What is your negativity costing you?

What are the words you're speaking or thinking doing to you mentally, physically and spiritually?

We're going to dig into this today and we're going to dig into why so often we continue in these negative or unhelpful thought patterns and we keep them on repeat.

It might be about ourselves, it might be about our co workers or someone else, it might be about our the trauma or hurt we've walked through.

Or it might just be our outlook on life.

Whatever it is, it's something we need to talk about because our thoughts and what we think, what we speak have a direct impact on our lives and they have a direct impact on the lives of people around us.

Welcome to Faith Fueled Living, the podcast that equips you to live well spiritually, emotionally, physically and purposefully.

Each week we'll dive into conversations and biblical truths to help you strengthen your faith, pursue meaningful work experience for your whole self, and live aligned with what matters most.

As Mark Batterson says in his book, Please, sorry, thanks.

He says, for better or for worse, our words are self fulfilling prophecies.

Are you giving people something to live up to or something to live down to?

Are your words life giving or do your words suck the life out of others?

Are your words encouraging or discouraging?

And so that is what we're going to dig into today because it's so easy to get caught up in negativity, in toxic language, in putting someone down.

Or maybe we don't even think we're putting someone down.

Maybe we think, well, we're just a little bit of hard love here, right?

Or whatever it might be, maybe we think that they don't hear what we're saying.

Or maybe we just have on repeat in our heads messages and words that are not kind or helping us in any way about ourselves, right?

The messages we keep saying in our heads, oh, you look horrible.

Oh, you're so overweight.

Whatever it might be that's on repeat in your head.

Or maybe you just keep speaking life into the circumstance of your life that isn't where you want it to be.

I'm so broke, I never have any money, right?

But these things actually have power over us and over our lives more than we give them credit for.

So that's what we're going to dig into.

In Proverbs 23:7 says, for as he thinks in his heart, so he is okay.

And then Romans 12:2 says, Let me get to that.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is.

His good, pleasing and perfect will.

And that's the thing about our thoughts, is sometimes we don't really realize the power they have over our lives.

Look, you know, also in the Bible it talks about that the, the tongue, right, has the power of life or death.

Like, you know, what we speak.

All right, so in Mark Patterson's book I was just referencing, he also says, look, he doesn't know what we do for a living, but we are all prophets.

He says, your words matter, your words carry weight.

You have the power to speak life or speak death.

And he says, could I be so bold as to hyphen your occupation?

I don't care what you do.

You're a doctor prophet, a teacher prophet, a barista prophet, an Uber driver prophet.

The same is true of parents.

Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the destinies of their children.

And then he says, he also explains to us that in Hebrew, derogatory speech that damages another person is forbidden.

And it says, it's called letters leshon hara.

And he says the first instance of this happened when the serpent slandered the goodness of God in the Garden of Eden.

And then he says the spy spies who brought back a negative report of the promised land were guilty of lashan hara.

They spoke words against God and the entire nation lost heart.

In other words, he says their negativity cost them an entire generation.

So our words matter.

This is hard in our culture to remember.

And look, I'm going to be the first to admit that sometimes I have spoken words that are not life giving.

I have sometimes spoken words not meaning to, but over when I was frustrated or upset that I know looking back, we're not godly, we're not given in a loving way, right?

Because I, I allowed myself to get irritated or impatient or fed up to the point where I burst something out of my mouth that I can't take back.

So I have been here, I've walked this.

And I will also be the first to admit that, yes, I have, have, and still sometimes, you know, say, you know, a word that maybe I wish I didn't say.

I am surely far from imperfect.

And whether you're somebody that has, has really worked hard to master the words that come out of your mouth, where this is still, like me, something that you're working on, it's something that we do.

We have to write, as it says in the Bible, put a guard on our mouth.

Like what, what we speak over others, over ourselves.

What we speak of God, what we speak of life, of circumstances, it matters.

And we want to dig in.

I want to dig into this today.

Okay?

So the next thing is, we have to remember that it is our job to figure out how to take our thoughts captive.

Right?

And so the next scripture we'll look at today is 2 Corinthians 10:5, which says, we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take.

Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

And so once again, we want to take our thoughts captive, but we want to take them captive so that we continue to try to speak life into the world, speak life into other people.

We want to speak how God wants us to speak in the world, right?

So the.

Love your sa.

Love your neighbor as yourself to.

To praise and give thanks and honor and glory to God.

This is how he wants us to be speaking.

This is how he wants us to be thinking.

So if our mind is filled with other things and if we continue to spend time dwelling on other things, it's going to consume us, which will consume our thoughts.

And there's actual data now, not just in the Bible that says, you know, what we think, you know, the.

What I just shared.

For as he thinks in his heart, so he is truly our thoughts form who we are at this moment.

Right?

Our thoughts directly impact our physical and mental health as well.

So it goes beyond our spiritual health.

They have shown that negativity, actually.

And then having negative thoughts about your health outcome, right?

If you're walking through a diagnosis or cancer or something, people that have a positive outlook, positive thoughts and a belief and a hope that they'll get better, those.

Those people have better health outcomes than people that are pessimistic and negative and listen to the wh, ifs, but in a negative way.

And then there's lots of data and there's a really good book called when the Body says no by Gabor Mate.

He's a doctor, but he basically explains it.

Different traits, like, I don't know that he calls them personality traits, but basically different ways that people handle things and perceive things in the world.

There's different types.

There's like an A type, A B and a C type.

And if you repress and suppress your me.

Your feelings and emotions, like you never really express what you really feel, those people tend to get certain types of chronic diseases more so than the type that has a healthy way of expressing themselves and dealing with, you know, what They've walked through.

And then there's the people that they are seeming to be angry or frustrated and they, they're, they're almost so emotional, but it's like they don't quite know how to handle all of it.

That's a different type.

And those people tend to more often than not get a different type of chronic illness.

And so yes, it's not in and of just the thoughts in the patterns that cause it, but it is one more indicator, it is one more pattern that puts people in a more likely position for their body to be in an unhealthy state.

Also, they've shown that people that often have a long term diagnosis, right, a chronic illness, autoimmune, in some cases, cancer, in some cases, people are holding on to something, an identity that's not of Christ, meaning they're holding on to a lot of anger or resentment or trauma or unforgiveness.

And so once again, I am not saying because you have those things, you'll get this other thing.

What I'm saying is holding on to that negativity in your body is toxic to your body, right, and to your mental health.

And so go and read that book, it's a really good book, but there's lots of other books about that.

And then in the book Revealing the Healer, which is about divine healing, they talk about a lot of miraculous healings, but they also talk about sometimes people aren't healed, you know, and one, we do not know God's timing or his will, but we can definitely ask and believe for healing.

But they explain in the book, some people, they may not say this, but they may be holding on to that identity of their sickness.

And so once again, we want to be careful how we speak about ourselves and how we speak of our conditions.

We don't want to speak life draining or life harmful things over our lives.

I did a great podcast interview with Dr. Pete Sulek in November and he healed himself.

He was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer and given a 1% chance to live.

And four months after going all in on prayer and faith and targeted supplements and all the other health things that he did, he was given a all clear of no brain cancer present.

Amen.

But the reason I bring that example up is he continued, like so many other people that have battled cancer or other diagnosis, they spoke God's word, God's promises of healing over their lives.

They believed that their body could do what God says it does, which is we can be healed.

So in other words, instead of believing that he was Going to die and focusing on that and focusing on like I only have a 1% chance.

He said, no, no, that is not what I am going to.

I'm not taking that, those words and allowing them to seep into my soul, into my spirit, into my thoughts.

I am going to take my thoughts captive and I am going to replace it with God's word.

This is what we're talking about today.

This matters.

Your words matter, okay?

And so I'm not saying it's easy, but we can replace our thoughts and our words and our, the types of thinking.

We have those patterns.

But it takes time, it takes effort.

So for some of us, it's going to be slowly starting to write down what are these things that you keep thinking or saying about yourself, about your circumstances, about other people?

Write it down.

Like start keeping a journal or a log because you'll start seeing repeat patterns.

What are the words you're saying either subconsciously or out loud?

Write them down.

Because once we figure out what we're speaking and saying, we can start then trying to replace it with God's truth.

We can replace it with other things that breathe life into our words and into our thoughts instead of breathing death into those things.

And so that's one thing you can do.

Another thing is start consuming things that are life giving.

So for instance, what you look at and what you fill yourself up with, you're going to like make yourself think about those things more.

And then what you look for, you find more of.

It's like if you are in a relationship or in a marriage.

Look, we, if you've been married, I've been married 27 years, been with my husband over 30, you know, dating, in the marriage.

There, there's always going to be things in a marriage like that.

You know, when you're with somebody for a long time, there's compromise, there's going to be disagreements, there's things.

But we can either look and start focusing on the nitpick things or we can look at the one thing that they said or that upset us.

Or we can realize, okay, well, I didn't like that.

But you know what, look at these other hundred things that my spouse does so well and that I love about them.

We can start speaking life over our spouse, over our marriage because it's good.

It doesn't mean it's perfect, but it's good, right?

Or we can start festering on the one little thing and don't be wrong.

Marriage is so much more complicated than that.

But my point is, what are we focusing on?

And what are we speaking into ourselves, into our relationships with family members, with friends, with our spouses?

What are we speaking into of our careers or our finances?

So our health, every aspect of our life matters.

What we say about it intuit and what we think.

And so it might be that you need to write down the things that you want to speak into your life about those areas of your life.

Especially if there's an area that you've, you realize now that you have been saying things that you don't actually want to be in your life, you've been saying those things over a part of your life.

That's probably the first place to start, start replacing it.

Let's say that even with, with your body, maybe you're not where you want to be, right?

Physically in some way, maybe you want to be stronger or you'd like to lose a couple pounds, whatever it might be.

Well, let's not speak negative over our bodies because we all have beautiful capable bodies, at least most of us, right?

Some of us may have ailments that don't allow us to do those things, but man, if we are lucky enough to have hands that we can use and legs that let us walk and all of these things, let's talk about how amazing we are.

Yes, maybe we want to lose another 10 pounds, but we don't have to say that negatively, right?

We can be like, my body is so strong and it is amazing what it can do and I am just working to make it even more strong or beautiful or capable so that as I get older I can do all the things with myself, spouse or my grandkids, right?

So in other words, let's not focus on something negative about ourselves.

Let's focus on the change we want to have happen, but in a, a light that makes it life giving, not life draining or, or, or worse.

Great.

Mark Batterson says this, okay, all of us have said things we regret.

Beating yourself up over it won't make it better.

But I would recommend an honest, honest evaluation.

Sorry.

Of your words.

What would a transcript of your conversation say about you?

Are there any words that need to be deleted from your vocabulary?

Is there a body posture you need to change?

How about tone?

One small change could alter the trajectory of your life.

And he said, remember my confession in the introduction.

I was using negative words with a high degree of frequency and they were becoming self fulfilling prophecies.

I was committing lashawn Hara against myself.

If you struggle with negative self self talk, give yourself a gag order.

And then he says, let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word, nor unwholesome or worthless talk ever come out of your mouth.

But only such speech as good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion that may be a blessing and give grace to those who hear it.

Which is from the Bible, I don't know which version.

And then I'll just say this, what he says about it.

It's time to take inventory.

Are your words reconciling or dividing?

Are your words encouraging or discouraging?

Are your words helpful or hurtful?

Are your words blessings, blessing or curse?

And so that is the thing, friends.

We have to just really think about how we're speaking to ourselves, how we're speaking to others, how we're speaking about God, and how we're speaking about our lives.

It matters.

And if we want to change our lives, the easiest way to do that is by changing our words.

So our words and our thoughts, I should say.

All right, as I wrap up, I just want to share a couple little tidbits from that book, please.

Sorry.

Thanks.

Mark Batterson saying he was sharing about that season of his life where he realized he was really using negative words to speak over himself.

Right?

Like what was going on.

And he says by emphasizing how hard leadership was during that season, I was making it harder than it had to be.

My words became a self fulfilling prophecy that reinforced a vicious cyclonegativity.

The same thing happens when you complain about people behind their backs, which was a second revelation.

Want to change the dynamic?

You flip the script by catching people doing things right, then bragging about them behind their backs.

If you want to change your attitude, you have to change your words.

I actually have one last thing to share with you that I wasn't planning on sharing, but I just saw this as I talked about earlier, about the connection between our thoughts and what we speak to ourselves and how it impacts our body.

I have another, I guess research or data point to share with you on that.

Harvard affiliated labs had basically studied the connection of this.

It was research in the psychoneuroimmunology, but it basically shows that our body reacts to our inner voice as if it's coming from someone else.

So the study goes on to show that supportive self talk like you're safe, you're healing, lowers stress signals, improves emotional regulation and reduces inflammation over time.

And this one post goes on to say it isn't mindset magic, it's biology.

When fear drops, cortisol drops blood flow, improves immune function, works better.

So basically every Thought leaves a biochemical trace.

And so it says self kindness isn't just mental, it's physical.

Your body hears everything your mind says.

So it basically says a new study shows that talking to your body can change your health faster than supplements.

At Harvard Medical School, a team that was studying that psychoneuroimmunology ran an experiment and basically they had volunteers speak to their bodies and then they measured the drop in inflammation markers.

And the people that said the kind things you did, well today you're healing, you're safe.

They found that when words reduce fear, cortisol drop blood flow, improves immune cells repair faster.

Your body listens to tone before it listens to data.

And it said, one patient with chronic pain said for the first time I told my body thank you instead of sorry.

Within days, her muscle tension dropped by half.

Gratitude turned off her alarm system.

The doctor said she stopped fighting her body and it stopped fighting back.

And they say researchers call it effective signaling.

The nervous system treats inner speech like sound waves from someone else.

So every insult, every silent I'm sorry, even silent lands chemically real self kind I'm sorry lands chemically real self kindness isn't psychology, it's neurobiology.

And so anyways, I already shared with you that it said your body, here's everything your mind says.

And then they say maybe the most powerful medicine isn't found, it's spoken.

And so guys, if you want to change your life, as I said before, or change your body, your mental health, your physical health, we have, or change your life right, your circumstances, you have to start speaking life into yourself, speaking kindness to yourself, speaking love to yourself, speaking those promises and blessings that God says in the Bible.

Speak those over your life.

Speak healing over your life, God, you know, there's so many examples in the Bible of Jesus healing and that we're promised that too.

So keep speaking that into your life instead of the diagnosis or how bad you feel or all the hard things you're walking through, yes, you might be walking through those and you can pray for help in those areas.

You can go and reach out to friends for help.

But we don't want to focus on the hard and the negative and the, the things that are harmful or harsh to us.

We want to focus on the life giving words and things that we're speaking and thinking to ourself, even the ones that no one else can hear.

So that's it.

I wanted to share that with you because once again, it's just another example of how science continues to prove what the Bible already says and tells us how to speak to ourselves.

All right.

I hope today's episode just reminds you of how powerful your words and thoughts are and how much they impact the world that you see your reality, but also impact the life you're living and your mind.

Body or mind?

Yeah, mind, body and spirit.

All right, so I also want to remind you, if you haven't already joined my community, head over to KristinFitch.com and and a perfect download, if you haven't grabbed it already, is my Joy Rising worksheet.

It's basically a daily gratitude worksheet, but beyond gratitude.

It lets you reflect on where was God present in your day to day or where was he moving in your life.

And then it also has you recognize where were there parts or moments of joy in your life.

Right.

The God fruit of the spirit joy.

And when we focus on those things, just like we talked about today, we're going to reap more of that.

We're going to see more of that because that's what we have our eyes set on.

So like I said, go to KristinFitch.com, go to my workbook section and you can grab the Joy Rising download.

If you enjoyed today's episode, if you could leave a rating review on Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts, it helps the show get discovered by more people so that we can continue to to uplift and encourage people in their faith journey as well as all of the other parts of their lives.