[00:00:00] Ryan Kemp: your boss gives you a hard time, and you go away and think, "Oh, you know, they're just, you know, difficult. So we tell stories to make sense of our experience, and often when we have negative [00:00:10] experience, we tell stories about other, other people impinging upon us.

[00:00:14] Takes a little while for that sort of internal monologue thing to come round to, "Well, maybe, Ryan, you [00:00:20] didn't do that job well enough. You didn't actually deliver on that project, therefore, actually the responsibility is really with you, and your boss is actually just helping you out here." [00:00:30] takes a little while.

[00:00:33] Hi there, and welcome to People Soup Quick Spoon, real conversations about work, leadership, and being human. [00:00:40] I'm Ross McIntosh, and here's your Quick Spoon

[00:00:43] Ross: in this clip, Ryan talks about the stories we tell ourselves to make sense of difficult experiences

[00:00:48] And I think this is something [00:00:50] most of us will recognize

[00:00:51] Your boss says something you don't like. Someone challenges you in a meeting

[00:00:56] A colleague doesn't do what you expected

[00:00:59] And almost [00:01:00] immediately we have a story. They're being difficult. They don't appreciate me. they've got it in for me Now sometimes that story might be absolutely [00:01:10] right

[00:01:10] but Ryan makes an interesting point about what happens when we use that story to move away from an uncomfortable feeling

[00:01:17] Because it can take us a little longer to get [00:01:20] to, Is there anything here that I really need to look at and reflect on? That's not about blaming ourselves. That's about being curious. So here's something to [00:01:30] try

[00:01:30] The next time you find yourself telling a very convincing story about someone else, pause and ask yourself What else might be true [00:01:40] here? That's your Quick Spoon. Until next time, take care