it, to feel it,
to, I mean, the emotion underneath it, you know, it's going to increase
your potential to navigate through it.
Right.
Cognitive adaptations or the things we tell ourselves to keep us stuck.
That's those are barriers.
Um, the barriers might be what happens within you when you do have some success.
So when you do feel a bit more safety, all of a sudden you're
crying or flight activation kicks in.
That's uh, Good sign, but for someone who's not prepared for
that, that could be a barrier.
I think a big barrier is like, when you start to improve, it affects
the people around you and they might have a reaction to a change in you.
That's a really good one.
Thank you for that, Karen.
I love that one.
I love seeing, cause I like, I look at, um, the person I'm working with
as part of, you know, cog in a machine like, or gear, and if they refuse to
turn a certain The other gears have to get out of the machine or start
churning along with them, you know?
And the first thing is they're going to resist it.
Yeah.
I love that one, Karen.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for joining me here in this little clip.
If you enjoyed this and you want to join me in a future meetup, just check out the
Stuck Not Broken total access membership.
I'll have a link for you in the description.
It's justinlmft.com/totalaccess.
Okay, so the book update.
I have completed Stuck Not Broken book one.
Actually, I have it right here.
For the YouTube audience, for the podcast audience, you can't see it sadly.
But, uh, here it is.
It's in its printed version.
It is the, uh, What do they call this the author proof so it says
not for resale across the you know Thick banner across the cover.
So it's just it's a proof for me to see did everything come out the way that
it's supposed to and the answer is no It didn't there are some typographic errors.
I'll show you actually I'll show some images on the YouTube video.
I'll show you some images of What, it didn't come out right.
I think I have it fixed and I have uploaded the new manuscript to Amazon
And I am waiting on the next artist proof to make sure that it is fixed
And as long as it's fixed, then I'm pretty much putting it out for sale.
Oddly Amazon has no pre sale options.
So basically once it's available, I'm gonna announce it to you and
that is the time to buy the book.
To make sure that you know exactly when the book is coming out on day one, make
sure you're on my email list because I'll, um, announce it to my email
list first and then also in podcast episodes and in my private community.
But the email list is probably the first, first place that I'm going
to announce that it's available.
I'm expecting mid July.
So as long as everything is right where it needs to be and there's no typographic
errors, mid July, this thing should be available for purchase, finally.
I'll have a link for you in the description to sign up for my email
list, and that link is actually going to take you to sign up for the email
list, but also it will give you access to StuckNautBot, which is an AI that I made.
It's the companion, official companion AI for the Stuck Not Broken podcast.
I made it so that you could ask it questions about, you know, Polyvagal
theory and trauma recovery and all kind of anything that I talk about here
StucknautBot can chit chat with you about so sign up for the email list You'll
know exactly when the books coming out and you'll get access to StucknautBot.
That is it.
Thank you so much for listening I hope this has been a helpful
resource for you in your trauma recovery or self development journey.
Bye.
This podcast is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or
be a replacement for therapy.
Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.
Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are
experiencing mental health symptoms.
Nothing in this podcast should be construed to be specific life advice.
It is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
More resources are available in the description of this episode
and in the footer of justinlmft.
com.