Megan Nilsen:

This journaling is for anyone who's hungry.

Megan Nilsen:

and curious to really be connected to God, to hear what he has to say.

Megan Nilsen:

Someone who really wants to live, by God's grace, by his love and by his guidance.

Megan Nilsen:

and someone who's like, but I'm not sure if I really know how to do that.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm not sure if I know how to hear his voice.

Megan Nilsen:

Does he really speak to me?

Megan Nilsen:

Um, uh,

Tim Winders:

How do you embrace the richness of life from Broadway tunes to

Tim Winders:

the depths of personal transformation while guiding others to discover their

Tim Winders:

own paths on today's episode of Seek, Go Create the Leadership Journey.

Tim Winders:

We welcome Megan Nielsen, a dynamic content creator, podcaster, life

Tim Winders:

coach, and author, passionately committed to helping others

Tim Winders:

live deeply connected lives.

Tim Winders:

Megan's life journey includes embracing her role as a mother, a wife, a

Tim Winders:

community leader, all while fostering deep connections through her love

Tim Winders:

for personality assessments, her work with Life Center Ethiopia, and her

Tim Winders:

service as an elder in her church.

Tim Winders:

Join us as Megan shares her insights on overcoming life's challenges.

Tim Winders:

The power of personal connections and how her faith has guided her

Tim Winders:

through significant life changes and into helping others navigate their

Tim Winders:

own spiritual and personal journeys.

Tim Winders:

Megan, welcome to Seek Go

Tim Winders:

Create.

Megan Nilsen:

you.

Megan Nilsen:

That sounds exciting.

Megan Nilsen:

I can't wait to listen to that interview.

Megan Nilsen:

Who is this person?

Tim Winders:

And, but you know, one of the things I just noticed as I

Tim Winders:

was going through this and we're going to kind of do some deep dive on

Tim Winders:

journaling and some things like that, but all that was woven into that.

Tim Winders:

But before we get rolling.

Tim Winders:

Other than what I just said, if someone asks you, it might

Tim Winders:

depend on where they are.

Tim Winders:

If someone asks you what you do, you're out and about or

Tim Winders:

something, what do you tell them?

Megan Nilsen:

Well it depends on whose perspective it is.

Megan Nilsen:

If you ask my kids, what do I do?

Megan Nilsen:

They would say she annoys me.

Megan Nilsen:

So there, there's that.

Megan Nilsen:

My kids are all between 17 and 23.

Megan Nilsen:

but I think the first thing that comes to my mind is that I just love

Megan Nilsen:

connecting with people, so I love connecting people to each other.

Megan Nilsen:

If you've ever done the strengths finders, Clifton strengths, connectedness

Megan Nilsen:

is definitely one of my top five.

Megan Nilsen:

So as far as what do I do, I'm constantly like.

Megan Nilsen:

Diving in with people, asking them deeper questions.

Megan Nilsen:

It could be in the grocery store line, which is super annoying for my kids.

Megan Nilsen:

but really ultimately I'm just a connector and I love to see

Megan Nilsen:

like, how did God design you?

Megan Nilsen:

What's your purpose?

Megan Nilsen:

And so I do that through motherhood.

Megan Nilsen:

I do that in my marriage.

Megan Nilsen:

I do that in my church and in my vocation.

Megan Nilsen:

So I'm always doing a deep dive with somebody with their personality,

Megan Nilsen:

their desires, their dreams.

Megan Nilsen:

And that's really what makes me tick all the time.

Tim Winders:

I love when people talk strength finders because that is, I

Tim Winders:

noticed you, and I like on your website that you actually put all of your,

Tim Winders:

uh, personality profile credentials.

Tim Winders:

It's like, wow, she's like right out there with all her Enneagram strength

Tim Winders:

finders, all this kind of stuff.

Tim Winders:

I've got mine in places, but it's a deeper place than you have to

Tim Winders:

look for it a little bit more.

Tim Winders:

But I string finders and my wife has a background in all this kind of stuff too.

Tim Winders:

That's kind of our favorite right now.

Tim Winders:

And we both are high strategy, but.

Tim Winders:

I have a lot of that connectedness in my top two, which is one of

Tim Winders:

the reasons why we're going to have a great conversation here.

Tim Winders:

So do the kids roll their eyes when you're in the grocery store and you start having

Tim Winders:

like a life type conversation with people?

Megan Nilsen:

Yeah.

Megan Nilsen:

It's like my kids, my kids, they just like, they start to cringe because they

Megan Nilsen:

see me if they, Hey, how's your day?

Megan Nilsen:

What are you up to?

Megan Nilsen:

And all of a sudden they're like, Oh, Don't do it.

Megan Nilsen:

Don't don't, don't ask them, you know, if the kids get in

Megan Nilsen:

the car with me and I'm driving.

Megan Nilsen:

So, but I've just learned to embrace it.

Megan Nilsen:

It's just who I am.

Megan Nilsen:

But at the same time, I really do realize that.

Megan Nilsen:

It might be offensive and it might be tough for my kids.

Megan Nilsen:

So I, I have been known to hold back a time or two, but it is, takes all the

Megan Nilsen:

self discipline in the world to do so.

Megan Nilsen:

Let me tell you,

Tim Winders:

were you always a connector?

Tim Winders:

Did you always reach out to people as far back as you can remember?

Tim Winders:

Or was that something you just started doing at some point in life?

Megan Nilsen:

I think I've always been a connector, but I haven't always had the

Megan Nilsen:

confidence to do so if that makes sense.

Megan Nilsen:

So I have grown in my 50 plus years on this earth and every

Megan Nilsen:

decade I feel like I become more and more who God created me to be.

Megan Nilsen:

So in some sense that connector person has always been, she's always existed,

Megan Nilsen:

but I've had to sift through a lot of.

Megan Nilsen:

self confidence issues, really finding my voice and trusting that when I put

Megan Nilsen:

myself out there and I want to connect with somebody, that's a really, like God

Megan Nilsen:

given thing versus, some other narrative that I may have believed over the years.

Megan Nilsen:

Like they don't really want to know you, you're being too nosy.

Megan Nilsen:

I've actually had to work to refine and hone that skill

Megan Nilsen:

and see God's design for it.

Megan Nilsen:

If that makes sense.

Tim Winders:

Cause what's interesting is I think I have

Tim Winders:

those similar, I'm wired that way.

Tim Winders:

And I have a vivid memory of going with my grandfather to what used to be

Tim Winders:

called the old folks home in Aberdeen, Mississippi, and he would go up and down.

Tim Winders:

It was just like a one.

Tim Winders:

Corridor hall.

Tim Winders:

And he would go to each door, look and see if he knew who they were.

Tim Winders:

And we would walk in and just start talking to people.

Tim Winders:

And he wasn't a deeply, I don't think spiritual man.

Tim Winders:

I don't think it was like ministry.

Tim Winders:

He just was taught.

Tim Winders:

And I was like four years old, five years old, walking up and down with him.

Tim Winders:

And I remember thinking that was the way I was or the way I should be or something.

Tim Winders:

Like that.

Tim Winders:

And, and it kind of, I've always been that way

Tim Winders:

since that

Tim Winders:

time.

Tim Winders:

I don't know if that unlocked it for me.

Tim Winders:

I don't know if that gave me the confidence, but what I want to circle

Tim Winders:

back to you on is what squelched it along the way, what was some of the

Tim Winders:

limiting factors for you stepping into what now you just mentioned 50

Tim Winders:

something years in, you were created for in the first place at the foundation.

Megan Nilsen:

yeah, I've done a lot of therapy over the years.

Megan Nilsen:

I can kind of joke about this at the outset, but truly like I've

Megan Nilsen:

had to do some deep work about what the origin of that was.

Megan Nilsen:

And I will say, In a measured way that there is some generational

Megan Nilsen:

expectations and narratives and like a critical nature that has been

Megan Nilsen:

kind of passed on through the years.

Megan Nilsen:

So, as you can see, I'm trying to be very diplomatic about how I say

Megan Nilsen:

that, in love and honor and respect, but somehow I really embraced.

Megan Nilsen:

Like go along to get along type of thing.

Megan Nilsen:

I think there was something about, I've actually done a lot of work in

Megan Nilsen:

therapy and other settings of like, who is the girl that thinks that she needs

Megan Nilsen:

to be perfect and do everything well.

Megan Nilsen:

And it needs to be sort of in this window of expectation and acceptable behavior.

Megan Nilsen:

And so not like being inquisitive and connecting with other

Megan Nilsen:

people is unacceptable behavior.

Megan Nilsen:

But, I think that's part of the thing that I've had to really.

Megan Nilsen:

Refine and prune and prune and refine over the years is that, I can get

Megan Nilsen:

messy and I can ask people deep questions and they can ask me deep

Megan Nilsen:

questions and I can say real answers.

Megan Nilsen:

but that is not something that.

Megan Nilsen:

Came very naturally to me because it felt messy and there must have been some

Megan Nilsen:

reason why I adapted to a very measured, like, be careful what you say, be

Megan Nilsen:

careful who you are type of, personality.

Megan Nilsen:

And it's been really fun and stretching and challenging over these past probably

Megan Nilsen:

12 to 15 years to step into the real me and who God has created me to be.

Megan Nilsen:

Honoring the past, honoring those generations and knowing that God has

Megan Nilsen:

really given me a vision of where some generational chains are being broken.

Megan Nilsen:

So that's a much deeper topic, that my husband and I feel

Megan Nilsen:

really passionate about.

Megan Nilsen:

how are we creating a family, and a family line and a legacy that

Megan Nilsen:

is honoring the good that has been passed down over the generations

Megan Nilsen:

recognizing where some strongholds have been and breaking those chains.

Megan Nilsen:

that's kind of what comes to my mind when you asked me that question,

Tim Winders:

So the tough thing about that, my wife, I kind of

Tim Winders:

heard some things that I've heard from my wife in the way you were.

Tim Winders:

Discussing that.

Tim Winders:

And my wife said that when she was young, she was bubbly, happy,

Tim Winders:

cheery, all this type stuff.

Tim Winders:

And her father who's passed now used to say in no uncertain terms, you

Tim Winders:

talk too much, would you shut up?

Tim Winders:

you know, even said something to the effect of that she had diarrhea of the

Tim Winders:

mouth which she actually remembers that, now 55 years later, and she thinks it

Tim Winders:

sort of squelched her that she became more introverted, quiet, things like that.

Tim Winders:

So I do think that's interesting.

Tim Winders:

And I love what you brought up that you are attempting within your

Tim Winders:

family To change those paradigms.

Tim Winders:

One of the things I'd love to know now, because I think some of this kind of

Tim Winders:

goes into how we communicate with God.

Tim Winders:

I think how we're wired and some of those things that you're talking about,

Tim Winders:

when we start doing this beautiful exchange journaling, we're going to

Tim Winders:

talk about in just a moment, I think it impacts it because some people.

Tim Winders:

Have that same mindset when they try to go before the Lord, tell me, give

Tim Winders:

me some high points, low points, whatever we might need to know about

Tim Winders:

your spiritual journey, your spiritual walk, how you came to be Megan, the

Tim Winders:

spiritual powerhouse that you are

Tim Winders:

now.

Megan Nilsen:

my middle name.

Megan Nilsen:

Megan's spiritual powerhouse, Nelson.

Megan Nilsen:

you know, I, I'll start with my most recent book and I'm sure

Megan Nilsen:

we're going to talk about this.

Megan Nilsen:

It's called untangled faith and the subtitle is how

Megan Nilsen:

honest conversations with God.

Megan Nilsen:

Lead to deeper connections, clarity, and peace.

Megan Nilsen:

We've already kind of been hovering around this idea of connections and, really

Megan Nilsen:

being connected to God and other people.

Megan Nilsen:

And I think as I'm reflecting, even talking to you, when I think about why

Megan Nilsen:

are honest conversations important to me.

Megan Nilsen:

I think it stems from the question that you just asked me about,

Megan Nilsen:

like sharing my voice and it is what I'm thinking and feeling.

Megan Nilsen:

Okay.

Megan Nilsen:

And I did grow up in the church.

Megan Nilsen:

I did grow up in a small town Methodist church, and it was really

Megan Nilsen:

lovely because we had to show up.

Megan Nilsen:

every week and we learned how to talk to different generations of people.

Megan Nilsen:

I really was able to hone that skill of being present and in community.

Megan Nilsen:

But somehow along the way, I just sort of became a very measured church girl.

Megan Nilsen:

Like this is how she's supposed to be.

Megan Nilsen:

And if she's not like this, then something's wrong with me.

Megan Nilsen:

That's embarrassing.

Megan Nilsen:

That's shameful.

Megan Nilsen:

And I have some just moments even of my growing up life where I would,

Megan Nilsen:

I was thinking I, I'm being honest.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm sharing something really deep and vulnerable and private.

Megan Nilsen:

And when I did that, it wasn't received.

Megan Nilsen:

with openness and grace.

Megan Nilsen:

And so all of a sudden I learned to kind of shut down that interior feeling or that

Megan Nilsen:

interior dialogue of like, Oh gosh, if I'm thinking this or experiencing this,

Megan Nilsen:

then that must not be okay with God.

Megan Nilsen:

And that really is not okay with the church.

Megan Nilsen:

So I'm going to have to kind of live this duplicitous life where I kind

Megan Nilsen:

of present one way on the outside.

Megan Nilsen:

Everything's great.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm fine.

Megan Nilsen:

I can do this all, but really inside maybe I'm struggling with some things.

Megan Nilsen:

So.

Megan Nilsen:

To put all this in perspective, 12 years ago, my husband and I,

Megan Nilsen:

we had two biological children.

Megan Nilsen:

We adopted our youngest two kids from Ethiopia in 2011.

Megan Nilsen:

Really, that's a whole journey of hearing from the Lord, inviting

Megan Nilsen:

his, really sensing his invitation to grow our family in this way.

Megan Nilsen:

And when they came home, as you might imagine, it was very, very difficult.

Megan Nilsen:

anybody who's familiar with adoption in any way, shape or

Megan Nilsen:

form understands the trauma and the brokenness inherent in that.

Megan Nilsen:

Right.

Megan Nilsen:

We are designed to grow up with our original caregivers.

Megan Nilsen:

And when that is broken for whatever reason, then we have all kinds of

Megan Nilsen:

things and attachment, complications.

Megan Nilsen:

So they come home, and I'm an absolute wreck.

Megan Nilsen:

there's this moment of, okay, God, I thought we heard you and we were

Megan Nilsen:

making this, Christian decision to grow our family in this way.

Megan Nilsen:

And now life is really hard.

Megan Nilsen:

It feels unbearable for All of us in the home because of just the

Megan Nilsen:

trauma that everybody's experiencing.

Megan Nilsen:

Maybe we didn't hear you right.

Megan Nilsen:

Maybe we didn't make the right decision.

Megan Nilsen:

And for someone who really values making the right decision,

Megan Nilsen:

because that's just going to be an easier way to get through life.

Megan Nilsen:

All of a sudden I was like, I think we made a massive mistake.

Megan Nilsen:

I don't think we should have done this for all kinds of reasons.

Megan Nilsen:

and so I ended up going to counseling.

Megan Nilsen:

my sweet husband was just trying every which way to keep the family

Megan Nilsen:

afloat, to keep everybody above water.

Megan Nilsen:

he was like, I'm doing everything I can.

Megan Nilsen:

I think you need to talk to somebody because especially the mom of the

Megan Nilsen:

household, if somebody is going down, a rising tide rises all ships, right?

Megan Nilsen:

if I'm the matriarch and the temperature of my home and I'm going down, I have

Megan Nilsen:

so much anxiety and, low key depression he said, you need to go to counseling.

Megan Nilsen:

So I went to counseling.

Megan Nilsen:

And I sat on my counselor's couch and I was kind of boohooing

Megan Nilsen:

about how hard life was.

Megan Nilsen:

And I thought we heard God, I, maybe we didn't hear him right.

Megan Nilsen:

I have no idea what to do.

Megan Nilsen:

I think we're in just as like, we cannot figure out how to rectify this mess.

Megan Nilsen:

And she looked at me and she said, you know, that motherhood's not

Megan Nilsen:

your highest and greatest calling.

Megan Nilsen:

Right.

Megan Nilsen:

And I said, no, I did not know that that's all I'm doing.

Megan Nilsen:

We went from two kids to four kids.

Megan Nilsen:

And I was actually listening to one of your podcasts with Becky Kaiser recently.

Megan Nilsen:

And she was talking about this idea of motherhood and calling and really being

Megan Nilsen:

our greatest calling as, as women and as human being is, is to be connected

Megan Nilsen:

to the Lord, to be a daughter of the King, to be a son of the King, It's

Megan Nilsen:

like, I'm a daughter of the King, then.

Megan Nilsen:

everything needs to flow from that.

Megan Nilsen:

So that to me in a very long winded answer to your question is how did my

Megan Nilsen:

spiritual life, how did I become this quote, spiritual powerhouse, which I

Megan Nilsen:

don't feel like I am, but I am putting a lot of energy into it because it

Megan Nilsen:

has radically transformed my life.

Megan Nilsen:

And probably the verse that comes to mind is in Romans chapter eight

Megan Nilsen:

when Paul says the flesh brings death and the spirit brings life.

Megan Nilsen:

And I had this moment when I'm sitting on my, on my counselor's couch and I'm

Megan Nilsen:

thinking, Everything that I'm holding onto right now, the flesh, the need to

Megan Nilsen:

control, the need to, expect a certain behavior from my kids and expect,

Megan Nilsen:

this attachments to be going well.

Megan Nilsen:

My flesh was really muscling things out and getting very, very tired.

Megan Nilsen:

And so in that moment, sitting on her couch, she was giving me

Megan Nilsen:

this invitation, this a new way.

Megan Nilsen:

It's like, Jesus says, I've come to bring you life.

Megan Nilsen:

Like the old is gone.

Megan Nilsen:

The new has come.

Megan Nilsen:

I had that moment where I'm like, okay, everything I've.

Megan Nilsen:

Constructed about who I'm supposed to be in the faith.

Megan Nilsen:

And as a human, as a woman in the church, as a mom is kind of being

Megan Nilsen:

put up before me and I'm having to deconstruct, what does that look like?

Megan Nilsen:

And why is this so hard?

Megan Nilsen:

And all of a sudden she said, the spirit's going to bring you life.

Megan Nilsen:

When you're filled up, With the love of God and the grace of God, then

Megan Nilsen:

it will inform your marriage and your parenting and your creativity,

Megan Nilsen:

everything else that flows from that.

Megan Nilsen:

So that to me was the most pivotal point when things shifted.

Megan Nilsen:

And all of a sudden, so the past 12 years I've been on this journey of, Oh my

Megan Nilsen:

goodness, what does that actually mean?

Megan Nilsen:

And so I think the honest conversations bit is, okay, I am feeling this.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm experiencing this is hard.

Megan Nilsen:

This is hard and God is good and he has something to show you and

Megan Nilsen:

he has something to teach you.

Megan Nilsen:

So that's really like the crux of where I sit in my vocational life, in my

Megan Nilsen:

spiritual life now is sitting in that tension, but always trusting towards

Megan Nilsen:

like God has something bigger and better than he wants to reveal even in the midst

Megan Nilsen:

of the heart and the, the suffering.

Tim Winders:

Have you, is that the timeframe when you believe you began

Tim Winders:

having conversations with God, period?

Tim Winders:

Or were you already conversing with him, but it maybe was just in a different

Tim Winders:

way prior to that 2011, 12, 13 timeframe

Tim Winders:

you brought up?

Megan Nilsen:

I mean, I've been a prayerful person growing up in the

Megan Nilsen:

church and I've enjoyed writing ever since I was young, but what I found in

Megan Nilsen:

that time specifically was that writing with God, conversing with God, if it's

Megan Nilsen:

out loud through your mouth or written through your words on a piece of paper,

Megan Nilsen:

became a form of therapy to me because I was able to write out some things.

Megan Nilsen:

I think a lot of musicians talk about this, authors, writers.

Megan Nilsen:

They have some feelings that are wrapped up and tangled up inside

Megan Nilsen:

and it's so healthy to get them out.

Megan Nilsen:

So what's the medium that you're going to use to get these things out?

Megan Nilsen:

Some people might use physical activity.

Megan Nilsen:

So for me it was writing.

Megan Nilsen:

And then I began to write with the Lord and say, Hey, this is hard

Megan Nilsen:

and I'm confused and I don't know if I'm hearing you right at all.

Megan Nilsen:

And then over time.

Megan Nilsen:

I was listening to other pastors and people talk about, okay, it's one thing

Megan Nilsen:

to write to God, to tell him all the honest things, to have your David moment

Megan Nilsen:

when you're just like, Hey, life sucks.

Megan Nilsen:

I don't know what to do now.

Megan Nilsen:

Then what do you do?

Megan Nilsen:

how do you access his wisdom?

Megan Nilsen:

How do you listen for his voice?

Megan Nilsen:

Cause it's one thing.

Megan Nilsen:

Think about any natural relationship you have.

Megan Nilsen:

If you had a problem with your wife and you just kind of unleashed on

Megan Nilsen:

her and said, Hey, here's all the problems I have and the questions I

Megan Nilsen:

have, and I don't know what to do.

Megan Nilsen:

And then you turned your back and you walked out and you shut the door.

Megan Nilsen:

She wouldn't have a chance to respond or say, I hear you.

Megan Nilsen:

Wow.

Megan Nilsen:

That's really hard to hear.

Megan Nilsen:

And here's my perspective.

Megan Nilsen:

So I felt like that's what I was doing with God.

Megan Nilsen:

It was like, Hey, this is all of my problems and I'm going to turn around

Megan Nilsen:

and walk out and just dump my problems.

Megan Nilsen:

and so when he really invited me to start listening for him and then writing down

Megan Nilsen:

what I was hearing, the impressions, the visions that were coming to me, that's

Megan Nilsen:

what opened up this whole new world of, wow, you can really access God's wisdom

Megan Nilsen:

if you're paying attention and you're super honest and you're laying it out

Megan Nilsen:

there and then you're asking for his perspective to lay over top of that.

Megan Nilsen:

That's really where the journaling came in, that I feel so passionate

Megan Nilsen:

about cause I love seeing people equipped to hear God for themselves.

Megan Nilsen:

We know more than we think we know.

Megan Nilsen:

We can hear him better than we think we can hear him.

Megan Nilsen:

Cause that's probably the biggest question I get is how do I know

Megan Nilsen:

if it's God's voice or my voice?

Megan Nilsen:

it feels really, really powerful.

Megan Nilsen:

At least to me, it has been in a lot of people I've worked with.

Tim Winders:

I do.

Tim Winders:

I want us to talk about even some of the practical aspects of this

Tim Winders:

beautiful exchange journaling.

Tim Winders:

However.

Tim Winders:

I do think there is a soul or mindset or whatever we want to call it.

Tim Winders:

perspective that needs to be addressed.

Tim Winders:

Cause there are people that one, they don't feel worthy to.

Tim Winders:

Come before the Lord There is what you just brought up, which is maybe you were

Tim Winders:

taught to be a certain way growing up.

Tim Winders:

Also, unfortunately, I think there's some gender things that factor into this.

Tim Winders:

You mentioned, I heard you say church girl and woman in the church.

Tim Winders:

you know what, I don't ever say man in the church.

Tim Winders:

I don't ever bring that up.

Tim Winders:

It's like, I'm just.

Tim Winders:

So there are gender things that come into play here, whether

Tim Winders:

we want to admit it or not.

Tim Winders:

And I'm not saying they're good, but it's just the way it is.

Tim Winders:

But you brought up something in the book, somewhere in the middle of the book.

Tim Winders:

I did read Untangled Faith over the last few days.

Tim Winders:

You brought up the aspect of being an orphan.

Tim Winders:

And I think all of those things have varying degrees of orphan ism.

Tim Winders:

In them and I think it's so cool that y'all also have adopted because I think

Tim Winders:

the opposite of an orphan is someone who's been adopted and so I don't know

Tim Winders:

if there's going to be a question here.

Tim Winders:

Maybe it's just, can you talk more about.

Tim Winders:

Orphan or, or do anything that people need to do in preparation to begin

Tim Winders:

this process that a lot of people may struggle with sitting down and

Tim Winders:

actually communicating and connecting with God, their heavenly father.

Megan Nilsen:

Yeah.

Tim Winders:

again, not a question there, any

Tim Winders:

based on what I just said.

Megan Nilsen:

in fact, as you were speaking, I feel like I'm

Megan Nilsen:

getting a little emotional.

Megan Nilsen:

I could feel the tears kind of like right behind my eyes because adoption,

Megan Nilsen:

being an adoptive mom and adopting our kids has been the single biggest

Megan Nilsen:

experience in my life to really understand even a fraction of a level of how much

Megan Nilsen:

God loves us and what it must be like for him when we turn our backs on him.

Megan Nilsen:

And.

Megan Nilsen:

You know, kind of before I say anything more, I really do want to honor, and I

Megan Nilsen:

really respect the story of the actual orphan of people on this earth who have,

Megan Nilsen:

for whatever reason are not growing up in a loving home with their original

Megan Nilsen:

caregiver, their original mother and father, because that is a brokenness

Megan Nilsen:

that is so deep and it really can break the human spirit in a lot of ways.

Megan Nilsen:

So, I know that every story is very different and so I just want to

Megan Nilsen:

honor that and whatever I say from my perspective is just our experience and I

Megan Nilsen:

recognize that it can be very complicated and nuanced for a lot of people.

Megan Nilsen:

But when we brought our children home, they were five and seven, a boy and a

Megan Nilsen:

girl and they had been actually with their mother for quite some time of several

Megan Nilsen:

years growing up and she had relinquished them for extreme poverty and, illness.

Megan Nilsen:

And when they came home, it was just so difficult because they didn't understand

Megan Nilsen:

That they were part of a new family, of a new system, that everything that we have,

Megan Nilsen:

our name, any material possessions, our love is now theirs by extension because

Megan Nilsen:

they have been grafted into this family.

Megan Nilsen:

And you could just see them fighting against this because the human spirit is

Megan Nilsen:

so, we just want to protect ourselves.

Megan Nilsen:

if you've been hurt, neglected and abandoned at one point, then

Megan Nilsen:

what does the human spirit do?

Megan Nilsen:

Our human spirit wants to build up the wall because we

Megan Nilsen:

don't want to be hurt again.

Megan Nilsen:

I think anybody listening has experienced that in life, either with a love

Megan Nilsen:

relationship or something like that.

Megan Nilsen:

So to build that trust, For, as a parent perspective to build the trust

Megan Nilsen:

of my kids has been our life's work.

Megan Nilsen:

And even now they're 17 and 19.

Megan Nilsen:

And there are still plenty of moments where I see this, interaction, where

Megan Nilsen:

maybe the trust isn't totally there and there's not that vulnerability.

Megan Nilsen:

I listened to a pastor, years ago, and this is kind of what you're

Megan Nilsen:

referring to in the book that said.

Megan Nilsen:

What is the difference between a child of God?

Megan Nilsen:

How do you know when you're kind of acting in that as a child of

Megan Nilsen:

God versus the orphan spirit?

Megan Nilsen:

And he said something very simple, but very profound.

Megan Nilsen:

At least it was to me.

Megan Nilsen:

He said, the orphan has a high.

Megan Nilsen:

Need for control and a low level of trust because you've been burned, so to speak.

Megan Nilsen:

So you don't know who you can trust.

Megan Nilsen:

You need to control everything about your life and that's

Megan Nilsen:

how you'll be okay and fine.

Megan Nilsen:

But the child of God has a high level of trust in the love and the

Megan Nilsen:

resources around them and a low need to control their environment

Megan Nilsen:

and everybody else around them.

Megan Nilsen:

And I think, yes, you can talk about this in the very literal, like.

Megan Nilsen:

Orphan sense, but if you're talking in a spiritual sense, that to me has been

Megan Nilsen:

a huge topic and really a theme that has transformed my spirituality because

Megan Nilsen:

every day I'm thinking, okay, am I acting like, do I have an orphan spirit

Megan Nilsen:

where I'm trying to kind of trying to control my surroundings, control the

Megan Nilsen:

agenda, control the people around me because I don't really trust either

Megan Nilsen:

God's faithfulness, God's provision.

Megan Nilsen:

Or I don't trust the other people to kind of, you know, do

Megan Nilsen:

their part and live their life.

Megan Nilsen:

And if the answer, if I, if I start to get revelation that I'm trying to control and

Megan Nilsen:

I'd have a low level of trust, then I have this moment where I can go, okay, how can

Megan Nilsen:

I trust God more and release the control?

Megan Nilsen:

Because when I try to control things, it gets very, very,

Megan Nilsen:

just tense and exhausting.

Megan Nilsen:

Anxiety producing.

Megan Nilsen:

And if Jesus came to give us peace and abundant life, then at least to

Megan Nilsen:

me, I have this recognition every day.

Megan Nilsen:

Which way am I going to go?

Megan Nilsen:

Am I going to go for a deeper trust in God, releasing the control back to him?

Megan Nilsen:

Or am I going to take it all back once again?

Tim Winders:

interesting about it, and I don't think I want us to go down this

Tim Winders:

rabbit hole, is that I know that you do quite a bit with personality profiles,

Tim Winders:

and again, disc strength finders, Enneagram, all those type things.

Tim Winders:

It is very easy for us to make probably sweeping comments.

Tim Winders:

I do think trust is a foundational issue that you brought up, but we

Tim Winders:

also have this factor of all of us are wired in such different Ways at

Tim Winders:

times, and there are personalities.

Tim Winders:

My wife and I were just discussing this.

Tim Winders:

We've been together 35 years.

Tim Winders:

And yesterday we had a bit of a come to Jesus conversation where we're both

Tim Winders:

working on some new projects, even in our sixties, we're working on some new

Tim Winders:

projects and she was working on it.

Tim Winders:

And I told her this, it didn't go well initially, but she came around later

Tim Winders:

and she spent some time with the Lord this morning and said, by the way,

Tim Winders:

God said you were right, which I just want to mark it down as that was,

Tim Winders:

you know, possibly, possibly a first.

Tim Winders:

Well, what she was doing is she was, she was kind of grinding out

Tim Winders:

this Project instead of enjoying the journey and being joyful along the way.

Tim Winders:

And one of the things we're purposing is to be more joyful with

Tim Winders:

all that we're doing in our lives.

Tim Winders:

So anyway, personalities still factor into it.

Tim Winders:

But I do want to start going into the power of writing stuff down of journaling.

Tim Winders:

And before we get close to that, though, I want to ask one more question before we

Tim Winders:

get to it, because many people will say.

Tim Winders:

I don't have time when I sit down, I've got all these things going through

Tim Winders:

my mind and I'll state it this way.

Tim Winders:

And then I'll just let you kind of talk more about it.

Tim Winders:

But I believe we talk about it quite a bit here on the show

Tim Winders:

that we all are leading and.

Tim Winders:

2024 when we're recording this distracted lives, we've got

Tim Winders:

so many things distracting us.

Tim Winders:

So many things coming at us and we allow that it's still up to us.

Tim Winders:

We can control that.

Tim Winders:

And I think that's what prevents a lot of people from getting started.

Tim Winders:

With this process, any comment on this, on just the

Tim Winders:

distractedness of the way we live?

Megan Nilsen:

Amen.

Megan Nilsen:

It's a real simple comment.

Megan Nilsen:

yeah, we're distracted.

Megan Nilsen:

I think that's a tale as old as time, but with the advancement of technology

Megan Nilsen:

and the 24 seven noise access to information, I feel like right now is

Megan Nilsen:

probably an era in history in which.

Megan Nilsen:

We have to access self control more than ever.

Megan Nilsen:

self control is a fruit of the spirit.

Megan Nilsen:

I am reminded of that all the time.

Megan Nilsen:

And I like to remind people of that because when we have access

Megan Nilsen:

to so much at our fingertips, any distraction, anything that's going

Megan Nilsen:

to entertain us, even educate us, and we can just scroll through Tik TOK.

Megan Nilsen:

and my kids are always saying, but mom, I'm learning things.

Megan Nilsen:

Well, that's great.

Megan Nilsen:

That you're learning things, but it's also like a drug.

Megan Nilsen:

It's kind of this like dopamine hit where it's like a new thing, a new

Megan Nilsen:

thing, a new thing all the time.

Megan Nilsen:

So what happens then is we're out of practice.

Megan Nilsen:

We're out of practice of being quiet and still, and sitting and listening.

Megan Nilsen:

And our kids nowadays don't even really know what it means to be bored.

Megan Nilsen:

Because if they have access to a smartphone, so take what you will

Megan Nilsen:

there, decide when that is appropriate for you and your family, but you

Megan Nilsen:

have access to just something that's going to be like a drug at any time.

Megan Nilsen:

I don't have to think that deeply because I think one of the things

Megan Nilsen:

we're battling against is when I sit down and I really consider my life

Megan Nilsen:

and I start to go, okay, God, Wow.

Megan Nilsen:

This is what I'm feeling.

Megan Nilsen:

This is what I'm experiencing.

Megan Nilsen:

That is not an easy task.

Megan Nilsen:

I mean, that is something that you could, it could almost get harder before it

Megan Nilsen:

gets easier because you're accessing some deep and potentially painful places.

Megan Nilsen:

Why would I want to do that?

Megan Nilsen:

Why wouldn't I want to just like numb my brain and numb my heart?

Megan Nilsen:

I don't have to deal with that.

Megan Nilsen:

So I think what happens in writing and, and, and I'm not even talking

Megan Nilsen:

about typing, I'm So my argument is that people pick up an actual pen.

Megan Nilsen:

and a piece of paper and start writing things down, because there's something

Megan Nilsen:

very, scientific neurological that happens in your brain that begins to

Megan Nilsen:

connect those synapses, your head and your heart that doesn't happen when you're

Megan Nilsen:

kind of distracted in that noisy world.

Megan Nilsen:

so I think it's super, super powerful to pick up a pen and sit down And

Megan Nilsen:

it doesn't even take that long.

Megan Nilsen:

It can take five minutes.

Megan Nilsen:

It doesn't have to take a long time.

Megan Nilsen:

Cause a lot of people say, I don't have time.

Megan Nilsen:

Obviously I don't have time is a fantastic excuse.

Megan Nilsen:

Cause we make time for things that are important to us.

Megan Nilsen:

We know that, right?

Megan Nilsen:

It's like, I don't have time to sit down and watch the entire seasons of Ted Lasso.

Megan Nilsen:

Well, somehow you made the time to do that.

Megan Nilsen:

But, we make time for what we value.

Megan Nilsen:

So then I would put the question back on somebody, then what do you value?

Megan Nilsen:

If you value being a person who is growth minded, growth oriented, you

Megan Nilsen:

want to stay connected to the people in your life and to the God that you

Megan Nilsen:

believe in, then I would argue that it's going to take some time and some

Megan Nilsen:

stillness to get to the place where that's really powerful connection.

Tim Winders:

I think you brought up, you hit multiple nerves that I've had to

Tim Winders:

address over the last handful of years.

Tim Winders:

And I think.

Tim Winders:

In those comments, you just made the first one for me.

Tim Winders:

And when I work with leaders and leadership organizations,

Tim Winders:

this is one of the things I am promoting as much as anything.

Tim Winders:

And that is just the need to be still and quiet, whatever that means.

Tim Winders:

That's different for different people.

Tim Winders:

The second piece of it, and I don't know that I saw it.

Tim Winders:

In reading the book, maybe I missed it.

Tim Winders:

And I do love that you are a pen and paper, pencil, paper, whatever, because

Tim Winders:

I've tried to do some digital things.

Tim Winders:

I've tried to be cleaner, efficient, et cetera.

Tim Winders:

And I just don't, and also have bad penmanship, my penmanship.

Tim Winders:

It makes it, I write in tongues.

Tim Winders:

And so I do need interpretation typically when I do that.

Tim Winders:

And so it makes it tough.

Tim Winders:

One thing I've noticed about myself, I used to think I was a multitasker.

Tim Winders:

I cannot multitask when I'm writing, especially pen to paper.

Tim Winders:

And I think when we're talking about honest conversations, especially

Tim Winders:

with our creator, it's important for us to be as focused as possible.

Tim Winders:

And so somewhere along the way, you came up with this

Tim Winders:

beautiful exchange journaling, and that is built and developed.

Tim Winders:

Tell a little bit more about the origin of that and kind of how that has continued

Tim Winders:

to grow and

Megan Nilsen:

that?

Megan Nilsen:

What does that mean?

Megan Nilsen:

What is this thing?

Megan Nilsen:

before I talk about beautiful exchange journaling, I had this moment because

Megan Nilsen:

your podcast is seek, go create, correct?

Megan Nilsen:

So I feel like when you have a pen and a piece of paper,

Megan Nilsen:

you're in the seeking posture.

Megan Nilsen:

And then when you flip over to create, Open up your computer and start writing

Megan Nilsen:

like that to me, if I'm seeking, I've got a pen and a piece of paper and

Megan Nilsen:

I'm doing some really deep inner work and really sussing out untangling

Megan Nilsen:

some of the things that are going on.

Megan Nilsen:

And then when God begins to give revelation and ideas.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm going to open up my computer and I'm going to start to create.

Megan Nilsen:

I felt like a really interesting connection for me, but

Megan Nilsen:

beautiful exchange journaling.

Megan Nilsen:

Okay.

Megan Nilsen:

This is, there's two parts to the origin here.

Megan Nilsen:

Number one is when I was writing my first book called the beautiful exchange.

Megan Nilsen:

I couldn't not write it.

Megan Nilsen:

This was one of those things where I was going through the spiritual

Megan Nilsen:

transformation myself and the adoption narrative is kind of the through

Megan Nilsen:

line of this book, but ultimately the phrase of beautiful exchange.

Megan Nilsen:

Is what I felt like God was giving to me.

Megan Nilsen:

His, the tagline is responding to God's invitation for more.

Megan Nilsen:

So I was in this moment, like I've kind of described where he's saying,

Megan Nilsen:

you're holding onto things so tightly.

Megan Nilsen:

You think they're going to bring you fulfillment.

Megan Nilsen:

You think they're going to bring you success or purpose, but what I'm offering

Megan Nilsen:

you, Megan, and I would suggest that he might be saying this to some of your

Megan Nilsen:

listeners too, is if you will release that to me, if you will open up your hands and

Megan Nilsen:

your heart Give me the things that you're trying to take so much control over.

Megan Nilsen:

I will actually exchange those things for my spirit, my ways, my plans for you.

Megan Nilsen:

So to me, a beautiful exchange is what God is offering us that is far

Megan Nilsen:

beyond what we could ask or imagine.

Megan Nilsen:

He says this in scripture and he wants to exchange the things that we ask.

Megan Nilsen:

Are limited thinking for his abundance.

Megan Nilsen:

So that's the idea of the beautiful exchange.

Megan Nilsen:

So then as I'm growing over these past years in my own spiritual formation,

Megan Nilsen:

I'm starting to hear this pastor start talking about two way journaling.

Megan Nilsen:

And he's saying, listen, you can write out your thoughts to God.

Megan Nilsen:

Ask him a question, pour out your ideas and your thinking to him.

Megan Nilsen:

And then you stop and you listen and you kind of tune to the Holy

Megan Nilsen:

Spirit and you say, okay, God, what's your perspective here?

Megan Nilsen:

What is your kingdom, wisdom, and grace?

Megan Nilsen:

And, just counsel over what I'm experiencing.

Megan Nilsen:

And it's this idea of, Oh, it's going two ways now.

Megan Nilsen:

It's not just me talking to God, talk, talk, talk, and then shut the door.

Megan Nilsen:

It's okay.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm going to pour out my heart.

Megan Nilsen:

I am his child.

Megan Nilsen:

he is a heavenly father.

Megan Nilsen:

He's a good father who wants to listen to me and he offers good things to his kids.

Megan Nilsen:

And then.

Megan Nilsen:

In humility and vulnerability, I sit and listen and that's the two way part.

Megan Nilsen:

Now what am I experiencing?

Megan Nilsen:

what impressions are coming to my mind from the Holy Spirit that I can

Megan Nilsen:

begin to write down that is activating truth in my life, that is activating

Megan Nilsen:

guidance and counsel and a way forward.

Megan Nilsen:

And so that's this idea of two way journaling.

Megan Nilsen:

I kind of overlaid the beautiful exchange.

Megan Nilsen:

Cause to me, they felt very much related.

Megan Nilsen:

Like I'm releasing the things of anxiety that my flesh is holding on to.

Megan Nilsen:

And I'm exchanging that as I'm listening for your spirit.

Megan Nilsen:

And then the last thing I'll say about this, which is the journal that

Megan Nilsen:

I just published last year is that I woke up one morning and I don't know

Megan Nilsen:

how you are as, as a creative, but a lot of times for me, I will just

Megan Nilsen:

ideas will come out of quote nowhere.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm a believer.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm going to say it's coming from God.

Megan Nilsen:

So I wake up one morning a couple of years ago and I have been

Megan Nilsen:

practicing this two way journaling and I just felt like the whole rest

Megan Nilsen:

of this blueprint for journaling was like downloaded into my head.

Megan Nilsen:

And so I thought, okay, if I write.

Megan Nilsen:

And then I listen, the strategist in me, we've discussed the strategy

Megan Nilsen:

piece of the CliftonStrengths.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm like, okay, what do I do with this now?

Megan Nilsen:

What are people supposed to do with the kingdom wisdom that they receive?

Megan Nilsen:

And so that's the rest of the journaling practice is now that you've.

Megan Nilsen:

Received from the Lord.

Megan Nilsen:

What is the truth that he wants to give you?

Megan Nilsen:

What is the counseling wants to give you moving forward?

Megan Nilsen:

And I felt very passionate about activating people into taking

Megan Nilsen:

bold steps of faith towards what he's inviting you to do.

Tim Winders:

it does.

Tim Winders:

And the reason that is, it's so cool to me as I was reading it, I was realizing that.

Tim Winders:

I've been doing sort of that for some time.

Tim Winders:

If one looks at my journal, it kind of goes like this.

Tim Winders:

There's me sometimes dumping, sometimes showing gratitude, sometimes just, I

Tim Winders:

don't want to say diarying, but you know, maybe like being sort of diary type stuff.

Tim Winders:

Just Talking, kind of getting some stuff out of my head.

Tim Winders:

There's two squiggly lines on the page.

Tim Winders:

And beneath the squiggly lines, it's in my view, it's God responding to me and

Tim Winders:

with instruction and things like that.

Tim Winders:

I guess it kind of was some good confirmation for me.

Tim Winders:

It's like, Oh, maybe I'm doing some cool stuff and doing something right here.

Tim Winders:

But one of the things Megan, I'd like to maybe address, because you mentioned

Tim Winders:

it in the book, that journaling is a trigger word for some people.

Tim Winders:

Good or bad.

Tim Winders:

I mean, there's some people that boy, they love to talk about their journaling.

Tim Winders:

I think some people talk about journaling more than they actually do it.

Tim Winders:

We won't get into that here.

Tim Winders:

and then some people do it, do it, do it, and it's become habit.

Tim Winders:

But maybe, like you said, there isn't the reflective, you know,

Tim Winders:

transformation that should come from it.

Tim Winders:

Talk about why it's a trigger and the challenge that some people have.

Tim Winders:

and then we're going to talk as we finish up with some technique and some things

Megan Nilsen:

Yeah, it is a trigger.

Megan Nilsen:

In fact, I have a chapter in the book that you're referring to.

Megan Nilsen:

It's something about like, tackling journal phobia or something

Megan Nilsen:

because, honestly, it is a trigger addressing journal phobia.

Megan Nilsen:

That's the chapter.

Megan Nilsen:

And I'm laughing because, this is my husband, he's like, I don't journal.

Megan Nilsen:

I don't really write.

Megan Nilsen:

and he heard me one time I was hosting a Christmas event for some women and I

Megan Nilsen:

was leading them through this type of journaling around the Advent season.

Megan Nilsen:

And he was, my darling husband was helping like serve coffee and helping me with

Megan Nilsen:

all the logistics and things like that.

Megan Nilsen:

So he was overhearing.

Megan Nilsen:

As I guided women through this journaling practice.

Megan Nilsen:

And as we were leaving the venue and we're all packed up, he

Megan Nilsen:

said, wow, that's really cool.

Megan Nilsen:

When you asked me if I would journal, he's like, I don't really want to write stuff

Megan Nilsen:

down, but now that I've seen you guide someone through it, Well, I could do that.

Megan Nilsen:

So I think one of the triggers and maybe barriers to journaling

Megan Nilsen:

this, this word is that people are like, I'm not really a writer.

Megan Nilsen:

I don't really know what to write.

Megan Nilsen:

You're staring at a blank page.

Megan Nilsen:

There's nothing on the page and all of a sudden your mind is jammed

Megan Nilsen:

up with all kinds of thoughts.

Megan Nilsen:

And so what I think, why I find this guided journaling helpful

Megan Nilsen:

or even prompts is that it just, it has a way of settling down.

Megan Nilsen:

the rate of our thoughts, and I actually offered in episode 50 of my podcast,

Megan Nilsen:

the kingdom life coaching podcast, actually recorded myself guiding

Megan Nilsen:

someone through this journaling.

Megan Nilsen:

Because when you have someone just leading you by the hand, it's not

Megan Nilsen:

even like I'm telling you where to go.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm just giving you the next step and the next step.

Megan Nilsen:

There's something that might settle your spirit.

Megan Nilsen:

Like, Oh, and now she's asking me to think about this and write about this.

Megan Nilsen:

And it's not this overwhelming blank page.

Megan Nilsen:

That's like, I don't even know what to write.

Megan Nilsen:

I have so many things going on.

Megan Nilsen:

I can't access those thoughts.

Megan Nilsen:

So boom, I'm just going to walk away.

Megan Nilsen:

So it can be overwhelming and you're right.

Megan Nilsen:

it's polarizing.

Megan Nilsen:

Some people are like, Oh my gosh, I love journaling.

Megan Nilsen:

I've journaling since I was a little kid.

Megan Nilsen:

This is the best thing I can ever think to do.

Megan Nilsen:

And some people are like, absolutely not.

Megan Nilsen:

And if you're an absolutely not, I would just encourage you.

Megan Nilsen:

Maybe to give it a try.

Megan Nilsen:

It's like, you know, things that are good for you, we're supposed

Megan Nilsen:

to try these things in life.

Megan Nilsen:

And if it really doesn't work for you, that's okay.

Megan Nilsen:

The only thing I would say as an encouragement for someone in that

Megan Nilsen:

space is if journaling, if writing things down with God is kind of not

Megan Nilsen:

your jam, then I would ask you what is.

Megan Nilsen:

Is it going for a walk?

Megan Nilsen:

Is it, listening to music?

Megan Nilsen:

Like, how will you process your thoughts with God and hear from him?

Megan Nilsen:

That's what you have to figure out.

Tim Winders:

I love that you said that because so many people attempt to make

Tim Winders:

everything formulaic or create a doctrine around it or something like that.

Tim Winders:

So let's do this.

Tim Winders:

We've got a few minutes left here.

Tim Winders:

Get someone started.

Tim Winders:

Let's just say someone they've heard the journaling thing.

Tim Winders:

They know they need to do it.

Tim Winders:

You've got some resources for people.

Tim Winders:

We can talk about those here, but just let's kind of get someone

Tim Winders:

started because I do agree.

Tim Winders:

It's something that even hard chargers leader type people, they

Tim Winders:

need to sit down, be still and quiet.

Tim Winders:

And this is a practice that can help them.

Tim Winders:

So, get us started.

Megan Nilsen:

Get us started.

Megan Nilsen:

Well, I think the first step in any new practice or anything that's

Megan Nilsen:

going to challenge us is to really buy into why we're doing this.

Megan Nilsen:

So say you're going to go to the gym and start lifting weights and you're

Megan Nilsen:

like, Oh, I've heard that it's good for me, but I don't really know.

Megan Nilsen:

you have to trust that the experience is going to be good for it's painful,

Megan Nilsen:

whether it's uncomfortable or not.

Megan Nilsen:

That's what I would say about journaling.

Megan Nilsen:

You might have these preconceived notions about like, ugh, I don't really do that.

Megan Nilsen:

So I just want to make the case that it's really good for

Megan Nilsen:

human beings to try new things.

Megan Nilsen:

to get started, all you really need is a notebook and a pen and your own thoughts.

Megan Nilsen:

And so my very foundational question for you would be, is there anything

Megan Nilsen:

in your life right now that is confusing or overwhelming to you?

Megan Nilsen:

If the answer is yes.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm a business owner.

Megan Nilsen:

I don't know what decision to make about my business.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm in a marriage and I don't really know what to do with this relationship.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm parenting my kids and I'm not exactly sure which way to go

Megan Nilsen:

as far as, how to parent them.

Megan Nilsen:

Well, then you are a person who is.

Megan Nilsen:

Well positioned to journal because you have something on your heart that if you

Megan Nilsen:

write it down, if you start to discover what it is, name it and be honest about

Megan Nilsen:

it, you're bringing it to the light.

Megan Nilsen:

I think that's what journaling is.

Megan Nilsen:

It's bringing something to the light that is actually more comfortable

Megan Nilsen:

to keep hidden and locked away.

Megan Nilsen:

And we know that things that are hidden in the dark.

Megan Nilsen:

Begin to grow mold and begin to grow bacteria.

Megan Nilsen:

And there are unhealthy things that happen when, when thoughts

Megan Nilsen:

are left in dark places.

Megan Nilsen:

So you don't necessarily have to announce to the world what you're thinking about.

Megan Nilsen:

This is a place where you just get to go with your own thoughts and with

Megan Nilsen:

the God who loves you and created you and just begin to ask him.

Megan Nilsen:

What do you want to show me about this?

Megan Nilsen:

And then you have to trust that he will speak to you, that

Megan Nilsen:

thoughts will come to your mind.

Megan Nilsen:

And then that's the practice of how do I discern which thoughts are

Megan Nilsen:

his thoughts and my, my thoughts.

Megan Nilsen:

You have to start to read the Bible and understand his voice and be in

Megan Nilsen:

Christian community and a healthy space where you're, I mean this, we could

Megan Nilsen:

talk about this for a whole other hour, but just to get started, trust that you

Megan Nilsen:

have something that's bothering you.

Megan Nilsen:

if you write it down and you name it.

Megan Nilsen:

outright, then God can begin to speak to you about that thing.

Megan Nilsen:

And it's not as overwhelming.

Megan Nilsen:

I hope it's not as overwhelming as it might seem.

Tim Winders:

it's interesting when something's bothering

Tim Winders:

you, you brought that up.

Tim Winders:

I think during COVID, I looked back at my journals during COVID and I was

Tim Winders:

just super confused about, and I think it was a lot of crying out, Lord,

Tim Winders:

what's going on, what's happening?

Tim Winders:

And basically, I think the Lord responded, said, what, why

Tim Winders:

does any of this surprise you?

Tim Winders:

This is the type world we're in.

Tim Winders:

There's just stuff going on.

Tim Winders:

And so I felt, maybe rebuked a little bit on that, but how does someone know?

Tim Winders:

And this is a little bit of a loaded question, but how does

Tim Winders:

someone know measure gauge, whatever, if they're doing it.

Tim Winders:

Well, or if they're progressing or what are some clues along the way

Tim Winders:

that someone could say, you know what, this is actually, this is bringing me

Tim Winders:

closer to, as you said, clarity and peace in the subtitle of your book.

Megan Nilsen:

So the question is, how does anyone know they're doing this?

Megan Nilsen:

Well, the short answer I can, that the most succinct answer

Megan Nilsen:

that I can say is doing it.

Megan Nilsen:

Well, you're doing life well.

Megan Nilsen:

When you can see the fruit, when you can see that, that you are more

Megan Nilsen:

deeply connected to God and other people to yourself and to a fulfilling

Megan Nilsen:

vision and purpose for your life.

Megan Nilsen:

you might be struggling if you don't see the fruit, if it feels like some real

Megan Nilsen:

dead ends and some disconnectedness in your life to your own purpose, to your

Megan Nilsen:

own fulfillment, to the people around you.

Megan Nilsen:

So I don't think it's necessarily rocket science.

Megan Nilsen:

I actually think, you know, Brene Brown is a very, well spoken.

Megan Nilsen:

influencer in this space, but the more vulnerable you can

Megan Nilsen:

be, the more honest you can be.

Megan Nilsen:

and really discarding shame and not withholding yourself cause you're

Megan Nilsen:

embarrassed or you feel shame about it.

Megan Nilsen:

If you can go after some things and just say, you know what?

Megan Nilsen:

and just name it like this is embarrassing to say, and I'm not really sure if I want

Megan Nilsen:

to say this out loud, but I trust that if I do good things are going to happen,

Megan Nilsen:

I'm going to have more self awareness.

Megan Nilsen:

Other people are going to understand me better than I think that is how, you know,

Megan Nilsen:

if you're doing it well in your words.

Tim Winders:

I think one thing that I've noticed,

Tim Winders:

you hear athletes at times talk about being in

Tim Winders:

The zone and sometimes in a sport that's very fast, they'll say

Tim Winders:

that it slows down when they're in

Tim Winders:

that zone.

Tim Winders:

I think to quote Ferris Bueller, that life comes at us pretty fast for me.

Tim Winders:

This practice, and when I do it, well, things tend to slow down and

Tim Winders:

I feel as if I'm just in the zone and I don't even know, you know,

Tim Winders:

defining this being at peace, I think is always tough, but it's like when

Tim Winders:

you're there, you know it, but when you're not, you may not understand it.

Tim Winders:

And I, think that's what it is.

Tim Winders:

for me is just kind of being in the zone and you brought up something.

Tim Winders:

I had this word down that you, in your book, you talked about it, that you can

Tim Winders:

be maybe at times sarcastic and all that.

Tim Winders:

And to me, I noticed when I'm really doing.

Tim Winders:

Journaling and all that.

Tim Winders:

My heart is softer.

Megan Nilsen:

Mm hmm.

Tim Winders:

It's just I have a softer heart and I'm more

Tim Winders:

compassionate and loving to people.

Megan Nilsen:

I love that in the zone.

Megan Nilsen:

I love it because, and if you want to be in the zone, find things, find systems and

Megan Nilsen:

routines and people and places that invite you into, that usher you into the zone.

Megan Nilsen:

So for me, as someone who really processes things verbally out loud,

Megan Nilsen:

the zone can be speaking or journaling because that's how I'm wired and

Megan Nilsen:

you had mentioned that earlier.

Megan Nilsen:

We have different personalities, we have different wiring.

Megan Nilsen:

So find the thing, the systems, the people, the places really guide

Megan Nilsen:

you into your zone and press into that, like stay there, build that.

Megan Nilsen:

That's a good thing to build.

Tim Winders:

Megan, I noticed that most of your resources are geared towards female.

Tim Winders:

Would you say that's your primary audience?

Tim Winders:

I got, I got a lot from the book myself.

Tim Winders:

I mean, I just read the book, but tell, tell us who the book is for.

Tim Winders:

Go ahead and do that.

Tim Winders:

And then go ahead and tell us where to find all your resources.

Megan Nilsen:

Yeah.

Megan Nilsen:

It's funny.

Megan Nilsen:

I don't know why everybody likes to take female teachers and speakers

Megan Nilsen:

and say, you must speak to females.

Megan Nilsen:

Right.

Megan Nilsen:

I know you've talked about this on your podcast before

Megan Nilsen:

and I'm like, no, it's not just

Megan Nilsen:

if you, okay.

Megan Nilsen:

Let me ask you this.

Megan Nilsen:

if God speaks to his people, does he just speak to women?

Megan Nilsen:

Well, don't answer that.

Megan Nilsen:

Cause he might.

Megan Nilsen:

No, I'm just kidding.

Tim Winders:

Be

Tim Winders:

careful.

Tim Winders:

Be Careful.

Tim Winders:

That's a landmine.

Megan Nilsen:

so this book and this journaling is for anyone who's hungry.

Megan Nilsen:

and curious to really be connected to God, to hear what he has to say.

Megan Nilsen:

Someone who really wants to live, by God's grace, by his love and by his guidance.

Megan Nilsen:

and someone who's like, but I'm not sure if I really know how to do that.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm not sure if I know how to hear his voice.

Megan Nilsen:

Does he really speak to me?

Megan Nilsen:

How could I access this thing that you're talking about?

Megan Nilsen:

I feel like this is book is a very foundational book for someone who's kind

Megan Nilsen:

of growing in the things of the spirit, growing in the things of hearing from

Megan Nilsen:

God, or even just beginning because it's going to just give you a lot of

Megan Nilsen:

foundational understanding of who God is, what his voice sounds like, and how you

Megan Nilsen:

can begin to experience this for yourself.

Megan Nilsen:

does that sound pretty good?

Megan Nilsen:

Having read the book yourself?

Tim Winders:

It does.

Tim Winders:

And listen, let's just, I'll, I'll say it a little more bluntly.

Tim Winders:

Everyone needs to position themselves so they can hear God's voice.

Tim Winders:

Period.

Tim Winders:

and we all need to be working on that probably more than we currently do.

Tim Winders:

And any tool or resource that helps, I think

Tim Winders:

has value.

Tim Winders:

And I do, I get a little bit annoyed.

Tim Winders:

Gosh, I don't want to go down here.

Tim Winders:

I do get a little bit annoyed with the male, female, I try to address it some,

Tim Winders:

but I don't know that I do it well.

Tim Winders:

And I sometimes maybe even stir the pot more, but you know, it's Part

Tim Winders:

of our issues that we deal with in our current culture and also,

Megan Nilsen:

the men that latch onto this are just Amazing.

Megan Nilsen:

And there's some guys that are like, Oh my gosh, this is powerful.

Megan Nilsen:

So thanks.

Tim Winders:

Hey, you've also go ahead and mention here.

Tim Winders:

I know I got some of your resources pulled up here on my browser,

Tim Winders:

but mention what all you have.

Tim Winders:

Real quick.

Tim Winders:

Cause I've listened to some of your podcast, you do kingdom coaching.

Tim Winders:

Just go ahead and do a

Tim Winders:

little promo here

Megan Nilsen:

you go to my website, MeganBNilson.

Megan Nilsen:

com, N I L S E N.

Megan Nilsen:

com, you'll kind of find the whole umbrella there.

Megan Nilsen:

I have a podcast called Kingdom Life Coaching Podcast, and it's all about how

Megan Nilsen:

can you anchor yourself in your identity In Christ, get aligned with God's voice

Megan Nilsen:

and then activate it into the things that he wants to activate you into.

Megan Nilsen:

It's all about like quieting the noise of the world and really hearing

Megan Nilsen:

God's voice and moving in that space.

Megan Nilsen:

So that's, that's the first thing.

Megan Nilsen:

The second thing would be the two books, a beautiful exchange and untangled

Megan Nilsen:

faith and the companion journal.

Megan Nilsen:

You can read about them on the website.

Megan Nilsen:

Both are available on Amazon, very easy, you know, buy now, it's like

Megan Nilsen:

one click away and this can be in your mailbox in a couple of days.

Megan Nilsen:

and for anybody that's looking for maybe a small group or a book study

Megan Nilsen:

or a Bible study, I really do believe that untangled faith and the journaling

Megan Nilsen:

lens itself To really good small group work or even a larger group work.

Megan Nilsen:

And I created a 10 week guide.

Megan Nilsen:

If you go to untangledfaithstudy.

Megan Nilsen:

com or you can find it on my website, you can just for pennies on the

Megan Nilsen:

dollar, just grab this curriculum.

Megan Nilsen:

I've broken down the entire book.

Megan Nilsen:

I've paired all my podcast episodes that I talk about each chapter.

Megan Nilsen:

I've given you small group questions, reflection questions.

Megan Nilsen:

And so.

Megan Nilsen:

You don't have to do this by yourself.

Megan Nilsen:

I think that's the other thing is some people are like, Oh my gosh, I read

Megan Nilsen:

this book and I did this all by myself.

Megan Nilsen:

I personally think that life is richer.

Megan Nilsen:

Our revelations are richer and deeper when we get to do this in community.

Megan Nilsen:

That's why you and I have podcasts, right?

Megan Nilsen:

Because we're, we value talking with other people.

Megan Nilsen:

And so this book and journal really lends itself to that.

Megan Nilsen:

So check out the podcast, check out the website, the books.

Megan Nilsen:

two free resources that might be interesting to people.

Megan Nilsen:

Number one, if you go to hearinggodbookmark.

Megan Nilsen:

com, hearinggodbookmark.

Megan Nilsen:

com, I have a quick litmus test of how do I know if it's God's voice or my voice?

Megan Nilsen:

Cause that is the number one question I get asked all the time.

Megan Nilsen:

how am I supposed to know the difference?

Megan Nilsen:

Go to that and there's some questions on there that'll help you.

Megan Nilsen:

And the other one would be, if you go on my website on

Megan Nilsen:

the homepage or godsizedream.

Megan Nilsen:

com, you can, I have five questions that you can ask to figure out

Megan Nilsen:

if you have a God sized dream.

Megan Nilsen:

Cause that's the other piece that I'm so passionate about is that

Megan Nilsen:

God's put some fun things inside of you to go seek, go and create.

Megan Nilsen:

But how do you know what that is?

Megan Nilsen:

How do you know what your message is and what you're

Megan Nilsen:

supposed to go do in the world?

Megan Nilsen:

So I've got some questions that could get the, get the ball

Megan Nilsen:

rolling, for your life there too.

Tim Winders:

Very good.

Tim Winders:

We'll include those links down in the notes.

Tim Winders:

I also appreciate you bringing in the seat, go create there

Tim Winders:

in the, at the end there.

Tim Winders:

So check all that out.

Tim Winders:

Final question.

Tim Winders:

Pick one of those words resonates more with you or whatever.

Tim Winders:

Seek, go, or create, and why?

Megan Nilsen:

And why, I have to go with create.

Megan Nilsen:

I think, anytime I can create something, I am just having so much fun.

Megan Nilsen:

I'm in the zone.

Megan Nilsen:

listen, I'm not a gardener.

Megan Nilsen:

Cause I used to think creating was like, I'm going to go

Megan Nilsen:

garden or I'm going to go cook.

Megan Nilsen:

I mean, I I'm not a painter.

Megan Nilsen:

I lose that pictionary.

Megan Nilsen:

I can't draw a dang thing, but I can.

Megan Nilsen:

Right.

Megan Nilsen:

So if you can find something that ushers you into the zone of creating whatever

Megan Nilsen:

that is for you, I think it's super, super powerful and very energizing.

Megan Nilsen:

So I'm all about just go try something, create it, see how it goes.

Megan Nilsen:

And most likely what you create will bless someone else.

Megan Nilsen:

I do believe that to be true.

Megan Nilsen:

It's not just for you.

Tim Winders:

Beautiful.

Tim Winders:

We are created to create.

Tim Winders:

Thank you for sharing, Megan.

Tim Winders:

I appreciate you being a guest here.

Tim Winders:

I appreciate those of you that have listened in, go check out Megan's

Tim Winders:

resources that she mentioned.

Tim Winders:

I listened to about three episodes on her podcast yesterday.

Tim Winders:

They're a great compliment, I think, to what we're doing here.

Tim Winders:

So jump over there and subscribe, listen in, and again, check

Tim Winders:

out all of our other stuff.

Tim Winders:

We are Seat Go Create.

Tim Winders:

We've got new episodes every Monday.

Tim Winders:

They're on YouTube.

Tim Winders:

They're on all your podcast platforms.

Tim Winders:

Make sure you're subscribing and sharing and all those cool things.

Tim Winders:

until next time.

Tim Winders:

Continue being all that you were created to be.