Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

on this beautiful journey called life. First and foremost, I want

to thank my latest supporter here, he bought me 25 coffees,

such a generous gesture. And I sure couldn't sleep last night

because I had so many coffees, I had them all at once. I've had a

extremely stressful week last week. And to wake up to this

message that somebody had bought me coffees, and not only one or

two, but 25. And the words that went with it. The words that

email the message said Aurora, your voice is important. Thank

you for all your work, keep up the good work was just so

incredibly rewarding, and so well timed. So thank you. Thank

you, thank you. I don't know, if you want me to mention your name

here. I will keep you anonymous for now. Until I get a thumbs

up. You're incredible. I'm grateful to have you here on

this journey. With me. Today, I want to talk about how peace,

patience and Tennessee, go out the window. Once we get stressed

out. Sometimes it's just one of those three things that we

decide to engage in, not engage in. And sometimes it's all of

the above. And why is it important to talk about this?

And why is it important to know about how we deal with stress

how our environment, the people around us deal with stress. That

is what I want to talk about today, if you are a new

listener, or if you just started out listening to my podcast

recently, please know that we are on say season seven. And

this podcast is a build up. So to say it's a progress. So in

season one, you get to know yourself and season two, it's

still getting to know yourself, but also other people. And then

throughout season three and five, I have interviews with

very inspiring and empowering people who went through

adversity. And if you start from the beginning and get to season

seven till season 734. Now I know that you will go through

change and progress and growth for the better. So I encourage

you to go back if you haven't done that already. And maybe you

want to do it over the winter months, when it's dark and cold.

And you just want to spend time with me and reflect and connect

with yourself and make better decisions in life. I feel if we

were all to feel better in our skin. We would be better people.

And not with big effort we'd be so awesome and inspiring others

supporting others. And wouldn't then our society be more

resilient to stress and more authentic. I strongly believe so

that's why I'm here. That's why I'm building my business. I'm

growing my business for you. Right now. I'm building retreats

center, a location for you to come and connect with me in

person. I'm going to host men's circle. I'm going to host human

circle. If there is demand, I'm going to host women's circle.

But the workshops that I'm creating and hosting are always

going to be welcoming for everybody. Because I see no

point in hosting women's circle where we talk about how awful

men are. That's my experience so far. And I got out of this

workshop feeling so weird and it's been three years ago COVID

was in between but now I feel the urge to connect, and to

create something where we could come together where we can learn

to understand each other, where we can make sense of our anger

or sadness, or depression, or frustration, and move forward as

a whole as a team and not make it not separating men and women

that makes absolutely no point for me. No sense to me because

we're together in this and we have to grow strong together and

not separately. Alright, I'm going to stop with my rant here.

I have a beautiful juicy pineapple and papaya sitting in

front of me that I'm going to indulge in after I recorded this

podcast for you. So I'm unmotivated to get into today's

episode. Patience, peace, intimacy, go out the window,

when we get stressed out, at least this is how it is for me.

Don't try to hug me or kiss me, or make love to me as my

partner. If I'm stressed out, I don't want this. And in the

past, I was the kind of person who actually needed intimacy and

sex to get stress out of my system. But for some weird

reason, the older I get, the different it becomes. And I can

deeply relate to people nowadays who say, Well, when I'm stressed

out, sex intimacy is the very last thing I want to think

about. So if you are that kind of person, keep listening if you

are the other kind of person, also keep listening because it

might help you to understand your partner better. When it

comes to patience, holy shit. Yeah, when should go sideways,

when I have carefully prepared for something anticipated. And

stuff goes different ways, especially not in desired

directions. I become very short. I'm kind of like a highly

explosive bomb, when things are not progressing. In a project.

Or when people when I feel people are, you know, careless,

not caring. When they don't have a sense of urgency for the

matter, then impatience is a big thing. And of course, with

impatience and intimacy going out the window. Peace is gone

from the surface of auroras life, there is no peace, my

brain is in constant problem solving mode. And unless you

want to problem solve with me together, and get this project

done, or address these issues right away, please stay out of

my life. That's the way I'm wired. And I know it is not

great. I will need in the future to keep my cool to communicate

clearly. And also trust a little more. I also want to be more

careful with who I ask for help or who I let get involved in my

business. I have to be, you know, more specific and more

careful in costing the people that I want on board, or the

people that I do not want on board. So maybe you can relate

to that maybe you are a business owner and entrepreneur, a farmer

or rancher, a hairdresser. Maybe you sell goods, maybe you sell

services, maybe you work in retail, maybe you are a parent,

organizing your family. You're not only entertaining and making

sure that everything is in place and clean. But you also have to

work on logistics you also have to keep up with books. So

wherever you come from, I feel there will be stressful

situations where we need to remind ourselves on how

important it is to keep our patients and check or our

impatience how to protect our peace and to allow intimacy in a

steady way. I used to think that it's way easier to go through

stressful times by myself. So as a single, I always thought,

yeah, I can totally abuse harass myself. Now through this

situation, I don't have to be kind to anybody close by because

I'm single. I don't need to be intimidate, intimate with myself

that can wait. And I'm just going to push through this, I'm

going to basically bully myself through this stressful

situation. But it's not okay to do that to ourselves. It's

especially not okay to to that to other people. But it is also

not okay to deprive yourself of peace and intimacy, when you are

a singer. And maybe you can relate to that. Maybe I am onto

something right now, if you are a single, I want to ask you, how

intimate are you with yourself? And how abusive do you get with

yourself when life gets stressful, and especially if

you're the kind of single who's kind of sad and frustrated to be

single, you'd love to be in a relationship. But it's somehow

not working out, you're not meeting people, the people you

meet are boring, or not a good match. I want to tell you

something, if you keep abusing yourself like this, and if you

don't allow time for relaxation and intimacy with yourself. And

it doesn't mean masturbation. Yeah. Sometimes it's quite the

opposite. Sometimes we masturbate in a way that is very

destructive, and just, you know, a full on release, but it's it

has nothing to do with intimacy. You will not make space for a

person in your life. Right, you will overwork yourself, you will

be stressed out, you will be not you will be starved of intimacy.

And then once you meet a person, you're kind of totally burned

out, even though you put on makeup, or you put on your

nicest clothes and drive your best car or your best

motorcycle. But you will be so starved on an intimate level

that you can actually really intimidate other people by that.

And they will not want to connect with you on a deeper

level. Because they feel overwhelmed. And also, they feel

you would never make time for them because you're so extremely

busy. So what I always advise my single people out there who come

to my one on one coaching is that you have to start

pretending that there is a person in your life already. And

this person is you. And to not go over your limits and abuse

yourself all the time. But to take breaks to make a beautiful

meal at the end of the night or for lunch, to have a clean bed

to have a clean house and to do it for yourself. Because all

those excuses that we make that. Yeah, once I have a partner, I

am going to be intimate. Once I have a partner, I'm gonna work

less. But don't you see that you put a lot of pressure on their

partner that is supposed to come into your life and are you not

worthy enough to live a good life already without a partner?

I'm just asking you this and I want you to be radically honest,

if you burn yourself out now. If you are starved of intimacy,

it's going to be tough to invite a new person into your life

because you may underwhelm them or overwhelm them with your

needs if you don't meet them before you meet this person. Now

how can we make sure to stay patient to keep and protect our

peace and to be intimate with ourselves? No matter if we have

a partner or not. There is beautiful meditation practices.

There is beautiful bath soaps, right a relaxation bath is

wonderful to treat you Self to relaxation massage is wonderful

to massage yourself with a lotion or oil. It's incredibly

healing, and soothing. And you for you guys out there who roll

your eyes, be it girls or guys, try it out, make it a little

ritual after going into the shower to put some oil onto your

skin and see what happens. Because our body is being abused

most of the time at work. We're doing movements, we sit in

positions that are not awesome. And yeah, we go exercise and

move. But is it in a loving and caring way? And can you give

that to yourself first and then invite other people to add to

this so that you're not completely starved out when you

meet your next partner. And also for you, as a partner, if you

have a spouse, if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, can

you still take care of your physical needs first. And then

once you want to connect on a deeper level with your partner,

to invite them in and communicate with them what what

is it is that you like instead of having them doing all the

work and cleaning after your non commitment to self care, so to

say. So as a single right now, you could start already and

massage your feet, massage your legs, massage your arms. And if

you have the extra money, instead of spending spending it

on expensive TV, Netflix, Amazon, whatever is out there

for entertainment, maybe try it out for six months or so to

shift the money spending more into self care and helping your

nervous system to cool down. It will not only relax you from the

stress that you have right now, but it will also make you more

resilient for the future. And that's when you're not going to

need to lose your shit over stuff that goes sideways.

Because you will know okay, and habits. And I will catch myself

and I will communicate clearly to others and everything will

fall into place. So your investment in yourself in your

stress management through a coach and it doesn't have to be

me if there is a coach out there that you feel drawn to and know

that they could really help you then please reach out to them,

contact them and ask them for help. Because what a coach can

offer you is not just a short term solution. It is a long term

solution that they a good coach offers to you, which is life

changing. And he provides you with tools that you will have

for the rest of your life so that you can handle stressful

situations more gracefully. So intimacy is extremely important.

We are all sensual beings. I know there's women out there,

maybe men out there who said they don't need that. It's not

important. But I feel we need to talk about it more because we

all need it. But sometimes we just don't want to allow it.

It's a nuisance. It's it's tough to open up your heart once you

were bullying yourself for so long, and abusing yourself

through stressful situations. And then you also don't feel

like connecting with your partner when you are in a

relationship. Because you feel it's kind of dragging you into

the opposite direction of where you want to go. And I'm here to

remind you that this is wrong to do. You need to focus on staying

relaxed and being able to be intimate with yourself. And you

will not only serve yourself but the people around you as well.

When it comes to peace of mind, then it is really important to

find out how you can bring your nervous system down.

Not you know down low and to the pressure but to bring it back to

center so to say and to To be in a state of mind that is good to

be in, to not need Netflix or you know, all kinds of

entertainments porn to distract you, but to genuinely coming

back to center, again, meditation can help you. And if

you go through my season 123. And I think for maybe as well, I

have a couple meditations recorded for you. And also for

people who don't want to meditate, I was, for the longest

time, a very restless person. And I know what it feels like to

sit down and to do nothing. And I want to say, or I got the

feedback that I do it in a very entertaining and fun way to help

people calm their minds down. And if you have a question if

you want to, if you need more than don't hesitate to reach out

to me and I'll, I'll send you a personal meditation if you

wanted to, to help you come back to center to your peace and to

know that things will evolve, things will come back to normal

soon, but you got to do your part and keeping your cool. And

sometimes, from childhood on. We are used to throwing tantrums

and to become abusive with ourselves and with others. And

we think that's the only way we can rewire these neural pathways

and learn new ways to handle stress in a more graceful way in

a more productive way even where it still feels good. And I'll

centac But you will get more done. So I think I'm going to

leave you with that for now. If there's any add ons, additions,

questions, please never hold back. Contact me on Aurora

Eggert, Aurora coaching my two How do you say profiles I have

on Facebook and I'm going to connect with you gladly. I'm

going to leave you with that you are appreciated. You are loved.

If you listen to my podcast, I know you have a growth mindset.

I know you're there to change for the better. You want to heal

and move on and be your most authentic self so I got so much

respect for you. take really good care of yourself and I will