There's going to be some jingle bells in the background here. I'll edit them post. Oh, big editor man guy. Oh, I work in TV.
Welcome in everybody. It's the Craft Beer Republic. I'm Greg. I'm currently being berated by my co-host Flex. Santa Flex. Santa Flex. Merry Christmas.
It's quite the big beard you have. It's not. He's lying. I don't have a big beard. It's not really. Well, way to ruin the illusion. Big muscles. No beard. Yeah, big other things too. But not shorts.
Little shorts. Little shorts always. Big muscle, little short. Now that we've really creeped everybody out, also joining us is Coley. Santa's favorite hoe.
Whoa. You said it, not me. Okay. That's what my ugly sweater said this year. It's my new one. Santa's favorite hoe. That's a good one. I couldn't pass it up. Amazon just caught my eye.
You need to design a line of Hanukkah ugly sweaters. There's one with an African gray parrot on it holding a menorah in its claw. If that doesn't scream me, I don't know what does. It's like all your things.
Yeah, everything I've been posting lately is bird spam. Okay, so are you Jewish? Is Nick Jewish? I'm Jewish. Collectively Jewish? No. I thought he was when I first met him. I'm like, how does this guy spell his last name?
I was like, oh my God, he's hot and he's Jewish. This is amazing. Is that a Jewish name, his last name? Well, like Wyman, I thought maybe it was like W-E-I or something or whatever, like Wyman. But it's actually German.
Turns out he spells it phonetically. It turns out. But yeah, and my mom's Jewish. So in the Jewish religion, if you're only half, your mom's side is what determines it. And I'm Jewish.
Ish. Yeah, there's a long bloodline. Yeah, I love that for you. People, I've said it. This is so not related to the show. I'm Jew nun. Jew nun, yeah. Jew nun.
I was on a plane once leaving Spain and Orthodox Jew, like sat right, you know, guy with the curly everything and had the yarmulke on it. Yeah. And he goes, looks at me all funny. Are you Jewish?
I was like, no. He's like, well, you really look it. I was like, thanks. I don't know how to take that. And then you did your DNA and you're like, holy shit, I am Jewish. Holy damn. Yeah. So anyways. Oh, where were we?
Hey, follow us on the social media. Follow us on socials. Crappy Republic. Flex me, bear underscores in between. Of course. Ice, coal, C-O-L-E, beer underscores after each one. All right.
This is our holiday episode. It's time to get all Christmassy and Hanukki and Festivacy. Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa. Yeah. What else do people celebrate? Oh, Krampus. Krampus.
Boxing day. Boxing day. I'm an honorary Canadian because I've worked with a Canadian law firm for like 11 years. That's about something to bring. That's what I'm talking about. Come on. They take it off. They don't work. Why would I go into work? I take the day off. Oh, they get boxing day off? Yeah.
It's a national holiday in Canada. I didn't know that. I mean, you know, it's similar to like Christmas, but it was when like the wealthier folks would
box up items and give them to the less fortunate. They'd re-gift the shit they didn't want. Yeah. So it's not like boxing, like fighting day. No, I'm fully aware of that. Yeah.
It's like gifting day. Yeah. It's like gifting day. I realized it was like a full-on day off holiday kind of thing. Yeah. Canada, parts of Europe, and Australia. If I'm not mistaken. They just wanted to add a holiday.
I take it off every year. Like my boss knows. You do, and it's great. You take it off or your office closes? No, I take it off because our office- Take it off. We're US. Woo! Santa's favorite hoe taking it off.
Our office is, I mean, I'm the only segment that deals with our international portfolios, which is Canada. Yeah. Everyone else is US-based, so they don't take it off. Isn't that so weird, too, that Canada's international? Yeah.
I mean, I call them our North American cousin right there, but they're US number two. I'm sure they love that. I'm sure, yeah. They must really appreciate that. But, you know, it's- Hey, Canadians.
I take, I mean, and the law firm that I work with, they're also, they're Orthodox Jews as well. So they take off. There were holidays I had to come home. I'm like, Mom, what is Sukkot? And she's like, oh, it's blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, I don't, yeah. Yeah. Dude, you guys have the best holidays. Well, I'm off of work. Like, one every, like, September through November, you get like one a week or something, it seems like. You've got the New Year, you've got the holiest day of the year, you've got, yeah, Purim is one of them, too.
I don't even know. Yeah. Smart. Very smart. You're like, oh, we gotta go to work? Yeah, by the way, got a lot of holidays coming up. Yeah, they really do. So on days like that, you know, if I can get a day in here and there and make my holiday
season a little bit more joyous with the day off, I definitely do that. I know I had one, like, Jewish friend when I was real small growing up. Mm-hmm. And then, like, from start of school through, like, you know, this time of year, like, man, he misses a lot of school.
Yeah. Like I said, the more orthodox ones really follow that. My mom sent me to school for all the holidays. Yeah, his parents were pretty strict about all that. So he got a lot of days off. That's crazy. I was jealous.
When you say you're being little, I imagine you're like three feet with still like a 16 size shoe. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Like, full on Weevil wobble. It's like an egg with feet. He didn't fall down, though. No, never. No one could push him.
So much stability. Yeah. No one's more stable than this guy. Mentally. It's all about the base. Definitely not mentally, yeah. No treble.
Shout out to Austin, Texas, for being our top listening studio last week. Hey, I know people in Austin. Do you? I don't think they've charted before. So what up, Austin? Austin's cool. I might have just lied. I don't know. Maybe I know one person in Austin.
You fucking liar. I don't know anybody in Austin. I've never been, but we had a work conference there, and I was trying to go. Mm-hmm. I always try to weasel my way in on those. Yeah. And I didn't get to go, but I heard it was awesome, and I got cool shot glass from everyone.
All right. Yeah. I feel like it's the one place in Texas. Great music city, I hear. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I feel like it's the one place in Texas I might actually want to go to. Yeah. Yeah. Like, the rest of it can, you know. We want to do the Riverwalk in San Antonio.
So I actually went to San Antonio for a work conference, and the Riverwalk was, it was fine. It was, you know what's underwhelming? The Alamo. It's like this big. Oh, yeah. It's tiny, right? Like, I think Nick's pee-pee. But that pee-pee do is bigger than the Alamo.
Well, you don't get the name Big Dick Nick for nothing. Yeah. Well, he makes the Alamo look very, very small. Little Dick Alamo. Little Dick Alamo. It was just really underwhelming.
I'm assuming you guys took a bunch of pictures now with his D out in front of the Alamo. You know, he wasn't there. He wasn't. I went with work. I really wish I could have, but I was. It's been so great. I was just like, that's the Alamo.
Just for scale, here's my dick. And. Here's the Alamo. It should be in Deb's calendar. What was it? Like, dicks across the world or dicks on vacation or something?
Something like, it's just like dick-shaped monuments and stuff. Oh, it should just be like Nick's dick comparing size to, like, buildings in the background. You know, like when they have people, like, holding up the Leaning Tower of Penis. Do the Leaning Tower of Penis. Yes.
Leaning Tower of Penis. It's like. Nick's like, I'll stabilize this. Let me get my third leg on it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Nick's dick out from, like, just phallic-shaped monuments. Oh, God. That would be great. Like, Washington Monument. Maybe. The Eiffel Tower. You gotta do the Leaning Tower.
Oh, that would be brilliant. Yeah. Let's talk to him about this. We should. Yeah. Let's get him real drunk one night. Guarantee he would be into it. You think? I mean, I don't know. Nick's not a big attention whore. I mean, in some ways he is. He's just. But, like, he's not.
He projects loudly and stuff. Yeah. But he's. When Nick comes down. When Nick comes down to, like, I don't know, like, even, like, recording and stuff, he gets, like, a little anxiety, I think. He gets a little bashful. He just starts rubbing microphones on his face. On his beard. Yeah.
Or his scruff, I mean. Sorry. Yeah. So, anyways. Hi, Austin. I forgot about that. Keeping it weird, I think, is their slogan. Yeah. Keeping it weird. I forgot we were talking about Austin. Yeah. Well, you get distracted by Nick's dick. It's easy.
And the river walking. Let me tell you. The Alamo. Remember the Alamo. They got Jester King and Pine House Pizza, so good for Austin. That's why they need you to remember it so hard, because it wasn't much to remember. Fair. Yeah. All right.
Before we get into anything, let's get into some beverages over here. Ooh.
We are over here drinking the Polar Espresso. Ooh. Whoa. Coffee Stout from Brewery X down in Anaheim, California. Six and a half percent.
They say Coffee Stout with Alverick's Coffee and Ghana Cacao Nibs. Cacao. Cacao. Cacao. I always think of Lightning McQueen with Cacao. Cacao. I don't remember that.
Oh, he's Cachow. Oh, Cachow. Yeah. Sorry. Never seen it. You never seen Cars? Never. And you have kids. Oh, come on. So good. Anyways, 3.6 on Untapped.
Coffee Schnauz. Coffee Schnauz. Light, but there. Okay. So it has warmed up a bit from when I first tried it. Yeah. We poured this like 15 minutes ago. I do get more like Cacao. I do get more like Cacao. I do get more like Cacao. I do get more like Cacao. I do get more like Cacao.
Like I get more dark chocolate on the initial sip. It's just like roasty and bitter on the back end though. It finishes a little too bitter. You don't get really a coffee flavor. Yeah. Instead of like, oh, this is coffee flavor.
You kind of get the bitterness of the coffee. I was, because it's called the Polar Espresso. I was thinking it was going to be more coffee forward. Absolutely. And I just get more chocolate now.
Like it just tastes like a very bitter, dark chocolate. You know, like the dark chocolate that you guys had that time that had like no sweetener in it. Right. You're like 95% dark. Yeah. Yeah. And it just like makes the skin on the roof of your mouth like turn into a dust ball. Yeah. Yeah.
It's kind of like that. It's a little bit like that. Yeah. I will say I like it better as it warmed up. Me too. Before I just, all I got was the bitterness. Yeah. Now, like I said, I actually get notes of chocolate. Yeah. So I'm, I am appreciative. So definitely don't drink this beer cold. Yeah.
Let it sit out for a minute. Yeah. It's been out for about 20 minutes for us. So. Much better now. Yeah. Much better. Not bad. But yeah. A little more. A little more coffee flavor would have, would have been right up my alley. Yeah.
I find Brewery X has put out some really good beers lately. They've really improved, but sometimes they still have a little work to do. Yeah. To put in nicely. So. Or at least to match the name or what you think they're going for.
Like if you're calling this a coffee stout, it's just like you said, it's like bittering units and a little bit of roast. Right. It's very. Does it have IBUs on here? No, it does not. That's too bad. Of course not. That'd be fun to know. And I wonder if you can measure IBUs from coffee as opposed to from hops.
I don't know. Yeah. That would be. Interesting. Science. Science. But that turtle beer from Brewery X was good. The one. Ninja Turtle one. I got it at. You got it in your fridge. We had it on here a couple months ago. Steph was at Trader Joe's. She's like, look what I found.
I was like, please pick me up a four pack because I couldn't remember. And then I did go on to Instagram and I saw that you had the same one. I'm like, well, I'll at least have it in case he needs another one. Very nice of you. Thank you. Yeah. It was a good one. All right. Lots to get to.
This is sort of our holiday Christmasy whatever episode. It's definitely. It's not kind of. It definitely is. Yeah. This release is like a few days before Christmas. Here's the deal. We've been doing this every year. What are we going to say?
It's kind of. No. No. It's definitely. All right. Redo. This is something that I do every year ever since I've started any sort of podcast. Oh, we're not going to save this for the end? Want me to save it for the show? Or for the end of the show?
I can save it for the end. I feel like you usually do it at the end. Okay. Either way. I just figured. It's too good. I feel like it's too good. All right. Man, that's a tease right there. We'll give a little tease here. All right. All right. I'll save it for the end. I'm going to drag it down my list here.
Play with it a little bit. Oh. Tease us. I mean, we do have our holiday shirts on. Yeah. I have my Sirius Clark shirt with my tough skin. Flex has got his gingerbread Marvel. Yeah. It's all Marvel.
I got my new sweater. Ask your mom if I'm real. Hell yeah. Santa winking. Love it. All right. We'll move that down. It's like my favorite thing of the year to do. All right. Christmas stuff, though.
I can't believe you were going to do that mid-episode. You know why? It's crazy. Because we're going to talk about Christmassy things. Okay. So I figure it brought in to the Christmas mode. But I like your style.
No. It's an end saver. Okay. It's the main event. It's great. It's Stone Cold Steve Austin versus Shawn Michaels with Mike Tyson as special guest referee.
Or enforcer. One of the worst Shawn Michaels matches of all time. No. He was in so much pain. Anyways. And a lot of fun. I didn't think this was a wrestling show. I'm just kidding.
It's a borderline wrestling show, not a sports podcast. Right. Exactly. Fair. We should start our own, like, 90s wrestling show. I'm fine with that. Let's do it. All right. You last weekend. Me.
You and the Big Dickton one hosted Friendsmas. We did. It was a good turnout this year. A couple of our besties were sick. Wiley and Sarah. Must have been making out or something. Maybe. You never know.
Sick of the same. Sick at the same time. Sick at the same time. That would be pretty cool. Only the non-cool part was I had to make the ham because Sarah always brings the ham. And we didn't get her Guinness bread. Oh.
She makes like a Guinness bread or like an 805. Yeah. It's the only acceptable use for Guinness. Yeah. I was going to say. Seriously. It's so good. And she does the honey whipped cinnamon butter. Oh, my God. It's so healthy. Like Texas Roadhouse? I've never eaten there.
We don't have those out here. Come on. Come on. We don't have those out here. Cut that out of the show. I'm going to highlight it. I'm going to turn it up louder. Like fucking Saint Nick. It is. Do you have them in Wisconsin?
It's the Texas Roadhouse, not the Wisconsin Roadhouse. Yeah. It's like a fucking chain restaurant. Texas Roadhouse. They got the cinnamon butter for the bread? They're not out here. Yeah. It gets fucking out here. We don't like those types. We don't like your kind.
People will know. I'm sure everyone but us will know. Sorry. Anyways. Oh, I. No Sarah. No Sarah. No Sarah. So Nick and I made the ham. And. And the grocery store didn't have the usual kind that I get.
Like this one was already like half cut. I don't even. I don't know what was happening. Spiralized or whatever. Yeah. And that's all they had. Spiralized. We always do bone in. And we do the butt cut. Oh yeah. Butt cut. And. Like a good butt cut. Yeah. Still loving it.
Spiralized. It was. Like it was like a spiralized ham. What's wrong with that? Half of it was cut. And I was like trying to put the cloves in. Just a spiral ham. Spiralized. I thought it was spiralized too. Greg. Look. I'm the one that bought it. California thing.
And I still thought it was that. Yeah. It's a thing. It's totally a thing. And then we did the 805 beer mac. That Wiley usually brings. And Nick was joking. He's like. Babe. This is one of the best batches I think we've ever had. He's like. We don't even need Wiley anymore.
And I was like. Oh. That's mean. Poor guy's like coughing up a lung. Kick him to the curb. Kick him to the curb. Well. I was glad you guys like triple batched it too. Yeah. Finally there was enough. There was plenty. Yeah. We did two boxes of pasta. That's what the recipe calls for. Oddly enough. I don't even know.
No. Chris and Tabby brought a 25 year old bottle of wine. Oh yeah. It was a Zin. It was a Zin. Is that what it was? Yeah. I couldn't remember. It was a 1998 something something Zin Vendel. I was like 13 years old with this.
Yeah. Apparently. It was. He's been talking about it for a while. Like he's promised Shannon the last couple of times we've seen him that he's going to bring it. So we decanted it. We aerated it. Yeah. Had the little filter to catch any sediment.
And then we decanted it for about an hour. Yeah. At least. And it was still a little. Is that normal? I mean it's a 25 year old bottle of wine. Yeah you should decant an old wine. The nicer the wine the more you should decant it. Ah.
It was a little musky. And real tanniny. Really got that dirt coat when you sipped on it. Yeah. I mean it wasn't bad. Wasn't bad. Um. But.
I just feel like. Was it at least fun to drink? Was it fun? Can you. It was fun in the sense that it was 25 years old and it had been saved. Well that's what I mean. Like it's. Yeah. I felt like a fancy bitch. Fucking old. Classy as fuck. Yeah. It's fun. When have you ever drank something that old?
I haven't. Right. Exactly. So. No it was cool. It was very like novel. Like a very novel cool thing. Um. Like I said though it was just. Little musky. It just had like a stink. Yeah. To it. It had like an oldness to it.
Yeah like a stinky musky kind of like. Aftertaste. I don't know. But. Uh. Still very cool. Very cool. Very appreciative of. My bestie and her husband bringing that. And. We had like appetizers.
Stephanie made this great cranberry and jalapeno salsa to put over like um cream cheese. Holy crap. That was good. Deb brought. From Trader Joe's. Oh. The Danish Kringle. Oh.
Which I said sounds absolutely like a sex maneuver. Like. Hey babe. I'm gonna give you the Danish Kringle tonight. Mm hmm. Um. Never had that before. It was good. She goes. Oh it's from Wisconsin. Yeah. Apparently it's very popular. I was gonna say.
I was gonna ask if you even knew what a Kringle was. Cause. I mean not before last night. But the bakery that Trader Joe's gets it from. Is in Wisconsin. And it's so good with the marzipan. Yeah. There's like. Ugh. Two or three.
Two. I. I know for sure. Just huge companies that do Kringles out here. Yeah. I don't remember. I think she texted me which one it was. But um. And then Shannon and Greg bought a great green bean casserole with some like sliced almonds.
They put some pomegranate seeds on top. Like reusing from you know the birthday. Great. Great. I love how economical you guys are. Right. And it. It went perfectly. I actually. Took some green beans. And some. Mashed potatoes.
Or cauliflower mash from my mom. That they made. And then I was like. The cauliflower mash is a little spicy for my mom. So I just ate her portion with the green beans. And some ham tonight. Some leftover ham. It was so good. O. Danish bakery. O. H.
O. Danish bakery. I don't know. Yeah. Okay. I think. Yeah. I know that one. That Kringle was great. It was good. The other one is. It's just called Racine Kringle. Probably the biggest Kringle company in the state. Like I'm probably going to go home and have a piece of Kringle.
Oh you still have some? I do. I should have brought some. I have like four pieces in a Ziploc bag in the fridge. Thank God I didn't leave it out. The cat got to the crackers last night. That fucker's an asshole. He's trying to get boobies again. But he got crackers instead. Boobies. Boobies.
You better watch out. He might get a size 16 to the ass. Oof. That fucking cat man. He's. I'm surprised Nick hasn't kicked him out yet. About to be a homeless cat. I know. I asked if I could trade him for the bird. Aren't all cats homeless cats?
They're about to be. Yeah. They're about to be. Like I said. I would have kissed him goodbye. And said he had a good run my friend. You're nine and a half. Cause of death. Boobies. Boobies. Oh. Stop.
If one could be so lucky. So I told my wife. My wife is very. Well endowed. Well boobied. And I told her. We call that busty. She's a busty woman.
Well boobied. I was like. If I'm going to go. I'd like to suffocate on boobs. That'd be the way out. She's got a great bust. A great bust. Oh my God. You guys are hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you say. Yeah. You're not wrong. It's the bust.
She's got a region. Bosoms aplenty. What would you. What do you say pal? Quite the bosoms you got over there. Bosoms aplenty. That's the name of this episode. It should be. Yeah.
But yeah. A lot of good wine. A lot of good booze. Yeah. We picked up some great. Like I said. Some great stuff at Total Wine. I told you. Dick had asked if it fit the flex algorithm. I did get a tripping animals four pack.
It was a little bit more expensive. I think it was $19.99. It was a hell of a price. It was a hell of a price for Hellas. Gross. But it had a German Shepherd on the can. A hell of a price for Hellas. $19.99. But it had a German Shepherd on the can. You're killing me. It did look like her dog.
It did look like Rookie Tookie. Yeah. And I had to get it. I'm like, Nick, it looks like Rooka. It's probably like 4% flat. I think it was close to that. It's like. Oh, California.
Well, they had to walk it. Hand deliver it all the way from Florida. Yeah. And Nick said that. He's like, even the brewery name is perfect because our dogs that day. Yeah. Yeah.
Like we literally had to like speed decorate the house because Nick works night. So he's never fucking home. So Saturday he's like, all right, I'm going to get through. He does. He's he's high price. Yeah. He's like, I'm going to get the bins down. We're going to do this. I'm like running around the house.
The dogs just stand there and they don't fucking move. And you like trip over him. And Nick's like, you know what, Nicole? Not only is the can perfect because it's a German Shepherd. It's called tripping animals. And that's all they do is try to trip us. They don't move.
He was he was feeling it. He was very angry. Yeah. Sounds about right. Big Mad Nick. Big Mad Nick. I can respect the hell out of that. Yeah. Big Temper Nick. Big Temper Nick. But that was that was a good time. It was a great time.
I look forward to it every year. So thank you guys. Do you guys do a gift exchange or is it just like a hangout? We kind of started doing this like in lieu of gift exchange. I'm all for the in lieu of gift. Yeah.
And what I used to just do is be like, hey, donate to your favorite charity in my honor for Christmas. And like, don't you know what I mean? Like, don't let's not do gifts. But let's not make it about me. But don't.
Don't like if you need to do something like, you know, donate like in my name or something, but don't get me a gift or just like make a donation. Oh, OK. Got it. Got it. Instead of buying the gift. I don't know. Yeah. It's like I got a main society.
OK. Hey, did you get it? Jesus. I'm going to slap. Have you ever been slapped in the face with a Kringle? You about to be. Can I give you my Danish Kringle? Pretty normal Wisconsin thing to get slapped in the Kringle. Slap in a tickle?
Slap with a Kringle? Slap in a tickle. Oh. Yeah. And then Flex. I texted Flex before we did the show. We're going back and forth. I was like, by the way, Coley's hanging out with us tonight.
He goes, oh, I knew she was. I was like, what do you mean you knew she was? Like, oh, she always hangs out with us on the Christmas episode. Every time. No. I did not realize that. Is this true? Like, are you always here for Christmas? I could have researched it and I didn't. I feel like I was last year for sure.
OK. Possibly the year before. Yeah. I feel like I was last year. All right. Well, definitely. Now it's a tradition. I appreciate it. I really love being here for the Christmas episode. I didn't even know it was a thing until he brought it to my attention.
I was like, I guess you're probably right. It's festive. It's great. It's two of my favorite people. I mean, come on. Oh, my gosh. The warm and fuzzy holiday season. You serious, Clark? Come on. Exactly. Stop. Stop it.
Stop it. So kind. Stop. Flex, you get all your Christmas shopping done? Yeah. So it's been done for like ever? A month and a half. Oh, good. I know you got kids.
So like, when you got kids, it's a bigger deal. You gotta. So like my wife, my wife's great. I joke around about, you know, how she gets on, you know, all my, my habits, we'll say.
But she's the best, man. She takes care of all that stuff. And I don't have to. Oh, that's nice. She even buys for like my family. And it's, she's a wonderful woman.
And I'm thankful for everything she does. It's great. So all the shopping's been done. I didn't have to do any of it. That's nice. Wow. Just. Jealous. Outstanding. That's love. That's really love.
I'm like, Nick, they're your parents. You do that. That's all you. You're a crazy ass mom. It's all you. Here's the only thing that, that gets me though, right? Really grind your gears? Yeah. You know, I don't want to like.
Get stuck in your craw? I just don't want to like, you know, get sued for like copyright or trademark. Oh, sure, sure. You know what I'm saying? It'd be a hard one to copyright, but yeah. So, you know, maybe it gears my grinds. I don't know. Got it. So anyway.
Anyway, Greg, you're married. Nicole. Last I checked. You're married. Mm-hmm. I will never understand why women will ask your opinion on something with already having a predetermined answer in their head.
Mm-hmm. And if you say what they don't want you to say. You're in trouble. It becomes a thing. Is this like, hey, I think we should get your parents this. Like, what do you think? And then you say, I don't like that.
And she's like, well, I just go, okay, well, that's the only idea I have. So now it's on you. Like that. Yeah. That's my one contribution. And if you don't like it, then it's on you. But if you do like it, I will gladly pick that up.
But it's just to the point where like, why even bring it up? Because, you know, I'm going to buy this gift. And you're like, why the fuck did you get my dad this? And I'm like.
But if you know I'm not going to agree with you, what is the point of this conversation? Oh, I guess maybe I don't. Are you just trying to start a fight with me? Okay. I was going to say, well, I mean, maybe I don't.
I wouldn't ask if I knew 100% Nick wasn't going to agree. Yeah. So I guess. Like. I will say my wife is pretty good with. My wife. My wife. Is pretty good with like coming up with ideas.
Because I hate Christmas gift, like buying gifts for people. Oh, it's the worst. Not because I don't want to spend the money or whatever. Just because like we're all fucking adults. What am I going to do? Buy you a $20 gift card so you can get me a $20 gift card.
And if it's not that, it's like, here's some booze. You get me some booze. Which honestly, that can be fun. Because it's like, here's something you never tried before type of thing. But like, you know, certain people that either don't drink or aren't in, you know, they drink shit beer or shit, whatever.
And so they're not into it. Just like, we're all adults. Can we stop buying presents for each other? And just. And that's why I do the donate. Like, donate to your favorite charity. Yeah, my favorite. Like, you know, the Humane Society, Ventura County Animal Services, anything like.
Yeah, my wife. I won't say which family member, but we recently had to get something for a family member. And we had like a day to figure it out. And we've been thinking about it all week. They're particularly hard to buy for. Particularly.
Particularly hard. And like last minute, she goes. Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. They might like X. And I was like, oh, my God. And luckily we could overnight it from Amazon. Perfect. And it got here just in time. And it was. She's really good at like these last minute.
Like, oh, we should do this. That's awesome. Because I'm like, I don't fucking know, man. We're adults. They're adults. Here's some booze. Or let's just not. Let's just hang out. I've hit that age. Oh, man. I'm so fucking old.
I've hit that age where I'm like, I want experiences. Let's hang out. Let's share a meal. Let's drink together. Why are we buying stuff? We're all adults here. Nobody needs anything.
The only thing I like about the buying stuff is, again, my wife is just really good with like coming up with these like ideas where it's like, hey, we should get this person this.
And I'm like, wow, like that's fucking crazy. Like, why? Why hasn't anybody thought of that before? She's a great gift buyer. Yeah, that's awesome.
And that's and then she like she gets me excited for Christmas, like with all the families, because it's like, I can't wait for this person. I can't wait for this person to open this gift because it it's just so good.
That's awesome. Yeah, it's not. It's not just buying like, yeah, because one thing she hates is getting crap bought for her. Yes. Yeah. And then buying crap for other people. Exactly. That's why I have such a hard time.
Like, I could go buy you a gift basket from Costco for 40 bucks. But how much chocolate are you going to eat this week? Yeah. Like, I'm just more into like, if I see something throughout the year that just screams your name, I'll just buy it. I love when things scream my name.
Like, Greg. And then I'm just like, oh, my God, I saw this and I had to get it for you. Like, it doesn't matter. It's like July or well, July is your birthday, I guess. But you know what I mean? Like, I just if I see something.
I'd rather just show up at your house on a random Tuesday. I got you this. You're going to love this. Yeah, I don't I don't know. I don't need to wait for Christmas. I've forgotten about it by then. Damn. Hurt my feelers. Not about you, about the item. Oh, I see. Yeah, we do.
But I mean, we buy Christmas gifts kind of early sometimes, like July, August, September. Do you guys buy for each other? You and the wife? No, no. So we've stopped. You guys don't, right? No, we do.
Oh, you don't buy stuff for each other. What's wrong with him? I don't know. But my wife's tradition, like growing up, was that obviously your parents buy you gifts.
Like, it's hard to get around, like the concept of parents buy gifts. But Santa always brings his favorite hose here. One gift for everybody. So now we carry that tradition with the kids.
So like when they get their Santa gift, it's unboxed. It's put together like. Oh, okay. Like Santa would. Like a bike or a playhouse or something. Yeah, exactly. Like he would deliver it like the toy itself.
So we do the same thing for us. Like we kind of pick out a Santa gift for ourselves. Like we don't buy anything for each other, but it's kind of like, hey, this is what I'm
getting or hey, this is what I want kind of thing. I like that. It works. It works. Yeah. So the wife and I are, like I said, into experiences. So it's like, hey, let's save the money there.
This isn't a butt stuff. I'm going to cut that out because she'll kill me. You're right. She'll still kill you. It's not a triple X podcast. Not yet.
Flex, take off your pants. We will save the money. And you think I'm wearing pants. That's funny. We will save the money and go somewhere like, oh, let's go to San.
Diego for the weekend or Santa Barbara or whatever. Yeah. That's our Christmas to ourselves kind of thing. So. Well, you don't have kids, so you can do that any weekend. Yeah. We do that too. And they save money and they're able to do that. Yeah. They don't give gifts or have kids. What is it?
Dink? Yeah. Double income, no kids. Yep. Yeah. Or dink wad, double income, no kids with a dog. Yeah. That's us. We're dink wads. Dink wads. I said we should buy a ranch, like a huge ranch where we put like a couple houses.
It'd just be dink wad ranch. I would so sign up for that. Yeah. We could have a bunch of dogs. I would like love my neighbors. Yeah. Because I love you guys and that would be awesome. Be perfect. Bunch of dogs. That's what Jesus tells you to do too. Love that neighbor. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, the Jews don't believe in him, so it's fine. What? They don't like wine? Come on. They do. They drink that Manischewitz. Manischewitz. Oh, shit. Oh, God.
Maybe they should start believing in Jesus. Oh, yeah. He makes better wine. Manischewitz is pretty terrible. It's the Jaeger of wine. Oh. Yeah. It's like the grape wine. It's like the grape juice of wine. Grape juice. Jaeger's good.
Eh, when you're in college. Do you drink Jaeger? Just like drink it by itself? Yeah. Like a dessert liqueur kind of thing. I mean, I don't know how dessert a Jaeger is. Do you drink it with your... I mean, I love black licorice.
Dessert-y enough. I hate black licorice. I love black licorice and that's probably the only acceptable thing I would drink Jaeger with as a sipper. Yeah. Not bad for me. No, Jaeger's fine. It's a Wisconsin thing. Probably. God damn. I'm sick of this.
That's it. Everything's a Wisconsin thing. I quit. Headphones are coming off. That's it. I'm bad. I'm walking away. I said good day. I said good day. All right. Well, there's a story I want...
We don't need to read all the news stories here, but there is one I want to get to because it's hilarious. The rest we'll save for another show.
White Claw is launching an electrolyte enhanced zero percent alcohol seltzer. Isn't that just a fucking LaCroix? With electrolytes. With electrolytes.
How do you market that? I'm... It's White Claw. They'll find a way, but... Well, they're jumping on the NA train and... But it's not even... Like, all the NA beer is usually brewed with alcohol and then the alcohol is removed.
This never had alcohol to begin with. It's a fucking LaCroix. It's a Gatorade. It's a sparkly Gatorade. Yeah. It's very interesting. Yes. Look, if they had a tall boy of it, guaranteed I'd try it.
Yeah, but you know it's going to be expensive. It's a White Claw. It's going to be like six bucks for a tall boy. Is it going to be at their LA tap room? The White Claw tap room? Whatever happened to that? I don't know. I feel like...
Did COVID shut that down or something? Hopefully. Hopefully the public was like, please no. Yeah. I feel like as hard as COVID tried to shut that down, white girls just wouldn't let it happen. Yeah, they wouldn't let it.
You know what I've been into, though, is high noons. Oh, I don't love those. Oh, I like them a lot. Well, I had one. I've had one. I've been into them. Not the worst, but also not my favorite. Oh, I think they have good flavors. I've had much better things.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. The flavors they're going to drop initially are lime, peach, mango, and black cherry. I love peach. Anything, really. Oh, I'm sorry. Peach slash orange blossom.
Peach orange blossom. That sounds like shit. Yeah, leave it at peach. Orange blossom's all right. Yeah. I had peach ginger seltzer. I'm not huge on hibiscus, but orange blossom. There you go. I can fucks with that. Okay.
All right. Well, go buy us some fucking 0%. No, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. Don't do it, Fletch. It's because I like orange blossom.
That doesn't mean I'm going to be stupid and buy this sparkling Gatorade by White Claw. It sounds so terrible. I just feel like I have to try it.
It sounds disgusting, and I'm like, I need to know how disgusting it actually is. I can't decide if it's going to sell extremely well or not at all. It's going to tank. In Florida, specifically. I think people are going to buy it thinking-
They're on meth, and they're like, oh, it's White Claw. Yeah. You got to think of it like the Gen Z. The Gen Z crowd, right? They'll probably buy regular- I know. It's super gross. Yeah.
They'll probably buy regular White Claw and be like, hey, now we'll get this electrolyte-filled
White Claw that we can drink after the White Claws, and they think it'll be like, what's that fucking baby drink? Pedialyte. Pedialyte. Pedialyte. Yeah. It'd be like the hangover cure.
Maybe that's what they're going for. Maybe. That's how they should market it. Drink our alcohol, and then drink- Drink this to save yourself. It should be like, pick up this and this. Pick up- You're going to need two packs for tonight. Well, now we just gave them a million dollar idea. Fuck.
Should I cut that out? Yeah, cut it out. We should copyright it- Cut it out. And then try it again. There you go. Yeah. Yeah, if they market it as a hangover thing, I think people might be more likely to buy it. But it's like, just go buy some LaCroix or whatever. Yeah. LaCroix.
All right. To be in the Christmassy spirit here- Which you sound like you're in. Yeah. Ho, ho, ho. Santa's favorite ho. That's right. Ho, ho, ho. Not bad.
It's not beer related whatsoever, but I found this list of the 30 worst Christmas songs of all time. Ooh. Worst? Yeah, from the A.V. Club. I just thought I'd go through it super quick. Huh? No, Little Drummer Boy sucks. That should be the worst.
Well, just you wait. We'll start at number 30 here. Sonic Youth, Santa Doesn't Cop Out on Dope. Oh, so this is going to have the artist as well. Yeah.
29, The Crossfires, Santa and the Sidewalk Surfer. 28, Max Headroom, Merry Christmas, Santa Claus. You're a loveless. You're a loveless. 27, ACDC, Mistress for Christmas. That's got to be a good one.
It's got to. It's a good name. It's ACDC. Yeah. 26, William Shatner, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Oh, Lord have mercy. That's got to be horrible. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Oh, my God. Had a very shiny nose. I feel like we're listening to Shatner right now. Why? That's probably how it is. Yeah. It's got to be. What else could it be? I'd play it, but I don't want to be sued. 25.
25, Afro Man, Deck My Balls. Oh, come on. It's got to be good, right? It's got to be great. 24, Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band, Christmas at Kmart. Yeah. Okay.
Maybe that should be one. Yeah. 23, The Trashman, Dancing with Santa. Okay. 22, New Kids on the Block, Funky Funky Christmas. Oh, hell yeah. That one's a banger. Yeah.
21, The Killers, Don't Shoot Me, Santa. Oh, okay. 20, The Royal Guardsman, Snoopy's Christmas. Weird. 19, Spinal Tap, Christmas with the Devil. That's got to be good. Right?
18, Beck, Flex's favorite, The Little Drum Machine Boy. Oh. 17, James Chance, Christmas with Satan. That's got to be good, too.
16, Neil Diamond, Cherry Cherry Christmas. That's weird. This is probably my favorite title on the entire list. 15, Bon Jovi, Back Door Santa. Nice. Oh. Yeah.
Then you're asking Mom if he's real. Hey-oh. Justin Bieber. She's just afraid to admit it. Number 14, Justin Bieber, Mistletoe.
Number 13, Joe Pesci, If It Doesn't Snow on Christmas. Oh, I can't. Come on. We got to find that. That one sounds glorious. And it's only from 98. It's not even that old. That's insane.
Number 12, Homer and Jethro, Santa Claus, The Original Hippie. That's insane. Yeah, that sounds terrible. 11, The Go-Go's, I'm Gonna Spend My Christmas with a Dalek. What's a Dalek? I have no idea. D-A-L-E-K.
Hmm. Yeah. 10, Paul McCartney, Rudolph the Red, or excuse me, Rudolph the Christmas Reggae. That can't be real. I've never even heard. I listened to this one because I love the Beatles and Paul McCartney.
Apparently, it's the B-side to Wonderful Christmas Time, and he just needed to put a song on there. It's fucking horrible. He played every instrument. Because I love the Wonderful Christmas. Yeah, it's the B-side to that. Yeah, that's a good one.
And the record company was like, you need to make a song. And so he's like, well, fuck you. Here's a song. It's bad. Number nine, John Denver, Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk on Christmas. Oh my God.
Oh my God, I'm like reliving childhood trauma. How is that not number one? How is that not the best song on this list? Oh my God. Eight, Crazy Frog, Last Christmas.
Seven, Cliff Richardson. Richard, 21st Century Christmas. Six, Lady Gaga, Christmas Tree. Five, Petitonics, That's Christmas to Me. Interesting. Four, Weird Al, The Night Santa Went Crazy.
Dude, that song's so fucking good. It's not as good as Christmas at Ground Zero, though. Christmas at Ground Zero. I don't know, dude. That one's so good. The button has been pushed. The night Santa went. Oh, it's so good.
Number three, The Weather Girls, Dear Santa, Bring Me a Man This Christmas. Oh my God. I listened to that one, too. It's like It's Raining Men, but Christmassy.
It's exactly what you think it is. It's raining men. Ho, ho, ho. Jingle, jingle. Oh, it's great. Number two, Elmo and Patsy, Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer. Come on. That's not even, that's so good.
And then number one, worst song on this list. New song, that's the band name, new song, Christmas Shoes. Did you listen to that one? I listened to it a little bit. It's a super religious. It's a super religious Christian band. Oh.
And it's about like some boy wanting to buy shoes for his mom for the holidays. And the guy was like giving him money or something for it and started crying. And it was awful. Sounds like a country song. It does. Kind of-ish.
It's just bad. So anyways, thanks to the AV Club for that one. That was really entertaining. Thank you. I want to listen to that Bon Jovi song. Oh my God. What was it called? Back Door Christmas. Back Door Christmas. Back Door Christmas. Back Door something.
It was involved back doors and I want in. Or what about Daddy Don't Get Drunk on Christmas Road? That one, John Denver. Oh my God. R.I.P. But that's so bad. R.I.P. Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk on Christmas. 40 years ago. Yeah.
That John Denver's full of shit, man. That's all I think of. Back Door Santa. That's what it was. Back Door Santa. Oof. Anyways. Before we hit the best tradition of all Christmas traditions, let's answer some important questions.
In a world where craft beer is king. A world where muscles are bigger than ground. Editing genius. A world where muscles are bigger than ground. Only one tongue can guide us. One man. One tongue.
One tongue jobber. In this world, we must find out what is flex drinking. All right.
So I've been really excited for the last couple weeks because this beer has finally released again for the first time in about 10 years-ish. I've talked about it on a couple shows.
It's Lakefront Brewery's Holiday Spice. Oh, you talked about that a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago. Yeah. And it is a heavily spiced barrel-aged lager beer.
It is brewed with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, orange peel, and honey. And then it was aged in a blend of brandy, bourbon, and rum barrels. Nice. Wow.
This bad boy weighs in at a 10.6%. Untap says it has 20% of the beer. 20 IBUs. Who really knows? It's made up.
There's only 158 check-ins on this 2023 variant, but it has a 3.92. All right. The description here is a little bit different.
Brewed with cinnamon, orange zest, clove, and generous amounts of honey. Smooth, full, and spicy. The blend of brandy, bourbon, and rum barrel gives our winter warmer complex notes of oak, marzipan, toasted.
Almond, and molasses. So, on the nose. A lot of flavors going on. Heavy barrel character. Most notably the rum coming through.
But a lot of woody barrel. And on the old tongue jumper. That looks good woody. I was going to say woody pecker. That's what I called woody woodpecker when I was a kid. Left out the second wood part. Yeah. Good lord.
Important wood. It's got a nice color, dude. It's like a red hue. Oh, it's gorgeous. gorgeous it's like this ambery coppery it's got like cherry juice does it have legs or is it thin
it's hard to tell i don't know it's delicious um so you definitely get it's actually shocking you
do get the honey um lots of cinnamon lots of clove um not too much of that orange zest but
i'm sure that brings it all together um no hint of the 10.6 abv it's completely hidden there's no
burn there's no sense of alcohol in there at all just uh danger juice no it's bizarre to me how
something like this can be brewed but um it's gold it used to be a tradition for me every christmas morning a family comes over to open gifts you crack one or two of these
it used to be a little bit higher in abv like it was like 12.4 or something like that wow so they did dial it down a little bit but i'm just happy to have it again
yeah that's awesome they brought it yeah so cheers to lakefront for re-releasing this bad boy yeah absolutely cheers ho ho ho daddy um all right that's it for this
episode except for one last thing we gotta finish it oh a quick how this came around if you're new to the show every year i do this because i grew up in la the la area where uh the morning show
mark and brian started in the late 80s went all the way through the mid 2000 well 2012 i think is when they ended and mark of mark and brian found this cassette i believe it was at a salvation army
or something and it was this old disney record where disney had recorded these like holiday things and it was like a lot of foley and a little bit of music and anyways they they played it every
christmas on the radio show and then after they went off the air and i started podcasting i was like i gotta carry on the tradition it's it's my favorite so uh here is the dropping of the yule log
drop it christmas eve is probably the most exciting night of the year for children everywhere at our house the ritual is always the same mom hurries dinner out of the way so that the
festivities can begin first i lay a fire in the fireplace i pride myself on the way i lay a fire
to begin i crinkle the great fire put under the grate kind of oceany
then i put in the crinkling newspaper breaking the sticks into the proper lengths me and nick google proper length of kindling then i bring in the yule log and put it in the grate
that's the biggest log we've ever had dad yeah and the heaviest too oh
I can't i've been listening to that for like 30 years and i still laugh it's so good his voice reminds me of will ferrell oh really in uh austin powers actually when he's uh
i'm i'm very badly burned but i'm okay my leg might be snap broken but but i can still i can still drag myself
that just sounds like mustafa who engineering this thing didn't go hey you want to do another take it sounds like you're dropping a
deuce yeah no one actually that's the biggest log we've ever seen right and these two so good
and that was disney like what disney wtf yeah think about how fucked up disney's always bad
yeah secret dicks and yeah yeah i still have those cassettes or whatever vhs yeah the little penises on them yeah i have it i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna
get rid of it so much sex and penis and disney why not add some shit literally some shit literally
the heaviest shit you've ever taken oh dad so good so anyways uh with that we'll we'll sign out we'll hope everyone has a great holiday whatever it is they're celebrating hopefully it's festivus
though because that's the only real one um it's music i'll say merry christmas to vanessa oh yeah merry christmas vanessa holy smoke thanks for letting me hang out with you guys
that's my favorite time of year dropping the yule log with us i appreciate that known tradition to greg yeah well i needed help it was such a heavy log heaviest log we've ever had
size 16s well and nick and i are sticks and kindling so it really really works out really sparking some flames we really are yeah so uh anyways find us all crappy republic of course
flex me a beer underscores in between and ice coal beer underscores after each one craft beer public.com members 804-625-6255
538 beer that's 2337 hope everyone stays very well hydrated for the holidays and on that note good night everybody