Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host, Aurora,

it is Sunday afternoon. And I'm very happy to be spending some

time with you today. I hope you're doing well have you get

some time to rest and relax, reflect and connect? Today I

want to talk about identity, how attached are you to your

identity, I'm just reading this awesome book that I will post in

the show notes. It's called the wisdom of the toltecs have four

attachments, four levels of attachments. And it really made

me think and reflect about my behavior and but the behavior

some people out there. And yeah, that's why I'm going to talk

about this with you today. How attached are you, to your

habits, to who you think you

are.

Maybe you are a smoker, and you strongly identify as a smoker,

this is who you are, this is who you were in the last couple of

years, and you will be in the next decade as well. Maybe you

are a vegan, just recently you decided to not eat animal

products anymore. So not every time you dream about a sandwich

with ham or a juicy steak, you feel extreme guilt and rage

against you. And the same with people who live around you and

are eating whatever they want. You feel resentful towards them.

And you don't want to have anything to do with them because

they don't know what they're doing. They're being careless,

and so on. Maybe you are a person who is very successful in

life when it comes to their career, and you are just a goal

getter and accomplishing one thing after the other. And on

days, doesn't have to be a Sunday, but on some days where

you don't feel like you can really bring it to the table.

You feel guilt and shame and off about yourself. And maybe you

binge eat then or punish yourself in the gym. Because you

have to be that person, you have to play that role. And maybe you

hear in the voice of my tone already that I'm being not

sarcastic. But I just want to show you how some people get

really ingrained in something. And then they only see black and

white. Same goes for religion and politics, as people who are

very lean back and open minded and are very curious and

interested in hearing what other people think, especially from

opposite angles. But then there's people out there who are

very, very judgmental and opinionated. And they really

close themselves up to the beauty and juice of life. If

they become so narrow minded because of one little aspect of

their lives, make it such a big deal. And become very selective,

very harsh. And it is really very, very important to think

about it. What identifies you do you identify as a very sporty

person and you look down on people who are more artistic and

not very sporty. Or are you are musician and you just can't wrap

your head around soccer player who's only about his soccer.

Maybe you can see already how it can deeply separate people if

they are too attached to a habit and too attached to some beliefs

that they have. So maybe you want to think about a girl who

was always skinny and sporty. And now she just became a mom

and she put on a little bit of weight. And as therefore her

children as a wonderful wife of one to four person in the

community, but she just can't get over herself that she's not

that high strung sports woman anymore and fields shame and

guilt towards her body and is very closed up when it comes to

sensuality and sex because of that was not such a sad story.

And it is only because she is so attached to the body she wants

had the body that brought her success, and maybe even approval

from others. So, it is very important that we become aware

of what we are strongly attached to. and soften the lines, if we

find out that we are very attached to something, it is

really very important, especially nowadays, to see that

there's always the opposite. What I mean by that is, maybe

your brain is wired to think of worst case scenarios all the

time. While you also have to know that the best case could

happen. And the same thing is with opinions that a person who

is part of a Conservative Party has the same motifs the same

intentions as the person from the Democrats, they both have

families they want to feed. And they might have grown up in very

different ways. So that they have these ingrained beliefs now

that separate them from other people. And to mention, politics

is very weak. I know. And it's, it's just something that came up

in my brain. But the one example I like best is the person who

became a vegan and is now totally judgmental towards

others and doesn't see that every person is doing their

best. Yeah, I might be eating meat. But maybe I don't use

plastic bags, and maybe I'm super careful with my water

consumption. Maybe I don't drive a car and stead like you can be

passionate about something. But you cannot run around man and

make other people feel shitty, because they didn't make the

exact same decision, you have to see that every person is living

her or his own battle. And if you want to share with that, do

you have a good experience being a vegan, and if you're super

healthy now and you overcame sickness because of changing

your diet, then that is inspiring. And that's when

people are gonna listen. But you can't force other people to see

the world the same way you see. And to create separation that

way. Because all we do in cleaning to our attachments, and

our identity is pushing people away that might not have the

exact same beliefs and values. And it's sad because we are made

of, of so many different parts. So many little mosaic stones,

that we would terribly miss out. If we were to push people away

who are not on the same page with us, we can learn from them,

we can be curious about them, and then have a even better view

on the world. And this is really something I want to achieve with

my little podcast here is that we reflect about every little

angle that there is when it comes to behavior and

relationships and approach people with different beliefs

with curiosity. And if there is a person, for instance, who is

racist, and you think they're making racist remarks all the

time, and you're just so annoyed by them. Well, instead of

calling them out, or of course call them out. Yeah, it has to

be talked about, but instead of making them feel shitty right

away, try to understand what that person went through. Racism

is the one number one thing where people react out of fear

and out of uncertainty and are aggressive and shitty with each

other. And in order to overcome that we have to bring curiosity

and understanding to the table and then we can dissolve that

fear that fear will not be dissolved and calling them bad

people and yeah pushing them into one corner

labeling them we have to go in there as ugly as it seems and

ask questions and be curious and dissolve that fear from the

inside instead of trying to destroy it from the outside so

take a couple minutes now and be with yourself and think about

all the things you might be attached to and those things you

might have very dear and close to your heart but are pushing

other people away and preventing you from living a juicy

fulfilled life thank you so much for listening to the borealis

experience and i'll be out there again bye