1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,510 If you are stuck in a dorsal vagal shutdown, you probably need to hear a 2 00:00:04,510 --> 00:00:10,179 little bit of positivity or encouragement, not just from me, but from other people 3 00:00:10,179 --> 00:00:11,469 who know what you're going through. 4 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:16,230 In this episode, I'm going to share with you the final parts or portion of 5 00:00:16,289 --> 00:00:19,119 my Shutdown Experiences Survey results. 6 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:22,900 If you haven't seen the other ones, I invite you to pause this and go 7 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,810 watch the rest of this playlist. 8 00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:28,625 I'll have a link for you in the description, uh, for a playlist to the 9 00:00:28,645 --> 00:00:31,345 audio and the YouTube version of this. 10 00:00:31,355 --> 00:00:32,575 So let's listen to those first. 11 00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:34,914 And especially if you don't know what Dorsal Vagal Shutdown is, this is 12 00:00:34,915 --> 00:00:36,405 like not the place for you to begin. 13 00:00:37,024 --> 00:00:41,104 Uh, but this, the point here is to hear from other people who are currently 14 00:00:41,104 --> 00:00:47,015 in shutdown and words of encouragement or other thoughts that they have. 15 00:00:47,065 --> 00:00:48,585 Hey, I am Justin Sunseri. 16 00:00:48,605 --> 00:00:51,555 I'm a therapist and coach who wants to help you live with more 17 00:00:51,555 --> 00:00:55,705 calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo woo. 18 00:00:56,211 --> 00:00:57,651 Welcome to Stuck Not Broken. 19 00:00:57,651 --> 00:01:00,821 This is of course not therapy, nor is it intended to replace therapy, 20 00:01:00,821 --> 00:01:02,381 nor is it specific life advice. 21 00:01:05,464 --> 00:01:09,254 So I did this thing called the Shutdown Experiences Survey a long 22 00:01:09,254 --> 00:01:14,214 time ago and I finally am wrapping it up with, with this episode where the 23 00:01:14,214 --> 00:01:17,844 people who shared their experiences about shutdown and how it affects 24 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:20,664 their daily life and their thoughts, their emotions, their relationships. 25 00:01:21,404 --> 00:01:24,964 Now they're going to provide, well, this is what, here's, here's some 26 00:01:24,964 --> 00:01:29,114 words I have for you, the Dear Listener who is in shutdown also. 27 00:01:29,709 --> 00:01:33,149 As a, an aside, but also just sort of a setup for where I'm at, 28 00:01:33,149 --> 00:01:34,509 I just walked my son to school. 29 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:36,074 It is foggy. 30 00:01:36,084 --> 00:01:39,684 It is a little bit rainy, uh, recently and even this morning was raining. 31 00:01:40,424 --> 00:01:41,714 It's a little bit dark still. 32 00:01:41,714 --> 00:01:43,294 It's very much overcast. 33 00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:46,714 And you know, there's a chill in the air and I still feel it on my skin. 34 00:01:46,714 --> 00:01:47,514 I got my beanie on. 35 00:01:47,514 --> 00:01:48,494 I got my sweater on. 36 00:01:48,994 --> 00:01:52,004 And to me, this is like perfect shutdown weather. 37 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:55,984 This weather tells us go indoors and be warm. 38 00:01:56,359 --> 00:01:59,519 And maybe have a loved one there, but being alone is okay too. 39 00:02:00,059 --> 00:02:02,369 To me, this is perfect for shutdown. 40 00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:06,229 So that's kind of the setup here in case you're listening and can't see me. 41 00:02:06,279 --> 00:02:07,139 I got my beanie on. 42 00:02:07,139 --> 00:02:08,349 I'm feeling warm and I love it. 43 00:02:08,349 --> 00:02:11,844 The last three questions I asked are Is there anything else about your 44 00:02:11,844 --> 00:02:13,184 experience that you want to share? 45 00:02:13,614 --> 00:02:18,704 Uh, do you have any feedback, survey feedback and personal message? 46 00:02:18,744 --> 00:02:20,704 If you could share a message with someone else experiencing 47 00:02:20,704 --> 00:02:22,434 shutdown, what would you say? 48 00:02:22,494 --> 00:02:25,754 Your words could offer comfort advice or encouragement to someone in need. 49 00:02:26,234 --> 00:02:27,824 So that's what this is addressing. 50 00:02:27,824 --> 00:02:31,104 And really the first and last ones, uh, any other information and what 51 00:02:31,104 --> 00:02:32,344 words of encouragement do you have? 52 00:02:32,604 --> 00:02:34,244 We'll start off with a touch of humor. 53 00:02:34,644 --> 00:02:40,664 Daisy, who's been in shutdown for 11 to 20 years says, hang in there. 54 00:02:40,934 --> 00:02:42,264 with a picture of a sloth. 55 00:02:42,274 --> 00:02:44,144 So, you know what that image is. 56 00:02:44,144 --> 00:02:48,954 It's the image of a sloth hanging from a branch and the words are Hang in there. 57 00:02:49,214 --> 00:02:49,984 Little bit of humor. 58 00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,214 If you're in Shutdown, you'll get it. 59 00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:57,344 The next person, Helene, who's been, sounds like has who's a couple of bouts of 60 00:02:57,344 --> 00:03:05,289 Shutdown, has been in Shutdown for 11 to 30 years, somewhere in that span says, "I 61 00:03:05,289 --> 00:03:10,119 think the feeling of shame over being shut down is one of the biggest issues for me." 62 00:03:10,119 --> 00:03:13,469 So this is more addressing the, do you have any other thoughts? 63 00:03:14,739 --> 00:03:17,849 She says, I think the feeling of shame over being shut down is 64 00:03:17,859 --> 00:03:19,439 one of the biggest issues for me. 65 00:03:20,009 --> 00:03:24,999 I now understand what's going on, but I've been so ashamed for so very long. 66 00:03:25,309 --> 00:03:29,909 Ashamed for not being able to perform at the level that I knew I was capable. 67 00:03:30,539 --> 00:03:32,549 For being constantly late for everything. 68 00:03:32,929 --> 00:03:36,779 For not being able to do more to make others happy. 69 00:03:36,789 --> 00:03:37,629 And the list goes on. 70 00:03:37,629 --> 00:03:38,359 So shame. 71 00:03:38,734 --> 00:03:40,904 and shutdown go hand in hand for Helene. 72 00:03:40,914 --> 00:03:43,644 And I think that's probably common. 73 00:03:44,134 --> 00:03:48,304 Uh, the level of shaming that you get from others, like you're not good 74 00:03:48,304 --> 00:03:53,034 enough, uh, for someone in shutdown or pretty much any stuck defensive state. 75 00:03:53,044 --> 00:03:54,734 Yeah, that probably goes hand in hand, I think. 76 00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:57,154 People telling you that you're not good enough, you're not doing good enough. 77 00:03:57,854 --> 00:04:02,124 And part of that is we might recognize, well, yeah, like, I know, "I know 78 00:04:02,124 --> 00:04:06,274 I'm capable of doing more, so I agree that maybe I'm not doing enough," 79 00:04:06,304 --> 00:04:09,854 whatever the context is, but also, "yeah, maybe I'm not good enough." 80 00:04:10,614 --> 00:04:13,464 I think that can easily go along with, with shutdown. 81 00:04:14,144 --> 00:04:18,574 Let's remind ourselves, though, that what you accomplish is an aspect 82 00:04:18,574 --> 00:04:23,129 of who you are in a way, but it's um, it's not all of who you are. 83 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:26,389 Being in shutdown is an aspect of who you are, or maybe your 84 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,429 present day autonomic state. 85 00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:34,849 So that kind of is very dominant in who you are, but there is more to who you are. 86 00:04:35,129 --> 00:04:38,619 And maybe it's not coming out right now because the shutdown is so prevalent. 87 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,229 But it's not, you're not just shut down. 88 00:04:41,259 --> 00:04:42,619 There, there is more to you. 89 00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:46,159 Hopefully over time we see the shutdown alleviate, especially 90 00:04:46,159 --> 00:04:47,489 as you're practicing safety. 91 00:04:49,029 --> 00:04:51,819 So I guess it's just for now, it's a good idea to remind yourself that 92 00:04:51,819 --> 00:04:56,159 yeah, there is more to you and it will come out as this shutdown alleviates. 93 00:04:56,159 --> 00:05:00,189 Helene also says to you, dear listener, that I would tell them that 94 00:05:00,189 --> 00:05:02,069 shutdown is nothing to be ashamed of. 95 00:05:02,619 --> 00:05:03,999 It's how your body is protecting you. 96 00:05:04,109 --> 00:05:06,459 It's actually a gift, even though it rarely feels that way. 97 00:05:07,039 --> 00:05:09,819 When you learn to work with it, it can be your guide to a 98 00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:12,259 richer and more fulfilling life. 99 00:05:12,619 --> 00:05:16,669 So Helene recognizes that even though she has a lot of shame with her shutdown, 100 00:05:16,679 --> 00:05:21,679 that being in shutdown in and of itself is not something to be ashamed of 101 00:05:21,679 --> 00:05:23,059 and I completely agree with Helene. 102 00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:25,239 It's simply a state of the body. 103 00:05:25,239 --> 00:05:26,549 It's an autonomic state. 104 00:05:26,969 --> 00:05:31,079 That we exist in not randomly, but probably due to the context of our 105 00:05:31,079 --> 00:05:35,519 life, some prior context, like the past, or maybe a current context. 106 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,979 There's something that we don't feel safe in, can't run away from can't fight off, 107 00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:47,654 and so the last result or last, um, option -sequential option- is to shut down. 108 00:05:47,754 --> 00:05:48,964 Our body collapses. 109 00:05:48,964 --> 00:05:49,874 It goes numb. 110 00:05:49,954 --> 00:05:50,854 We disconnect. 111 00:05:51,594 --> 00:05:52,774 So it's a survival strategy. 112 00:05:52,874 --> 00:05:55,744 It's an autonomic evolutionary survival strategy. 113 00:05:55,744 --> 00:05:58,034 It's not something that we like to do and choose to do. 114 00:05:58,034 --> 00:06:02,504 It just is our, our body's last option to deal with whatever it's dealing with. 115 00:06:02,504 --> 00:06:04,814 So in that context, like, yeah, it's not something to be ashamed of. 116 00:06:04,814 --> 00:06:07,314 It's oh, like, there's a reason it makes sense. 117 00:06:07,344 --> 00:06:08,124 Like I'm normal. 118 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,874 My, my autonomic state is normal based on the context of my life. 119 00:06:12,494 --> 00:06:14,324 And if you can do that, like, that's a really good sign. 120 00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:18,344 If you can validate your shutdown, just acknowledge it and then normalize it. 121 00:06:19,134 --> 00:06:22,094 And the next step after that would be, well, can you give yourself 122 00:06:22,124 --> 00:06:23,214 permission to be in shutdown? 123 00:06:23,214 --> 00:06:25,574 Actually, and actually Helene kind of touched upon that. 124 00:06:26,004 --> 00:06:27,574 She says, when you learn to work with it. 125 00:06:27,934 --> 00:06:30,074 So, can you give yourself permission to be in shutdown? 126 00:06:30,604 --> 00:06:33,854 Which means, can you give yourself permission to reduce stimulation? 127 00:06:33,984 --> 00:06:34,754 Maybe be alone? 128 00:06:35,504 --> 00:06:36,484 Turn lights down? 129 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:37,984 Bundle up in warmth? 130 00:06:38,674 --> 00:06:40,994 Can you give yourself permission to be in silence? 131 00:06:42,024 --> 00:06:44,394 So, that is how you work with it. 132 00:06:44,394 --> 00:06:46,614 You listen to what your body needs and you provide it. 133 00:06:47,224 --> 00:06:50,364 Now, isolating in the dark and cutting people off from your life, like, 134 00:06:50,464 --> 00:06:52,854 no, that's not exactly what I mean. 135 00:06:53,554 --> 00:06:57,404 That's, um, isolation is different than solitude. 136 00:06:57,904 --> 00:06:59,894 And shutdown solitude is probably a really good idea. 137 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,234 Isolation, probably not. 138 00:07:01,874 --> 00:07:05,934 So can you give yourself at least moments of solitude where you give 139 00:07:05,934 --> 00:07:08,434 yourself your feelings, you feel what you feel, you don't distract yourself 140 00:07:08,434 --> 00:07:13,484 with Tik TOK and Instagram and YouTube videos like this, but you truly just let 141 00:07:13,484 --> 00:07:20,254 yourself feel shut down and then allow your body to self regulate out of it. 142 00:07:20,434 --> 00:07:22,214 Not easy, but that is the general idea. 143 00:07:22,694 --> 00:07:26,204 So can you work with it and settle into stillness? 144 00:07:26,224 --> 00:07:30,804 Like today, uh, I was describing today's cold and foggy and overcast. 145 00:07:30,844 --> 00:07:35,954 This is a really good day if you're in shutdown to embrace that, to embrace 146 00:07:37,014 --> 00:07:42,814 solitude and warmth and reduce stimulation while watching the rain outside. 147 00:07:42,864 --> 00:07:46,074 Charlotte says, I don't think I'd call it insight that she's giving. 148 00:07:46,444 --> 00:07:49,094 I don't think I'd call it insight, but recently I've noticed that I can quite 149 00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:54,714 strongly long for a shutdown state, especially when I'm in a freeze state, 150 00:07:55,544 --> 00:07:57,194 but also when I'm in flight fight. 151 00:07:58,009 --> 00:08:00,569 They stretch me out so much that I crave the numbness and 152 00:08:00,569 --> 00:08:02,309 disconnection of shutdown somehow. 153 00:08:02,909 --> 00:08:07,239 I'm not quite sure how this works within me, but I can imagine that more people, 154 00:08:07,249 --> 00:08:11,609 especially with trauma, feel this craving toward the shutdown state sometimes. 155 00:08:12,289 --> 00:08:13,639 Yeah, Charlotte, I think you're right. 156 00:08:14,229 --> 00:08:20,459 The, whatever autonomic state that we're in becomes predictable. 157 00:08:21,019 --> 00:08:24,279 I mean, whatever, um, stuck autonomic state that we have, even the defensive 158 00:08:24,279 --> 00:08:26,599 ones, they become predictable. 159 00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:30,394 They become, in a sense, Not really comforting, but predictable. 160 00:08:30,404 --> 00:08:32,334 Like we, we, we know what to expect. 161 00:08:32,674 --> 00:08:33,884 There's no surprises there. 162 00:08:35,154 --> 00:08:39,404 As we self regulate out of those states, well, all of a sudden 163 00:08:39,794 --> 00:08:41,304 things are, are, are different. 164 00:08:41,844 --> 00:08:47,514 As we come out of shutdown, which is disconnected and slower and alone, and 165 00:08:47,514 --> 00:08:51,064 now we're in flight fight, and all of a sudden we have this surge of fight 166 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:55,314 activation, we feel more aggressive and irritable and angry, that's different. 167 00:08:55,314 --> 00:08:56,204 And it feels wrong. 168 00:08:56,214 --> 00:08:58,044 And it feels like we're doing something wrong and it feels like 169 00:08:58,044 --> 00:08:58,819 there's something wrong with us. 170 00:08:59,769 --> 00:09:01,549 It's not the way things, it's not how we are. 171 00:09:01,589 --> 00:09:02,719 I'm not this person. 172 00:09:02,849 --> 00:09:04,309 I am a person who does this. 173 00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:05,459 I'm not a person who does this. 174 00:09:05,539 --> 00:09:06,879 I'm not a person who thinks this way. 175 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:07,889 I'm a person who thinks that way. 176 00:09:09,059 --> 00:09:12,299 But the reality is that, well, you're a person who has the potential to 177 00:09:12,299 --> 00:09:15,859 think this way and that way and to feel this way and that way. 178 00:09:17,459 --> 00:09:21,049 So yeah, I don't think you're alone in this whatsoever, uh, Charlotte. 179 00:09:21,049 --> 00:09:26,169 As we self regulate out of any stuck state, it feels different. 180 00:09:26,179 --> 00:09:30,119 And different is not necessarily good. 181 00:09:30,119 --> 00:09:35,644 Uh, or at least experientially, it's not necessarily invited or, or welcome. 182 00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:39,914 Uh, we get comfort and predictability from what we know. 183 00:09:39,934 --> 00:09:43,474 And so we might consciously want to go back to that place, even 184 00:09:43,474 --> 00:09:45,084 though we know it's not ideal. 185 00:09:45,104 --> 00:09:48,754 Charlotte wants to add this for you, dear listener, who's also stuck in shutdown. 186 00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:53,494 She says Try to identify what shutdown feels like and looks like for you, 187 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:58,484 and then allow yourself to give into the shutdown tendencies instead of 188 00:09:58,844 --> 00:10:02,334 fighting it because it's not what you're supposed to feel or act like. 189 00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:07,204 For me, at least allowing myself to be in shutdown has opened a door to 190 00:10:07,204 --> 00:10:12,569 gently ease out of shutdown toward a safety state instead of getting 191 00:10:12,569 --> 00:10:15,599 stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. 192 00:10:16,129 --> 00:10:20,169 Yeah, it touches upon, I think, exactly what I said that instead of fighting 193 00:10:20,169 --> 00:10:26,849 it because it's not how you are or are not supposed to be, uh, embrace it. 194 00:10:27,404 --> 00:10:29,594 Shutdown has a function. 195 00:10:29,774 --> 00:10:31,204 It evolved within us for a reason. 196 00:10:31,204 --> 00:10:33,814 It's not a bad thing in and of itself. 197 00:10:34,554 --> 00:10:38,924 Does your shutdown state limit your capacity to work and kick butt in life? 198 00:10:38,924 --> 00:10:39,294 Yeah. 199 00:10:39,794 --> 00:10:42,134 And to connect with others and build meaningful relationships? 200 00:10:42,134 --> 00:10:42,684 Yeah, it does. 201 00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:49,064 So yeah, it's limiting, just like fight and flight and freeze, but it's not bad. 202 00:10:49,104 --> 00:10:52,794 So there's no one way you're supposed to think and act and feel. 203 00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:56,829 I like what she says that Don't fight it off, basically. 204 00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,039 Shutdown is here for a reason. 205 00:11:00,319 --> 00:11:01,169 It's not random. 206 00:11:01,419 --> 00:11:05,439 You're in a shutdown state, probably due to the context of 207 00:11:05,449 --> 00:11:06,989 your life, present and past. 208 00:11:07,819 --> 00:11:11,959 And so rather than fighting that you're in shutdown, can you embrace it? 209 00:11:11,979 --> 00:11:17,289 And can you give yourself moments of calm, relaxation, and stillness? 210 00:11:18,259 --> 00:11:23,779 Can you get in that warm blanket with a warm tea, versus telling yourself, "I'm 211 00:11:23,779 --> 00:11:28,029 not supposed to feel like this," and then distracting yourself with your phone? 212 00:11:28,909 --> 00:11:31,469 One of those is more embracing of shutdown than the other. 213 00:11:32,129 --> 00:11:37,364 Can you be with one person that feels safe and that you smile with, and who accepts 214 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:43,699 you fully, versus isolating in your room with the lights off, watching a Netflix 215 00:11:43,709 --> 00:11:45,389 series from beginning to end in one day? 216 00:11:46,219 --> 00:11:47,039 One of those. 217 00:11:47,329 --> 00:11:50,019 is more embracing of shutdown than the other. 218 00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:54,699 So instead of fighting it, can you connect with it compassionately on some level? 219 00:11:54,699 --> 00:11:58,529 And that completely depends on the strength of your safety state. 220 00:11:58,579 --> 00:12:01,784 The next person to share their thoughts is Rosa. 221 00:12:01,784 --> 00:12:05,184 She says, I'd be interested to know more about the different degrees of 222 00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:09,694 shutdown because I'm convinced there is a mild form that all of us are in 223 00:12:09,994 --> 00:12:13,204 a lot of the time, but we're still functional and able to do stuff. 224 00:12:14,174 --> 00:12:17,184 We're just not connected to our bodies or the here and now. 225 00:12:17,794 --> 00:12:21,224 One particular challenge for me is that I can see how shutdown protects 226 00:12:21,224 --> 00:12:24,784 me from certain aspects of my life that are too painful to deal with 227 00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:27,474 like chronic fatigue and isolation. 228 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:31,324 Coming out of shutdown means being more aware of those things and 229 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:35,004 although I can't change those things, especially isolation, unless I come 230 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:38,684 out of shutdown, it can't change overnight and it's not easy to change. 231 00:12:38,694 --> 00:12:42,934 So there's this bit in between where I'm super aware of my dissatisfaction 232 00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:46,414 with my life and I can see why my nervous system goes into 233 00:12:46,414 --> 00:12:48,244 shutdown to cope with this reality. 234 00:12:48,244 --> 00:12:50,044 So the first part of this, Rosa, I definitely agree with. 235 00:12:50,044 --> 00:12:55,884 I think each of us has some level of disconnection, and maybe I would 236 00:12:55,884 --> 00:13:01,014 call it some level of shutdown that is present within us every day. 237 00:13:01,654 --> 00:13:02,134 Well, we all do. 238 00:13:02,144 --> 00:13:04,684 I mean, it's all these states are on at all times. 239 00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,684 But there is some level of disconnection. 240 00:13:06,684 --> 00:13:09,014 Disconnection can kind of come from flight and fight as well. 241 00:13:10,064 --> 00:13:12,754 I agree that there is probably some level of disconnection. 242 00:13:12,874 --> 00:13:16,249 How many of us are aware that we have emotions in our body. 243 00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:20,149 Um, like there, there is some chronic level of disconnection, you 244 00:13:20,149 --> 00:13:22,859 know, top down that we all have. 245 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,229 And is that due to family? 246 00:13:24,229 --> 00:13:24,649 Yeah. 247 00:13:24,899 --> 00:13:31,679 Culture, political stuff, um, social stuff, you know, in our interpersonal 248 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:36,969 issues, our own issues internally, where we reject how we think and feel. 249 00:13:36,969 --> 00:13:37,129 Yeah. 250 00:13:37,129 --> 00:13:38,529 Like it's all these things put together. 251 00:13:38,529 --> 00:13:40,669 There's just disconnection, disconnection, disconnection. 252 00:13:41,319 --> 00:13:42,379 So yeah, I agree. 253 00:13:42,609 --> 00:13:46,509 And that's probably like a daily, just chronic underlying level of shutdown 254 00:13:46,919 --> 00:13:50,279 that we all have in that context, but that also could come from flight fight. 255 00:13:50,279 --> 00:13:54,219 So, um, mostly i'm agreeing with Rosa here, I think. 256 00:13:54,219 --> 00:13:56,199 And yeah, it does have a function. 257 00:13:56,789 --> 00:13:58,539 There are things that are too much in life. 258 00:13:58,539 --> 00:14:02,749 And so shutdown helps numb us from the pains of that 259 00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:04,879 like maybe a chronic illness. 260 00:14:06,199 --> 00:14:11,709 It doesn't change overnight As we come out of it, we become more aware 261 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,209 of how unhappy we are with life. 262 00:14:14,209 --> 00:14:17,809 And that's, well, we're probably aware of that in shutdown, but as we come out of 263 00:14:17,809 --> 00:14:19,749 shutdown, we have more fight activation. 264 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:24,919 So that level of frustration with life and our functioning in it probably goes up. 265 00:14:25,349 --> 00:14:29,559 And that's potentially a really good sign that we're coming out of shutdown. 266 00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:33,849 If, if we're not as numb, then that means we're not as shut down. 267 00:14:33,889 --> 00:14:38,319 And so that might come through as irritability and 268 00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:40,729 aggressiveness or even anxiousness. 269 00:14:41,149 --> 00:14:43,449 If you're feeling those things, that means, Hey, you're not quite 270 00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,449 shut down now as you were before. 271 00:14:46,269 --> 00:14:52,269 So can we embrace those feelings, um, and keep climbing our Polyvagal ladder? 272 00:14:52,279 --> 00:14:52,959 It is possible. 273 00:14:52,999 --> 00:14:56,169 And again, safety state strength is unbelievably important in that 274 00:14:56,169 --> 00:15:00,329 mindfulness, maybe meditation practices, maybe use utilizing movement as a means 275 00:15:00,329 --> 00:15:02,759 to channel or funnel that activation. 276 00:15:03,099 --> 00:15:06,549 Rosa says to you, dear listener, and Rosa has been in shutdown four to 10 years. 277 00:15:06,884 --> 00:15:09,134 She says If you're experiencing shutdown right now, please 278 00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:10,374 know that you haven't failed. 279 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:11,524 You're not broken. 280 00:15:12,034 --> 00:15:16,014 You're just overwhelmed and your nervous system is trying to cope with that 281 00:15:16,644 --> 00:15:18,584 in what it thinks is the best way. 282 00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:20,044 Be gentle with yourself. 283 00:15:20,664 --> 00:15:25,244 Maybe you can do one small thing that brings you some comfort or brings a 284 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:26,674 tiny bit of awareness to your body. 285 00:15:27,054 --> 00:15:27,444 I love that. 286 00:15:27,444 --> 00:15:29,524 Thank you Rosa for sharing your thoughts with everyone. 287 00:15:29,874 --> 00:15:34,744 I love that idea one thing I think that's huge personally. 288 00:15:34,794 --> 00:15:38,664 In the Stucknaut Collective, the private community, I do these 289 00:15:38,664 --> 00:15:39,994 Daily Growth Hub challenges. 290 00:15:40,014 --> 00:15:46,084 And a lot of times it's just like, what's one small thing that you can do today? 291 00:15:46,414 --> 00:15:51,594 What is one two minute mindfulness exercise that you can do today? 292 00:15:52,014 --> 00:15:56,314 I think those little micro moments of safety or micro moments of mindfulness 293 00:15:56,344 --> 00:16:00,454 where we connect with what we're feeling inside, I think those are enormous and can 294 00:16:00,454 --> 00:16:05,254 do a ton in shutdown, especially because in shutdown things seem so overwhelming. 295 00:16:05,254 --> 00:16:09,274 So if you can do a two minute mindfulness exercise- or even a 30 second one- you 296 00:16:09,529 --> 00:16:12,959 If you can do that, that's probably a lot better than a 30 minute meditation 297 00:16:12,969 --> 00:16:14,389 that you're struggling through. 298 00:16:14,439 --> 00:16:15,099 Like seriously. 299 00:16:15,259 --> 00:16:16,119 So thank you Rosa. 300 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,569 And I, I, I double that. 301 00:16:18,569 --> 00:16:21,459 Like those little, those little moments of connection of 302 00:16:21,459 --> 00:16:23,499 mindfulness of safety are enormous. 303 00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:27,909 Ellie, who's been in shutdown four to 10 years also says to you, dear 304 00:16:27,909 --> 00:16:29,979 listener, Shutdown can feel like forever. 305 00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:34,239 Calm and grounded can seem so impossible that it isn't even on 306 00:16:34,239 --> 00:16:36,019 the map to get out of shutdown. 307 00:16:36,724 --> 00:16:37,714 But it's there. 308 00:16:37,954 --> 00:16:40,044 Your body and mind want to help you. 309 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:44,044 You're in shutdown because a part of you is trying to protect you. 310 00:16:44,544 --> 00:16:45,404 Honor that part. 311 00:16:45,954 --> 00:16:47,084 It wants to help. 312 00:16:47,164 --> 00:16:48,094 It just doesn't know how. 313 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:49,154 I love this, Ellie. 314 00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:50,154 I love this. 315 00:16:50,164 --> 00:16:53,454 This is, again, speaking to, can you validate what you're feeling? 316 00:16:53,634 --> 00:16:54,624 Can, can you acknowledge it? 317 00:16:55,504 --> 00:16:56,594 Can you normalize it? 318 00:16:56,604 --> 00:16:58,694 That it's there for a reason and maybe it's even protective. 319 00:16:59,179 --> 00:17:00,879 And can you give it permission to be there? 320 00:17:01,339 --> 00:17:06,739 So even though it seems so far away, it is possible to get to a state of safety. 321 00:17:07,249 --> 00:17:12,069 It is possible to have small moments of calm, small moments of relaxation 322 00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:15,129 or connection, or basically stillness. 323 00:17:15,130 --> 00:17:17,999 Stillness is the, is the combination of your safety 324 00:17:17,999 --> 00:17:19,919 state with your shutdown state. 325 00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:22,629 So can you be in shutdown, but also have your safety state active? 326 00:17:22,629 --> 00:17:24,109 Yeah, it is very much possible. 327 00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:27,919 And that might be step one, like just reduce stimulation around you. 328 00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:31,094 That, that might be the, the next step forward. 329 00:17:31,094 --> 00:17:36,154 Okay, the next response is from Smokey Moon, who has been in 330 00:17:36,154 --> 00:17:38,464 shutdown for 50 plus years. 331 00:17:39,214 --> 00:17:44,489 Smokey Moon says, simply, elegantly, and poignantly, This is not your fault. 332 00:17:44,849 --> 00:17:47,039 dear listener who's also in shutdown, this is not your fault. 333 00:17:47,129 --> 00:17:49,729 And I, I don't really have much to add to that. 334 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,869 Um, yeah, ditto, ditto on my end. 335 00:17:51,869 --> 00:17:52,549 I, I agree. 336 00:17:52,759 --> 00:17:55,159 It's not your fault, but actually I will add something to this. 337 00:17:56,429 --> 00:18:01,609 You, dear listener who's stuck in shutdown, you might blame yourself. 338 00:18:01,609 --> 00:18:04,569 You might say, "Well, today I didn't, all I did was stay in bed all day." 339 00:18:04,569 --> 00:18:09,029 And "I didn't live up to what I want to as a parent or as an 340 00:18:09,029 --> 00:18:10,409 employee or a business owner. 341 00:18:10,409 --> 00:18:11,584 I just. 342 00:18:12,644 --> 00:18:13,384 This is my fault. 343 00:18:13,754 --> 00:18:15,204 I'm choosing this state every day. 344 00:18:15,204 --> 00:18:16,124 I'm choosing my thoughts." 345 00:18:16,154 --> 00:18:21,864 Um, to that I would say It's completely okay to take stock, take inventory, 346 00:18:21,864 --> 00:18:27,304 to audit your daily life and look at what you are and are not happy with. 347 00:18:27,414 --> 00:18:27,844 That's fine. 348 00:18:27,864 --> 00:18:29,884 We're not content with, we're not proud of. 349 00:18:30,384 --> 00:18:31,164 Nothing wrong with that at all. 350 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,934 Now is your stuck, shut down state your fault? 351 00:18:32,954 --> 00:18:33,304 Meh. 352 00:18:33,319 --> 00:18:36,999 I mean, the reason why it's there, probably not, but can you 353 00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:39,369 take responsibility every day for doing something differently? 354 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,789 Yeah, I think it's a really good idea. 355 00:18:41,199 --> 00:18:42,139 Even though it's not your fault. 356 00:18:42,299 --> 00:18:48,159 Sadly, the responsibility is on all of us to improve ourselves, to self 357 00:18:48,159 --> 00:18:49,929 regulate out of our stuck defensive state. 358 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:50,789 That it is on us. 359 00:18:50,899 --> 00:18:53,019 And hopefully we help each other out and have people in our lives 360 00:18:53,019 --> 00:18:56,589 that are co regulators, but ultimately, yeah, it's up to us. 361 00:18:56,599 --> 00:19:00,489 So hopefully we can agree that while it's not your fault, you're stuck in 362 00:19:00,489 --> 00:19:05,119 shutdown, probably, that it is your responsibility and there are things 363 00:19:05,129 --> 00:19:09,664 that you can do every day to feel a little bit more proud of yourself. 364 00:19:10,104 --> 00:19:16,064 So instead of binge watching Netflix, can you listen to, or can you do a two 365 00:19:16,064 --> 00:19:18,464 minute meditation or mindfulness practice? 366 00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:24,954 Can you, you know, reduce stimulation for two minutes and exist in silence and give 367 00:19:24,954 --> 00:19:27,974 yourself permission to feel what you feel and maybe say something kind of yourself? 368 00:19:27,974 --> 00:19:28,124 Yeah. 369 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:28,714 Yeah. 370 00:19:29,094 --> 00:19:29,884 You can probably do that. 371 00:19:30,154 --> 00:19:30,984 You can probably do that. 372 00:19:31,334 --> 00:19:36,554 Um, so you're probably not going to, none of us are going to fully self regulate 373 00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:41,464 out of shutdown completely and entirely and forever starting today, probably 374 00:19:41,464 --> 00:19:46,184 not, but we can absolutely take some steps in that direction every single day. 375 00:19:46,224 --> 00:19:49,184 And so today, and in this moment right now, you have an opportunity to do that, 376 00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:50,794 and I really hope you embrace that. 377 00:19:50,804 --> 00:19:54,904 I hope you don't, um, end your day with, uh, even more regret, 378 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:57,094 and more guilt, and more shame. 379 00:19:57,314 --> 00:19:59,904 Or at least with less of those things, because I hope you do 380 00:19:59,904 --> 00:20:01,314 something different starting today. 381 00:20:02,154 --> 00:20:02,904 If you're not already. 382 00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:08,094 Joe, who has been in shutdown one to three years, says to you, Dear Listener, Your 383 00:20:08,094 --> 00:20:10,304 shutdown experience does not define you. 384 00:20:10,904 --> 00:20:13,884 You are very capable of getting out of that state. 385 00:20:14,149 --> 00:20:15,959 You're so loved and appreciated. 386 00:20:16,309 --> 00:20:18,239 You're so resilient for getting through this. 387 00:20:18,239 --> 00:20:21,129 Yeah, I think Joe, I think you are correct in that. 388 00:20:21,609 --> 00:20:26,129 There, um, I, I really appreciate that when I ask people who are in 389 00:20:26,599 --> 00:20:32,089 shutdown, just all the positivity, all of the, the love they have to give, 390 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,689 even to strangers who are listening to this, that's, it's really cool. 391 00:20:34,689 --> 00:20:39,619 So even though it feels alone and shutdown is kind of alone, um, you're not alone 392 00:20:39,619 --> 00:20:42,879 in shutdown in the sense that there are absolutely other people that are 393 00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:44,879 experiencing what you're going through. 394 00:20:44,929 --> 00:20:48,384 And that's- like I'm in the Stucknaut Collective that's the intention 395 00:20:48,384 --> 00:20:52,584 is to the people who are into the Polyvagal theory and working on 396 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,684 self regulation and putting these pieces together, let's let's meet up. 397 00:20:55,684 --> 00:20:58,364 Let's talk about this stuff here and work together. 398 00:20:58,374 --> 00:21:01,144 And I even have something called, um, shut down and stillness, which 399 00:21:01,154 --> 00:21:04,754 is a live cohort specifically for people who are in shutdown. 400 00:21:04,774 --> 00:21:06,384 And that has been awesome so far. 401 00:21:06,384 --> 00:21:07,164 I'm loving that. 402 00:21:07,774 --> 00:21:10,874 And it's, it's, um, it's really cool to see people embrace, okay, I'm 403 00:21:10,874 --> 00:21:14,574 in shutdown, but I can also work on feeling safe and, and then getting into 404 00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,314 stillness by combining those two things. 405 00:21:16,364 --> 00:21:20,884 Anne number one says, I didn't know what I didn't know. 406 00:21:21,624 --> 00:21:26,614 70 is late to analyze childhood trauma. 407 00:21:28,414 --> 00:21:29,834 I get what Anne is saying. 408 00:21:30,544 --> 00:21:31,864 70, is it too late? 409 00:21:32,304 --> 00:21:33,094 No, obviously not. 410 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:37,949 Is it too late to start to work on yourself? 411 00:21:38,029 --> 00:21:40,379 To self reg, to work on self regulation? 412 00:21:40,409 --> 00:21:42,899 To get more satisfaction from life? 413 00:21:42,939 --> 00:21:44,959 No, it's not too late. 414 00:21:44,979 --> 00:21:47,209 Is it later than 24 years old? 415 00:21:47,209 --> 00:21:49,299 Yeah, it's later, but it's not too late. 416 00:21:50,069 --> 00:21:53,069 I think it's actually, it's better than nothing, right? 417 00:21:53,309 --> 00:21:55,149 It's, it's better than too late. 418 00:21:55,179 --> 00:21:56,209 It's a hell of a lot better than too late. 419 00:21:56,209 --> 00:21:57,569 It's better than 71. 420 00:21:57,569 --> 00:21:58,289 It's better than 72. 421 00:21:58,289 --> 00:21:58,969 It's better than 80. 422 00:21:58,969 --> 00:21:59,699 It's better than 90. 423 00:22:00,789 --> 00:22:04,459 So if you're working on this stuff at 70, you still have more life to go. 424 00:22:05,294 --> 00:22:06,654 I'm glad, I'm glad that you're working on this. 425 00:22:06,654 --> 00:22:08,204 I'm glad that you're working on self regulation. 426 00:22:08,824 --> 00:22:10,774 Does that mean you have to delve into childhood trauma? 427 00:22:10,854 --> 00:22:11,454 I don't think so. 428 00:22:12,794 --> 00:22:14,614 Uh, personally, I don't, that's not the way I work. 429 00:22:14,654 --> 00:22:15,474 That's not the way I teach. 430 00:22:16,484 --> 00:22:21,224 If you want to go ahead, uh, but you can absolutely today, you know, uh, 431 00:22:21,224 --> 00:22:25,294 put some attention, some compassion, some mindfulness into what you feel in 432 00:22:25,294 --> 00:22:28,774 this present moment, not even today, just, just in the present moment, in 433 00:22:28,774 --> 00:22:32,984 the present moment, can we connect with the experience of numbness? 434 00:22:33,029 --> 00:22:34,849 Yeah, yeah, we can do that. 435 00:22:35,539 --> 00:22:39,449 Do we have to reflect upon childhood trauma in this moment? 436 00:22:39,449 --> 00:22:40,879 No, you don't have to. 437 00:22:41,409 --> 00:22:47,249 And I think a lot more good can be done through prioritizing feeling safe and 438 00:22:47,249 --> 00:22:51,109 then permitting your other feelings to be there that ones that are we typically 439 00:22:51,109 --> 00:22:54,653 try to avoid- and this is not just for seventy year olds This is for everybody. 440 00:22:54,693 --> 00:22:57,253 I think more good can come from that in this present moment right now 441 00:22:57,898 --> 00:23:02,548 versus trying to address specific instances of childhood trauma. 442 00:23:04,028 --> 00:23:06,638 Now if you want to keep working on safety and building that up and you're 443 00:23:06,638 --> 00:23:11,808 now you're ready to address childhood trauma or whatever other traumas, a week 444 00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:14,858 from now, two weeks from now, months, years from now, sure, go right ahead. 445 00:23:15,028 --> 00:23:21,908 But in this present moment, it's not too late to start adding a little bit 446 00:23:21,908 --> 00:23:26,598 more safety in your life or compassion toward the stuff that doesn't feel great. 447 00:23:26,608 --> 00:23:27,278 It's not too late. 448 00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,438 Honestly, it's the present moment, so it's probably the perfect time. 449 00:23:30,438 --> 00:23:35,188 Nade who has been in shutdown in the past year says to you, Dear Listener, 450 00:23:35,198 --> 00:23:37,068 the sun is always above the cloud. 451 00:23:37,108 --> 00:23:37,618 Oh, I like that. 452 00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:40,258 The sun is always above the clouds. 453 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:46,053 If you do not see the sun or feel its warmth, it does not mean it is not there. 454 00:23:46,753 --> 00:23:49,363 Shut down alters your perception of reality. 455 00:23:49,953 --> 00:23:52,593 What you feel is real is not reality. 456 00:23:52,853 --> 00:23:53,673 That's really interesting. 457 00:23:53,783 --> 00:23:57,403 The, um, and Nadia is correct that no matter what state we're in, it does 458 00:23:57,423 --> 00:24:00,383 filter the experience of reality. 459 00:24:01,843 --> 00:24:04,223 So there probably is one, we, we, we, there is an objective 460 00:24:04,223 --> 00:24:05,093 reality outside of us. 461 00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:07,098 There is an objective reality. 462 00:24:07,778 --> 00:24:11,308 The state that we're in, whether it's safety, flight, fight, shutdown, freeze, 463 00:24:11,368 --> 00:24:17,428 or, or something else, the state that we're in directly becomes a filter 464 00:24:17,428 --> 00:24:20,478 for the external objective reality. 465 00:24:21,028 --> 00:24:24,288 Someone in shutdown experiences things differently than someone who's in fight. 466 00:24:25,438 --> 00:24:26,608 Neither of them are right or wrong. 467 00:24:26,618 --> 00:24:27,408 It's, it's different. 468 00:24:27,928 --> 00:24:32,558 Someone who's in safety probably has, I would, I would, I assume and understand 469 00:24:32,558 --> 00:24:37,718 that probably has a more present moment objective connection with reality. 470 00:24:38,318 --> 00:24:39,408 With the external reality. 471 00:24:39,888 --> 00:24:40,898 Does it mean they're always right? 472 00:24:41,038 --> 00:24:41,868 No, of course not. 473 00:24:42,598 --> 00:24:47,698 But, uh, their level of present moment connection is, is, is higher than 474 00:24:47,698 --> 00:24:48,818 someone who's in a defensive state. 475 00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:54,128 And as you access more and more safety, you'll notice how fundamentally 476 00:24:54,128 --> 00:24:59,698 different reality is how much more enlivened you are within, but also 477 00:24:59,698 --> 00:25:01,528 how much vibrant the world is outside. 478 00:25:01,798 --> 00:25:07,268 The metaphor of sun is above the clouds is, is like so perfect for shutdown too. 479 00:25:07,628 --> 00:25:12,568 As the clouds clear, then the, um, well, self regulation unfolds. 480 00:25:12,818 --> 00:25:16,258 And then we can see the sun, then we can touch upon safety. 481 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:20,468 Anne number two, who's been in shutdown one to three years, has a 482 00:25:20,468 --> 00:25:21,638 lot to say to you, Dear Listener. 483 00:25:21,638 --> 00:25:22,268 She says. 484 00:25:23,028 --> 00:25:24,518 Hi friend, capital F. 485 00:25:24,548 --> 00:25:25,858 Hi Friend, I'm here. 486 00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:32,408 May my own experiences of shutdown offer you a sense that you are truly not alone. 487 00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:37,858 We may have not experienced shutdown together in the exact same time or the 488 00:25:37,858 --> 00:25:44,108 exact same ways, but I know that it is that experience of being so immobile 489 00:25:44,393 --> 00:25:49,183 we can't move, barely move, or want to move, or want to even be alive sometimes, 490 00:25:49,183 --> 00:25:54,403 or make a sound, or make the tiniest single efforts, or anything at all. 491 00:25:55,763 --> 00:25:59,113 You still love who you love, you still love the things 492 00:25:59,113 --> 00:26:01,933 you love, you are still you. 493 00:26:02,723 --> 00:26:04,653 That hasn't changed because of your shutdown. 494 00:26:05,353 --> 00:26:09,203 It's an honestly uncomfortable thing when you just don't want to 495 00:26:09,203 --> 00:26:10,903 do a single thing, and I get it. 496 00:26:11,958 --> 00:26:15,598 There are truly so many real reasons for your shutdown. 497 00:26:15,598 --> 00:26:19,238 Real experiences of times when you were being a genuine human being, 498 00:26:19,448 --> 00:26:22,108 trying to survive those moments. 499 00:26:22,778 --> 00:26:26,498 Maybe it was during a time when you gave it your all because you cared. 500 00:26:27,158 --> 00:26:30,328 Or maybe it was during a time when you thought or felt you 501 00:26:30,328 --> 00:26:31,648 were doing the right thing. 502 00:26:32,438 --> 00:26:36,008 Or maybe it was people being cruel or releasing their past traumas onto you. 503 00:26:36,988 --> 00:26:39,288 Or it was a horrible, frightening event. 504 00:26:39,858 --> 00:26:40,258 Period. 505 00:26:41,098 --> 00:26:43,358 Being in shutdown is not a forever thing. 506 00:26:43,863 --> 00:26:47,623 It will happen for the time being to help you save what's left of your energy. 507 00:26:48,213 --> 00:26:50,093 It's your body watching out for you. 508 00:26:50,093 --> 00:26:51,190 Even though it feels like s----. 509 00:26:51,923 --> 00:26:56,683 It's honestly you being as gentle to yourself as it knows how 510 00:26:56,713 --> 00:26:58,083 after what you've went through. 511 00:26:59,163 --> 00:27:01,633 So, Friend, you aren't a bad person. 512 00:27:02,163 --> 00:27:06,783 You're no word that describes anything remotely bad or negative 513 00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:09,093 or unworthy of kindness in any way. 514 00:27:10,163 --> 00:27:13,823 You are a human trying to save yourself in one of the most incredible 515 00:27:13,823 --> 00:27:15,353 responses we are meant to do. 516 00:27:16,483 --> 00:27:19,663 And just from my own experience, sometimes I am able to climb out of 517 00:27:19,663 --> 00:27:23,313 shutdown, like in a force myself to do it kind of way, because you know, 518 00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:24,633 life and all the responsibilities. 519 00:27:25,588 --> 00:27:29,148 Where sometimes I climb out of shutdown very, very, extremely slowly. 520 00:27:29,928 --> 00:27:32,218 And there are times when I have been in shutdown for years. 521 00:27:32,948 --> 00:27:37,228 There isn't one clear answer of how to solve it or get out of it. 522 00:27:37,828 --> 00:27:41,598 If any of these words feel safe, please take whatever you feel is right for you. 523 00:27:42,218 --> 00:27:43,908 Patience, love, rest. 524 00:27:44,168 --> 00:27:45,218 Take as much time as you need. 525 00:27:45,778 --> 00:27:49,208 Reach out to someone you trust or seek help when you feel ready. 526 00:27:49,258 --> 00:27:52,488 Let the world be while you let yourself be. 527 00:27:53,093 --> 00:27:54,183 And that is totally okay. 528 00:27:54,723 --> 00:27:56,033 Anne number two, that was incredible. 529 00:27:56,033 --> 00:27:56,693 I'm gonna leave it at that. 530 00:27:56,693 --> 00:27:57,653 I have nothing to add to that. 531 00:27:57,983 --> 00:28:01,303 Karyn had a little bit more of her own personal context I wanted to 532 00:28:01,303 --> 00:28:03,703 share that, you know, maybe people could relate to, and I think it's 533 00:28:03,703 --> 00:28:04,733 a really good example of Shutdown. 534 00:28:05,223 --> 00:28:08,653 Karyn says, How rare it is for anybody to know about it. 535 00:28:08,693 --> 00:28:11,133 You can't tell most people, "Oh, I'm in shutdown right now." 536 00:28:12,078 --> 00:28:14,378 Recently, I did a group mushroom ceremony. 537 00:28:14,458 --> 00:28:19,188 I was with six women I've known for 10 plus years, and we had a guide we paid. 538 00:28:19,368 --> 00:28:23,198 I told the guide about my rough MDMA experience. 539 00:28:24,108 --> 00:28:27,158 For the mushroom journey, I cried for most of the three hours. 540 00:28:27,483 --> 00:28:28,583 It was very painful. 541 00:28:28,963 --> 00:28:31,333 I kept trying to pull myself out of the sadness. 542 00:28:31,633 --> 00:28:33,923 That level of crying is dysregulating for me. 543 00:28:34,283 --> 00:28:36,223 It was not cathartic in that context. 544 00:28:36,263 --> 00:28:40,463 I felt shame because I kept crying, and I couldn't have the expansive loving 545 00:28:40,463 --> 00:28:42,853 experience I had held for my intention. 546 00:28:43,633 --> 00:28:46,813 The guide would not acknowledge that I'd had a bad trip. 547 00:28:47,063 --> 00:28:48,833 She kept telling me the positive. 548 00:28:49,453 --> 00:28:53,713 The next morning, I tried to spin it as well as I could when we had the 549 00:28:53,723 --> 00:28:55,613 integration session together as a group. 550 00:28:56,143 --> 00:28:59,273 The guide went into this weird questioning with me and kept 551 00:28:59,273 --> 00:29:01,393 trying to make me see the positive. 552 00:29:02,083 --> 00:29:05,873 And I told her that I was in shutdown and was unable to 553 00:29:05,873 --> 00:29:07,753 find the positive or feel it. 554 00:29:08,473 --> 00:29:11,163 She just kept pushing and pushing. 555 00:29:11,933 --> 00:29:14,483 It was like she had to show the group her skills. 556 00:29:15,383 --> 00:29:19,313 And I got to the point where I told her I wanted to be downstairs under my bed. 557 00:29:20,163 --> 00:29:25,953 She kept at it, and my being somehow got very stubborn and a little angry. 558 00:29:25,953 --> 00:29:30,213 So then I said, I was just going to ---- myself when my money runs out. 559 00:29:31,193 --> 00:29:32,453 I still can't believe I said that. 560 00:29:33,768 --> 00:29:35,138 It's only a tiny bit true. 561 00:29:35,168 --> 00:29:38,698 I'm much more resourced emotionally than that makes me sound. 562 00:29:39,808 --> 00:29:41,378 That was a classic shutdown statement. 563 00:29:42,588 --> 00:29:46,168 But the morning after mushrooms, one is not one's usual self. 564 00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:49,638 I described shutdown repeatedly, thinking she'd eventually 565 00:29:49,638 --> 00:29:50,998 get it, but she never did. 566 00:29:51,648 --> 00:29:57,118 She was obsessed with how I needed to drop my limiting beliefs, and I'd be fine. 567 00:29:58,148 --> 00:30:01,648 I processed this experience with a wise integration therapist who told 568 00:30:01,648 --> 00:30:06,363 me never to do psychedelic therapy in a group setting, or at least 569 00:30:06,743 --> 00:30:08,583 not until I'm much more integrated. 570 00:30:09,263 --> 00:30:13,993 She also said that guide was probably only experienced with run of the mill 571 00:30:14,013 --> 00:30:17,793 trauma and not the kind of trauma that my body is working through. 572 00:30:18,963 --> 00:30:20,973 I hope you can see the shutdown in the story. 573 00:30:20,973 --> 00:30:26,093 It shows up and most people don't know what they are seeing, and yet 574 00:30:26,093 --> 00:30:30,893 I'm pretty sure everyone in that mushroom ceremony has been in shutdown. 575 00:30:31,293 --> 00:30:34,303 They just didn't know it, and perhaps they don't get stuck. 576 00:30:35,018 --> 00:30:38,918 And healing professionals who think they know healing, well, in my view, 577 00:30:38,918 --> 00:30:41,358 they all need Polyvagal Theory training. 578 00:30:41,848 --> 00:30:45,748 Yes, Karyn, I completely agree, and I appreciate you sharing that really 579 00:30:45,748 --> 00:30:47,838 descriptive experience of shutdown. 580 00:30:47,878 --> 00:30:51,188 So even if someone isn't going through a mushroom ceremony, I think what 581 00:30:51,188 --> 00:30:53,898 you described is extremely relatable. 582 00:30:54,228 --> 00:30:57,558 The idea of, well, if you just stop thinking that way, if you just stop 583 00:30:57,568 --> 00:31:02,483 feeling that way, well, if you just change your behaviors, Like, okay, but well, how? 584 00:31:02,813 --> 00:31:04,323 How do I, how do we do that? 585 00:31:04,943 --> 00:31:08,443 How do we do that without rejecting who we are and how we feel? 586 00:31:08,443 --> 00:31:14,393 Because I think it's important, I think, to compassionately notice, normalize, 587 00:31:14,433 --> 00:31:20,348 and even permit how we feel is, is important very important and necessary 588 00:31:20,348 --> 00:31:21,958 for the process of self regulation. 589 00:31:21,958 --> 00:31:23,958 So if we just say, well, think differently, feel 590 00:31:23,958 --> 00:31:25,558 differently, act differently. 591 00:31:26,598 --> 00:31:27,968 Um, that's nice. 592 00:31:27,978 --> 00:31:32,258 It's a nice idea, but it's also kind of ridiculous. 593 00:31:33,238 --> 00:31:33,538 All right. 594 00:31:33,548 --> 00:31:36,858 So then Karyn goes on to say for you, your listener, another thought for you. 595 00:31:36,858 --> 00:31:39,423 She says, The first step is to notice. 596 00:31:40,143 --> 00:31:43,793 Then, sit with it for a bit and notice what is happening, which 597 00:31:43,793 --> 00:31:46,393 is usually the lack of what can be noticed, but this is important. 598 00:31:47,493 --> 00:31:52,413 So I get to the point of, oh, here I am in shutdown, and I'm grateful I've seen this. 599 00:31:52,593 --> 00:31:55,603 Then, I make a list of what I can do to start the process of shifting. 600 00:31:56,153 --> 00:32:00,263 Journaling, somatic practice to be in my body, maybe some music and 601 00:32:00,273 --> 00:32:04,683 movement, running my hands up and down my arms and or legs, touching my face. 602 00:32:05,643 --> 00:32:07,348 Be patient and gentle. 603 00:32:07,408 --> 00:32:08,008 Karen says. 604 00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:09,148 Those are really good ideas. 605 00:32:09,208 --> 00:32:11,538 And Karyn, those are awesome that it's from you. 606 00:32:11,548 --> 00:32:13,118 It's what your body wants. 607 00:32:13,128 --> 00:32:14,558 It's telling you this is what I need. 608 00:32:15,098 --> 00:32:15,948 And so you act on it. 609 00:32:16,418 --> 00:32:17,298 That's perfect. 610 00:32:17,418 --> 00:32:18,518 That is beautiful. 611 00:32:18,808 --> 00:32:21,628 And Dear Listener, I would invite you to do the same. 612 00:32:21,628 --> 00:32:24,258 I don't know if running your hands up and down your body is good for you. 613 00:32:25,398 --> 00:32:27,978 I'm not here to give a prescription like just do this thing and you'll feel better. 614 00:32:27,978 --> 00:32:28,638 That's not the point. 615 00:32:29,258 --> 00:32:31,668 If you can permeate yourself to feel the way you feel, your body 616 00:32:31,668 --> 00:32:32,618 will tell you what it needs. 617 00:32:32,923 --> 00:32:37,303 Eventually, if you could listen deep enough, Cindy J says, who's 618 00:32:37,303 --> 00:32:40,293 been in shutdown the past year says, Be patient with yourself and 619 00:32:40,303 --> 00:32:41,823 don't be afraid to ask for help. 620 00:32:41,853 --> 00:32:45,893 Love it, and maybe even asking for help is if that's too much, you 621 00:32:45,893 --> 00:32:47,923 know, like listening to something like this, listening to trusted 622 00:32:47,923 --> 00:32:52,623 sources, um, maybe that's the first step toward asking for help. 623 00:32:52,653 --> 00:32:55,723 If you can do this, then is there someone in your life or even a professional that 624 00:32:55,743 --> 00:32:58,843 you can work with and ask for help in a way that feels comfortable for you? 625 00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:03,983 Robert, who's been in shutdown one to three years says to you, dear 626 00:33:03,983 --> 00:33:05,493 listener, he says, I feel you. 627 00:33:05,848 --> 00:33:07,458 It is going to be okay. 628 00:33:07,868 --> 00:33:13,518 Yes, it sucks, but hell, let's keep going and figure or not 629 00:33:13,588 --> 00:33:15,328 figure this out together. 630 00:33:15,338 --> 00:33:19,488 I love that Robert, that message of like togetherness, and there's even a 631 00:33:19,488 --> 00:33:20,828 little bit of fight activation in there. 632 00:33:20,828 --> 00:33:23,128 It's like yeah, it sucks, but what the heck, let's do it. 633 00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:24,858 There's some motivation there, I love it. 634 00:33:25,798 --> 00:33:29,818 Nanna, who has been shut down within the past year, says, This too will pass. 635 00:33:30,463 --> 00:33:34,373 But you must be curious to understand yourself and show self compassion. 636 00:33:34,873 --> 00:33:37,643 Digging in harder doesn't give you the path out of this. 637 00:33:38,163 --> 00:33:41,533 Your body is not the enemy and your mind is not the boss. 638 00:33:41,873 --> 00:33:46,753 You must connect the two and be curious to know who you are and believe you can 639 00:33:46,763 --> 00:33:48,983 heal with authentic connection in time. 640 00:33:48,993 --> 00:33:51,273 That is very wise, Nanna. 641 00:33:51,603 --> 00:33:52,273 so much for that. 642 00:33:52,273 --> 00:33:57,013 Dee, who has been in shutdown one to three years, also says, This too shall pass. 643 00:33:57,593 --> 00:34:00,883 Put one foot in front of the other and allow yourself to make small 644 00:34:00,883 --> 00:34:04,763 shifts, small wins, no judgment, only compassionate inquiry. 645 00:34:04,813 --> 00:34:06,403 Gradually things will change. 646 00:34:07,368 --> 00:34:11,838 Ellen, who's been in shutdown 31 to 40 years, says, Even if it completely feels 647 00:34:11,838 --> 00:34:14,518 like you are all alone, you are not. 648 00:34:14,558 --> 00:34:16,408 Please, please do not give up. 649 00:34:17,198 --> 00:34:19,088 Please be extremely kind to yourself. 650 00:34:19,728 --> 00:34:21,258 This is part of the human experience. 651 00:34:21,788 --> 00:34:23,968 I know it is so tough. 652 00:34:24,028 --> 00:34:26,238 Please do not make it harder for yourself. 653 00:34:26,338 --> 00:34:31,098 Linda, who's been in shutdown 50 plus years, says, You're not alone. 654 00:34:31,998 --> 00:34:36,648 There is help out there and finally there is light at the end of the tunnel. 655 00:34:37,418 --> 00:34:40,968 The Polyvagal Theory has been the life saving rescue for me. 656 00:34:41,808 --> 00:34:46,173 I've actually had glimpses of being able to think clearly and not being afraid. 657 00:34:47,213 --> 00:34:50,723 Soon I hope the glimpses will come together more and I can 658 00:34:50,723 --> 00:34:53,493 live peacefully and enjoy my life and not be afraid anymore. 659 00:34:54,573 --> 00:34:58,443 Just try it because it brings tremendous relief even with only 660 00:34:58,443 --> 00:35:00,063 the small glimpses at first. 661 00:35:01,023 --> 00:35:05,213 But you will feel yourself trying to come alive and that causes you to keep 662 00:35:05,213 --> 00:35:10,483 trying to get into ventral vagal safety to finally start feeling free of the 663 00:35:10,483 --> 00:35:13,493 drudge, confusion, and fear you feel now. 664 00:35:13,493 --> 00:35:14,373 Thank you so much, Linda. 665 00:35:14,373 --> 00:35:15,563 Yeah, those small moments. 666 00:35:16,073 --> 00:35:17,293 They go a long way. 667 00:35:17,323 --> 00:35:17,873 Don't give up. 668 00:35:17,873 --> 00:35:18,683 Do the small moments. 669 00:35:19,613 --> 00:35:24,013 Sharon simply says, Your body is telling you to lower your stimulation. 670 00:35:24,293 --> 00:35:25,583 Listen and get soothed. 671 00:35:26,473 --> 00:35:27,523 You are worth it. 672 00:35:27,583 --> 00:35:32,603 Sz says, I understand what's keeping you in the state. 673 00:35:32,893 --> 00:35:36,293 I would like you to become conscious of this state of yours and accept it. 674 00:35:36,389 --> 00:35:39,639 There were things in life that moved you down the Polyvagal ladder. 675 00:35:39,669 --> 00:35:40,919 Be self compassionate. 676 00:35:41,289 --> 00:35:43,399 There is nothing wrong with shutting down. 677 00:35:43,919 --> 00:35:47,409 It's your system signaling you that "I can't take anymore." 678 00:35:47,749 --> 00:35:49,929 I, I completely agree with SZ here. 679 00:35:49,929 --> 00:35:55,324 The only thing I'll tweak here is that I think when SZ says, "accept" 680 00:35:55,324 --> 00:35:58,994 it, the way I understand this, the way I'm reading it is, that doesn't 681 00:35:59,014 --> 00:36:00,174 mean you have to be okay with it. 682 00:36:00,434 --> 00:36:03,364 "Accept it" means, uh, validate it, recognize it. 683 00:36:03,884 --> 00:36:07,064 Maybe normalize it, and actually that's what SZ says here, is that it's 684 00:36:07,064 --> 00:36:08,624 not random, it's there for a reason. 685 00:36:09,504 --> 00:36:11,454 Um, and it's your body saying, "I can't take anymore." 686 00:36:11,774 --> 00:36:16,384 So accept, accept means, in this context I'm hearing it as, "accept" 687 00:36:16,384 --> 00:36:21,954 means validate, normalize, and even give it permission to be. 688 00:36:21,954 --> 00:36:26,474 Jessica, who has been in shutdown, it looks like between one to 689 00:36:26,474 --> 00:36:29,914 thirty years, maybe there's been a few different bouts of it. 690 00:36:30,504 --> 00:36:35,064 Jessica says, All I say to people in shutdown is that shutdown sucks. 691 00:36:35,194 --> 00:36:39,054 And it does get so, so, so much better. 692 00:36:39,634 --> 00:36:42,934 There is more to life than what you in shutdown have been experiencing. 693 00:36:43,494 --> 00:36:50,804 I spent 28 to 29 years being disconnected, dissociated slash in shutdown. 694 00:36:50,814 --> 00:36:54,984 And I can personally say through my experience that going from shutdown, 695 00:36:54,984 --> 00:36:57,034 experiencing safety is, is very difficult. 696 00:36:57,574 --> 00:36:58,844 And for me, it is not fun. 697 00:36:58,924 --> 00:37:03,394 And it is filled with steps backwards and weird curves on the road to recovery. 698 00:37:03,404 --> 00:37:06,754 But even though it is the most difficult thing I have 699 00:37:06,904 --> 00:37:09,384 ever and will ever experience. 700 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:13,949 I would encourage every person who is stuck in shutdown, specifically those 701 00:37:13,949 --> 00:37:16,429 who are stuck, to just keep trying. 702 00:37:16,599 --> 00:37:21,049 Keep moving through life because getting out of shutdown is 100 percent 703 00:37:21,139 --> 00:37:24,679 WORTH IT -experiencing safety and experiencing connection with people. 704 00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:29,199 Oh my gosh, I can't even come up with the words to describe how 705 00:37:29,219 --> 00:37:31,059 magnificent these things are. 706 00:37:32,349 --> 00:37:34,979 Work through shutdown at your own pace, but you can do it. 707 00:37:35,199 --> 00:37:37,179 It is possible, and it is worth it. 708 00:37:37,409 --> 00:37:38,109 Thank you, Jessica. 709 00:37:38,119 --> 00:37:40,029 I would definitely take Jessica's advice here. 710 00:37:40,444 --> 00:37:43,904 I'm not hearing Jessica say that it's a magic pill and that you're gonna be fixed 711 00:37:43,904 --> 00:37:48,264 overnight with, well, a magic pill or some hack, some vagal nerve stimulation. 712 00:37:49,004 --> 00:37:50,234 It sounds like it's a process. 713 00:37:50,264 --> 00:37:54,834 It's a process of slow results with small efforts. 714 00:37:55,644 --> 00:37:57,894 And that's a hell of a lot better than nothing. 715 00:37:58,204 --> 00:37:59,234 Uh, but that's pretty normal. 716 00:37:59,334 --> 00:37:59,884 That's pretty normal. 717 00:37:59,884 --> 00:38:01,924 And if you could do those little things every day, it goes a long way. 718 00:38:01,924 --> 00:38:03,284 I know I keep saying that, but it's true. 719 00:38:04,774 --> 00:38:09,184 Suzie, who's been in shutdown the past year, says, Someone once told me, when 720 00:38:09,184 --> 00:38:10,994 you're going through hell, keep going. 721 00:38:12,299 --> 00:38:15,149 Movement's important even if it is a cup of water to your 722 00:38:15,149 --> 00:38:16,919 lips and bread to your mouth. 723 00:38:16,959 --> 00:38:17,849 I love this. 724 00:38:17,859 --> 00:38:18,509 This is so good. 725 00:38:18,859 --> 00:38:19,759 Susie, thank you for this. 726 00:38:20,209 --> 00:38:22,249 The going through hell keep going. 727 00:38:22,249 --> 00:38:23,349 Yeah, like why stay in hell? 728 00:38:23,349 --> 00:38:26,139 You got at least make small steps forward and those small steps might 729 00:38:26,139 --> 00:38:31,099 be drink a little bit of water, eat a little bit of bread, just take care 730 00:38:31,099 --> 00:38:33,769 of your basic foundational pieces. 731 00:38:33,819 --> 00:38:37,589 But those little movements of, you know, your hand to your mouth, 732 00:38:38,369 --> 00:38:43,399 it's, doesn't seem like much, and I guess not, but it's better than 733 00:38:43,614 --> 00:38:46,784 laying and sleeping or oversleeping. 734 00:38:47,534 --> 00:38:48,484 I would say it's better than that. 735 00:38:49,404 --> 00:38:53,704 I think it's better than swiping with your thumb on your phone 736 00:38:53,774 --> 00:38:55,614 hour after hour after hour. 737 00:38:56,114 --> 00:38:58,764 So if you can take care of yourself and do small movements that might even be just 738 00:38:58,764 --> 00:39:02,864 sitting quietly for two minutes and using your eyes to reorient to the environment 739 00:39:02,864 --> 00:39:04,944 and seeing where your eyes take you. 740 00:39:06,284 --> 00:39:11,974 Like that's a small It's a tiny movement just eyes, but you know, it's you're 741 00:39:11,974 --> 00:39:13,164 reconnecting to the environment. 742 00:39:14,724 --> 00:39:18,094 I think it's better than not doing that. 743 00:39:18,474 --> 00:39:21,904 I think it's better than laying in bed in the dark and shaming yourself. 744 00:39:24,874 --> 00:39:25,224 That's it. 745 00:39:25,234 --> 00:39:30,634 That that is the end of the Shutdown Experiences Survey results I hope 746 00:39:30,634 --> 00:39:33,084 you've enjoyed this series and I hope you've gotten a lot out of it. 747 00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:35,884 I hope you feel more normal I hope you feel more validated. 748 00:39:36,614 --> 00:39:39,154 I hope you feel more seen even though these are strangers 749 00:39:39,694 --> 00:39:40,824 going through me, you know? 750 00:39:41,554 --> 00:39:45,829 That was kind of the goal with all this was How can I help my listeners who 751 00:39:45,829 --> 00:39:47,149 are in shutdown and knows a lot of you? 752 00:39:48,199 --> 00:39:52,879 How can I help you feel more seen and more normalized, more validated without 753 00:39:52,879 --> 00:39:55,219 telling you that you're valid and normal, that your feelings are valid and normal. 754 00:39:55,229 --> 00:39:57,999 How can I help connect you with other people? 755 00:39:57,999 --> 00:39:59,329 And that's, this is what I came up with. 756 00:39:59,329 --> 00:40:01,559 And I hope that you got a lot out of this. 757 00:40:01,879 --> 00:40:04,639 The other question I asked here that I didn't go into is what 758 00:40:04,639 --> 00:40:05,849 could be better about the feedback? 759 00:40:05,849 --> 00:40:09,359 And I just, or about the survey, the feedback I got from that. 760 00:40:09,359 --> 00:40:10,199 I got some really good ideas. 761 00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:12,599 So I just want to thank the people who gave me those. 762 00:40:13,339 --> 00:40:17,469 Um, and I also got some really, it was interesting that people 763 00:40:18,179 --> 00:40:22,059 said they got a lot out of doing the survey in and of itself. 764 00:40:23,229 --> 00:40:28,519 Like, just thinking about this stuff, and thinking about their life, and 765 00:40:28,519 --> 00:40:32,709 taking the time to respond, and taking the time to respond knowing that. 766 00:40:33,399 --> 00:40:34,639 I was going to share these results. 767 00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:36,039 Like it just did something for them. 768 00:40:36,099 --> 00:40:40,589 They said, like, they were grateful for the opportunity to reflect on 769 00:40:40,759 --> 00:40:44,829 their life, but also grateful for the opportunity to give to someone else. 770 00:40:44,829 --> 00:40:46,289 Like, that's pretty fricking amazing. 771 00:40:47,109 --> 00:40:50,569 For someone who's in shutdown to do that. 772 00:40:51,649 --> 00:40:52,499 That's, I don't know. 773 00:40:52,509 --> 00:40:52,879 It's awesome. 774 00:40:52,919 --> 00:40:55,759 Thank you for, on my behalf, but also for the listeners. 775 00:40:55,779 --> 00:40:57,359 Thank you for the people who took the time to do this. 776 00:40:57,849 --> 00:41:01,949 There was a couple of people who said, who started the survey and 777 00:41:01,969 --> 00:41:03,249 we're completing it and answering it. 778 00:41:03,249 --> 00:41:05,559 And by the end, they said, I don't have the energy for this anymore. 779 00:41:05,559 --> 00:41:05,899 I'm done. 780 00:41:06,859 --> 00:41:09,669 And they, they, I believe, just I assume just like copy pasted, "I 781 00:41:09,669 --> 00:41:10,419 don't have the energy for this." 782 00:41:10,419 --> 00:41:11,449 And I appreciate you doing that. 783 00:41:12,349 --> 00:41:14,829 Someone from the outside who doesn't have our language and the way we 784 00:41:14,879 --> 00:41:18,179 understand polyvagal theory, they would say, well, this person's lazy. 785 00:41:19,059 --> 00:41:19,949 I see this person. 786 00:41:19,949 --> 00:41:20,619 They showed up. 787 00:41:20,989 --> 00:41:21,689 They started it. 788 00:41:22,459 --> 00:41:25,099 They were answering the questions and they recognize that it's not 789 00:41:25,109 --> 00:41:27,999 because they don't want to, they wanted to, they finished the survey. 790 00:41:28,889 --> 00:41:32,119 They just didn't have the energy to further reflect. 791 00:41:32,709 --> 00:41:36,669 They didn't have the energy to further be compassionate for other people, perhaps. 792 00:41:36,699 --> 00:41:39,409 And that's kind of sad, but also like it is what it is. 793 00:41:40,349 --> 00:41:43,239 And I am so grateful, and I think you're listening, I'm assuming you are as well. 794 00:41:43,859 --> 00:41:46,229 I am so grateful they showed up and did what they could, like 795 00:41:46,229 --> 00:41:47,869 they gave the energy they could. 796 00:41:48,699 --> 00:41:49,409 And then that was it. 797 00:41:50,299 --> 00:41:52,439 And we have what they gave us, and thank you for that. 798 00:41:52,489 --> 00:41:56,689 Thank you for those people that started it, and finished it, but just didn't 799 00:41:56,699 --> 00:41:59,499 have the energy to finish it in the way that they originally wanted. 800 00:41:59,743 --> 00:42:02,643 There were some really kind words for me; I'll keep those for myself. 801 00:42:03,463 --> 00:42:06,023 And I want you to know, I appreciate that. 802 00:42:06,573 --> 00:42:10,303 I appreciate that my podcast and my free content, the blog and the books. 803 00:42:10,773 --> 00:42:13,943 I appreciate, I'm glad that these have been impactful for you. 804 00:42:14,923 --> 00:42:21,663 That is unbelievably fueling for me to, to read those things and to know that the 805 00:42:21,663 --> 00:42:25,983 stuff I put out there is touching somebody else in a way that's beneficial for them. 806 00:42:25,983 --> 00:42:28,033 It, it's fuel. 807 00:42:28,113 --> 00:42:33,513 Like it, it just, it fills me up and I appreciate that and, um, you're welcome. 808 00:42:34,723 --> 00:42:36,493 And thank you for, thank you for sharing that, but also you're 809 00:42:36,493 --> 00:42:38,933 welcome for, uh, for my efforts. 810 00:42:39,743 --> 00:42:41,723 I do plan on doing another survey of this. 811 00:42:41,723 --> 00:42:43,613 I'm going to have it be more comprehensive though. 812 00:42:43,633 --> 00:42:45,743 Some people said, hey, I want to talk to you about my, or I want to share 813 00:42:45,743 --> 00:42:48,273 about my freeze, my freeze experiences. 814 00:42:48,293 --> 00:42:48,813 What about this? 815 00:42:48,813 --> 00:42:49,273 What about that? 816 00:42:49,613 --> 00:42:54,673 So, um, I will release in the future a more comprehensive survey. 817 00:42:54,673 --> 00:42:57,173 It's probably gonna be pretty exhausting in all honesty. 818 00:42:57,733 --> 00:42:59,423 Um, but I don't, I don't know. 819 00:42:59,453 --> 00:43:03,003 I'm just, I'm just playing around with the idea in my head, but I want to 820 00:43:03,003 --> 00:43:09,638 hear about people's experiences with Freeze, with intimacy, with stillness 821 00:43:09,658 --> 00:43:13,218 with play with flight fight like all the polyvagal states and mixed states. 822 00:43:13,808 --> 00:43:16,798 So we'll see how that comes out - that's that's very much 823 00:43:16,798 --> 00:43:18,048 in the back burner right now. 824 00:43:18,048 --> 00:43:21,968 I I just released Book Two Stuck Not Broken Book Two I'm gonna get 825 00:43:21,968 --> 00:43:26,108 going on stuck not broken book three and revising what I have. 826 00:43:26,608 --> 00:43:29,773 It's pretty much already done, but I'll probably spend a couple months 827 00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:32,923 just revising, adding, taking away, just doing a deeper editing process. 828 00:43:33,933 --> 00:43:36,323 On top of that, I'm working on my next cohort. 829 00:43:36,523 --> 00:43:38,843 I have Shut down to Stillness. 830 00:43:39,678 --> 00:43:43,398 Which, uh, is for people in shutdown to access more safety and 831 00:43:43,398 --> 00:43:44,928 to combine those into stillness. 832 00:43:45,648 --> 00:43:50,448 Now I am working diligently on Stillness to Sympathetic, which is for people 833 00:43:50,448 --> 00:43:54,998 who have access stillness, and now are ready for more mobilization. 834 00:43:54,998 --> 00:43:58,658 I'm calling it shutdown is, uh, no Stillness to Sympathetic. 835 00:43:59,188 --> 00:44:00,868 I'm still working on the title, but that's, I'm leaning 836 00:44:00,868 --> 00:44:01,828 toward that at this moment. 837 00:44:02,568 --> 00:44:07,098 Stillness to Sympathetic, um, the cohorts, the courses, all that stuff is available 838 00:44:07,613 --> 00:44:12,303 in the Total Access Membership, that's the courses, the private community, 839 00:44:12,333 --> 00:44:16,153 the live cohorts, the live Q and A's, the meditations I'm adding to. 840 00:44:16,413 --> 00:44:19,213 I have a few of those in there now, just me recording meditations for you. 841 00:44:20,063 --> 00:44:21,993 Uh, there's a lot there in the Total Access Membership. 842 00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:22,243 So. 843 00:44:22,833 --> 00:44:28,003 If you like this, you're going to fricking love the Total Access Membership. 844 00:44:28,663 --> 00:44:30,223 It's a pretty darn comprehensive. 845 00:44:30,223 --> 00:44:31,103 Let me know if you have a question. 846 00:44:31,133 --> 00:44:35,203 Um, there'll be a link in the description for how to learn more about that, but put 847 00:44:35,203 --> 00:44:40,603 a question in the comments on YouTube and, um, or email me Justin at Justin LMFT. 848 00:44:40,603 --> 00:44:40,953 com. 849 00:44:41,853 --> 00:44:44,943 And I'll, I'll address whatever you need as far as the Total Access Membership 850 00:44:44,943 --> 00:44:48,203 it goes or whatever else, just email me and, or message me and leave a 851 00:44:48,213 --> 00:44:50,163 comment and I'll respond to what I can. 852 00:44:50,163 --> 00:44:50,533 That's it. 853 00:44:50,573 --> 00:44:54,458 Thank you for hanging out with me in this episode, but also this entire series. 854 00:44:54,998 --> 00:44:56,158 Uh, I'll stop talking. 855 00:44:56,158 --> 00:44:56,747 Bye.