[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to another episode of Unleashing Brilliance. I'm thrilled you're tuning in today because we're diving into one of the biggest myths of modern life,

Janine: work-life balance

for years, this idea has been sold to us as the ultimate key to happiness, that [00:01:00] perfect, 50 50 split between work and life.

But let me ask you this. When was the last time your life actually felt balanced? If you're anything like me, or let's be honest, anyone living in the 21st century, it probably hasn't, never has. And that's not because you're doing something wrong. It's because balance is a myth

today, we're going to talk about why balance doesn't work, why chasing it leaves us exhausted and frustrated, and most importantly, what you can do instead.

So let's get started. I want to start by sharing the story around the chaos that broke the myth for me. I want to take you back to a particularly chaotic week in my life. In the early days of building my own business, I had a major client presentation looming. One of those big ones that [00:02:00] needed my absolute focus. You know, one of those where I wanted to do a really good job.

I knew it was going to lead to bigger things. It was the first time I was doing a particular project or a particular presentation, so it required a lot of design work. At the same time, my youngest child was home. He was sick with the flu and my teenager had an exam the next day and needed my help studying.

All I can remember is that day being an absolute blur of early morning emails, midday doctor visits, and late night algebra. And by Friday night, I was. Physically and emotionally spent. I remember collapsing on the couch, feeling exhausted and drowning in guilt. I, why couldn't I get it together? I remember thinking that why does, why does everyone else seem to manage this better than I do?

But here's the thing that I learned. I wasn't failing at all. Balance was [00:03:00] failing me. Here's the thing about balance. It assumes that life is calm, predictable, and orderly. But life is none of those things. Life is messy, it's unpredictable, it's full of You know, we've all been there, haven't we?

One moment, you're fine. fully focused on work. And then the next you're rushing to pick up your child who's unexpectedly fallen ill or had an accident at school or that carefully planned schedule is derailed by an urgent meeting, a last minute crisis, or just the relentless demands of daily life. And yet we continue to chase this idea of balance.

We wear busy like a badge of honor. It's become that default answer to the question, how are you doing? I'm so busy. We say it like it's something to be proud of. it's the absolute antithesis of this chase for balance. But let me tell you, [00:04:00] being busy is just an excuse. And when we say we're just too busy, we're deflecting responsibility for our own choices. We're actually giving control of our time to other people's demands. And let's be honest, that is not balance. It's absolutely a road to burnout. So the question is, what is the alternative? And for me, the answer was to quit worrying about work- life balance and instead be intentional about work life integration

integration for me is about alignment, not perfection. It's about recognizing that work and life aren't two opposing forces battling for your attention, but instead that they're interconnected and that they can actually complement each other if we approach them with empathy. One of the biggest shifts I made was letting go of compartmentalization, letting go of the [00:05:00] idea that work and life should be kept in separate rigid boxes.

Instead, what I started doing was looking at my life as this beautiful mosaic, a blend of roles and responsibilities and passions that can coexist. For example, I started answering client emails during my son's rugby practice. While he was out there practicing, whatever the moves or the plays were for the weekend, I was sat in the car, often in the rain.

And that was when I would start answering my emails. I wasn't ignoring him. I was actually using the time I had in a way that worked for me. And because I wasn't stressed about my inbox, I could be more present with him after practice. I could engage with him after practice in terms of what he'd learned, what he discovered, what he wanted to work harder at.

What are the things that they were going to do that weekend in the game? You see, integration isn't necessarily about multitasking [00:06:00] or doing everything at once. It's actually about I think finding harmony in the overlap. Another game changer for me was starting to embrace the idea that life happens in seasons.

Some seasons do demand more from work, like when you're chasing that big career milestone, or you might have a major project with tight deadlines. One classic one for me there was getting a book manuscript ready according to the publisher's deadlines. It required a lot of focus and a lot of work. But then again, there are other seasons that require more focus on home, on health, or even rest and recovery. Successful people don't strive for this constant balance.

They adapt to the rhythm of life with intention and grace. And for me, this concept of seasons has been key as to how I structure my year. And it's something I've been refining since my kids were little. When I first started my business, I remember having this vision, and it was [00:07:00] to eventually take all the school holidays off.

So I could be fully present with my family. In fact, many of my clients now come to me because this is the very thing that they are trying to build a business and a life by design where they can take that time off their school holidays off to spend with their kids. And I remember that being one of my early goals.

Goals. But in the early days, it was impossible. You know, like many of you, I had bills to pay and I had goals that I needed to achieve to be able to get to that point of having goals to pay, to start making some profit. And so what I did is I built my business with the ultimate goal in mind and I worked toward it gradually.

In those early days, I worked hard during the school term and I slowed down during the holidays. I couldn't take the whole school break off, but I absolutely could scale back the hours significantly. So I'd work shorter days or I'd even take [00:08:00] every alternate day off and That then expanded to a week off entirely.

And over time, as my business grew, I got closer to my vision and I remember moving to taking the entire school holidays off and going, Oh my gosh, I've got that, this is amazing. And it was that cadence of work, the on off the seasonality that enabled me to get there. This wasn't something that just magically happened.

It was a conscious, strategic choice. I stretched my year with this rhythm in mind, and I knew what I wanted and I built my business to support that. And it's not just entrepreneurs who can embrace this seasonal mindset. One of my corporate clients, a corporate executive in a major property company that I was working with, we worked together to design this similar cadence for her work life. Every 90 days she'd schedule a long weekend away with her partner just the two of them [00:09:00] and that became her reset button. She'd work intensely during the quarter knowing that the break was coming. And when it came, she fully disconnected from work, she reconnected with her partner, and she came back recharged and ready for that next cycle.

Now, if taking big chunks of time off feels impossible right now, what about thinking about micro resets

not every break has to be a week long vacation. Could you, for example, take 10 minutes out of your day for a walk, some meditation during your lunch break, step outside, get some fresh air, maybe block an hour each week to read, to journal, to simply unplug these tiny micro moments.

These micro resets of recovery can add up like compound interest, helping you recharge over time to show up fully in moments that matter. Life isn't about doing [00:10:00] everything all the time. It's about being intentional with your energy and your focus, adapting to the season that you're in and designing a rhythm that works for you.

Now, this brings me to one of my favorite learning based on the metaphor from Nora Roberts, this learning around glass and plastic balls. She said some balls in life are made of glass and others are made of plastic. And if you drop a plastic ball, it bounces. But if you drop a glass ball, it shatters. Now this idea, this concept was a game changer for me.

It's about knowing which balls are glass, the ones that truly mattered and therefore can't be dropped, and which ones are plastic, the ones that can bounce if they need to. A few years ago, I attended Harvard and while there, I met Dr. Michael Perry and I actually interviewed him on this podcast. You can find it a few years ago.

And if you search Dr. Michael Perry, you'll be able to find it. It was such a great conversation. Anyway, Dr. Michael [00:11:00] Perry is a retired army, Lieutenant Colonel, and he's a leadership coach, and he shared a story with me that illustrates this concept of glass and plastic balls perfectly. He shares this moment where he was working in his office and he was focused on work.

You know, we've all had it where we're focused at our computer, head down in that moment of really trying to get whatever it is that we're trying to do from a work perspective. And his daughter came in to talk to him. He nodded and smiled as she was speaking, but his attention wasn't on what she was saying.

It was actually still on the computer. And then it hit him. He wasn't listening at all. Dr. Perry later reflected, how many moments have I missed because I was so enthralled in what I was doing that I became distracted from what was truly important. That moment was a wake up call for him. And I'll be really honest when he shared that it was a wake up call for me.

[00:12:00] He committed at that time to becoming fully present. And he said, whoever I'm with deserves everything I have in that moment. Otherwise I'm doing them a disservice. Everything I have in that moment. people deserve in that moment. Otherwise I'm doing them a disservice. Hmm. How often do we let distractions pull us away from the people and the moments that truly matter?

How many glass balls are we actually letting slip through our fingers? Because maybe we're focusing and spending way too much time on those plastic balls. So how do we embrace integration into our daily lives? Here are a couple of practical tips I want you to think about, over the course of today and the rest of the week.

First one, identify your glass balls. I want you to be really honest about what truly matters right now. [00:13:00] Right here in this very moment and focus your energy there. Identify those glass balls. Number two, honor the season that you're in right now. Give yourself permission to shift your focus as needed based on the season that you are in.

Number three, and you'll have heard me talk about this many times. Say no more. Often, every single yes that you say comes with a cost. Every yes costs you in time, in focus, in energy, in cash, in impact on profit. Every single yes comes at a cost. So be mindful what you are saying. Yes to, and say no more often, by the way, this one saying no more often, as an aside is actually one of my big intentions [00:14:00] for this year, really focusing my yeses on the very things that I'm committed to achieving this year.

Next one, be fully present. Let's take a lesson from Dr. Michael Perry. Whether you're at work or with family. Give them your full attention in that moment. And finally, I want you to schedule micro resets. Think about small intentional breaks that can make a big difference in how you show up each day.

Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of Unleashing Brilliance. I hope this conversation today has sparked something in you, whether it's that realization that Balance maybe isn't the goal or the inspiration to start creating a life of integration that truly works for you. I'm all about life and business by design.

Now, before we wrap up, I wanted to leave you with one critical piece of advice. Please be [00:15:00] kind to yourself. Nobody's life looks the same as anyone else's. We are all doing our absolute best, but your life is unique to you. What integration looks like for you might be completely different from what it looks like for me or for anyone else in your world.

And that, my friends, is okay. This is your life. This is your rhythm. This is your journey. Some days you're going to absolutely nail it. And other days you're gonna feel like it's a whole heap of a mess. That's not failure, it is life. Give yourself the grace to learn, to adapt, to grow as you figure out what works for you.

So here's my challenge for you. Take a moment today, maybe right after this episode, grab your journal, pull out a pen, look at your diary, schedule some micro moments, whatever it is, and ask [00:16:00] yourself, what does business and life by design look like for me? What does integration look like for me? What's one small step I can take this week to align my work and my life more intentionally?

Remember, this isn't about doing everything perfectly. It's about showing up in the moments that matter. It's about letting go of what doesn't. And it's about giving yourself permission to thrive in the season. that you're in. And don't forget the power of small, consistent action. Maybe it's scheduling that long weekend you've been putting off, saying no to one more thing on your plate, or simply stepping outside for a breath of fresh air.

Small steps lead to big shifts. If this episode has resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear what has resonated, what action you've taken. I'd love to hear [00:17:00] your thoughts. Please reach out to me on social media, send me a message, email me. I'd love to hear what does integration mean to you.

And let's keep this conversation going. If there's anyone in your world that you feel would, benefit from listening to this episode, please share the link. Please comment below. Please leave a review because I truly believe that the more we share, the more we all grow. If you found this episode helpful, make sure you share it with someone that needs to hear it.

Maybe it's a colleague who's struggling with burnout, a friend who feels like they're constantly juggling or a partner. Who's looking for better rhythm in life. And if you haven't already hit the subscribe, please hit the subscribe because I don't want you to miss any episodes of Unleashing Brilliance and the while you're at it, I'd love you to leave a review.

It helps more people find this podcast and join our journey towards living intentionally, living brilliantly, and living a life and business by design. [00:18:00] Remember life isn't about chasing balance. It's about embracing integration. honoring your season and showing up as your best self, whether that's at work or at home or someone in between.

Be kind to yourself. You've got this. And until next week, please stay intentional, stay present, and as always stay brilliant.