This journaling is for anyone who's hungry.
Megan Nilsen:and curious to really be connected to God, to hear what he has to say.
Megan Nilsen:Someone who really wants to live, by God's grace, by his love and by his guidance.
Megan Nilsen:and someone who's like, but I'm not sure if I really know how to do that.
Megan Nilsen:I'm not sure if I know how to hear his voice.
Megan Nilsen:Does he really speak to me?
Megan Nilsen:Um, uh,
Tim Winders:How do you embrace the richness of life from Broadway tunes to
Tim Winders:the depths of personal transformation while guiding others to discover their
Tim Winders:own paths on today's episode of Seek, Go Create the Leadership Journey.
Tim Winders:We welcome Megan Nielsen, a dynamic content creator, podcaster, life
Tim Winders:coach, and author, passionately committed to helping others
Tim Winders:live deeply connected lives.
Tim Winders:Megan's life journey includes embracing her role as a mother, a wife, a
Tim Winders:community leader, all while fostering deep connections through her love
Tim Winders:for personality assessments, her work with Life Center Ethiopia, and her
Tim Winders:service as an elder in her church.
Tim Winders:Join us as Megan shares her insights on overcoming life's challenges.
Tim Winders:The power of personal connections and how her faith has guided her
Tim Winders:through significant life changes and into helping others navigate their
Tim Winders:own spiritual and personal journeys.
Tim Winders:Megan, welcome to Seek Go
Tim Winders:Create.
Megan Nilsen:you.
Megan Nilsen:That sounds exciting.
Megan Nilsen:I can't wait to listen to that interview.
Megan Nilsen:Who is this person?
Tim Winders:And, but you know, one of the things I just noticed as I
Tim Winders:was going through this and we're going to kind of do some deep dive on
Tim Winders:journaling and some things like that, but all that was woven into that.
Tim Winders:But before we get rolling.
Tim Winders:Other than what I just said, if someone asks you, it might
Tim Winders:depend on where they are.
Tim Winders:If someone asks you what you do, you're out and about or
Tim Winders:something, what do you tell them?
Megan Nilsen:Well it depends on whose perspective it is.
Megan Nilsen:If you ask my kids, what do I do?
Megan Nilsen:They would say she annoys me.
Megan Nilsen:So there, there's that.
Megan Nilsen:My kids are all between 17 and 23.
Megan Nilsen:but I think the first thing that comes to my mind is that I just love
Megan Nilsen:connecting with people, so I love connecting people to each other.
Megan Nilsen:If you've ever done the strengths finders, Clifton strengths, connectedness
Megan Nilsen:is definitely one of my top five.
Megan Nilsen:So as far as what do I do, I'm constantly like.
Megan Nilsen:Diving in with people, asking them deeper questions.
Megan Nilsen:It could be in the grocery store line, which is super annoying for my kids.
Megan Nilsen:but really ultimately I'm just a connector and I love to see
Megan Nilsen:like, how did God design you?
Megan Nilsen:What's your purpose?
Megan Nilsen:And so I do that through motherhood.
Megan Nilsen:I do that in my marriage.
Megan Nilsen:I do that in my church and in my vocation.
Megan Nilsen:So I'm always doing a deep dive with somebody with their personality,
Megan Nilsen:their desires, their dreams.
Megan Nilsen:And that's really what makes me tick all the time.
Tim Winders:I love when people talk strength finders because that is, I
Tim Winders:noticed you, and I like on your website that you actually put all of your,
Tim Winders:uh, personality profile credentials.
Tim Winders:It's like, wow, she's like right out there with all her Enneagram strength
Tim Winders:finders, all this kind of stuff.
Tim Winders:I've got mine in places, but it's a deeper place than you have to
Tim Winders:look for it a little bit more.
Tim Winders:But I string finders and my wife has a background in all this kind of stuff too.
Tim Winders:That's kind of our favorite right now.
Tim Winders:And we both are high strategy, but.
Tim Winders:I have a lot of that connectedness in my top two, which is one of
Tim Winders:the reasons why we're going to have a great conversation here.
Tim Winders:So do the kids roll their eyes when you're in the grocery store and you start having
Tim Winders:like a life type conversation with people?
Megan Nilsen:Yeah.
Megan Nilsen:It's like my kids, my kids, they just like, they start to cringe because they
Megan Nilsen:see me if they, Hey, how's your day?
Megan Nilsen:What are you up to?
Megan Nilsen:And all of a sudden they're like, Oh, Don't do it.
Megan Nilsen:Don't don't, don't ask them, you know, if the kids get in
Megan Nilsen:the car with me and I'm driving.
Megan Nilsen:So, but I've just learned to embrace it.
Megan Nilsen:It's just who I am.
Megan Nilsen:But at the same time, I really do realize that.
Megan Nilsen:It might be offensive and it might be tough for my kids.
Megan Nilsen:So I, I have been known to hold back a time or two, but it is, takes all the
Megan Nilsen:self discipline in the world to do so.
Megan Nilsen:Let me tell you,
Tim Winders:were you always a connector?
Tim Winders:Did you always reach out to people as far back as you can remember?
Tim Winders:Or was that something you just started doing at some point in life?
Megan Nilsen:I think I've always been a connector, but I haven't always had the
Megan Nilsen:confidence to do so if that makes sense.
Megan Nilsen:So I have grown in my 50 plus years on this earth and every
Megan Nilsen:decade I feel like I become more and more who God created me to be.
Megan Nilsen:So in some sense that connector person has always been, she's always existed,
Megan Nilsen:but I've had to sift through a lot of.
Megan Nilsen:self confidence issues, really finding my voice and trusting that when I put
Megan Nilsen:myself out there and I want to connect with somebody, that's a really, like God
Megan Nilsen:given thing versus, some other narrative that I may have believed over the years.
Megan Nilsen:Like they don't really want to know you, you're being too nosy.
Megan Nilsen:I've actually had to work to refine and hone that skill
Megan Nilsen:and see God's design for it.
Megan Nilsen:If that makes sense.
Tim Winders:Cause what's interesting is I think I have
Tim Winders:those similar, I'm wired that way.
Tim Winders:And I have a vivid memory of going with my grandfather to what used to be
Tim Winders:called the old folks home in Aberdeen, Mississippi, and he would go up and down.
Tim Winders:It was just like a one.
Tim Winders:Corridor hall.
Tim Winders:And he would go to each door, look and see if he knew who they were.
Tim Winders:And we would walk in and just start talking to people.
Tim Winders:And he wasn't a deeply, I don't think spiritual man.
Tim Winders:I don't think it was like ministry.
Tim Winders:He just was taught.
Tim Winders:And I was like four years old, five years old, walking up and down with him.
Tim Winders:And I remember thinking that was the way I was or the way I should be or something.
Tim Winders:Like that.
Tim Winders:And, and it kind of, I've always been that way
Tim Winders:since that
Tim Winders:time.
Tim Winders:I don't know if that unlocked it for me.
Tim Winders:I don't know if that gave me the confidence, but what I want to circle
Tim Winders:back to you on is what squelched it along the way, what was some of the
Tim Winders:limiting factors for you stepping into what now you just mentioned 50
Tim Winders:something years in, you were created for in the first place at the foundation.
Megan Nilsen:yeah, I've done a lot of therapy over the years.
Megan Nilsen:I can kind of joke about this at the outset, but truly like I've
Megan Nilsen:had to do some deep work about what the origin of that was.
Megan Nilsen:And I will say, In a measured way that there is some generational
Megan Nilsen:expectations and narratives and like a critical nature that has been
Megan Nilsen:kind of passed on through the years.
Megan Nilsen:So, as you can see, I'm trying to be very diplomatic about how I say
Megan Nilsen:that, in love and honor and respect, but somehow I really embraced.
Megan Nilsen:Like go along to get along type of thing.
Megan Nilsen:I think there was something about, I've actually done a lot of work in
Megan Nilsen:therapy and other settings of like, who is the girl that thinks that she needs
Megan Nilsen:to be perfect and do everything well.
Megan Nilsen:And it needs to be sort of in this window of expectation and acceptable behavior.
Megan Nilsen:And so not like being inquisitive and connecting with other
Megan Nilsen:people is unacceptable behavior.
Megan Nilsen:But, I think that's part of the thing that I've had to really.
Megan Nilsen:Refine and prune and prune and refine over the years is that, I can get
Megan Nilsen:messy and I can ask people deep questions and they can ask me deep
Megan Nilsen:questions and I can say real answers.
Megan Nilsen:but that is not something that.
Megan Nilsen:Came very naturally to me because it felt messy and there must have been some
Megan Nilsen:reason why I adapted to a very measured, like, be careful what you say, be
Megan Nilsen:careful who you are type of, personality.
Megan Nilsen:And it's been really fun and stretching and challenging over these past probably
Megan Nilsen:12 to 15 years to step into the real me and who God has created me to be.
Megan Nilsen:Honoring the past, honoring those generations and knowing that God has
Megan Nilsen:really given me a vision of where some generational chains are being broken.
Megan Nilsen:So that's a much deeper topic, that my husband and I feel
Megan Nilsen:really passionate about.
Megan Nilsen:how are we creating a family, and a family line and a legacy that
Megan Nilsen:is honoring the good that has been passed down over the generations
Megan Nilsen:recognizing where some strongholds have been and breaking those chains.
Megan Nilsen:that's kind of what comes to my mind when you asked me that question,
Tim Winders:So the tough thing about that, my wife, I kind of
Tim Winders:heard some things that I've heard from my wife in the way you were.
Tim Winders:Discussing that.
Tim Winders:And my wife said that when she was young, she was bubbly, happy,
Tim Winders:cheery, all this type stuff.
Tim Winders:And her father who's passed now used to say in no uncertain terms, you
Tim Winders:talk too much, would you shut up?
Tim Winders:you know, even said something to the effect of that she had diarrhea of the
Tim Winders:mouth which she actually remembers that, now 55 years later, and she thinks it
Tim Winders:sort of squelched her that she became more introverted, quiet, things like that.
Tim Winders:So I do think that's interesting.
Tim Winders:And I love what you brought up that you are attempting within your
Tim Winders:family To change those paradigms.
Tim Winders:One of the things I'd love to know now, because I think some of this kind of
Tim Winders:goes into how we communicate with God.
Tim Winders:I think how we're wired and some of those things that you're talking about,
Tim Winders:when we start doing this beautiful exchange journaling, we're going to
Tim Winders:talk about in just a moment, I think it impacts it because some people.
Tim Winders:Have that same mindset when they try to go before the Lord, tell me, give
Tim Winders:me some high points, low points, whatever we might need to know about
Tim Winders:your spiritual journey, your spiritual walk, how you came to be Megan, the
Tim Winders:spiritual powerhouse that you are
Tim Winders:now.
Megan Nilsen:my middle name.
Megan Nilsen:Megan's spiritual powerhouse, Nelson.
Megan Nilsen:you know, I, I'll start with my most recent book and I'm sure
Megan Nilsen:we're going to talk about this.
Megan Nilsen:It's called untangled faith and the subtitle is how
Megan Nilsen:honest conversations with God.
Megan Nilsen:Lead to deeper connections, clarity, and peace.
Megan Nilsen:We've already kind of been hovering around this idea of connections and, really
Megan Nilsen:being connected to God and other people.
Megan Nilsen:And I think as I'm reflecting, even talking to you, when I think about why
Megan Nilsen:are honest conversations important to me.
Megan Nilsen:I think it stems from the question that you just asked me about,
Megan Nilsen:like sharing my voice and it is what I'm thinking and feeling.
Megan Nilsen:Okay.
Megan Nilsen:And I did grow up in the church.
Megan Nilsen:I did grow up in a small town Methodist church, and it was really
Megan Nilsen:lovely because we had to show up.
Megan Nilsen:every week and we learned how to talk to different generations of people.
Megan Nilsen:I really was able to hone that skill of being present and in community.
Megan Nilsen:But somehow along the way, I just sort of became a very measured church girl.
Megan Nilsen:Like this is how she's supposed to be.
Megan Nilsen:And if she's not like this, then something's wrong with me.
Megan Nilsen:That's embarrassing.
Megan Nilsen:That's shameful.
Megan Nilsen:And I have some just moments even of my growing up life where I would,
Megan Nilsen:I was thinking I, I'm being honest.
Megan Nilsen:I'm sharing something really deep and vulnerable and private.
Megan Nilsen:And when I did that, it wasn't received.
Megan Nilsen:with openness and grace.
Megan Nilsen:And so all of a sudden I learned to kind of shut down that interior feeling or that
Megan Nilsen:interior dialogue of like, Oh gosh, if I'm thinking this or experiencing this,
Megan Nilsen:then that must not be okay with God.
Megan Nilsen:And that really is not okay with the church.
Megan Nilsen:So I'm going to have to kind of live this duplicitous life where I kind
Megan Nilsen:of present one way on the outside.
Megan Nilsen:Everything's great.
Megan Nilsen:I'm fine.
Megan Nilsen:I can do this all, but really inside maybe I'm struggling with some things.
Megan Nilsen:So.
Megan Nilsen:To put all this in perspective, 12 years ago, my husband and I,
Megan Nilsen:we had two biological children.
Megan Nilsen:We adopted our youngest two kids from Ethiopia in 2011.
Megan Nilsen:Really, that's a whole journey of hearing from the Lord, inviting
Megan Nilsen:his, really sensing his invitation to grow our family in this way.
Megan Nilsen:And when they came home, as you might imagine, it was very, very difficult.
Megan Nilsen:anybody who's familiar with adoption in any way, shape or
Megan Nilsen:form understands the trauma and the brokenness inherent in that.
Megan Nilsen:Right.
Megan Nilsen:We are designed to grow up with our original caregivers.
Megan Nilsen:And when that is broken for whatever reason, then we have all kinds of
Megan Nilsen:things and attachment, complications.
Megan Nilsen:So they come home, and I'm an absolute wreck.
Megan Nilsen:there's this moment of, okay, God, I thought we heard you and we were
Megan Nilsen:making this, Christian decision to grow our family in this way.
Megan Nilsen:And now life is really hard.
Megan Nilsen:It feels unbearable for All of us in the home because of just the
Megan Nilsen:trauma that everybody's experiencing.
Megan Nilsen:Maybe we didn't hear you right.
Megan Nilsen:Maybe we didn't make the right decision.
Megan Nilsen:And for someone who really values making the right decision,
Megan Nilsen:because that's just going to be an easier way to get through life.
Megan Nilsen:All of a sudden I was like, I think we made a massive mistake.
Megan Nilsen:I don't think we should have done this for all kinds of reasons.
Megan Nilsen:and so I ended up going to counseling.
Megan Nilsen:my sweet husband was just trying every which way to keep the family
Megan Nilsen:afloat, to keep everybody above water.
Megan Nilsen:he was like, I'm doing everything I can.
Megan Nilsen:I think you need to talk to somebody because especially the mom of the
Megan Nilsen:household, if somebody is going down, a rising tide rises all ships, right?
Megan Nilsen:if I'm the matriarch and the temperature of my home and I'm going down, I have
Megan Nilsen:so much anxiety and, low key depression he said, you need to go to counseling.
Megan Nilsen:So I went to counseling.
Megan Nilsen:And I sat on my counselor's couch and I was kind of boohooing
Megan Nilsen:about how hard life was.
Megan Nilsen:And I thought we heard God, I, maybe we didn't hear him right.
Megan Nilsen:I have no idea what to do.
Megan Nilsen:I think we're in just as like, we cannot figure out how to rectify this mess.
Megan Nilsen:And she looked at me and she said, you know, that motherhood's not
Megan Nilsen:your highest and greatest calling.
Megan Nilsen:Right.
Megan Nilsen:And I said, no, I did not know that that's all I'm doing.
Megan Nilsen:We went from two kids to four kids.
Megan Nilsen:And I was actually listening to one of your podcasts with Becky Kaiser recently.
Megan Nilsen:And she was talking about this idea of motherhood and calling and really being
Megan Nilsen:our greatest calling as, as women and as human being is, is to be connected
Megan Nilsen:to the Lord, to be a daughter of the King, to be a son of the King, It's
Megan Nilsen:like, I'm a daughter of the King, then.
Megan Nilsen:everything needs to flow from that.
Megan Nilsen:So that to me in a very long winded answer to your question is how did my
Megan Nilsen:spiritual life, how did I become this quote, spiritual powerhouse, which I
Megan Nilsen:don't feel like I am, but I am putting a lot of energy into it because it
Megan Nilsen:has radically transformed my life.
Megan Nilsen:And probably the verse that comes to mind is in Romans chapter eight
Megan Nilsen:when Paul says the flesh brings death and the spirit brings life.
Megan Nilsen:And I had this moment when I'm sitting on my, on my counselor's couch and I'm
Megan Nilsen:thinking, Everything that I'm holding onto right now, the flesh, the need to
Megan Nilsen:control, the need to, expect a certain behavior from my kids and expect,
Megan Nilsen:this attachments to be going well.
Megan Nilsen:My flesh was really muscling things out and getting very, very tired.
Megan Nilsen:And so in that moment, sitting on her couch, she was giving me
Megan Nilsen:this invitation, this a new way.
Megan Nilsen:It's like, Jesus says, I've come to bring you life.
Megan Nilsen:Like the old is gone.
Megan Nilsen:The new has come.
Megan Nilsen:I had that moment where I'm like, okay, everything I've.
Megan Nilsen:Constructed about who I'm supposed to be in the faith.
Megan Nilsen:And as a human, as a woman in the church, as a mom is kind of being
Megan Nilsen:put up before me and I'm having to deconstruct, what does that look like?
Megan Nilsen:And why is this so hard?
Megan Nilsen:And all of a sudden she said, the spirit's going to bring you life.
Megan Nilsen:When you're filled up, With the love of God and the grace of God, then
Megan Nilsen:it will inform your marriage and your parenting and your creativity,
Megan Nilsen:everything else that flows from that.
Megan Nilsen:So that to me was the most pivotal point when things shifted.
Megan Nilsen:And all of a sudden, so the past 12 years I've been on this journey of, Oh my
Megan Nilsen:goodness, what does that actually mean?
Megan Nilsen:And so I think the honest conversations bit is, okay, I am feeling this.
Megan Nilsen:I'm experiencing this is hard.
Megan Nilsen:This is hard and God is good and he has something to show you and
Megan Nilsen:he has something to teach you.
Megan Nilsen:So that's really like the crux of where I sit in my vocational life, in my
Megan Nilsen:spiritual life now is sitting in that tension, but always trusting towards
Megan Nilsen:like God has something bigger and better than he wants to reveal even in the midst
Megan Nilsen:of the heart and the, the suffering.
Tim Winders:Have you, is that the timeframe when you believe you began
Tim Winders:having conversations with God, period?
Tim Winders:Or were you already conversing with him, but it maybe was just in a different
Tim Winders:way prior to that 2011, 12, 13 timeframe
Tim Winders:you brought up?
Megan Nilsen:I mean, I've been a prayerful person growing up in the
Megan Nilsen:church and I've enjoyed writing ever since I was young, but what I found in
Megan Nilsen:that time specifically was that writing with God, conversing with God, if it's
Megan Nilsen:out loud through your mouth or written through your words on a piece of paper,
Megan Nilsen:became a form of therapy to me because I was able to write out some things.
Megan Nilsen:I think a lot of musicians talk about this, authors, writers.
Megan Nilsen:They have some feelings that are wrapped up and tangled up inside
Megan Nilsen:and it's so healthy to get them out.
Megan Nilsen:So what's the medium that you're going to use to get these things out?
Megan Nilsen:Some people might use physical activity.
Megan Nilsen:So for me it was writing.
Megan Nilsen:And then I began to write with the Lord and say, Hey, this is hard
Megan Nilsen:and I'm confused and I don't know if I'm hearing you right at all.
Megan Nilsen:And then over time.
Megan Nilsen:I was listening to other pastors and people talk about, okay, it's one thing
Megan Nilsen:to write to God, to tell him all the honest things, to have your David moment
Megan Nilsen:when you're just like, Hey, life sucks.
Megan Nilsen:I don't know what to do now.
Megan Nilsen:Then what do you do?
Megan Nilsen:how do you access his wisdom?
Megan Nilsen:How do you listen for his voice?
Megan Nilsen:Cause it's one thing.
Megan Nilsen:Think about any natural relationship you have.
Megan Nilsen:If you had a problem with your wife and you just kind of unleashed on
Megan Nilsen:her and said, Hey, here's all the problems I have and the questions I
Megan Nilsen:have, and I don't know what to do.
Megan Nilsen:And then you turned your back and you walked out and you shut the door.
Megan Nilsen:She wouldn't have a chance to respond or say, I hear you.
Megan Nilsen:Wow.
Megan Nilsen:That's really hard to hear.
Megan Nilsen:And here's my perspective.
Megan Nilsen:So I felt like that's what I was doing with God.
Megan Nilsen:It was like, Hey, this is all of my problems and I'm going to turn around
Megan Nilsen:and walk out and just dump my problems.
Megan Nilsen:and so when he really invited me to start listening for him and then writing down
Megan Nilsen:what I was hearing, the impressions, the visions that were coming to me, that's
Megan Nilsen:what opened up this whole new world of, wow, you can really access God's wisdom
Megan Nilsen:if you're paying attention and you're super honest and you're laying it out
Megan Nilsen:there and then you're asking for his perspective to lay over top of that.
Megan Nilsen:That's really where the journaling came in, that I feel so passionate
Megan Nilsen:about cause I love seeing people equipped to hear God for themselves.
Megan Nilsen:We know more than we think we know.
Megan Nilsen:We can hear him better than we think we can hear him.
Megan Nilsen:Cause that's probably the biggest question I get is how do I know
Megan Nilsen:if it's God's voice or my voice?
Megan Nilsen:it feels really, really powerful.
Megan Nilsen:At least to me, it has been in a lot of people I've worked with.
Tim Winders:I do.
Tim Winders:I want us to talk about even some of the practical aspects of this
Tim Winders:beautiful exchange journaling.
Tim Winders:However.
Tim Winders:I do think there is a soul or mindset or whatever we want to call it.
Tim Winders:perspective that needs to be addressed.
Tim Winders:Cause there are people that one, they don't feel worthy to.
Tim Winders:Come before the Lord There is what you just brought up, which is maybe you were
Tim Winders:taught to be a certain way growing up.
Tim Winders:Also, unfortunately, I think there's some gender things that factor into this.
Tim Winders:You mentioned, I heard you say church girl and woman in the church.
Tim Winders:you know what, I don't ever say man in the church.
Tim Winders:I don't ever bring that up.
Tim Winders:It's like, I'm just.
Tim Winders:So there are gender things that come into play here, whether
Tim Winders:we want to admit it or not.
Tim Winders:And I'm not saying they're good, but it's just the way it is.
Tim Winders:But you brought up something in the book, somewhere in the middle of the book.
Tim Winders:I did read Untangled Faith over the last few days.
Tim Winders:You brought up the aspect of being an orphan.
Tim Winders:And I think all of those things have varying degrees of orphan ism.
Tim Winders:In them and I think it's so cool that y'all also have adopted because I think
Tim Winders:the opposite of an orphan is someone who's been adopted and so I don't know
Tim Winders:if there's going to be a question here.
Tim Winders:Maybe it's just, can you talk more about.
Tim Winders:Orphan or, or do anything that people need to do in preparation to begin
Tim Winders:this process that a lot of people may struggle with sitting down and
Tim Winders:actually communicating and connecting with God, their heavenly father.
Megan Nilsen:Yeah.
Tim Winders:again, not a question there, any
Tim Winders:based on what I just said.
Megan Nilsen:in fact, as you were speaking, I feel like I'm
Megan Nilsen:getting a little emotional.
Megan Nilsen:I could feel the tears kind of like right behind my eyes because adoption,
Megan Nilsen:being an adoptive mom and adopting our kids has been the single biggest
Megan Nilsen:experience in my life to really understand even a fraction of a level of how much
Megan Nilsen:God loves us and what it must be like for him when we turn our backs on him.
Megan Nilsen:And.
Megan Nilsen:You know, kind of before I say anything more, I really do want to honor, and I
Megan Nilsen:really respect the story of the actual orphan of people on this earth who have,
Megan Nilsen:for whatever reason are not growing up in a loving home with their original
Megan Nilsen:caregiver, their original mother and father, because that is a brokenness
Megan Nilsen:that is so deep and it really can break the human spirit in a lot of ways.
Megan Nilsen:So, I know that every story is very different and so I just want to
Megan Nilsen:honor that and whatever I say from my perspective is just our experience and I
Megan Nilsen:recognize that it can be very complicated and nuanced for a lot of people.
Megan Nilsen:But when we brought our children home, they were five and seven, a boy and a
Megan Nilsen:girl and they had been actually with their mother for quite some time of several
Megan Nilsen:years growing up and she had relinquished them for extreme poverty and, illness.
Megan Nilsen:And when they came home, it was just so difficult because they didn't understand
Megan Nilsen:That they were part of a new family, of a new system, that everything that we have,
Megan Nilsen:our name, any material possessions, our love is now theirs by extension because
Megan Nilsen:they have been grafted into this family.
Megan Nilsen:And you could just see them fighting against this because the human spirit is
Megan Nilsen:so, we just want to protect ourselves.
Megan Nilsen:if you've been hurt, neglected and abandoned at one point, then
Megan Nilsen:what does the human spirit do?
Megan Nilsen:Our human spirit wants to build up the wall because we
Megan Nilsen:don't want to be hurt again.
Megan Nilsen:I think anybody listening has experienced that in life, either with a love
Megan Nilsen:relationship or something like that.
Megan Nilsen:So to build that trust, For, as a parent perspective to build the trust
Megan Nilsen:of my kids has been our life's work.
Megan Nilsen:And even now they're 17 and 19.
Megan Nilsen:And there are still plenty of moments where I see this, interaction, where
Megan Nilsen:maybe the trust isn't totally there and there's not that vulnerability.
Megan Nilsen:I listened to a pastor, years ago, and this is kind of what you're
Megan Nilsen:referring to in the book that said.
Megan Nilsen:What is the difference between a child of God?
Megan Nilsen:How do you know when you're kind of acting in that as a child of
Megan Nilsen:God versus the orphan spirit?
Megan Nilsen:And he said something very simple, but very profound.
Megan Nilsen:At least it was to me.
Megan Nilsen:He said, the orphan has a high.
Megan Nilsen:Need for control and a low level of trust because you've been burned, so to speak.
Megan Nilsen:So you don't know who you can trust.
Megan Nilsen:You need to control everything about your life and that's
Megan Nilsen:how you'll be okay and fine.
Megan Nilsen:But the child of God has a high level of trust in the love and the
Megan Nilsen:resources around them and a low need to control their environment
Megan Nilsen:and everybody else around them.
Megan Nilsen:And I think, yes, you can talk about this in the very literal, like.
Megan Nilsen:Orphan sense, but if you're talking in a spiritual sense, that to me has been
Megan Nilsen:a huge topic and really a theme that has transformed my spirituality because
Megan Nilsen:every day I'm thinking, okay, am I acting like, do I have an orphan spirit
Megan Nilsen:where I'm trying to kind of trying to control my surroundings, control the
Megan Nilsen:agenda, control the people around me because I don't really trust either
Megan Nilsen:God's faithfulness, God's provision.
Megan Nilsen:Or I don't trust the other people to kind of, you know, do
Megan Nilsen:their part and live their life.
Megan Nilsen:And if the answer, if I, if I start to get revelation that I'm trying to control and
Megan Nilsen:I'd have a low level of trust, then I have this moment where I can go, okay, how can
Megan Nilsen:I trust God more and release the control?
Megan Nilsen:Because when I try to control things, it gets very, very,
Megan Nilsen:just tense and exhausting.
Megan Nilsen:Anxiety producing.
Megan Nilsen:And if Jesus came to give us peace and abundant life, then at least to
Megan Nilsen:me, I have this recognition every day.
Megan Nilsen:Which way am I going to go?
Megan Nilsen:Am I going to go for a deeper trust in God, releasing the control back to him?
Megan Nilsen:Or am I going to take it all back once again?
Tim Winders:interesting about it, and I don't think I want us to go down this
Tim Winders:rabbit hole, is that I know that you do quite a bit with personality profiles,
Tim Winders:and again, disc strength finders, Enneagram, all those type things.
Tim Winders:It is very easy for us to make probably sweeping comments.
Tim Winders:I do think trust is a foundational issue that you brought up, but we
Tim Winders:also have this factor of all of us are wired in such different Ways at
Tim Winders:times, and there are personalities.
Tim Winders:My wife and I were just discussing this.
Tim Winders:We've been together 35 years.
Tim Winders:And yesterday we had a bit of a come to Jesus conversation where we're both
Tim Winders:working on some new projects, even in our sixties, we're working on some new
Tim Winders:projects and she was working on it.
Tim Winders:And I told her this, it didn't go well initially, but she came around later
Tim Winders:and she spent some time with the Lord this morning and said, by the way,
Tim Winders:God said you were right, which I just want to mark it down as that was,
Tim Winders:you know, possibly, possibly a first.
Tim Winders:Well, what she was doing is she was, she was kind of grinding out
Tim Winders:this Project instead of enjoying the journey and being joyful along the way.
Tim Winders:And one of the things we're purposing is to be more joyful with
Tim Winders:all that we're doing in our lives.
Tim Winders:So anyway, personalities still factor into it.
Tim Winders:But I do want to start going into the power of writing stuff down of journaling.
Tim Winders:And before we get close to that, though, I want to ask one more question before we
Tim Winders:get to it, because many people will say.
Tim Winders:I don't have time when I sit down, I've got all these things going through
Tim Winders:my mind and I'll state it this way.
Tim Winders:And then I'll just let you kind of talk more about it.
Tim Winders:But I believe we talk about it quite a bit here on the show
Tim Winders:that we all are leading and.
Tim Winders:2024 when we're recording this distracted lives, we've got
Tim Winders:so many things distracting us.
Tim Winders:So many things coming at us and we allow that it's still up to us.
Tim Winders:We can control that.
Tim Winders:And I think that's what prevents a lot of people from getting started.
Tim Winders:With this process, any comment on this, on just the
Tim Winders:distractedness of the way we live?
Megan Nilsen:Amen.
Megan Nilsen:It's a real simple comment.
Megan Nilsen:yeah, we're distracted.
Megan Nilsen:I think that's a tale as old as time, but with the advancement of technology
Megan Nilsen:and the 24 seven noise access to information, I feel like right now is
Megan Nilsen:probably an era in history in which.
Megan Nilsen:We have to access self control more than ever.
Megan Nilsen:self control is a fruit of the spirit.
Megan Nilsen:I am reminded of that all the time.
Megan Nilsen:And I like to remind people of that because when we have access
Megan Nilsen:to so much at our fingertips, any distraction, anything that's going
Megan Nilsen:to entertain us, even educate us, and we can just scroll through Tik TOK.
Megan Nilsen:and my kids are always saying, but mom, I'm learning things.
Megan Nilsen:Well, that's great.
Megan Nilsen:That you're learning things, but it's also like a drug.
Megan Nilsen:It's kind of this like dopamine hit where it's like a new thing, a new
Megan Nilsen:thing, a new thing all the time.
Megan Nilsen:So what happens then is we're out of practice.
Megan Nilsen:We're out of practice of being quiet and still, and sitting and listening.
Megan Nilsen:And our kids nowadays don't even really know what it means to be bored.
Megan Nilsen:Because if they have access to a smartphone, so take what you will
Megan Nilsen:there, decide when that is appropriate for you and your family, but you
Megan Nilsen:have access to just something that's going to be like a drug at any time.
Megan Nilsen:I don't have to think that deeply because I think one of the things
Megan Nilsen:we're battling against is when I sit down and I really consider my life
Megan Nilsen:and I start to go, okay, God, Wow.
Megan Nilsen:This is what I'm feeling.
Megan Nilsen:This is what I'm experiencing.
Megan Nilsen:That is not an easy task.
Megan Nilsen:I mean, that is something that you could, it could almost get harder before it
Megan Nilsen:gets easier because you're accessing some deep and potentially painful places.
Megan Nilsen:Why would I want to do that?
Megan Nilsen:Why wouldn't I want to just like numb my brain and numb my heart?
Megan Nilsen:I don't have to deal with that.
Megan Nilsen:So I think what happens in writing and, and, and I'm not even talking
Megan Nilsen:about typing, I'm So my argument is that people pick up an actual pen.
Megan Nilsen:and a piece of paper and start writing things down, because there's something
Megan Nilsen:very, scientific neurological that happens in your brain that begins to
Megan Nilsen:connect those synapses, your head and your heart that doesn't happen when you're
Megan Nilsen:kind of distracted in that noisy world.
Megan Nilsen:so I think it's super, super powerful to pick up a pen and sit down And
Megan Nilsen:it doesn't even take that long.
Megan Nilsen:It can take five minutes.
Megan Nilsen:It doesn't have to take a long time.
Megan Nilsen:Cause a lot of people say, I don't have time.
Megan Nilsen:Obviously I don't have time is a fantastic excuse.
Megan Nilsen:Cause we make time for things that are important to us.
Megan Nilsen:We know that, right?
Megan Nilsen:It's like, I don't have time to sit down and watch the entire seasons of Ted Lasso.
Megan Nilsen:Well, somehow you made the time to do that.
Megan Nilsen:But, we make time for what we value.
Megan Nilsen:So then I would put the question back on somebody, then what do you value?
Megan Nilsen:If you value being a person who is growth minded, growth oriented, you
Megan Nilsen:want to stay connected to the people in your life and to the God that you
Megan Nilsen:believe in, then I would argue that it's going to take some time and some
Megan Nilsen:stillness to get to the place where that's really powerful connection.
Tim Winders:I think you brought up, you hit multiple nerves that I've had to
Tim Winders:address over the last handful of years.
Tim Winders:And I think.
Tim Winders:In those comments, you just made the first one for me.
Tim Winders:And when I work with leaders and leadership organizations,
Tim Winders:this is one of the things I am promoting as much as anything.
Tim Winders:And that is just the need to be still and quiet, whatever that means.
Tim Winders:That's different for different people.
Tim Winders:The second piece of it, and I don't know that I saw it.
Tim Winders:In reading the book, maybe I missed it.
Tim Winders:And I do love that you are a pen and paper, pencil, paper, whatever, because
Tim Winders:I've tried to do some digital things.
Tim Winders:I've tried to be cleaner, efficient, et cetera.
Tim Winders:And I just don't, and also have bad penmanship, my penmanship.
Tim Winders:It makes it, I write in tongues.
Tim Winders:And so I do need interpretation typically when I do that.
Tim Winders:And so it makes it tough.
Tim Winders:One thing I've noticed about myself, I used to think I was a multitasker.
Tim Winders:I cannot multitask when I'm writing, especially pen to paper.
Tim Winders:And I think when we're talking about honest conversations, especially
Tim Winders:with our creator, it's important for us to be as focused as possible.
Tim Winders:And so somewhere along the way, you came up with this
Tim Winders:beautiful exchange journaling, and that is built and developed.
Tim Winders:Tell a little bit more about the origin of that and kind of how that has continued
Tim Winders:to grow and
Megan Nilsen:that?
Megan Nilsen:What does that mean?
Megan Nilsen:What is this thing?
Megan Nilsen:before I talk about beautiful exchange journaling, I had this moment because
Megan Nilsen:your podcast is seek, go create, correct?
Megan Nilsen:So I feel like when you have a pen and a piece of paper,
Megan Nilsen:you're in the seeking posture.
Megan Nilsen:And then when you flip over to create, Open up your computer and start writing
Megan Nilsen:like that to me, if I'm seeking, I've got a pen and a piece of paper and
Megan Nilsen:I'm doing some really deep inner work and really sussing out untangling
Megan Nilsen:some of the things that are going on.
Megan Nilsen:And then when God begins to give revelation and ideas.
Megan Nilsen:I'm going to open up my computer and I'm going to start to create.
Megan Nilsen:I felt like a really interesting connection for me, but
Megan Nilsen:beautiful exchange journaling.
Megan Nilsen:Okay.
Megan Nilsen:This is, there's two parts to the origin here.
Megan Nilsen:Number one is when I was writing my first book called the beautiful exchange.
Megan Nilsen:I couldn't not write it.
Megan Nilsen:This was one of those things where I was going through the spiritual
Megan Nilsen:transformation myself and the adoption narrative is kind of the through
Megan Nilsen:line of this book, but ultimately the phrase of beautiful exchange.
Megan Nilsen:Is what I felt like God was giving to me.
Megan Nilsen:His, the tagline is responding to God's invitation for more.
Megan Nilsen:So I was in this moment, like I've kind of described where he's saying,
Megan Nilsen:you're holding onto things so tightly.
Megan Nilsen:You think they're going to bring you fulfillment.
Megan Nilsen:You think they're going to bring you success or purpose, but what I'm offering
Megan Nilsen:you, Megan, and I would suggest that he might be saying this to some of your
Megan Nilsen:listeners too, is if you will release that to me, if you will open up your hands and
Megan Nilsen:your heart Give me the things that you're trying to take so much control over.
Megan Nilsen:I will actually exchange those things for my spirit, my ways, my plans for you.
Megan Nilsen:So to me, a beautiful exchange is what God is offering us that is far
Megan Nilsen:beyond what we could ask or imagine.
Megan Nilsen:He says this in scripture and he wants to exchange the things that we ask.
Megan Nilsen:Are limited thinking for his abundance.
Megan Nilsen:So that's the idea of the beautiful exchange.
Megan Nilsen:So then as I'm growing over these past years in my own spiritual formation,
Megan Nilsen:I'm starting to hear this pastor start talking about two way journaling.
Megan Nilsen:And he's saying, listen, you can write out your thoughts to God.
Megan Nilsen:Ask him a question, pour out your ideas and your thinking to him.
Megan Nilsen:And then you stop and you listen and you kind of tune to the Holy
Megan Nilsen:Spirit and you say, okay, God, what's your perspective here?
Megan Nilsen:What is your kingdom, wisdom, and grace?
Megan Nilsen:And, just counsel over what I'm experiencing.
Megan Nilsen:And it's this idea of, Oh, it's going two ways now.
Megan Nilsen:It's not just me talking to God, talk, talk, talk, and then shut the door.
Megan Nilsen:It's okay.
Megan Nilsen:I'm going to pour out my heart.
Megan Nilsen:I am his child.
Megan Nilsen:he is a heavenly father.
Megan Nilsen:He's a good father who wants to listen to me and he offers good things to his kids.
Megan Nilsen:And then.
Megan Nilsen:In humility and vulnerability, I sit and listen and that's the two way part.
Megan Nilsen:Now what am I experiencing?
Megan Nilsen:what impressions are coming to my mind from the Holy Spirit that I can
Megan Nilsen:begin to write down that is activating truth in my life, that is activating
Megan Nilsen:guidance and counsel and a way forward.
Megan Nilsen:And so that's this idea of two way journaling.
Megan Nilsen:I kind of overlaid the beautiful exchange.
Megan Nilsen:Cause to me, they felt very much related.
Megan Nilsen:Like I'm releasing the things of anxiety that my flesh is holding on to.
Megan Nilsen:And I'm exchanging that as I'm listening for your spirit.
Megan Nilsen:And then the last thing I'll say about this, which is the journal that
Megan Nilsen:I just published last year is that I woke up one morning and I don't know
Megan Nilsen:how you are as, as a creative, but a lot of times for me, I will just
Megan Nilsen:ideas will come out of quote nowhere.
Megan Nilsen:I'm a believer.
Megan Nilsen:I'm going to say it's coming from God.
Megan Nilsen:So I wake up one morning a couple of years ago and I have been
Megan Nilsen:practicing this two way journaling and I just felt like the whole rest
Megan Nilsen:of this blueprint for journaling was like downloaded into my head.
Megan Nilsen:And so I thought, okay, if I write.
Megan Nilsen:And then I listen, the strategist in me, we've discussed the strategy
Megan Nilsen:piece of the CliftonStrengths.
Megan Nilsen:I'm like, okay, what do I do with this now?
Megan Nilsen:What are people supposed to do with the kingdom wisdom that they receive?
Megan Nilsen:And so that's the rest of the journaling practice is now that you've.
Megan Nilsen:Received from the Lord.
Megan Nilsen:What is the truth that he wants to give you?
Megan Nilsen:What is the counseling wants to give you moving forward?
Megan Nilsen:And I felt very passionate about activating people into taking
Megan Nilsen:bold steps of faith towards what he's inviting you to do.
Tim Winders:it does.
Tim Winders:And the reason that is, it's so cool to me as I was reading it, I was realizing that.
Tim Winders:I've been doing sort of that for some time.
Tim Winders:If one looks at my journal, it kind of goes like this.
Tim Winders:There's me sometimes dumping, sometimes showing gratitude, sometimes just, I
Tim Winders:don't want to say diarying, but you know, maybe like being sort of diary type stuff.
Tim Winders:Just Talking, kind of getting some stuff out of my head.
Tim Winders:There's two squiggly lines on the page.
Tim Winders:And beneath the squiggly lines, it's in my view, it's God responding to me and
Tim Winders:with instruction and things like that.
Tim Winders:I guess it kind of was some good confirmation for me.
Tim Winders:It's like, Oh, maybe I'm doing some cool stuff and doing something right here.
Tim Winders:But one of the things Megan, I'd like to maybe address, because you mentioned
Tim Winders:it in the book, that journaling is a trigger word for some people.
Tim Winders:Good or bad.
Tim Winders:I mean, there's some people that boy, they love to talk about their journaling.
Tim Winders:I think some people talk about journaling more than they actually do it.
Tim Winders:We won't get into that here.
Tim Winders:and then some people do it, do it, do it, and it's become habit.
Tim Winders:But maybe, like you said, there isn't the reflective, you know,
Tim Winders:transformation that should come from it.
Tim Winders:Talk about why it's a trigger and the challenge that some people have.
Tim Winders:and then we're going to talk as we finish up with some technique and some things
Megan Nilsen:Yeah, it is a trigger.
Megan Nilsen:In fact, I have a chapter in the book that you're referring to.
Megan Nilsen:It's something about like, tackling journal phobia or something
Megan Nilsen:because, honestly, it is a trigger addressing journal phobia.
Megan Nilsen:That's the chapter.
Megan Nilsen:And I'm laughing because, this is my husband, he's like, I don't journal.
Megan Nilsen:I don't really write.
Megan Nilsen:and he heard me one time I was hosting a Christmas event for some women and I
Megan Nilsen:was leading them through this type of journaling around the Advent season.
Megan Nilsen:And he was, my darling husband was helping like serve coffee and helping me with
Megan Nilsen:all the logistics and things like that.
Megan Nilsen:So he was overhearing.
Megan Nilsen:As I guided women through this journaling practice.
Megan Nilsen:And as we were leaving the venue and we're all packed up, he
Megan Nilsen:said, wow, that's really cool.
Megan Nilsen:When you asked me if I would journal, he's like, I don't really want to write stuff
Megan Nilsen:down, but now that I've seen you guide someone through it, Well, I could do that.
Megan Nilsen:So I think one of the triggers and maybe barriers to journaling
Megan Nilsen:this, this word is that people are like, I'm not really a writer.
Megan Nilsen:I don't really know what to write.
Megan Nilsen:You're staring at a blank page.
Megan Nilsen:There's nothing on the page and all of a sudden your mind is jammed
Megan Nilsen:up with all kinds of thoughts.
Megan Nilsen:And so what I think, why I find this guided journaling helpful
Megan Nilsen:or even prompts is that it just, it has a way of settling down.
Megan Nilsen:the rate of our thoughts, and I actually offered in episode 50 of my podcast,
Megan Nilsen:the kingdom life coaching podcast, actually recorded myself guiding
Megan Nilsen:someone through this journaling.
Megan Nilsen:Because when you have someone just leading you by the hand, it's not
Megan Nilsen:even like I'm telling you where to go.
Megan Nilsen:I'm just giving you the next step and the next step.
Megan Nilsen:There's something that might settle your spirit.
Megan Nilsen:Like, Oh, and now she's asking me to think about this and write about this.
Megan Nilsen:And it's not this overwhelming blank page.
Megan Nilsen:That's like, I don't even know what to write.
Megan Nilsen:I have so many things going on.
Megan Nilsen:I can't access those thoughts.
Megan Nilsen:So boom, I'm just going to walk away.
Megan Nilsen:So it can be overwhelming and you're right.
Megan Nilsen:it's polarizing.
Megan Nilsen:Some people are like, Oh my gosh, I love journaling.
Megan Nilsen:I've journaling since I was a little kid.
Megan Nilsen:This is the best thing I can ever think to do.
Megan Nilsen:And some people are like, absolutely not.
Megan Nilsen:And if you're an absolutely not, I would just encourage you.
Megan Nilsen:Maybe to give it a try.
Megan Nilsen:It's like, you know, things that are good for you, we're supposed
Megan Nilsen:to try these things in life.
Megan Nilsen:And if it really doesn't work for you, that's okay.
Megan Nilsen:The only thing I would say as an encouragement for someone in that
Megan Nilsen:space is if journaling, if writing things down with God is kind of not
Megan Nilsen:your jam, then I would ask you what is.
Megan Nilsen:Is it going for a walk?
Megan Nilsen:Is it, listening to music?
Megan Nilsen:Like, how will you process your thoughts with God and hear from him?
Megan Nilsen:That's what you have to figure out.
Tim Winders:I love that you said that because so many people attempt to make
Tim Winders:everything formulaic or create a doctrine around it or something like that.
Tim Winders:So let's do this.
Tim Winders:We've got a few minutes left here.
Tim Winders:Get someone started.
Tim Winders:Let's just say someone they've heard the journaling thing.
Tim Winders:They know they need to do it.
Tim Winders:You've got some resources for people.
Tim Winders:We can talk about those here, but just let's kind of get someone
Tim Winders:started because I do agree.
Tim Winders:It's something that even hard chargers leader type people, they
Tim Winders:need to sit down, be still and quiet.
Tim Winders:And this is a practice that can help them.
Tim Winders:So, get us started.
Megan Nilsen:Get us started.
Megan Nilsen:Well, I think the first step in any new practice or anything that's
Megan Nilsen:going to challenge us is to really buy into why we're doing this.
Megan Nilsen:So say you're going to go to the gym and start lifting weights and you're
Megan Nilsen:like, Oh, I've heard that it's good for me, but I don't really know.
Megan Nilsen:you have to trust that the experience is going to be good for it's painful,
Megan Nilsen:whether it's uncomfortable or not.
Megan Nilsen:That's what I would say about journaling.
Megan Nilsen:You might have these preconceived notions about like, ugh, I don't really do that.
Megan Nilsen:So I just want to make the case that it's really good for
Megan Nilsen:human beings to try new things.
Megan Nilsen:to get started, all you really need is a notebook and a pen and your own thoughts.
Megan Nilsen:And so my very foundational question for you would be, is there anything
Megan Nilsen:in your life right now that is confusing or overwhelming to you?
Megan Nilsen:If the answer is yes.
Megan Nilsen:I'm a business owner.
Megan Nilsen:I don't know what decision to make about my business.
Megan Nilsen:I'm in a marriage and I don't really know what to do with this relationship.
Megan Nilsen:I'm parenting my kids and I'm not exactly sure which way to go
Megan Nilsen:as far as, how to parent them.
Megan Nilsen:Well, then you are a person who is.
Megan Nilsen:Well positioned to journal because you have something on your heart that if you
Megan Nilsen:write it down, if you start to discover what it is, name it and be honest about
Megan Nilsen:it, you're bringing it to the light.
Megan Nilsen:I think that's what journaling is.
Megan Nilsen:It's bringing something to the light that is actually more comfortable
Megan Nilsen:to keep hidden and locked away.
Megan Nilsen:And we know that things that are hidden in the dark.
Megan Nilsen:Begin to grow mold and begin to grow bacteria.
Megan Nilsen:And there are unhealthy things that happen when, when thoughts
Megan Nilsen:are left in dark places.
Megan Nilsen:So you don't necessarily have to announce to the world what you're thinking about.
Megan Nilsen:This is a place where you just get to go with your own thoughts and with
Megan Nilsen:the God who loves you and created you and just begin to ask him.
Megan Nilsen:What do you want to show me about this?
Megan Nilsen:And then you have to trust that he will speak to you, that
Megan Nilsen:thoughts will come to your mind.
Megan Nilsen:And then that's the practice of how do I discern which thoughts are
Megan Nilsen:his thoughts and my, my thoughts.
Megan Nilsen:You have to start to read the Bible and understand his voice and be in
Megan Nilsen:Christian community and a healthy space where you're, I mean this, we could
Megan Nilsen:talk about this for a whole other hour, but just to get started, trust that you
Megan Nilsen:have something that's bothering you.
Megan Nilsen:if you write it down and you name it.
Megan Nilsen:outright, then God can begin to speak to you about that thing.
Megan Nilsen:And it's not as overwhelming.
Megan Nilsen:I hope it's not as overwhelming as it might seem.
Tim Winders:it's interesting when something's bothering
Tim Winders:you, you brought that up.
Tim Winders:I think during COVID, I looked back at my journals during COVID and I was
Tim Winders:just super confused about, and I think it was a lot of crying out, Lord,
Tim Winders:what's going on, what's happening?
Tim Winders:And basically, I think the Lord responded, said, what, why
Tim Winders:does any of this surprise you?
Tim Winders:This is the type world we're in.
Tim Winders:There's just stuff going on.
Tim Winders:And so I felt, maybe rebuked a little bit on that, but how does someone know?
Tim Winders:And this is a little bit of a loaded question, but how does
Tim Winders:someone know measure gauge, whatever, if they're doing it.
Tim Winders:Well, or if they're progressing or what are some clues along the way
Tim Winders:that someone could say, you know what, this is actually, this is bringing me
Tim Winders:closer to, as you said, clarity and peace in the subtitle of your book.
Megan Nilsen:So the question is, how does anyone know they're doing this?
Megan Nilsen:Well, the short answer I can, that the most succinct answer
Megan Nilsen:that I can say is doing it.
Megan Nilsen:Well, you're doing life well.
Megan Nilsen:When you can see the fruit, when you can see that, that you are more
Megan Nilsen:deeply connected to God and other people to yourself and to a fulfilling
Megan Nilsen:vision and purpose for your life.
Megan Nilsen:you might be struggling if you don't see the fruit, if it feels like some real
Megan Nilsen:dead ends and some disconnectedness in your life to your own purpose, to your
Megan Nilsen:own fulfillment, to the people around you.
Megan Nilsen:So I don't think it's necessarily rocket science.
Megan Nilsen:I actually think, you know, Brene Brown is a very, well spoken.
Megan Nilsen:influencer in this space, but the more vulnerable you can
Megan Nilsen:be, the more honest you can be.
Megan Nilsen:and really discarding shame and not withholding yourself cause you're
Megan Nilsen:embarrassed or you feel shame about it.
Megan Nilsen:If you can go after some things and just say, you know what?
Megan Nilsen:and just name it like this is embarrassing to say, and I'm not really sure if I want
Megan Nilsen:to say this out loud, but I trust that if I do good things are going to happen,
Megan Nilsen:I'm going to have more self awareness.
Megan Nilsen:Other people are going to understand me better than I think that is how, you know,
Megan Nilsen:if you're doing it well in your words.
Tim Winders:I think one thing that I've noticed,
Tim Winders:you hear athletes at times talk about being in
Tim Winders:The zone and sometimes in a sport that's very fast, they'll say
Tim Winders:that it slows down when they're in
Tim Winders:that zone.
Tim Winders:I think to quote Ferris Bueller, that life comes at us pretty fast for me.
Tim Winders:This practice, and when I do it, well, things tend to slow down and
Tim Winders:I feel as if I'm just in the zone and I don't even know, you know,
Tim Winders:defining this being at peace, I think is always tough, but it's like when
Tim Winders:you're there, you know it, but when you're not, you may not understand it.
Tim Winders:And I, think that's what it is.
Tim Winders:for me is just kind of being in the zone and you brought up something.
Tim Winders:I had this word down that you, in your book, you talked about it, that you can
Tim Winders:be maybe at times sarcastic and all that.
Tim Winders:And to me, I noticed when I'm really doing.
Tim Winders:Journaling and all that.
Tim Winders:My heart is softer.
Megan Nilsen:Mm hmm.
Tim Winders:It's just I have a softer heart and I'm more
Tim Winders:compassionate and loving to people.
Megan Nilsen:I love that in the zone.
Megan Nilsen:I love it because, and if you want to be in the zone, find things, find systems and
Megan Nilsen:routines and people and places that invite you into, that usher you into the zone.
Megan Nilsen:So for me, as someone who really processes things verbally out loud,
Megan Nilsen:the zone can be speaking or journaling because that's how I'm wired and
Megan Nilsen:you had mentioned that earlier.
Megan Nilsen:We have different personalities, we have different wiring.
Megan Nilsen:So find the thing, the systems, the people, the places really guide
Megan Nilsen:you into your zone and press into that, like stay there, build that.
Megan Nilsen:That's a good thing to build.
Tim Winders:Megan, I noticed that most of your resources are geared towards female.
Tim Winders:Would you say that's your primary audience?
Tim Winders:I got, I got a lot from the book myself.
Tim Winders:I mean, I just read the book, but tell, tell us who the book is for.
Tim Winders:Go ahead and do that.
Tim Winders:And then go ahead and tell us where to find all your resources.
Megan Nilsen:Yeah.
Megan Nilsen:It's funny.
Megan Nilsen:I don't know why everybody likes to take female teachers and speakers
Megan Nilsen:and say, you must speak to females.
Megan Nilsen:Right.
Megan Nilsen:I know you've talked about this on your podcast before
Megan Nilsen:and I'm like, no, it's not just
Megan Nilsen:if you, okay.
Megan Nilsen:Let me ask you this.
Megan Nilsen:if God speaks to his people, does he just speak to women?
Megan Nilsen:Well, don't answer that.
Megan Nilsen:Cause he might.
Megan Nilsen:No, I'm just kidding.
Tim Winders:Be
Tim Winders:careful.
Tim Winders:Be Careful.
Tim Winders:That's a landmine.
Megan Nilsen:so this book and this journaling is for anyone who's hungry.
Megan Nilsen:and curious to really be connected to God, to hear what he has to say.
Megan Nilsen:Someone who really wants to live, by God's grace, by his love and by his guidance.
Megan Nilsen:and someone who's like, but I'm not sure if I really know how to do that.
Megan Nilsen:I'm not sure if I know how to hear his voice.
Megan Nilsen:Does he really speak to me?
Megan Nilsen:How could I access this thing that you're talking about?
Megan Nilsen:I feel like this is book is a very foundational book for someone who's kind
Megan Nilsen:of growing in the things of the spirit, growing in the things of hearing from
Megan Nilsen:God, or even just beginning because it's going to just give you a lot of
Megan Nilsen:foundational understanding of who God is, what his voice sounds like, and how you
Megan Nilsen:can begin to experience this for yourself.
Megan Nilsen:does that sound pretty good?
Megan Nilsen:Having read the book yourself?
Tim Winders:It does.
Tim Winders:And listen, let's just, I'll, I'll say it a little more bluntly.
Tim Winders:Everyone needs to position themselves so they can hear God's voice.
Tim Winders:Period.
Tim Winders:and we all need to be working on that probably more than we currently do.
Tim Winders:And any tool or resource that helps, I think
Tim Winders:has value.
Tim Winders:And I do, I get a little bit annoyed.
Tim Winders:Gosh, I don't want to go down here.
Tim Winders:I do get a little bit annoyed with the male, female, I try to address it some,
Tim Winders:but I don't know that I do it well.
Tim Winders:And I sometimes maybe even stir the pot more, but you know, it's Part
Tim Winders:of our issues that we deal with in our current culture and also,
Megan Nilsen:the men that latch onto this are just Amazing.
Megan Nilsen:And there's some guys that are like, Oh my gosh, this is powerful.
Megan Nilsen:So thanks.
Tim Winders:Hey, you've also go ahead and mention here.
Tim Winders:I know I got some of your resources pulled up here on my browser,
Tim Winders:but mention what all you have.
Tim Winders:Real quick.
Tim Winders:Cause I've listened to some of your podcast, you do kingdom coaching.
Tim Winders:Just go ahead and do a
Tim Winders:little promo here
Megan Nilsen:you go to my website, MeganBNilson.
Megan Nilsen:com, N I L S E N.
Megan Nilsen:com, you'll kind of find the whole umbrella there.
Megan Nilsen:I have a podcast called Kingdom Life Coaching Podcast, and it's all about how
Megan Nilsen:can you anchor yourself in your identity In Christ, get aligned with God's voice
Megan Nilsen:and then activate it into the things that he wants to activate you into.
Megan Nilsen:It's all about like quieting the noise of the world and really hearing
Megan Nilsen:God's voice and moving in that space.
Megan Nilsen:So that's, that's the first thing.
Megan Nilsen:The second thing would be the two books, a beautiful exchange and untangled
Megan Nilsen:faith and the companion journal.
Megan Nilsen:You can read about them on the website.
Megan Nilsen:Both are available on Amazon, very easy, you know, buy now, it's like
Megan Nilsen:one click away and this can be in your mailbox in a couple of days.
Megan Nilsen:and for anybody that's looking for maybe a small group or a book study
Megan Nilsen:or a Bible study, I really do believe that untangled faith and the journaling
Megan Nilsen:lens itself To really good small group work or even a larger group work.
Megan Nilsen:And I created a 10 week guide.
Megan Nilsen:If you go to untangledfaithstudy.
Megan Nilsen:com or you can find it on my website, you can just for pennies on the
Megan Nilsen:dollar, just grab this curriculum.
Megan Nilsen:I've broken down the entire book.
Megan Nilsen:I've paired all my podcast episodes that I talk about each chapter.
Megan Nilsen:I've given you small group questions, reflection questions.
Megan Nilsen:And so.
Megan Nilsen:You don't have to do this by yourself.
Megan Nilsen:I think that's the other thing is some people are like, Oh my gosh, I read
Megan Nilsen:this book and I did this all by myself.
Megan Nilsen:I personally think that life is richer.
Megan Nilsen:Our revelations are richer and deeper when we get to do this in community.
Megan Nilsen:That's why you and I have podcasts, right?
Megan Nilsen:Because we're, we value talking with other people.
Megan Nilsen:And so this book and journal really lends itself to that.
Megan Nilsen:So check out the podcast, check out the website, the books.
Megan Nilsen:two free resources that might be interesting to people.
Megan Nilsen:Number one, if you go to hearinggodbookmark.
Megan Nilsen:com, hearinggodbookmark.
Megan Nilsen:com, I have a quick litmus test of how do I know if it's God's voice or my voice?
Megan Nilsen:Cause that is the number one question I get asked all the time.
Megan Nilsen:how am I supposed to know the difference?
Megan Nilsen:Go to that and there's some questions on there that'll help you.
Megan Nilsen:And the other one would be, if you go on my website on
Megan Nilsen:the homepage or godsizedream.
Megan Nilsen:com, you can, I have five questions that you can ask to figure out
Megan Nilsen:if you have a God sized dream.
Megan Nilsen:Cause that's the other piece that I'm so passionate about is that
Megan Nilsen:God's put some fun things inside of you to go seek, go and create.
Megan Nilsen:But how do you know what that is?
Megan Nilsen:How do you know what your message is and what you're
Megan Nilsen:supposed to go do in the world?
Megan Nilsen:So I've got some questions that could get the, get the ball
Megan Nilsen:rolling, for your life there too.
Tim Winders:Very good.
Tim Winders:We'll include those links down in the notes.
Tim Winders:I also appreciate you bringing in the seat, go create there
Tim Winders:in the, at the end there.
Tim Winders:So check all that out.
Tim Winders:Final question.
Tim Winders:Pick one of those words resonates more with you or whatever.
Tim Winders:Seek, go, or create, and why?
Megan Nilsen:And why, I have to go with create.
Megan Nilsen:I think, anytime I can create something, I am just having so much fun.
Megan Nilsen:I'm in the zone.
Megan Nilsen:listen, I'm not a gardener.
Megan Nilsen:Cause I used to think creating was like, I'm going to go
Megan Nilsen:garden or I'm going to go cook.
Megan Nilsen:I mean, I I'm not a painter.
Megan Nilsen:I lose that pictionary.
Megan Nilsen:I can't draw a dang thing, but I can.
Megan Nilsen:Right.
Megan Nilsen:So if you can find something that ushers you into the zone of creating whatever
Megan Nilsen:that is for you, I think it's super, super powerful and very energizing.
Megan Nilsen:So I'm all about just go try something, create it, see how it goes.
Megan Nilsen:And most likely what you create will bless someone else.
Megan Nilsen:I do believe that to be true.
Megan Nilsen:It's not just for you.
Tim Winders:Beautiful.
Tim Winders:We are created to create.
Tim Winders:Thank you for sharing, Megan.
Tim Winders:I appreciate you being a guest here.
Tim Winders:I appreciate those of you that have listened in, go check out Megan's
Tim Winders:resources that she mentioned.
Tim Winders:I listened to about three episodes on her podcast yesterday.
Tim Winders:They're a great compliment, I think, to what we're doing here.
Tim Winders:So jump over there and subscribe, listen in, and again, check
Tim Winders:out all of our other stuff.
Tim Winders:We are Seat Go Create.
Tim Winders:We've got new episodes every Monday.
Tim Winders:They're on YouTube.
Tim Winders:They're on all your podcast platforms.
Tim Winders:Make sure you're subscribing and sharing and all those cool things.
Tim Winders:until next time.
Tim Winders:Continue being all that you were created to be.