And I believe the majority of our suffering

doesn't come from the thing itself, but it comes from the

dramatization of the thing. It comes from the stories we tell

ourselves about the thing that happened. It comes from us

taking the story and then telling 10 of our friends and

then complaining about it and then and and then being arguing

with it and then believing that it should be different than it

is. This is the root of all suffering. Hello, my loves. Kate

Harlow, here, welcome back to season three of the new truth

podcast. If you are new here, there's hundreds of episodes for

you to catch up on and if you've been here a while, I'm so happy

you're here with me

on this now. Sunny Day started out rainy in Nairobi. I am Oh my

gosh. I just had the coolest experience I have to share. I

was just about to hit record about an hour ago, and then I

was like, I want to sing a song. So I sang a song, songbird by

Eva Cassidy, if you know, it so beautiful. It's it was in the

movie Love, actually. And I sang it and with my eyes closed in a

meditation, but like with the microphone, I was sitting in my

podcasting seat, and it was such a beautiful experience. And then

another good song came on, and then another good song came on.

So I ended up just singing for the last hour. My throats a bit

sore. Guess that was the only downside, but I sang for the

last hour, and with my eyes closed, with the microphone, it

was, I mean, it's not like I didn't have it live. So it's not

like the microphone amplified the sound, but just the feeling

of having the microphone and singing with my eyes closed was

really profound. I don't know, maybe I had my first like

Whitney Houston moment. Hey, Whitney Houston. I didn't sing

any Whitney Houston songs, but my favorite song of all time, I

have to share. You might not know it, especially if you are a

Gen Z or even a millennial, unless your parents listen to

70s music. It's a song from the 70s by John Denver. It's called

Annie's song, and it's, I'm I was singing it with my it came

on, and I get so excited when it comes on. There's something

about the it actually was in the soundtrack for the movie My Best

Friend's Wedding. And whenever I hear this song, I get so

excited. And it starts out saying, you, yeah, I'm not going

to sing, but it starts out saying, you fill up my senses

like a night in the forest, like the mountains in springtime,

like a walk in the rain. And of course, it's about love, like

every other song, but I often have the experience of this is

actually perfect for this episode. I have the experience

now when I hear love songs, I really hear them for myself. I

don't I no longer think of somebody else. It's like for me,

about me and I just I'm so connected to my senses. So I I

think that's why I've always loved that song, because I can

feel the frequency of it. Talks about nature and smelling and

and experiencing and feeling. And I'm such a sensory, sensual

person, so and I also have a lot of Taurus in my astrology. So

anyways, go listen to it if you don't know the song, Annie.

Annie's song, yeah, it just makes me so happy. So I'm still

in Nairobi, living my best life over here, I'm going to share

with you my initiations that have happened twice in the last

two weeks, because, of course, just so you have the contrasting

experience that it's not always roses and sunshine. When we

follow our hearts and follow our truths, we still have to

experience hard things. I had the stomach flu. It was a

bacterial infection twice in the last two weeks, like really bad,

which apparently is really a nature's way of initiating you

into a new place, your body's way of adjusting to new

bacterias to new environments. And so I'm not surprised. I

mean, I definitely was surprised. The second time it

happened, I was like, seriously, I just had this 10 days ago. So

it was this week, Monday and Tuesday, I was out for the

count, super sick. And you know, day one, I was in the just, oh

my god. Like, why is this happening? And like, I want to

die just, you know, moments of just letting myself really feel

how I was feeling and express that part, but also

simultaneously knowing, okay, everything I experience is

always for something, nothing that happens unexpectedly,

doesn't serve a purpose. It's all a part of something, right?

When you think of nature, it's like there's no creature,

there's no insect, there's nothing on planet earth that

isn't a part of this ecosystem. We might think like damn

mosquitoes kill them, or like bees are better, not. Bees, but

wasps are bad, or, you know, spiders are scary, but they all

serve a purpose in the ecosystem. Just like every organ

in the human body serves a purpose. Everything, it's a part

of a system. Everything serves a purpose. So when I got sick,

even though I had that, you know, few moments of just

feeling like, Oh, why is this happening again? And no, I don't

want it to happen and I want to die. I feel so bad. I also knew,

simultaneously, always holding the higher perspective of, okay,

this is for something. There's a reason I'm getting sick twice.

And it was really fascinating because day three and I did go

on antibiotics. I'm not a huge fan of antibiotics unless

they're really, really needed. But I just was like, Okay, I

just want to get this bacteria out of my body, and so I'm on

antibiotics and with my probiotics waiting in the wing

when I'm finished my antibiotics. But I I had such an

interesting experience the third day, when I was not I was still

a little bit sick, but not super sick. I was kind of groggy and

tired still, and still had, you know, some symptoms. I had so

much creativity come through like I had not experienced that

since I've been here, I've kind of just been settling in getting

things organized, and, you know, I haven't really felt creative.

I haven't really felt connected to any part of my work. And all

of a sudden, so much creativity came through, so much

inspiration came through, so much magic came through. I

started having ideas of new projects that are super

inspiring and exciting. One of them affects the podcast in a

good way. And I have, I mean, obviously everything in a good

way, but I just had all these amazing ideas come through, and

this new program come through that I'll tell you about at the

end of today, but it is, I'll just tell you right now. It's

called starting over, and it's a course that I've that I've

created, that I'm doing live with an intimate group of women,

or September, November. I don't know what. It's hard to know

what day it is, because time is going by so fast, November, 7 to

ninth. So it's a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and it's gonna

be two and a half hours each morning. And if you, if you sign

up for it now, it's called starting over. So it's for

anyone going through massive change, like heartbreak,

breakup, divorce, move to another country. Just move,

change jobs, whatever, start, quit your work and started a

business. Any, anyone going through massive change, it's

called starting over. So that program came through, and it's

$97 but you get to come for 50% off if you sign up before

November 5. So, and I'll just tell you right now the discount

code is expand, E, x, P, A, n, d, all capital letters, expand,

and I'll link it below the episode. So, but, and I'll

mention it more clearly at the end, but I'm just seeding it

now, because that was one of the things that came through. I had

decided in August I was doing a program called starting over in

the fall. I was really, really clear that it was coming, that I

was going to do it, but I hadn't had anything come through. And

then it all started coming through. And then I had just so

much inspiration. And then I was sitting in my bliss chair. I

have this new hanging chair that sits in my front yard, and it's

one of those egg chairs that hangs on a its own stand, Eve,

if you're listening, best thing ever. Eve's one of the heroin

sisters, and she starts. She got a couple hanging chairs, and it

changed her life. And when I was in at Ola pangi farm, I sat in

this one hanging chair and wrote like half of the book in it, and

I spent so much time in this hanging chair that hung from a

huge, beautiful fig tree. So there's something about hanging

chairs that just relaxes you so much. It's like being in the

womb. So anyways, I was sitting in my my hanging chair, but we

call it the bliss chair. My friend Amber has one too, the

bliss chair, and I just dawned on me, wait, all this creativity

is flowing through. I hadn't been feeling creative. I'd been

meditating. I've been singing and writing and dancing and

doing all my usual practices and connecting and meeting people

and just being in this beautiful energy being here. But hadn't

been feeling creative, and I was like, Oh, my body needed to

purge two times, you know, for two days at a time, and needed

to let go of energy and move old stagnant energy that was

blocking the energy flow so that this new creative flow could

come through. So just when you think whatever's happening in

your life right now, like it feeling like it's falling apart

just when you think it's not meant for you. It shouldn't be

this way that you should be still married. You should be

still in that job that you just lost. You should be your

whatever your circumstances are.

So you, if you believe it should be different, that is the root

of your suffering. For one, we'll, we'll dig into that. But

there is a reason for everything. Just like in the

ecosystem of nature, there is a reason for everything we

experience. There's no thing, no event, no person leaving, no

loss, no rupture, no tragedy, no trauma, no no experience that

you have in your life that isn't meant to happen because it

happened. That's how I know this is true because it happened.

There's a saying. You've probably heard me say it before.

It's not mine. I don't know who's saying it is, but when you

argue with reality, you lose 100% of the time. And I believe

the majority of our suffering doesn't come from the thing

itself, but it comes from the dramatization of the thing. It

comes from the stories we tell ourselves about the thing that

happened. It comes from us taking the story and then

telling 10 of our friends and then complaining about it and

then and then being arguing with it, and then believing that it

should be different than it is. This is the root of all

suffering, I had the stomach flu, I had diarrhea, and I was

vomiting over and over again, you know, twice in two weeks.

And I also happened to me early September. So clearly, there's

lots that needed to go, and I don't have parasites. I got

tested for everything, but like these things happened. Yes,

there was a physical component, but there's always a spiritual

component and an emotional component. And the both the

spiritual and the emotional component are shit needed to

clear out, literally and figuratively, for new

inspiration to come through, for me to land where I am, for me to

really fully experience this new place that I'm in, here in

Kenya. So the first thing that I want you to land and anchor into

When Everything Feels like it's falling apart is actually

falling together. It's not falling apart, it's falling

together. Yes, external circumstances are out of our

control. That is true. That will always be true only till the end

of time. Your external circumstances are not in your

control, although we've been sold a very different story.

Just get the husband, just get the job with the corner office,

just climb to the top of the ladder. Just get the house and

own it, and then nothing can take it away. Damn. La fires

come burn all those houses down, right? Just get, just get the

the job that's secure instead of starting your own business. Oh,

then covid happens. Everyone's jobs, like companies go to

business. Everyone loses their jobs. All it's it's a lie, or

just marry the love of life. How many people married the love of

their life and then they changed? Or, or she changed, he

changed, or she and she, he and he, whoever, whatever the deal

is, someone changed, or life changed you, or what you went

through changed you, or it just didn't work out as it did when

you were younger, like life is completely like. The only thing

I can guarantee you is knife is not going to go according to how

you think it should. It's not going to go according to plan

and how you think it should, and your plan isn't even your own.

That's a sad thing. All these women just longing to get

married, fighting to have find their husband, find that. Get

the, get the all these these things in the script, and

they're pining away and they're aching and they're beating

themselves up because they don't have it. That's not even your

desire. That is somebody else's story, a story that has been

sold to you from so many different places that your brain

has been programmed to believe is your story and your desire.

So here you are at this really potent time. And you know

everything I share on this episode is with such tenderness

and love because loss, change, big transitions, divorce,

breakup. I mean, these are can be really scary, really painful,

really heartbreaking times, and so nothing I say is to negate

your feelings. Everything is always an honor and reverence to

your feelings. But what I'm highlighting here is the part of

you that takes the story of what happened and and makes it this

dramatic event that is so much more painful than it would have

been before, because you think it should be different. So I

think that's such an important place to start. Is, what are you

believing about this situation? Yeah, and you might not be

believing it should be different. You might just be in

the pain, you know, I think about breakups that I've been

through, where I was so clear that it was not for me anymore,

but it didn't make it any easier. It was, like, still

really freaking hard to let go of a person you deeply care

about. So, you know, it doesn't mean you'll feel that way, but,

but, but check yourself right now. Am I arguing with reality?

Do I think should things should be different than they are?

Because if things have fallen apart, if you have lost your

job, if you have something has happened unexpectedly and side

swiped. You just know. And I want to say, there's these

sayings. So some people say, Oh, my God, these things are

happening to me and that, I mean, that's a story that's

going to keep you stuck in victim mentality, which means

the world is against you. Some bad things are happening to you.

My brother used to say this. He used to be like, I'm just

unlucky. Just an unlucky guy. And I'm like, That's a great

story. Like, how's that working for you? Because if you believe

it to be true, it's going to be true, your brain will look for

evidence it's going to be true. That's like, scientifically

proven. If you believe something to be true, it's going to be

true. So check yourself first. What am i Believing about this

situation. Am I believing that this situation is happening to

me? Like, oh my god, I can't believe this happened to me.

What the hell I watched one of my best friends, who I love so

dearly, lose her house in the LA fires. I'm gonna cry sharing

this story, but she blew my fucking mind, because I talked

to her a few days after it happened, and she was deeply

connected to her grief and her sadness of the loss and all all

the years she worked to make that happen as a single woman,

to to to build her or to they shouldn't build it, but buy a

new home, renovate a new home, create a beautiful space for her

and her dogs. And she did it on her own as an independent woman,

and she was so proud of it. She only had it for a couple of

years, and she loved this home so much. It was so beautiful.

And when the fires happened, she was one of the one of

the people who tragically lost their home. Now she wasn't not

feeling her grief. She was deeply feeling her grief, but

simultaneously she was holding the perspective of, Oh, I was

meant to go through this experience, and it will make so

much more sense later, not in arguing with reality at all. And

she was creating, like fundraisers. She was creating

clothing drives for people who'd lost their houses, gathering

clothes from people who didn't lose their houses. She was so

active was like getting a house where a bunch of them could live

like so beautiful to watch. I mean, a lot of people this

happens in tragedy, where it creates like community more

where people rise more people become more generous, more

loving, more supportive and bond over this experience. So there's

one of the gifts in it, right? Everything has tremendous gifts

in it that we did not choose our souls. Did not choose to come to

planet earth for an easeful ride like you would have chose. I

don't know Lumeria is that a planet like something nicer. I

don't know much about other planets, but you would have

chosen another place if you wanted an easy ride, like we

came to planet earth to evolve. We came to planet earth to

change how things are done. Here we came to planet earth to to

wake up and to experience like, life's full range, right?

Because if life was just like, remember that movie

Pleasantville, I was just like, pleasant all the time.

Everyone's pleasant, you would feel dead inside. Like, how

boring life has these crazy, catalytic moments, and everyone

goes through different versions. You know, there's so many. We

all experience tragedy in our life that's that's inevitable.

You can't not one day you will experience something drastic

that happens. That's just part of the human experience.

Obviously, nowadays we have access to the with access to the

world's news, we know of all the tragedies happening every day

everywhere. So it's kind of like hard to escape, but that's part

of the experience. So it was so beautiful to witness this friend

of mine in her in her sadness and grief, and be able to hold

her and love her through that, but also witness her in her

devotion to her spiritual beliefs, knowing nothing we

don't walk through any passageway without it being part

of an initiation of our lives, an initiation of who we're

becoming, an initiation of the next version of ourselves. So we

can become more expressed. So. So we can create more, so we can

make a bigger impact, so we can love more, so we can experience

more here on planet Earth. So I don't agree with this, saying it

happened for you, because that feels, you know, I worked, I've

worked, actually, with many widows over the years, and many

women who've lost their spouses. And, you know, saying to someone

who's lost a spouse or a child or a loved one that happened for

you seems kind of insensitive and also like that. That's what

made that term start to not make sense to me. So I used to

believe it, but what I actually believe is that thing happened,

period. It's neutral. It happened. Yes, it was supposed

to happen, because that soul would not have left Planet Earth

if it wasn't their time. I've watched a lot of near death

experiences to know that if people it's not their time,

they'll go the other side and come back like that soul, no

matter how old they were, no matter what the story is, was

meant to leave the planet. And yet every single person argues

with reality when people die partly, you know, I think in the

Western world, we're so desensitized from death, so

disconnected from death, and and we just avoid, avoid, avoid,

avoid, avoid, and then it side swipes us. And I think that's

part of why people have such denial around it. Because we've

been break, we've been, like, kind of delusioned about it, I

think of in Africa and in all these other countries in the

world, death is a sacred thing, and people are so aware of it

that it's a part of life. When I talk to my Kenyan friends, are

like, they're like, Yeah, death is just normal, like, and it's

such a sacred thing, and they have all their sacred rituals

around it. And it's, it's more, I don't know, like up, they're

more upfront about it. It's, it's part of life, whereas we're

in denial in the western world often. So that's one of the

things that absolutely feels like your life is falling apart.

And understandably, because grief is so insurmountable, so

overwhelming, and if you don't have a relationship to your

feelings, and you have never been modeled or taught how to

love yourself through hard times, how to fully get to the

bottom of your feelings like a three year old child, if you

don't know how to do that, and you've been compartmentalizing

and numbing and distracting and avoiding for a long time. Of

course, you're going to feel like it's a tsunami. I think

it's the first, you know, the beginning, it feels like a

tsunami either way. But it's that's a really big one. Loss is

a, I'd say the biggest of of the life feeling like it's falling

apart. And yet, even still, the thing happened, and there is an

opportunity, not necessarily, if you're in the first you know,

beginning phase of it, just let yourself hold yourself, take

time off work, get like rest, surround yourself with loved

ones, like be, let yourself be, and just care for yourself and

that there comes a time when you feel ready to let this thing

that happened in your life, that happened it did. You can't argue

with that. This rupture be the thing that cracks you open so

that you rebuild, reinvent, reawaken, unlock all of who you

are, or the next version of yourself. You create a life

that's more meaningful, right? What does death teach us or loss

teach us? It teaches us how much life fucking matters. It teaches

us how precious life is. It teaches us how deeply we love

and how much we care, and how often most people are completely

disconnected from the depth of love in their hearts. So let it,

let this thing that that this catalyst, let you love bigger in

your life, let you connect more, let you open your heart more and

live from a deeper, more present, more meaningful place

within yourself. That's the purpose of life falling apart is

these catalytic moments happen to create change, because

without them, if you are just in autopilot, if you are just doing

the same thing every day, and you have your routines, and you

have your places you go, and your people you see, and your

things you do, your soul will die. Your soul needs newness. In

order to in order to feel something, in order to feel

alive, you need to experience new things, new places, new

people. You need to go new you go on new adventures. You we do

not meet our fullest selves without having new experiences.

So sometimes life comes in not on purpose, not to punish us or

hurt us or or teach us something. And well, it's always

teaching us things, but it comes in with, sometimes with a. Four

by four, or, you know, a

train or whatever, and smashes us. And then we and it, we

awaken to a whole new level. So some people go through big life

changing events, like losing a job, and then they just, they

wallow, right? And they wallow in that dramatic story. They

believe the beliefs that aren't true. Oh, like, let's say, or

let's say, you know your husband cheated on you. It's like some

women will stay in that forever. They will be in agony. They will

tell the story that men can't be trusted. They'll beat the shit

out of themselves. They'll tell themselves that they they're not

worthy of love, or they don't trust men, so they never want to

be in a relationship again, and they'll let that thing stop them

from ever letting love in again. And the rest of their lives,

they'll hold it as ammunition against other people and against

relationships. But they're what they're actually doing is

closing their hearts out of protection, which is only

hurting themselves. So that's what we do, or a loss of a job,

and it rocks you. And then all of a sudden you feel really

insecure, and then all of a sudden you feel like you're not

good enough, and how are you going to get another job? And if

this, this company doesn't want you who will? And you know, we

use these things that happen, these catalytic change moments,

and we make them mean something about ourselves. And of course,

that's your saboteur making it mean something about you if you

haven't done the saboteur mini course, go do it, find out more

about your saboteur, but also enjoy join us in the starting

over the seventh to ninth of November. But like this is your

saboteur trying to take this experience and keep you small,

because your saboteur was hired a long time ago to keep you

small, right? You were too expressed, too big, too

emotional, too too free, too vulnerable, too real, too

playful, too imaginative, too creative, too wild, and so your

saboteur was hired by your parents and your teachers and

all the adults in your life to keep you small. So she thinks

that's still her job, and she's still trying to keep you small.

But just know all of those beliefs, all of those stories,

are not true, and as long as you're believing them to be

true, you're going to stay small when this is a time when

everything's falling apart, it's actually falling together. Life

brings these events, these circumstances, these situations,

to rock us and change things up, so that we can be reborn, so we

can awaken, so we can expand, so we can fuck the rules and make

our own so we can we can find new parts of ourselves. You

cannot do that if you were doing the same thing every day and

trying to stay safe, right? I can't believe how many people I

talked to that are like, Yeah, but I just want to do what's

comfortable and like, what comforts me in the comfort zone,

that word comfort, like that is actually the fucking torture

zone. The Comfort Zone isn't comfortable. Comfortable might

be cozy for, you know, a night when you're like, watching

movies in the rain under your blankie in your closet. Like it

might be comfortable for five minutes, but like if you're

staying small because it feels safe, that is not safety. That

is misery, that is prison, that is keeping yourself from being

who you are, keeping yourself from living the life that the

universe life has for you, right? Life has this beautiful

journey, adventure in store for you that's perfectly a match to

your soul. And yet, if you're hiding in your closet or hiding

in your comfort zone, you're going to miss this life that's

the perfect match to your soul, and I don't want that for you.

So check yourself, check your stories, check what you're

believing about what's happening right now. Let yourself feel

your grief. Let yourself feel your pain, your sadness, your

rage, your frustration. If you don't know how I talk about it

on so many episodes, but this is the work I do with women,

teaching them to how to be in deep relationship with

themselves, so that you can navigate whatever life brings.

Send me a DM, a PM, a GM, whatever, and we can explore

possibilities of going on a journey together, where you can

learn how to transform your relationship with yourself, but

learn to learn to be in relationship with your feelings,

without being in relationship with your saboteur, and all

those stories and the dramatization of your feelings.

So that's the first thing I have to say. It's like your

perspective matters so much. Everything's not falling apart,

it's actually coming together into the next level of your

life, the next level of this human experience and soul

experience that you're meant to experience, and often Big

changes are an awakening for people. Whether you've been

awake for a long time and you've been living your life freely

from your heart and soul, or you're brand new and you've

never done anything for yourself and you've been just following

the scripted path, anything in between is. Still an awakening.

It's like the next level awakening, or it's your first

awakening, but it's here to wake you up to so much more, because

we've been sold a whole bunch of lies that life is supposed to be

scary and hard and stressful and busy and and and then we and

then we die, like, what? What's the fucking point? Why are we

all here? If we're just going to be stressed out, busy, scared,

anxious, frustrated, overwhelmed, and then we die.

That is not the point of being here on planet Earth. I promise

you, your soul has a deeper purpose. By the way, later in

November, after the starting over weekend, there will be a

little purpose series. So I'm excited about that. Okay, so

number two, I guess that was number one, is check yourself

your beliefs in the stories that you're believing,

is build your community. Community is everything when you

feel alone, but don't surround yourself with those typical, you

know, saboteur besties that are reinforcing your stories. Like,

oh my god, I can't believe he cheated. Men are all assholes.

You're right. Never date again. Like, if you're surrounding

yourself with people like that, women like that, you are going

to stay stuck right, surround yourself with people who inspire

you and expand you. Look go spend time in places like yoga

studios, breath work, sambal healings, drum circles, I don't

know, like Tantra workshops, whatever. Go do things that

expand you, and you will meet other people who also want to be

expanded. You'll meet women at the weekend of starting over

too. So join me there and you'll you'll meet some amazing women

who take responsibility for their path, but you want to

surround yourself with people who take responsibility for

their feelings, who are not victims of their circumstance,

who have a relationship to all of their feelings and who also

live an expanded life, who inspire you, who can help you

feel like more is possible from this situation instead of less.

That's who you want to surround yourself with, not with people

who are wallowing and in victim mentality and in arguing with

reality and struggling on the struggle bus, and, you know,

stuck in a FOUP or who are reinforcing your stories and

your beliefs that you've been believing, that's only going to

keep you stuck. So, so, so important that you surround

yourself with the right community, with the right women,

and as women, we need community. It's essential. You know,

actually, this is a beautiful story. I one of my favorite

things about being here is, like, community is it's

everywhere, everywhere. But people are so open here. We have

made so many friends, mostly at dojo, the gym that I told you

about, that I'm obsessed with. We've made so many friends

there, and I've gone for coffees. And we, my friend

Amber, hosted a women's circle the other night. Unfortunately,

I was hugging the toilet so I couldn't attend. I was supposed

to go too. But we, we've made, like, 1520, from maybe not 20,

but like 15, no, maybe 20. And we made a lot of friends, like,

I make a new friend almost every day. Today. Okay? Couple days

ago, I was at a coffee shop, and actually, this is not the story

I was gonna tell, but this woman's so beautiful, like,

radiant, glowing, one of the most beautiful women I've ever

seen. And I was like, how she was a server at the coffee shop.

And I said, I have to tell you, you are so beautiful, like you

take my breath away. And she was like, what? Thank you. And then

she came back two minutes later and she said, I have to tell

you, Kate, actually, I don't think she knew my name at that

time. She said, I have been sent messages my whole life that

women with really, really dark skin, Kenyan women are not

beautiful, and the women the ugly, she said, and the Kenyan

women with brown skin, like more lighter skin, are the ones who

are beautiful. That was the message she got growing up. And

I was heartbroken hearing this. And I was like, Who the fuck

told you that? And and then we, we laughed, and she said, I, she

said, I have to tell you, one year ago, I went deep into

myself. And I'm paraphrasing here. I can't remember the exact

words, but it was like, so aligned. Like, so aligned with

everything she said. I went deep into myself, and I went inward,

and I learned how to love myself, and now I feel more

beautiful than ever, and now I look more beautiful than ever,

and I'm glowing. And now nobody, nothing, nobody could say, could

hurt me, because I actually love myself and see my own beauty,

and and I was like, Oh my God. I looked at her, and was like,

this is literally what I teach other women how to feel and how

to embody. And I said, Here's my podcast. And, and then I went in

again today, and she came up to me. I was in. I had a hat and

raincoat on so she didn't recognize me. And then she's

looking and looking, and she comes. Over, and she's like, it

is you. And I was like, Yes, me. She said, I've been listening to

the podcast. And she said, wow, everything you say is what I

believe. Like this is it I thank you so much. I'm so excited to

listen to more episodes. So it was so beautiful. Shout out to

you, Beatty, if you're listening. It was so beautiful,

such a beautiful exchange. But these are the kinds of women I'm

meeting because I am embodying the energy right of radical

ownership over my feelings, taking responsibility for

myself, loving myself, living for my truth, feeling my

feelings, all of those things. And then what happens? I attract

other women that are the same. I have made so many Canyon friends

who are empowered, unscripted, doing really cool things,

amazing, creatives, like it's mind blowing. So community is

everything. It's funny. That wasn't the story I was going to

share. The other story I was going to share of one of my new

Kenyan friends. She when I was sick, she came over the night of

the women's circle that I couldn't attend. She came over

to my place with a box of fruit, walks right into my cottage.

She'd never been here, walks right in, goes straight to the

sink, brings this, like fruit, cleaning stuff, cleans it, and

it's a giant box of fruit. She brought me a giant watermelon, a

giant papaya, you know, grapes, apples, you name it, like whole

thing. And she washed my fruit for 10 minutes and explained how

important is to wash the fruit here. And she's like, when

you're sick, you have to eat fruit. You need to replenish

with fruit. And I was like, Okay, thank you. I'm crying. I'm

like, my god, this is so generous. And she's looking down

at my at my recycling, and she's like, why do you why are you

eating boxed soup? It was like, miso soup in box, like it was a

powder, but it came in a box, and I was like, I don't know my

kitchen smell. And she's like, You got to cook from scratch.

You got to cook everything from scratch. You got to cook. And

then two days later, she had me and my friend over for lunch. It

was so sweet. So just community is everything, and the more you

walk through, I know in you know, if you're in the Western

world, people are busy, people are disconnected, so sometimes

it feels like they're not as as as engaging. Like, I've

definitely had a lot of conversations with heroines that

I'm working with, heroin sisters, clients that I'm

working with who are who are like, Oh, I wish I had a gym

like that where I could make friends and connect. Everyone in

my yoga studio doesn't even say hi. They don't even look at each

other. You see the same people, and they just kind of avoid each

other. And I said, Be the one who walks into the yoga studio

with her heart open, and connect yourself and see what happens.

It was like when I lived in Vancouver. I went to bar every

day, and I had so many friends in my bar class. I was friends

with all of the teachers. I was friends with all of the regulars

because I had my heart open and I was always connecting with

everyone. So be the change in the world you wish to see as

beautiful Gandhi said to us many moons ago, be the change in the

world you wish to see. But for women, especially when we're

going through hard times, being around other humans who've been

through what you've been through, or who know how to hold

space and how to just be with your feelings, who know how to

care and love you through it, who know how to come bring fruit

to your house without you asking like that is who you want to

surround yourself with. Let yourself be supported. Women are

so bad at receiving. I've worked with a lot of I've worked with

1000s of women. At this point, it's been almost 20 years, and

women are bad at receiving. So let yourself learn how to

receive, because that's an act of self love that you can give

to yourself, as if someone's offering to support you or you

need support. Reach out, Ask, and you can even instruct your

friends, hey, I need to share, but please don't give me advice.

Like, I just want to get this off my chest. I just need to

feel supported. But I really, really don't need advice,

because that way you don't get stuck in them telling you, like,

Oh, he's an asshole. You shouldn't whatever. The thing

is, the bad advice that you're getting, and it allows you to

really just feel because if people just listen to you vent,

and then they try and go into the story with you, it keeps you

stuck in the story. So sometimes we have to train the people in

our lives how to hold space, how to support us in the way we need

to be supported. But just know that you know when you feel like

things are falling apart. Part of the challenge is women feel

so alone. I mean, I don't feel alone here, but I know I did

when I was in Vancouver, like in the Western world, it's like,

we're all, like, isolated. You know, everyone's so individual.

Everyone's so separate there, and I look at Africans, I look

at Kenyans, and they're so connected to each other. They're

all helping each other out. Everyone's doing it together.

They're not separate. They're just it's like so different

here, and we're so individualistic, especially in

North America, but I think most of the western world so

individualistic, and it's so unnatural for us to be that way.

I. Our souls need love and support and community. So that's

such a big one. And then the third thing that I will say is

this is your reset. So let yourself be reborn. Let yourself

be reinvented. Let this time that you're going through this

rupture, crack you open so that you can meet a whole new version

of yourself, because that's what's available to you here,

you can either stay stuck in the story, stay stuck in the

identity of the thing that happened to you, or you can let

this rupture crack you open so you can meet new parts of

yourself you didn't even know were there. And there is so much

inside of you you couldn't see. I mean, I am absolutely effing

floored when I work with women. I've worked with, like I said,

1000s of women at this point over the last 20 years, and it

blows my mind how how much change is possible, like when I

work with women, and from the beginning to the end, how much

change is possible. And one of my beautiful, beautiful heroin

sisters, that's what I call my clients. I don't like the word

client. I had one of my beautiful heroin sisters, and I

did our final call recently, and she there was a moment where she

cried and just said, I actually love myself. I didn't know that

was possible. I actually love myself, and that like I was

actually crying at the same time. I don't know if I told her

that, but it was it like that? Is it that? Is it like we have

been taught to hate ourselves. Women have been literally

fucking trained to hate ourselves. So no wonder life is

so hard. So no wonder we get so hooked into the past and want to

hold on to everything that was, that job, that relationship,

that person who passed away, that that thing. We want to hold

on. We want things to go back to the way they were, because we've

been taught to hate ourselves, and men have been taught to love

themselves, so they just go through life like, okay, things

happen, they move through it, and they move on to the next

thing, because they've been taught to believe in themselves.

They've been taught to go for it. Women have been taught to be

small and selfless and and to fucking think that we're just

Barbies that aren't supposed to age, and we're supposed to stay

stuck and stay the same, and we're supposed to we're supposed

to be everything for everyone, and be selfless, less of a self

and not, not supposed to even exist in our own lives like it's

such a bullshit story that we were fed. This is your

reinvention, my love. This is your opportunity to rise up for

yourself, for that little girl inside of yourself who had to

change who she was to fit the world around her. This is your

opportunity to stand up for her and to create a new life and a

new world, and to stand up for yourself and to love yourself in

ways you never have before, to learn to love yourself, to learn

to step into all those parts of you you forgot about, your

sensuality, your power, your pleasure, your joy, your your

expression, your your truth, your your your ability to say

no, like whatever it is that you're growing into. Let this be

your time. This is a gateway. Every time we go through a

rupture, it's a portal. Every time we have a big contraction,

it's a portal. It's a portal to a new world, to a new you, and

let yourself be supported in it. So this is your invitation. This

is your initiation to step into something new. This is your

invitation from the universe, and this is your invitation from

Kate Harlow to join the starting over program. It's $47 that's

crazy. It's a $97 course for $47 this is it's going to be such a

beautiful weekend, three days, November, 7 to ninth, 8am

Pacific, till 1030 Pacific. Every morning, you'll be meeting

women from around the world, amazing women who are on a

similar path, who are devoted to themselves because they're

showing up, but also going through big rupture in their

lives. So you're going to have something in common. No matter

what it is, there's something in common. There you go. There's

the community. And it's going to be such a special weekend.

You'll be you will be connecting with other women, and I'll be

teaching, and there'll be practices, and it's going to be

such a beautiful opportunity for you to rewrite your grief story,

to rewrite your when things fall apart, story into things are

coming together exactly as they're supposed to be, and to

learn how to hold yourself through this time so you can

rise and become the woman you were born to be. It is time. In

astrology, there is so much change happening right now.

Like, that's why the world feels so crazy, because it is so

potent in astrology, like, no one's lives are going to look

the same unless you're trying to, like, hold. On, in which

case you're going to suffer a lot. It's like the person like

holding on, and the the currents like smashing them in the face,

and things are hitting them, branches and whatever, and

they're just holding on, trying to stay in one place, rather

than going with the flow of the stream, like it's time to let go

and to go with the flow of life. Life is leading you. There's a

higher intelligence on planet Earth, and there is a path that

is meant for you. Life is leading you. You have a

beautiful story that your soul is meant to experience this, not

the old, outdated. I'm going to get married and have kids and

and get a corner office and get a house and a picket fence and a

dog, and I'm going to live happily ever after. Not to say

there's anything wrong with any of those things inherently in

themselves. The problem is where women are choosing from. It's

not their soul. It's often their saboteur. We'll talk about that

in the weekend, but this is an opportunity for you to rise and

be supported and held and feel seen and and meet women

who can be your buddies, your soul sisters, on the journey. So

join me. November, 7 to ninth, 8am to 10:30am I almost said PM.

Pacific. It's just two and a half hours each day. So Easy

does it? Even if you have to miss a day, like, let's say you

work on Friday, you can't get out of it. If you can get out of

it, great. Pretend you're at a dentist appointment. If you

can't get out of it, you're at the soul dentist. If you can't

get out of it, and you have to miss one of the days there will,

there will be a recording we can send you so you don't have to

worry about missing it will be well worth your $47 to come no

matter what. I promise you will be so worth your time. It's

gonna be such a beautiful experience. And we get to hang

out intimately on Zoom together. Get see your face. You get to

see my face, and we get to hang out and and rise together. I,

I'm going through a transition right now. I i Three and a half,

four years ago, I left Vancouver, Canada, all the world

that I knew it. I left a seven year relationship, and I moved

to Greece, and I trusted my heart and i i Let everything go,

and that was the biggest, most transformational time of my

life. Oh, my God. Living in Greece changed me on every

level. I can't even tell you, leaving that seven year

relationship changed me on every level, and it took a long time

to let go. Took, like, three years because, you know, there

was a holding on that happened, but it changed me on every

level, and now I'm going through another one. Just left a three

year relationship, left my beloved Greece to move to

Nairobi, Kenya and and now going through another massive

transition again. So I'm on the path with you. You're not alone.

I've been going through massive change too, except the only

difference is I have all the tools, all the perspectives, all

the resources, all the practices to be able to love and hold

myself through it. So it's been easeful and graceful and

expansive and inspiring and creative, and, you know, so

magical. So one day, your transitions will be more

magical, too. Maybe not all of them, okay, not all transitions

can feel magical, but they all serve a purpose. So life is

leading you somewhere new, and I'm here for it. I love you. I

can't wait to see you at the starting over weekend. The link

will be below this episode. I'm also going to have it in my bio

on my Instagram. Kate Harlow, the unscripted woman, so

definitely check that out there. Get the link. Sign up. The

discount code is expand, E, x, P, A, N, D, capital letters. All

capital letters. That's how you get your 50% off. Tell all your

friends, if you know women going through big transition right

now, like pretty much everyone is, so tell them, get your send

them this episode and tell them you want to do this weekend with

them. It's so much fun to do it. And if you're a heroin sister

already in the community, join us. Love you. Love having you

there. It's always the best when you were there, so I would love

to see you there. I love you. Thank you so much for being a

part of the new truth and all that's to all it's been and I'm

really excited for what's coming, because that one of the

big creative downloads was about the podcast, and just like

feeling re inspired and reinvigorated. So yeah, that's

it. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Oh, also reviews. I

never talk about reviews, but apparently they're very helpful

to grow the podcast. If you love the new truth, give me a review.

Would be so nice to have a five star review and tell give us a

little blurb about what the experience has been like for you

wherever you listen to the podcast, Spotify iTunes, Apple,

one of the, I don't know, the Android ones, but it's

everywhere except YouTube, and it's gonna be on YouTube soon.

So might even be on YouTube with this video, I don't know, by the

time this comes out. So sending you so much love, and I'll see

you next week. You.