Welcome back to HR Coffee Time. It's wonderful to have you listening today. I'm your host, Fay Wallis, a career and leadership coach for HR and people professionals, and I've made HR Coffee Time especially for you to help you have a successful and fulfilling HR or people career. As I'm a coach, you are not going to be surprised to hear that I think coaching can be an incredibly valuable experience to go through and I hope it's something that you'll enjoy and find useful if you decide to try it for yourself at some point.

I'm going to be talking about coaching and what to do if you're thinking of booking a coaching session at some point, or maybe even several points during your career. But I also know that if you have a coaching session booked or you're thinking of booking a coaching session, you might be wondering what to expect and what you can do to get the most out of that session.

So that's what I'm going to be covering in this episode and I hope it's going to be helpful whether you have coaching with me or if you decide to work with another coach. Each coach has their own unique style and areas of expertise, but most professionally trained coaches tend to structure their sessions in similar ways.

Please do feel free to share this episode with your coach and ask if what I describe sounds like their approach or if there's anything different they'd like you to know to help you get the best out of your time with them. One of the biggest things you can do to help you get the most out of your coaching session is to have thought about what topic, challenge, area or goal you'd like to focus on in it.

You are in the driving seat when it comes to your coaching, so I'll always start the session by asking how you are, how things have been since we last saw each other, and then I'll ask you what you'd like us to focus on in the session together, because it's really important that it's what you want to focus on.

Rather than what I think could be a good idea for us to work on, you're the one in the driving seat, not me. I'm here to partner with you and to support you. Everyone's challenges or areas that they'd like to focus on in their coaching sessions are unique to them, but they are normally always centred on some sort of change, whether that's a change in thinking, a change in behaviour, a change in attitude or a change in performance.

And to give you an idea of some of the things that I've been asked to support with a lot over the years, These include things like feeling stuck and not sure what to do next for their career, coping with a setback at work, Getting on top of a challenging workload, finding more fulfilment from their career, finding a way to handle a difficult colleague or a tricky boss, getting a better work life balance, starting a leadership role for the first time,

transitioning into another new role and wanting to do really well. Influencing more effectively at work to get buy in for their ideas and people to take action on them. Being more strategic at work. And the big one that comes up more than anything else is building confidence. And because confidence is such a personal thing this can be Oh gosh, for a huge range of things like being more confident at speaking up in meetings, being more confident at handling conflict, being more confident at delegating to other people.

All of us will find that there are certain things we'd like to feel more confident about at certain points in our careers and coaching can just be a fantastic tool to help us with this. Sometimes people will worry about how to choose what to focus on for their coaching session, or they might worry that what they originally said they wanted to focus on in coaching when they first met me has changed since then.

So I'd like to put your mind at rest in case this is how you're feeling. I never mind. at all if you want to change the focus of the sessions. I know how quickly things can change at work and that new priorities or challenges can spring up. What matters to me is that the sessions are as helpful for you as possible, so it's really important that we focus on what is going to be most useful for you.

If you're not sure what to focus on in a session, I found that certain questions can help to unlock ideas about what is going to be the best thing for you to focus on. And I'll share them with you now. The questions are, What are you feeling stuck about at the moment?

What is challenging at work right now? What is getting in the way of your happiness or your success at work? What is worrying you at the moment? What goals are you excited about achieving? What strengths would you like to develop further?

What opportunities do you see for growth in your current role? What successes have you had recently that you'd like to build on? What feedback have you received that you'd like to explore or act upon? And finally, What new skills or knowledge are you interested in developing?

Hopefully one of those questions will have sparked an idea of what is going to be a good focus for you for the session. But if you find yourself in a situation where you've just been flat out or you just haven't had time to think about what you'd like to focus on before the session starts, don't worry at all.

We can talk about it together at the beginning of the session and make time for you to choose your area of focus. And most other coaches, if not all other coaches, will be more than happy to do that with you and will be trained so they know how to do that. If you listened to the most recent episode of the podcast, you'll have heard the fabulous Jude Sclater talking about coaching, and you'll know that coaching is not usually about giving advice.

And actually, if you're wondering what it really is like being in a coaching session, if you want to hop back and listen to that episode, it is the one that was released before this one, you will get to hear Jude coaching me. So that felt like quite a vulnerable moment being coached live for the podcast, but well I found it really helpful and I'm hoping that for you it would be helpful to have a real life example of what being coached is like.

So coming back to what I was saying though, Jude explains that coaching isn't usually about giving advice, instead it's about having a structured conversation where you're asked questions to help you unravel your thinking or broaden your thinking and come up with solutions and ideas to take forward.

But because one of the areas of coaching I specialize in is career coaching, if you need help with something very practical like improving your interview skills or your LinkedIn profile or your CV, I will give you advice and I'll share my knowledge with you because in those instances that approach is going to be more helpful than asking you questions.

But for all the other things I mentioned earlier on, like building confidence or handling a tricky boss, I'll always start with what I call a purist coaching approach, which is, I'll ask you questions instead of giving you advice. Because, almost always, without fail, the things that you're more likely to take action on, and more likely to buy into, are things and ideas that you've come up with yourself.

But sometimes, if you're feeling particularly stuck, or we're talking about a topic that I have frameworks or resources or knowledge about that I think could be helpful to share with you, I will ask you in the coaching session if you're happy for me to share it. If you say no, because you want to carry on with the purist coaching approach, that is absolutely fine.

I'm not going to mind in the slightest. And if you say yes, then of course I'll share it with you and hope that it's useful. And to give you an example of what this might be like, perhaps you're trying to be more strategic and you're worrying about what strategy template to use because you haven't got one.

I could then ask if you'd like me to share some templates that I have, or if you're struggling with low confidence, I might ask if you'd like me to share some techniques and ideas that have helped other people. Or if you're finding someone difficult to deal with at work, I might ask if you'd like to take a DISC assessment and have a report from it that explains about different ways of communicating with or influencing people who we might not naturally find easy to get along with.

For the majority of the session though, I'll be focused on asking you questions to help you explore the topic you've brought to the session. It's not a chance to be all about me and me sharing all my ideas. It's a chance for you to really think these things through and come up with stuff that you're excited to try out.

Once we've reached the end of the coaching session, you will have gained new insights or awareness, and you'll hopefully be feeling excited about testing out some ideas and giving them a try. If you're having a program of coaching rather than a one off session, you'll then be able to see how anything you wanted to try out worked and see if you'd like to tweak your ideas, try something new, or focus on a different topic for the next session.

But let's take a step back for a moment. Now you know what to expect from this session and you've had a chance to think about a topic you'd like to bring to this session to talk through, let me share some simple, practical things you can do to get the most out of your coaching experience. Often coaching means talking about things that are important to you and can feel quite personal.

Things that you don't necessarily want other people listening in on. So you want to make sure that you can be in a place where you feel comfortable and you won't be disturbed and other people can't overhear you or listen in on our conversation. So if you're having an online coaching session and you're at work, you'll probably want to book a private meeting room for the session.

Or, if you have a hybrid working arrangement with work, you may even feel more comfortable choosing a day for your session when you're working from home. You're also going to want to get rid of any distractions. So pop your phone on silent, close down your emails and shut down Microsoft Teams. Because a message suddenly pinging up and catching your eye when you're in the middle of deep thought can suddenly derail your thinking and set you back during your session.

Ideally, if you can try to make sure that you have at least five minutes free between the end of whatever it was you were doing before your coaching session. and the start of your coaching session.

This can be so helpful for making the transition between what you were doing before and what you're about to do in coaching so that you're not feeling rushed, you're not feeling stressed. I know it can feel hard to make time for transitioning well, just giving yourself that five minutes, but it can also make a huge difference to your energy levels, to your mental headspace.

If you're able to give yourself even one minute to breathe deeply, or relax, or stretch, and just detach from all the busyness of the earlier part of your day, or all the busyness that you have to come, you can be amazed at the difference it makes. I have a favourite one minute meditation exercise that I often recommend that's created by Headspace and it's available for free on YouTube. So I'll pop a link to it in the show notes in case it's something you'd like to try.

You'll also probably find it incredibly helpful to have some buffer time after the end of your session so that you can plan out any actions that you've decided you'd like to take, or you just want to fully absorb everything that you've discussed in the coaching session. Otherwise there's a risk that you start forgetting the things that you decided you wanted to try out, which is a real shame. Ideally you'd be able to give yourself half an hour for this buffer time, but even 10 minutes can make a massive difference in helping you make real progress in your coaching experience.

There are also some things that you might want to have to hand in case you need them in the session. The first thing is that you're probably going to want to make some notes. You're not going to want to make loads and loads and loads of notes, but you'll probably want to make some.

Especially as you're likely to come up with ideas that you want to try out as a result of the coaching. So having a pen and a special notebook ready that you can record all your coaching notes in can be such a good idea. If you're having several coaching sessions, there's something really satisfying about being able to flick back through the notebook and see all of the things that you covered in the coaching, the things that you tried as a result of the sessions, and the progress that you've made.

I've started sending everyone who joins my group programme, Inspiring HR, they all get their own special notebook and their own pen, so that they can jot down any ideas and notes as they're working their way through the group program. And I just think it's a really nice thing for people to be able to have and just see exactly how much progress they're making. I won't usually make lots of notes myself because I want to be looking at you rather than at my notebook so you know you have my full attention as your coach, but I will jot a few things down as we're talking.

Fay Wallis: So if I ever look away from the screen, that's what I'm doing. It's not that I've suddenly lost interest, it's absolutely the opposite. I'm just making a couple of notes. And they're normally around making sure that I remember things accurately, especially at the beginning of the session. So I always like to write down exactly what it is that you say you would like to focus on so that when we're at the end of the session, I can refer back to it.

I can say to you, okay, this is what we said we were working on. How do you think we've done? I do do in person coaching and see people in real life, but the majority of my coaching now takes place online over Zoom or Microsoft Teams, and that means it's easy for the coaching to be recorded if you'd like it to be.

In my experience, most people don't seem to want it to be recorded, but I felt like I should let you know that just in case it is something you'd like recorded. And if you want to have a record of the session, then just tell me so that I know to hit the record button for you when we start the coaching, and then I can share the recording with you afterwards.

It's my goal for you to feel relaxed and comfortable throughout your coaching, so little things like having a drink with you can help with that. Especially as you're going to be doing a lot of talking, so you might find your mouth getting dry. You probably are going to find you want to have a hot or a cold drink with you, just in case you get thirsty.

I never mind at all if you want to start sipping your drink part way through, I'm the same and I'll nearly always have a drink with me as well. Then a final practical thing to let you know about is that if you are going to be talking about a topic that you think might make you feel emotional or you might start feeling upset, then you also might want to have some tissues to hand, so you've got them there just in case you need them.

I promise that doesn't happen all the time in case you're thinking, oh my goodness, am I going to have coaching and end up crying the whole time? No, but it does happen sometimes and so it's nice to have some tissues with you in case it does. Final thoughts on what can help you make the most of your coaching sessions are to be open minded and give feedback.

Feedback is so helpful for me as your coach or whoever it is who's coaching you. So we'd love to hear, well I hope the other coach would love to hear as well, I'm sure they would, I'd love to hear if there's anything you're finding particularly helpful or if there's anything that you might like to change or adjust.

And as an example of that, I've had some coaching clients who'd prefer me to take a very gentle approach with them, because they might be feeling quite fragile or have been going through a very tough time. And if that's the case, they just might want me to challenge them very gently on things. While other people who might be feeling differently and are in a very different situation and are having coaching for a completely different reason, they might want to be challenged more strongly and perhaps have a faster pace with the coaching session.

My natural style is is to challenge gently and to approach sessions with empathy and friendliness. But if you'd find a different style more helpful, then just let me know. And again, if you're working with a different coach, just let them know.

As I said at the beginning, the coaching is for you, so all feedback about how you're finding the coaching is helpful information so that I know how to support you best, what to continue with, and what to potentially tweak or adjust if I can.

Once you've had your first coaching session, you might find it useful to spend some time reflecting before your next session and jotting down some thoughts to share.

So I know I said to you about having buffer time immediately after your coaching session, you also probably want to give yourself a little bit of time before your next session, perhaps the day before, well it depends how organized you're feeling about it, the day before or even half an hour before you're having your session, just so that you can reflect on what's been happening since whatever session you had most recently and some reflection questions to help you do that are, how have you been since the last session?

What action did you take since the last session? What are any successes and challenges you've had since then? What would you like to get out of or focus on in your next session? And is there anything else you'd like to share? And that can just help you get your thinking clear before you start your next session.

It's not an absolutely essential thing to do, but if you're really trying to maximise the coaching as much as possible, it's something that you might find useful. If you've been listening to this before you're having a coaching session with me and you have got any other questions at all, please do ask them, I'm always happy to help.

Or if you have any questions that come to you while you're in the middle of a coaching session, feel free to ask them then too. As a coach I'm a big fan of questions, whether that's me asking them or you are asking them of me.

That brings us to the end of our episode today. I hope it's given you a good idea of what to expect from your coaching session and how to make the most of it. Remember, it's all about you, what you want to focus on, what changes you're looking for, and how you can develop and grow. Whether you're thinking about confidence, handling tricky work situations or figuring out how to thrive in your role, coaching can be such a valuable tool. And now you've got some practical tips to help you get the best out of your sessions, like finding a quiet spot, bringing a notebook, and giving yourself a bit of time before and after to settle in and reflect. I really hope that you found it helpful, whether you're about to have your first ever coaching session, you've had coaching before, or you're thinking about having it in the future.

And remember, if you do have coaching with me, I'm always happy to answer any questions or adjust things to suit you better. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of HR Coffee Time. I've loved having this chat with you about coaching. I hope you're having a fantastic week wherever you are in the world and if you're in the UK like me, fingers crossed we'll still be enjoying some of this gorgeous sunshine for the rest of the week.

Take care and I'm looking forward to being back again soon with the next episode for you.