1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,518 I'm about to prescribe your perfectionist cure. 2 00:00:03,694 --> 00:00:07,486 Hi, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and money mindset coach. And 3 00:00:07,518 --> 00:00:11,358 welcome to the Weeniecast! If you want to 4 00:00:11,374 --> 00:00:15,142 prepare to start a business before you even have an idea, before you 5 00:00:15,206 --> 00:00:18,662 figure out what your niche is, before you make any 6 00:00:18,726 --> 00:00:22,358 plans to quit your corporate job, here is the number 7 00:00:22,414 --> 00:00:26,098 one most important thing that you can work on right now. And 8 00:00:26,114 --> 00:00:29,818 that thing is be bad at. Just be bad. 9 00:00:29,954 --> 00:00:33,442 Go and do things that you've never done before and suck royally at 10 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:37,298 it. Get used to being bad at stuff, right? Because 11 00:00:37,354 --> 00:00:41,050 when you start a business, let me tell you, it's not just offering 12 00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:44,682 the service that you're going to be selling, it is 13 00:00:44,826 --> 00:00:48,434 doing a buttload of other stuff that you've never done before, 14 00:00:48,602 --> 00:00:52,090 even if you come from sales. Oftentimes, my clients who come from 15 00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:55,430 sales, I have to retrain on how to sell their services 16 00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:59,430 because the sales process is very different. Selling your own 17 00:00:59,470 --> 00:01:03,174 time is incredibly vulnerable. It feels 18 00:01:03,222 --> 00:01:06,694 like you're putting yourself up for a whole ton of 19 00:01:06,742 --> 00:01:10,478 rejection, which you are. It's. That's the nature of sales. But 20 00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:13,518 if you're not used to being bad at, you're going to do it once and 21 00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:15,990 then say, I never want to do that again. And then you're going to quit 22 00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:19,142 and then you're going to have to stay with your nine to five job and 23 00:01:19,286 --> 00:01:22,250 your dream of owning your own business is never going to come true. 24 00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:28,714 And it's not just sales that you're going to be bad at. It's marketing. 25 00:01:28,802 --> 00:01:32,570 It's writing content for social media, it's creating video content for 26 00:01:32,610 --> 00:01:36,194 social media. It's learning how to use an email marketing 27 00:01:36,242 --> 00:01:39,722 system. It's understanding how to create a website 28 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:43,394 or how to have someone else create a website. And then knowing how 29 00:01:43,442 --> 00:01:47,154 to tell if it's good or not. It's learning how to speak, it's learning how 30 00:01:47,162 --> 00:01:50,510 to go on a live stream. It's learning how to be on a podcast. 31 00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:54,466 There are so many skills that you're going to have to learn when you start 32 00:01:54,498 --> 00:01:58,012 the business that you're just gonna have to suffer 33 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,620 through being really shitty at for the first dozen 34 00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:05,276 times you do it or more. And if you don't have a resilience to 35 00:02:05,308 --> 00:02:09,040 being bad at it, then, my friend, I'm sorry, 36 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:12,988 starting a business just isn't for you. This is what I call the perfectionist 37 00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:16,772 cure. Because the reason we're afraid of being bad at stuff is because we 38 00:02:16,796 --> 00:02:20,532 expect ourselves to be perfect at it. We don't think anything is worth doing if 39 00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:24,396 we can't do it perfectly. And this is so hard for people 40 00:02:24,428 --> 00:02:27,900 with ADHD, right? Because we have this experience of 41 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:31,644 learning incredibly fast when we're interested in something. And 42 00:02:31,692 --> 00:02:35,372 when we learn that fast, we gain this expectation that we're 43 00:02:35,396 --> 00:02:38,772 just good at everything the first time we try. I can't tell you a single 44 00:02:38,836 --> 00:02:42,556 crafting hobby that I've ever had that took me a long time to learn because 45 00:02:42,588 --> 00:02:46,268 I was so interested in it. So much so that I will brag that my 46 00:02:46,364 --> 00:02:50,022 knitting teachers were really impressed with me, that I learned how to do, like, a 47 00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:53,502 cable knit with, like, minimal instruction and 48 00:02:53,686 --> 00:02:57,334 just like, kind of a glance over my work. I know you're super impressed. We're 49 00:02:57,382 --> 00:03:00,838 also incredibly good at avoiding stuff that we're bad at, 50 00:03:00,974 --> 00:03:04,742 right. If you're bad at something in your job, you tend to find the 51 00:03:04,766 --> 00:03:08,470 workaround for the workaround. For the workaround that will help you avoid doing that thing 52 00:03:08,510 --> 00:03:12,358 forever. Or, and this is true for many of us, I 53 00:03:12,374 --> 00:03:16,010 know there's always that one task that you're 54 00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:19,570 bad at enough that your manager or your coworkers are like, 55 00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:23,322 don't worry, we'll do this for you because you cannot be trusted to do this 56 00:03:23,346 --> 00:03:27,002 well, okay. There's something about you that you just can't handle this. And that's 57 00:03:27,026 --> 00:03:30,850 fine. You're good at other things. We will delegate this out to someone else. 58 00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:34,682 We do not have a great resilience to being bad at 59 00:03:34,706 --> 00:03:38,458 things. We don't have a great resilience to failing. So there are three 60 00:03:38,514 --> 00:03:42,346 tactics that I find really helpful. When you're trying to build your resilience 61 00:03:42,418 --> 00:03:45,730 to being bad at and move yourself away from that 62 00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:49,398 perfectionist mindset. And this serves you when you're starting a business. 63 00:03:49,454 --> 00:03:53,182 This serves you in jobs. This serves you in relationships. This serves you when you're 64 00:03:53,206 --> 00:03:56,982 trying to learn a hobby or how to do something like cooking. It 65 00:03:57,006 --> 00:04:00,694 serves you in the sports, which I have a little story about. And really, 66 00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:04,502 it's something that once you learn how to be bad at stuff, you actually 67 00:04:04,606 --> 00:04:08,454 become unstoppable. When you learn how to deal with that feeling of, 68 00:04:08,502 --> 00:04:12,158 oh, God, I'm failing. I'm actively failing, oh, no, I just failed again. And I 69 00:04:12,174 --> 00:04:14,566 failed again. And I failed again. People are going to know that I'm a massive 70 00:04:14,598 --> 00:04:18,166 failure. Once you learn how to be with that, nothing can stop you. 71 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:21,926 No judgment from other people will stop you. You're not going to freak 72 00:04:21,958 --> 00:04:25,726 yourself out about this not being good enough. You're going to become a 73 00:04:25,758 --> 00:04:28,410 powerhouse, to get whatever you want in this life. 74 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:33,702 Okay, so the number one most effective way 75 00:04:33,886 --> 00:04:37,614 to get good at failing is obvious. You have to fail 76 00:04:37,662 --> 00:04:41,126 on purpose. And when I say fail on purpose, I said this to a client 77 00:04:41,158 --> 00:04:44,048 the other day, and I was like, what's something that you are bad at? He's 78 00:04:44,064 --> 00:04:47,912 like, skydiving. And I was like, cool. That's not 79 00:04:47,936 --> 00:04:51,140 something you want to be bad at. So don't try to fail with skydiving. 80 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,872 Then he's like, skiing. And I was like, cool. It's summer. 81 00:04:58,056 --> 00:05:01,856 You can't practice being bad at skiing in the summer unless you really 82 00:05:01,888 --> 00:05:05,712 want to hurt yourself falling down a very rocky mountain. It's funny. 83 00:05:05,736 --> 00:05:08,760 When I asked him that question, I was expecting him to say something like 84 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:09,660 macrame 85 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:16,268 or speaking a language or something. I don't know. And, 86 00:05:16,364 --> 00:05:19,572 yeah, it didn't go the way I thought it would. So when I say this, 87 00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:23,340 I want you to think through what are the things that you can practice being 88 00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:26,996 bad at that won't end in a nice little memorial service for 89 00:05:27,028 --> 00:05:30,652 you or with you in the hospital? And disclaimer, anything that you 90 00:05:30,676 --> 00:05:34,308 do that gets you hurt is your responsibility. I take no ownership of that. As 91 00:05:34,364 --> 00:05:38,092 the host of the Weenie cast, this is all just for inspiration's 92 00:05:38,116 --> 00:05:41,684 sake. What it inspires you to do is hopefully something that keeps you safe. 93 00:05:41,772 --> 00:05:45,442 When you think about failing on purpose, I want you to pick something that is 94 00:05:45,506 --> 00:05:49,314 disparate from your work. It is not associated with the thing that you want 95 00:05:49,322 --> 00:05:52,602 to do for your business. Because what we don't want to start doing is we 96 00:05:52,626 --> 00:05:55,458 don't want to start creating a story that you suck at the thing that you 97 00:05:55,474 --> 00:05:59,306 want to do. We want to give you something that is in a 98 00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:03,138 complete other sphere where you get to practice 99 00:06:03,194 --> 00:06:04,710 just being bad at something. 100 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:11,042 If you listen to, like, one or two episodes of the Weenie cast, I bet 101 00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:14,308 you know that I know nothing about this. Sports. Half the time I start a 102 00:06:14,324 --> 00:06:17,876 metaphor that involves sports, and then I get confused halfway through. And then Neil has 103 00:06:17,908 --> 00:06:21,588 to go back and edit it so it sounds smart. It might surprise you to 104 00:06:21,604 --> 00:06:24,324 find out that I actually played tennis when I was a kid. And when I 105 00:06:24,332 --> 00:06:28,148 was in high school, I was not popular on my 106 00:06:28,164 --> 00:06:31,996 own tennis team because I didn't play to win. I didn't really care about 107 00:06:32,068 --> 00:06:35,892 the competition of it. I just played to have fun. And my tennis partner, 108 00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:39,650 Jackie Blut, got really, really frustrated with me, that 109 00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:43,002 I was trying to have fun with the other team and that I was being 110 00:06:43,026 --> 00:06:46,626 friendly with them. And I wasn't like out for blood, not my style. So anyway, 111 00:06:46,658 --> 00:06:50,170 so I quit the tennis team. I didn't really play. Gave up when I moved 112 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,858 cross country to California. My tennis racket was actually stolen out of my car in 113 00:06:53,874 --> 00:06:57,426 Tucson, Arizona, which of course, like I could have 114 00:06:57,458 --> 00:07:00,830 absolutely replaced it. But you know, I wasn't good at tennis. So 115 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,946 why, why? I don't even know why I brought a tennis racket in the first 116 00:07:03,978 --> 00:07:07,280 place. It's like, you know when you're traveling and you're like, oh, I'm going by 117 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:11,112 car. Throw it in the car, I might want it. Yeah. So I 118 00:07:11,136 --> 00:07:14,008 recently decided that I wanted to get back into tennis and so I signed up 119 00:07:14,024 --> 00:07:17,128 for a one on one class. No, I'm not good. No, I don't remember a 120 00:07:17,144 --> 00:07:20,624 whole lot. I'm not terrible. But it's been this really incredible experience 121 00:07:20,752 --> 00:07:24,536 going and doing something that I would expect myself to be better at 122 00:07:24,568 --> 00:07:28,200 because 20 years ago I was somewhat good at it. God, 123 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,912 I feel so old when I do math on when I how old I was 124 00:07:31,936 --> 00:07:35,778 in high school. That's so depressing. Sidebar. 125 00:07:35,874 --> 00:07:39,410 I went to this political event for the Massachusetts governor a few weeks ago 126 00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:42,258 and I walk into the event and I see one of the history teachers from 127 00:07:42,274 --> 00:07:46,122 my high school, Mister Dixon. And I was never in Mister Dixon's class, okay? 128 00:07:46,146 --> 00:07:48,986 So I'm not gonna bash him. I don't know his teaching style. He was never 129 00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:52,186 terrible to me. He was always super nice. He actually got me into rowing one 130 00:07:52,218 --> 00:07:55,794 summer, which was kind of fun. Great workout, by the way. Anyway, 131 00:07:55,882 --> 00:07:58,178 so I go up to him and I'm like, oh my God, mister Dixon, so 132 00:07:58,194 --> 00:08:00,974 great to see you. And he was like, oh my God, Katie, so great to 133 00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:03,254 see you too. And he's like, how old are you now? And I said, oh, 134 00:08:03,302 --> 00:08:06,926 I'm 36. And he's like, wow, you're so old. 135 00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:10,710 And I was just like, I'm old. 136 00:08:10,870 --> 00:08:14,166 That makes you ancient. So 137 00:08:14,318 --> 00:08:18,142 great. Anyway, how did I get there? Oh yeah, so anyway, the math on 138 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:21,590 high school. Yeah. So 20 years ago I was somewhat good at tennis. 139 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:25,022 Not good at anymore. But I'm on this mission to be bad 140 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,306 at. I'm on this mission to put myself in 141 00:08:28,338 --> 00:08:31,698 situations where I am going to 142 00:08:31,714 --> 00:08:35,450 fail in another way. I have signed up to take french lessons 143 00:08:35,490 --> 00:08:39,338 again. I was a french major. I lived in France for half a year so 144 00:08:39,354 --> 00:08:43,114 that I can learn the language. I really immersed myself. I passed their fluency exams 145 00:08:43,242 --> 00:08:46,714 and then I never spoke it again for 15 years, which again makes me feel 146 00:08:46,762 --> 00:08:50,394 very old. I recently started taking these classes online through this program 147 00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:54,184 called Lingoda, which if you're looking to learn a language, I can't recommend them enough. 148 00:08:54,282 --> 00:08:56,684 I wonder if I should sign up for a referral code if I'm sending you 149 00:08:56,692 --> 00:09:00,120 all to go there anyway. If you want to go to weeniecast.com 150 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:04,268 lingoda, I'll link it there because it is such a great resource if 151 00:09:04,284 --> 00:09:07,548 you're looking to learn a new language or brush up on a language that used 152 00:09:07,604 --> 00:09:11,164 to speak a long time ago. One of the things that I really, really 153 00:09:11,212 --> 00:09:15,052 liked about how they onboard you is that first lesson that you're signed up 154 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:18,444 for is an orientation. And in the orientation they 155 00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:21,830 like, make it the purpose to make 156 00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:25,606 errors, to make mistakes, right? Because it's really 157 00:09:25,638 --> 00:09:29,462 the only way that you learn a language is by saying something, 158 00:09:29,606 --> 00:09:33,374 thinking it's gonna make sense. Hearing someone say, I don't really know what 159 00:09:33,382 --> 00:09:37,206 you're talking about, or I think you're saying this, is that right? And 160 00:09:37,238 --> 00:09:40,918 then teasing it out with them until you figure out the exact right way to 161 00:09:40,934 --> 00:09:44,422 say the thing that you want to say. Could you imagine trying to learn a 162 00:09:44,446 --> 00:09:48,078 language and then getting all freaked out every single time that you make a 163 00:09:48,094 --> 00:09:51,518 mistake? And I know a lot of people try to learn a language and they 164 00:09:51,534 --> 00:09:55,206 get all freaked out about making mistakes. And yeah, you 165 00:09:55,238 --> 00:09:58,830 look stupid, like you probably say some stupid, 166 00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:02,798 but there's really like, you said stupid shit when you were a baby. Also, you 167 00:10:02,814 --> 00:10:06,518 said stupid things when you were a toddler, when you were learning your native tongue, 168 00:10:06,654 --> 00:10:10,462 right? And it wasn't that you were stupid or trying to be funny, it was 169 00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:14,178 that you genuinely were just misunderstanding how to use your own language. 170 00:10:14,334 --> 00:10:17,770 When I lived in France, I was in this immersive school that 171 00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:21,426 basically you had 5 hours of french lessons in the morning into the early afternoon, 172 00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:24,314 and then they would release you and you could go on all these excursions and 173 00:10:24,402 --> 00:10:27,442 you could live with a french family if you wanted or in like a student 174 00:10:27,506 --> 00:10:31,350 apartment. And I was in class with this australian woman. 175 00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:35,226 She and her husband had just moved to France and she was a nurse. She 176 00:10:35,258 --> 00:10:38,538 was like passing all of her licensing, getting all of her licenses so that she 177 00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:42,378 could be a nurse in France because they, you know, wanted to live there. And 178 00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:46,194 I remember we're in this class and the teacher asked us to explain 179 00:10:46,242 --> 00:10:49,970 what our dream for our future was. And we were going 180 00:10:50,010 --> 00:10:53,738 around the table and her thing was like, she's like, I want to 181 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:57,234 go and I want to nurse the whole world. But she translated 182 00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:01,082 wrong and what she actually said is, I want to go breastfeed 183 00:11:01,146 --> 00:11:04,850 the whole world. And the teacher was 184 00:11:04,890 --> 00:11:08,562 like, I don't know if that's what you want to. And I was, of 185 00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:11,786 course, next. Cause we're sitting next to each other, so we're laughing and we're just 186 00:11:11,818 --> 00:11:15,586 dying. And she's like, no, no, no. I don't wanna breastfeed anyone. It's fine. 187 00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:19,178 Like, I want to heal people. And then I was like, yeah, I wanna go, 188 00:11:19,194 --> 00:11:22,802 and I wanna have a lot of adventures around the world. And I used 189 00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:26,586 the word Les Avantur, which I thought meant adventures, just like 190 00:11:26,618 --> 00:11:30,466 in English. It doesn't. It doesn't. It means a lot of sexual 191 00:11:30,498 --> 00:11:34,206 encounters, which I just announced this to the whole class, 192 00:11:34,338 --> 00:11:38,166 and the teacher looked at me, she's like, this is what it means. Like, 193 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,942 no judgment. No judgment if that's what you want. But, like, I don't think that's 194 00:11:41,966 --> 00:11:45,486 what you meant. I was like, no, that's not what I meant. I meant adventures, 195 00:11:45,558 --> 00:11:49,030 like, do cool, go and see exciting 196 00:11:49,110 --> 00:11:52,902 things and have interesting stories. And she helped me figure it 197 00:11:52,926 --> 00:11:56,758 out. Throwing myself back into learning French again 198 00:11:56,814 --> 00:12:00,120 and throwing myself back into tennis again 199 00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:04,084 has really been eye opening for me, because I think one of 200 00:12:04,092 --> 00:12:07,900 the things that helped me be so successful so quickly in my business early on 201 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:11,492 is that I was fully down to fail. I was used to 202 00:12:11,516 --> 00:12:15,028 failing. I was all about it. Fail fast, fail 203 00:12:15,084 --> 00:12:18,844 forward all that jazz. And over time, I've 204 00:12:18,932 --> 00:12:22,740 moved away from it, because, like, once you start your business and you get 205 00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:26,308 good at it, you're just kind of used to being good at everything, you know? 206 00:12:26,324 --> 00:12:29,820 And I realize that there are a few things that I'm going to be doing 207 00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:33,604 in the next year that I'm probably going to be bad at. You know, 208 00:12:33,652 --> 00:12:36,852 there are a few business schools that I have that I've, like, never done before 209 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:40,700 and things that are way outside my comfort zone and, like, has 210 00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:44,628 massive opportunity for failure. And I realized that I was 211 00:12:44,684 --> 00:12:47,300 never going to be able to go and do those things if I didn't build 212 00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:50,880 my resilience to failure back up to where it used to be. 213 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:55,006 So I urge you, if 214 00:12:55,038 --> 00:12:58,038 you're thinking about starting a business, or if you're in the process of starting a 215 00:12:58,054 --> 00:13:01,566 business, or if you're in the process of scaling a business and 216 00:13:01,678 --> 00:13:05,318 there's opportunity for failure and you're afraid of it, 217 00:13:05,454 --> 00:13:08,422 which is pretty much everyone in the world except for sociopaths. So if you're afraid 218 00:13:08,446 --> 00:13:11,958 of it, congratulations, you're not a sociopath. I invite you 219 00:13:11,974 --> 00:13:15,734 to go and be at something. Pick something. Go 220 00:13:15,822 --> 00:13:19,212 actively be bad at it. Practice being bad. 221 00:13:19,396 --> 00:13:22,996 It's going to be absolutely life changing for you. And over time, 222 00:13:23,108 --> 00:13:26,532 when you really commit, you'll actually get good at it. Well, that's what I'm telling 223 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:30,372 myself with tennis. Well, it still remains to be seen, but I'm 224 00:13:30,396 --> 00:13:33,924 getting better at French, in case you were wondering. Now, the next thing you want 225 00:13:33,932 --> 00:13:37,468 to be very conscious of as you're actively being bad at stuff 226 00:13:37,564 --> 00:13:40,412 is, what am I going to say next? Well, you'll have to keep listening to 227 00:13:40,436 --> 00:13:43,930 find out. But first, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel. 228 00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:52,294 Now, the next thing you want to be very conscious of as you're 229 00:13:52,342 --> 00:13:56,038 actively being bad at stuff is correction, not punishment. 230 00:13:56,214 --> 00:14:00,022 So in french classes, when I say something wrong, the teacher corrects me, 231 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:03,974 and when I say something wrong, I try to correct myself. I look 232 00:14:04,022 --> 00:14:07,678 for the correction. I'm not, like, determined to always 233 00:14:07,734 --> 00:14:11,432 be perfect, right? Because that's not going to help anyone. If my friend, who 234 00:14:11,496 --> 00:14:15,008 was determined to be correct with her phrase saying that she wanted to breastfeed the 235 00:14:15,024 --> 00:14:18,696 whole world, could you imagine the conversation she'd have later in her 236 00:14:18,728 --> 00:14:22,280 career? Like, she'd probably be fired from the hospital that she got a job 237 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,928 at? They'd probably be like, I'm sorry, like, you can't do that with patients. And 238 00:14:25,944 --> 00:14:28,832 she'd be like, what do you mean? I can't nurse people? And they'd be like, 239 00:14:28,856 --> 00:14:32,576 no, it's so weird. Get out of here. Thinking she was planning 240 00:14:32,608 --> 00:14:36,302 on going up to patients and trying to BReastfeed them in tennis. So there 241 00:14:36,326 --> 00:14:38,926 was one day where I went, and I was, like, practicing tennis on my own, 242 00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:42,582 and. And how do you do this, you might ask? Well, there's machines that I'm 243 00:14:42,606 --> 00:14:46,182 sure you've seen in movies that basically have, like, a whole bunch of balls on 244 00:14:46,206 --> 00:14:49,782 top, and they shoot a ball out at you and you're supposed to just hit 245 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:53,010 it. And the point is to work on, like, one swing at a time. 246 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:57,358 And so I rented a court, and I rented this machine, 247 00:14:57,454 --> 00:15:00,830 and I go to my little tennis club that I'm a member of, 248 00:15:00,990 --> 00:15:04,646 and I was the only one on these three courts, right? So 249 00:15:04,678 --> 00:15:08,446 I'm the only one. I'm the center of attention. There's a wall where 250 00:15:08,518 --> 00:15:12,166 all the treadmills line up, and there's a window. So everyone who's on a treadmill 251 00:15:12,318 --> 00:15:15,990 up on the second floor of this gym is looking out, watching me, 252 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:19,790 because I'm the entertainment. It's a tennis club, so people like watching tennis. 253 00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:23,574 The first round the first 20 minutes, I was so 254 00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:27,318 angry, I was missing, like, the ball was hitting the same spot on the court 255 00:15:27,414 --> 00:15:31,142 over and over and over again, and I kept missing it. And every time I'd 256 00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:34,630 miss it, I'd be like, oh, my God, you suck. What's wrong with you? That's 257 00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:38,478 terrible. Oh, my God. That's awful. What are you doing? You 258 00:15:38,494 --> 00:15:42,286 know, I started just getting really tight and frustrated and angry with 259 00:15:42,318 --> 00:15:45,678 myself, and eventually the machine ran out of 260 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:49,510 balls. And so I went around with that stupid tube that you go around just, 261 00:15:49,550 --> 00:15:52,010 like, popping the balls inside and 262 00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:56,444 just being so angry with myself. And I realized, oh, my God. 263 00:15:56,582 --> 00:15:59,776 Me being angry with myself for doing this badly isn't 264 00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:03,544 helping. There's nothing about this process that's actually 265 00:16:03,592 --> 00:16:07,104 helping me get better. It's actually making me worse. I was hitting more balls in 266 00:16:07,112 --> 00:16:10,528 the beginning than I was at the end. And so as I'm collecting all the 267 00:16:10,544 --> 00:16:13,512 balls and putting them back in the machine, I made a deal with myself. It's 268 00:16:13,536 --> 00:16:17,352 like, okay, like, let's correct me rather than punish me. 269 00:16:17,496 --> 00:16:21,104 And so I filled up the machine again. I went back to the other 270 00:16:21,192 --> 00:16:24,978 side of the court. I hit the little remote control button, and I hit the 271 00:16:24,994 --> 00:16:28,498 first ball, and it was too long. And I just said, oh, too long to 272 00:16:28,514 --> 00:16:31,578 myself, you know, no one's around. And then I hit the next ball, and it 273 00:16:31,594 --> 00:16:34,810 was to the left. It went outside the court, oh, too far to the left, 274 00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:36,994 you know? And then I hit the next ball, and it was too far to 275 00:16:37,002 --> 00:16:39,882 the right. And then I hit the next ball, and I hit the net, and 276 00:16:39,906 --> 00:16:42,986 then I missed the next ball, and it's like, oh, you swung too late. Oh, 277 00:16:43,018 --> 00:16:46,226 this is the thing that you did wrong. Like, here's the action that you can 278 00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:49,922 make better. And what was miraculous, and actually, it's not 279 00:16:49,946 --> 00:16:53,794 miraculous, it makes perfect sense, was by the end of that next 280 00:16:53,842 --> 00:16:57,618 20 minutes session of the machine shooting balls at me. I was 281 00:16:57,634 --> 00:17:01,066 hitting every single ball by the end, and I was hitting 282 00:17:01,098 --> 00:17:04,842 balls most of the time where I wanted it to go, in the other 283 00:17:04,866 --> 00:17:08,498 side of the court. Side note, I should have switched hands. I 284 00:17:08,514 --> 00:17:12,230 couldn't use my right arm for about two days afterwards because 285 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:16,946 it's not normal in tennis that you just spend, like, 40 minutes straight just hitting 286 00:17:16,978 --> 00:17:20,762 with one arm the exact same swing. So next time, I will go 287 00:17:20,786 --> 00:17:24,266 back and forth. But I'm so glad I learned this lesson, because it really helped 288 00:17:24,298 --> 00:17:27,938 me understand how I learned best and helped 289 00:17:27,954 --> 00:17:31,778 me coach my clients on how to be good at failing in 290 00:17:31,794 --> 00:17:35,202 a way that they learned from it. And don't just create a story that they 291 00:17:35,226 --> 00:17:38,802 suck at everything. So I urge you, like, as you're being bad at 292 00:17:38,826 --> 00:17:42,270 stuff, correct yourself. Don't punish yourself. 293 00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:49,218 The final thing that I want to offer, as you're working on 294 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,954 your perfectionism, as you are leaning into 295 00:17:53,002 --> 00:17:56,514 failing, because so many of us have this 296 00:17:56,562 --> 00:18:00,178 idea of how perfect looks like, but it's also just not like a 297 00:18:00,234 --> 00:18:04,042 firm idea. I'm in the midst of redoing my website right now, and 298 00:18:04,066 --> 00:18:06,098 actually, this is one of those moments where I'm like, oh, my God, I need 299 00:18:06,114 --> 00:18:09,482 to be taking my own advice because I'm designing it 300 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:12,906 and I'm realizing, like, oh, my God, it's not exactly how I want it, but 301 00:18:12,938 --> 00:18:16,262 how I want it is just perfect. There's no specific 302 00:18:16,366 --> 00:18:19,998 idea I have of what perfect looks like. The mentality 303 00:18:20,054 --> 00:18:23,798 we want to adopt when we're in the middle of a project that's actually going 304 00:18:23,814 --> 00:18:27,478 to impact our business is we want to look at what would half ass 305 00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:31,270 look like. Because oftentimes half assed is more 306 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:34,570 than enough. Half assed is done, 307 00:18:35,270 --> 00:18:39,030 whereas waiting for perfect is never done. Because perfect 308 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:42,868 is a moving target. Perfect will never happen. One of 309 00:18:42,884 --> 00:18:46,196 the great questions that artists get asked is, when do you know that your painting 310 00:18:46,228 --> 00:18:49,228 is finished and a lot of them can't tell you. A lot of them are 311 00:18:49,244 --> 00:18:53,076 like, eh, like, eh. You just kind of like, you know, 312 00:18:53,108 --> 00:18:56,348 have to be okay with it. And the cool thing about doing something half 313 00:18:56,404 --> 00:18:59,828 assed is that you get to be with it for a while and you get 314 00:18:59,844 --> 00:19:02,868 to see, okay, cool. What do I want to correct here? What do I want 315 00:19:02,884 --> 00:19:06,550 to correct? Instead of punishing yourself for not being perfect, for instance, 316 00:19:06,590 --> 00:19:09,590 with my website, I could say, oh, you know, I don't really like how this 317 00:19:09,630 --> 00:19:13,278 drop down menu goes. Maybe I should change it the next time I 318 00:19:13,294 --> 00:19:16,718 redo my website. I can do this, this, and this differently, but in the 319 00:19:16,734 --> 00:19:20,126 meantime, I still have a website to send to people. I still have a place 320 00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:23,966 for people to discover me and to find out more about me and to hopefully 321 00:19:23,998 --> 00:19:27,250 scare some people away who aren't my ideal clients. 322 00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:31,334 And I would like to just say something to the family members of 323 00:19:31,382 --> 00:19:35,150 my listeners, those of you who may have adhd also or who are 324 00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:38,886 neurotypical. I just want to apologize in advance for 325 00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:42,126 all the hobbies that are about to come into your house that 326 00:19:42,278 --> 00:19:45,830 your loved one who listens to this podcast is about to take 327 00:19:45,870 --> 00:19:49,286 on, who is about to be really bad at who's going to get 328 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:53,086 frustrated with it. Yeah, my heart goes out to you. I hope you 329 00:19:53,118 --> 00:19:56,854 understand this is for the greater good. You're a loved one. Learning to 330 00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:00,340 be bad at stuff and maybe developing some more hyper 331 00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:03,484 focuses and getting more hobby 332 00:20:03,612 --> 00:20:07,156 supplies and things like that will make them better 333 00:20:07,228 --> 00:20:10,948 able to start a business in the future, which hopefully makes them super rich. And 334 00:20:10,964 --> 00:20:14,708 then you can retire. Right? And you can just, like, 335 00:20:14,844 --> 00:20:18,620 be taken care of. Hopefully. If it doesn't work out that way, 336 00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:22,252 not my problem. I'm sorry. I invite you. If you're committed to being bad at 337 00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:26,058 something, I would love to hear what you're committed to being bad at. If you 338 00:20:26,074 --> 00:20:29,218 want to get in touch with me on the socials, you can find me on 339 00:20:29,274 --> 00:20:33,110 Instagram at Katie the coach 340 00:20:33,570 --> 00:20:36,858 or on TikTok at Katie 341 00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:40,402 KDHD. You see what I did 342 00:20:40,426 --> 00:20:44,002 there? Or if you're listening to this on Spotify, then you can go 343 00:20:44,026 --> 00:20:47,470 ahead and leave a comment for us. And I can't wait to see it. 344 00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:54,634 Oui, je enfin frapper la putin bal quin's 345 00:20:54,682 --> 00:20:58,024 amouritevere. Ha. Squirrel, 346 00:20:58,112 --> 00:20:59,680 squirrel, squirrel, squirrel.