You're listening to the Driving Confidence podcast for drivers who want to be calm and confident on the road. We will be sharing tips, stories and advice to beat driving nerves and anxiety and build your driving confidence. Whether you are just starting out as a learner or have had your driving license for years, if you want to transform how you feel about driving, this podcast is for you. We've got some content here for you that's a little bit different. And the reason for that is because when we created it, we weren't thinking about the podcast. We were actually creating this as training materials for driving instructors. So yeah, so we want you to listen to this season from a different perspective. We want you to hear things Slightly differently, because we're talking to driving instructors, predominantly in this. you might hear the phrases slightly differently. So it will give you a different perspective of what we're trying to say as well. Now of course, because we were talking to driving instructors, we've used some of the lingo. So you might hear us say phrases like ADI or PDI, and that just means an approved driving instructor or a potential driving instructor. Yeah, other words that you will hear us say are part two, Part three and standards check. And here we're just talking about the tests or the assessments that people have to take to become a driving instructor or to stay a driving instructor. So really it's a bit like the equivalent of the driving test. We hope that you enjoy listening to things from a fresh perspective. And remember that while we are talking to driving instructors in these episodes, we are talking to them about how they could help you. We're going to talk about the impact that life stress can have on driving anxiety. So, is your student already stressed before they drive? Yeah, are they already stressed before they get into the car? Because Yeah. Yeah. The problem here is that the more stressed somebody is already, then obviously the easier it is for them to tip over into real anxiety and panic and feel, you know, being quite emotional in the car if something doesn't quite go the way that they want it to. The starting point is not where you want it to be, is it? Yeah, no. That's the, the key here. And there are, you know, lots of things to think about of how that could affect their driving. Yeah, definitely. It could be that if they're already very stressed, then the tiniest thing might be the straw that broke the camel's back. Now, what's interesting here is that then they will associate those feelings with driving, when in actual fact it was never the driving that made them feel stressed in the first place. It was the fact that they were already so stressed and overwhelmed. And this also goes, uh, for you as instructors as well. So think about before you actually start your lessons, are you in the right place to give lessons? Yeah, definitely. This isn't just about students, is it? This is, this is about you as well, because actually you share emotions in the car. So if you're stressed, then your student might pick up on that and they might begin to feel stressed as well. So it, you do share those feelings. In the car. Yeah, definitely. So what sorts of things cause life stress? We probably don't need to talk too much about this because probably everybody knows, but There are some things, especially, I'm going to say, um, the first one that crops to mind is exams. Yeah. Um, that could be mock exams. It could be the actual exams they have in May, June, July. Um, it really does have an effect on their emotions and the way that they drive, even though they will say, I'm okay. Yeah. And if, if you're working with students who are at college at Um, university at sixth form, then they are under immense pressure in their life to fit everything in. Yeah, well, they start getting revision on top of homework. On top of maybe trying to work, plus social pressures as well. Well, also mum and dad as well. Yeah. You need to do well in these exams and there's just so much going on. Yeah, definitely. So much going on and friends as well, you know, the pressure to beat the friends. with grades and and with driving and with driving as well and it's just something else that's in the mix in their brain you know it's going round in their brain isn't it and it's like so much going on yeah and then of course when you're working with people who aren't doing exams they're not in any type of education but they are working, they have families, then there is still lots of life stress. So Christmas in particular, any of the sort of like school holidays for parents, um, but Christmas in particular can be a real time of stress for lots of people because it's. busy. There's lots going on. You might have to see people that you don't really want to spend time with. It can be incredibly stressful. But there's all sorts of things. There's work stress. There's health stress. There's financial stress. Life can be stressful. Life is stressful. Life is stressful. And sometimes it might be that we just need to pause. Yeah. You know, before we start lessons. Just have a pause. Yeah, it's really important, I think, to have an awareness. You're not your student's counsellor, um, but it is important to have an awareness of what might be impacting their stress levels because that will impact They're driving. And as Kev said earlier, the same for you, it's important to acknowledge that running a business, life, family, all of those things is stressful. So how stressed are you as well? And just acknowledging that. Yeah. So one of the reasons why this is important to be aware of is because it means that people will be distracted. People will be caught up in a hamster wheel of thoughts in their head. And what this will look like is somebody who can't focus, who isn't paying attention. And this can be really frustrating and another cause of stress for you as an ADI, um, to have a student who is sat there with you, but clearly their mind is somewhere completely else. Yeah, and this could be for us as instructors, you know, we get distracted by thoughts. We start thinking of the next lesson. Right, I've got to get through this traffic. I've got to get here. I've only got 15 minutes, but it's going to take me potentially 20. Right, what do I need to do? And all of that time, we're not actually giving to the student we've got at the moment. You know, the different thoughts we have are, you know, endless. But you could be thinking, why is this student acting like this? What's going on? What's happening? Well, if there is too much going on, I'm going to repeat it. Pause. And it sounds so easy to do, but it is probably one of the hardest things that you will do as a driving instructor. It's just pause for a moment. Give yourself time, give your students time. They will appreciate it and you will appreciate it as well. And clearly what you want is both the learner driver and you as an ADI to both not be distracted by thoughts and to be having your attention on what is happening right now in the car and in the surroundings around you. Because we know that the more that's going on in the brain, the more thoughts we have on there. It's harder to concentrate on just one thing because the mind is going to wander, it's human nature, isn't it? Yeah, the brain would always go to the biggest problem or the most interesting thing and particularly negative things. The brain loves to go off to negative things. So, um, so yeah, it's just being aware of what might be distracting your student or what might be distracting you and then having some strategies. to help deal with that. But it's also some great conversations that you can have with your students. Think of other times post test that this might happen. Will they feel stressed? Will they drive? This is an ideal opportunity at this point to say, okay, let's just, let's have a conversation about that. Let's just see how this is going to affect us. Not now, or maybe now, but also in the future. Can you think of a time in the future where this is going to cause you a problem driving? Yeah, life stress isn't just for lessons. It's not just for Christmas. It's for other people. This will impact them in the future. And of course, having those conversations means that you're hitting those higher levels of the GDE matrix, aren't you? You're looking at how somebody's thoughts and feelings might change. impacts their driving behavior. So it's a great conversation to have. So some of this involves, obviously, you're not a mind reader. You don't know whether your student's stressed. But then do you? So this is our, again, this is a phrase that we say quite a lot. It's be a detective. So what are the clues that you're looking for, that your student might be suffering from life stress and that they might be distracted by thoughts in lessons? Yeah. And sometimes it's hard because we don't want to feel that we're encroaching on them or telling them something. So it can be really hard to deal with this at some points. Yeah. Um, and I think this is where we build that rapport early on. It makes it easier to say, you look busy today. Your mind looks busy. You don't look like you're with it like you normally are in lessons. What's happening? You know, it's a simple question like Another clue is that, you know, you're sitting there waiting for your student and they're walking towards the car, their heads down, you know, as they're trudging towards the car when they're normally quite upbeat. That could be quite an interesting one. Um, it could be that they're running. You know, so completely the opposite and they're running late, you know, their lessons at four and they're running to, you know, to the car and it's one minute past and they might be one of those people that hate being late, you know, so these are all little clues that you can look for. Um, and even when they're sitting in the car, look at their body language. Yeah. You know, what's their body language saying to you? How are they holding the steering wheel? How are they changing gear? Because sometimes that can have a, you know, they might be rushing changing the gear when there's normally quite smooth. So again, look for clues to help you with, um, distracted thoughts. Yeah. And sometimes it's just a feeling. Sometimes you might just get a feeling. Yeah. Your intuition. Intuition. Intuition. Intuition kicks in. So what we want you to do is to listen to their responses. And what I mean by that is, um, the question you might ask is, how are you feeling? And the response might be, I'm okay. But do they, you know, that intuition that we just mentioned kicks in again. What does okay mean? Okay, so how are you feeling? You say, okay, what's happened? So, you know, listen and repeat back the words that they're using just to clarify. How they're actually feeling, because people, the general go to is, Yep, fine, I'm okay. Yeah, and a question I use quite a lot, so in my line of work, I will often say to somebody, how does that feel, or how are you feeling, and they'll say, okay, or fine, and I'll say, can we make it a bit better than okay? What do we need to do to make it a bit better than fine? Because often those are sort of cover up words, okay, I'm fine. They're like, right, moving on. Yeah, I haven't got time for this. So, um, for some people that would work, not for everybody. One size doesn't fit all. But it gives you a starting point. You know, it gives you a real good starting point just to listen to that student that you've got and build, build that relationship. Yeah, and it's important information for you because this is going to affect how they drive throughout their lesson. It also shows that you care as well. Yeah, you know, that's again another important part of this. So if you get a sense that actually your student is distracted by whatever else is going on in their life and that maybe they're not really in the ideal place to be driving, then there is a little technique that you can use to help reset them, to help Get them away from out of their head, out of thoughts and back into the car and the present moment. Now the other thing about this technique is that it works really well for you as an ADI as well. So if you've just had a stressful lesson, if you've just had Something going on and you notice that you're distracted by source, then suggest to your student that you do the reset together. And in fact, I would recommend that whenever you do a reset, you do it together. So your student does it and you take the opportunity to do it as well. So that you're both in the best place to go forward with your lesson. And this doesn't actually take that long to do either. No, you can expand or contract this exercise to take as long as you need. So what we would suggest is that you just say, use the word reset. You don't have to use the word mindfulness if that doesn't work for everybody. So use the word reset and just say, shall we do a little reset together? And it's just a case of asking your student. What can you see? And asking them to have a little look around and see what they can see in the car, maybe outside of the car, to pick a couple of visual items that they can look at. And then ask them to move their attention to what can they hear. Also noticing sounds. Either within the car or outside of the car. Then asking them to notice what can they feel. And from that point of view it might be handy to get them to wiggle their fingers or wiggle their toes so that they can be aware of some physical sensations. Or they might like to grip the steering wheel, grip and release a few times so that they've got a firm physical sensation that they can pay attention to and notice. And then there's a couple of optional senses that you can use, which is what can you smell or what can you taste? And like I say, those are optional in the car. But if you're doing it yourself on your own, then I would definitely add these in. So noticing what can I smell? And what can I taste? And so you can add in numbers to this. So you can ask them to say three things that they can see, or five things that they could see. Or you could add in colours. So can you, you know, what things can you see that are a green or a particular colour? So for some people, they might need a little bit more direction. Just asking them that very open, what can you see? not be specific enough for some people. So sometimes it's helpful to add in numbers or add in colors or add in more specific instructions. What can you hear outside of the car? So yeah, and like I say, you can make this really short or you can make it longer if you need to. Yeah. The other thing about this exercise is you can't get it wrong. So it doesn't have to be in a set order. It doesn't have to be said in a particular way. So it's just a case of giving it a go, giving it a try. And the idea is, is. That you're moving your attention around your senses. And so that will bring you back into the present moment right now, wherever you are, instead of being lost in thought Thank you for listening. Find out about the different ways that you can work with us on our website www. confidentdrivers. co. uk and begin to transform the way you feel about driving.