00:00:06 Sana: This is quite moment most of us know. Maybe it's late at night. Maybe it's in the shower where you are doing fine on the outside, but inside you are tired. You're frustrated of being at war with your own mind. And the hard part is, nobody teaches you what to do with that. You are told to be confident. You are told to be brave. Be positive. Just try harder. Just keep pushing on. But if it were that simple, you would have fixed it already. On the

00:00:42 Sana: mindful living, we don't do quick fixes listeners. We do real humans. We talk about the inner world, thoughts, identity, fear, faith, relationships and how do people actually change. And today, today's guest works with youth and young adults. And what stood out to me is this listeners. He doesn't just motivate. He focuses on helping people see themselves differently. Because when there's a shift in our identity, our choices shift, and when choices shift, life starts to follow. So we are definitely going to talk about mindfulness, but more about self belief, limiting mindsets. Relationship and yes, faith, including what it means to be a believer in Christ and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. So, listeners, let's welcome our guest, Braden Black. Braden, welcome to The Mindful Living, and I'm really glad you are here.

00:01:49 Brayden Black: Thank you. I'm glad to be here, too. I'm looking forward to it.

00:01:52 Sana: Absolutely. Braden. So before, uh, before we, move further into, you know, discussing about all these aspects and mindfulness. Um, you have said that you don't just inspire people for a moment. You help them see themselves differently. And it's it's a big claim, honestly. So, um, going to the root here. How did you get into what you're doing? You know, not the polished version but the real. Mhm. Yeah.

00:02:26 Brayden Black: So I somebody did struggle a lot with identity and confidence in high school and in my earlier years, and it took me a couple of years to work through some of those things. But I had a I was in university and I had a friend of mine who I worked with. He said, Brayden you should take his coaching class. It will. It's like it's only two credits. Like it's not that hard, but it like it changed my life. So you should take it. So I said okay, and I did. And I've never used a class outside of class except for that one every day. And because it's just all relational in that you interact and listen to people and, and work with them and engage with them. And so I took that class and then a couple of months later, got hired as a coach for the same professor teacher, that cops do work as a coach, and so ever since then, it's been a journey of day working for other people as coaches and then going on my own journey of self discovery. Because as a coach, you learn a lot about yourself too, at the same time when you're coaching other people. And so it was cool to start there. And then I branched out and started doing my own thing. And now we're we're just really trying to get it out there to as many people as possible.

00:04:00 Sana: Well, it's very interesting. And I don't know, I mean, I may be wrong, but what I feel is, um, yes, it's not always that you go with the flow. I mean, different things work out for different people in a different way. But then, you know, sometimes and this is something my father also very strongly believes that sometimes, um, you know, God may speak To someone else, or he may come in a different form and maybe help you in identifying your purpose or your path that you maybe were destined, or maybe you even realize, but you were definitely set for that path. And maybe God sometimes also speak to yourself. So that is something where I feel, you know, kind of, uh, here happened, you know, when your friend told, okay, try out this coaching class and then, uh, try out this class and how it worked out for you. That's very interesting. and, did you have, like, an internal, um, maybe like a personal problem? Like, how did you understand what exactly was taught in that class? Did you identify that? Yes. This is something. What is happening with me? Or. I have seen people suffering like, you know, uh, like living when your mind is loud and fear. You're mostly driven by fear. Like what? What was going on in your mind at that time when you attended that class?

00:05:38 Brayden Black: Yeah. I began to notice thought patterns and victim mindsets that were prevalent for me and for so many other people. And there's a principle called reframing. That is my favorite thing to do with clients. And people that I coach now is how do you change your view from seeing one story or belief to another one? And so because there's always more than one option, but if you only believe there's one option, then you're being a victim to your circumstances. There's always more than one way to look at something. And so from the class I started noticing that there are there are an infinite number of ways to look at the same situation. To give you an example, that's why gratitude is so powerful. You can take two people in the same circumstance, and one chooses to be grateful and one chooses to not be. Two completely different people. Same circumstance though, but one looked at their situation differently. And so I began to notice that you could change how you did that, and began to do a lot of introspective stuff in the class. And one other thing I'll throw in there too is so as a coach, I don't give a lot of advice, which most people think I would, you know, as a coach, you're going to tell me what to do. Like, no, that's more of like a therapist role for me personally as a coach, I believe that you are the expert about you. I just help you to get to the bottom of the root of what you, deep down, actually know you need to do, and then help you to be able to get there. So. because I don't give a lot of advice. Here's the thing we love giving advice because it feels good to know that our potentially what we've shared with somebody helped them, because it helps us feel like the credit and the praise and like we were worth something. So that was really hard in the beginning, because I realized that it's not about me and it's not about giving advice, it's just about helping the person to discover what actually they need to do, which puts a lot of less credit on you. So you have to do a lot of deep work and saying like, it's not about me. I don't need the praise and the validation. I can give that to myself because I believe in who I already am. So those are a couple of things that were cool for me to learn as I started this kind of journey of self-discovery through coaching.

00:08:12 Sana: And then kind of the core in there, you know, especially when we talk about coaching or mentoring that, um, it's not about, uh. And yes, you're right. I mean, in fact, I'll be very, um. Guilty as charged that, you know, I also love to advise people or suggest, but then many a times I find it so conflicting when I think about myself. Is this the same thing that I would do for me as well? Because, you know, as the proverb is practice before you preach.

00:08:44 Brayden Black: Mhm.

00:08:46 Sana: Makes sense. Makes sense. Okay. Moving on. Um, you talk a lot about this and this is I think um, it's, it's very important, um, about separating who you are from fear, past mistakes and limiting beliefs. Um, so if, uh, someone is listening and they don't feel in control, um, what's what's one thing? Uh, maybe, you know, they can practice. Maybe for seven days. That would prove to them that, you know, they have more agency, not control. They have more agency than they think. And this is not that, you know, just one do this one single thing and everything will be sorted out, but maybe something that you can extract from your own experiences.

00:09:39 Brayden Black: So what I would do, I'm a big proponent for writing writing things down because it helps. It helps beliefs become more ingrained in the mind quicker. So what I would do is I would tell anybody that feels trapped, or like they're in a situation where they don't know, or they feel stuck or hard to get out of a certain spot. I would write down at first the thought, because here's a hot take of mine people don't have fears, they have thoughts. So for people that feel stuck in fear, it's because they're stuck in their thoughts. And so we need to work on the thought. So from that, what I would have everybody do is I would write down the fear or in other words, the thought. Why is the thought that's giving you an emotional reaction, which is fear? So take a step back and realize, like I. Will say it will say disbelief. If somebody feels. It won't work out. People have a fear. People often say, I have a fear that it won't work out. Yeah, but it's no, it's actually a thought that says it won't work out. And that thought produces an emotional response of fear. So what I would have everybody do is I would write down What all their fears are. Or list of thoughts. And I would go through and challenge that thinking. And I would say give me some other possibilities. That could be true. Because you're right. Your brain is saying that in this case it won't work out. But do you know the future? And if you answer no to that question, which everybody should answer no to that question, then that gives you the freedom and the ability to believe a different thought or a different way of thinking. So it won't work out. Give me some other possibilities. Other potential scenarios that could also be true. It may work out. It may work out better than I had imagined. Because here's the thing we don't know the future. So that gives you the liberty to choose which one you want to believe. But it's not just whoop dee doo. La la land. Like, I'm going to believe the positive thought every time. The next step is, I want you to write down a list of reasons to support why the positive thoughts are true. It could be stories. It could be experiences. It could be anything to support why those beliefs are true. And that's just not positive thinking. Whoop dee doo. Mindset. That's intelligent thinking because you're giving your brain a reason to support why it thinks the way that it does. And so if you can go through and examine and do that with the list of thoughts that you have, that's a great place that I would start from.

00:13:12 Sana: It is it isn't. Also believe that it gives you that much needed clarity. especially for me. Um, I mean, I'll be very honest that, you know, sometimes I do journal, but then it's not. I mean, for me, it's still a work in progress. But then when I do write down, you know, for example, when there are moments when I have so much to tend to, um, where I have a lot of, you know, situations happening, why is this happening? How can I solve this? What exactly is pending for me? Writing. And it's not even the digital writing, just a simple blank paper and a pen that that feels really, really therapeutic. It helps me a lot. It gives me that calmness, that much needed calmness, and it brings me to the present and may not have the answers to all the questions or maybe solutions or way out, but then at least I know No, I acknowledge that. Yes, this is what it is. But then let's not drive. Or let's not have fear be the driving factor behind all those decisions or actions or outputs. Super. Um, Braden, um, let's go broader. Like, you know, let's talk about the limiting mindset here. Um, we talked you touched a bit about the victim mindset. Um, but then what mindsets do you think are the most limiting, most common among, um, among people today? You know, especially young adults, maybe the Gen Gen Zs and, you know.

00:15:00 Brayden Black: Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. I have a list for you. Here are my my top ten victim mindset either questions or mindsets. Are you ready for them? Yeah. Okay. Why is this happening to me? Hmm? Why am I so behind? I can't change or this is who I am. I don't have time. It won't work. I missed my chance. The what if question.

00:15:48 Sana: Hmm.

00:15:48 Brayden Black: I don't know what to do. What's wrong with me? And it's because of them that I feel this way. Those are the most common popular victim mentality questions and mindsets that I see A lot of people struggling.

00:16:16 Speaker 3: It is. It is.

00:16:17 Sana: Especially, I think, to begin with, the first one itself. Why is this happening to me? We all kind of. I am also guilty that I keep on, um, sometimes, you know, telling this out loud. Or maybe it goes, uh, in my, on my mind that why all this is happening to me? What I've done, what wrong I have done? Um, why I am I behind is something that is more towards the comparison. Um, I would call it syndrome because, um, you know, at a certain stage and I may not have a very good idea about the young adults, but then at least for me, you know, sometimes when I, um, maybe revisit my, uh, school friends or college friends, um, maybe not blaming social media, but just, you know, um, maybe updates or whatever they are doing. And I see that they may be more, um, prosperous or super high achieving or having a lot of good time. Sometimes my inner critique, it pinpoints, why am I behind, why am I here, where I am, what is the reason? And then it kind of, you know, follows with all those questions about a specific decision. Why did I take that decision? What was wrong with me at that time? Yes, it is because of that decision, or because of them, or because of that person that I'm behind. So it kind of, you know, uh, it's a cascading effect.

00:17:57 Speaker 4: Yeah, totally.

00:18:01 Sana: And, um. Which one do you see as the most dangerous? Because, you know, it would look normal, like people, you know, don't even realize it's controlling them.

00:18:14 Brayden Black: Um. They're all dangerous in their own way.

00:18:21 Speaker 3: Okay.

00:18:22 Speaker 5: But.

00:18:31 Sana: I think it.

00:18:32 Brayden Black: Is. So it depends. It depends on what kind of dangerous you're talking. Is it dangerous in comparison to others? Is it dangerous in that it limits myself from going out and making changes? Is it. Is it dangerous in the fact that, like, I can't, like, decide what to do or move forward? So there's a lot there. They're each dangerous for their own reasons.

00:19:01 Speaker 3: Mhm.

00:19:03 Sana: They are, they are. And I also I feel if I can add on to it it's this most of these questions don't even come into our mind. You know, when everything is going good. And that is something very natural. When everything is going good, we feel, oh my goodness, I'm on top of the world. Everything is fine. We don't. We wouldn't even, um, be, uh, thankful at that moment or during that phase. But then things when they may go out of control, when you know you're having challenges every minute, every second you feel like why everything is going bad. I think then when this loop of questioning, uh, starts within our mind, why is this happening to me? Maybe we are blaming God. We are blaming our parents. We are blaming our friends or blaming myself ourself. I think that's when and that's when we once again, kind of, you know, um, yeah, we have to do an assessment of why is it happening or what are the reasons. But then at the same time, we we kind of don't realize that, you know, uh, maybe there is something good in this, uh, maybe in, in this particular situation, maybe it's giving me this particular indication, maybe this is a nudge or a signal for me because some of the most, uh, inspiring transitions, you know, because when I sit with, uh, all of the guests on these podcasts, some of the most inspiring transitions have come out of those darkest or lowest moments. You know, when you feel like either you're physically not having your control, you're not physically yourself, you're not mentally yourself, or maybe you're at your lowest spiritual frequency. So that's what I feel, I think.

00:21:00 Brayden Black: Yeah, I would agree, I one hundred percent agree with that. It's very easy to think good thoughts. When things are going good. But where the actual victor and victory mindset comes through and if you are able to have it ingrained in you, is to be able to think and believe in a victor or victory mindset when everything seems to be going wrong.

00:21:29 Speaker 3: Hmm.

00:21:31 Sana: And I also want to add here one more aspect. Yes. I mean, I also believe that, you know, you are in control of your circumstances, not the other way around. But then, I mean, it is empowering. But then, um, I also worry about how that lands for someone who may be dealing with real trauma, maybe systemic issues, maybe mental health, serious mental health struggles, like where's the line between empowerment and then blaming people for what they are going through.

00:22:08 Brayden Black: That's a great question. I don't excuse any. Any sort of system in the mind that maybe is gone wrong. Whether we struggle with bipolar or serious diagnosed depression or anxiety or any of those serious complications. Those are serious and they need to be treated properly. But what I do believe, though, is to be honest to heart and take a lot of the time the medical system, they give us a pill and it makes us feel good. But as soon as we go off of it, we go right back. So there must be something wrong there because. If it's not fixing it, but it's just providing a temporary solution. What would happen if somebody actually spent as much time and money working on themselves and their thought patterns? As much as they did on prescription medications.

00:23:12 Speaker 3: Mm.

00:23:13 Brayden Black: I don't. I don't know what would happen, but I have a good feeling about what would. They may not see immediate results. And again, I do not negate or dismiss what people are going through because it's serious. And there are biological things that people are more predisposed to and make it very hard, especially with mental health. And so if you need to seek medical help and get on some stuff to make you like kind of get you in a good place where you can start working on yourself so that you don't have to live on them forever. I see that as a win. If those are things that really just can't be changed by working in self development, and those are things that you're naturally just going to always have a part of you and you need medications and whatnot to help support you with that. Great. That's okay. But if there are things where if people are to invest as much time and money and effort as they do into a pill, I think we'd have a lot less people in the medical system.

00:24:25 Speaker 3: Mm. Not make.

00:24:28 Sana: Sense? Absolutely. Makes sense. Um, and it absolutely matters because, um, irrespective of the medical aspect, I think, um, even, in fact, you know, mindfulness or all the conversations around it, um, I think it's not ignoring reality, but it's more about, um, meeting reality without surrendering your identity to it, without giving away your power, your agency to it. Super Braydon, before we wrap up, I have to. Um. Of course I have. I want to go into this part of your identity, and it might be new for some listeners. Um, how come you are a believer in Christ and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints? I mean, asking this neutrally, not as an endorsement or maybe a debate. More like, you know what? What did it give you that you couldn't find elsewhere?

00:25:41 Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:25:42 Brayden Black: Thank you for asking that question. I, I love that and I love that this is a space to be able to share that I, I believe, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, that God has restored his his New Testament church on the earth with the same authority and structure and priesthood keys and power to delegate and run his church now. And I'm very grateful for a system and a place that goes out with a mission to support and help other people around the world. I, I believe in in living in modern day prophets, and I believe in ongoing revelation and what that that God and Jesus Christ, they still speak to us today through prophetic individuals, just like he did in the old and the New Testament. And for me, what my faith is given to me is a really solid, concrete structure of how to live my life in a way that brings me into a closer relationship with God. I think a lot of the times many people are set on and respected them that do this because, you know, it's like, well, like to at least believe in God is like a great start. And, you know, like props to you because there are a lot of people that don't. And I think a lot of the time that I had this idea, even myself, is that the goal was just kind of to just get to heaven or a place outside of this physical realm. But as I've gone on, I think God wants more to get heaven into us and have us be changed. And to me and my faith and what it does is it allows me through the making of covenants and promises and and religious practices. It brings heaven into me, it brings heaven down. And it's created here. And it teaches me how to live like God and how to be in a relationship with him. When John seventeen says, and this is life eternal, that they might know thee. Its eternal life that we might know them have a relationship with them. And to me, in my faith, it's really helped me grow and develop a relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. So thank you for for asking that question. I love that, and I love that we can all share and have open dialogues and share. We believe what things that come from. Why our faith is so important and special. Uh, so what it does for us. So thank you for giving me an opportunity to share that.

00:28:48 Speaker 3: Absolutely.

00:28:49 Sana: And I also agree with you. Um, and this is not anything specific about religion, but because, you know, for me as well, I may not identify myself as a super. As you know, people would like to give as a label here. But then what I believe is that faith. Faith, it isn't a label. It's it's an anchor. Like, you know, it gives us that hope and strength. And you are absolutely right that you know it. It gives us that, um, that sense of belongingness and that realization that, yes, heaven is within me. And, um, I mean, for me, it's it's hope. I mean, even if things are going in favor of me or things are great, I'll be still be thankful that you know it's going good even if things go completely or I or, uh, I'm. Nothing is in my control. I would still, in my worst of the moments, still go back in my mind and go back to God. And, you know, seek for strength to at least, you know, um, navigate through it. So because there's definitely good learning, great learning from those worst moments as well. And I think that gives you an immense strength and hope to keep going on. And it's not about that. You have to keep going on and on and on and on without even analyzing and just being numb. But at least it gives you that sense of coming back to present and, um, you know, returning to what's true when life gets loud. So.

00:30:45 Speaker 3: Totally super.

00:30:47 Sana: Super. Uh, so, um, I'm very sure our listeners will have lots, maybe thoughts or opinions to share, uh, about what we discussed, what we talked about today. Or maybe they would like to connect with you. Explore about the work that you are doing. What would be the easiest way for them to reach out to you?

00:31:10 Brayden Black: My most popular form of communication and just where people can reach out to me is Instagram. So if listeners want to go check it out, just underscore Braden Dot black and people feel free to shoot me a DM or a message. And if people reach out and want to have questions or get coached, I'll always respond.

00:31:35 Speaker 3: So amazing.

00:31:38 Sana: So, listeners, um, you heard it from Braden. I'll make sure to have, uh, all the links, all the details mentioned into the show notes. Feel free to reach out to Braden and connect with him on Instagram. Follow him in there. And, uh, if you are listening and something, something in this conversation hit a nerve, Of just take a breath with me for a second, because sometimes the most mindful thing you can do is admit I have been trying to survive my own mind. And what I am taking from today is this that you don't have to wait until you feel fearless to change. You start buying seeing by seeing yourself clearly, separating your identity from your fear, and then then maybe practicing one small action that proves you have agency. Maybe it's journaling, maybe it's writing. It's it's breathwork, meditation or praying. So do everyone listening. If this episode gave you language for something you have been carrying, share it with a friend who's quietly struggling. And if you want more conversations like this, then follow the mindful living. Until next time I am Sana and take care of your inner world. It is where your life is being built. Thank you.