Welcome to the Creative Switch, the podcast inspiring the sensibly successful to switch on their unexpressed creativity for a more fulfilled life. If you are someone who would like to reconnect with your creative self and feel like you've put it off for too long, you are not alone. I won't go into all the details of my own transition from recruitment to creative adventurer again here. Safe to say it has not been a straight path. If you're curious to know more, I've shared a link in the shownotes to a blog post charting my various career moves and the steps I've taken to bring me here today hosting this podcast. It is such a privilege talking to and learning from our incredible guests about my favourite subject, creativity. Today's is one of those guests who has such a powerful story to share about what happens when you switch that part of yourself on. When you know you no longer want to stay in a highly successful career, even though for most of your life you believed it was exactly what you wanted, what do you do and how courageous do you need to be to act on that constant feeling that something isn't quite right? Especially when you realise all the implications of a decision to switch and head in a different direction? I can't wait for you to hear Louise's story shortly. But before that, if you're looking to turn your creative inspiration into action, don't forget to listen right to the end of the episode and catch up with my creative adventures. This is where I share the challenges I encounter and how acting on the nuggets of wisdom I've learnt from my guests and applying those learnings is helping me to move forward in my own creative projects. I share how being inspired by three different guests and the advice from writer and audio biographer Caroline Pearce on how learning with others can really boost your confidence, have helped me to take a small but bold step towards a new creative adventure. Before we get to that, do remember to head to my website nikkivallance.com where I've gathered even more insights and advice from my guests in your free guide to seven common creative challenges and how to overcome them.

And now it's time for some creative news in the edge. With boldness at the heart of today's episode, I wanted to look at the places where people have lived through the cost of staying put or have been shown what might be possible when they step towards something unfamiliar. A recent article from the King's Fund painted a vivid picture of what it felt like for many NHS staff to keep going in roles that had once felt like a calling but have become emotionally unsustainable. The piece described leaders and clinicians who carried a deep sense of responsibility while feeling worn down by the pace and pressure of the system. Senior organisational development consultant Sharon Nash writes that "fear, relentless pressure and uncertainty have trapped NHS staff in survival mode." You can feel the weight carried by those people who have given so much to a profession that shapes their identity, only to realise that staying came with its own kind of cost. It echoes the kind of crossroads you'll hear about later when Louise shares her story, the moment when you recognise that holding on has become its own kind of risk. Another story came from Creative UK's coverage of the Discover Creative Careers initiative. The programme reached almost 80,000 young people across the UK, offering them a glimpse into creative work that many had never imagined possible for themselves. The organisers described how the Month of events opened doors to backstage worlds at concert venues and theatres and into gaming labs developing new technology, amongst many other opportunities. It gave young people from diverse backgrounds the chance to step forward towards something unfamiliar, especially for those who had grown up believing these paths weren't meant for them. That kind of exposure often becomes the first nudge towards a life that looks nothing like the one you planned. Both stories illustrate that there are moments in life when you feel the strain of staying where you are, even when you've worked hard to get there. And there are moments when you catch sight of something that stirs a different part of you, a possibility that asks for more courage than certainty. Boldness rarely arrives as a clean decision. It tends to grow in the small, uneasy spaces where you admit what's no longer working and allow yourself to imagine what might come next. For a more in depth exploration on the art and science of creative living, why not join in with the conversation at the Bold Types on Substack where you can find and comment on more of my articles. Or why not message me on Instagram at Nikki_Vallance. Whether you're just starting out or are already in the thick of pursuing your creative passion, I really do love to hear from you. And listen next to hear that story of how taking a huge leap outside of her comfort zone led a pediatric trauma surgeon back to the creativity she loved and opened up a whole new unexpected world of creative expression, Louise Morris. Welcome

Oh thank you so much for having me. Exciting and a little nerve wracking.

Oh don't be nervous, it's going to be fun. We're just having a chat. The first thing I'm going to ask you is if you could just introduce yourself and tell everybody a little bit about who you are and what you do.

Okay. That's a hard one. I know who I am. I'm Louise Morris and I'm in a bit of identity crisis possibly. Okay,

Okay intersesting.

I spoke to a friend on the school run this morning about coming on the podcast and she said, oh yeah, what's it about then? What's a creative switch? And I said, well, basically it's burning your life down and then just doing creativity. That's kind of what I'd done. So my background is I am was a paediatric surgeon. So I spent 18 years in the NHS. My last job was as a consultant pediatric and neonatal surgeon at Alderhay up in Liverpool. And when that fixed term post ended last July, I made a decision not to apply for any more jobs when I came home to my children. And then I discovered writing, which was quite a surprise. Okay. But my life has gone off in this creative direction and I still don't quite know where I'm going, but I'm enjoying the ride.

Okay, loads to explore there. So let's go back a bit first because that's probably easier for you because you can remember what you did and the decisions you made. And I guess that's all part of who you are, regardless of whether you're still doing it or not. So talk to me about your career path and how you ended up getting to that point where you decided you weren't going to renew or look for a new contract.

If we're going to the actual turning point of when I was going to be a doctor, it was I used to watch Jimmy's on TV when I was 5 and I loved it. And I said, mom, when I grow up, I'm going to be a doctor. And I did. When I got my final results, I remember phoning my mum and saying those exact words because we'd watched Jimmy's together and it was a bit of a moment. And I thought I'd spend my whole career, my whole life practicing medicine. And I did. I enjoyed it. At first I realized I wanted to be a pediatric surgeon towards the end of medical school when I did a placement and met this really inspirational woman who was a mother and was a surgical trainee and was just proving that it can be done. It's still a very male dominated specialty. And I essentially decided I wanted to be her when I grew up. And I'm still in touch with her. She lives just a couple of villages away and she's still a surgeon. She's amazing. And, yeah, I absolutely loved it. I got on a training program which takes years and years. It takes you all over the country. And once I met my husband, got married, I had children and I came back to Nottingham, which is where I'd done all of my medical school and early training. The department that I'd worked in had changed and the culture was very different and the job wasn't what I remembered. And if that had been my first experience, I wouldn't have gone into this at all. I don't know what I would have done. It would have been some different specialty. But I sort of stuck it out. But it became really hard and I had a period of burnout and the work stress just became all consuming, essentially, and I didn't have the support there that I'd had before. And it was just a really, really difficult time. But I got stuck into that sunk cost fallacy of being so close. The training goes up to ST8, the specialty trainee 8. And I started ST7 in 2015, and in 2020 I was still ST8. It just took a really long time because of going off on maternity leave and being sick in pregnancy and then the burnout. And then when I came back, sort of not quite being allowed to do things because I'd been off, so I wasn't seen as committed enough. And it was all of that that just made it not what it was, but I stuck it out. And I finished training and then did a special fellowship in major trauma because I realized there was a gap where children's major trauma isn't really a specialty on its own, because fortunately, major trauma in children is quite rare. But it means there's this real niche where adult trauma surgeons are really good at trauma but sometimes a little bit hesitant around small people. And pediatric surgeons don't see much major injury. Sadly, they're seeing more of it now, but they don't have the experience that adult trauma surgeons do where they've done multiple, multiple major trauma laparotomies and things. So I thought, I'll go and do a fellowship in that. I became the first, I think, still the only pediatric surgeon in the UK to have done dedicated, national, prestigious fellowship in major trauma. But because I did that before, it was really a thing, when I then got in touch with the units to say, does anyone want a consultant who can do major trauma and pediatrics? Everyone went, well, what do you need one of those? So there were no jobs, so I applied for consultant jobs. I went up to Liverpool where I was appointed to a year long, I think it was 14 months in the end, consultant post. They are a major trauma centre. They do the other subspecialty that I was interested in and it's an incredible hospital with a wonderful team and I was really fortunate to meet them and to work there. But it was two hours from home and two hours from where my children are and I couldn't relocate for a temporary post. We weren't going to give up my husband's job for a job that might end in a year. So I spent the year when my children were five and two, living two hours from home, spending half my salary on renting a flat up there so that I could work and be on call. And I threw myself into it. I really worked, I really enjoyed it. I was so fortunate that it gave me a year of a really positive culture, really good support from my consultant colleagues and it was sort of a year of healing after the difficulties of getting to the end of training. But even there, even where I was doing that, there was just a little bit of me thinking, well, now that I'm finished training and I've ticked off all the boxes I had to tick to get to here, is this it? Is this my Life? The next 20 years?

Yeah.

What else is there? And I think if I had got a permanent job up there, I probably would have taken it and I would have carried on doing that, what I trained for for the next 20 years. And that would have just been my life and I would have probably been relatively content. My goodness, it's been such a gift not doing that. I feel like I've woken up to Mary Oliver's one wild and precious life.

Amazing. I guess you're still exploring. I talk about being a creative adventurer because I don't really quite know where my creativity is going to take me. There's a question, right, which I think I need to ask myself as well, which is, does it matter? Do we need to know? Do we need to know where it's going to take us? From a financial point of view, you need to try and work out how that's going to work, but in terms of what discipline, where it goes, whether you end up writing books or you write freelance work and you get articles in major press or whatever, that's kind of outcome stuff. And it sounds to me like it's the experience of just allowing yourself, allowing that creativity in is the thing. It's not the outcome that matters so much. Is that a fair thing to say?

Yeah, I think it is. There's always been a bit of creative in me. You know, I've had these hobbies, I'm fairly neurodivergent and I've got the classic hobby graveyard where I've still got all the kit for all these things I've tried over the years. But I did jewelry making, I went and did silversmithing courses. I started crocheting when I was pregnant with my first. He's now eight. And even when I was working in Alderhay, I would take a cardigan that was crocheting. And when we had like long teaching sessions, I'd find it would help me focus just to be. To be making something. And I really enjoyed that. I've done baking, cake, decorating, that kind of thing. So I always had a little creative outlet that was more following recipes, as it were. I'd follow a pattern or I would. A little course. There might be a little bit of creativity in there, you know, choosing one color or something. But it wasn't the real deep thinking. It's really hard when you're in a busy, busy job. It really was, you know, the hours are all consuming. It's probably the second time I've used that phrase in our chat so far. You don't have space to think about who you are and what you want and what you enjoy and what would you like to try? You don't have that time to breathe. And I feel so massively privileged that when I finished work I had done lots of extra shifts, been aware that the end was coming and managed to save up enough to allow some space when I finished that I didn't just have to go and get a job somewhere doing anything. And I've been able to take some time to figure out what's next. And then you're right, I haven't quite got to the answer yet. I think that that's okay, but I don't minimize the fact that it takes resources to be able to do that. And I'm incredibly fortunate that I've been able to do that. Got a really supportive husband and yes, I was always the main earner, but we're okay. I'm spending a lot less because I'm not paying rent to Liverpool, I'm not paying all the bills up there, I'm not driving thousands of miles. Life is cheaper when you're not doing all of that. I don't need to buy work clothes, just all those things. But I still recognize that I am really lucky that I'm not having to go out and just get any job that would then take me away from this freedom to think.

Yes, it's a tricky one, isn't it, because all of us have obligations, commitments, responsibilities. And I guess at a point when you're deciding what you're going to do with your life early on, the education system has this echo of, well, if you're bright, you're not going to go be a hairdresser. I mean, I had it said to me I wanted to learn touch typing at school because I thought it's going to be a useful skill. And they said, oh, don't do that because you'll end up being a secretary. And I say, no, I won't. I'll just have a skill that I can use. But it's difficult to resist that when you also know inside that you want to be able to support yourself and feel safe and secure. And even if you do have a calling, like you clearly did, because you were inspired to follow a path and stick to it and get there, even if you've got that, you still have somehow to know that your choices are going to give you a secure future. And I think a lot of people don't feel secure in their creativity and often neglect it because of that, not because they're not good at it. But I want to go back to your earlier statement. You were saying you've always had creativity in you and you do these other things. So do you remember a time when you recognize that creativity, when you were earlier on in your life? Are there moments when you thought, oh, I love doing these things, these crafts.

I always have. I mean, even as a very young child, I would make these little, like, sewing kits that you'd get from a shop that came with bits of felt that you'd then sew into a squirrel? I think I've still got one somewhere that my kids play with, and I'd make them and show them to my grandparents. I used to write, but only really for schoolwork. I might have entered a couple of competitions back in the day and always got, like, really nice feedback on it. But I never saw myself as a creative writer. I just did it because I had to. And I was never any good at drawing. I was kind of too perfectionist for that. I could never draw exactly like it looks, so I just couldn't ever say anything was finished.

Yeah, that's tricky, isn't it? So I guess what you've now come to the realization of is we're all creative in different ways and you have always had it inside. You just didn't have the time and space to think, to connect with it, whatever. Now you're exploring it. So you mentioned earlier you found writing, so talk to me about how you found writing and why that's the thing that seems to be your dominant creative outlet at the moment.

Yeah. So it was completely by accident. I came across an advert for Beth Kempton's Winter Writing Sanctuary, probably on Facebook, and I thought, oh, that looks interesting. And it was free and it was a week long. You can get writing prompts. And I went, oh, I wonder about that. And it just sounded really nice. Nice thing to do over New Year. And it was incredible. Absolutely loved it. Became a real ritual and I was so sad when it finished. What am I going to do now? So what I did was sign up for all of her courses for the rest of the year and asked my husband, can I spend some money on doing this and just seeing where it goes? And suddenly I find that my brain works in poetry, which is really weird because I never wrote poetry as a child.

Wow.

But now I'll get a writing prompt, even a journaling prompt, and it will come out as a poem. No idea where in my brain it comes from.

How amazing.

Yeah, that's very cool.

Do you find it's particular things that trigger the shape of those words? So is it an emotional thing, do you think, or is it an observational thing? Where do you think they're being sparked?

It's something in the word within the prompt that then must sort of interact with some memory or some emotion that feels currently of mind and then they mix together and then I quite like the sound play of poetry. So not necessarily, you know, end of line rhyming, occasionally that. But usually it's more just following with sounds and getting into the rhythm of it. You know, things like when I listen to Hamilton. Absolutely love Hamilton, or Amanda's poetry is incredible. I remember watching her inauguration poem and words just flow into each other and just makes my brain like sing a little bit.

Are you musical as well?

I did grade one flute and got 150 out of 150. So I never did another one because.

You couldn't top it.

Yeah. But yeah, I loved music as a child. I never really went any further with it. I did some more flute lessons, but I never did any more exams or anything.

The reason I asked that is because the musicality of words, even in your writing, that's not poetry. If you're tuned to that, it will be within there. The way it flows, the way you're drawing people through the prose does have that rhythm and that kind of change of tone and which is very similar to music. So you recognize in yourself that you have this perfectionistic trait which often high achievers do have. But counter to that, when you're being creative, one of the things you have to do is be able to play and accept that it doesn't first time round come out necessarily perfect. How do you deal with that?

Yeah, well there is that editing phase. So when I'm very accepting of when it first comes out, it's not perfect. And although sometimes I'll make myself just throw it down on the page and that's it. So sometimes I'll do that and it is what it is. I quite enjoy that because it's really defined. Most of the time it'll be I'll put something down and then I'll come back to it and shape it a bit more. And it can be difficult to accept something is finished. A deadline helps. I did a submission for Write Up which was an event in London and I think I started. I've been thinking about it but I couldn't find any words until 10pm and the deadline was midnight. And yeah, I got it written 500 words. It never feels good at the time but my best work comes out when there's a deadline.

Yeah, there's something to be said for the restriction of resources too. Those boundaries are sometimes where, like you say, where we do our best work. Having endless time or endless money doesn't necessarily make you any better. In fact sometimes it makes you worse because you can choose. Do I do it? Oh, I can't be bothered. So you don't know quite where your writing is taking you but it's definitely the dominant form that your creativity is coming out at the moment. What are you doing with your writing?

Yeah, it's taken a little bit of a break. It just became so very difficult and we've got a few difficulties, illness in the family at the moment as well. That's just sort of swerved my focus necessarily so. But the plan is and what I'm hoping to do is to write a book. Now originally I had in my mind I wanted to write a book about decision making because I was the classic indecisive child. I'd go into a sweet shop and I would come out empty handed because I couldn't choose. But then I grew up to be a trauma surgeon who could and did make split second life and death decisions. And I didn't find that hard. That almost came out wrong. Of course it's hard making life and death decisions. You never take it lightly. But I never found myself vacillating unnecessarily. Things would be considered, but I could do it. I could decide what needed to be decided in the time that it needed to be done. So, yeah, I sort of wanted it to be almost like an instruction manual about decision making and a little bit about openness and decision making. So, for example, when I was operating, I would often be speaking out loud and saying my thought processes. Not because I doubted myself necessarily, but because it invites challenge more than if you're just doing something and not talking about it and you want to invite contribution. So if I was operating with a registrar, for example, even the least experienced would still have been a doctor for five or six years and have significant amount of surgery under their belt. So of course they're going to see things from that side of the table that I can't see and might have seen different cases previously. So if I'm saying, well, I think this vital looks okay and that bit, I'm not sure we'll come back to that, it then invites them to say, well, actually I've seen this before and this, is what we did. And I just think it's a really helpful thing to show them how I'm thinking, but also make sure we're doing the right thing for the patient. And there seems a real resistance to that. Often with the more senior you get, you can't be seen to be weak or questioning. You should be firm about what you're doing. Yeah, I think there's a real power in being open. Yeah, that's the original plan. But actually working with some writing mentors, it's probably going to have a lot more element of memoir in it because apparently my story is what people find interesting, which is really hard to get my head around.

Yeah, what I think it is is that people connect with human stories. And either you obviously, ethically, you can't tell detailed stories about your patients, but you can tell in general. You can say, these are the kind of things that happen. But it's like anything, people want to know the person behind the face that they know. They want to know where do they live, have they got a family? And it's the normal things about a person who is in an extraordinary situation, the things that people can connect with. So I think that's probably why it's always the backstory that people are interested in. It kind of makes sense. It sounds like a mixture is the right thing because you've definitely got a purpose there. You've definitely got a message that you want to get across.

I need to actually get some words down. Yeah, there's lots there. There's the whole medical misogyny piece. And I was chatting to a good friend earlier on about the massive amount of work that could be done there. There's all of the purpose around what I was doing in medicine, you know, injury prevention type work. There's all of this. I could use storytelling to get the message out.

Yeah. So you talked about your creativity in terms of your writing and saying that, at school there isn't really much opportunity to be creative and do creative writing. And I guess your personal poetry is this mysterious, magical thing that happens sometimes and you can't really stop it from happening. Can you see yourself ever writing using your imagination in a creative way rather than it being factual or memoir?

I love the idea of it, but I just don't know if I've got the imagination to do it. Like to make up something that isn't real. I don't know if my brain's just a bit too black and white and rigid.

Yeah.

If I ever wrote fiction, it would probably be so many stories based on real life that it would be really hard to unpick. And I guess a lot of fiction is like that.

It is, Yeah. A lot of it is the sort of fiction I read and the fiction I write is. I love things that are grounded in truth. I'm not really a fantasy/ sci fi type person. But funnily enough, you mentioned earlier on about your own story and that's what people are interested in. And I think ultimately all stories are really human stories. It's doesn't matter where the setting is. It's about adventure or it's about fear of failure. It's about decisions, it's about overcoming challenges. And all of those doesn't matter where you write what type of story it is. Those are the points in which the story is a recognisable form. I don't like particularly following the rules. I mean, you must have had to follow rules to be a pediatric surgeon or a doctor

Not all, but.

Oh, okay, tell me more.

It's one of the things about being a doctor is, as opposed to many of the other health professions, we are a lot less restricted by protocol because you're using clinical acumen a lot more. That doesn't mean we don't use guidelines in an evidence base, but you're using your experience and that spidey sense and gut instinct. And it counts for so much because it isn't just a made up thing, it's the coming together of all of the previous cases you've seen and the specific skin tone that that patient has that you're just not happy with and you can't quite put your finger on why there's something not quite right, but there isn't. That, I guess, is the difference between doctors and many of the other health professionals. You ring NHS 111 for listeners in the UK and it is necessarily almost a tick box list that they have to go down a specific question that they'll have to ask. That might seem silly, but it's just so they can go down a sort of determined algorithm. Whereas medicine is a lot more of not.

Interesting. So you've been creative even within your other job then,

And surgery is because the anatomy might be supposed to be in the right place, but a lot of the time people like to throw curveballs and put an artery where there wasn't supposed to be one.

You're responding to what you see, aren't you, rather than the textbook version of something.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's this constant joke. So and so hasn't read the textbook.

Do you? It's still early days and you're probably still a little bit raw, but are there parts of your old job that you miss?

Yeah, sure. I mean, it's the patients is why I went into it. It's that it's human connection. It's just like you're saying about stories being on about humanity and human stories. It's the human connection, you know, holding a parent's hand as I'm explaining to them that we're going to do all we can to save their baby. The trust that those parents put into us as we take their child into an operating theatre, it's just immense. And you never take that for granted in any way at all. It's having a bad day and a two year old running the length of the ward to give you a hug. That child's 18 now.

Yeah.

Even on my very last day, there were a couple of families that I've not been there that long, but a couple of families that I got to know enough that I needed to ring them myself. To say, when you come to your follow up, it'll be someone else. And yeah, we had a good cry on the phone. You have a connection between you and you've shared that unique relationship, something quite special.

So there's bits of your job that, that you miss. There's lots of stuff, bureaucracy, culture, whatever, whatever that you don't miss. But those bits that you miss, are you finding ways to have those experiences outside of the medical world? Are you able to make those connections with people? Are you finding a way of doing that?

I'm trying. I mean, first start, I'm getting to have that relationship or an even deeper relationship with my own children because I wasn't seeing my own children and that was hard and they were very small when I left them to go up there, leaving them in tears on a Sunday night to go back to work was. It was tough.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm not cut out for like stay at home parenting and not doing anything else. I'm. I'd be absolutely hopeless. So, yeah, I think one of the things I've found within this writing world and I found the community on Substack was there seemed to be a bit of a craving for in person connection. Like you get on the many, many zoom calls and things that you might meet people on. And so I started going to a few meetups and created a directory to collate the events that are happening because I couldn't find out what was going on. I'm totally new to all this world. I don't even know what exists. So I made LiveStack which is still really new and growing and still not as efficient as it needs to be to be sustainable. But it's getting there, it's developing through that. I've got to meet so many people. We met at one of Tania's Ease retreats with Claire Venus, which is just a beautiful day in the Oxfordshire countryside. I think that same week I took to Northumberland and did an artist book workshop with Sarah Marpeth. And that was just fab. I made these gorgeous little like bound books that were stitched, which was really nice for me. And I had held a scalple for the first time in many, many months. I know what to do with one of these. That was kind of fun. And then went on to London and read my poetry out loud and open mic for the first time ever. And then that led to the writer Ben that I mentioned earlier with the deadline and my piece was chosen to be performed that night. So I was paid to read my writing, which was just wonderful.

Yeah.

And it's interesting what you mentioned earlier about at school if you're bright, pushing you into sort of professions and things. I went to school in Barnsley and it wasn't like that at all. It's almost that very little was expected of us. I remember we were the best year that my school had ever had in terms of GCSE results, because 27% of us got five A to Cs.

Wow.

Yeah. So it wasn't expected. Not that many of us went to university at all. I think there were only four from the whole town that went to medical school in my year. There were only two sixth forms in all of Barnsley. There certainly was back then anyway. And so the four of us, went to Barnsley College and then the other six form, went to medical school and I knew where they went. Professions weren't really a thing. It really was hairdressing beauty therapy.

Yeah.

My dad's generation, it was going on a pit.

Yes.

Yeah.

Were you your first in your family to go to university?

First in my immediate family, yeah. I think the first overall, my mum's little brother had gone a few years before, but certainly in my immediate family I was.

How was that then? Was that difficult because you hadn't got anyone else to follow? You were just determined to go be a doctor. So that was that.

Yeah. I'd watched Jimmies and said, mum, when I grow up, I'm going to be a doctor, and to be a doctor I had to go to university. So that's what I did. But I didn't fit in because I talked really Yorkshire. A lot more Yorkshire in there. I went to Nottingham. Didn't realise it was quite posh. I just liked the green campus. She said, it's quite posh and I'm not.

Did it affect you then, the fact that you didn't fit in or did it just make it easier just to do your own thing and just keep going with your own plans?

Maybe. Maybe I've never really fitted in anywhere anyway, because the trouble with going to a school where you're not expected to do very much, if you do do well in tests and things like I seem to, you know, it invites unkindness from some of the other children. I had some difficult times at school. I learned very, very young not to put my hand up in class. So I think it was just a sort of continuation that I've just never really fit in anywhere.

Does it feel different in the writing space where you've been meeting people? Do you feel more like you fit in there?

Yeah. A lot of the people I've met have been very similar. I think that probably is a lot of neurodivergence in the creative space, because it's the way this brain type seems to come into its own. We can find patterns where people haven't found patterns before. We can see new connections and free up new ideas.

One of the things that's important in the writing space is to not be the same as everybody else, because what's the point in writing another book that everyone's read before? So actually, that difference and that way of thinking differently is an advantage in this world. So. Yeah, so tell people where they can connect with you, where they can find your writing and tell them about your other ventures as well, so that they know exactly what's available.

Yeah. So my writing is mostly on substack. That Anatomy of a Decision. I don't know the link will be there, but it's lulamorris.substack.com and then the live event directory that we spoke about earlier is LiveStack, so that's on substack too. Although there is a website in development that I'm hoping will just smooth out the process of gathering and organising the information so that I don't have to do it all painstakingly by hand, as I'm mostly doing that. It's a directory of book events, both in the UK and some abroad. We've had some European and some U.S. events.

Yeah. And you aren't necessarily active on social media. I applaud that. I wish I didn't have to do it at all. But outside of substack, I mean.

Have a Facebook account, but really, it's just. There's a few groups on there that I'm in a few groups and I have an Instagram account but I forget to check it. So by the time I look and there's a notification, the story that someone tagged me and has gone and LinkedIn scares me. If I go there, for whatever reason, I get scared really quickly and then I scuttle back to.

I know what you mean. They all have different personalities, don't they, these things? And I think people's interest in connection is absolutely still there. And as you say, very much in person is. It just has an indefinable quality to it that is very human and I think, you know, you can't really replace it. But even the method by which you find people and connect with them in those other places is changing because of the way the algorithms have been changed. And, you know, interest in them is waning a little bit because of that, I read something the other day about Facebook. Someone had built up a massive page when it was in the height of the time when it was reach was really good. And now organic reach is so low, there's almost no point in putting anything on your page because even the people who like you and know your work won't see it. It's just like, what is the point? So Substack feels different from that at the moment. Who knows what's going to happen as it grows. It's difficult to say, isn't it? I'm thankful to it because of it. We met each other.

It's where all this came from. LiveStack came from a vision that I had one night about a conference of creatives where you're doing the sort of writing circles that have brought me into writing, but in person. And then an afternoon of kind of businessy stuff that lots of people do on Substack. And then. And there's some open mic and all flowers and book sales. And one day, one day I will make the conference happen.

And yes, but it's one step at a time, isn't it? And I guess you can only do what you can do at the time you're in, and you have to be in the right place yourself and you're just exploring. Still, you can't expect it to happen overnight because it takes time, which is difficult if you want it to be perfect now because you can't make it perfect now.

Yeah, I've sort of accepted. It's all good. I gave up my license to practice last week. I still have GMC registration, but without a license to practice now, so it's the first time in the other 20 years I can't legally sign a prescription, which feels weird. I haven't signed one for more than a year anyway.

But, yeah, well, it's just newness all around, isn't it? I wanted to close by saying you're extremely humble, but of what you have written that I have read, I think your prose is amazing. I think your ability to argue a point or to put a point across through an essay. I can't believe you haven't been doing this for years. And I do think that your personal story is inspirational because it is a big thing to have committed so much of your life to becoming the top of your game in something, but to be able to recognize it's not completely who you are and doesn't suit where you're at now in your life is quite brave. I mean, some people would think it was ridiculous and stupid and foolhardy, but I think we only have one life, and if you're not happy doing what you're doing, then you've got to change something. And that's what the switch is all about. And you've done that. So you are the epitome of the people I was imagining. I was thinking to myself, there must be some people out there who started doing one thing and thought it was really good and they're really good at it and they're very successful, but they're just not happy. And there's something else they want to do and it's creative. And here we are. You didn't even know it was writing for you, but you knew there was something wasn't working. So I want to thank you for telling your story.

You're going to make me cry, Nikki. Thank you.

I mean, I want to encourage you to keep going and to reach out to other people who may be a bit further along the line than you to show that it's possible to keep going and make it into something, because you absolutely can. If you can get to create a fellowship and be the first person to be a pediatric trauma surgeon. You could do anything you want to, you know. But I absolutely have loved chatting to you. And I will be coming, I'm sure, to one of the live events that advertise the livestack at some point when I finally finish producing this season and have a bit of a break from the podcast. And it's been lovely chatting to you again.

Thank you so much.

No worries. Take care. I can't tell you how inspiring it was to hear how Louise is navigating her way through this time of change. She doesn't claim to have it all figured out, far from it. But by almost stumbling into a love of writing, she is reconnecting with all the ways in which she can express herself creatively whilst navigating a huge shift in her identity. What I love about this is how it shows that being bold isn't about big goals or flashy announcements, but just about being brave enough to listen to what you really need and taking a step towards it, even if you don't quite know where it will lead you. To subscribe to read her brilliant writing at the Anatomy of a Decision or to follow her journey. All the links are in the show notes.

Now it's creative adventures time and I promised to share some advice from writer and audio biographer Caroline Pearce on how learning with others can be a boost to your Creative Confidence if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you'll know that one of the creative expressions I'm exploring is singing. Some time ago I took some singing lessons and for one reason or another, I've not been able to get back to them. Mostly logistical ones. And then time passed and I still wasn't pursuing this form of expression. Having performed at school and in choirs over the years, I knew that it was something I wanted to take up again. But I have to admit I've been procrastinating. I've not done anything about it for over 12 months. When this happens, it can sometimes be easy to say, oh, it's down to not having enough time. Of course, when we say this, what's really going on may not be anything to do with time at all. If deep down we've left something for too long and we've not exercised that particular creative muscle, it's easy to blame it on a lack of time when actually we're fearful of being judged or not feeling confident enough to get visible. And having spoken to the founder of Shared Harmonies, Emma Balin in season one, and then again to community choir leader Xenia Davis recently in my last episode, I realized it was time to stop making excuses and to find an opportunity to sing again. But rather than dwelling on being rusty or doubting my ability or thinking of this step as a big test, I remembered Caroline's advice when she decided to dip her toe back into creative writing. She was very underconfident at first, but by taking a course, she felt that studying as an adult was a low pressure way of exploring her creative fashion, she said, "I just really enjoyed the experience of being in the classroom and being around other people who wanted to learn." It gave her a sense of belonging, it reminded her of how much she enjoyed learning, and it boosted her confidence. And as a quick reminder, if rather than singing, a podcast is the creative adventure you'd like to begin, check out the links for Alitu, my podcast recording and editing software, and captivate my podcast hosting software. I really couldn't do it without these great, easy to use tools. So back to singing. I happened to mention it to my family at Christmas and then recently my dad spotted a chance to join a local community choir for a five week course this spring. So I've signed up! For your own Creative Adventures, to find support in a creative community, why not subscribe to the Bold types on Substack or follow my progress with the choir, maybe on Instagram? The links are in the show notes. Do tell me all about your stories too. I love hearing how you're all getting on. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Creative Switch. If you enjoyed it, please leave a review over on podchaser.com and if you've got any questions, please let me know on Instagram nikki_vallance. Tune in next time for the final episode of the series, where I'll be chatting to my first ever returning guest, the amazingly talented business and creativity coach and friend Helena Holrick, with some really exciting news about something we've been working on together for you, behind the scenes. Until then, keep creating and remember, why survive when you can thrive.