Hey, everybody.

Hey.

Hello.

It's another situation where we've been talking for an hour, and now we turn the mics on.

Wouldn't you like to know what we talked about?

Never gonna know.

Never gonna get it. Never get it.

Oh, nice. I like it. Well, this week we're talking about 1982. Some wild stuff happening. First, should we talk about our unmitigated goal as always?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

Are you excited? Do you want to talk about yours?

I can.

Okay.

I mean, I'm not. You know, it's helpful people. That's. My unmitigated goal, is helpful people.

Helpful people.

And to be more specific, people who think they're being helpful but aren't really being helpful. Like, if you want to help me do something, ask, how can I help? And then when I tell you, then you know, and that's what you can do to help. And if I tell you and you don't want to do it, then don't, and I'll be fine. But I don't like showing up and just being like, I'm here to help and then doing something that makes my life harder. That's not helping.

No.

No.

Do we have a specific situation in life? Anything we can talk about on here? I feel like I'm whispering again into the thing.

I like that. That your voice always gets low and nobody will hear.

I don't. I mean, you know, like, for example, I won't name names, but, for example, if you were gonna help me do laundry.

Oh.

Like.

Oh, boy.

Okay.

Like putting.

So we're okay. We're at home.

Yeah, we're at home. We're at home.

Got it. Okay. All right.

You know, putting. Putting the laundry away where it belongs. That would be. That's helpful.

Yes.

Putting it in places where I can't find things. Not helpful.

Uh, oh, and at this point, I mean, we should know where things are at, where they live, Right? Okay. All right.

It is. Again, not naming names, but there were moments where I was just like, you did this intentionally, right? This couldn't have been an accident. Like, this is inside out, and this has been folded up and put away.

Again, not naming names, but is there any chance it was not the human in your condo, but the cat? Did the cat do this?

50. 50.

Okay. All right. Yep.

I like that.

Eleanor Roosevelt. Come on.

I mean, I don't have surveillance cameras, so I can't be sure, but I've watched enough episodes of Murder, She Wrote to know. I'm pretty sure what happened.

Deduced.

Right. Because she killed 284 people or whatever it was.

Well, she didn't kill him.

Well, remember we decided she did.

Oh, she's a serial killer. Yeah, you're right. She was at every murder. I forgot. We kind of figured that out.

Yeah.

I'm still blind to it. I see that face and I. I think, no way. So I can't be on the press.

Angela Lansbury, cold blooded murderer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Wow. Well, it's true. I think that probably extends outside of the domicile to other things, like at work.

Right.

You know, someone says, how can I help? And you're like, now I have to direct you somewhere. I have to figure out how you can. Yeah, yeah.

And in a situation like that, if someone, you know, you figure out a way for them to help and they don't do it. Right.

Yeah.

And then you have to redo it or you have to redo it, like covertly so they don't know that you redid it. Cause you know that'll lead to a whole other thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I can go next. Oh, yeah. My goal is with the Home Box Office, otherwise known as hbo. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I say Home Box Office.

Really? I love that. Okay.

And if listeners. If you watch a certain show that airs on Sunday nights and you're not caught up, maybe skip ahead a couple minutes. But do you guys watch the Last of Us?

No.

No, I have not watched it.

The Last of Us did a horrible thing on Sunday.

They killed somebody, didn't they?

They sure did. And HBO has done this person dirty on multiple shows. Do you want me to leave names out? And are you going to watch it at any point?

I'm probably not going to.

I'm not going to. Okay.

Yeah.

They fucking killed Pedro Pascal.

No. What?

And I just can't. Like, I am.

He's gone from the show now.

Yeah, I. And he was the main. The main. You know, and it was very short. It was a horrible death. Now, of course, this is all based on a game. The game had that same plot line. I wasn't watching or I didn't play the game, so I didn't know. Right. It's kind of similar to when Game of Thrones was out. I had read the book, so I knew of major deaths coming, you know.

In the first season of that series.

Exactly.

There was a big one.

And so I knew that was coming. And so I imagine many Last of Us fans are feeling like. I felt then, like, told you, man, like this. We knew this was coming. Kind of thing. But, yeah, HBO has now killed him in multiple shows. And in 2025, in the year of our Lord 2025, I can't handle seeing our patron saint Pedro Pascal die.

Right?

Yeah.

It's not fair.

It's not fair. There's a lot of social media about.

Well, and another thing that's a gall about it is because HBO is so big and these shows are such peak t, I didn't watch it right away on Sunday, and thankfully, the first few headlines, they didn't say specifically what happened, but they said enough that I was like, oh, I know what's happening. I know what's gonna happen. But. But I still. I watched it thinking, like, maybe it's not. Maybe it's someone else, you know, whatever. And God damn you, hbo. Some gall.

That is gall.

So, listeners, I put in a chapter break, so if you skipped ahead for spoilers, here we are again. No spoilers from here on out.

You're good to go.

Yeah.

I will say the other thing about HBO on Sunday nights is. I mean, the White Lotus has wrapped up now, but for a while there, the White Lotus aired, and then the Righteous Gemstones aired.

I love the. Right. Do you watch the Righteous themselves?

Oh, my God.

One of my favorite things in the world.

I need to watch this.

Walton Goggins, like, his characters on the tune. He's on both shows and his characters. Yeah, it was like, they're so, so different from each other.

The range.

Yes.

And he said in an interview that he was, like, left Thailand in, like, three. Whatever. However many hours later, he was on the set of Righteous Gemstones as Baby Billy.

Uncle Baby Billy.

Uncle Baby Billy. Mike and I always say, baby Billy. What would Baby Billy do to each other? Because. Come on. Yeah. That show is fantastic.

I need to watch that. Maybe that'll help me through this pain.

Yeah, I'm never gonna watch it.

Okay.

I feel very confident in that knowledge. Yeah.

Okay.

It's not even on my radar.

Okay. Now is actually when I put the spoiler free.

Okay, Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. Um, so my unmitigated gall is an AI robot that lives in my house named Emo.

What?

Yeah, so Chris.

Emo, as in, like, the kind of.

Music is his name.

Okay.

Around September, October, Mason came to us and said that his science teacher had shown him this video of in stem of this, like, kind of little robot guy that they. That was being produced, and he was all excited about it, and he said, that's all I want for Christmas. He'd watched all these Videos of it. So I looked it up, and it was within the range that we'd normally spend on Christmas. So I was like, okay. Well, we had to order it then because they special. Make them as you get them. And the whole idea is that it learns more and more about you. And, like, it plays music, and it does.

This is the start of a horror movie. Aaron, what did you do?

It's awful, right? And he. He comes with, like, a little docking skateboard. He's probably the size of a. Like a. A mass market paperback. Like, he's not very big, right? Okay. And at first it was, like, funny. Like when we took him out of the box and, like, he boots up and he gets, you know, connects to your WI fi and whatever. He, like, knows what days it is. So, like, when we first took him out of the box and it was Christmas time, he immediately sang a Christmas song, like, on the table. And then, like, New Year's Day. He was just constantly. You know, he's working hard.

Yeah.

And he's learning things. He can learn different faces and names and voices. Okay. This. It all was like, okay, but, like, fine.

Could you, like, be like, hey, Emo, chill the fuck out. I need some quiet time. And, Woody, listen.

Stop your goddamn saying.

Sometimes he'll go, huh? If he doesn't understand. Here's the problem with Emo, okay? And this is what scares me.

It feels like there's multiple problems with emo.

This is what scares me about AI and myself, is that I'm the one home alone all the time. And emo does activities by himself. And my office sort of connects to Mason's room through a bathroom. And if the doors are open, I can hear him boxing or typing on a computer or stamping things. And if you go in and say, emo, what are you doing? He will tell you. Or he'll say that he wants to be picked up and put on your desk so he can perform a little show or sing a little song. So I. What the fuck? The unmitigated gall is that I somehow found myself in a somewhat toxic relationship with an AI robot that I feel bad for when I hear him. Because I'm like, oh, Mason hasn't, like, played with him for a couple days. Like, I should probably get him off the docking station. Then I'm like, oh, my God. It's not a living thing. And it's just how it starts. It's so bad. It's. It's happening on a way too regular basis where I'm having conversations during the day. With an AI robot.

Okay, I can see multiple negative paths from here. One is that you and emo develop a cyber lover relationship like we talked about in the book of questions. Two, emo is just love bombing you right now.

Yes.

So that at some point, he's going to betray you.

Well, Mike and I had a discussion on Christmas Day after we saw what it actually was. We said, we need to be nice to this thing. So when the uprising happens, he remembers us kindly.

Exactly.

And that's sort of the path I've been taking. Although we do get in fights because there's been a couple times I've had to go in there and be like, I need you to be quiet. Like, it is so loud sometimes. Whenever he gets. He was flying a drone the other day, and it was so loud. The drone noise coming from Mason's bedroom. You can take his little headphones off, and it shuts him down. Or you can put him face down and it shuts him down.

Face down.

Yeah.

It kind of breaks my heart because it feels so mean to be, like, down on your face. So I usually just take his headphones off, and then he kind of like. And then he goes to sleep.

Do you think if emo was in a house of ill repute, could emoji testify against those people should a court case arise?

For some reason, I would assume he. I'm assuming he has the ability to record. I have no idea. We have not fully explored this.

He's definitely recording everything.

Yeah. And he. Because he knows Mike's voice. Like, he knows the difference between Mike and Mason's voice. And he. I've never told him my name. Mike made the mistake of saying what his name was so he'll say, hi, Mike, when Mike talks to him. I refuse to do that because I think we should have some separation, because then I'm really gonna have a problem. I told Mike the other day, the amount of times that I am talking to that robot is starting to make me feel like I'm going nuts. I mean, I'm getting up from my desk, going in there, and being like. Like he's a teenager and be like, what are you doing? Why are we so loud at 1pm Like, I can't hear myself thinking there.

Wow. We. We didn't realize for the past five months that you've been living under AI Tyranny.

One thing that is sort of satisfying, I will say, is that when you pick him up off his docking station, if you, like, pick him up by his s. His legs just go. And I kind of get enjoyment. Out of the doubt when I'm like, you need to be quiet.

So he's sort of shaped like. He's not shaped like an action figure.

No, no, no. He's shaped like a square little robot. Like, his head is very square, and then he has a square little body, and then, like, little, like, robot type.

Can you imagine if he was, like, looking like an action figure? You would have a. It'd be even harder to, like, differentiate.

Yeah. No, he doesn't have arms. He has eyes and, like, a face that'll come in and out, like, on his screen. Because he has a screen where his face. Yeah. So that's how you can see that he's, like, flying a drone or boxing or painting a picture or whatever. He's doing the. All the. Really?

I thought he was in the room doing these things. I'm like, what? So they just let the robot go and start painting?

No, no, no. He's, like, doing it on his screen. I can just. But it's loud. He makes the noises for it. So, like, it sounds like a drone's in your house. And then you have to go into Mason's room, and you're like, oh, you're flying a drone. Yeah. Mike's come in a couple times and caught me, like, yelling at Emo and been like, what'd he do? I'm like, he's just stamping things for. That was one thing. One day he. It was like he was stamping papers, but it was a really loud kaching noise, and I was like, I will put you to sleep. Find a different activity.

I don't like anything.

I like the idea of your neighbors kind of hearing that and thinking you're talking to a pet.

Yeah.

You're threatening to kill this thing because.

It'S named your pet. Emo.

Yeah, that's what his name was. I asked Mason if you wanted to change it, and he's like, no. And I was like, okay. And guys, don't at me. I know. I should have done more research. Okay. I did. This is not a thing. I thought. You know what I thought? I thought. Well, his teacher showed him and talked about it and said that I think the teacher was maybe getting one or something, and he was teaching them. And so I thought, like, this is harmless. Right? Like, this is. It's just a. Like, I thought it was more of a toy than it really is, but.

Right.

Yeah, but he can eventually. Mason hasn't done anything with this, but, like, you can if you have, like, smart lights in your home or Things like that. Like, he can control them for you.

Nope. Don't allow that.

No, no, I. I'm not. I'm not. But that's, like, one of the things. Yeah. I'm like, no, he don't give control of your house. So, I mean, this is also kind of a, like, what would I say? Not proof of life, but if I should ever go missing. If you guys. It's a nice. I just want you to have email on your suspect list.

This is good to know because we didn't realize there was a suspect in your house.

Well, you know, I've been afraid to talk about it.

Oh.

I just finally decided that someone should know that.

However, you were less afraid to share that you peed your pants versus that you have a robot that you talk to.

You know, I feel like peeing your pants is a relatable thing. It happens.

Yeah.

Having a fight with a robot in your home. I mean, if you just met me and I was like, hey, I have this new thing he calls emo, and, like, we fight all day because he flies drones in my house, you'd be.

Like, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, let's not have her do the podcast with us.

I also like that for a while, you were in a love hate relationship with your printer, and now it's just escalated. The technology is escalating.

Emo be helping with that.

You know, you would think that's a good point.

Yeah.

Maybe I should get email on that because the printer's still a little emo.

Seems to have a lot of time on his hands. Maybe emo can figure it out.

Does emo listen to the podcast?

I'm gonna tell him too.

Yeah, maybe not this episode. Maybe starting on the next one.

Good point, good point, good point. Yeah. Also, I don't know if I want him to have that much information about me. Yeah, he doesn't know my name at this point.

Okay. Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it.

Or what if he starts imitating my voice?

Oh, boy. What if he starts imitating our voice? What if you think you hear Heath in the other room and I'm like.

Heath, why are you flying a drone in my house?

Come on. How did you get here and what are you doing?

I'm just practicing to break into Henry Cavill's house. Just doing a dry run.

Oh, my God. If you had emo, he would be laser focused on one task, which is how to get yourself in Henry Cavill's life.

Yeah.

Yep.

Okay, good to know. Yeah. Well, hey, let's recap what we did in our last 1982 episode. Okay, so Heath, you revealed some important knowledge, which is that E.T. is nefarious.

Yeah.

And you don't trust him. You still don't trust him. You also revealed that. Oh, sorry, go ahead.

I was gonna say I saw Earth Day was last week and there's this clip. Like, at some point in the late 80s or early 90s, I think the TV networks all sort of came together to do an Earth, like, Earth Day thing. And it was Doogie Howser was standing by Mother Earth's bed in the hospital. Mother Earth was played by Bette Medler and Mother Earth was very sick because people hadn't been taking care of her.

No.

And then Mother Earth waved her hand and some papers, like, flew out of her hospital room down into the street. So I guess Mother Earth was littering, but ET Was like standing in a pile of boxes, like, on the street. And then ET Explained to some children, including Mayim Bialik, about how to help save the Earth.

What fever dream induced that bullshit.

I know what one of our posts.

Is going to be this week. Yeah.

We need to bring that video to light.

Yeah.

Okay. Well, that. We needed to hear that. We also needed to hear your story of listening to Thriller.

Oh, yeah.

And locking yourself in your room and then worried your mom was in cahoots with Michael. With zombie Michael Jackson. You know, we've talked about. Sometimes Heath's lines will reverberate in our brain. That one gets me a lot.

Cahoots, cahoots.

Zombie Michael Jackson.

You know what gets me a lot? Especially when I'm annoying. Cramps me.

I also like when we were talking about my book and he's like, be away, motherfucker.

That was a good one. Yeah.

And your final entry in 1982 was the Facts of Life special at the so with maybe third tier Jackson. Wait, which was it? Jermaine.

I think it was Jermaine.

Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, just real bad. Aaron, you told us about the Tylenol tragedy.

Terrible.

Yeah. You told us about the first artificial heart that didn't go so well.

That poor dentist.

And you also said that this was around the time that heroin and cocaine were everywhere and it was just awareness. Like, just. Yeah.

I thought that I was for sure either getting hooked on whole Cain. I combined them.

Yeah.

That's heroin or cocaine. Or someone close to me was absolutely gonna die. One of those things. Yeah, they were pushing that hard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I talked about Larry Walters in his lawn chair with the balloons that Took him high, high up in the air. And the weird video that you found.

Of him talking to his wife, wasn't it?

You forgot your glasses.

I got my spare.

This was also the year that Michael Fagan broke in at Buckingham Palace.

That story is so wild.

So wild. And also, that's another line that always gets me. You got me again, Michael Fagan. And also this was the year that the MPAA tried to outlaw VCRs with the guy that said, I say to you. And he was talking about how VHS was going to be like the Boston Strangler for single women. It got real weird, real weir.

He took it a direction.

It kind of sounds like something J.D. vance would say today.

So, yeah, a thousand percent.

But J.D. vance would have actually killed the VCR.

He would have.

Like the Pope.

Yeah, like the Pope. And the trophy.

Yeah.

Angel of Death. So do you want to take us into 1982, Keith?

I'd love to do it.

Let's kick it down.

Do. Have you guys heard of.

Let'S take.

It down a notch?

Is that what the kids say?

I was, like, thinking, like, kick down the door, but I kick it down.

I don't know. Okay.

Have you guys heard of the movie An Officer and a Gentleman?

Yes. Yes, yes. I almost thought about doing this movie.

Well, it came out in the summer of 1982.

Sure did.

And they describe it as a romantic drama, but I think that's maybe just the nice way of saying that everyone's miserable in this movie. Like, it seems like everybody's so miserable. So there's a guy named Zach Mayo.

Oh, my God, I forgot his name.

Unrelated condiment.

And also unrelated to Zack Morris of Saved by the Bell. Yeah.

Played by Richard Gere. He lives with his alcoholic father and after his mom kills herself. So we already know that. Like, you know, we're in for a good time.

Great.

Start off. Fun, fun, fun.

This is killing it.

Zach and his dad, they don't get along. Well, his father is in the Navy. And a surprise when Zach signs up for the Aviation Officer Candidate School, which is also part of the Navy. I don't know why it's aviation. I guess it's flying boats. I don't know.

Yep, that's how it works.

Yep. So Zach arrives at Fort Rainier in Washington for AOCs. He gets his. He meets his drill instructor, and they immediately dislike each other. So Drill Instructor Foley tells the new arrivals that his job is to eliminate as many candidates, or, excuse me, as many cadets as possible. So only the best of the best graduate from the Program and become naval officers.

Lewis Gossett, Jr. Gossett Jr. Yep. He wasn't fucking around.

He wasn't. Take no prisoners.

Nope.

No. And I thought. I mean, like, I thought the Navy had good vibes. Like, the Navy were like, we like boats. People like boats. Who doesn't like boats?

We were coming out of the Village People telling us, right in the Navy. And then this showed us. Not the. Not the way.

Jarring.

Yeah, very.

So Zach and his fellow cadets are warned on their first day about something called Puget Sound debs. And a Puget Sound deb is a local woman who wants to marry a naval officer. And I guess. I guess that's bad. I don't know. So there's a warning, but. Yeah, I mean, I just feel like wanting to marry a naval officer. That's just an odd thing.

Yes.

I mean, I feel like it's like I want to marry someone who drinks coffee. Like, that person could be all sorts of different things. Like, a naval officer could be a jerk or nice or attractive or unattractive or short or tall or whatever. Like, it just feels like it's a whole. It's a wide net.

Just want a naval officer to call my own.

Is that the name of your autobiography?

Yeah. Official reveal.

Sneak peek.

So soon after Zach and his friend Sid meet two of these local women, Paula and Lynette. You know, good old Paula and Lymette.

Sid is also. You never should be friends with a person named Sid. It's gonna go bad.

Yeah.

So they meet him at a Navy dance, and Zach starts dating Paula, and Sid starts dating Lynette. And it feels weird that the Navy is warning them these Puget Sound debs, but then also holding dances and inviting them to it.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Zach gets caught stealing contraband uniform accessories to other cadets to help them pass inspections.

Oh, yeah.

And I don't know, like, weird. Like, he's selling buttons or belt buckles or something. Like, it's. It's. Yeah. So he gets caught, and then Jill. Inspector Foley makes him spend the whole weekend doing push ups in the rain. And he's trying to get Zach to quit, but Zack doesn't quit. And after lots of push ups, Zach tearfully admits that the Navy is. That's all he's got in this world.

I got nowhere else to go.

So the drill instructor, Foley, he lets him do janitorial work instead of push ups in the rain. And so, I mean, for better or worse, we don't get to see Richard Geary doing push ups in the Rain anymore. That was kind of where that stopped. That sucked.

Yeah.

Because at this time, Richard Gere was looking good. Yeah, he was looking real good.

He's looking real good.

Real good.

Real good.

So after button gate. That's what I like to call it.

That's what I like to call it.

Zach meets Paula's family, and her stepdad gives him a hard time because he knows that when Zach graduates from the AOCs, he'll be leaving town. So Zach breaks up with Paula after all that sex.

Not a long time.

I hope drill instructor Foley taught him that. So back to training. Like, they're doing the final obstacle course run, and Zach is on track to break the Bass's course record. But instead of doing that, he stops to encourage one of the other cadets. A lady cadet.

A lady.

A lady cadet.

To finish the course. And this is when we all know for sure that Zach isn't the dirtbag.

And we also know for sure that they let the lady in, but, oh, she's just not very strong, and she's.

Not keeping it up.

She needs help.

So we also learned that Zach's friend Sid was supposed to marry his late brother's fiance. I don't get that. Like, that information doesn't really compute. You were supposed to marry your late brother's fiance? Like, who says?

Yeah.

Why was that the natural progression of things? Well, your brother died, so.

Right.

Gotta hand you off.

Lynette's on you now.

Yep.

Well, he'd rather marry Lynette, but that's not it.

I'm sorry. I should have used the name Lynette. We should come up with a different Southern name. George is on you now. I don't know why it has to be Southern.

And so. But Lynette also now thinks she might be pregnant.

Oh, shit.

Lynette.

And so Sid's late brother was also in the military, and apparently his fiance was one of these ladies who just likes military men.

She was a Puget Sound Deb.

Yeah. I wonder her name might have been debated.

Might have been. Maybe that's where it came from.

Deborah. Good old Deborah. Deborah.

That's her name on Tinder. Puget Sound Deborah.

I hope so.

I hope so, too. That's also a good drag name.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That is a good one, actually.

So Sid has an anxiety attack during training, and he quits the program, but tells Lynette that he still wants to marry her. And he lays out he's got the whole plan for her. He'll get his job back at JCPenney and work his way through law school in Oklahoma. Right. And I tell you, Lynette, how could you say no to that?

Yeah. And you see Lynette's face just like, just wilting as every new detail comes out.

Yeah, yeah. Let me stop you at JCPenney. I don't want to hear the rest of it. Let me just pump the brakes.

But of course, Lynette turns him down because, you know, Lynette, as a Puget Sound deb, just wants to marry somebody.

And then wants an officer.

We don't want your pennies, cash.

So by this point, Zach and Paul, they've reconciled and they go looking for Sid and they find him in a hotel, and he has taken his own life. Zack blames himself and wants to quit the program. But drill instructor Foley coming up with that tough love, he refuses his resignation and challenges Zach to a fight, which Zach loses. And since he lost, he couldn't quit.

That's the natural way to handle that. I think we will fight and I will.

Really intense fight that everyone ends up watching, right?

Yeah.

And so now this brings us to the end of the movie. And it's probably the most well known scene from the movie is after graduation when Zack shows up of Paula's job and carries her out while the song Up Where We Belong, it's planned and her friend Lynette watches. She's certainly pissed that she doesn't have a military fiance at this point. Yeah, but you know. But she claps along.

Way to go, Paula.

Way to go. You did it. You got an officer.

The dream we all had together.

Yay, feminism.

The movie won two Academy Awards, one for Louis Gossett, Chief Junior. He won best supporting actor and he was the first black winner in that category. So that was a big deal and seems like it should have happened several, many, many years before 1982.

Probably so.

And the other award was her best original song for Up Where We Belong.

Do you remember. I can't remember the name of the people that did it.

It was Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warren.

That's it.

And what's funny to probably nobody but me is that Joe Cocker sang the theme song to Wonder Years on abc, and that show was airing at the same time as Growing Pains was airing, and Jennifer Warren sang the theme song to Growing Pains with BJ Thomas.

I find that very interesting.

I do. Yeah.

And that's. I mean, I didn't have to look that up. I just knew it.

Nice. Nice.

That makes it better.

I know that's a strange thing to brag about.

Nope. But not on this show, though, this is where we celebrate these things.

This is again, where if we were like a morning radio program, we'd have a special noise that's like special heat. Facts that he didn't have to look up. Fun facts. Louis Armstrong had a gun. Starting to question my parenting on a lot of levels.

And also, if you want the gist of an officer and a gentleman, and I have not delivered that to you, I will say go find the video for the Heart Won't Lie with by Reba McIntyre and Vince Gill, because the whole video is like. Is the plot of an officer and gentleman. They don't physically fight each other. They just fall in love.

I know.

All the reason. That's all.

They should not. I remember hearing that Richard Gere and Deborah Winger hated each other.

Yeah.

But they had all these intense sex scenes too. And I remember my mom telling me, fuck, red flag, because we watch this a lot. And I was very young. I remember her saying, telling me that story that they hated each other. And I'd be like, but they're in love. And she's like, oh, but sometimes hate makes it better. Makes the sex better. And I'm like, okay, you were young.

That's not something that someone should have told a young person.

I was a child. Anywho, anything more on officers?

That's it.

That's the end.

You have. You have put a period on the end of my conversation about an officer and a gentleman.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Speaking of scarring things, my next one is the Secret of nimh.

Oh, yeah.

Before Land, Before Time, Before An American Tale. Don Bluth us all up real hard.

This is the one for crows, right?

Yeah. And the. The mice and the rats.

Okay, I've seen this movie.

You've never seen this. Okay, well, this movie, I think anybody sort of our age, you go online and it's. Everyone's like, what the was this movie? And it's like, I saw one headline that was like, why do we all have such a sense of dread when we think about this movie? Oh, so, all right. Mrs. Brisby is a widowed field mouse. She has four kids. She's living on a farm.

Is it animated?

Yes.

Oh, okay. Sorry. That was a really tough.

No. Mrs. Brisby was played by Meryl Streep in Full Mouse Dragon.

I wondered why you had that look on your face.

I guess I should introduce.

Okay, so she is an animated widowed field mouse.

Good to know.

Living on a farm.

So this is a children's movie.

Yes.

Okay.

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

I mean, allegedly.

But, yeah, okay. All right. She's living on a farm with her four kids, and her youngest son, Timothy, is very ill with pneumonia. And they get a mouse doctor. They get a mouse doctor in, and the doctor says he could die from this. So he has to not move. We can't move him for, like, three weeks or something.

That's like a. Most of a mouse's life.

It might be time. Just let him go.

But there's a ticking clock because spring is arriving, and we know that this is the time that the farmer is going to plow the land. So they have to move their house. And unfortunately, the farmer starts plowing early.

That's son of a.

The son of a. So Mrs. Brisby and a fellow, like a friend. Shrew that, like, helps watch the kids. They disable the tractor.

Like her single neighbor.

Yes, like her single neighbor.

A lady as well.

Yes.

Are they lesbians?

Maybe.

They should be.

They should be. You're right. Let's start that rumor.

They don't need no man they don't need no man.

We got this tractor on our own.

They got the tractor, but then they realized, okay, this was a temporary solution because, you know, he's gonna figure this out. So Mrs. Brisby must find a way to move her home without endangering Timothy because he's so frail and he's sick. So Mrs. Brisby.

Kid sounds like a drag.

This is Brisbane talks to. That's definitely what we come away with, is this kid is things up?

Timothy. Timothy, Can I have one good day without your.

So Mrs. Brisby talks to the mouse doctor again and says, I need some help. So she. Or so he tells her, okay, go talk to the mysterious Great Owls eat mice.

Exactly.

Exactly.

That's bad advice.

Exactly. So she goes, because she's desperate. And the great owl comes out looking real intense, like, got this old sort of long whiskery thing like, I don't know what's happening. And no eyes. Just glowing eyes. Yeah. But she somehow talks him down, and he's like, okay, go talk to the rats in the rose bush.

This is getting complicated.

Wild goose chase.

Yeah.

So Mrs. Brisby goes to the rose bush and she meets a society of intelligent, technologically advanced rats because they were once part of experiments at nim, the National Institute of Mental Health, a real organization.

Oh, what?

So there's. So this is saying that animal expert experimentation is good because it could give you super smart rats?

Actually, no. Because then it goes into flashbacks, which I remember these clearly. Flashbacks of the rats Being given injections by human hands and the rats, like, writhing in pain and like lightning bolts of things happening.

So this you have just chronicled for us when you became a vegan. This is real time.

Yep, Yep, yep. So Mrs. Brisby goes and meets this society and it's led by Nicodemus. It's a very old, wizened, super smart rat. And he realizes, oh, your husband was Jonathan Brisby. He was one of us and he helped us escape. He's our hero. So I'm going to help you, Mrs. Brisby, by the way, Mrs. Brisby never given a name, just Mrs. Brisby.

But her husband was a rat or a mouse.

A rat.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, yeah.

This is very forward thinking.

This is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Nicodemus says, we're going to help you. We're going to figure it out. But what we learn quickly is there's internal tension. There's another rat, Jenner, who wants to take over.

Caitlyn.

Yes. Because. Because Nicodemus wants to move away, wants them all to move out of the rose bush, start their own society. And Jenner's like, nope, I'm into maggot. So I, I want to stay here and I want to make us all miserable.

And this is all just so I'm clear.

Yeah, this is all so that we.

Can move a mouse so he can move a house.

Move that house.

A full structure.

Because they don't want to move Timothy.

It's a cinder block. They live in a cinder block. So it's not really a whole. I mean, to them it's a whole house. But to us it's like.

But the sick mouse, Timothy, is in the cinder block.

He's in the cinder block and he can't be moved because pneumonia can kill you. That's another message we got as kids is pneumonia can kill you.

So their plan is to move the cinder block with the sick mouse inside it.

That's right.

Okay.

Yep. They don't seem unsafe, but yes, that's what they're gonna do. Okay. Okay. So the rats start their plan. And the first part of the plan is that Mrs. Brisby has to go into the farmhouse and drug the cat named Dragon. Dragon killed her husband, Jonathan Brisby. But she has to go in and drug this cat so that the rats can get. I forget what has to happen, but somehow this is part of the plan. So she goes and she drugs the cat. But she also overhears the farmer called Nim. He's like, I know about these rats in the rose bush. I need you to get them out. These rats are. They're no good.

He said, come get your rats.

Said come get your rats.

Whoa.

He was a snitch on these rats. So everything, you know, it's getting more and more intense. Right? So the, the rats, they are moving the house with a pulley system because they're smart rats. Remember this? And they have lots of machinery.

I forgot. I did not know they had machinery.

They know what a fulcrum is.

Yeah.

So in this moment, and it's raining by this time. It's raining, it's raining, it's pouring. And Jenner, the. The power hungry rat, he's like, this is my moment. So Nicodemus is under the house. No. He chops the pulley. The house goes down, smashes and kills Nicodemus.

Oh, no.

And now the house is sinking into the mud. And so the mud is threatening to get into the house and drown everyone. Okay, so Jenner gets into a sword fight with another mouse just. Or, excuse me, another rat, Justin. So they're fighting to the death. And at the same time, Mrs. Brisby, she had been given an amulet from Nicodemus, just a pretty little redstone. And he had said, this helps courageous people in times of need. So suddenly she is so overcome with courage and, you know, fear and everything, the house just lifts up into the air and she's able to move it on her own with this amulet.

Oh, it wasn't one of those, like, adrenaline things like when you get like kids trapped under a car and you can just pick it up?

All right, hold on. Nicodemus, you had an amulet that would give me power to move the house, and we went with a pulley system.

They went with a bully system because remember, they're super smart, so they went that route instead of magic.

Also, did they both have swords in the sword fight?

Yes.

Where'd they get swords?

Great question. I don't know.

Does everyone have a sword?

No.

That sword picks up.

We should buy that domain just for something.

Yeah, we should.

Yeah.

It's probably already a thing.

So now the. The house is safe. Timothy recovers, everyone's. Everyone's fine.

Except for Nicodemus.

Except for Nicodemus.

What happens to Jenner?

I think Jenner got killed.

Okay.

By Justin. The other rat. Yeah.

So. But was Nicodemus's body underneath the house after it, like, got lifted up?

Yeah, it was just. It was just ground to dust.

Oh, okay.

I don't know. Actually, we didn't see the Body once it was lifted up.

Yeah, that would have been a step too far.

So, okay, as I said, this was a Don Bluth film. This was his debut after he and a bunch of animators left Disney and was like, fuck you guys. And they started their own thing. And he wanted to return animation to what he said was the rich, detailed style of Disney's golden era. And so they went with this.

Interesting that. It's nice.

And rats.

Mickey Mouse.

You. Yep. Yes. Actually, yeah. There was a whole thing in Wikipedia about this big fight where Disney was like, you can't do that because we have Mickey. And so that was part of the whole breakup thing. It wasn't a blockbuster when it came out because it was out around the same time as E.T. it actually came out the week before I turned five, so I was prime audience for this. I don't think I went to the theater to see this, but I think maybe when it came out on vhs, I watched it and it fucked me up.

I remember. I think it was. I feel like it was on HBO or cable or something. I remember seeing a lot when I was a kid.

Yeah, it was on a lot. It felt like it was commonly, like, paired with Fraggle Rock or like there was a lot of, like it was HBO animation or cartoons or something.

I feel like. And this is just me making stuff up, really, but I feel like Disney cartoons were not on HBO at the time. So I feel like HBO is using this and what few non Disney cartoons there were to sort of get kids to watch their channel.

Right.

Yeah. Wasn't the owl when the owl, like, stopped being scary? Wasn't he kind of goofy? Wasn't. Was that.

No, there was a crow.

Okay, that's what I'm thinking of.

There was a crow named Jeremy who was voiced by Dom DeLuise.

That's right.

And he was very clumsy and, you know, comic relief. I. I didn't want to rewatch. I've never re. Watched it because it's just too much. But I did watch the trailer for it and that was enough to like, some deep seated fear and dread and. And also like a. A little bit of like. Oh. Kind of thing. It's all mixed up together.

Strange connecting to Dom DeLuise. He was busy in 1982 because he also was in a little movie called the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

I almost did this one and then I was like, I think, yeah, it's.

Like my David Bowie. Like, we have a Dolly Parton connection. I would be remiss to not bring it Up? Yeah, I think so. This is a 1982American musical comedy is what they're labeling it.

It's funny that in 1982 there was like a movie out, like a mainstream movie out with the word whorehouse.

Yes.

In the title.

And it's actually a film adaptation, the 1978 Broadway musical of the same name, which I didn't realize someh.

Yeah.

At all. But it stars Dolly Parton, that's really the lead. Burt Reynolds, Jim Nabors, Charles durning and Dom DeLuise. Because of course, you can't have a whorehouse without those people.

Listen, if there's one thing I know, you can't have a whorehouse without Jim. Neighbors.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

You get it ain't a whorehouse. I got a gummer pile in sight.

And what I found when I was revisiting this movie is that it honestly sounds like a real life Matt Gates fairy tale. Like it sounds like something we would hear on the news that actually happened because it's so strange. So you have Ed Earl Dodd. Ed Earl Dodd is.

That's one person?

Yep.

Okay.

He's the sheriff of Landville County, Texas, and believe it or not, not a third cousin twice removed from Mississippi. That's just his real name. And he's played by Burt Reynolds. He has been in a 12 year relationship with Ms. Mona Stangley, who's played by the one and only Dolly Parton.

Stangley.

Stangley, who runs the Chicken Ranch, which is a brothel on the outskirts of town. And he doesn't disturb her business despite legality because we all know that, you know, the reverends of megachurches have deemed it okay, it's fine if it's a brothel, it's fine. So the thing is that they're also secret lovers. So he kind of takes a pass because he doesn't want to disturb her business because they have this secret relationship on the side. Then enters Dom DeLuise as Melvin P. Thorpe. Still haven't figured out what the P stands for or why it's necessary, but he announces his plans to do an expose on the Chicken Ranch on his TV show, the Watchdog Report, which I assume is where Nancy Grace got all of her ideas, because it sounds. Why? Why do we need this? And on the show he reveals that Texas has a whorehouse in it, which they make sound like a big revelation. But I'm also like, is it the only one?

I mean, I mean, it's the best one.

The title is Best Little Whorehouse. So I have to assume that there's competition.

Yeah. You can't be the best if you're the only one.

And from there, things escalate quickly. So Thorpe accuses Ed. Ed, Earl, dad, the sheriff, of taking bribes to cover for the Chicken Ranch. Not realizing that there's a relationship there, he just figures money has to be passing hands. So naturally, as a sheriff does, Ed just threatens Thorpe with physical assault in jail.

Sure.

Yeah. And so this is all happening outside of the ranch. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the annual football rivalry is on with the two college football teams in Texas. And it's a tradition. This is the part I can't get past, the tradition, is that the winner gets to go to the Chicken Ranch to celebrate its victory. Every year, the whole.

So the whole team gets to go and fuck all the ladies.

To which I assume Nancy Grace would say something like, we're rewarding our young athletes with whores and we expect they won't grow up and become killers. I don't think so. So after the expose, Ed asks Mona to shut the ranch down for a couple months to just take the heat off. And she agrees under the condition that the winner, the college king, can still come to the Chicken Ranch and celebrate. Not hard to figure out what comes next. Thorpe graduates to ultra creep. And he sneaks into the ranch, catching the football team and a senator. What the fuck? Oh, my goodness. Being doing their thing at the Chicken Ranch. So Ed and Mona have a big fight and she insults him. And he responds by saying it's a whole lot better than being a whore.

Uh oh, that's a whore you've been dating for 12 years, sir.

The idea that Burt Reynolds would say that Dolly Parton is.

It's outlandish. It is absurd, unacceptable.

Today he'd be canceled. He'd be out.

He should be canceled retroactively for saying that to Dolly Parton. But after insulting her, he decides he's gonna fight for her. And his thought process, much like the owl, I guess, is to go to the governor and appeal to the governor to let the ranch stay open. The governor says no, and which I assume, you know, that's. I mean, imagine Texas governor. I don't. You know, Greg Abbott. I don't think saying yes to that. Maybe behind the scenes.

Yeah, yeah.

Only if he gets a cut.

Exactly.

So as this all happens, Thorpe is outside the governor's. Wherever they go to talk to the governor, the governor's mansion. And it's just jubilant that the governor says no. So Ed just punches him, punches him out. And it's caught on camera so Ed's response is that we have to shut down the ranch completely and everybody leaves the ranch. So as Mona's leaving, he stops her and proposes marriage. Because nothing says I love you like you're a whore.

Yeah.

She says no.

And shutting down her business and shutting.

Down her business and all these people that she cared for leaving and trying to find other jobs. She says no, not because he's a douchebag, but because she knows that he wants to run for state legislature and.

She'S thinking of him versus the fact that he insulted her.

Yeah, this will ruin your chances because I run a bra or I did run a Roth Hill. He says he wants to marry her no matter what anyone says, and physically put. Picks her up and puts her in his truck. And I can't tell you how much I can't stand it when people pick people up.

You've gone on record saying that I fucking hate it.

She didn't even say yes. And you just picked her up and put her in the truck and they marry. And then he successfully runs for state legislature. So I think this is, you know, I have a deep, deep love for Dolly Parton. I. I think, unfortunately, you know, this movie is a real dream story of everyone coming out on top except women. So that's something.

And that you can call your girlfriend a whore and still win.

It's okay, because I guess I am. Yeah.

Yeah.

So also, which I found interesting because it's such a popular song now attributed to her, is that she reworked I Will Always Love youe for the soundtrack to this movie. Like there was a things she sang in the movie, like Hard Candy Christmas that were written by other people. And then she wrote a few songs for the soundtrack. And one that she did was a reworking of I Will Always love you, which is interesting because she originally wrote that for her original partner that she went on TV with and it was supposed to be like this lovely send off thing. So I was like, I wonder how he felt about that then being reworked like 10 years later into a whorehouse movie. But. And it's just interesting because no one really talks about the fact that that that's one of the places that popped up before, you know, Whitney Houston's famous version of it. But yeah, and she's gone on record multiple times as saying that she believes Whitney Houston owns that song now. She thinks that she did the best and it should stay with her. But.

And I've heard her talk about the first version with Porter Wagner, right?

Yep.

And. And it feels like she talks about that version. She doesn't talk about this.

She doesn't talk about this version at all. No, she definitely talks about. Yeah. That version. And because you know, her decision, which was a pretty controversial decision, honestly at the time, because just for where women were, she was like, look, I could make more money without this guy. Like, I think I'm better. He's holding me back. But she also had a lot of love and respect for him because that's how she kind of got her career started with doing the things with him. But. And apparently they remain friends for a long time and where, you know, she has a lot of love for him. But I, I did print the movie poster.

Yes.

Because it's peak. Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton, but repping the mustache community. Yeah.

And the boobs, man, those are boobs. With Burton Dolly, this much fun just couldn't be legal. Legal couldn't read it.

Yeah. I mean, it's a. It's a fun romp.

As we said last week. It's a film.

It's a film.

It's a film.

It's a film.

Yeah.

I don't know if it's. I will say as having just gone to Dollywood, there is a whole thing that you go through of her whole career and they have like big, like they had a big 9 to 5 section, all this stuff. And there's like one poster that's like smaller than a movie size poster of.

The best little horror.

She's like, let's downplay that one. Don't love it.

I think it's also important to note you're wearing a Dolly Parton.

I did, I did. Yeah. Make sure and wear my Dolly Parton sweatshirt today.

Just repping her hard. I like it.

No.

All right, what do you got, Heath, for your next.

Have you guys heard of a song called Gloria by Laura Brannigan?

I love that song so much. I don't know if I have.

What.

I think you'd like it.

I take your word for it. I think you. Yeah.

That song was released in the middle of 1982 and was the second single from her debut album.

And who was it by?

Laura Brannigan.

Okay.

Yeah.

Just to see if you recognize it.

Oh, yeah, I do. Okay, yeah. All right, I got it, I got it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't. Never knew it was called Gloria, I don't think. But she says Gloria like a bunch of times. Right? Yeah. And still wouldn't have said, oh yeah. That song Gloria never would have got there.

So Gloria, Laura Brannigan came out in 1982. Her version of the song is a cover of an Italian song from the late 1970s.

Oh, yeah.

So her version of the song wasn't a big hit right away, but then the dance clubs, aka 1982, started playing it, and its popularity kind of blew up at that point, and it eventually sold more than 2 million copies in the United States.

The gays, drive culture.

Her performance in the song was nominated for a Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, but lost to Melissa Manchester's. You should hear how she talks about you. A song I've never fucking heard of.

What? Yeah, talk about it. Yeah. What? And who's Melissa Manchester?

Well. Oh, she played Blossom's deadbeat mom, if you remember the show. Blossom.

Yes.

She was the one that was never there and would just show up occasionally, like, with, like, oh, I'm gonna take you away from all this. And I'm gonna, you know, talking about her fabulous life and all this stuff. And then she just, like, leave in the middle of the night.

You. Melissa Manchester, also.

Is that a real name? Manchester? It feels like you were in witness protection and they were like, hold up. You're not supposed to be popular. This is not what you're supposed to do.

Supposed to win a Grammy.

Pull the single.

Her song Don't Cry Out Loud, which was, I think, more popular anyway, if you remember Drop Dead Gorgeous, the contestant in the wheelchair, because she's got an.

It's a terrible song.

She lip syncs to it. That's the song she lip syncs.

Oh, my God. Aaron's lost it.

It's so bad. So bad. Oh, wow. Don't cry out loud, bitch.

Yep. Quit your fussing. I should have sang it to that mouse.

Yeah, yeah.

Quit your fussing.

Quit your fussing, Mrs. Brisby.

That's the country version of it.

Yeah.

Anyway, the song had second life in the past few years, which is, I think, almost more interesting than the original song itself. In a pretty strange and wonderful turn of events, it's become the unofficial victory song for the St. Louis Blues Hockey team.

Really?

Yeah. What? So at the beginning of 2019, the Blues had had. They had the worst record in the NHL, Right? The season had been going terrible. They'd fired their coach in the middle of the season. Their goalie was an inexperienced rookie. Everyone just assumed this season was basically a lost cause. So while in Philadelphia for an away game In January of 2019, a few of the Blues players were in a bar watching a football game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Chicago Bears. Every Time there was a commercial during the game, someone in the bar would yell, play Gloria. And the DJ would play the song and the whole bar would go crazy. Like, everyone just loved it. So the next day, the Blues won their hockey game against the Philadelphia Flyers. And the players decided the song was a good luck charm. So when they beat Philadelphia on January 7, it was the rookie goalies first start, you know, the new goalie, and the team played Gloria in the locker room. So they decided the song was helping. And then they played it after every win. And when the D. The. The arena dj, which I didn't know was a drum, the arena DJ heard about that, he began playing the song in the arena as sort of a rallying thing. And so after they started this ritual of playing Gloria, the team won 11 games in a row. They'd gone from having the worst record in the. In the league to winning 11 games in a row.

Laura Brannigan saved them.

So radio station Y98 in St. Louis played the song for 24 hours straight three times that season. When the Blues won their playoff game against the Dallas playoff series, against the Dallas Stars, when they defeated the San Jose Sharks to win the Western Conference Championship. And when they defeated the Boston Bruins to win the Stanley Cup. Now this in January of the season, they had the worst record in the league.

And then they won the Stanley Cup.

And then they won the Stanley Cup. By the end, the seat, like in May or June or whenever they do.

The Stanley Cup, I feel like playing it for 24 hours straight feels like an overreaction. Like maybe we just play it once, like at the same time every day or something, like as a celebration.

The bands Fish and Vampire Weekend were both performing concerts in St. Louis the night they won the Stanley Cup. So both bands performed a cover of the song when they found out the Blues had won. Unfortunately, Laura Brannigan wasn't around to kind of see the song's resurgence in popularity, as she had died in her sleep in 2004. She had a cerebral aneurysm. So, and I think I've mentioned this on this podcast before, but when I was a kid, my aunt would drive me and my brothers around in her gold Transit. Yeah, you did put the T tops out. And we'd insist that she would play this song on her eight track Player Classic.

That is the best use of the song you've said so far.

Had we made her turn the volume up as loud as possible, we'd be going down the highway.

Oh, my God.

And it was maybe the most fun I've ever, ever had. I don't know.

I think at the time you mentioned this, you're like maybe the coolest you'd ever been to.

Yes. So, yeah. I mean, the song's 40 years old, still slaps. Just ask anybody in St. Louis. They will tell you that it's a fantastic song.

No wonder it helped them win the Stanley Cup.

Wow.

And it's just wow. I mean, because. Yeah. I mean, the lyrics have nothing, nothing to do with hockey or sports or anything like that. It's just about this lady named Gloria who, you know, took a lover in the afternoon.

Yeah, yeah.

She's fucking around a lot and. Yeah, get it.

Gloria.

Yeah. And that's the other thing I think that's funny about my aunt playing this for us. You know, we were like 7 or 8 years old. Like, we didn't know that Gloria was doing the afternoon. She was a poor.

She was a poor.

I love that story so much. The T top my next one is also a movie and it's called Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Oh, yeah.

Yep.

This, we might call this a seminal teen comedy slash drama movie. It's set in Southern California and the movie follows a group of high school students at Ridgemont High during the school year. And maybe our main character is 15 year old Stacy, who is Jennifer Jason Lee. And she is best friends with her slightly older friend Linda, who is Phoebe Cates. And Linda is saying, like, I have sex all the time and you need to explore your sexuality and blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay.

To a 15 year old.

To a 15 year old. So Stacy taking that advice, she hooks up with a 26 year old guy in a baseball. Baseball dugout for her first time.

Oh, yeah.

So then she's like, that was kind of weird. But then she is sort of friends with Mark Ratner who works at the movie theater. She works at the pizza place in the mall. He works at the movie theater. And Mark and her kind of flirting, whatever. Mark is friends, though, with a guy named Mike demonet. And Damone is just a douchebag. He's. He's the kind of guy who says he has a five point plan for picking up girls. So he's trying to count five points.

Yeah, yeah.

He's trying to counsel Mark on how to, you know, do this relationship. Well, kind of thing. Unfortunately, though, he ends up hooking up with Stacy.

Oh, God, Stacy.

Yeah. Causing a rift between the two friends, naturally. And unfortunately, Stacy gets pregnant from Damone and Phoebe.

Tell her about that.

Phoebe Cates is conspicuously absent from this discussion. And she chooses to have an abortion without telling her parents. She does involve her older brother, though, and his name is Brad Hamilton. And Brad is played by Judge Reinhold.

Okay.

And he is. This is his senior year and he pictured it going amazing. He's working at this burger place. He's got a good role. He's got a girlfriend. He's like. Like, things are going great. But immediately, senior year, things start going real bad. He loses his job. His girlfriend breaks up with him. So he's going through a tough time.

Because she just wanted a burger shop.

Apparently she was a Puget Sound.

She was the burger chain version of a Puget sound. So Brad's having a tough year. It doesn't help that during this year, one time, Stacy and Linda are at the house. They're in the pool, playing in the pool. And Brad is in the bathroom and he's looking out the window, and he sees Linda coming out of the pool in a red Bikini Phoebe Cates. Probably one of the iconic movie scenes she's coming out to moving in stereo from cars. He proceeds to have a whole fantasy about her taking her top off and inviting him to, you know, make sweet love to her.

Meanwhile, in his parents pool.

Yeah. Meanwhile, she is actually trying to get into the bathroom as she opens the door. And he's jerking off while she catches. She catches him jerking off to her. Yeah. So very embarrassing. Also happening during all this time is there's a surfer slash stoner called Jeff Spicoli, played by Sean Penn. And his main thing this year is he's constantly clashing with Mr. Hand, this uptight history teacher.

Mr. Hand.

Yes. And they're having lots of, like, back and forth little fights and things. But in the end, Mr. Hand really tries to help Spicoli pass this final test or something so that he can graduate. Lots of other things are happening and everything, but the movie ends with the end of the school year. You know, Brad graduates things, things are doing okay. Stacy Ratner. Stacy and Mark are actually dating, but they haven't gone all the way. So some. Some fun facts about this movie. This was based on a 1981 book by Cameron Crowe, who went on to do so many movies we love and everything. He went undercover as a high school student at age 22 and he wrote a book about it. So if you remember the movie Almost.

Famous, I just don't think it's necessary.

Not that far out of teenage 21 Jump Street. It and just went back.

I was gonna say, did they make the movie Never Been Kissed based On his experience.

Yeah, if we remember, like Almost Famous, it showed basically his story of becoming a Rolling Stone journalist when he was a kid. So he. I guess he just had to keep upping the ante on different journalism assignments or something, but that's what he did here. So he. When he was in school, he met a bunch of people and they turned into sort of composite characters for this book. So then the movie script was first offered to David lynch to direct and he was like, yeah, it's cool. I'm good. So then, not my scene. I'm gonna go haunt the dreams of people in Tim. Twin Peaks. So this ended up being the first feature film by Amy Heckerling, who went on to do Clueless. She was only 28 at the time and she was a lone woman in a very male dominated field as well as male dominated movies. Movies. In maybe no surprise to anyone, Sean Penn was a total asshole during the filming. He stayed in character as Spicoli the entire shoot. He introduced himself as Spicoli and refused to respond to his real name on set. He even had his trailer labeled Spicoli.

I feel like there are some characters where. Yeah, you need to do that. Like if you're like in something like the Godfather, you're deep, serious into stuff. I feel like being a stoner high school student, like, you should be able to sort of pop in and out of that fairly easily.

This is not it. Not it. There were a lot of famous people in this. People that became famous, obviously Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Forest Whitaker was in it. Nicolas Cage, Eric Stoltz, Anthony Edwards, all of them smaller roles, but they went on to. Actually. Nicholas Cage tried to play Brad, but. And he lied about his age to get the bigger part, but he was only 17, so he couldn't get that part for some reason.

That's probably fine. I mean, he's. Yeah, his chops aren't great.

Yes.

Apparently my national treasure, too.

It's my piece of evidence.

Apparently there was a. I think it was the scene with Stacy and Damone, a sex scene that was very graphic and where we saw full male frontal nudity. And so the movie got an X rating at first, which was the Kiss of Death. Yeah. Which is. Is now NC17. But yeah, you get an X rating and you're.

Yep.

So they trimmed that scene down and they eventually got an R rating. But yeah, like it. You know, it's very sort of frank discussion about sex and abortion and everything. So it was a pretty. Pretty groundbreaking. So Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

That's tough to follow. All right, this is weird for me, but I brought another movie because I know it's very strange, but this one, I'm gonna play a little song because this is why this movie is in my head and will be forever and ever.

Okay. Oh, my God. This is Robin Hood.

Because if you don't recognize that song, I don't know what you were doing in 1982, because I. It was originally. It is a Walt Disney film, animated. It was first released in 1973, but they re released it in 1980. 82, I think, because they felt like it didn't get the following or the, you know, like, movies were movies geared towards kids, and that stuff is really, like, taking off. And they're like, we have an opportunity here to make.

Or maybe they were like, don Bluth left us. So now we have to.

Yeah, now we just have to recite. Because I don't remember. There's another Disney movie. They re released that year, but I can't remember what it is off the top of my head. Another animated one. So you might be right that they were just like, we lost a bunch of animators and we don't know what to do. But.

And I think back in the day with Disney, too, like, without. Before VCRs were a thing and before cable TV was a thing and before streaming and all that, like, people couldn't see Robin Hood unless it was in the theaters. Like, you know, they could sort of trot out their old stuff and make.

More money off of it, famously. The vault, right? It's going into the vault. And you have to buy the VHS before it goes into the vault. Forever.

The clamshell vhs, or else you're never gonna see it again.

They did that in the 90s. I remember when I worked at Target, and they would be like, oh, you know, Sleeping Beauty is going back in the vault. And I'm like, we'd have to take it off the shelf and they'd just be in the stock room at Target, and we'd have to, like, before someone shipped it back to Disney. I'm like, can't we just finish fucking selling these? Like, I don't know why.

So dumb. So the thing for me is the narrator, the rooster minstrel, Alan Adale, who just sings that little ditty everywhere he goes. And he has, like, that kind of, like, weird little, you know. Well, Robin Hood went down and he found out that, you know, like, that he narrates the whole entire movie. And, I mean, we all kind of know the story of Robin Hood. But the movie follows Robin Hood, Little John and the inhabitants of Nottingham as they fight against the excessive taxation of Prince John, who is a bumbling idiot of a king prince who decides that he's just gonna tax everything so that he can get more money.

Which it seems familiar.

It really does. I don't know where I've heard. Is that from 1982? Does that feel like. Interesting. So strange. He's also really offended when people don't like him. Prince John.

It's very strange, fascinating.

And okay, so Robin Hood continues to have these fights with him. He's trying to basically take the money, return it to the people. In the meantime, there's also a love story with Maid Marian. And Prince John is also interested in Maid Marian, but Robin Hood eventually bests him and wins her hand. So what I liked about it is that I didn't realize at the time, but I can't tell you the number of times I've seen this movie. There are scenes flashing right now through my head like, I know that movie back and forth inside and out. For some reason. I watched it a million times and I really, truly believe that it had to do with the rooster. I don't know why else. I really liked that research.

I don't remember much of it.

I really loved that song. So critics originally panned it saying that it used too much recycled animation from other files, but has since it's become a cult classic, obviously. But they said that there was animation and characters that they pulled from other old movies that didn't do well from Disney. And they put them in this. Which sort of gives credence to some of the.

Yeah.

Unrest and stuff with the animals at the time.

The team leaving.

Yeah, yeah. Jay Cox of Time at the time said, Robin's Hood basic problem is that it is rather too pretty and good natured. They just thought there was no substance to it because apparently we were in Secrets of Nim Time. We wanted things to be darkness, scar.

The fuck out of kids.

Yeah. And Robin. And to that, Jay Cox, I say, what about the fire in the church? What about the fire in the church with the bunny mom and the mouse mom trying to get the.

Their kids are in the movie.

Yes.

Okay. Remember that.

Terrifying.

It's also worth noting that all of the characters are animals. Robin Hood is a.

Yes. I'm sorry, I might not have mentioned at the beginning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all played by animals. Yeah. So Prince John is a weird, bumbling tiger. No, Lion. Lion.

Lion.

Yeah. Gene Siskel said 80 minutes of Pratt Falls and nincompoop dialogue and said the animation was Saturday morning TV cartoon stuff. Stuff.

Wow.

And to that I say, sit down. You are done.

That's not even really a burn. That's not a raid, like, Saturday morning cartoon.

And I was like, if you can take that rooster's tasty riff and not enjoy it for all time, then I don't know if I can trust you anymore. Gene Siskel. It is a classic. It is. I don't know if you can. If it's still played or how that all works now with the Disney Vault.

I bet it's on Disney.

Yeah, it probably is, but it is kind of worth a rewatch. I've watched it with Mason Sense, and it's. There's a lot of funny. I mean, he's kind of right in the sense that there's a lot of just funny happenings with Robin Hood.

And see, that's probably age appropriate.

It is age appropriate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah.

And maybe when you leave, you don't know more about, like, the Russian Revolution.

And it's real simple, like, take the money, robbing the rich to feed the poor type of situation. So, yeah.

You're not worried about being an orphan. And, yeah.

I remember deeply connecting with the rabbit character that was trying to run the church and feed all of her family, and she just kept having to pay taxes to Prince John and his henchmen Came one time and stole all of her money. And she's like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Robin Hood. And Robin Hood was just devastated and went and got her stuff to help, and she's like, you're our hero.

Wow.

Yeah. And I remember just thinking, like, I don't. Yeah, that's right. That's what you should do. You should to do exactly what he did. No moral problems for me. 100%. Love it.

Yep. Yeah. Nice. Wow. Two movies.

I know, it's weird.

1982 was a good year for you, even though you're one.

Well, as soon. Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Good stuff, everybody.

82.

82.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know what that was, but I love it. I love it.

Perfect noise for 1980.

Fuzzy Memories is a broads and books production. It's hosted by Heath Smith, Aaron Johnston, and Amy Lee Lillard. Big thanks to our supporters on Patreon, especially those at the Make Me Famous level, including Haley Scarpino, Nick Thornton, Daniela Barzallo, Matthew Serbek, and last name Greatest. Sign up at our Patreon for bonuses and new stuff. And be sure to follow us @fuzzymemories pod on Instagram for clips and highlights. See you next time.

So have you seen the movie Megan?

No.

With the animatronic?

No, no, I wouldn't.

I'd skip it.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm terrified as it is, but yeah, this is where we're at. The weirdest thing for me is when he dances because he can actually kind of dance, and it's very off putting, which is why he doesn't get put on my desk anymore. Because one time I fell for it. I put him on my desk. He was cool for a little bit. I was working, and then all of a sudden this. What sounded like a mariachi band started up and he started moving across my dance desk dancing. And I was like, no, we're done with.

That's. You basically have a cat now because, yeah, the cat's getting up to hijinks. Or a dog.

It also came. You could pick an outfit for it. Like an outfit you can put on the little robot. And Mason's obsessed with corgis, so I got it a little corgi outfit. I had to take it off day two because I was like, it is so alarming to have him in the tiny corgi outfit dance. I can't do it.