Welcome to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I'm your host, Blakely Ramsey, and the goal of this podcast is to discuss all things personal development, wellness, and the art of editing your life in an elevated way.

From mastering morning routines to mastering your mindset, we're going to sift through the noise and empower you to take elevated action.

Make sure you catch the show notes for all the details.

Enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to the Elevated Edit podcast.

Today we are going to dive into something that I have talked about before.

But it is so funny how a life event or a life situation will happen and it will kind of reframe the way that you think of something or it will make you think of it even deeper.

And that is exactly what happened to me last week.

So I have talked about making sure that you surround yourself with the right people and making sure that you get in the right rooms.

I consider myself highly fortunate that I have friends that are visionaries and big picture thinkers.

And all of the friends that I attract into my life seem to have that same energy.

Like, I almost magnetize people that have impossible dreams and impossible goals, and they say, you know what?

I'm gonna go after it anyway.

I think that is because that is my personality.

And so I am very fortunate that I am typically surrounded by people who have that same mindset.

The mindset of I can do anything I want to do.

Nothing is impossible at all, period.

Like, I literally am surrounded by people that think in.

In delusional terms.

And I love it because I think in delusional terms too.

And they say, you know, if you shoot for the moon and you miss, you still land among the stars.

And that is like my mindset and the mindset of the majority of the people that I hang around with.

But last week, I spent time with someone who has the opposite of that mindset.

They think in lack, they think in poverty, they think in poor me, they think in victimhood.

And I, no judgment.

That is, I.

I've been there before.

That is perfectly fine for them, but it was just so shocking to me.

So, you know, I'm in conversation with this person.

It's a group conversation.

And everything that anyone said, they turned into a negative.

They turned into a victim hood situation.

They turned into, oh, well, that's nice for you.

Oh, that must be nice.

Oh, we could never do that.

Oh, I could never do that.

And it was just, I mean, like, I literally just sat there and stared at them.

I, like, stopped talking and just, like, listened.

And they were searching for how they couldn't do it, or they were searching for ways that wasn't.

That made whatever it was impossible.

And I was like, wow.

They don't even realize that they are the ones crafting their lives to come to live in a place of poverty.

And it's.

It has nothing to do with their bank account.

It has to do with their mindset.

And it was just.

I.

I do not offer unsolicited advice.

I kept my mouth shut.

I just sat there and literally stared at this individual.

But it made me so sad for them because unless they make a radical change, they are never going to change their lifestyle.

And they don't even realize it.

Like, it, it, it.

It like, broke my heart because I was like, wow, they don't even realize that, yeah, like, a lot of negative things are happening to them, but it's because they're seeking out those negative things just by the way they think.

Everything that they listen to, they search for the negative and oh, poor me.

Oh, pitiful me.

Oh, my life is so hard.

My life is always going to be hard.

That's just how my life is.

And it reminded me that the people that you surround yourself with is wildly important because the people closest to you shape your mindset, your energy and your trajectory more than you realize.

Because I quickly realized, I was like, wow, if I didn't have, like, a high level of awareness and I was constantly thinking about my mindset, being around this individual would almost make me go, huh, well, maybe I should start doubting myself.

Well, maybe I should doubt my big dreams.

Well, maybe they are right, you know, Like, I was like, wow, I could quickly go to their mindset if I'm not careful, especially if I spent an extended amount of time with them.

I think I was around them for, like, 30 minutes.

And I was like, whoa.

That was a lot.

Like, I need to go, like, regulate my nervous system after hanging out with them because I need to get back and like, anything is possible and obstacles are lessons.

Mindset, like, that is like, where I want to live.

And so I had to, like, journal and kind of get back in my.

In my mindset that I want to live in.

And so I want to kind of.

I did some research on this.

Y'all know, I'm really big on research right now.

Like, I don't want to just talk about things.

I want to actually know and understand, um, what is going on.

So I did a little research on the science behind proximity and success.

And there was a study done, an MIT study, on dorm friendships.

And what they found was the proximity effect.

And the study showed that we subconsciously adopt the beliefs, habits, and attitudes of the people that we spend the most time with.

So they did the study on dorm students, like, or dorm students, on students living in dorms.

And of course, they found, I feel like this part is common sense, that people are likely to become best friends with those who live closest to them.

And that proved that proximity breeds connection.

And then they show that that proximity was, like, subconsciously, the dorm mates would adopt the habits, beliefs, and attitudes of the other person that lived in their dorm, which can be good or bad.

So if you are hanging out with someone or living with someone who gets up early, in a great mood and works out and takes good care of themselves and handles their business and stays positive and has fun and lives with joy and abundance, like, you're going to adopt those beliefs and habits.

But if you live with someone who sleeps in all day every day and doesn't clean up after themselves and doesn't really care about, you know, growing and evolving and has a negative mindset about everything and constantly seeks out negativity and sits on social media all day and talks about how, oh, well, I can't believe that that person's going for it.

That's so embarrassing.

Like, you're going to adopt those habits and beliefs as well.

And it's common sense.

But, like, reading through the study, I was like, whoa.

Like, we don't often stop to think about it.

At least, I don't.

I.

I don't often go, okay, am I behaving like the five people that I've spent the most time with this month?

You know, you, like, logically don't slow down and think about it.

But I did slow down and think about it this week, and I was like, wow, the reason that I can stay in this positive mindset is because the people that are in my life are so positive and so excited and so motivated.

I have very few people that live in victimhood land.

And typically, the people that do live in victim land don't want to hang out with me because I'm going to tell them, like, you know, if they ask, I'm going to say, well, you're bringing a lot of it on yourself by the way that you're thinking.

Like I said, I don't like to give unsolicited advice because I don't like to go down that rabbit hole.

It is not worth my time and energy.

But if somebody asks, I am going to be, you know, very honest.

And it goes back to a Jim Rohn quote that he says, you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with.

And it's so true.

You become the average of the five people that you spend the most time with.

And I also read a study, and I'm not going to go too deep into it, A, because I didn't understand the full depth, and B, because it's really boring.

But the study was about mirror neurons.

It's really hard for me to say mirror neurons and how our brain natural naturally mimics the behaviors and emotions of those around us.

So that goes back to what I was talking about, where if you surround yourself with people who think bigger, you naturally start to think bigger.

And if you surround yourself with people who are full of negativity and doubt and complacency, you absorb that too.

Whether you realize it or not, this is all subconscious.

This isn't something that we are, like, consciously aware of, that we're like, oh, okay, I need to be careful.

I need to be aware of this.

This is all happening subconsciously.

That's so wild to me.

And then there was also a study done about energy transfer.

And I feel like I'm fairly in tune, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on the room, with the energy of the people around me.

And they say that, you know, studies in psychology show that emotions are contagious.

So if you're around people who are constantly stressed out, you're gonna feel it.

And if you're around people who are inspired and taking action, you're gonna feel it too.

The energy that, like, affects me the most is people who have anxiety or they.

They are.

They lack, like, self confidence because there's almost this, like, clingy energy that comes off.

And I am very.

I kind of live in, like, I like to have my own bubble.

And I sometimes like to just not be talking all the time.

And so when someone has, like, a high level of energy anxiety that maybe they're not even aware of and they're constantly needing, like, validation from me, it.

I do tend to.

Unfortunately, this is something I'm trying to work on.

I do tend to snap at them because I'm like, it's not personal.

I just, like, don't want to talk every second of the time that we're together.

And so it can be really difficult, you know, when you are in tune with people's energies, because I'm like, immediately, I'm like, this is about to be an exhausting conversation.

Or like, oh, this is about to be, like an exhausting, you know, event or whatever.

It is.

And so just being aware of all of this and that all of it is happening subconsciously is so important.

And more so than, like, avoiding the negative people.

That's definitely not what I want to do.

Like, I don't want to push people out of my life, especially people that I love.

I want to flip it, and I want to seek out more people who are thinking bigger and thinking positively and thinking what's possible, what else?

How much more?

How could we revise this?

Like, how could we grow this?

Like, I don't want to avoid people.

I want to seek people out.

Because when you're avoiding, you're actually looking for.

So I would actually be looking for negative people.

I don't.

I don't even want to think about that at all.

I want to turn the opposite way and be like, how can I actively seek out people who are constantly growing and constantly evolving?

And not in, like a I'm chasing money way, but a friend and I earlier were talking about.

We were like, it's not even about the money.

It's about being in the game.

Like, I am.

I am.

I'm addicted to the game.

Like, I love to wake up in the morning.

My first thought in the morning is, how big can I play the game today?

And then I go for it.

And sometimes I fail and crash and burn and fall flat on my face.

And I go, okay, well, we lost the game today, but we learned.

And then sometimes I blow my own mind.

And so I, like, actively seek people who think with that same mindset.

And I, like I said, I'm so fortunate because I have surrounded myself with some really amazing people.

And I have an analogy.

Just because I love to, like, paint a visual picture.

I want you to imagine that you're a seed full of potential, okay?

But the soil that you're planted in is what determines how well you grow.

Okay, so same seed, same potential, but the soil that you're planted in determines how well you're growing.

So if you put that seed full of potential in rocky soil, and so this rocky soil is like negative, stagnant people, the seed's probably not going to grow.

It's not the seed's fault.

It's the rocky soil that you planted it in.

It's not getting a ton of sunlight.

You know, the rocks aren't allowing it to properly absorb nutrients.

It's just.

It's not going to grow.

And if it does, it's going to grow slowly and it's probably not going to grow to its full potential because of the rocky Soil that you put it in versus if you put it in fertile soil with like minded growth oriented people.

So the people that you're surrounding yourself with, it allows that seed to flourish.

Okay, the seed is going to grow not only big and strong, but I'm imagining that it's a tree, maybe it's a sunflower, I don't know.

You can, you can create your own visual.

I'm picturing an oak tree.

That seed is going not only going to grow so big and so strong to its fullest potential, it's going to grow that way quickly because it is in the right environment.

You're not going to blame the seed for failing to grow in the bad soil.

You just move it to better soil.

And that's the same thing with your environment and the people that you hang out with.

Once again, this does not mean that you have to cut people out, but just make sure that you are actively seeking out people and actively planning, planting yourself in the right environment so that you can grow and you can flourish to your fullest potential in the easiest and most effortless and fastest way possible.

Because if you're surrounding yourself with people who think positively and think big and think with that like action oriented mindset, your path to success is going to feel easier than if you're around people who are stagnant and negative.

Like, you're probably going to be putting in the same work and the same effort, but it is going to feel easier for you.

Like that to me is so cool how you can literally like determine that with the people that you hang out with.

And the truth of all of this is is you are not meant to grow alone.

Like biologically, we were not created to do things alone.

We're meant to have people who get it.

And having someone who gets it removes so much mental friction.

I have a, we'll call her a business friend because we met in a business capacity and we always talk about business and we will send voice notes back and forth all day.

And if I am in like a really just ready to bang my head against the wall, like, why did I do this?

Why did I think this was a good idea?

Why am I doing something that literally if I fail at this, I am going to embarrass myself.

Like, I'm working on something right now and if it fails, it's going to fail in a big way.

Like in a very embarrassing way.

It's not going to be like, I can just feel like, oh, that that social media post didn't go well.

It's a Biggie.

And.

And that my business friend is in the exact same situation.

She's doing the exact same thing.

And for the longest time, I was like, gosh, I'm so scared.

I'm so worried.

I'm so nervous.

Like.

But now that her and I are talking about it, I'm like, we're like, okay, you know, the absolute worst thing that can happen is we fail very publicly.

But what if the best thing happens?

What if the best case scenario happens?

And so we're just, like, back and forth sending each other like, okay, this is scary, but we're in this.

And so it's just so nice to have someone who feels the fear too and knows that failure is a possibility.

But it's just, like, pushing me.

Like, we got this.

We got this.

The worst thing that we can do is fall flat on our face in front of everyone and be completely embarrassed.

I mean, literally, that's the worst thing that can happen.

And if you, like, accept it, it's like, okay, that's really not that bad.

But let's not focus on that.

We're focusing on how big it can be, how impactful it can be.

Like, this could also change our lives in the best way possible.

And just having someone who is, like, encouraging and in the same boat helps so much.

And I'll be super honest, I don't know if I would be able to get through this specific thing if it weren't for her encouragement.

And she said she feels the same way.

Like, just being able to bounce those ideas off of each other.

And this goes back to, like, you don't need more friends.

You don't need to, like, add all these people.

You just need to find the right friends in the right areas of your life.

And there are a couple different ways that you can do this.

I have been actively, like I said, I am very fortunate that I'm already surrounded by people who think that way.

But I am also, and at this, in this season, actively seeking people for specific areas of my life.

So, like, I'm actively seeking friends who are trying to grow a podcast, who are trying to, you know, launch a company, who are trying to, you know, get into the coaching area, who are trying to run ads, who are trying to increase their sales skills.

Like, all the things that I am, like, very, like, intentionally fine tuning within my own life.

I'm actively seeking people who are doing the same thing as well.

And it.

I truly think it's helping me grow so much.

So a couple of different ways you can do this, you can join different communities so you can join masterminds or business groups or even local meetups.

I am really excited.

A friend of mine is starting a local meetup that I am very fortunate to be a part of.

And I can't wait, because I'm like, that is one more set of encouraging, positive conversations that I'm going to have in my life that are just going to, like, reinforce the.

The impossible.

That are going to reinforce, like, girl, you can do this.

You can invest in proximity.

So sometimes the best way to get in the right room is to pay to be in it.

Two years ago, I did not have that mindset.

A year ago, I did not have that mindset.

Now that I have invested in being in the right room, I would pay.

Like, I am like, that's the thing I'm most excited about now when it comes to, quote, unquote, making money, I'm not trying to buy all this flashy stuff.

Being able to purchase things is nice, but I'm like, how can I pay to get in even bigger rooms?

Like, I want to get in bigger rooms and be around people who are thinking even bigger.

Like, I want to invest my money in people who are are curating rooms that intentionally help you grow.

And then another thing, like, if you have $0 because someone is going to give that objection, they're like, well, blankly, I don't have any money.

Okay?

I've been there.

Trust me.

I have been broke as a joke, multiple times in my life, many seasons, many decades.

Super broke.

I'm talking about eating pork and beans out of a can with a spoon.

Cold.

Because you don't have any electricity.

Cold.

Okay, Poor.

Okay, I get it.

Like, I really, genuinely do get it.

So I'm going to give you something free that you can use to get in the right rooms.

It's social media.

You don't have to scroll cat reels all day, which I get it.

I love to scroll some cat reels.

You don't have to go down these negative rabbit holes of people talking about how the world is over and everything is terrible and there's no opportunity and this is the worst time ever.

Be alive.

Curate your social media so that you are following, engaging, and building relationships with people who actually inspire you.

You have control over your algorithm.

You can pretend like you don't, but you literally have control.

Occasionally, I'll be scrolling on social media and something negative will pop up and I will click those three buttons and I will say, not interested, or I'll block that person in a heartbeat.

I block so Many people.

I'm like, I don't even second guess it.

If you post something negative, I will block you.

I don't want to be.

I don't want that in my life at all.

And so if that's where you're at and you're like, blakely, I have literally $0 to spend on getting in the right rooms.

Use social media intentionally.

There are amazing Facebook groups.

There are so many people on Instagram.

There's people on TikTok.

There's people on LinkedIn.

There's people on YouTube that are so inspiring, so encouraging.

Follow those people, like their content, comment on their content so that it pops up at the top, or really go out on a limb and message them and say, hey, I have a struggle that I am really going through.

Do you mind helping me and then provide value?

Say, and in return, I will do blah, blah, blah, or I would love to, you know, you know, go to your website and leave a review for something like, find a way to provide value, but shoot your shot and ask them a question like, get in their circle.

Get in there.

They might not see your message because likely they're probably not sitting on social media, but if they, like, there's a chance that they could, how cool would that be if, like, somebody that you really looked up to messaged you back?

I did the very.

That very thing a couple weeks ago.

There is this girl that I really, really look up to.

I mean, she is the definition of walks the walk.

She has all of the excuses to not accomplish things, and she walks the walk.

Like, I literally look up to her and I respect her so much.

And I just sent her a message and I was like, hey, I just want to let you know that I, like, enjoy all of your content.

I really, like, enjoy listening to your podcast and your YouTube.

I always try to like your stuff.

I've subscribed to everything.

I have left a review for everything that I can.

If there's ever anything that I can do for you in the future, I would love to help, you know, you grow your brand.

And she messaged me back.

She was like, oh, my gosh, thank you so much.

Like, that was.

That's so kind that you do that for me.

And now you better believe I'm going to message her again in a couple months.

And one day, I am going to infiltrate her inner circle.

I like, it's on my vision board.

I'm going to do it.

But I showed up and provided value.

I didn't just say, hey, can you give me all your Every thought in your brain for free.

Don't do that.

Show up and provide value.

But use social media.

Intentionally use social media to get in the right rooms.

You can do that for free.

There's no excuse whatsoever.

There's probably free local meetups in your area.

Just get out and ask, like actively seek out the right rooms.

If you feel like you are only surrounded by negative people, it is your job and your responsibility to change that.

So I'll leave that, I'll leave that rant right there.

But just remember that you are in control of your situation.

You might not always be able to control, you know, your co workers or even your family members, but you still have the opportunity to actively seek out people who are thinking big and thinking positive and thinking what is possible.

Now I want to put a caveat on this because I have seen people take this the opposite way and that is also a detriment.

So don't think that you're better than anyone else when it comes to this.

Seeking out growth and seeking out positive people doesn't mean that you get to look down on other people, that you get to think you're better than everyone else.

I have been humbled by life more than I know.

And so I am never going to put someone down who is in a rough season or a rough patch or just having a rough life.

I'm never going to walk up to them and be like, you really need to get your act together.

You really need to start thinking positively.

I'm not, I'm not going to do that.

That's not my job.

I don't have the energy for that.

I am just going to seek out positive people.

I don't think I'm better than anyone else I know.

Tomorrow I could lose everything and be back at square one.

I could be back eating those pork and beans with a spoon cold.

Like I always keep that in the back of my mind.

I could lose everything, everything tomorrow.

So I better stay humble.

So you're not better than anyone else, but that doesn't mean that you have to, you have to stay in those situations where people are just constantly negative.

So you can still love and support your people, you can still love and support your friends and family, but you can do it while seeking growth minded people in specific areas of your life.

Like I said, you don't have to cut anybody out, but just seek those positive relationships, seek that positive encouragement.

It takes one person to tell you that they believe in you and that they know you can do it and that you anything is possible for You.

I have one person in my life.

And she.

Literally, the first time I met her, she looked at me and she said, you have something.

And I was like, what are you talking about?

And she was like, I don't know what it is.

She's like, you just have an energy.

You have a vibe.

I see something in you that, like, I don't even think that you see.

And she changed my life.

So, like, seek that out.

Like, find somebody to do that.

If you need me to do that for you, message me on Instagram and be like, blakely, I need you to tell me that I can do it.

And, but be prepared, because if you put.

If.

If you want me to plan a dream, oh, we're going to plan it, but we're going to grow it too.

We don't just talk the talk over here.

Okay?

And my last thing is keep the balance.

You can keep your core friendships for love, history and grounding, but seek those growth relationships for accountability, motivation, and inspiration.

And I want to reiterate, I've said this before.

I'm going to say it again.

Don't place the expectation on your current friends to be everything for you that is not fair to them.

It's not fair for you to all of a sudden be like, oh, hey, I am now a growth minded, positive, encouraging person.

I expect everyone around me to change as well.

That is so not fair.

And honestly, it is a little entitled of you to think that I don't think that about my friends.

But I'm also like, I'm also not going to stay in a negative mindset just because, you know, a friend or a family member might be there.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm just going to seek out growth minded people so that I can grow.

Because I do want to grow.

I want to be around encouraging people.

I want to be around positive people.

I want to be around people who go, huh, okay, we can do this.

Or there's this really impossible thing.

Why don't we go for that?

And it's like, okay, let's go for it.

I want to be around those people.

Those are the people that I want to be around.

So remember, your environment shapes your mindset.

Proximity is powerful.

You don't have to cut people out.

Just be intentional.

And remember that there are people out there right now, right this moment, there is someone doing what you want to do, doing it in a positive way, and thinking big.

So find them and that will make all of the difference for you.

It really will.

It will shape your mindset.

So much and getting in the rooms and getting in the conversations and getting around people who are positive and encouraging and have a growth mindset or whatever it is that you're seeking.

That is me placing assumption on you.

Whatever it is that you're seeking.

If you are seeking, you know, solace.

Well, actually you probably aren't seeking anybody then.

But you know what I am talking about.

Read between the lines, okay?

Just feel like Blakely, just hush.

But seek out those people who are you spending the most time with.

Do they reflect where you want to go and if not, that's okay.

But what is one step that you can take to put yourself in the right rooms?

Just kind of think about it.

Plant that seed in the back of your head and be like, huh, I don't feel a ton of encouragement.

I don't feel a ton of positivity around me.

What's something that I can do to actually take care of that and to put myself in the right rooms?

Y'all know I love action around here.

We go through hard things, we experience things we don't love, but it is our responsibility to take action towards it.

If we just sit around and do nothing about it, it stays.

It turns into our responsibility and it turns into our fault.

So take positive action, whatever that ends up being okay.

If you loved this episode, if you felt a little something something from it, share it with someone who needs to hear it.

And I would love if you would even share the share the episode on social media.

Take a screenshot, tag me in your Instagram story or Facebook story or whatever it is.

And as always, leave a review.

I want to reach all of the women just like you, so please leave a review if you have not.

And with that, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day and I will see you in the next episode.

Thank you for tuning in to the Elevated Edit podcast.

I hope you found today's episode inspiring and full of actionable tips.

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Keep growing, glowing and elevating your life.

See you soon.