00:00:06 Nazish: What if healing didn't always begin with effort, discipline, or fixing yourself? What if it begins with something far more simpler and far more human? Play. Not play as an escape, but play as a way back into your body, your breath and your joy. Today's conversation invites us to loosen our grip and rediscover how moments, laughter, and curiosity can quietly restore what success and seriousness have worn down.

00:00:39 Nazish: Welcome to Healing Mindset, where we explore gentle, grounded ways to support mental and physical well-being. I am your host and today I am joined by Zander Phillips, who has spent over a decade travelling the world with nothing but a backpack and a hacky sack. Using play as a universal language to connect, heal and transform lives. In this episode, we are exploring play not as something childish or optional, but as a powerful, often overlooked tool for mental clarity, emotional regulation, and physical health. Welcome to the show, Zander.

00:01:21 Zander Phelps: Thank you. Good to be here.

00:01:23 Nazish: Wonderful. So, Zander, before we get into the science or philosophy, I am curious when did you stop? When did play stop being just something you did and start becoming something you understood as an essential?

00:01:41 Zander Phelps: Wow. Um, I mean, it's it was a gradual progression. I mean, I, I there was at one point in time when somebody gave me their foot bag and that really changed my world. Um, like I that's when I had my backpack and was able to travel and, and meet people that way and found the, the commonality of what play does. Um, but I didn't really start taking it seriously as, as kind of like almost a, a science based thing, if you will, like really studying it until a few years later when I was, you know, just like re, um, rewinding my experiences with play and how much of a difference it made in my world. So probably like, you know, that probably started probably in the late nineties.

00:02:29 Nazish: Wow, that sounds absolutely beautiful.

00:02:33 Zander Phelps: Yeah, that's good stuff.

00:02:35 Nazish: You know? Um, so play wasn't a concept you studied. It was something your body and experience taught you first?

00:02:44 Zander Phelps: Yes. It was. It was experiential. I didn't I didn't have any. I've only really recently starting diving into the science of the and the brain stuff that happens with it, the chemical reactions that happen in your brain and why the brain is, is why play is like the easiest way to learn things and what your body can do with it. Before, it was all experiential. I mean, it was just it was just more like play became my default after just having fun with it. And, um, and then just recognizing that the world made a lot more sense if I was in a playful state. So I just kept on playing all the time, like it became. I found ways to play, even in mundane things. So, yeah, it just made everything better.

00:03:29 Nazish: Yeah. It did. You know, many adults hear the word play and immediately think, that's nice, but I. But I have real responsibilities. What do you think we misunderstand most about play when it comes to healing and health?

00:03:47 Zander Phelps: Um, play is not a distraction. It's essential. Um, unless you have your mental state, good physical state is not going to follow. I don't care how many how much exercises you're doing, how much, how much, how much you're you're watching things and trying to eat the best foods or whatever. Um, really, your mental state is the precursor for having a physical good state. So play is just a reminder that not to take everything so seriously, and it gives your your body a chance just to relax. Because if you're playing, you're not under stress. The body automatically associates play with. That's why the cortisol levels just plummet once you start playing. Uh, because you wouldn't be able to be under stress and play. You're worried. You're worried too much. You're in danger. So you're in that fight or flight mode. So play automatically comes with the default of being in a healthy state. So by by continually playing, you're telling your body continually it can relax and it can start healing.

00:04:50 Nazish: That sounds absolutely beautiful. You know that clears so many things for us. It sounds like play isn't the opposite of responsibility. It's often what helps us carry responsibility without burning out.

00:05:04 Zander Phelps: One hundred percent the play. Play in the workplace. Play is productivity. It's not the antithesis. It's actually like and they're they're now showing this. It's not it's not no longer just a concept. When people are in a playful state, they're way more productive. They're able to think creatively outside the box. And it opens up the opportunity for, uh, Radical development. So if you can keep playful in a playful state, it doesn't. The work burden doesn't doesn't drag on you. It creates a whole different mindset.

00:05:37 Nazish: Absolutely I agree. You know, let's just stay with that for a moment. What do you think on a deeper level, so many adults disconnect, you know, from play as they grew older. Like why do you think so that happens.

00:05:53 Zander Phelps: Uh, absolutely. It was a strategy. It's, um. It's not it's it's a function of the system that we're under right now. I mean, if I'm if I take a big panoramic view of what, what type of institutions we're involved with or the growing up process, um, you know, talk a lot about this, how children are born playful. That's that's our default. It's a way. It's a way we learn is through play. It's not by studying tutorials or reading books or manuals. We we learn through play. But slowly, um, we get forced it out of us. Like the parents have to conform their children to society. Society renders play as obnoxious or a distraction. Uh, and then we go through a school system that teaches us to. Well, it essentially dumbs us down. Uh, it stifles creativity. It stifles the children's ability to run around and experience their physicalness. So we take that away from it, which slowly deteriorates the mind and the body, and then play becomes a recess thing, and then it slowly goes into, uh, it's only sports that we can actually play and sports is competitive. So that starts training our mind to be more competitive versus playful. And then we get to adulthood where the quote unquote responsibilities happen. So play is is a distraction from that. And that's where we start. Really starting to get that mindset of play is something I don't have time for. Uh, you know, I've got these things I got to do that are really important. And play is not categorized as that. And that's what we've got to really start challenging ourselves to recognise that play is essential. It's not something, it's not a distraction. It's something that we need to do in order to stay healthy and physically able to continue, uh, and, and make the most of, of all this. That's. Yeah.

00:07:48 Nazish: Yeah, that is very true. You know, it is like when play disappears, it is not neutral. It leaves a real imprint on nervous system and the body.

00:07:58 Zander Phelps: Yep yep yep. It it's harsh.

00:08:03 Nazish: Yeah, it is harsh. So from your work across cultures and communities, how does lack of play tend to show up in everyday life like stress, pain or emotional heaviness?

00:08:16 Zander Phelps: Well, yeah. I mean, the people who play the less the least are are it's just evident how unhappy they are. Um, you know that some of the, some of the the best cultures and best situations I have been. They didn't have a lot of money. Um, that wasn't that wasn't the equation equation of health and and and mental well-being, well-being. It was how they interacted with life and the places that had the biggest smiles, the most openness, and the most playful nature. Uh, it was palatable. You can feel it. And it was especially evident in the children, um, you know, the where they were able to run around and just goof around. They're laughing, they're smiling. They're they're playing all the time that that builds a strong bond, uh, in the community. Uh, when I, you know, I'm, I'm a lot of times in, in, in places where that's not evident, you don't see children outside playing and you can feel the energy in the community is suppressed. Um, people under a lot more stress and trying to deal with the quote unquote, again, real world issues. Um, and we, we lose that focus and children and play to me are what make life really worth living. It brings the focus to what? What really matters. So that's the absence of play to me, is the absence of life.

00:09:34 Nazish: It is. I must agree to that. You know, listening to you has given me a different perspective towards play. So, you know, when people reintroduce playful moments or games, what shifts do you do? They notice first?

00:09:49 Zander Phelps: Well, you immediately get the sense of relief. You get the sense of like, okay, uh, plays, play something people look forward to. So if you can add more games into your world, that's one way of playing. But like, like for me, I have a game night with my friends and I look forward to it every week. It's something like I can put on my calendar, okay, we're going to meet up and have a game night. That's something I treasure those that time. Um, so if you start incorporating that into your world, it it you can immediately, uh, get the value of enjoying the play. But then if you start scheduling it, It gives you something to look forward to. But the true, the true power comes in trying to make every moment playful, trying to trying to incorporate. Because once you start getting that, that fix, if you will, because it the brain does produce chemicals that the epinephrine, the dopamine, all these, these wonderful brain concoctions that your body can get addicted to. It's a matter of using that in a positive way. So play is something that you can incorporate into everyday activities and get a little fix of that, that joy all the time if you want, but you can control it, which is the great thing.

00:11:00 Nazish: Absolutely. I agree with that. And that is so powerful. Like sometimes body responds faster than mind ever could. Yeah.

00:11:08 Zander Phelps: Yep.

00:11:09 Nazish: Yeah. So for someone listening right now who feels disconnected from their body or joy, you know, play can feel really intimidating. Where do you suggest they begin? Like, without pressure or or performance?

00:11:24 Zander Phelps: Well. okay. There are several things I recommend, hands down to almost everybody. I. I promote juggling as one of the best brain exercise possible, but it's something you can do by yourself in, in the in your the safety of your own confined area. So you don't have to do it in public. But it's a way just I encourage that as something that challenges your brain and keeps you, uh, in a playful state. Juggling is super fun to do. Um, I realize that people have challenges with it, so I kind of created a a step by step to learn how to juggle. That's one thing I, I recommend as far as, uh, you know, an overall you can control how to play and when to play with it. Um, it's my it's my highest recommendation for, for optimal brain health. But another thing, along with play laughter is another thing that I recommend people to do. And there's there's several different ways that you can incorporate laughter. Uh, I do it every almost every morning when I wake up in bed, I do a little laughter thing to get my brain to start. Start fixing in that, in that mode almost immediately. So, um, I mean, I'm a primarily a play coach, but laughter is incorporated in that as far as, uh, fully mental and physical health. It's extraordinary. So laugh as much as you can, but your brain literally does not know the difference between, uh, real laughter or fake laughter. So if you start fake laughing, you're going to get the, the, the benefits of it, and you start training your brain to laugh more and more. It's kind of amazing.

00:12:59 Nazish: It is. It sounds amazing, you know? And so it's not about doing it right. It's about creating safety and curiosity in the body again.

00:13:08 Zander Phelps: Yes. And also and also I must mention that, um, different people have different ways of playing. Playing. Play is a huge, broad word. Um, actually I there I've, there's kind of four archetypes that I have for what different type of play characters and I based them on, like, you know, mythical things. Like there's a warrior, a wizard, a druid and a bard, and they have different ways of playing. So, I mean, I have a I have a program available. It's all free on the website, but you can actually find out what type of archetype you are and those different little play things you can do. They're very simple, and you can incorporate them into every day and just find which one really works for you. But they're just different ways to spark your brain and get you back into a playful state really quickly.

00:13:54 Nazish: Absolutely. I agree with that. You know, uh, what tends to get in the way of sustaining play, especially when life becomes stressful again?

00:14:06 Zander Phelps: Life. That's a that's a self answer. Like like life gets in the way of play. Um, we get stressed out easily and there's so many things that we're bombarded with all the time. Again, not by accident. So, um, recognizing that you can control that, um, you what you want to do is you you want to you want to be able to deal with what you can control, things that you can't control or out of your reach, dismiss them. Um, unfortunately, we dwell on those things that are so outside of our reach that it it puts us into a state of overwhelm and helplessness by being able to take that back and regain our control of what we can influence, then we get our power back. So I start off with breathwork, get your breath under control, and then just again find the exercises that you can do that'll really get your brain back into a playful state almost instantly. But you know, yeah, life has a tendency to keep on trying to kick us. And you just gotta, gotta remember that you can, you know, handle things, of course, but come back, come back to where you're feeling like you're comfortable in your own body again and that you can you can handle the things that you can't handle.

00:15:19 Nazish: I definitely agree with that. Uh, you know, that really reframes play as a support during difficulty and not a reward after it. So for anyone listening who feels tired, disconnected or overwhelmed, what is one small, playful moment you think that they can do for like.

00:15:43 Zander Phelps: Um, others, depending on their situation? Uh, I mean, uh, the I'm again, if you're if you're in a stressful situation, the best thing you can do really is to control your breath. That because if you once once you control your breath and you focus on that, your body gets out of the stress almost immediately. Um, because you're not going to be, uh, if you're aware of your breath and you're focusing your breath, you're not being chased by a tiger. You're not you're not in any danger. So your body automatically relaxes, and then you can take an adjustment from there of what you need to do and to get into a playful moment. Um, I have I mean, for my own personal thing, I have these little balls that I create and I make, and I teach people how to make, and I keep that with me all the time. So I can just squeeze one of those or toss it back and forth or something. And I'm automatically reminded that everything's okay just because that's become like my anchor. Um, if I have one with me, I know that the world is fine and I can play. So that's like that's like my my trigger, if you will, looking into it. Yeah.

00:16:52 Nazish: Yeah, that sounds amazing. You know, uh, I believe, like, finally believing that that healing does not always come from pushing harder. Sometimes it begins when we give ourselves permission to play again.

00:17:07 Zander Phelps: Exactly, exactly. And self awareness of where you're at right now. I mean, it's always good to take inventory. Um, even if you're in a very bad situation. Just remember, things could always be worse. That's why even if I'm in a in a bad situation, I'm like, okay, things could be worse. So what do I've got going for me right now? What's what's the positive thing? Start getting into that mode. Uh, that that gratitude thing of like, what do I have going that's positive? We'll put your brain in a better state because it can work against you. Your brain, your brain will start looking for danger, and it will start, you know, putting a magnifying those things for survival instincts. But once you start taking control of it, get your breathwork under control. Then you can start taking awareness of what the positives are, and then you can switch that energy pretty quickly.

00:17:55 Nazish: Absolutely. I agree with that. Um, so, Zander, for our listeners who want to explore your work and learn more from you, where can they connect with you?

00:18:05 Zander Phelps: Um, my website is the best place. It's just it's just z play coach. Com um, and on there you can there's the, the sign up for the, the the email thing starts a little a run of several different emails that first define your archetype, what character you are, your play character and then gives you like little things you can do. I think they come out every three days or something like that, but they're just really quick, um, things that are specifically for each archetype. Um, that's that's helpful. And there's, you know, I've got a book coming out soon which talks more about the play and, and the impact on the world and what we why we need it now more than ever. Um, you know, I've got various coloring books for, for mental health because coloring is another thing that helps your brain relax. So there's some, you know, put together some pretty fun coloring books in there. And then I have a bunch of free resources for, um, you know, how to juggle is on there. You can you can learn how to make really nice juggling balls out of rice, plastic bags and balloons. It's really easy. And I teach steps to learn how to juggle on there. Um, as well as the origami, which is another another fun thing extraordinary for the brain. So I have a whole section on origami and how to make some really amazing origami animals. So those are those are just some fun ways I've, I've come across that are really, really phenomenal tricks for the brain.

00:19:26 Nazish: Wonderful. I will make sure to include all these details into the show notes, so that a lot of people can connect with you. Thank you so much for spending this time with us on Healing Mindset. It was absolutely amazing with you.

00:19:39 Zander Phelps: Good stuff. Thank you. Thank you for having me.

00:19:41 Nazish: Yep. And dear listeners, if today's conversation resonated with you as well, I invite you to carry one small moment of play into your day. No agenda, no outcome, just presence. So until next time, be gentle with your body, curious with your mind, and open to joy in unexpected places. Thank you so much for joining us today.