1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,120 I'm Malita Seaman, and I am a lot of things, but mostly I am a wife, a mother, an entrepreneur, 2 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:14,640 a former CEO. 3 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,960 I have a lot of titles that come behind that. 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:24,480 Mostly what I'm doing today is leading inbound leadership, which is an organization to inspire 5 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,920 individuals to live more authentically, but mostly lead authentically. 6 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:34,080 I also just recently wrote a book, Mindset Freedom with My Husband, and it's being released 7 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,080 on May 17th. 8 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,120 We're very excited about that. 9 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:44,480 But Mindset Freedom tells about our journey of having to go inside to live better. 10 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:49,280 The business we were in, something neither of us studied for, knew anything about, but 11 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,960 it was a pathway for us to create a lifestyle that we wanted. 12 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,280 And so I would say we pretended to love it. 13 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:02,560 What we really loved was the money that it generated, the fact that it gave us security, 14 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,240 but in terms of any other fulfillment, it just wasn't there. 15 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:12,040 So after Brad left the business, I continued the business for about three or so years without 16 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,560 him, and I'm kind of foreshadowing the book. 17 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:20,480 But he eventually returned to the business, and together we decided to abandon it. 18 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,240 It was not what we wanted. 19 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:29,320 And that was a very difficult decision because our life, our home, everything was built around 20 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:32,000 it for over two decades. 21 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,480 What we were able to do after that was to pivot more into what was more authentic for 22 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:40,640 us, what felt right for us. 23 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,480 I came up and I was raised in a very traditional family. 24 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:50,920 We were all expected to go through school, graduate from college, get a good job, get 25 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,120 on our feet. 26 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:56,360 And that's all I thought about, get married, have children. 27 00:01:56,360 --> 00:02:01,600 And so I went through the motions without ever asking myself, is this really what I 28 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:02,600 want? 29 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,600 Am I happy? 30 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,920 Do I feel comfortable with what I'm doing? 31 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:10,080 And I continued that right through my marriage with Brad, right through building the business 32 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,960 until our crises hit. 33 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:17,800 And what I realized looking back was all of those microcontortions were developing, they 34 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,600 were creating unhappiness and resentments within me. 35 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:26,280 But I couldn't put my finger on it and I watched so many people talk about, I want to be happy. 36 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:32,680 And I was one that would always say, life just isn't happy, life just isn't designed 37 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:39,520 to be happy when in fact we portray ourselves so many times and even coming close to being 38 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:45,920 able to achieve it because we're so busy marching down the path that we think we're supposed 39 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:52,080 to go down. 40 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:58,560 And really, when Brad left the business, there was a point when I said, why am I doing this? 41 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:02,840 Why on earth am I continuing this business when I'm unhappy? 42 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,280 It's creating havoc in my life. 43 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:09,560 And then the box was, well, how do I get out of it? 44 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:14,680 I've created this reputation, I have this title, I have expectations, how do I just 45 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:18,680 turn around and walk away? 46 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:24,680 Our business model does not work unless individuals have really made the decision and the commitment 47 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:30,000 that they want to make a shift because it's not the easiest thing to do. 48 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,800 Once we start to come up from the iceberg sort of existence where we let the world see 49 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:40,680 10% of who we really are and submerge the rest because it doesn't fit or we're afraid 50 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:48,080 or once we make that commitment to say, OK, I'm OK with opening the kimono, I'm OK with 51 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,440 coming out of the water, we're vulnerable. 52 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,160 There are a lot of things about ourselves that we keep to ourselves or only to the people 53 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:59,880 who are very close to us that we're not willing to let the rest of the world see. 54 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:09,120 But I tell you that you can't really live until you're willing to allow that to happen. 55 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:19,520 I was at the height of pity and very low and alone and I was angry and I was crying out 56 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:26,200 to God, the universe trying to make sense of everything that had happened to me or was 57 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:31,680 happening to me and I remember saying, I really just want to be happy. 58 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:37,160 I don't need a complicated life and I don't need all the things, the extra things that 59 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,520 I have in life, I just want to be happy. 60 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:44,520 That's what I've been broken down to, what I want to be happy and the words that I heard 61 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,280 about were proof. 62 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:54,840 And it was an interesting moment and as I started to journal because I was a big journaler, 63 00:04:54,840 --> 00:05:01,520 I started to write down what was going on with me and the proof it became from pain 64 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:09,240 to presence, from resistance to release, from obstacles to observation, from victimhood 65 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:16,440 to valor, from ego imbalance to ego consciousness, from inner peace, I'm sorry, from insecurity 66 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:23,280 to inner peace, and from tip of the iceberg to top the mountain and really created the 67 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,040 chapters for the book. 68 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:30,080 And that is the process I had to go through to get to the level of contentment that I'm 69 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,600 happy that I reached. 70 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:36,640 And for all of your listeners, what I found is with the people that I work with and everyone 71 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:43,360 I speak to, proof it is a methodology that can help you no matter where you are in life. 72 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:51,640 Because when we make the choice to really look at ourselves and to love ourselves and 73 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:59,560 to go inside of ourselves to listen specifically to the voice that we typically push out, you 74 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:05,160 know, the one that is telling us softly, not the not the loud chatter, the one that's 75 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:11,760 panicky and worried, but the one that calm, the one that's loving, the one that nudges 76 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:16,640 us when we're willing to go in and really listen and pay attention to that voice. 77 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,440 That's where a lot of the answers are. 78 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:24,920 And so we first have to make the commitment to go inside and to block out the external 79 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:31,960 and to give priority to what is being, what is going on and what is felt inside. 80 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:41,320 Excavating allows us to come out more authentically and say, this is who I am. 81 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,880 You know, I've gotten rid of all of this other stuff where I've taken a look at all of this 82 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:52,240 other stuff and uncovered what had what caused me to betray myself or what caused me to not 83 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,560 fully live as myself. 84 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,600 And now that I have gotten rid of that, I'm, I'm, I'm ready to live. 85 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:02,400 I want to live now as myself, authentically as myself. 86 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:07,600 And it's not a perfect science, but it certainly is better than trying to 87 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:12,800 gloss over, go around, work around and pretend that something is not there. 88 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:20,040 I was on the phone with my oldest son, who has a two year old, soon to be three. 89 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,240 And she's a handful. 90 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:28,560 And so we were talking about her and he was expressing, you know, his concern. 91 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:34,160 You know, my parenting, her rate and, you know, and I told him that the best thing 92 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,120 that he can do for her is to really be present. 93 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,960 And it, and it sounds, you know, that doesn't sound very concrete. 94 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:47,240 But what I'm saying to him and what I said to him is when she's speaking to you, stop 95 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:53,000 and really listen and today it's really hard if you have our phones in our hands 96 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,320 and they're just little ones, they don't understand. 97 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,560 But when you stop and you look into their eyes and you really listen 98 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:05,960 and you connect, you know, and it can only, it can take just 30 seconds, 60 seconds. 99 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:11,280 But it means the world to them, you know, and so I would encourage everyone, even 100 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:16,160 for us as adults, adults to adults, you know, you know, partner to partner. 101 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:22,720 If we can just stop and really listen and be present, you know, and just let the other 102 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,200 person know you matter to me. 103 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,920 I hear you, I see you, I understand. 104 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:32,600 Okay, you really want this doll right now, you know, let me stop and understand why 105 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,600 you want me to play pretend right now. 106 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:40,600 Let me pause for and, you know, it's making the decision that I am going to try 107 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:44,080 and be as present as I can, as often as I can. 108 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:48,880 This is not a perfect science again, but trying as much as we can to be present 109 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:54,520 in this fast paced, crazy world we're here in right now that's grabbing our 110 00:08:54,520 --> 00:09:00,080 attention every minute it can get when the priority really is with the people 111 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,760 that we share our most intimate moments with. 112 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:12,280 I convinced myself that the discomfort I was living in was not only something 113 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:17,360 that I needed to do, but I had to do long after I did not have to do it. 114 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:24,040 And unfortunately for me, I stayed there until my situation became a crisis. 115 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:30,800 And I would encourage everyone listening to begin to make changes, small changes. 116 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:36,040 As you're listening to the inner voice, as you're listening to your intuition 117 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:40,560 gut about things that feel right and the things that don't until the things 118 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,480 that don't feel right, create a problem. 119 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,320 Because eventually, you know, you run into a collision. 120 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,440 There's the collision of what's inside and the collision of what's happening 121 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:57,440 outside and if it's no more than being angry with your partner or being angry 122 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,520 with your boss, discontent in your job, it just continues to grow. 123 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:06,680 And so what, you know, I encourage individuals to do is not to ignore it. 124 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,600 You don't have to make a change overnight. 125 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:16,400 But ignoring it can create a crisis that can create pain, that can create suffering. 126 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:21,280 What you want to do is to avoid the suffering or avoid the turbulence or 127 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:28,760 and avoid the tsunami that can come because you did not follow what was really inside. 128 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:34,400 The thing that maybe even sometimes it's saying something that you're in comfortable setting. 129 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,160 Everyone has a way of doing dishes, right? 130 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,160 We have our own system or whatever. 131 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:45,520 So my husband will stack dishes on and he likes to do them in the morning. 132 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:47,720 I'm a person. 133 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,720 I like dishes done right away, but even if they're not done, I like to soak them 134 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:56,160 because I want to make sure there's nothing that's going to stick to the dishes 135 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,480 that maybe won't come off in the dishwasher. 136 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:03,520 So we have this discussion yesterday because he continues to stack 137 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,040 the dishes up and I just couldn't take it anymore. 138 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,800 I'm like, why do you continue to do this? 139 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,760 Can you just at least soak the dishes and then get to them in the morning? 140 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:18,240 But once upon a time, and that's a small example, once upon a time, I think 141 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,960 I would not have said anything and it would just have continued to annoy me. 142 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:27,040 And so not only would the dishes annoy me, but the other little thing that he does 143 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:31,040 would annoy me on top of the dishes, which would annoy on top of the other thing. 144 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,960 And guess what would happen? 145 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:38,080 We'd have an unnecessary argument about something that was not even important. 146 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,560 If someone wants to work with you, what would they expect? 147 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,360 There are three primary areas that we focus on. 148 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:50,800 One, we're launching a series of retreats, offsite retreats in 2026. 149 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,400 Those will be announced, but we're taking a handful of CEOs 150 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:59,560 in an immersive kind of environment and taking them through some experiences 151 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,280 that we are hoping will impact their ability to be more vulnerable, 152 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:08,360 more authentic and more self-aware, because that that that's what's critical. 153 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:09,960 So that's one area. 154 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:14,600 The other is that we do offer workshops for teams. 155 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:20,240 So we go into organizations and we help teams learn how to communicate 156 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,560 and be more authentic and collaborative and self-aware. 157 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,960 And we do some one-on-one coaching. 158 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,400 That, again, really comes down to working with individuals 159 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:35,920 who want to go deep within to excavate, is what I'll say, 160 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:41,240 excavate what's inside and really willing almost to face 161 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,080 whether or not they are in the right seat. 162 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,920 Brad and I laugh about this because we call it the school of life. 163 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,120 Quick, you know, we literally, I'm sure I've taken, you know, 164 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,480 Harvard executive courses, I've done all of that. 165 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,160 And, you know, but nothing compares to living through it. 166 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:05,160 And we, you know, Brad and I have dedicated the last seven years 167 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:11,200 of our lives to really honing in on what has been really important. 168 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,120 What are the lessons we've really learned? 169 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:17,160 And what we have to offer the world is to open ourselves up 170 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,760 and to be very transparent. 171 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:25,160 A practice that I don't compromise on is every morning when I get up. 172 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,360 I created a quiet room for myself. 173 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,480 It's a room that used to be full of junk that I cleared. 174 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:38,320 And it's my space to start my day because I have to center myself 175 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:43,240 through meditation and calm to remind myself who I am, 176 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:47,840 who I choose to be, what I choose to achieve in that one day. 177 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,280 I can't think about the next 10 days. 178 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:54,240 I can't think about too much yesterday, but I can center myself 179 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,680 for the present day because I know once I leave my quiet room, 180 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:01,720 the world is waiting for me and I have to be rooted in myself 181 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:08,480 and committed to myself and journal with myself about what that day means to me. 182 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,680 Because every day is precious. 183 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,960 I start counting my summers and it's like, you know what? 184 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:19,240 I have a limited number of summers left, so every day matters to me, you know? 185 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,680 And so I want to spend every day wisely. 186 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,640 And I just encourage every listener to do the same. 187 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,680 And at the end of the day, you know, I find that I am much happier 188 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,560 and much more content with how I spent my day. 189 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,400 And I know the days I've missed a couple of days. 190 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,360 And I tell you it's a catastrophe because I'm all over the place. 191 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,280 Everyone has a piece of my mind. 192 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,160 Everyone has a piece of my soul. 193 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:46,560 But when I start my day centered with the knowing of who I choose to be, 194 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:51,160 I am I'm destined for a good day or a better day. 195 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:59,200 Mindset freedom was written to encourage and support individuals 196 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,960 in finding that place of peace. 197 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:06,640 You know, life can be very challenging, very demanding, especially in these times, 198 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:10,120 you know, have us kind of split and divided in so many ways. 199 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:16,600 And what we really want, most of us, is really just a sense of peace and belonging. 200 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,560 You know, it's we think often that that's going to come via wealth. 201 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:25,520 That's going to come via certain levels of success, but it comes from the inside. 202 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:30,960 You know, the external can create happy moments, but happiness comes from the inside. 203 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,480 That's where it's it's created. 204 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,000 That's where it's interpreted. 205 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:41,400 And so mindset freedom is really designed to help us tap into that well of happiness, 206 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,280 that place that we can create from. 207 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,440 And that's why it's called mindset freedom. 208 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:50,160 When we release ourselves from these imaginary jails, imaginary 209 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:55,840 mind jails that we put ourselves in that create boxes that have us living lives 210 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,200 that we're not necessarily happy with. 211 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:02,120 So we're hoping that through the journey, taking our journey with us through the book, 212 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:07,240 that others will be encouraged and supported in finding their own happiness and peace.