1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,160 On this episode of the Dudes and Dads podcast, we talk with Egan Edwards about his story. 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:11,120 You're listening to the Dudes and Dads podcast, a show dedicated to helping men be 3 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:16,560 better dudes and dads by building community through meaningful conversation and storytelling. 4 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,600 And now here are your hosts, Joel Demont and Andy Layman. Joel Demont. 5 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,040 Hi, you don't look like you're in studio with me. Andrew Layman. 6 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,040 You're not in studio with me, are you? 7 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:35,520 No, I'm coming to you from a hotel room in an undisclosed location. 8 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,760 Wow, that's always interesting. 9 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,000 Just for the record, I'm the only one here. 10 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:43,440 All right, all right. 11 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:56,320 Okay, so welcome. As you all can see, Joel is not in studio with us today. 12 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:06,080 Yeah, yeah, I've got, so just to let our listeners know, I, as many of you know, I'm, 13 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:10,880 I serve as CEO for Big Bars, Big Sisters of Southern Lake Michigan region. And 14 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:17,520 I'm really excited. We've got a meeting with all of the executive directors and CEOs for Big 15 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:23,680 Bars, Big Sisters in the whole state of Indiana tomorrow. So I am down in Indianapolis actually 16 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:28,640 and going to have a, going to be spending all day with those good folks. So excited about that. 17 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:34,640 That's what I'm here for. Andy, as we get to the top of the show here and as we start, 18 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:41,520 I've just been thinking that maybe we need to like add at the beginning of the show to, 19 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:47,120 to kind of like a better hook, like something to draw people in or what would that be? 20 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:54,000 Well, so here, just like, like to create some drama, to create some tension to get people 21 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,360 at the edge of their, on the edge of their seats. I mean, drama's, drama's good, right? 22 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:02,160 So like, starting the show off with like, you know, you do your opening like you just did, 23 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:09,120 like here's our guest. And then I come on and say, and also on this episode, we find out who Andy's 24 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:18,720 real dad is. Or, or what, which by the way, your real dad is Chuck Layman. He is. But people don't 25 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:24,640 know that. So it still creates the sensation of being on the edge of their seat. You see, like, 26 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:31,200 maybe we didn't know what we thought we knew. Or, or something like, or on this episode, 27 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:35,040 we find out why Andy is terrified of sour cream. 28 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,160 Uh, wow. 29 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:42,400 Where's the cream cheese? It's cream cheese. That's why I was really thrown by a loop there. 30 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,560 On this episode, we find out why Andy is terrified of cream cheese. 31 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,120 All right. I like it. Let's do it next time. 32 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:54,400 Yeah. So that's, that I just wanted to get you prepped for that. Like, that's, that's what I 33 00:02:54,400 --> 00:03:02,240 want to add. Add suspense to the show, but not a suspense in the show, Andy. Uh, and 34 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,720 none of our listeners have ever told me that, but I still feel it. I can feel it from them. 35 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:12,720 They want more suspense, more suspense. Well, I'm at the edge of my seat. I'm at the edge of my seat, 36 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:19,600 but to break that, that suspense, we have feedback from a listener from our last episode, which I 37 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:24,160 wouldn't remind you of as the end of the light documentary about pornography. And so Joel, can 38 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:30,400 you read that feedback for me? I would love, I would love to. Yeah. That was super great. So 39 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,960 hey, our friend and our friend and faithful listener, Andy, I think it's fair to say. 40 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:39,520 Yeah, absolutely. Friend and faithful listener, huge supporter of the show. Uh, an OG, 41 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:44,480 an OG to the show was, was an early adopter, which we, we know those kind of people are special. 42 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:49,120 Cause when this show started off, Andy, let's just be clear. If you were supporting us, 43 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:54,880 it was your mother or my mother, one of the two. Yes, correct. Yeah. It was our moms. 44 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:59,520 It was our moms and, and, and our wives sometimes, sometimes. Yeah. 45 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:05,600 So no, our good friend, uh, Ty Miller, uh, wrote to us, Hey brothers, absolutely love 46 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:13,360 that you had one of the creators of the end of the light, uh, on due to the other being sick. 47 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:17,040 Yeah. So hopefully we get to talk to both those guys at one time someday. 48 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:22,000 Uh, so glad you're on the podcast. Speaking about pornography, it is in my opinion, 49 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:27,120 one of the most needed items, which should be discussed by men over nearly all the other 50 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:33,840 aspects due to just massively de-habilitating, uh, destruction, the de-habilitating destruction 51 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:41,440 that it has on and through nearly all aspects of life, not to mention struggling with some of, uh, 52 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:47,200 pornography, not to mention struggling with some form of pornography is about as common amongst 53 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:53,600 men as sin is itself. Yeah. Uh, I can personally still remember the night I left my house and my 54 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:58,800 bride of less than a year with a trash bag of clothes and the keys to my truck, having zero 55 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:04,960 clue if I was ever going to be allowed back, uh, uh, into my life. My wife had discovered 56 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:11,040 pornography on my computer that night in the days, weeks, months and years, which followed and are 57 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:15,440 still occurring. Some of the most powerful re, uh, and are still occurring, some of the most 58 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:21,520 powerful resources were thanks to other men and women at times who have been willing to either 59 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:27,040 sit down with me personally and talk, record interviews themselves or possibly in litter, 60 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:35,120 in literature form as well. Thank you, uh, to both of you for bringing light, no pun intended, 61 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:40,480 to a discussion which can never be discussed enough. After all, like I tell men that end up 62 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:47,680 talking to me about pornography, our sinful addiction and only thrive in the darkness and 63 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:54,400 we must drag it into the light, uh, to God daily. God bless brothers of mine. Ty, man, we look, 64 00:05:54,400 --> 00:06:01,120 first of all, first of all, uh, a brave thing to share here and we, uh, don't take any of that for 65 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:08,800 granted. That's a really amazing thing. Um, so thank you, Ty. That's encouraging and helpful 66 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:14,720 and we hope it's helping others. Uh, and to your point, it's a big issue and we know it's a big 67 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:22,720 issue. And so that's why we bring on who we bring on. And, uh, so for every tie out there, we know 68 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,960 there are others. Yeah. And so we thank you for the encouragement. Super great. Absolutely. 69 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:31,120 Super great. Absolutely. Uh, tonight, we are going to be chatting with Ian Edwards. But first, 70 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:36,720 I want to remind you that support comes from ever since financial helping members invest in what 71 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:43,280 last through financial services with impact more at everants.com slash michiana securities offered 72 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:50,400 through concourse financial group securities incorporated member member F I N R A S I PC. 73 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:56,480 Well, I did tease it. We are, uh, Ian Edwards is on with us tonight. Ian, welcome to the show. 74 00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,160 Glad to have you here. Yeah. Thanks. I'm glad to be here. Uh, you had to sit through all of our 75 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:05,920 our major. You're probably wondering what I signed myself up for, but you were actually, 76 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:11,360 we've given them a warning in a way. So we'll see. Right. And you're actually in Joel's seat 77 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:16,960 tonight. So you get to take that spot. I gave him the upgraded seat, Joel. I figured, let's not 78 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:22,000 put him on the, on the guest seat. Let's put him actually in the nice leathery, whatever, Jack, 79 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:27,520 whatever good thing that is. Yeah. Yeah. And now that you mentioned it, when we do have guests 80 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,880 in studio that we, we, the seating needs to, we should give him the better seat. Yeah. 81 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:38,960 It's like, we're happy to see you like, uh, like a hand me down of a hand me down of an office chair. 82 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,600 Hey, at least just, uh, at least we don't have the, the couches that were in the youth room 83 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:49,280 at one point that, that, that's true. That'd be bad. No one wants to sit on those couches. 84 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,760 Yeah. No. Yeah. They stink like several teenage boys. 85 00:07:53,760 --> 00:08:00,320 Anyway, welcome to the store, the show. Uh, I've had the chance to get to know you. 86 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:05,600 You are the youth pastor at Clinton frame. And, uh, so I've got a chance to know you. 87 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:10,320 I'm not, well, I'm not working with youth anymore. My kids are all in the youth ball, 88 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:15,120 almost all my kids are in the youth group and have had nothing but good things to say about you. So 89 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:20,320 I, uh, I, I've heard your story both, uh, at the pastor's retreat a little bit, you know, as we 90 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:25,120 talked, you know, a couple of like one-on-one as well as, uh, when you shared your story here at 91 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:29,840 Clinton frame. So, um, if you want to just kind of start out wherever you feel like starting out, 92 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:34,880 and we'll kind of ask, go you from there. So welcome. Sure. Thanks. Feel free to ask a lot of 93 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:42,640 questions. Um, my story can be a hot mess as far as knowing where to start, uh, which elements, 94 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:51,840 uh, to showcase God working in my life through my story. So, um, let's go back to 1994. I was 12 95 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:57,840 years old. So you do the math later if you want. Well, just so you know, in 1994, I was starting 96 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:07,280 high school. So nice. So yeah, 94, um, I was at a vacation Bible school and I just, I was at a place 97 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:14,320 in my life where I was seeking. I was not getting what I needed at home through my parents. Um, and 98 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:20,160 the gospel was presented though. It was, it was a logical step for me. It was, it was really simple, 99 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:27,040 but I felt like, um, going to God, starting a relationship with Jesus was just kind of going 100 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:32,240 home. It was a safe place for me to be at, not like the home environment I was coming from. 101 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:39,760 Um, so, um, at that time I had been five years into my parents having been divorced. Um, 102 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:50,560 there was sexual abuse happening in my life. Um, watched and participated with my dad with drugs 103 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:58,480 and alcohol. He would, um, he would have full on pornography on the TV and, and not really 104 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:05,120 bother to change the channel or, uh, I guess pause the VHS tape at the time, um, when I came in the 105 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:10,720 room. So it was, it was really my dad doing his own thing. And I was just kind of an inconvenience 106 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:15,840 to him at the time. Well, at 12, two, I mean, even just the, the parents separating, that's a huge 107 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:23,280 thing for you to take in and try to deal with as a 12 year old. Yeah. So. Absolutely. I think my, 108 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:28,000 my kids are eight and nine now and just thinking of them having their mom and dad in a different 109 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:34,080 home. It's horrible. Yeah. And then, and then not to, to mention just when that happens, then 110 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:39,600 as, as parents, you know, the morals that your dad may have may be different than your mom. And 111 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:44,400 like you said, you know, yeah, it just kind of goes spirals out from there. Well, that was the 112 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:52,320 weird thing. Um, so all that stuff, plus some cool stuff like firearms and hunting. Um, but, uh, 113 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:58,080 with dad, uh, but mom had me in church every time the doors were open, uh, really, uh, demonstrated 114 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:02,960 Jesus to me and, and her lifestyle, the best that she could. Sure. I suppose that that's 115 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:08,400 even confusing to you because you have one parent who's living this life of being in a church 116 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:13,360 anytime the doors open. And then the other one who's exactly opposite of that. So it's 117 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:17,920 for you to decide like what, where do, where do I stand in this? That's gotta be hard. Yes. 118 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:24,480 Yes. So, uh, I like that you guys were speaking about the, the pornography issue that's, that's 119 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:33,680 rampant in men and some women too, but men for sure. Um, so that lifestyle, I grew up in that 120 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:38,160 they, I learned a big word called ambivalence where you, you're, you're loving something, 121 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:44,640 but you kind of hate it at the same time. Um, a foot in both worlds and definitely, um, 122 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:49,360 had a foot in both worlds. So loving God, growing in Christ at the same time, 123 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,600 just steeped with sin, sin life piled on my shoulders. 124 00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,880 Told you of any, you look, you look like you're, you're like, you're very like deep in thought. 125 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,800 So I thought you had a question. It's weird cause I'm sitting here. I'm like, I'm like 126 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:11,920 watching this like a TV show. It's like, oh, all right. I'm, I'm also here participating. Right. 127 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:18,800 Yeah. So, you know, Ian, when I, when I, when I hear that kind of the beginning of that story, 128 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:30,240 I, I do wonder, um, like did, did you, well, I mean, so mom and, mom and dad, 129 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:36,240 how old were you when they, when they split up? I was seven. You were seven. Yeah. So, 130 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:45,360 um, and, uh, like, so as you're, you're growing up, are you, you're shared like equal time 131 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:49,600 between the, between the houses? Oh yeah. It was so goofy. I would be four months with mom, 132 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:54,880 then four months with dad. While I was with one, it was every other weekend with the other. 133 00:12:55,840 --> 00:13:00,320 Wow. So, which was a different school system each time I switched as well. So that's good. 134 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:05,120 Yeah. That's going to be rough. Oh yeah. It is about, I think seven or eight different schools 135 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:16,160 growing up is, is the count I have. So how, yeah, I mean, wow, that's the end of itself is, uh, 136 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:22,960 a massive challenging thing. So like, what did friendships look like for you in that, in that 137 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:29,760 season and like how you were developing those and all of that in the midst of all that, 138 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:35,040 all that other stuff. Absolutely. So a lot of that stuff was secret and I didn't tell anyone 139 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:41,520 so I went to school as my, my normal quote unquote normal self. Um, I got bullied a lot. 140 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:47,040 I didn't fit in with, uh, the, the popular crowd, the in crowd and I grew to resent that crowd, 141 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:53,680 actually. Uh, even today I struggle with, uh, um, endorsing new brands or anything. I have to wear 142 00:13:53,680 --> 00:14:02,160 plain clothes and that kind of thing. But, um, honestly, until I discovered the social aspect 143 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:09,840 of drug use, I was bullied. And, and then once I stepped through that door, um, maybe around 144 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:15,760 14 or 15, uh, moving to a new school was no problem because I found my people immediately. 145 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:21,440 They knew what I was all about. I knew what they were all about. Yeah. You said at 12, 146 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:27,280 you were participating with the drugs and alcohol, but it wasn't until like 14 that you were social 147 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:31,760 about it. Correct. Is that correct? Okay. Yeah. Absolutely. All right. And so I guess what, what 148 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:38,400 changed there? What made you come out of, of, uh, you know, hiding and going into, into public, 149 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:44,480 into public, into like a social aspect of that? Um, I really just didn't like myself. I didn't 150 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:51,840 like the guy that got picked on. I had tried sports. I was okay. Right. Yeah. Um, I started 151 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:58,240 getting sort of good at wrestling and football. Um, but at 15, I broke my leg and then I was 152 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:04,880 completely done. It was a nasty break. Um, cast for 12 weeks up to the crotch. It was horrible. 153 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:09,920 Wow. Uh, yeah. So wheelchair and everything. And I got picked on for that. So that's, 154 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:14,080 and that's tough, especially. Yeah. Going back to the fact of your parents being separated. 155 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:20,240 So you have this already fractured like system family system. And then you have on top of that, 156 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:27,200 you're throwing youth, you know, being mean to you also then too. Yeah. Kids, kids are cruel. 157 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:34,640 Yeah. Definitely. So go ahead and continue. Um, wow. So I guess from that point on, I, 158 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:39,760 I kind of continued and then obviously as I got older, things became legal for me to do the, 159 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:45,360 especially the drinking and the bar scene. Um, I had done so much by the time I was able to 160 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:51,120 legally buy alcohol though, that, um, I was actually in the waning years of my drinking phase. 161 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:59,840 And it was bad. Uh, I remember, uh, my 21st birthday, the next day at work, I was sick and 162 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:07,840 it was just all about competing and, and seeing who could take the most alcohol and, um, you know, 163 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:14,560 sex at the time was a big part of that. So, uh, you know, that was just another notch on the, 164 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:21,760 on the belt. Um, so the drugs, the alcohol, the promiscuity, I guess you could say so. Yeah. 165 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:32,000 Yeah. Um, did you have a question sounding like it? Yeah. So I think, and this is a conversation 166 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:37,840 that I have, you know, I, with my, my wife and I have had this conversation and we're 167 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:46,880 we're always thinking about our own children when it comes to like risk factors and, and, and 168 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:51,760 particularly, you know, in my years of youth work too, like you're always concerned about that kid 169 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:59,520 that, um, they're, that doesn't quite fit in, in a way, right? Like doesn't have a place or 170 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:04,000 their group or their tribe and they keep on looking for that. And you can tell that they 171 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:08,960 really want to find that because we all want relationship. We all want community. And I think 172 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,880 it was really telling, like when you say, like when you go to a new school, like you knew right 173 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:21,840 where to look in terms of finding a group of people that were, you know, using drugs, essentially, 174 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:32,240 um, and abusing alcohol. Um, what, like, as you think back to that experience, um, 175 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:38,160 like, how does it, in a certain way, because I want to, you know, keep on like following through 176 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:43,280 your story, but like even right now, as you think now as a, as a father and as a, as a youth 177 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:49,680 worker and all of that, um, how has it shaped your approach to like, you know, maybe even 178 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:55,600 raising, like raising your own kids and, and the kids that you lead and are looking out for and 179 00:17:55,600 --> 00:18:01,840 trying to like advocate for, um, now in your, your later years of life. Yeah. That's a great question. 180 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:08,640 Um, the ironic thing is one thing that has all done for me is, um, when I see the students that 181 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:15,120 have a stable family life and their parents are financially stable as well, and they love each 182 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:22,160 other and God is a part of their life. I actually am turned off by that in my pursuit of students. 183 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:27,280 It's like, you know, you guys are good to go. You don't need me that much. You know, Jesus 184 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:33,760 already, you know, the Bible, you know, um, you're comfortable. Um, and I almost see students like 185 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:39,280 that almost as if they're arrogant. I know it kind of sounds funny, but, um, when you've been 186 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:45,280 forced into humility your whole life, uh, you see this, this overconfidence that comes naturally 187 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:50,160 and it's a good thing. And this is just my woundiness speaking, but, um, you see that almost 188 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:57,360 as a form of arrogance. I was just explaining that to someone the other day. Um, but my niche, um, 189 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:04,800 especially in ministry is, is to find those, um, I guess you could say marginalized students. Um, 190 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:10,800 um, and I feel like it's one of the gifts God has given me that I can see woundedness in others. 191 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:17,040 So I can see they're struggling socially. They're not fitting into the group. Um, I'm just pulled 192 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:22,480 towards them. I want to be there. Everything I can, you know, if they allow me to be their dad 193 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:28,560 or their friend or, um, represent Jesus to them or, or even speak truth into their lives about 194 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:36,480 scripture, um, that's my jam. Awesome. Awesome. So, so moving, moving on, continuing to move on, 195 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:42,480 you know, you're legal list at this point, you're legal, you're 21 ish and you said that, 196 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:48,720 you know, you're, you're kind of at the end of your drinking necessarily, right? Yes. Let's step 197 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:55,200 forward on that. What, what happens next? Okay. So, uh, several trips to jail, um, 198 00:19:55,200 --> 00:20:06,400 um, one final trip to jail, uh, last time I was, uh, he's 23, 22, 23, I had moved away to Detroit 199 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:13,200 all by myself to take a big fancy job and a friend's band from out of town was at the local bar. 200 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:21,040 Too much to drink, got pulled over. Uh, it was my second DUI. Um, so long story short, I lost the 201 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:27,280 great job. I had to move home. I tried living with friends for about a year, alcohol free, 202 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:33,920 but I still wanted to, uh, dabble in some other areas. Um, I had an AA sponsor at the time who 203 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:41,360 told me that doesn't count as being sober. So I got angry and quit AA. Um, uh, so I did that for 204 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:46,320 a year, moved in with my mom and stepdad. Um, very humbling to move back in with your mom 205 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:52,640 at 23 after having successfully paid your own bills and been out on your own. Um, 206 00:20:54,080 --> 00:21:01,200 and they were, uh, they were in a place where they were looking for a new church. So I joined 207 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:10,240 them on that mission and we found a place in, uh, in the Duwajak, Michigan area. And while we were 208 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:18,160 there, the pastor gave a sermon and he talked about being in sexual bondage. So as you can imagine, 209 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:23,040 I, I, I haven't really touched on this, but you could probably imagine I'm pretty steeped in 210 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:28,560 pornography at this time. My other vices were all gone. I'm, I'm chemical free. I'm alcohol, 211 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:34,960 drug free. I'm trying my best not to be promiscuous anymore, but the pornography was a big sticker 212 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:42,000 for me and he gives a sermon on sexual bondage after church. I go to see him and I wanted to just 213 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:47,520 get more from him like, Hey, but that's me. You were talking about me. I get to his office. He's 214 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:52,800 gone already and his wife is sitting there and, and she said, well, what do you want to talk to him 215 00:21:52,800 --> 00:22:00,720 about? No, sorry. And, uh, this woman, uh, pushed me so hard. I finally spilled a little salt. I 216 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:07,440 must have, but the next words out of her mouth just floored me. He had just left for, uh, it's 217 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:13,680 called a salts conference and that's an acronym for survivors of abuse leadership training seminar. 218 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:23,200 And I was just floored that I go to see this guy about this very specific particular thing 219 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:29,360 and he's away at a conference getting training for how to counsel and work through 220 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:37,440 childhood wounds with people exactly like me. Wow. Um, so he came back and we met up, we went 221 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:43,520 through a great book by a down elder, uh, the wounded heart. I strongly recommend that he, um, 222 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:51,280 uh, counseled with me chapter by chapter and after about a year's time, I ended up, uh, 223 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:58,800 prosecuting my abuser. Uh, and the pastor was the very first person I told about the abuse. So 224 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:03,440 the abuse had stopped maybe 16 years prior and I just kept that all in. Um, 225 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:10,880 but I told him, he went with me to my house, um, helped me tell my mom and my stepdad who were 226 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:17,840 just both incredulous. This man was, uh, revered in the, in the family, just looked up upon, 227 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,560 everyone loves him kind of a thing and, and then to hear all this, it was just devastating. So, 228 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:30,240 so, um, but by that point I had gotten my hands on literature and, uh, I was just so aware that, uh, 229 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:36,960 I'm starting to see this, find out the same guy had hurt both of my sisters. Wow. So, um, 230 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:41,840 really glad I went forward with that. It was, it was very healing for me. At the same time, 231 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:47,920 my relationship with God grew quite a bit closer. Awesome. Yeah. Very, very cool. So then 232 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:54,560 moving forward, you, I mean, obviously now you're the youth pastor here. How did that, that whole 233 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:59,440 transpire, not necessarily here, but like going from losing your job in Detroit and then moving 234 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,680 back in with your parents, but how, like, how did you end up where you're at today? 235 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:10,640 Yeah. So I started the college journey. Um, I, I did manual labor and I know you can go to college 236 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:18,480 for manual labor, but, um, I, I got a degree in precision machining and, uh, I realized I don't 237 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:23,040 want to hang out with a bunch of guys in a dark room and make math jokes for the rest of my life. 238 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:28,800 So I went back to school is going to be an elementary special ed teacher. Um, 239 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:35,520 halfway through school, um, married at this point, uh, my wife lost her job. So I quit school and 240 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:42,480 started a construction company. Um, my shoulder started giving out my, my knees, my back. Um, 241 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:48,960 there were days where I couldn't walk unless I had a cane. Um, and I kind of just frustrated, 242 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:54,800 crying out to God, Hey, what do you want me to do with my life? This can't be it. I physically 243 00:24:54,800 --> 00:25:01,360 can't do it. So, um, I'm away on a spiritual retreat weekend. Uh, there was one for teenagers, 244 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:06,720 one weekend and another one for adults, the following weekend. It's just a great mystery 245 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:12,480 I've served with and I'd been on the before and I knew it to expect, uh, as far as the spiritual 246 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:20,000 atmosphere. And I went into it praying, God use this time, this, this special time that's unique 247 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:25,920 to speak to me and tell me what you want me to do with my life. Um, on the second weekend, 248 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:32,000 in the last hour of the weekend, I was supposed to be answering questions on some panel discussion 249 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:39,040 board, but, uh, closed my eyes instead. And I kind of just saw these neon lights in my head, 250 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:45,920 like a, like a sign flashing, go be a pastor and, uh, open my eyes, super excited. Like, wow, 251 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:51,360 I think that was God started driving home a little bit later. And I got another message 252 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:59,440 that said, you are a pastor. So again, just pretty much cried the rest of the way home, 253 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:07,120 got home. I remember holding my wife in the kitchen and just sobbing to her that I finally 254 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:12,080 had this confirmation that I knew what he wanted me to do with my life. And you know, 255 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:17,680 all the woundedness and all the garbage that had happened, he was going to use and redeem. 256 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:24,400 Yeah. That's very cool. Yeah, I, I think, uh, 257 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:35,840 like there's, uh, there's an interesting component to, you know, in ministry calls to 258 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:44,320 ministry, they sound there's, you know, some are, I know mine was much, I think, much more subtle 259 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:49,520 than, uh, than yours and other, other people have, you know, they have all different kinds of, uh, 260 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:59,360 experiences with that calling. What I think was so interesting, uh, is that you have these, 261 00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:08,960 just these series of, um, considerable challenges, heartaches, uh, abuses, all of, all of these sort 262 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:17,200 of things that, um, I'm sure for many people could have kind of taken them out of even considering 263 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:24,400 that they would go into something like that. And so like, so apart from your wife, I'm just, 264 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:30,480 I'm wondering like who came, I'm guessing someone came alongside of you to like discern what that 265 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:35,600 was going to look like for you as you move forward. Yes, absolutely. I went to my pastor 266 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:41,840 immediately and told him what happened and he suggested I go to three men I knew would be 267 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:47,520 objective with me, but men that I looked up to in the faith and basically run it by them, 268 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:55,040 see what they said. I went to my wife's dad, I went to my stepdad and I went to another pastor 269 00:27:55,040 --> 00:28:01,600 friend that I had and, uh, the first two, I kind of knew what they were going to say, 270 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:08,480 but when I went to my stepdad, I was really worried because he's always told me to be a teacher and 271 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:13,840 I see you as a teacher and he's not a man of many words. So when he speaks, you really pay attention 272 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:22,640 and, uh, and he more than affirmed the calling. Um, and then as emotional way as he is capable 273 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:28,720 of doing, he, he affirmed my calling. Well, um, within a week I was signed up, uh, over in 274 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:35,600 Mishawaka at Bethel, now Bethel University, Bethel College back then. Way back when. Way back when, 275 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:43,040 yeah. Very cool. Yes. Very cool. And then now, and now you're here. And now I'm here. Yeah, absolutely. 276 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:49,120 Very, very cool. Well, you know, really, we really enjoy hearing people's stories, you know, life stories 277 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:55,840 and seeing how God uses them and when we're, you know, and your story is, is really awesome. Just 278 00:28:55,840 --> 00:29:03,120 being able to hear, you know, that young kid who, if you were, would have probably looked at you, 279 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,880 you then, you probably would have said, there's no way that you're going to end up being 280 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:11,840 a youth pastor and working with kids and, and look where you're at now and look at, you know, 281 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:20,080 how far God has used you. Amen. So, you know, I'll just, I'll just ask the, I'll ask maybe the, 282 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:24,320 the other hard question, because obviously you're serving in youth ministry now. Um, 283 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,480 um, has it ever been a concern for you that by sharing, like by sharing your story or 284 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:32,560 telling about your background that you would, that some people would like in terms of 285 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,920 entering into a ministry role that people would not receive you well? 286 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:46,000 Absolutely. Um, uh, the guilt and shame aspect of, of what I've done, uh, and what's been done to me 287 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:54,640 and what that means in my life are, are ever looming. Um, it's really interesting. Uh, I had one 288 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:59,520 pastorate, I had a couple of part times, but I had one full-time pastorate before Clinton frame. 289 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:05,520 And, uh, I won't dwell on that. Um, I'll just say it's, I'm glad it's in the past, 290 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:15,440 but the interview process here. So, uh, I had a pretty nasty season of depression last year and, um, 291 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:21,440 at the very bottom of it, just completely broken. I was able to cry out to God in 292 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:29,440 very few words. I didn't have words, just emotions. I couldn't understand what I was thinking, 293 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:39,520 but I just flung myself on him. And as I healed from that, um, I started to develop this idea 294 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:45,680 like, Hey, I think maybe you had given up on ministry. You know, it's been five years. Maybe, 295 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:51,200 maybe you shouldn't have done that. And the thought grew and grew. And finally it grew into 296 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:55,440 this confidence like, Yeah, absolutely. I need to be doing what God called me to do. Um, 297 00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:02,880 um, so long story short, I, I threw a resume on a website and within two days I had six churches 298 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:08,000 that were interested in hiring me. We were looking at moving to Louisiana. That was the number one 299 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:15,760 church. Um, Clinton frame was number six. Yeah. What is this? No, I don't like Indiana. I was 300 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:24,240 raised, I was raised to hate Notre Dame even by my dad. So, um, but I prayed, uh, you know, 301 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:30,720 you know, I think of a Jesus begging God to just take the cup from him, uh, when he was praying in 302 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:36,560 the garden. And I, I tried to have that mindset, not my will, but yours. So I prayed that God would 303 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:43,120 close doors and one by one, they all started closing, whether it was a solid no or just being 304 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:51,440 ghosted. Uh, that happened. Um, and finally I, I get a call from this Clinton frame place and 305 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:57,840 they're interested in me and it was not one interview, but two and then three and then four 306 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:03,200 and then five and six interviews. And then I had to preach and get voted on on top of that. 307 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:08,720 But, uh, at the time I thought, man, this is really rigorous. Why are they putting me through 308 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:16,240 this? But I feel like they really got a solid sense of who I am. Um, I felt confident God wanted 309 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:22,800 me to be honest about where I've come from, which I was from the beginning. Um, first there was an 310 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:28,720 informal meeting with a few students and maybe it was a search committee, I'm guessing. Um, but then 311 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:36,640 the board and then some of the pastors and then there was a dinner thing and, um, yeah, it was, 312 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:42,560 it was kind of a horse and pony show, but, um, I appreciate that because I feel like I was known 313 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:49,760 and wanted despite what was known about me. And, and that's how I knew for sure that this is where 314 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:58,560 God wanted my family and I to land. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. It seems, you know, you know, I'm kind of, 315 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:04,800 I'm, I'm kind of geared like you in a way of, you know, I'm, when I hear like certain ministry 316 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:10,640 professionals or anybody, well, they've got like a really squeaky clean story to share. 317 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:16,560 Uh, you know, in their interview process or, or, or whatever, like, you know, wherever their 318 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:22,000 testimony is, you know, where, you know, the, the worst part of their testimony is like there, 319 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,960 when they were farthest from God was when they, you know, watched an R rated film for the first 320 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:32,560 time. And, uh, you know, and I just have a hard time, I have a hard time with those folks, right? 321 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:41,760 Like, I'm like, because I wonder what you think about this. Like, you know, there is power in 322 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:50,320 knowing what you're saved from. There is something to be said about being aware. And I'm not saying 323 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:55,120 go and go and make in this, hopefully no one hears me say this, but like, you know, go and make all 324 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:59,440 kinds of really poor decisions and make a bunch of mistakes in life. And that's going to help give 325 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:05,440 you a better testimony and a better understanding. But at the same time, it's like a life, a life that 326 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:12,960 fully acknowledges, um, what living apart from God is like and understands that and knows that 327 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:20,880 to whatever extent, uh, can happen and really empower you, um, to live a life of purpose. 328 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:32,160 And I, I just, I do get concerned when people, people, uh, don't live vulnerable, 329 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:36,800 don't live in a vulnerable way. Like you, like you have, because I think what that, what that does is 330 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:44,640 it, well, number one, it doesn't help them help other people. Um, like, like right now, as you're, 331 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:48,720 as you're sharing, I'm thinking in my head, it's like, boy, I've got like two or three young people 332 00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:54,400 that I know could talk to you and that you would get them, right? Absolutely. 333 00:34:55,680 --> 00:35:01,120 Where, and this is true. This is true for any of us, right? Like when we live, when we live a story 334 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:07,600 that is honest and open and really, like doesn't, doesn't sensationalize the details, doesn't make 335 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:12,880 it like some, you know, like the cool story that it isn't because all the things that happen to you, 336 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:18,560 if you could choose again, you'd say, no, I'd prefer that not happen to me. You'd prefer that 337 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:23,200 not happen to your sisters. You prefer that not happen to, you know, whoever, any young person. 338 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:28,000 Right. Um, but it is part of your story. It's part of who, part of who you are. It's part of 339 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:32,800 what's, what has formed you into the person that you are anyway. Um, doesn't define you, but it is 340 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:39,920 part of the story. And when you can share that story with other people, and I'm sure you've 341 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:45,200 experienced this, like I really think it creates a gateway for connection that could, that maybe 342 00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:50,400 wouldn't otherwise be there for people. Um, so it's like whenever I'm sharing my story and 343 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:56,320 whenever Andy shares his story, we do so with the hope that someone goes, Oh, I know someone 344 00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:03,680 that could like really, really find help with these people, or they could really have a meaningful 345 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:10,320 communal connection with them. And, um, so that's why we want to encourage people. That's what we 346 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:14,560 talk about on the show. Like we want to form community around meaningful conversations, 347 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:19,760 storytelling, because first of all, guys are not always the greatest, great at that. Like that's 348 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:26,480 just a school that we're trying to develop number one. Um, but, uh, man, I want to, I just want 349 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:36,960 to cheer you on in this life that you're trying to live. Um, because you're, I'm sure it's happened 350 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:42,240 already, but I guarantee you it's going to happen more. There are a lot of, a lot of young people 351 00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:49,360 and others that will benefit. And so just thank you for stepping. And by the way, we're all, 352 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:54,160 because we're all under this kind of like conservative evangelical umbrella, uh, where a 353 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:59,920 lot of people, um, experience a lot of harm when they are honest about their life. Um, 354 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:09,440 and that is a shame and it needs to, it needs to change and it needs to improve. And I can all 355 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:17,280 be honest about that. Um, but, uh, thanks for, thank you for your willingness to, to step forward 356 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:26,400 and to be vulnerable in a place where sometimes vulnerability will catch up to you in a really 357 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:35,120 bad way. Yeah. No, it's been awesome. Yeah. Before we let you go though. Yes. Now it's time for the 358 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:40,240 dudes and dads pop quiz. All right guys, if you've never joined us for the pop quiz, this is going 359 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:48,640 to be fun. Uh, pop quiz is just, yeah, pop quiz is just a time that we are going to, uh, just 360 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:53,840 ask you lots of questions that don't have anything to do with your story. So awesome. It'll get good. 361 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,920 And I brought Eli in cause he's always good at asking these two. So Eli's in here with us tonight 362 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:02,640 and, uh, we'll ask you some questions also. So Joel, do you want to start? 363 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:12,000 Um, I'm looking, I'm pulling up my special pop quiz. I can do it. I can do it. You want to go, 364 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,680 you want to be first, you feel, feel free. I'm good. All right. All right. All right. So 365 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:23,440 Ian, if you could ask one person, one question, and they had to answer truthfully, who and what 366 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:34,000 would you ask? Hmm. And it can be serious. It can be funny. It can be whatever. 367 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:42,080 I would like to ask the first guy that ever had a mullet. What the heck he was thinking. 368 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:50,320 Yes. It's a bold, it's a bold choice. Bold choice. It is. It is. All right, Joel, you ready? 369 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:56,720 Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. Um, what is something that you are great at cooking? 370 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:04,480 Meat. Can you expound on that? Like any kind of meat? Like is it like spam or is it? 371 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:10,240 Okay. If we're talking greatness, I would have to say, uh, my, my pulled pork. I smoke it for 372 00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:18,480 about $14. Okay. That's good. All right. Eli, you can ask the next one. Give me a second. 373 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:22,080 I'm trying to find. All right. Well, uh, Joel, go ahead and ask another one. 374 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:27,440 You guys are not quite ready. Or do we lose Joel? We might have just lost Joel. 375 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:34,640 I blew him away with the meat. Yeah. All right. We'll, we'll, we'll continue. We'll continue 376 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:43,760 without Joel. Uh, let me, let me see the cards. All right. Um, what is your, no, I don't like that 377 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:48,640 card. There were some cards in here that you're just like, no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to 378 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:56,880 ask that. Uh, if you could be guaranteed, uh, one thing in life besides money, what would it be? 379 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:05,440 Contentedness. Oh. Contentedness. That's it. That's a good one. Why, why can you expound on that at 380 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,280 all? Uh, you're happy with where you're at. You don't want anymore. You don't need anymore. 381 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:13,040 Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Good, good thing. All right. Eli, you got one for him? 382 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:19,680 Hang on. Still, still though. I want to find a good one. All right. Well, I can, oh, this is a 383 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:28,560 good one. Uh, what was your first screen name? If it's, if you feel like sharing it. Uh, 384 00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:37,840 let's go with Mr. Sage. Okay. Oh yeah. Had a band when I was a kid and it was called Sage. 385 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:43,520 Awesome. All right. Are you ready, Eli? Sure. Who are your heroes in your life? 386 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:55,360 Uh, is it a cop out to say Jesus? Eli, you're asking the question. Do you, is it, is it? 387 00:40:55,360 --> 00:41:02,800 Nah. Uh, I would, I better give a shout out. Um, my wife, he deals with a lot of pain every day. 388 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,600 Wives are heroes there. She's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. 389 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:11,360 Um, all right. I got, uh, one more question and then you like can do one more question. 390 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,400 Uh, what would be your best day ever? 391 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:23,040 I would like to be at the beach and find pockets full of shark teeth, 392 00:41:24,240 --> 00:41:27,360 get just enough sunburn that it doesn't hurt for two weeks 393 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:34,560 and eat as much meat as possible. So it kind of, it kind of sounds like in Florida, 394 00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,160 when we were in Florida just a couple of months ago, uh, it was the spouses and 395 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:42,320 the pastors and spouses retreat and I know you were on the beach. You were looking for 396 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,840 shark teeth and I don't know if you didn't meet, got any meat or not. 397 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:47,760 We had some good food. Yeah. All right. All right. 398 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,320 Eli, why don't you go ahead and ask the very last question for the dudes and dads pop quiz 399 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:57,360 in this episode. What's your favorite thing you bought this year? Oh boy. 400 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:03,840 I haven't bought much this year. 401 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,800 Those shoes, those shoes that you bought in Florida were pretty cool. 402 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:11,120 You know what? I would have to say that is definitely my favorite. I bought a pair of 403 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,960 Puma's down in Florida and they are about 14 different colors. 404 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,520 They are. And they, I think they, did they officially glow in the dark? 405 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,440 They officially, I have pictures to prove it. 406 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,280 That's awesome. Yeah. Love it. I love it. 407 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:29,760 Um, so, um, someone's buzzing here. All right. Well, we want to thank you for being on the show 408 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:34,960 today. I know that if Joel was still here, he, you know, isn't it crappy hotel internet is just 409 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:40,000 not great, but so he wasn't able to join us, but thanks for, for telling us your story to us. 410 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:45,440 We really appreciated it and any final, final thoughts before, before we end this episode. 411 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:50,960 No, it's just been great to share and I'd love to come back sometime and I hope 412 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:55,840 if anyone has questions, uh, get them to me. Awesome. Well, we actually, Joel came back. Joel's 413 00:42:55,840 --> 00:43:02,960 here. Welcome back. Just in time. Maybe he's not actually there. Hold on. All right. All right. 414 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,760 Oh, I got to bring him in. Hold on. There you are. Can you hear me? 415 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,840 All right. Okay. Oh, we're back. He's back. 416 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:17,680 This is the part where I say, uh, you can always head over to dudesanddadspodcast.com 417 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:24,560 for all the show notes, all the good things and, uh, dudesanddadspodcast.com. Send us your 418 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:31,280 show ideas, your reviews, your thoughts, uh, even harsh criticisms. We'll take a few of those 419 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:49,760 if you want to see. Awesome. Well, thanks again, guys, and good night.